1826 posts tagged with relationship.
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¿Yo me enfrío o lo sufro?

I'm in a wonderful, loving relationship but I can't seem to stop feeling pessimistic about what our future together would look like. I'm not sure whether to stay or go and need help thinking through how to go about doing either. [more inside]
posted by deus ex machina on Sep 24, 2016 - 17 answers

Should I give in on spending money on an expensive luxury?

My wife wants to buy an expensive artwork for the house. While I also find it beautiful, I don't think it's a good idea, financially. We're at loggerheads. Help me think this through. [more inside]
posted by snarfois on Sep 23, 2016 - 91 answers

Another grieving process question

Another grieving process question: Since my dad died, I've had difficulty getting along with my mother. What's going on, and how do I make sure our relationship does not become permanently weakened? [more inside]
posted by Ziggy500 on Sep 22, 2016 - 6 answers

Is it silly to wait around for love?

You see it in the movies, two lovers split but somehow run into each other and fall in love again and are able to be together. It seems silly, but I've fallen in love and I'm not sure if it's a stupid idea to wait around for something like the movies. [more inside]
posted by buttonedup on Sep 20, 2016 - 27 answers

He loves me, but he can't open up

My partner of 2.5 years can’t talk to me about the most significant relationship of his life. I want to understand this better. [more inside]
posted by yawper on Sep 16, 2016 - 31 answers

New Careerfilter: You used to work with your SO and now you don't

I'm excited for a possible career change over the next few years. I currently work with my SO. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by 3491again on Sep 15, 2016 - 8 answers

Special pickle-themed anniversary

Remember the engagement BBQ? Well today is my and my husband's third anniversary! WOO! We joked that a third anniversary is probably the pickle anniversary and that they save all the expensive fancy stuff for the fives and tens of anniversaries. So now I want to do something special and pickle themed for him this weekend. I only have a couple days and limited means to pull this together, but in the green I trust... [more inside]
posted by PuppetMcSockerson on Sep 14, 2016 - 22 answers

How to be a good assistant coach for kids' sports

I am the assistant coach of my daughter's (8-yo) softball team. The head coach is knowledgeable about the sport, but in my opinion can be a bit too tough on the kids, several of whom have never played before. I can see the spirit being sapped in a number of the kids and I'd like to help turn that around without undermining the head coach's authority. Is it possible to help some of these girls actually enjoy their season, or am SOL if I'm just the assistant? [more inside]
posted by GorgeousPorridge on Sep 12, 2016 - 9 answers

How to know when you're truly in love?

How do you know you're in love (and willing to spend your life with someone) versus just loving someone? [more inside]
posted by Sparwasser on Aug 31, 2016 - 75 answers

To meet or not to meet? (Broken relationship edition)

I have a very ugly, troubled relationship history with "Carol." Recently she quite unexpectedly asked to meet for lunch. I do not know what to do. [more inside]
posted by I_Love_Bananas on Aug 22, 2016 - 60 answers

Getting your hair dry *and* being a good girlfriend?

This might seem like a stupid question, but how do people who have hair that requires blowdrying and have to wake up before their partners manage that? Hair care product and/or relationship tips both welcome! [more inside]
posted by blerghamot on Aug 22, 2016 - 59 answers

Worried over a disparity of feelings or worried over nothing?

Last week I decided to enter a Long Distance Relationship with a person I’ve never met in person. I like him and he likes me… but I also feel he may like me too much for a person he’s never met? Or perhaps I’m misreading him or overthinking, which I am prone to do. How do I handle this? Details within. [more inside]
posted by AdriftInSpace on Aug 20, 2016 - 32 answers

Getting rid of toxic roommate when "GTFO" isn't as easy as it sounds?

TL;DR: How do you get rid of a toxic roommate when they literally have nowhere to go, no one else willing to take them in, and no money to find a place of their own? IF it gets ugly, violent, I'll call my friend who lives in the complex and get help with immediate removal... but I don't want to make this guy homeless unless he becomes a real threat. I'm trying to think of clear ways to communicate boundaries and deadlines, such as giving X amount of time to save up deposits for a place of his own now that he has a job again. That's the kind of advice I need please. [more inside]
posted by myShanon on Aug 17, 2016 - 64 answers

I'm here to stay!

In a serious relationship. Want to do something that symbolizes our commitment to each other. Ideas? [more inside]
posted by yawper on Aug 9, 2016 - 15 answers

A big life puzzle - please help me solve it

I know you should usually just know if you should live with your partner, but I think I know, and the context has been really complicated and dramatic so hear me out! Featuring cancer x 2, a car crash, and 267 types of ear plugs. [more inside]
posted by starstarstar on Aug 8, 2016 - 13 answers

Trapped in my relationship, but its proving very difficult to end

I am in a tight spot. I know the relationship must end and have been honest about that with her, but I’m having a hard time figuring out practically what to do after this, as her reaction to my attempts to break up have been volatile. Ultimately I would like us to split and to live together long enough for her to find somewhere else to live, but from her behaviour so far, I am concerned that she is not stable enough to carry through with that plan. But I am desperate to avoid the alternatives - either escalating things to the point her family or even police are involved, which would obviously traumatise her, or with me just leaving the house with no future contact, which I feel could lead to serious depression as she has deep fears of abandonment. The latter option is also difficult as it is my parent’s home. What’s most frustrating is that, depending on her mood, she herself can see that we are not suited and need to move on. What do I do? [more inside]
posted by Troubled Man on Aug 4, 2016 - 25 answers

help me navigate my feelings & needs in an LDR

My boyfriend left less than a week ago, and I've been heartbroken ever since. Is this normal? This is my first serious relationship (I'm 25, he's 28). When we're together things are blissful and perfect. He has affirmed his commitment to me in many ways, but I feel our communication needs may be different. I am trying to understand the root of my unhappiness, as I felt so hopeful when we were together in person. I am also trying to understand whether I am cut out for an LDR in this capacity. Please help. [more inside]
posted by DayTripper on Aug 3, 2016 - 9 answers

LA Therapist Recommendation

Asking on behalf of a friend. She is looking for an East-of-downtown LA therapist, preferably a woman. My friend is specifically interested in developing stronger relationships skills and working through past relationship trauma, and would also like a therapist who understands the issues surrounding women of color.
posted by nanook on Jul 30, 2016 - 1 answer

Me vs. My husband's family

I just had a big blow up with my husband's "mother" and while he's taken my side, the more I think about it, the more it seems his story doesn't hold up, and I feel he kind of provoked the argument, but maybe not on purpose. Looking back, this seems to be a pattern. [more inside]
posted by serenity_now on Jul 30, 2016 - 55 answers

Should I go on a trip with my relatively new partner?

I've been dating a person for three months. We booked a short trip but since the booking I learned things about how he processes conflict that concern me. We've had a good conversation since then. I'm not worried for my safety, but is this trip still a good idea? [more inside]
posted by ramenopres on Jul 29, 2016 - 44 answers

A man, a girlfriend, and an ex (or two): now what?

My boyfriend is driving six hours to spend the night at an ex's place. I don't know what to do from here. More inside. [more inside]
posted by Amy93 on Jul 28, 2016 - 84 answers

I am having a genuinely difficult time getting over a breakup...

How do I move on from this breakup, considering it was such a short time? [more inside]
posted by ladykitty5 on Jul 26, 2016 - 22 answers

Staying-over etiquette in new relationship?

Specifically, where there's an imbalance between living situations - where one lives alone and has all the mod-cons, the other's in a studenty hovel crawling with housemates. [more inside]
posted by youhavedeadedme on Jul 26, 2016 - 30 answers

How to reverse relationship with work colleague

I just moved to a new team who I've worked with in the past but not a ton. I've gotten off to a rocky start with one of the people on the team and it's all on me. How do I make her make want to continue working with me? [more inside]
posted by sandmanwv on Jul 8, 2016 - 21 answers

How can I maintain a social life balance when all I want is my SO?

One of the reasons my last long-term relationship failed was because we didn't have any/many friends outside of each other. I want to avoid that in my current relationship, but unlike my last one, my current boyfriend and I love doing all the same things together so it's hard to reconcile doing things separately with friends that we'd prefer to do with each other. [more inside]
posted by majesty_snowbird on Jul 7, 2016 - 28 answers

how do couples argue successfully?

I've read that successful couples argue. How can I do this in productive way with my partner? [more inside]
posted by diode on Jul 2, 2016 - 19 answers

How to get results from unemployed spouse?

His unemployment benefits just ran out, and he likes to use the coping skill of avoidance. He clams up for conversations about money or what he is planning to do. I'm pregnant and cannot support both of us and a child without overextending myself. I want to be supportive, because historically I have lost my cool around these issues. But I also don't want to be so supportive that he isn't motivated to do everything possible to fix things. [more inside]
posted by crunchy potato on Jul 2, 2016 - 93 answers

Do I squash the seed of leaving or just let it grow?

I've been thinking a lot about my relationship. Maybe it was a mistake asking a question before, but now I can't stop thinking and debating, feeling guilty and exhausted about my relationship. Please advise for hopefully the last time I bring this up. The snowflakes are falling inside and it's a long post, sorry. [more inside]
posted by socky bottoms on Jun 30, 2016 - 35 answers

Living with an alcoholic boyfriend

I am in a pickle. My boyfriend is an alcoholic (probably the functioning kind- whatever that is,) and we live together. We have been together for almost two years. I can't stand the drinking anymore, and I have tried nearly every avenue to remedy it within the relationship. The only thing I can think to do now, is move out so that I can distance myself from his alcoholism. [more inside]
posted by Wizzow on Jun 30, 2016 - 66 answers

Getting some on the side, with permission.

My spouse has given me permission to have sex outside of our marriage, has expressed a desire for me to do so. This is not something that I have necessarily wanted to do, but I believe it is something I should consider for reasons I will explain inside. Have you or someone that you know done this? If so, what are the pitfalls? What are some good ground rules? What worked and what didn't? What should I consider before taking this step? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 28, 2016 - 19 answers

I think you need therapy...

I really want my partner to try therapy but she really doesn't want to. How do we resolve this? [more inside]
posted by myitkyina on Jun 23, 2016 - 35 answers

Say something or don’t. What to do about a crush?

When my partner and I first got to together a few years ago, one of her friends jokingly said something like “I saw you online, too but ‘Sally’ got to you first” (she was also doing the online dating thing as most of us who were single seemed to be doing at that time.) I laughed it off; she seemed to be kidding around. She – I’ll call her ‘Rebecca’ – is a member of one of my partner’s friendship circles. We’re all women in our 30s and 40s. [more inside]
posted by Lescha on Jun 23, 2016 - 34 answers

Fairness in Splitting Housing Expenses as a Couple

My fiancé is moving in with me (hooray!) and I'm trying to figure out how to split the mortgage and other things equitably. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 17, 2016 - 24 answers

Seeking to be more mature and less insecure in my marriage

We have been married for 2 years, and had a crazy amount of stressful things come our way at once. I don't have the best upbringing or modeling for the healthy relationship I strive for, but I do try. I need examples of healthy ways to think about these situations, healthy self-talk mantras I can use, and tools I can use to determine when I am being unreasonable and when I am being appropriate in my expectations. [more inside]
posted by crunchy potato on Jun 5, 2016 - 40 answers

In a relationship but feeling empty…

I am living in a country that is quite far from mine because I got a great opportunity to work here in a newspaper. I’ve been dating a man for a year. I have feelings for him and know that he does for me too. However, I often feel shallow and full of doubts about our relationship. The first reason is that I cannot share a lot of my interests and ideas with him. I have a strong intellectual side. I like to read, discuss ideas, and learn stuff. My boyfriend is only interested in discussing gadgets, fashion, sports, and computers. I don’t mind these topics but I like more ‘intellectual’ things as well and I don’t like not being able to share them with him. I have also found out that some of his opinions are quite conservative and it bothers me because I am very liberal. [more inside]
posted by Fromthesouth on May 31, 2016 - 23 answers

Starting a relationship with someone who's in a bad place

I met someone on OKCupid about a week ago and we really hit it off. We've been chatting on Facebook and Skype for around 6 hours every day which I've never done with anyone before. We've never met in person because she lives about 2 hours away, but things seemed to be heading somewhere serious. She's in a horrible situation right now though. She's from another country and she basically has no money and no income. [more inside]
posted by Chenko on May 31, 2016 - 25 answers

Dissecting anxiety in a relationship

So I'm in a new relationship. Two months. He's great! Yay! But some subtle things have turned me into a neurotic mess, and now I'm having a hard time differentiating between irrational neurotic anxiety and actual concerns that I'm brushing off as a result of an anxiety disorder. [more inside]
posted by Amy93 on May 18, 2016 - 15 answers

Ex's grandma just passed away. Should I text him?

I was dating this 23-yo guy for about 5 months but we were never official. We broke up in March because I wanted the relationship to progress and he didn't. Since then, we still continue to talk and we hang out as friends about once a month. He knows that I want us to get back together since I've initiated us hanging out the past few times. He's told me he enjoys my company and he's considering giving us another chance. The last time we met, he told me he'd text me when he's done with his final exams so we can meet up. I just found out through FB that his grandmother just passed away. I never got to meet any of his family but he has talked about them before. Would it be okay if I send a text sharing my condolence? I really do feel bad for him. Or should I just wait and see if he texts me to meet up and then tell him in person?
posted by missybitsy on May 16, 2016 - 29 answers

Suddenly long distance, suddenly panicked

Our relationship is really great by any measure and makes me very happy... but now we're apart for the summer, and I'm stuck in obsessive anxiety about my feelings. Help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 16, 2016 - 6 answers

He didn't forget my birthday, but it feels like it

My boyfriend didn't say happy birthday to me, which I'm convincing myself is not that big of a deal, but I don't know why it's annoying me so much. More details inside. [more inside]
posted by socky bottoms on May 10, 2016 - 120 answers

Short relationship and he asked for space to think about things

I feel pretty upset that this guy I've been dating for 1.5 months (and known for longer) has suddenly decided he needs space while I was away. He has every right to choose to stop seeing me but we see each other frequently in our social circle and where he works/works out at and will continue to for another 3 months, so I told him I would like to talk to him about it in person. [more inside]
posted by korrasamus on May 10, 2016 - 18 answers

How do you teach boundaries and respect?

Is it possible to teach an adult how to be considerate and respect boundaries? If a child grows up without boundaries, is it impossible to learn? [more inside]
posted by serenity_now on May 9, 2016 - 29 answers

Rebuilding trust in my relationship

How can I stop beating myself up for experiencing insecurity? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 9, 2016 - 12 answers

How to listen without offering solutions?

I'm in a relationship for the first time in a few years. When my girlfriend comes to me with problems or things that are bothering her, I'm intellectually aware that she's not looking for solutions or fixes unless she asks, she's looking for understanding and empathy. However, I'm just not practiced providing that kind of emotional support and often find myself at a loss for words. How do I do it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 7, 2016 - 35 answers

Help me understand the end of my relationship with a trauma survivor

I'm still trying to make sense of how a man with PTSD/trauma survivor I dated broke things off with me. Looking for insights and resources about the psychology of someone who has gone through hell and come out the other side and how that affects their ability to have a relationship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 7, 2016 - 24 answers

Major Relationship Issue- How to Control My Resentment?

I'm currently harboring a lot of resentment towards my girlfriend. Her brother is a molester and she's unsure of what to do about it, and she has cancelled our wedding due to being unsure and afraid of losing the rest of her family. I have no idea what to do or where to turn, how can I stop feeling resentful? [more inside]
posted by Firestorm 2018 on May 7, 2016 - 45 answers

Need advice on helping my wife cope with her best friend moving away

My wife just learned her best friend is moving to a different city and is now very sad. How can I help? [more inside]
posted by glenngulia on May 5, 2016 - 7 answers

Clarifying a breakup over email- good or bad idea?

I broke up with my boyfriend of two years two days ago (on Skype, since it was a long distance relationship). I'm horrible at expressing my thoughts and emotions in person/by voice, especially when I'm upset, so the Skype breakup involved a lot of crying and me not being able to answer his questions properly. It was really horrible and I feel terrible. My question is, now that I've had a couple days to calm down and think more clearly--would it be okay to send him a single email that more coherently says everything that I want to say, but didn't get to say? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 4, 2016 - 22 answers

Married but interested in younger/beautiful girls

I have been married with an older woman for about 4 years and now I have developed interests towards younger girls. [more inside]
posted by wondering_man on May 4, 2016 - 52 answers

Not another narcissist? (covert)

I recently started dating a guy who seems great in a lot of ways, but a friend recently suggested he might be a "covert narcissist". Both of my previous relationships have been with overt narcissists and ended pretty badly, so naturally I'm not happy to hear this but am willing to consider it a possibility. [more inside]
posted by seraph9 on May 2, 2016 - 19 answers

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