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choose: job and lifestyle OR friends and family

Which would you choose: a great job and lifestyle OR being close to your family and friends? Especially if you really can't have both at the same time...? [more inside]
posted by elizamina on Jan 25, 2014 - 33 answers

SO's Sick mother- not sure how to deal with her asking my SO to move in

I come from an abusive family where illness was often used an an excuse to mistreat people. For example, my mother would emotionally abuse my father and I and then say it was because she was sick and that we had to learn to deal with it. My SO just moved from another city to be with me and two months in his mother is asking him to move back home for her hip replacement surgery "until she can drive." I am finding this very stressful. [more inside]
posted by ponytime on Jan 6, 2014 - 34 answers

How can I create a healthy relationship with my soon-to-be stepmother?

My dad is getting married to a woman with whom he's had a very tumultuous, difficult relationship. They are moving across the country together, and I'm scared. Lots more details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 5, 2014 - 25 answers

How to interact with an unfamiliar new resident in my parents home?

A lovely, college-aged young woman who has had a very rough year is coming to live with my parents, whom I visit several times a year, often for extended periods of time (I live 900 miles away, but I'm a student with long vacations). I think this is great. However, I feel a little at sea for how to interact with her, and to prepare for this change, especially given the giant elephant in the room: the horrible event that happened which has caused her to need a new home. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 17, 2013 - 31 answers

Fiction featuring Thanksgiving gatherings?

What are some examples of works of fiction (e.g. novels, movies) that feature a Thanksgiving family gathering as a major plot element? [more inside]
posted by Asparagus on Nov 30, 2013 - 21 answers

Strategies for quality time with my wife when life gets in the way

How does a youngish (36) married couple spend quality time together when demanding jobs and childcare responsibilities seem to make it nearly impossible? What are your strategies? How do you cope? [more inside]
posted by Creamroller on Nov 13, 2013 - 18 answers

Cutting off abusive parents AFTER they have tried to make amends?

My parents were abusive for over a decade of my life, profoundly and in many ways permanently impacting my physical health and emotional and social well-being. Since that time, they have apologized, but I am still incredibly angry and hurt by the choices they made. Could cutting off contact help me move on? Mefites who have been in similar situations, please share your experiences and suggestions for healing. More details below. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 30, 2013 - 46 answers

how can an introvert infiltrate a tight-knit group of super-socializers?

my SO of about a year has a very large family that is heavily into socializing, and i'm an introvert. can we peacefully coexist? [more inside]
posted by humiliated_grape on Aug 28, 2013 - 20 answers

Friend just gave birth. Leaving her husband. What does she need to know?

Not the happiest circumstances to bring a new child into this world. After years of supporting her husband, financially and emotionally, she's reached her limit. He's dealing with some addiction issues, and has become increasingly hostile with the birth of this baby. Maybe they'll work this out one day, but right now she doesn't feel safe, has filled her car with personal belongings and is staying with family. She left him a lengthy note, but does not want to talk to him in the next few days. This has been a long time coming, and while I don't imagine it will be a surprise—his family has actually encouraged her to do this—he won't react well. What sort of legal precautions should she begin taking? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 29, 2013 - 19 answers

Where to go next in personal finance journey?

How to balance saving, paying off debt, improving living situation, having a baby, getting spouse more involved in finances, better managing retirement accounts, and a partridge in a pear tree. [more inside]
posted by wannabecounselor on Jun 4, 2013 - 14 answers

How to not get upset if my partner sees my friends' news before me?

A few times, my partner has seen news (on Facebook mostly) from friends such as my siblings and their partners, before I have. I get very upset when this happens. Is this irrational? Is there any good way to cope with it? [more inside]
posted by skippy_gal on May 21, 2013 - 31 answers

How to have a healthy relationship with my anxious parents.

How to have a healthy relationship with my anxious parents. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 11, 2013 - 9 answers

Need perspective on inter-family conflict

My mother and mother-in-law have had a falling out due to a misunderstanding on my mother-in-law's part. My mother-in-law lives with me and my mother is due to visit in the summer (she lives abroad). Before I collapse with stress, I need some external perspective on this issue. Help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 8, 2013 - 15 answers

Help me respond constructively to my brother!

My older brother (in his 50s) posted something on FB regarding the Steubenville rape case, which was: [more inside]
posted by HopperFan on Mar 17, 2013 - 52 answers

Which way past this impasse?

How do I reconcile my parents and my fiance? Should I even try? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 11, 2013 - 25 answers

Should I bring up this family incident from the past that still upsets me?

Should I bring up this family incident from the past that still upsets me? [more inside]
posted by sunflower16 on Dec 25, 2012 - 32 answers

Help me deal with my sister's baby daddy's behavior.

I have a problem with my little sister's baby daddy. He's racist, bigoted, irresponsible, and I can see that he's a bad person for my sister and their child. It's driving me crazy, and being around him is breaking my heart. What can/should I do? Warning: some derogatory language within. [more inside]
posted by your mom's a sock puppet on Dec 22, 2012 - 47 answers

Put me out of my misery please

Tricky family situation, I don't know how to act or move forward and need some objective advice. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 15, 2012 - 20 answers

Family Secrets on Film

Documentaries about ordinary people, their secrets and inner lives. [more inside]
posted by Fairchild on Sep 21, 2012 - 36 answers

Help me stop being mean.

I am unnecessarily and randomly critical of people. It is worse when I am stressed. This impacts my friendships, home life, and work. I need to stop. [more inside]
posted by domo on Sep 12, 2012 - 34 answers

But Grandma, a lot has happened in the last 40 years...

Can you help me improve my relationship with my grandparents? They recently moved across the country to be closer to family (my parents, my sister and me + husband). We've grown apart since I transitioned from child to adult (which I think is fairly normal) and I was looking forward to having them in the same city to get closer again. This is turning out to be more difficult than originally premised. Special snowflake details within. [more inside]
posted by pallas14 on Sep 3, 2012 - 25 answers

Do I have to choose between my son, or, my dad & stepmom?

My father and stepmother have rejected my son, after I placed him in an Open Adoption following his birth earlier this year. How do I deal with important family events where both parties would be welcome and invited? Snowflake details within. [more inside]
posted by erasorhed on Aug 6, 2012 - 21 answers

True friendship sometimes means letting go

Tell me about situations where you've reluctantly cut off contact with a close friend, family member, or confidant -- especially those in which the relationship was good to you but you felt that letting go was the best move for *their* sake. [more inside]
posted by renovatio1 on May 27, 2012 - 9 answers

How do I handle my mother's crush on my boyfriend's (much younger) brother?

My mother, who has borderline personality disorder, has thrown a tremendous wrench into my relationship. I am so overwhelmed by this right now. Help? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 17, 2012 - 47 answers

How much time can I expect my partner to spend with family of mine whom he dislikes?

How much time can I reasonably expect my partner to spend with family of mine whom he dislikes? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 25, 2012 - 38 answers

How do I communicate better with my dad?

I need some advice on how to communicate better with my dad and hopefully improve our relationship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 15, 2012 - 11 answers

Do I have snow madness or is this a good idea?

We are exploring moving in with my mother for six months over next winter. She has a very large home where the daylight basement functions as its own living space -- second washer/dryer, kitchenette, bathroom, bedrooms etc. What questions should we be asking? Have you ever done this? How did it go? [more inside]
posted by amanda on Feb 9, 2012 - 13 answers

I'm sick and my boyfriend is sick of me.

Multiple Issues Filter: I've been dealing with depression, anxiety and trouble sleeping for the past few years. I was on meds (effexor and klonopin) for 8 and 4 months respectively before tapering off of them rather quickly so I could have a sleep study done. Last night was my sleep study. The tech woke me up at 2am to adjust a wire, and when she entered the room I started screaming at the top of my lungs. [more inside]
posted by infinityjinx on Feb 8, 2012 - 34 answers

Help me get over being excluded from my father's funeral.

My father passed away recently. We were estranged and I feel really strange about how his family handled his passing. I'm looking for advice about contacting them, or just leaving things be. Help! [more inside]
posted by carmenghia on Jan 24, 2012 - 25 answers

Sleeping Beauty - Sleep, Eat, Go online, Yawn…

Sleeping Beauty - Sleep, Eat, Go online, Yawn… [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 4, 2012 - 27 answers

When your parent is seeing a Bad Person, do you have to try to accept that person into the family?

I've lost objectivity. It seems clear that my mother's 'boyfriend' is a giant loser, but she wants him to be accepted by us and included in family events. What do we do? [more inside]
posted by kitcat on Oct 3, 2011 - 30 answers

Single mom's teenager disapproves of boyfriend

Single mom's teenager disapproves of boyfriend - does it ever get better? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 26, 2011 - 27 answers

Mother-in-law troubles

I need some help regarding my prospective mother-in-law's involvement in our lives. [more inside]
posted by smockpuppet on Sep 12, 2011 - 24 answers

Please help me look at parenthood in a more positive way.

Please help me look at parenthood in a more positive way. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 7, 2011 - 33 answers

Is this sibling relationship salvageable?

How can I fix my relationship with my sister? Should I even try? (long, unfortunately) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 26, 2011 - 25 answers

How to make hiking as family enjoyable for all

Hiking as a family (with 3 teens)-need help making it enjoyable for all. Any tips? The challenges I have had in the past are kids who want to sleep in so it is usually a hotter time of the day for hiking and I have noticed my DH likes to get way ahead of all of the rest of us and even takes different routes sometimes. It seems like the slower ones of our group have to hurry to catch up to the faster hikers. We are all in pretty good shape. [more inside]
posted by seekingsimplicity on Jun 13, 2011 - 9 answers

Top tips for dealing with crazy people?

How do you stay calm under (social) pressure? I'm looking for some tips on how to keep my cool when someone is really trying to wind me up and make me lose my temper. [more inside]
posted by rubbish bin night on Jun 2, 2011 - 28 answers

How to save relationship with uncle?

Is there any way to save my relationship with a relative who has suddenly distanced himself after marriage? [more inside]
posted by timsneezed on May 29, 2011 - 14 answers

How do I tell my sister she rambles on and on and on.......?

How do I tell my sister she rambles on and on and on and on constantly, in a kind way and effective way? Help!! [more inside]
posted by *phoenix* on May 18, 2011 - 27 answers

Help me move forward from an emotionally tramatic year....

How can I restore my mental health/sanity after one stressful hell of a year? Additionally, any suggestions for starting to heal as a surviour of emotional abuse by a parent? [more inside]
posted by snowysoul on May 9, 2011 - 16 answers

It's time for Baby Buster to leave the nest.

What can I do to help my family break out of a negative relationship cycle? [more inside]
posted by Kitty Stardust on May 3, 2011 - 17 answers

How to overcome feeling lost, aimless, confused, and alone?

How to overcome feeling lost, aimless, confused, and alone? Thirty years into my life, I feel like I haven't accomplished anything, and I'm not sure how to go about achieving the things I want from where I am (physically, mentally, and emotionally) right now. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 27, 2011 - 21 answers

Poor relation

How to deal with family members who keep asking for things, when they didn't help me when I needed it badly? (Long emotional details...) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 20, 2011 - 29 answers

Connecting with extended family you barely know

How do I connect with extended family members from whom my immediate family has been estranged? My immediate family has always been on acrimonious terms with my extended family on my dad's side. Now that I'm older I would like to get to know them better but I don't know how to go about doing this. [more inside]
posted by schroedinger on Jan 11, 2011 - 9 answers

How to make new friends when you're all grown up?

Asking for mom: how do you get back out there and form close friendships/relationships after you've already settled down, raised a family, and devoted yourself to work? [more inside]
posted by Amaranta on Jan 9, 2011 - 13 answers

How can I learn to get along with my family again?

How can I find a way to get along with my family again? When I'm around my family for big family occasions like Christmas, everyone seems to fall into long-ago-established patterns of behaviour in which I'm treated like an awkward/over-sensitive/"difficult" twelve-year-old. Anything I do seems to reinforce that impression, and (although I try hard to prevent it) I'm pretty sure that the more they see me that way, the less calm and less inclined to make nice about everything I become, making the whole thing worse. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 26, 2010 - 37 answers

Annoying ex, leave my mom out of this

How do I get my ex-boyfriend to stop contacting my mom? [more inside]
posted by and1 on Nov 22, 2010 - 38 answers

Merry Christmas, sorry I'm gay!

How can I come out to my extended family without it being a holiday "surprise" or confessional atmosphere? [more inside]
posted by nakedmolerats on Nov 20, 2010 - 22 answers

So...how about them Bears?

I need to start calling my mom more often. We are not close. We are both bad at small talk. What the heck do we talk about? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 18, 2010 - 31 answers

How do I explain my crazy family without looking crazy?

I had a childhood that, to the casual observer, was pretty damned chaotic, and this causes some confusion when sharing family anecdotes in casual conversation. [more inside]
posted by Wroksie on Oct 15, 2010 - 25 answers

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