A colleague has recently asked me to go out with him. The major red flag is that his ex-girlfriend whom he split up with, is a work colleague. In fact, all three of us work in the same organisation. The two of them have very senior posts and the nature of their work is such that they need to interact at meetings every day. I have a less important job and only work part-time. He was dating his ex for many years and the breakup wasn't easy. None of us are likely to leave our jobs. Does working closely with an ex ever rekindle the flame? Also, they sometimes work late in the evenings and she lives near him, so she often takes a lift with him. Should this be stopped? After all they are in close proximity anyway, so what is an extra 20 minutes in the car? Would you say this is enough of a ref flag and I shouldn't go ahead?
posted by ashawill
on Mar 4, 2013 -
50 answers
One of my significant other's friend runs a business that takes "cash under the table" and brags about his nice new toys, and teases us about what suckers we are that we have to pay taxes. This infuriates me. What do I do?
[more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Aug 9, 2012 -
76 answers
How do one handle buying property jointly before getting marrried? (One partner has assets and the other one has income)
[more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Jul 5, 2012 -
12 answers
What methods have worked for you in terms of keeping a rational mind when you feel yourself becoming (rationally or irrationally) angry?
[more inside]
posted by oink
on May 31, 2012 -
16 answers
I love AskMefi for many things, but ultimately it comes down to being
super-nosy about other people's lives, and the human relations questions are my favorite. What other sites should I be checking out to satisfy my curiosity about other people's lives and problems, as well as thoughtful advice and insight? I'm a big fan of Carolyn Hax's column, but am drawing a blank at what other sites I should try out.
posted by Neely O'Hara
on May 14, 2012 -
26 answers
Our department is small among many departments in the company. We are not very highly perceived, although this is not the truth. How could we improve that.
posted by amostafa10
on Apr 10, 2012 -
10 answers
Please hope me prepare for pregnancy this year. 36 years old, 40lbs overweight. I know I need to lose weight, but I'd also like to start trying sooner rather than later because of my age. I know there are no quick fixes, but I still want one.
[more inside]
posted by heffalump
on Feb 26, 2012 -
34 answers
Babysitting friend's budgie and let it out to have a fly. It hit a wall and fell to the ground beside my dog who promptly scooped him up but dropped him immediately when I yelled at him. I rushed him to an avian vet. The bird is in shock and in "critical" condition. Oh, please help. Vet expenses are going to be $400 and I don't even know if the bird will make it. But I don't care about the money. I care about my friend and my friendship with her.
[more inside]
posted by heffalump
on Nov 21, 2011 -
36 answers
How do I get potential employers not to call my current employer (when they've already requested to) for a reference?
[more inside]
posted by heffalump
on Aug 28, 2011 -
8 answers
A friend of mine is looking to sell two extraordinarily valuable violins (in the 3+ million dollar range). I think he's hoping to sell it privately to avoid the huge cut the auction houses take, and he's suggested that if I can find him a buyer, he'd be happy to pay a finder's fee of some sort. So two questions...
[more inside]
posted by sdis
on Aug 22, 2011 -
21 answers
My husband was laid off today... The day that was supposed to be my last day of full-time employment. How do I recover at work?
[more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Apr 22, 2011 -
14 answers
I have a cantankerous and grouchy colleague at my place of work. I was wondering what tips and strategies the fair people of meta-filter have for dealing with difficult and obstructive people?
posted by waltz9
on Sep 11, 2010 -
34 answers
How do I handle a christmas gift given to me by another women while my marriage may be ending.
[more inside]
posted by frogmoses
on Jan 13, 2010 -
52 answers
A work colleague of mine lost her mother to cancer to one year ago tomorrow. I wanted to give her a card just letting her know that I am thinking of her and am aware that it must be a difficult day for her. Is it appropriate for me to do this? She has not been talking about the fact that the anniversary is tomorrow, I just happen to remember the date. If it is a good thing to do, what should I say on the card? Thanks for your help
posted by elis
on Nov 12, 2009 -
24 answers
My wife admitted she had a crush on a co-worker, but nothing happened. However, I now know that during her crush, she drunkenly told the guy she liked him and he said he liked her too. She has never admitted this. Things are really good between us now, like when we were first married. Do I let this new piece of information go, or confront her about it? I still have no doubts nothing else happened between them.
posted by anonymous
on Jul 27, 2009 -
34 answers
I'm fascinated by studies of body language and their application - yet my own body language sucks - I seem to have - 'hey, cut in front of me when I'm walking or queueing' or 'when I express an opinion, puff up and argue with me' - even though sometimes I actually do have the right info. Does anyone have theories on the type of body language I can use to dispel/improve this? Being short, female and 38 with a 'kind' face doesn't give me a good head start apparently. I look forward to hearing your thoughts. This can get to be tiring and annoying - and I'm actually pretty patient.
posted by IdleRepose
on Mar 26, 2009 -
26 answers
I'm having the same problem as the poster below me "Help me deal with high stakes situations.." (BTW I read all those responses too).
Like her it happens with meetings, people with authority, friends and dating. But, I'm a guy, and the only part I really care about is how it effects friends and dating. The rest I can live with..
[more inside]
posted by 0217174
on Jan 11, 2009 -
12 answers
How do I tell a work-assigned mentor that the relationship isn't quite working out? She's clearly too busy for me, and I don't want to participate in the program anymore. I feel that some of this is my fault, but I'm not sure how to handle going forward.
[more inside]
posted by purplecurlygirl
on Oct 15, 2008 -
6 answers
A good friend is getting married. All of our mutual friends (and acquaintances) are invited, but me. How do deal with the social awkwardness?
[more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Sep 27, 2008 -
38 answers
Am late 50s, living in Portland, OR, divorced many years, really don't want to be here (interested in relocating to southern california), but have early teenager daughter. How do I reconcile wanting to pursue what I want to do with the years I have left, with staying around in this area for my daughter (my ex has custody, zero problems with visitation, etc.). By the time she turns 18, i'll be in mid 60s+, which i know is not the end of the world, but...am i being selfish for wanting to pursue what I think will make me happy, versus "doing time" here just to be physically close to my daughter (we have a great relationship). Genuine feedback appreciated.
posted by america4
on Jun 22, 2008 -
26 answers
Newly single (after 10-yr relationship). How do I get from Point A to Point B, with Point A being meeting a potentially interesting person, and Point B being the point where I can smoothly ask them to do something with me. All, you understand, in service to just getting to know this other person better. The possibility of a hook-up is secondary (although not completely disregarded.)
[more inside]
posted by hapax_legomenon
on Apr 22, 2008 -
11 answers
What reason would there be for a male to pass himself off as a woman on the internet? Should I tell my girlfriend her online confidante is actually a guy?
[more inside]
posted by misha
on Jun 12, 2007 -
23 answers
I know someone who has, in the last six months, lost a husband, had a house go into forclosure, mother had a stroke, and is close to the breaking point.
[more inside]
posted by theperfectcrime
on Apr 28, 2007 -
10 answers
How do my co-workers and I deal with the owner of the start up company we work for when he doesn't want to change his ways?
[more inside]
posted by jrdnbaade
on Mar 14, 2007 -
10 answers
So my mother-in-law died and I feel like my siblings haven't been there for us at all..am I expecting too much?
[more inside]
posted by cellardoor
on Jul 29, 2006 -
30 answers
Mr. Straight Arrow pays all his bills on time, works like a slave, and has a joint account with his spouse, but wants some fun money to splurge with his kid at a ball game, buy a scooter or go nuts at Sports Authority without his wife giving him grief over spending too much. Is this a separate stash in joint bank account, or something else?
posted by terrier319
on Apr 14, 2005 -
20 answers
