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1571 posts tagged with relationship.
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How can I develop emotional resilience, in a teaching context?

As a graduate teacher assigned to a difficult class, I felt like the students were personally attacking me. The general advice given to me was "Don't let it get to you" or even "Don't let it show if it does". How do you do that? More info inside. [more inside]
posted by tworedshoes on Oct 21, 2014 - 4 answers

Am I over-reacting and over-sensitive

I'm feeling extremely vulnerable, frustrated and upset. My husband and I don't communicate well. While I try to talk to him he's most definitely a 'man's man' and if I get upset about things he says I need to 'get a grip on myself' etc. (further info inside - sorry for the long post) [more inside]
posted by Flowerpower on Oct 18, 2014 - 56 answers

Is it possible to become just friends after a one night stand?

Do you think two mature adults can transition into friends after a night of passion/have you ever done it? [more inside]
posted by Kat_Dubs on Oct 18, 2014 - 20 answers

I am freaking out majorly over a new relationship. Help!!!

I just started dating this new guy about 5 weeks ago, and we just became exclusive. I am now freaking out about everything and need to get a handle. I don't know what's going on here. Help? [more inside]
posted by anon1129 on Oct 15, 2014 - 10 answers

Resources and Research on Talking to Overwhelmed Kids

As a teacher, I regularly have contact with kids who are feeling some very strong emotions. Many of these children are coming to terms with a separation or divorce in their families. So I’m hoping that the hivemind can help me find resources about how to talk to kids about their emotions, and especially what to do when they seem flooded. [more inside]
posted by guster4lovers on Oct 5, 2014 - 6 answers

Well this is a whole new kind of horrible

My wonderful relationship is over; it's ending with love and kindness on both sides and is as amicable a break-up as I could imagine. But it's so, so much more awful than I thought it would be, please help me figure out how to keep it together. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 29, 2014 - 25 answers

Plan to move to across the country for love. How do I tell my parents?

Since having a manic episode about a year and a half ago, my parents started treating me like I was a minor again (I'm almost 30 now). How do I most respectfully tell them that I'm am going to move without turning it into "I'M NOT ASKING FOR PERMISSION, DAMMIT: I'M MOVING AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME"? Thanks, mefites. [more inside]
posted by defmute on Sep 25, 2014 - 33 answers

Please tell me how to get through this breakup with sanity intact

I went through a breakup this summer and the mental aftermath has put me in a very bad place. Please help me find peace and perspective. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 20, 2014 - 9 answers

Moving-In Nerves

So my boyfriend and I are moving in together next month. Needless to say, the pitfalls and potential problems make me nervous (neither of us have lived with a long-term partner; he's 31, I'm 26F, been together almost 2 years). What I need now are reminders of why this is a good idea: tips, anecdotes, rituals. What makes living with your partner a positive and special thing? I'm looking for what TO do, rather than what NOT to do.
posted by brynna on Sep 20, 2014 - 24 answers

On to the next chapter, onward and upward!

So I'm moving and getting roommates, any advice from the green on how to move forward with my life? [more inside]
posted by lunastellasol on Sep 19, 2014 - 13 answers

So I met my online friend in real life! What are these mixed emotions?

I met an online friend of about 10 years today in person and feel oddly emotional. What just happened? [more inside]
posted by Kat_Dubs on Sep 15, 2014 - 12 answers

Is it possible to be with someone who has friends you cannot stand?

Is it possible to be in a relationship with someone who has friends you cannot stand, especially if one of them is female? [more inside]
posted by Fayrose on Sep 10, 2014 - 27 answers

Relationship plagued by fear/anxiety or is it just bad fit?

How is it possible to feel anxious and questioning most of the time, but also feel genuine moments of excitement to see him and genuine calm/happiness to be in his presence? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 9, 2014 - 29 answers

Why is it so hard to find a women interested in long-term relationship?

I'm a male in my late 20's who's having trouble finding a woman to settle down with. I keep getting attracted to/and attracting women who are either not interested in serious relationships (only casual/physical relationships) or have some self-esteem issues/other problems that makes them very unstable/emotionally fluctuating. I wouldn't describe myself as overly attractive (very average looks and slim build) or promiscuous, so I'm kind of puzzled by how and why these women feel attracted to me. [more inside]
posted by kampken on Sep 6, 2014 - 32 answers

Marriage Discussion in Long Term Relationship

How would you bring up discussion of marriage without scaring your partner or making them feel pressured? [more inside]
posted by Asian_Hunnie on Sep 4, 2014 - 18 answers

So . . . what is a "playdate", anyway?

What is a playdate, anyway? Is it a social occasion where parents hang out together while their kids play together in close proximity? And how did this pattern emerge? do people in other countries do this or is it mainly an American thing? [more inside]
posted by jason's_planet on Aug 31, 2014 - 28 answers

Thinking about others until it's inconvenient

Help me form a strategy for reaching out to people I have met and want to know better. I need a new one to help me search for work, but I have difficulty working with specific sorts of strategies for general sorts of problems, so I'd like to avoid making it about job hunting exactly. More about how to think of people in a way that accounts for my own interests while still thinking of them and not myself. [more inside]
posted by LogicalDash on Aug 29, 2014 - 4 answers

Help me prevent parental visit from turning into an apocalyptic event

Emotionally abusive parents are coming to visit. Difficulty level: boyfriend introduction. How do I deal with the fallout? [more inside]
posted by phoenix_rising on Aug 29, 2014 - 67 answers

I would like the hive's insights on 'going too fast' in a relationship.

I met a chap in July, and am now entirely done with dating unless widowed early. I would probably benefit from advice on relationships that go through the usual relationship stages at a rapid pace. With kid in tow. Assume 'don't do that' is not going to happen. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 28, 2014 - 19 answers

Moving in?

Boyfriend of 1.5 years and I considering joining homes. Some extenuating circumstances... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 20, 2014 - 17 answers

Is he a narcissist, or just very self-centred?

I've been dating a guy (30) for half a year, and though I am blinded by love, I'm starting to see signs that he could be narcissistic, but am not sure. [more inside]
posted by palomago on Aug 18, 2014 - 44 answers

Best resources/tools for relationship communication

My husband and I, as any couple, have communication issues. We'd love some books, online resources, and even therapy recommendations for us! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 14, 2014 - 14 answers

How to best support my partner who wants help w/ shame & addiction?

My partner has been wrestling with alcohol and sexual shame for a long time. This week, he confided in me that he wants to seek help based upon a boundary I set for myself, that he does not want to live like this anymore. I don't want to "over-help" or engage in any co-dependent behavior and I want to be a loving partner in this. But I also need to protect myself and our kids. What can I do or what should I avoid? Specifics inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 14, 2014 - 11 answers

relationship problems rising from facebook

I have been with my girlfriend since 5 months ago. Since the beginning we became friends on facebook. I love and trust her and have not seen anything suspicious from her. The only thing that got me a little worried was that on two occasions she told me that she kind of still cared about her ex boyfriend who she broke up with two years ago. When she saw that I got offended she told me that I do not need to worry because the feeling she has for him, is like a mother-child feeling. [more inside]
posted by mbn1455 on Aug 13, 2014 - 32 answers

How to adjust my negative expectation of relationships

I grew up witnessing my parents' verbally abusive marriage. They are combative and insulting toward each other. Also, my mom has always blamed her marriage and kids for her stalled career and other unhappiness in her life. When I think of having a relationship, I automatically feel like it will drag me down and make my life worse. I've come to understand over the years that others actually think of a relationship as a safety net and source of comfort. I want to think of them that way too. How can I adjust my mentality? [more inside]
posted by vienna on Aug 13, 2014 - 16 answers

How to get over someone who left you for someone else?

How I get over my ex who left me for someone else? [more inside]
posted by Parh6512 on Aug 12, 2014 - 17 answers

What are some activities/dates I can do to boost confidence?

I haven't been feeling so confident lately. I know my SO could also be much happier if she felt a bit more confident. When we first met around 3 years ago, we were both extremely confident. Now we seem to have trouble being decisive, making decisions to better ourselves/get necessary things done, and choosing a restaurant or a date idea gets harder and harder. I would love ideas of things that could help with this. [more inside]
posted by bbqturtle on Aug 11, 2014 - 26 answers

Break-up apps that keep you from looking at exes on Facebook/Instagram?

Does anyone know of an app (or apps) that block you from looking at a particular Facebook page, or a particular Instagram feed? I've heard of Break-up Apps that recently have come about where you can 'erase' someone's photos, tags, etc. from your Facebook, as if they were never there, and I also know of chrome extensions which block you from a site altogether, but I can't find a good app that blocks only a particular PAGE on the site (i.e. www.facebook.com/ex'susername). I would like to be able to continue being 'Facebook Friends' with an ex, as not doing so will be disruptive. I also need to use Facebook for my job. I've already blocked them from appearing on my newsfeed and in chat, but I can't seem to stop myself from, fairly regularly, checking their Facebook page, or their Instagram feed. Any good solutions you've seen online? If not, I may have to team up with a programmer to create one because I think it'd be a very useful service! I sure could use it ASAP.
posted by anonymous on Aug 2, 2014 - 4 answers

Should I break up with my gf while I work on resolving my addiction?

I started dating my girlfriend six months ago. Since that time, I have gradually taken more of my stimulant medication than prescribed. I have told her on multiple occasions about the overuse of my stimulant medication and that recently it had gotten worse. Earlier tonight she told me that she is starting to distance herself from me and that she needs some extra space to protect herself [from being around someone with addictive behavior]. Her brother had a drug problem and she understands how emotionally draining it can be to have an addict in her life. What is the mature thing to do in this situation? Do I wait for her to potentially break up with me? Do I ask her for a break while I work on things? Do I just want to ask for a break to save myself from the pain of her breaking up with me first? I love her and I want her to be a part of my life but I don't want her to be consumed by my addiction while I get help. Please help.
posted by anonymous on Jul 23, 2014 - 15 answers

What conversations should we have before living in sin?

Dear hive mind, please suggest items for a checklist of issues/expectations/questions to discuss with my significant other before we shack up next month! I was reading this question and saw that many people felt that they would never move in with a partner before discussing their finances with a certain level of detail. I would love to know what other rules of thumb people have about establishing a mutual understanding, financially, emotionally, housework-wise, etc. before cohabiting. Possibly relevant details inside. [more inside]
posted by erstwhile ungulate on Jul 17, 2014 - 30 answers

How do you get out of being upset/reconnecting after a fight

I find myself spiraling down in negative emotions occasionally and want to learn about actual skills to pull myself out before the fight gets meta and out of hand. [more inside]
posted by monologish on Jul 17, 2014 - 13 answers

Help me find perspective, is my relationship half-full or half-empty?

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 3 years now, but it seems like we can't seem to find a good "groove". We're satisfied in the relationship for a while and then we get into petty fights and don't resolve them. I thought I was happy with him and really enjoyed his company. However, it's been more and more stressful and I need help figuring out if I've checked out for a while, or if the relationship has run its course. Hope me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 14, 2014 - 17 answers

Love songs for married couples?

Songs about long-term, developed love - not butterflies. [more inside]
posted by ohsnapdragon on Jul 11, 2014 - 78 answers

Sensual, not sexual

In a new friendship/relationship. Help us explore our sensual sides without sex! Possibly mild NSFW details inside. [more inside]
posted by Beaker's stripey socks on Jul 10, 2014 - 24 answers

I want to apologize like a BOSS

I was a bonehead and ruined my SO's morning; help me think of how to make it up to him! [more inside]
posted by like_a_friend on Jul 3, 2014 - 46 answers

Should I tell hubby about my poor behavior?

About 15 years ago I behaved badly. Should I tell my husband about it? Ordinarily I'd say no, it's in the past. But there are some complicating factors. Help me figure out what to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 29, 2014 - 29 answers

He keeps on flaking.

Today he forgot about our date, and i am really upset because it shows that he doesn't like me right? I would love to see him more regularly, but it isn't happening. At the beginning of our relationship we were both a bit nervous and getting to know eachother, but the last couple of times have been great and we really connected on a deeper level, which is why i still want to see him, but not sure if it is worth it if he flakes. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by aivilo91 on Jun 21, 2014 - 48 answers

Transitioning to a long distance relationship

My husband will be moving from where we live in the NYC area to Boston for work for a minimum of three to five years and I'll be staying here. I'm looking for suggestions on how to transition to a long distance relationship and then how to maintain it. Best practices, things that worked, things that didn't work, and any ideas for how to survive a difficult transition. [more inside]
posted by sciencegeek on Jun 21, 2014 - 19 answers

Remind me to never have a random hookup…

About a month ago, I hooked up with a classmate that I had met earlier in the semester. There had been a lot of tension between us since the beginning of the year, and it finally happened the last week of the semester. It was a Big Thing for me because it was the first time I had hooked up with a guy and outwardly acknowledged my bisexuality. It was great, but then the semester ended and we both went back to our respective hometowns for the summer. More details and questions inside... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 19, 2014 - 10 answers

Can I ask her what I should wear?

I have been invited to lunch on my first day at a mid-sized federal agency by a fellow analyst. What should we talk about? [more inside]
posted by inevitability on Jun 10, 2014 - 10 answers

Should I continue pursuing her?

Basically, there is this girl I really really like, and there are a few things that tell me that the feelings are mutual. But she has already told me... twice... That she just wants to be friends with me. The way she acts with me doesn't match what she says though. [more inside]
posted by AbePlaysGuitar on Jun 10, 2014 - 74 answers

Is history repeating itself?

Boyfriend has a history of commitment issues. Am I letting the past affect my future? [more inside]
posted by askme on Jun 6, 2014 - 45 answers

Help me phrase this effectively.

Can you help me apologize to my boyfriend, and convince him to attend a wedding I can't go to? He doesn't think he wants to go without me, but I know (from experience) that he would have a blast. Complication: My reasons for not attending might not be clear to him. [more inside]
posted by janey47 on Jun 4, 2014 - 35 answers

How to deal with sexual jealousy in a relationship?

My boyfriend sometimes expresses sexual attraction to other girls when he's with me and I'm wondering if a) his actions are reasonable, b) my reaction to this is reasonable or c) if there are underlying issues behind this that need to be addressed. [more inside]
posted by sweetshine on Jun 2, 2014 - 72 answers

Should I end my relationship?

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years. I've always wondered if I was settling but ignored those feelings. For the past year I've seriously been thinking about ending it but have been so ambivalent. I broke up once with him last year but decided to go back after 1 week and see if it would work. I'm still having doubts. Should I just end it? [more inside]
posted by Satsue on May 31, 2014 - 34 answers

Me cry, he yell.

My partner gets angry when I cry sometimes and I don't understand why. [more inside]
posted by gumtree on May 29, 2014 - 35 answers

What, specifically changes as your relationship goes on?

OK people who have been in long term relationships (for our purposes 5 or more years, but the more years the better): How did/has your relationship change/d over time? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 29, 2014 - 11 answers

MeFiting

I'm trying to learn more about the phenomenon of meta-fighting between romantic partners. I don't know if there's a better term for it, but what I mean is when a heated dispute becomes less about the original subject matter, and more about the way in which the current dispute is being conducted. For example, you might criticize me for fighting dirty: using a sharper tone than necessary, being mean, reopening old wounds, trying to change the subject, etc. Are there any psychology or self-help books that deal a lot with the dynamics of fighting/arguing/bickering that might discuss this phenomenon in particular? (Bonus for examples of this in movies or books.)
posted by Beardman on May 23, 2014 - 22 answers

Who can provide a shingles vaccination?

I want a shingles vaccination. My doc says no. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 23, 2014 - 23 answers

Is this a red flag in my 3 month old relationship?

I have been dating this girl for three months now. I think she is a sweet classy girl. The only problem I have with her is this: During past three months there were three occasions in which she wanted to go to a family event. At first she said that she was going to a family party. Then later she said that she made a mistake and that was actually a big party where half the city were invited. I texted her this morning asking her to hang out tonight and she said fine. Then this afternoon she said she rather hang out tomorrow and pack her things up for a trip she is going to go in 9 days. She just called me a few minutes ago telling me that she is invited to an event on FB which she just realized because her FB did not send her any notifications and she is thinking of going or not going. She always says she is not sure if she would go but ends up going any ways. [more inside]
posted by mbn1455 on May 22, 2014 - 13 answers

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