I don't have a low sex drive, but I rarely want to have sex. Or rather, I WANT to have sex but I don't want to be me while I'm doing it.
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 18, 2013 -
19 answers
I didn't communicate with my SO before hand, and now I'm self destructing. What are my options?
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 16, 2013 -
14 answers
Help us decide if girlfriend and I should press trespassing charges against girlfriend's father, and how to do it.
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 13, 2013 -
9 answers
My wife and I have been together for many, many years, and have a very happy relationship. Best friends first, then lovers, then parents, now very happily married couple of almost three decades. The problem is, I think I might be too affectionate with her, and I'm looking for perspective on whether or not I should dial it back, and if so, how to go about doing it without fundamentally changing who I am.
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 13, 2013 -
42 answers
I'm in my late twenties, straight and male and I've been having a persistent problem in relationships: I like dating, and I don't like being exclusive after a month or two of dating. I also don't like spending 4-5 days a week with someone after that amount of time. What can I do and how can I set expectations while emphasizing I'm not trying to have casual sex with a lot of people?
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 10, 2013 -
20 answers
I’ve been dating my girlfriend for two and a half years. She is 28, I am 42. She really wants to get married and have kids. Part of me likes that idea a lot, but another side of me has extreme anxiety around the idea of commitment. I have struggled with anxiety since my early 20s and have undergone a lot of therapy, and while I understand what the anxiety is and where it comes from, no one has been able to “cure” me of it to the point where suddenly the things I’m anxious about don’t bother me any more.
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 10, 2013 -
23 answers
My long-term partner and I had relationship problems, spent some time apart, and are in the process of getting our lives back into one home. Now that I've moved my stuff back in, problems that I thought we'd dealt with are happening again. Is it time to go back to therapy or is there something else I can be doing?
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 2, 2013 -
44 answers
How does one handle sudden epiphanies about relationships, the kind of ones that happen when waking one morning and completely reverse your feelings from the night before?
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posted by anonymous
on May 27, 2013 -
24 answers
I have a very good friend who I spend time with on a regular basis. In recent history (and maybe probably for the foreseeable future) he has been depressed about his dating life, so naturally, it is a subject that comes up and I discuss it with him. However, given our past history together, it's been a really hard subject for me to discuss with him and I would like some help navigating this from the hivemind.
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posted by anonymous
on May 26, 2013 -
11 answers
So I got engaged and bought a house with my fiancee. We lived together for a couple of years but it did not go well and she moved out. So I'd like to keep the house but do that I'll need to get her off the mortgage and off the deed.
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posted by anonymous
on May 22, 2013 -
23 answers
I'm getting ready to have a possible "final conversation" about financial responsibility with my boyfriend. I just want to check in to see that I'm being realistic with today's economy.
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posted by anonymous
on May 21, 2013 -
33 answers
I'm currently in the process of moving in with my girlfriend of ~2 years. Everything was going smoothly, but now that I'm half moved in she's scared every day that I'm going to think I've made a mistake. How can I best move forward here?
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posted by anonymous
on May 19, 2013 -
17 answers
I've been dating a girl for a couple of months and she wants to do
everything together. What's a good way to establish boundaries and let her know that I care about her friends, things she does, while not pushing her away?
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posted by anonymous
on May 11, 2013 -
10 answers
My boyfriend and I haven't been together for a very long time, but it has already started to feel very serious and I see the potential for a longterm future together. We are both extremely close with our families and I know that family life and children are a huge priority for both of us. We're on the same page there. However... By extraordinary coincidence we both suffer from the same rare, semi-inheritable disease.
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posted by anonymous
on May 10, 2013 -
25 answers
I've been married for 9 years and have been faithful in every way. I recently became close with a member of the opposite sex who I truly value as a friend. But I find myself thinking about this person way too much, and I am not sure how to deal with it.
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posted by anonymous
on May 7, 2013 -
15 answers
I'm generally happy with where I am, but lately I've been feeling more and more envy when I see couples and it's getting distracting...
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posted by anonymous
on May 6, 2013 -
13 answers
I was recently in the situation where I met a possible new love interest but, due to interference by a mutual social group, the relationship never had a chance to begin.
How common is this and how can I protect myself? Snowflakes inside.
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posted by anonymous
on May 3, 2013 -
26 answers
I’m a 31 year-old female. About 9 months ago, a 2-year relationship ended. I’m still struggling a lot with it. How abnormal is this, and what else can I do?
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posted by anonymous
on May 1, 2013 -
17 answers
I grew up in a lower-middle-class family. Through a combination of hard work, opportunity and luck, I find myself in my 30's with a very decent net worth. It's enough to allow me to feel very secure about retirement, job/career changes, health issues, supporting family, etc. and this security is probably the most important aspect of money to me. For me, money means security, safety, freedom. I maintain a very middle-class lifestyle, continue to work full-time and save at a reasonable rate.
I've started to realize how much this factors into my thinking about long term relationships, especially marriage (and its attendant family joining) and financial co-mingling, and am looking for some perspectives on positive ways of managing these kinds of issues.
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 27, 2013 -
21 answers
I have been dating my girlfriend for 2 years and am very much in love. She is bipolar and it is affecting my emotional and mental health. I cannot shake these feelings of leaving her but I know love is hard to come by. What should I do?
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 22, 2013 -
25 answers
So, I'm with this guy, and we hope to spend the rest of our lives together. I'm a Millennial saver* and he's a Gen X spender. He has a middle class income (around 40k), and I make half of that. When it comes to our arguments, it may also be of relevance that he's a human and I'm more of a Vulcan. How do we reconcile our opposing viewpoints about finances, trust, and gadgets?
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 11, 2013 -
60 answers
My mother and mother-in-law have had a falling out due to a misunderstanding on my mother-in-law's part. My mother-in-law lives with me and my mother is due to visit in the summer (she lives abroad). Before I collapse with stress, I need some external perspective on this issue. Help!
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 8, 2013 -
15 answers
My wife and I separated six months ago. Now, after marriage and individual counselling, it looks like we might be ready to give things another shot. How do we go about re-integrating our lives whilst there are still small alarm bells ringing?
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 1, 2013 -
32 answers
I'm in a great new relationship, yay! It's been about 4 months. I like her. She likes me. But I am a classic anxiously attached type, and I would like your advice on how to cope with the "omg what will I do when she figures out I'm a loser and she dumps me and why didn't she call last night and she seemed annoyed when I said that and omg what if she doesn't like me anymore" feeling.
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 1, 2013 -
11 answers
I recently met an amazing, smart woman. On our third date, I made a stupid comment that offended her. I made it worse by trying to cover myself. I really want to salvage this situation and see this woman again.
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 31, 2013 -
55 answers
My boyfriend of a little more than a year is a totally. great. guy. With one exception: he thinks that being funny means saying whatever overtly racist, homophobic or sexist joke he can think of as a response to many situations. I always stop and tell him it's not cool, then he says, "what? I'm just kidding." Now, I worry he might actually be pretty sexist. What to do?
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 26, 2013 -
181 answers
I'm experiencing a very tumultuous time in my relationship with my partner of 4 years. I don't know what part of our relationship problems are due to his ADHD, general depression on both our parts or incompatibility. Where can I go from here? What questions can I ask myself and him to get a clearer idea of the origin of our problem?
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 26, 2013 -
4 answers
So... There are plenty of help-me-with-my-finances questions on MeFi, but this is more of a relationship question...
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 26, 2013 -
37 answers
BreakupFilter: I've been dating a woman for about five months now, and whilst she's lovely I'm starting to think that maybe I've been hit by a limerence bomb... As it starts to fade, is it time for me to walk away?
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 22, 2013 -
17 answers
Most recent relationship did a number on my self-confidence. Help me figure out how to regain what was lost. Details inside.
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 11, 2013 -
17 answers
I have a ten year history of extremely intense borderline co-dependent relationships that consume my life. Two years ago I finally ended the cycle and started working on myself, now I'm trying to have healthy relationships, but it's not working as well as I anticipated.
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 11, 2013 -
11 answers
We have been dating for a year now and spend pretty much every available moment together. But it's stressing me out, I can't see my friends, and my free time after work and wekends, which used to contain a healthy quantity of "me" time, get swallowed up by "us". How can I find a balance without hurting his feelings?
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 10, 2013 -
21 answers
My BFF and former FWB-type is most likely a narcissist (*My untrained diagnosis). With every argument, fight, or disagreement, I find myself resolving things on
their terms, usually because I can empathize with their emotional state and/or their "situation." So I find the logic in their position, however skewed, and I stop being upset. Probably unhealthy? To a point? ... Where's the line?
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 9, 2013 -
25 answers
This has been happening for a few years now, where I fall for somebody emotionally unavailable, or already in a relationship and they do not tell me until much later. It has happened every single time with men that show interest in me and it is very upsetting as it makes me feel worthless or only second best. I feel like going on a break from men, even though it would technically be a break from nothing.
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 9, 2013 -
19 answers
I feel that since older, attractive, successful guys get so much love already, I shouldn't like them. It just feels unfair, so much so that I try to deny my feelings and COMPENSATE by liking the opposite. This has terrible results. How do I stop thinking like this?
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 7, 2013 -
19 answers
My boyfriend and I have been dating for five months. After a big fight this weekend, we've decided to take a week off from seeing each other. Has this strategy EVER improved a relationship? &How do I best manage anxiety this week?
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 3, 2013 -
21 answers
I'm four months into a fairly intense relationship, and drama and mental health issues have reared their ugly heads. As someone who has had recent mental health problems of my own, I'm feeling a little shaky about the whole thing; can the hive mind give me another perspective?
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 28, 2013 -
13 answers
My boyfriend treats me wonderfully, like I'm the most important thing on the planet. Now, we are taking our first steps down a very quick path towards Full Lifetime Committment: moving-in, with the understanding that marriage and kids will follow shortly. (Why the speed? I'm 37 with some history of ladytroubles that require maximum time to try and get pregnant.) I was feeling very ready for all this 2-3 months ago, but now am having doubts. Help! Are these standard cold feet, or do you spot any red flags here?
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 27, 2013 -
26 answers
Is it better to just break up with my SO, or tell them how anxious I am about moving in together?
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 25, 2013 -
25 answers
How do I persuade my long-term partner to do what I need about half the time? He is not, I repeat not, a good American progressive who's been through therapy. He loves me and wants to satisfy me, but is not a willing participant in the "hey, let's have an open discussion" approach. What are some alternative tactics?
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 17, 2013 -
29 answers
Recently I've met several young men who said they're not ready for a relationship. Generally, they would like to date, even "long term," meaning months, or even a year or few, but they state that they don't feel ready for finding a person to settle down with. I am, however, ready for that. My response so far has been to not date people who state this, either on OKC (e.g. "how long would you want your next relationship to last?" "a few months to a year") or in person (e.g. a guy recently asked why I don't date younger and I said it's because they're usually not ready for something serious, he said 'yeah, I'm not'), but I'm wondering if this is a mistake I should not repeat if it comes up again in the future. Please advise me.
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 15, 2013 -
38 answers
So. Either my boyfriend's drinking or my anxiety about his drinking is going to ruin our (extremely awesome, otherwise very solid) relationship. I can't tell if I'm being crazy or not.
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 13, 2013 -
57 answers
I'm in a relationship with wonderful woman (4 months) who I am falling for but should I break it off now because it's unequal?
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 12, 2013 -
16 answers
I'm pretty happy. Some amazing things have been happening in my life lately. One of the amazing things is a new relationship with someone who might be the love of my life. Here's the rub: I'm in my early 30s, a virgin and have never had a relationship longer than 3 months. I usually run away when relationships start to get too close. This new relationship feels perfect, easy and safe, but I'm afraid I might repeat my old patterns eventually. We have just passed the 3 month mark.
If my happy, falling in love self goes to therapy and tells this as my reason for seeking treatment, what will the therapist think? Do I Need therapy///or can it help me?
posted by anonymous
on Feb 1, 2013 -
15 answers
I'm confused by my boyfriend's criticisms of my personality. I can't tell if they're legitimate problems I should work on in this relationship because I will encounter the same issues with most perceptive guys, or if it's a sign that he'll never fully accept who I am.
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 31, 2013 -
82 answers
Straight guy here, mid-30s. I'm a relationship virgin apart from two or three very brief and superficial ones, and would be an actual virgin if not for a handful of sexual encounters, almost all of them very unsatisfying. I've always fantasized about love and sex but whenever things get real my heart and body seem to lose all interest. What's wrong with me and are there other people out there in the same boat?
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 13, 2013 -
35 answers
