2993 posts tagged with relationships.
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How to handle a jealous partner?

Need help in reassuring/dealing with a rather jealous boyfriend. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by heartofglass on Aug 25, 2015 - 79 answers

Help me learn to talk about myself.

I’m really bad at talking about what’s going on in my life with my family, on both the trivial and profound levels. This is really starting to hurt my relationships. Please help me learn how to do it. [more inside]
posted by Gwendoline Mary on Aug 25, 2015 - 12 answers

Finally pulled the plug on relationship, feeling confused.

I finally pulled the plug on my relationship after I realized I had been unhappy for most of it. My boyfriend was surprisingly understanding and respectful about it. I have a flight in a week, but I find myself often wondering if I’ve done the right thing. I’m worried I might back out of leaving and I need help. Our history and wall of text inside. [more inside]
posted by AdriftInSpace on Aug 24, 2015 - 20 answers

Hey illness, please give me my partner back

Need help handling growing apart from your partner when chronic illness has eliminated everything you had in common. If the relationship is deteriorating, when and how should you keep it alive? [more inside]
posted by internet of pillows on Aug 17, 2015 - 31 answers

Broke up with toxic ex, why do I feel like I did something wrong?

I broke up with my toxic ex roughly 2 weeks ago and I feel real empty and weird. I feel sad and feel like I did something wrong but he mainly to blame for this. More inside [more inside]
posted by ruebeignet on Aug 16, 2015 - 16 answers

Nice is creepy

I am really struggling with developing relationships with nice nonsocially awkward people. Having gone to a few different cbt therapists, I have made major improvements with anxiety/perfectionism/feeling judged. However, when I start chatting with someone who seems not at all socially awkward and appropriately nice, I feel my skin start to crawl and distance myself. How can I fix this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 15, 2015 - 9 answers

Can you teach yourself to be more compassionate in relationships?

Need help in stopping a toxic behavioral pattern in post-divorce relationships. More details inside. [more inside]
posted by heartofglass on Aug 14, 2015 - 7 answers

Grandparents hate us, want to continue loving baby. Now what?

My husband's parents are the only grandparents my child see regularly (we live in his country rather than mine) have decided that they no longer want a relationship with us. They do, however, want to continue their bi-weekly visits to see the baby which I would be "hosting". We don't want to cut them off, but I am not enthused. Reassurance and tips on navigating this requested. I am so confused!! [more inside]
posted by jrobin276 on Aug 12, 2015 - 92 answers

It Really Has Been That Easy For This Pretty Boy

So, I am married to a very pretty guy. We are both mid 30s. His entire relationship history includes women just throwing themselves at him, so he hasn't had to ever make any effort to learn how to be romantic or initiate foreplay. His current method is to just tell me he wants to have sex. When I complained that his method wasn't enough for me, he asked me what I want him to do. It is like I'm dealing with an adolescent boy. What resources could I steer him towards that don't include a sex therapist?
posted by LilithSilver on Aug 11, 2015 - 22 answers

When should you compromise on compromising?

An old flame who has since moved away has recently reached out to me asking if we can give things another go. I'm amenable to the idea, but I feel rather strongly that we should spend a weekend together in a neutral location before deciding anything further. Planning for this has stalled. My gut is giving me mixed signals, has this reached an end or do I need to be more flexible? [more inside]
posted by bernie60676 on Aug 11, 2015 - 31 answers

I think my boyfriend of 7 months is cheating on me. Thoughts?

My boyfriend of seven months has recently been distant, and lied to me about spending time with another girl, then got defensive when I called his bluff. I have little experience with this. More inside. [more inside]
posted by shotinthedark on Aug 11, 2015 - 43 answers

How do I tell s/o they need to change everything they do in bed, for me?

I'm wrestling between not trying to date this person - who's one of my best friends - and trying to make it work. The problem is the sexuality - either the chemistry is off, or it needs to be adjusted. I just don't know *how* to do that, without hurting his feelings, or if I should at all. [more inside]
posted by meeeese on Aug 10, 2015 - 13 answers

Group therapy vs. individual therapy (or both?)

I'm looking for some input on how best to proceed regarding my divorce and whether group therapy or an individual therapist would be best. [more inside]
posted by Twicketface on Aug 10, 2015 - 11 answers

For me it's never "F*ck Yes"

Referring to the title of this article: F*ck Yes or No. I never feel so charmed by someone I meet that I am no-question into them. How do people like me create meaningful romantic relationships? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 7, 2015 - 27 answers

How to deal with feeling suddenly paranoid towards loved one?

Turning into this guys wife. Married a year and a half. Been together for a total of 3 yrs. Prior to around a month ago I had no insecurity issues or paranoia towards my husband. This is the best relationship that I’ve ever been in and I feel so lucky to have met him. [more inside]
posted by puppup on Aug 5, 2015 - 13 answers

How do you define a sex addict?

A close friend and confidante of mine has started a new relationship, but she's questioning what's "normal" for sexual appetites. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 5, 2015 - 30 answers

A lifetime of reading subtext means I sometimes miss the main text.

DatingFilter: Been hanging out with this guy for a few weeks. Asked him out an Actual Date and he declined but it seems like he left the door open. And I'm not sure if my answer closed the door. I am terrible at this dating thing. [more inside]
posted by inmyhead on Aug 4, 2015 - 28 answers

Boyfriend extremely pushy with sex

I have been seeing someone for 4 months. Quite a few times he was very pushy with having sex while I am sick or during period when I made it clear that I don't want to. He never actually crosses the line in forcing me to do it but I still feel weirded out. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 3, 2015 - 84 answers

Embarrassing parents – encouragement please!

My parents are kind of difficult, and haven't been great parents to me. I find them embarrassing in some ways ( I feel terrible saying that but it’s true). How to navigate feeling insecure about them in front of my boyfriend, and the temptation to act insecure and pissy and create issues in my current relationship because of this? Would be great to hear reassurance from people who've gotten over their partner's difficult or embarrassing parents and loved them anyway, or from those who have difficult parents but haven't let it affect their wonderful relationship. Complicated by other issues (mostly cancer-related) – more inside! [more inside]
posted by starstarstar on Aug 3, 2015 - 19 answers

Freaking Out About Ending Up Alone

Just like the title says. In the aftermath of a relationship, I’m panicking about being resigned to singlehood. As you might expect, snowflakes ahead. [more inside]
posted by xenization on Aug 3, 2015 - 16 answers

How to gauge interest and deal with rejection in early stages of dating?

After a pretty rough breakup in January, I'm starting to be open to the idea of dating again. However, I don't find myself romantically attracted to very many people, so when I do find someone I am interested in, I tend to get my hopes up. I started talking to a guy and feel like I am receiving mixed signals - how do I gauge interest and deal with the possibility of rejection after hoping this would work out? [more inside]
posted by Malleable on Aug 2, 2015 - 15 answers

Outsider by choice: how to become more active?

I find it very hard to find the motivation to get involved in social interactions or group activities. I am happy observing, only speaking up when I feel I have something unique to contribute, like when I see nobody else is saying what I have to say or is able to perform something I can do. I don't want attention for the sake of attention and am used to being an observer, but I need to change as this behavior is beginning to have a toll on my life. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by Guelder on Jul 31, 2015 - 9 answers

Leaving my 4 year relatioship, never left anyone before?

After 4 years, and recent realization of my boyfriends distasteful behavior towards me, I am deeply considering leaving my first adult relationship. I've realize that quite possibly I've never been happy. I've been plagued my anxieties and insecurities throughout most of it. It has also had it's fair share of issues. It probably isn't a good sign if leaving our relationship makes me feel more sane. I think I need advice. Inside will be most of our history of issues and some more specific questions. [more inside]
posted by AdriftInSpace on Jul 29, 2015 - 23 answers

What's a normal way to navigate friendships?

I feel as though I have a lot of trouble navigating friendships with same way other people do. More specifically, I feel as though my normal is not anyone else's normal vis-a-vis level of contact, time commitments, etc. How do I address this? Lots of snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by O Sock My Sock on Jul 29, 2015 - 25 answers

I want a divorce, he doesn't

After a long consideration phase, I have decided that I want a divorce but my partner is refusing to start the formal process. What can I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 29, 2015 - 25 answers

Your best resources for evaluating the health of relationships

Without going into detail, I've been given pause about a romantic relationship and am trying to get some perspective on it. Having only the vaguest of itches, I decided to skip laying it all out for fellow MeFites this time in favor of something more universally applicable: what outside resources do you use to take the temperature of your interpersonal connections on your own?
posted by dee lee on Jul 28, 2015 - 8 answers

My guy friend (and crush) blushed when I gave him a compliment

I've liked this guy for quite a while. We're part of a meetup group that he leads. We are around the same age (early 30s, he's two years older). I've always found him to be a great leader and great person all around, despite my crush on him. Recently I told him this, and it wasn't in an overly gushing way. Just a sincere compliment. I was almost crying when I told him, so I was speaking from the heart. [more inside]
posted by starpoint on Jul 28, 2015 - 33 answers

i love you, but your happiness is smothering me

As someone with a history of transcience and instability, can I be happy in a relationship with someone who's had a very conventional life? A looooong explanation follows. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 25, 2015 - 16 answers

Boyfriend asked for space, how long should I wait?

My boyfriend asked for space after going through a pretty rough week. I'm leaving on holiday in a week (going away for two weeks) and I would like to sort things out before then. Is it a bad idea to contact him myself in a few days, or should I wait for him to make the first move (but risk going away for two weeks without having seen him)? [more inside]
posted by Vulpix91 on Jul 25, 2015 - 23 answers

How do I deal with contemptuous people?

Without going into too much detail, I'd love to know the most effective way to combat contempt amongst coworkers, bosses, and fellow members of social circles. I have attempted "killing them with kindness," but it seems to have little impact on diffusing situations where I am treated with disgust. Any help would be much appreciated.
posted by aristotlefangirl on Jul 22, 2015 - 15 answers

I'm invisible in real life, but do well in online dating [27/m]

In real life women don't flirt with me, smile at me in public, or glance at me when they walk past me. However, with online dating I do really well. What gives? I'm starting to suspect I'm just really photogenic and I'm a bit of a dog in real life.
posted by GiveUpNed on Jul 20, 2015 - 22 answers

Should I Just Go Straight to Crone Island?

How do you date while being a feminist? I was thinking about trying online dating again. Then I read the amazing emotional labor thread on the blue, which made me question that. Are there tips and tricks for finding a male partner who is willing to do emotional labor? [more inside]
posted by JustKeepSwimming on Jul 20, 2015 - 44 answers

Emotional Labor Checklist/Self-Assessment

In light of the thread on the blue about unpaid emotional labor, I'd like to construct a self-assessment checklist so that I can actively work on being better at emotional labor. I've got 20 or so line items already written down (posted below the fold), which I've amassed from trying to distill the thread. What additional items should I add or change to more fully flesh out this list? [more inside]
posted by Maecenas on Jul 20, 2015 - 75 answers

Are rebound relationships (and rebound sex) really often helpful?

Looking at the end of a significant LTR that's probably going to be crushing once I get over the shock. They say that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. I have no experience with this. Is it really often true? (they also say that low-fat deserts and education debt are good for you). [more inside]
posted by wildblueyonder on Jul 19, 2015 - 16 answers

She is backing off, should I walk away ?

What to do when she suddenly backs off: she stopped calling , we're still texting but she takes a very long time to respond to textmessages. Should I walk away and go no contact or keep low contact and keep my texts short? I know she’s not ready to hang out again so I dont’ have any intention to ask her out any time soon. (It's kinda complicated, see extended explanation for further details) Thanks in advance! [more inside]
posted by riceball13 on Jul 19, 2015 - 14 answers

Boyfriend wants to do a naked bike ride?

So, I am 22 and my boyfriend is 25. We've been dating 9 months. the other day he asked if I wanted to do the world naked bike ride with him, and I said probably. Well it's tonight, and I told him I'd go by honestly I'm not sure if I want to. Idk, something about it makes me feel really uncomfortable. I dont know what to do? [more inside]
posted by anon1129 on Jul 18, 2015 - 42 answers

Searching for answers regarding lack of success in romance

Why am I also so disappointed and unsuccessful when it comes to dating, romance, and relationships? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 18, 2015 - 12 answers

Figuring out your relationship as a younger sister

I have an older half-sister, who I refer to as my sister because we are (were) very close. She is 14 years older than me. I am 23. Due to the age gap, we now have an odd sibling relationship, and I'm trying to figure out my place in it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 17, 2015 - 17 answers

Befriending the Ex

My girlfriend wants to reconnect with a former partner and would like to invite the ex to a Big Event taking place next year. I am not comfortable with this. What to do? [more inside]
posted by Gray Skies on Jul 16, 2015 - 24 answers

Can I save my relationship? Is it worth saving?

I have been with my fiancée three years, but he doesn't communicate with me, and I'm at my wits end. Is it worth ending an otherwise good relationship if he won't listen to you? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 16, 2015 - 53 answers

Can you Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind someone virtually?

Yeah, that question is a weird one, so I will try to sum it up; boy meets girl, girls sleeps with boy, boy is a stunning wild Ukrainian flower that does not take life seriously and sleeps around on a daily basis, girl gets deeply attached, boy does not. However, I have become addicted to masochistically googling his name so I can view his social networks' pages (mostly Instagram, but also his VKontakte page). It became a daily ritual that deeply interferes with the fact that I absolutely know I should forget all about him and move on, cause as some of you know, this is a cul-de-sac and it hurts. So, I was wondering (perhaps very naively) if there is some way, or even some kind of a paid service, that will make it practically impossible for me to do this. It will make it impossible to google him, OR will block his social status pages from me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 16, 2015 - 16 answers

How can I blend in socially in my field, esp. at my new internship?

I am currently interning and hope to work long-term in the environmental field (but office-based). I like outdoor activities but I am a bit overweight, out-of-shape and am inexperienced. Most of the people in my field are super fit and outdoorsy, and have already invited me on a variety of excursions that are way above my skill level. I've had to decline them all because I know it would be unmanageable at my current fitness state, and I'm worried people will just think of me as anti-social and unlikeable. How can I deal with this? [more inside]
posted by majesty_snowbird on Jul 12, 2015 - 14 answers

Asking my depressed boyfriend to move out so we can work on ourselves

My previously solid almost 2 year relationship is hanging by a thread. My bf of almost 2 years has been experiencing a depressive episode since May. I'm thinking of asking him to move out and seeing each other a couple of times a week. This is because his depression is rubbing off on me and I want us to have some space while we work on our issues, which will take time. [more inside]
posted by Femiluv on Jul 11, 2015 - 36 answers

My 8 year relationship lacks passion... should we move on?

I am in my early 30s and have been in a loving relationship for over 8 years. We live together and our lives are very intermingled. But the passion is gone, and I am beginning to wonder whether we'd be better apart. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 10, 2015 - 16 answers

First Comes Love, then Comes....?

What are other ways of creating and defining commitment in a relationship besides marriage? [more inside]
posted by brookeb on Jul 10, 2015 - 17 answers

How do I overcome selfish cowardice and breakup with a nice person?

I've been dating this woman for almost a year. For most of that time I've known that she is not "the one" but has been very loyal and is head over heels for me. We've helped each other a great deal over the past year and it has been nice to have someone to call when things come up. We also have a pretty good report and she is mostly kinda and sweet. Our sex is good and fun. But I feel like I'm pretending. I've never told her I love her and have been honest about that with her. I know it hurts her that I don't tell her this. I do care about her and we have fun together. But as I get older (45) I feel like I'm spinning my wheels in this relationship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 10, 2015 - 26 answers

To cohabitate or not to cohabitate...

Making big relationship decisions while working through mental health issues and questioning yourself every step of the way. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 10, 2015 - 17 answers

Hot Wife Not Wanting to be a "Hot Wife"

Two years in to our marriage, my husband told me that he had developed a “hot wife” fetish. He was having sex dreams about me having sex with a stranger in front of him. I told him that if he had wanted that sort of thing that he had married the wrong kind of woman. He let it drop, but then began talking about it again after a couple of months. This started a cycle of interactions that has been going on for about five years now, and it is causing enormous strain on the marriage. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 9, 2015 - 60 answers

How do I deal with this intimate relationship with my ex?

Today is the 1 year anniversary of my divorce. The ex, our child, and I just spent the weekend with his extended family, visiting them in another state. We laughed, played darts, had a great time. We have been doing many things together (volunteering, gardening, walking, watching shows, going out) over the last month or so. Today he broke up with his girlfriend, because, among other reasons, he and I spend so much time together. But there is a problem. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 8, 2015 - 32 answers

a big ole bag of confusion, a possible engagement, and me

When faced with sexual confusion, mental health struggles, and a possible engagement, what is a guy to do? [more inside]
posted by MyBeautifulThrowaway on Jul 8, 2015 - 27 answers

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