3186 posts tagged with relationships.
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What is the difference between giving into something and accepting it?

I've been single for a minute. I met somebody that makes me feel good, act happy, and ticks a lot of my boxes. There are, however, a few differences in our world view and life experiences that are deal breakers for me. I can never see myself dating this person, but we have fun. Do I break it off, or continue feeling good and have a breezy time? Snowflakes inside! [more inside]
posted by Vrai on Jul 21, 2016 - 24 answers

Methods to build self-esteem in troubled mother?

How do I help to build self-esteem in my "crazy" (bipolar, BPD), overweight, aging, and unsuccessful mother, who lives in a small town with not much in the way of community, and who refuses to seek medical treatment for her mental health and physical issues? [more inside]
posted by erattacorrige on Jul 20, 2016 - 25 answers

It Seems to Me that "Maybe" Pretty Much Always Means "No"

My (very) new boyfriend told me Friday he isn't sure if he sees himself living with someone or getting married again. Later in the weekend, he backtracked and said he was stressed out about other things, afraid of losing me, and he could be open to it. Is this relationship doomed, or can "not sure" mean something other than "no"? [more inside]
posted by foxonisland on Jul 19, 2016 - 32 answers

How do you get over the anxiety of starting a new relationship?

...if the last one was awful. I'm 25 F. My parents are divorced and had a very abusive relationship. I don't speak with (or have a relationship with) my dad as a result. I'm not really sure what a healthy relationship looks like. My friends (and family) are mostly single. My first and only serious relationship was a complete disaster. [more inside]
posted by Femiluv on Jul 19, 2016 - 10 answers

How do two depressed, stressed people have a sustainable relationship?

My partner and I both struggle with mental illness in different ways. We have been dating for a year and a half and do pretty well together but sometimes we aren't able to be there for each other or hold back out of fear of burdening the other. How do you practice self care and be a good partner in this kind of an arrangement? How do you confront a partner about habits and actions that might result from their depression, while being cognizant that they are struggling? What's a reasonable expectation for emotional support in a relationship? [more inside]
posted by mmmleaf on Jul 18, 2016 - 4 answers

Finding Love After (Big) Loss?

I am a widow and my boyfriend had a very painful and messy divorce 5 years ago. We got together a year ago (right after my husband died) and it has been so amazing. From the moment we laid eyes on each other we connected and have been together almost constantly--first just once a week and now about 4 days a week, and we have vacationed together several times as well. But there is trouble in paradise... [more inside]
posted by Izzi on Jul 15, 2016 - 29 answers

Partner's struggles with anxiety have killed our sex life

I am really struggling with my partner’s anxiety and its impact on our sex life. I am 33, he is 25, and we are a gay male couple. [more inside]
posted by ninefour on Jul 13, 2016 - 12 answers

Happiness living in a small town

Boyfriend and I have been together nearly a year, living together for 7 months. He has a fantastic job opportunity in a small town on the other side of the state and has asked me to move with him. I'm not totally opposed to the idea but not completely on board and excited either. Help me figure out the best way to approach this! [more inside]
posted by Malleable on Jul 11, 2016 - 19 answers

Advise me on marriage.

We're women in our early thirties, non-religious and not planning to have kids. I'm divorced, she's never been married. What do we need to know before tying the knot? [more inside]
posted by possibilityleft on Jul 9, 2016 - 9 answers

I think I want a baby – but not with my husband.

I’m married, mid 30s, and of course, it feels like everyone I know is having children. I love children. I’ve told myself again and again that I’m not going to be a mother. I thought I had made peace with it, and was pretty convinced I did not even want to be a mother. That’s why this seems like a huge betrayal to myself and to my husband.... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 9, 2016 - 26 answers

How to get out of bedtime fights?

My partner (of almost a year) and I have gotten into a fight pattern that I'm trying to find a way out of. At bedtime, especially after a long tiring day, what he needs is to sleep right away, and what I need is some time together to cuddle or talk or make love just be together. When he falls asleep I have a strong emotional reaction. [more inside]
posted by miaow on Jul 8, 2016 - 27 answers

Help me be brave

I've got a friend that I do almost everything with. I have realized I'm very attracted to him. Help me be brave and ask him out. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 5, 2016 - 44 answers

Help me wrap my head around a social conundrum in my relationship

I really like my girlfriends' two best friends and their toddler, but she would like me to like them more. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 5, 2016 - 20 answers

Last night my girlfriend told me that she has no sex drive

I'm 24 and she's 20, last night she told me she doesn't enjoy sex at all and doesn't see the point. She said she likes how people look and likes how I like but doesn't feel desire towards them. I've tried to ask her more about it, like when it started, but she said she genuinely didn't know, it's been causing her a lot of stress and upset and she was afraid to tell me. [more inside]
posted by fallingleaves on Jul 3, 2016 - 40 answers

What self help workbooks would you recommend for me?

I am looking for a book that will help me work through issues with intimacy and being emotionally distant, anxiety surrounding myself and my life, self esteem issues, getting in touch with my emotions, and just dealing with a lot of latent frustration. Overall, a book on tools to develop emotional maturity is what I need. If anyone knows of a workbook with exercises that would be best since they tend to keep my attention, but if not a regular self help book would be awesome. [more inside]
posted by tomtheblackbear on Jun 30, 2016 - 9 answers

Tips for dating a busy entrepreneur/startup owner

What are your tips for dating a busy entrepreneur/startup CEO who has very limited time and emotional energy? What are some tips to help me be more patient/understanding, and what can he do to make the situation better? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 30, 2016 - 19 answers

Is it ever a good idea to force resolution in dating?

I had a few dates with a guy that I work with but not in the same departments. Even though everything was going well, last date was kind of flat. I get the impression that's the last date we will have. Should I clarify that or just let it fade naturally? [more inside]
posted by sockiety on Jun 23, 2016 - 17 answers

They don't ask, so I don't tell

I’m starting to think that I don’t know how to make small-talk properly, or else people tend to find me very boring. Or maybe both. Most of my conversations (aside from those with close friends or family members) revolve around the other person. Should I do something differently? [more inside]
posted by alex1965 on Jun 23, 2016 - 25 answers

Statute of Limitations on Saying Nasty Things After a Bad Breakup

Long story lots of snowflake details to follow. First girlfriend and I broke up about 10 years ago. Haven't spoken since. I made the mistake of looking at her social media accounts recently out of curiosity, and uh...she has been saying some pretty mean things about me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 20, 2016 - 25 answers

Late 30yr Little Person keep getting hit by Married (fetish) men. Advice

My case is very similar to this woman's story. Otherwise I feel I'm at my wits end regarding this issue. Would appreciate thoughtful answers, as I've asked this in other forums and have gotten some of the jealous lot who say I must be a flirt, I must dress sexy, I'm a hoe, etc. -- which all are not true and are really the opposite. I have strict rules of having male friends to only past work colleagues, classmates and social circles. [more inside]
posted by sam3cat on Jun 17, 2016 - 17 answers

Help me understand myself. Why do I get so anxious?

I get a lot of anxiety from dating (and from my life circumstances), and I'm not sure why that is. I'm trying to narrow down the factors and pinpoint what the deal is and how to move forward. I could use some advice or life-experience stories from other folks. [more inside]
posted by uncannyslacks on Jun 15, 2016 - 11 answers

Do you have to be 100% sure that you want to marry someone?

I know this might sound like a somewhat dumb question, but it's something that I'm honestly confused about right now. So I'm hoping that some of you who are older/married/divorced/more experienced could help me. [more inside]
posted by U.N.Owen on Jun 15, 2016 - 57 answers

How to support an abusive friend?

I have a long-term friend who recently assaulted someone at a party. My peer group has basically cut them off at this point. Is there any way to be a good ally AND a good friend or am I going to have to choose sides and end one of the longest relationships in my life? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 14, 2016 - 44 answers

Why did my friend stop talking to me?

I'm 20s, F. My very good friend, 20s, M, abruptly cut off contact. When I approached him about this, he gave me a non-answer. As far as I know, he's been doing well. What happened? [more inside]
posted by fernweh on Jun 14, 2016 - 28 answers

How do you attract good people and rebuild broken trust with bad apples?

Is it possible to consistently attract good people (or luck of the draw) & how do I rebuild my trust in men after these experiences which have left me jaded. Where am I going wrong and how can I do better? [more inside]
posted by Ariel432 on Jun 14, 2016 - 11 answers

Not enthused about sibling's engagement. What to say?

My older brother just proposed to his girlfriend of ~1 year. Red flags have gone off at every turn in his rapidly-progressing relationship with her. Yesterday, he sent a message to me and my parents announcing his intentions to propose, and then it happened before I got a chance to talk with him. My question is, how do I respond to him? More details and a TWIST! inside. [more inside]
posted by Slater Sheldahl on Jun 13, 2016 - 61 answers

Time to end a 7+ year relationship?

Been together since we were kids, we're both now 25. The relationship isn't awful but it is a long way from perfect. Living together and trying to cope with past cheating, feel like I need to decide whether or not to give it everything and try to make it work or cut our losses. [more inside]
posted by sunbear on Jun 13, 2016 - 43 answers

Can/should this relationship be saved? If so, how?

Got it together with friend, relationship seemed to be going amazingly, then he did a sudden about turn and ended it. I am hoping the situation can be resolved. How can I make things better? Or am I kidding myself and do I just need to move on? [more inside]
posted by intensitymultiply on Jun 11, 2016 - 28 answers

coping with a potential crush

I have what seems to be a crush on a good friend. She is not available. What is the best way to handle this? [more inside]
posted by aaabbbccc on Jun 9, 2016 - 19 answers

LDR breakup logistics?

I think it's time for me to breakup with my long distance GF. The "if I should" questions aside, when should I do this, and should I do it in person? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 9, 2016 - 17 answers

What do you do about a love triangle?

I'm finding myself in a very complicated love triangle between my partner and our mutual friend (his best friend of many years). My boyfriend and I are in an open sexual relationship, but I believe I'm emotionally cheating on him. I have no idea what to do, or where to even begin in trying to fix this. [more inside]
posted by chocolatespaghetti on Jun 7, 2016 - 41 answers

Help a guy keep his eyes on the prize in dating and romance

I'm a straight man in his mid-40s who has lost the ability to romantically fantasise. After a late start with the business of touching other people, and some relationships with awesome people where I just wasn't having fun, I've gone too cynical and lost sight of the fact that intimacy makes people happy. Are there stories or dramas that will help me imagine a fulfilling love life? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 7, 2016 - 6 answers

Can I fix my depression to save my relationship?

I'm 26 years old, my fiance is 27. I'm not sure how much information to give, I don't want to post a wall of text. I'm mainly posting this question to hear about other people's experiences, good and bad, with working on their depression while being in a relationship. [more inside]
posted by Leaves22 on Jun 5, 2016 - 25 answers

Ideas may die, but how do you kill them?

CGPGrey explained how internet arguments are self-selecting in order to symbiotically grow two opposing sides who mostly just badmouth the other side with increasingly inaccurate stories. That wouldn't be a problem, except sometimes the process spirals out of control and spills over into harassment, doxxing, violence, etc. So, if we understand how the process works, how do you stop it? Is there actually an effective way to treat the angry thought-germs CGPGrey described?
posted by jsnlxndrlv on Jun 4, 2016 - 10 answers

How to date ethically when you're at the top of a hierarchy?

Everyone says not to do it, but you're going to do it anyway: how to approach dating ethically within a hierarchical community, when you're at the top? I'd like to protect myself, the person I'm interested in, and the other community members who may be affected as much as possible. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 4, 2016 - 15 answers

Co-workers in hate

How to deal with co-worker that you dated and now have to work closely with, but your angst doesn’t stem from having dated, but just from the fact that you know too much about them now and really don’t like them as a person? [more inside]
posted by greta simone on Jun 3, 2016 - 11 answers

Should I break up with him?

So, me and my boyfriend have been together for over a year and a half. Met online shortly after I got out of a 5 year relationship. It has been an interesting relationship. I've had really good times along with bad and doubts throughout. I feel like I am bad at relationships; I don't really have standards for boyfriends or something, I don't know what my problem is, and if anyone can point it out to me it might help me... [more inside]
posted by anon1129 on May 31, 2016 - 36 answers

Could this relationship realistically work?

How should I pursue this, if at all? [more inside]
posted by Yellow78 on May 31, 2016 - 30 answers

Has anyone else had a parent who FORCED you into an eating disorder?

I (female) grew up in a house as the only girl with multiple brothers. My mother began putting me on diets at age 8, before I'd ever shown any signs of having weight issues. I was a normal 8 yr old girl, but not as scrawny as my brothers. From the diets she'd always put me on (this was the 80's, for cultural reference), it began a terrible cycle of me failing the diets and not ever being able to do enough to make her stop policing what I ate. I'm just now coming to the conclusion that I may never have had an issue with food / being overweight if my mom had not forced her insecurities on to me. Longer explanation included. Advice/perspective/fellow war stories appreciated. [more inside]
posted by zettoo on May 31, 2016 - 32 answers

How do nonexclusive relationships work?

I'm in the process of getting divorced and am seeing a couple different dudes. I like them both a lot but am in no place for a serious relationship. My soon to be ex is the only serious adult relationship I've ever had so I totally don't know what I'm doing. [more inside]
posted by Janet Snakehole on May 30, 2016 - 12 answers

How do set appropriate boundaries in a new relationship?

I'm in a wonderful new relationship but I need help with communicating, setting and maintaining appropriate boundaries and getting the space I need while getting to know this person better. [more inside]
posted by smurfzambo on May 30, 2016 - 10 answers

Couples conflict - how do you fight - your stories?

Hive mind, I'm looking for effective conflict resolution techniques/behaviors. A lot of what is written online seems a little too artificial to work in reality with the different personalities of people. What has worked for you in marital conflicts/arguments and why do you think it works? It is said it's not that a couple has fights but how they fight that matters. Having been in a relationship where one person simply doesn't validate the other person's issues and still expects peaceful co-existence, and the other person has a lot of anger in return, i'm trying to figure out what behavioral changes can we make to improve our conflict resolution. Some more details inside [more inside]
posted by whatdoyouthink? on May 28, 2016 - 50 answers

Change your attachment style

I have an avoidance attachment style. I want to be secure. How do I do this? [more inside]
posted by Kalmya on May 27, 2016 - 7 answers

I broke up with this guy, but did I do the right thing?

Broke off a short-term relationship, now struggling badly & unsure if I did the right thing. Tell me I have, or haven't. [more inside]
posted by Ariel432 on May 24, 2016 - 16 answers

Low Libido... Nooooooooo

I’m a 35-yr-old cis woman married to a wonderful man. I’m attracted to him in every way, and we’ve been together for 10 years. This is the first time I’ve needed to reach out for this problem… [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 21, 2016 - 18 answers

My wife is not my granddaughter, I swear!

How to change Facebook settings so Facebook doesn't show my wife as my granddaughter?! [more inside]
posted by terrapin on May 17, 2016 - 22 answers

I love my husband…but I don’t want to sleep with him. Does it matter?

Until I slept with someone else, I didn't realise what I was missing. But I can't break up our lives on a whim. I don't know what to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 16, 2016 - 38 answers

Ok we can try again but don't break me this time lalala

What's a good song or songs that have a message along the lines of "yes things got really messed up between us due to your actions but I have thought about it and am willing to forgive your with the hope that things will be good again" or the closest approximation?
posted by jitterbug perfume on May 15, 2016 - 18 answers

When Judas repents: Forgive or tell her to f*** off?

Is forgiving someone who has hurt you before and believing them when they say they won't again just naive wishful thinking? Or is it a virtue of the brave and the only path to maturity? The rest of the drama inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 14, 2016 - 34 answers

How to hit the reset button on our sex life and libidos?

Our sex life has been lackluster for a long time and I want to change that, but there's a long and complicated history.. Wall of text inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 14, 2016 - 33 answers

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