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Separate or wait to see if things get better?

My husband and I have been together for 9 years, married for the last 3. We met when I was 19, and him 21. Recently I have been feeling like I might want out. I still love him, but I am not sure that he is going to change in ways which I would prefer him to. Should I tell him I want to separate or wait to see if things get better? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 19, 2013 - 35 answers

 

What to do when girlfriend and brother don't get along?

I'm having trouble getting everyone to get along. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 16, 2013 - 18 answers

Setting up a home together– financials

Two people -- both in 40ish-- are talking about the possibility of moving in together. We are in a loving and serious long-term relationship. There has been an initial talk about how we might handle finances and we came to conclusion that there are many ways we could handle them. I read a few posts about how couples handle finances, but am looking for some more viewpoints/options for us to consider and discuss. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 6, 2013 - 11 answers

Am I crazy to consider an old 'marriage pact'?

I've been in a relationship for 3 years, waiting on a proposal. I don't know if it will materialize. Lately I've been fantasizing about an ex-boyfriend who I made a marriage pact with. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 3, 2013 - 48 answers

How can I gain perspective in my possibly red flaggy relationship?

Either one of two things has happened. (1) I've met someone I'm very compatible with who has "matching baggage" and with some patience it will work out to be a happy, healthy, sustainable relationship. OR (2) I've met someone whose issues spell trouble for me, and I may need to cut my losses but I'm not sure where to start. I'm way too close to it, and on balance so far it's definitly something I want to keep working on because I care about him a lot and like how we fit together - but I need a reality check. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 27, 2013 - 30 answers

How to not feel like shit when you can't get no satisfaction

How do I get rid of feelings of worthlessness, anxiety, and distance in my relationship that seem to occur when I'm not having sex? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 18, 2013 - 29 answers

How can I inspire my partner to be a healthy, fit person with me?

I want to be a healthy, fit person, and I want my partner to want that, too. What's the selling point? How can I convince my SO to make this change with me and notice how our generally very sedentary life is sucking the life out of our relationship? Help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 16, 2013 - 31 answers

How to bring up attitude and exes without causing another argument?

The boyfriend will take things I say in totally the wrong way, how do I explain this to him without starting another argument? And he compares me to his ex when doing this stuff...long-winded details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 16, 2013 - 36 answers

How to negotiate LDR breakup with compassion

BreakupFilter: I think it's time for me to end my LDR. I know it's going to hurt my partner, I know I can't prevent that, but I'd like to do this with as much compassion as possible. What does that look like, hive mind? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 11, 2013 - 24 answers

Is "needing space" really a thing?

How can you tell when you legitimately need to give a partner "space" and when you should just throw in the towel? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 3, 2013 - 28 answers

How to stop pining, take action, or get over it?

What should I do about the ex that haunts me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2013 - 19 answers

How to stop dwelling on my previous unpleasant relationship

I'm in a happy relationship but still have thoughts about my previous unhappy relationship. Sometimes it's worry that the current one will go sour like the previous one, and sometimes I actually wish the previous one had worked, even though it was toxic. How do I stop this and just focus on the present? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 31, 2013 - 8 answers

I would tell my BFF to DTMFA

Why am I having so much trouble leaving an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship? Or, tell me about your experience with leaving and how long it took you. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 28, 2013 - 19 answers

Stuck in the obsessive stage of a breakup.

I've plateaud in breakup recovery. What wisdom do you have? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 25, 2013 - 22 answers

How do I make up for 10 years of blowing her off?

I've been married for a few more than 10 years. For most of that time, I did not really listen to my wife or honor her goals and desires for our life together. Starting in 2012, I have made a change in my attitude and actions, and we are communicating and making significant progress in our relationship. If it were just making the current state of affairs good, I think we're on a good track and we'd be ok. My question is: How do I make up for the previous ~10 years? If you want to email: accommodatee@mail.com. Thanks in advance for any advice, here or via email. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 20, 2013 - 30 answers

How do I care less about what my girlfriend is thinking?

I'm a year and a half into my first serious relationship and it has a lot going for it. But, almost every time we now go see a movie together, or check out a concert, or go somewhere new for dinner, I spend more time worrying about rather she's having a good time than actually enjoying it myself. It's worse if it's something I picked out or suggested, and I find myself avoiding suggesting something I think I'll enjoy because I get nervous about her reaction. She has really relaxed standards for entertainment and usually enjoys what I suggest, so I know it's me and not her. Anyone have experience with dealing with this in their relationships? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 10, 2013 - 16 answers

Supporting a partner in an ongoing, arguably abusive relationship

Looking for resources for supporting a partner (and my own mental health) in an ongoing, possibly abusive relationship with a family member. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 26, 2013 - 8 answers

Time to talk, or time to move on?

Is it better to just break up with my SO, or tell them how anxious I am about moving in together? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 25, 2013 - 25 answers

How can I make my marriage work?

Need advice to sort out my marriage after a very stressful time - very extended explanation inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 12, 2013 - 15 answers

Am I a bad person trying to control my partner?

Am I a terrible person? My partner and I have been dating for 3.5 years, living together for one. In that time, he's cut off contact with two of his friends who were also significant exes. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 6, 2013 - 38 answers

Does ambivalence in a relationship = no go?

How do you deal with intense ambivalent feelings in a relationship, especially when they may be colored by a mood disorder? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 1, 2013 - 8 answers

Should I break up with my boyfriend?

I'm confused by my boyfriend's criticisms of my personality. I can't tell if they're legitimate problems I should work on in this relationship because I will encounter the same issues with most perceptive guys, or if it's a sign that he'll never fully accept who I am. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 31, 2013 - 82 answers

Can this relationship be salvaged?

Not-insignificant age gap [5 years +] in our long-term relationship: she's the older one. Can it be salvaged? I'm 28, SO is 33. We've had a great, loving, 4-year relationship. The past few months have put a heavy strain on us - work, holidays, a death in the family - this spurred her into thinking more about the future. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 28, 2013 - 63 answers

How to react to my girlfriend going back to her parent's every weekend?

So, my girlfriend is in her early 30s, as am I. We've been dating for almost a year; we're moving in together and it's overall great - but I'm starting to get irked that she leaves almost every saturday morning, and comes back almost every sunday night, to go to her parents who live in another state. I love her; and this is a silly problem; I don't want to make it one, but I'm at a loss on how to react...
posted by anonymous on Jan 27, 2013 - 35 answers

Stupid brain, stop it.

I am done with letting limerence rule my life. Tell me your stories of conquering limerence. How did you cope? Is it even really possible to say "no more limerence" if you're prone to it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 23, 2013 - 15 answers

What to do about a lack of curiosity in a relationship?

I love my girlfriend. However, she's not curious, and so we don't have discussions. I don't know what to do about it, as it's rapidly starting to affect my feelings towards her. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 21, 2013 - 85 answers

How to get an ex off the mind.

How much thinking about your ex is too much, and how do you control it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 17, 2013 - 13 answers

TIRED of being a virgin!

I'm a 20 year old girl, and I've never been in a relationship. I feel weird about that. Where do I meet guys, apart from school, and how do I get more confidence? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 17, 2013 - 19 answers

Friend has a new boyfriend - am I overreacting? Am I too jealous?

I am jealous of the fact that my good friend is hardly around because she's got a new boyfriend. Very happy for her, but am very uncomfortable with my jealousy. Need some perspective and help dealing. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 15, 2013 - 22 answers

How do I deal with the aftermath of this weird lie?

My husband lied to me in a multi-part, well crafted way, about something stupid. I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable, and I don't know where to go from here. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 11, 2013 - 48 answers

Help me hook up!

I haven't had sex in more than three years. I am going out of my freaking mind. One of my New Year's resolutions is that I must end this dry spell. I have a friend with whom I would like to start sharing some benefits. How do I go about this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 5, 2013 - 38 answers

Opposites have attracted. Now what?

How do I reconcile a basic difference between my live-in-partner and myself about recreation? One enjoys something active now and again, the other always wants something passive. What is a happy compromise? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 4, 2013 - 32 answers

Me or relationship.

How do I decide whether this relationship is worth staying and working on or leaving and working on myself? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 30, 2012 - 31 answers

Breaking up with a person when everyone's poly.

I'm looking for breakup advice. Male breaking with a female, long-distance in a poly relationship. Special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 30, 2012 - 13 answers

how to slow things down without killing the spark?

An unexpected hookup with a coworker crush at a Christmas party has opened up the possibility of a new, exciting relationship. How do I slow things down to a comfortable pace? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 25, 2012 - 10 answers

How to get over a relationship that just couldn't be?

How to get over a relationship that just couldn't be? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 25, 2012 - 11 answers

What is intimacy?

How does emotional intimacy work in your marriage/LTR? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 24, 2012 - 18 answers

How do I make my open relationship a reality?

I'm looking for practical suggestions on finding casual sex in the context of an open relationship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 19, 2012 - 19 answers

I feel like I'm in a love triangle, help me breakup with my girlfriend.

I feel like I'm in a love triangle, help me breakup with my girlfriend. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 17, 2012 - 19 answers

how to explain to a flirty friend about being monogamish?

I didn't cheat on my girlfriend but it might look like I did; I flirted with my friend but I don't want it to be emotional. What to do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 13, 2012 - 24 answers

I am depressed because I lost my girlfriend and I quit my job

Lost my girlfriend (of 18 months) and I quit my job. She thought I was not her first priority since I chose to take up a new job, I am completely depressed. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 4, 2012 - 25 answers

Jealousy from the other side.

How to deal with jealousy from other men in my open relationship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 28, 2012 - 17 answers

How can I help my friend who is verbally abusive to his partner?

My friends B and N have been together for years. They are happy together, supportive, and good people. But N is regularly verbally abusive to B, in small, sarcastic ways. It makes me (and other friends) uncomfortable. Can I do anything to help? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 25, 2012 - 40 answers

How do you get over the one that got away, and deal with the regret?

How do you get over the one that got away, and deal with the regret? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 20, 2012 - 9 answers

There's nothing wrong with this relationship, but...

There's nothing wrong with my relationship...except that I don't want to be in it anymore. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 14, 2012 - 46 answers

Mountain out of a molehill: is this great crush-guy gay?

This Question Makes Me Feel Silly: I like him, think he likes me. . .but I honestly can't tell whether or not he's gay. Need advice on how best to handle clearing this up. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 1, 2012 - 38 answers

Fork in the road

Feeling ambivalent and confused in my relationship. Please advise! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 28, 2012 - 10 answers

Should I be concerned about fiancees trivial, frivolous 'white' lies?

My fiancee is lying fairly often about trivial, frivolous things. Should I be concerned, or am I just hopelessly insecure? (special snowflake inside) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 25, 2012 - 32 answers

What happens next?

I recently met a guy at a party, and figured that we hit it off. But I have no previous experience in this area, and I'm unsure about a couple of things... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 21, 2012 - 6 answers

How to stop being so anxious when my boyfriend is experiencing financial difficulties?

How to stop being so anxious when my boyfriend is experiencing financial difficulties? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 9, 2012 - 23 answers

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