1780 posts tagged with relationship.
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Need advice on helping my wife cope with her best friend moving away

My wife just learned her best friend is moving to a different city and is now very sad. How can I help? [more inside]
posted by glenngulia on May 5, 2016 - 6 answers

Clarifying a breakup over email- good or bad idea?

I broke up with my boyfriend of two years two days ago (on Skype, since it was a long distance relationship). I'm horrible at expressing my thoughts and emotions in person/by voice, especially when I'm upset, so the Skype breakup involved a lot of crying and me not being able to answer his questions properly. It was really horrible and I feel terrible. My question is, now that I've had a couple days to calm down and think more clearly--would it be okay to send him a single email that more coherently says everything that I want to say, but didn't get to say? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 4, 2016 - 22 answers

Married but interested in younger/beautiful girls

I have been married with an older woman for about 4 years and now I have developed interests towards younger girls. [more inside]
posted by wondering_man on May 4, 2016 - 52 answers

Not another narcissist? (covert)

I recently started dating a guy who seems great in a lot of ways, but a friend recently suggested he might be a "covert narcissist". Both of my previous relationships have been with overt narcissists and ended pretty badly, so naturally I'm not happy to hear this but am willing to consider it a possibility. [more inside]
posted by seraph9 on May 2, 2016 - 19 answers

New relationship - how can I learn to chill the *&#! out?

So, I'm in a new relationship, we've been together about 2 months. Although I liked him from the beginning, he was slightly keener and always the one arranging dates, etc. I told him I was a slow burner, he was ok with that and happy to go my pace. [more inside]
posted by Britchick35 on May 2, 2016 - 9 answers

Is she too young for me?

I am a 36 year old guy who has gotten out of a divorce about a year ago. I have known this girl since approx 5 years, but not very closely for most of that period. She is 22 now. She told me some time back that she has a huge crush on me and wants, at the very least, some sort of a fling with me. I am not sure how to respond because of background and some practical challenges. [more inside]
posted by questionsquestions on Apr 28, 2016 - 88 answers

Contact between dates

I've been seeing a great guy. All of his behavior indicates that he's interested in me... except he's almost stopped initiating contact in the past week. I'm anxious as hell about this. I need help figuring out what this could be and how to approach it, if at all. [more inside]
posted by Amy93 on Apr 26, 2016 - 16 answers

Leaving 1 year old for a week with grandparents, good or bad idea?

Our daughter will turn 1 in August, and we have been invited to a friend's wedding in Italy (we are in the US), so we would need about 7-9 days. We normally take her with us on travels, but it's too much of a long travel flight time for her as she hasn't been on a plane yet, so bringing her is out of the question. We did want to go on a vacation just us two after her 1 year so it kind of works out perfectly. But, I'm afraid now that the time is come that she is too young, and that it will be too hard on her (and me), and I feel a tiny bit guilty leaving her. We could really use a vacation to relax and reconnect. My mother (her grandmother) is her caretaker during the week because we both work full time, so they are very comfortable with one another and I trust her completely. Has anyone traveled that long without your baby, how did it turn out?
posted by MamaBee223 on Apr 26, 2016 - 27 answers

How to cope with a spouse's abusive parent's suicide?

My beloved spouse's extremely abusive [estranged] father killed himself about a month ago. They're having a hard time coping, and me too. I don't know how to support them and to cope with their limited functional ability in our relationship and in life in general. I'm looking for resources to help me with this. [more inside]
posted by gloraelin on Apr 26, 2016 - 7 answers

New relationship good practices

Please give me your best practices for starting a relationship off on the right foot. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 13, 2016 - 10 answers

Does this email have romantic overtones?

My partner and I have minor trust issues to deal with. He had an email exchange with an old ex- that I asked to read and have mixed feelings about and I'd like to hear your outside unbiased perceptions of it. [more inside]
posted by miaow on Apr 12, 2016 - 39 answers

New "relationship" moving too fast

I started seeing this guy 2.5 weeks ago. He's great. We click really well, he's incredibly nice and funny and sweet and all else. But in that time we've gone from just meeting to knowing a ton of intimate details about each other's lives (mental health problems, his father's alcoholism, his sister's self-harm) and cuddling and kissing at his place for eight hours straight. It's not like it's horribly unreasonable but I'm overwhelmed and scared and need help setting limits/managing my emotions. [more inside]
posted by Amy93 on Apr 9, 2016 - 20 answers

I miss my old life, pre-baby & feel extremely guilty...is this normal?

Nobody can prepare you for motherhood, nobody can even come close to describing the joys, sadness and all other mixes of emotions that come with adding a new life to your family. And nobody really shared the struggles or "not so pretty" side to motherhood, so with my feelings of yearning for my old life I feel so guilty that I haven't embraced this new life with an open heart and arms...are these feelings normal? Do mothers and fathers roles cause resentment, because there is inevitibly more responsiblity on the mothers (by nature to nurture if that makes sense)? How do you maintain a relationship with your SO when life seems to be so seperate now that a baby has arrived? A lot of the fun we had together is now seperate. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 8, 2016 - 40 answers

Was my ex a narcissist?

I just emerged from a relationship of several months which I have since realized was emotionally abusive. In attempting to understand it I have come to think that maybe she had NPD, but I don't know whether this is an accurate characterization. [more inside]
posted by myitkyina on Apr 4, 2016 - 25 answers

How do I stop lashing out?

I have a very destructive pattern in most of my relationships and friendships. The closer the relationship is, the worse it gets. I can usually always maintain composure at work but personal life is another story. After I lash out, I say so many nasty and hurtful things that the friendship/relationship is irrecoverably damaged or ends all together. How to change this? [more inside]
posted by sockiety on Apr 3, 2016 - 17 answers

wanting to want me ain't the real thing

Help me define and communicate my own needs with my sporadically emotionally unavailable new girlfriend. [more inside]
posted by missmary6 on Mar 29, 2016 - 16 answers

Is my anxiety ruining things or is something really off (dating)?

About a month ago I started seeing a guy with whom I felt an instant spark (very rare for me). Almost immediately my anxiety kicked in and I started worrying that he wouldn't like me, was taking days to return my emails, etc. Then he told me he really likes me and my anxiety switched around to maybe I don't like him and almost compulsively looking for flaws / red flags. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 28, 2016 - 10 answers

Gottman Institute couples' weekend workshop - worth it?

My wife and I are thinking of signing up for one of the Gottman Institute's weekend couples' workshops in Seattle. We're wondering if it's worth the $800 price tag, or if we could put the time and money to better use in terms of helping our marriage. [more inside]
posted by El Curioso on Mar 28, 2016 - 9 answers

I am not my type's type

I keep being envious of women that have sparkling, bubbly, fun, energetic and confident personalities. Nearly every guy I ever liked has ended up falling head over heels for a woman like that. Details below the fold.... [more inside]
posted by sockiety on Mar 15, 2016 - 20 answers

Relationship mess. Is walking the only reasonable option?

I really don't know what to do. My partner keeps lying. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 14, 2016 - 102 answers

Effectively communicating my feeling neglected

My boyfriend a few months ago started a new job in my home country. He has never worked overseas before, and the nature of the new job and the cultural differences are making it really difficult for him, taking up a lot of his time and mental space. I am feeling neglected. I want to communicate this without stressing him out more than he already is. [more inside]
posted by milque on Mar 14, 2016 - 25 answers

Who am I?

I'm 28 and my life is a mess and I don't know where to start fixing it. A big part of the problem is that I don't feel like I have any sense of who I am. How can I find out? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 11, 2016 - 18 answers

Should I have a fling or continue my not-quite-vow of celibacy ?

I have met a man who I think *may* be open to this & who is moving in 2 months - but I recently promised myself no casual sex/relationship only. What would you do? [more inside]
posted by Ariel432 on Mar 10, 2016 - 26 answers

How to start difficult relationship conversations

I need to talk to my boyfriend about some issues in our relationship, but I'm notoriously bad at confrontation and I never know how to start the conversation. It doesn't help that from my perspective it feels like I have a bunch of complaints without solutions (other than "stop doing that"). I want the conversation to be fair and effective. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 7, 2016 - 13 answers

My mom found my brother's adderall tablets

My mom found adderall tablets in my brother's pencil case and under the couch. My brother flat out denies he takes drugs and is violent when anyone confronts him about it. What can I do? [more inside]
posted by raintree on Mar 6, 2016 - 16 answers

My boyfriend is not good-on-paper. Do such relationships ever work?

I’m crazy about my boyfriend of 7 months (it hurts when we are apart!), but he has some traits to his personality that might make him difficult to live with long term. While lurking on AskMe for quite some time now, trying to find solutions to some of our problems, I see a lot of responses such as “dump him, you will find someone with all these good qualities, who also treats you right in other ways.” I’m sure there’s truth to that, but I’m 38 (he is 39) and last time I was in love I was 20. Love doesn’t come around all that often for me. [more inside]
posted by LakeDream on Mar 6, 2016 - 85 answers

Coming to terms with a messy breakup

This relationship destroyed me. I feel that, after having given a lot, I was led on. But now I don't know whether I was wrong to feel this way... [more inside]
posted by myitkyina on Mar 6, 2016 - 24 answers

Help me get along with my bf's perfectly decent family

I (F, early 30s) have been together with my bf (mid 30s) for 2 years and have spent many a weekend together with his family. They are always really nice and welcoming to me and yet I still don't feel comfortable around them because of: difference in family background (his family is extremely close-knit and generally happy, mine is a painful emotional mess), my own tendency to feel like an outsider, my not really liking who he is when around his family, and my not-entirely-baseless insecurity about him always choosing his family over me (more explanation about the last two inside). My questions: 1. How can I learn to be more comfortable around his family? I am interested mainly in advice on how I can manage my insecurity about him always choosing his family over me. 2. Is there any point of doing (1) at all or are we just incompatible? [more inside]
posted by thecampushippo on Feb 28, 2016 - 24 answers

Crazy, creative ideas for bedrest AKA solitary confinement

Week two of horrendous bronchitis during which I decided to go NC (until yesterday) with long-time (ex?)boyfriend/co-dependent partner in dysfunction. Broke NC yesterday after five days straight of MD-ordered bedrest - and after texting and calling everyone I knew, including my grandma - twice. Any practical tangible ideas for how to maintain NC and my sanity, oh and I don't know, my health? Any and all welcome. Thanks. [more inside]
posted by asmith30 on Feb 25, 2016 - 11 answers

Are we self-sabotaging or is it the right thing?

My girlfriend of 4 years and I have recently started having some very matter of fact conversations about our relationship. We're each sort of wondering if it's got 'too serious' for this point in our lives. Put briefly, does this make any sense? Or are we just sabotaging something that's otherwise fine? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 22, 2016 - 12 answers

A rock, a hard place, and OKCupid.

We've been together for a long time and long distance might open us up. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 12, 2016 - 75 answers

How do I find out how this person feels about me?

I am confused about how someone is feeling towards me, and don't know how to get out of this ambiguous situation, but desperately need to. Please help. [more inside]
posted by muppets on Feb 12, 2016 - 25 answers

Stop my brain from third wheeling!

I really have no reason to be anxious in this relationship, but it comes along anyways, as anxiety does... but how can I start to disentangle myself from it so I can enjoy myself more? [more inside]
posted by myitkyina on Feb 10, 2016 - 5 answers

Should I Date a Younger Man?

A few weeks ago I started seeing a guy I am now completely smitten with. We met through mutual friends and it started out as a drunk hookup (hah), but the following weekend I saw him again in a sober hang out context, and we ended up both canceling our evening plans and talking well into the night. I didn’t expect to have such an intense and wonderful connection with him. I feel like he is alive in the same way that I am. We can talk about anything, and we spend a lot of time just laughing about nonsense. Like I said, we’ve only been seeing each other for a few weeks, but I already feel like he could be someone who is very very special in my life. [more inside]
posted by alipie on Feb 8, 2016 - 48 answers

A bird and a fish may love each other....

I think my living space is making me miserable. How can I figure it out and how do I cope in the meantime? [more inside]
posted by chara on Feb 1, 2016 - 30 answers

How do I deal with external hate influencing my relationship?

I'm a turban wearing sikh. I'm in a relationship with an American. The hate directed our way is making me question the sustainable happiness of this relationship. How do I proceed? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 28, 2016 - 35 answers

Do I wait for things to get better or is it a bad fit?

I've been in a relationship for 7 months with a person who I'm incredibly charmed by, but makes me feel lonely when he's inconsistent in his pursuit of me. I've made excuses for his traveling for work, his creative brain, our cultural differences and his hurts from his previous broken engagement. Some things that just seem normal to me - romantic gestures (surprises, flowers, notes) and consistent communication - seem difficult for him. He says that he loves me. Are my expectations unreasonable or is he emotionally immature? [more inside]
posted by orangesky4 on Jan 27, 2016 - 46 answers

How do I navigate the break-up with my first and only love (at age 30)

After having gone through cancer and mental illness together, the love of my life and I are on the verge of splitting up for good. How can I best try to salvage the relationship? Details below. [more inside]
posted by asmith30 on Jan 27, 2016 - 35 answers

Like a funeral, but for my ex, who isn't dead.

Months ago, I broke up with someone I was with for 7 years, under very sad no-one's-fault circumstances. I still love him and miss him like crazy. The sadness comes and goes. I think about him every day. I'd like to draw a line and move on and think it would help it I can decisively mark The End on that chapter of my life. I'm looking for ideas for how to make that mark. Some kind of ritual or ceremony. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 22, 2016 - 14 answers

If a guy isn't ready to commit to me, should I give him time?

I've been seeing a 23 yo guy for 3 months and been on about 14-16 dates. We haven't been intimate yet and he hasn't tried. He tells me he likes me and he's looking for a relationship. When I brought up the "what are we" conversation, he tells me he isn't sure if he's ready to commit. His reason is that he'd like to spend more time together and it's been hard since we're both busy with school and we see each other about once per week. I'm at the point where I'm starting to like him a lot and I'm just wondering if I should stick around or MOA. If I do stick around, what can I do to help him decide?
posted by missybitsy on Jan 19, 2016 - 25 answers

Romance and uncertainty part two

I have clarified some of my feelings and done some self-work on this relationship, but I'm having trouble trusting myself and my insights. [more inside]
posted by myitkyina on Jan 18, 2016 - 10 answers

Should I intervene in my brother's relationship? How?

My brother is behaving in ways that I consider emotionally abusive towards his long-term partner. She's on the cusp of moving across the country to be with him under questionable circumstances. I'm very alarmed by the patterns I'm picking up. What on Earth do I do, if anything? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 16, 2016 - 17 answers

He is pulling away - what should I do?

I have been getting to know someone over the past six weeks but he has been slowly pulling away over the last couple (i.e. lesser communication and dates). There are a few factors involved including him not knowing if he is ready for a serious relationship (it has been 2 years since his divorce), close family member being diagnosed of an illness and busy workload. Is there anything for me to do apart from being supportive, giving him space and waiting for him to sort things out? Thanks in advance. [more inside]
posted by sara479 on Jan 12, 2016 - 17 answers

Wait, you like me? Why?

I have developed a sort of uncertain romantic situation with a girl at my college. It's really the first time that I've been close to anyone in this way, or at all, and I am afraid that my self-hatred and self-absorption is getting in the way of a proper human relationship, as friends or otherwise. [more inside]
posted by myitkyina on Jan 9, 2016 - 13 answers

Letting go of narcissist-ish ex

Need help on moving on from a relationship with someone who has acted toward me with what feels like overwhelming condescension and anger. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 24, 2015 - 17 answers

How do I Progress A Relationship With A Fear Of Loss?

I have recently started a relationship with a wonderful person but I realise now that I'm stifling its progress due to a fear of loss and I'd like some advice on how to stop doing this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 18, 2015 - 15 answers

TERF conversion.

So we had our second big argument. This one ended with her tears and a walkout, and my continued confusion. At issue seems to be: she might be a TERF. I never used that word, but I kept asking her to clarify what she was saying, because all I kept hearing was that hormones are bad, and therefor transitioning is bad. [more inside]
posted by special agent conrad uno on Dec 18, 2015 - 50 answers

How to talk about merging finances?

My relationship with my partner has become 'real' enough that I want to start the conversation about merging finances. However, I don't want us to just hack together a plan- is there a guide of any sort for how a young couple should start this process? [more inside]
posted by tumbleweedjack on Dec 17, 2015 - 11 answers

Navigating a relationship-turned-friendship

I was dating someone that I really liked and now he just wants to be friends. Help me navigate this. I am probably way overthinking it. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by Amy93 on Dec 12, 2015 - 34 answers

What's that quote about relationships ending/marriages being lost?

I read (somewhere?) a quote by someone (an author? poet?) that when a relationship (marriage?) ends, a little language shared by the two is lost. I've googled all sorts of combinations of these words and cannot find it. Did I hallucinate this? Thanks!
posted by Brian Puccio on Dec 12, 2015 - 3 answers

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