My dad, after breaking his hip earlier this summer just fell and broke his Femur. He's about to go through surgery again. Help me navigate what to expect for him and the minefields with dealing with difficult family members in this tense and upsetting situation. [more inside]
Short of saying flat out what I said in the title, how can one help people learn to become “bicultural” and adapt to a foreign work style if they are unaware of the need to do so? [more inside]
A colleague has been sending me Facebook messages pretty much everyday and making some rather inappropriate remarks. I have no feelings at all towards him. I'm quite repulsed by him. I don't think he actually wants anything to happen, but these messages have been making me feel uncomfortable and that they are crossing boundaries. How do I deal with this professionally? [more inside]
What is the best and mature way to defend oneself from unfair (in my mind) accusations of selfishness in a dysfunctional family? [more inside]
A vendor invoiced us to send us our own stuff. Boss tasked me to go back and challenge the invoice- awkwardness ensues - help? [more inside]
I'm pursuing a master's degree in one of the rehabilitation specialties. Our program is very tight knit and wonderful. However, one professor for a key course is not a good teacher. [more inside]
I am middle-aged. Without going into my personal history, it is sufficient to say I feel like life is consistently, repeatedly short-changing me over time. I am not exaggerating when I say that I basically have no one available who truly cares about me on a level beyond what I can do for them because I have no social status to speak of and life consistently goes horribly awry for me. [more inside]
I ordered furniture that was delivered to the sidewalk. I live in a three-story walk-up, and explicitly asked the company to send people to carry the furniture upstairs. It's damaged because I had to carry it inside myself. What can I do? [more inside]
The backstory might shed light, but it's long and I'm sorry if it bores you. I might make a TL;DR sentence, but I suggest you read the whole thing. TL;DR. Befriended girl and crushed, had a lot of issues that turned me off, turned into a very close friend, badly timed telling her about dead feelings, and managed to still communicate until I had to back off for a bit. Don't know what I should do? [more inside]
As it stands, I'm being groomed for a promotion that puts me on the 'managerial' side of the line. What steps can I take to reinvent my work persona in a way that encourages my peers to change their perception of me? Difficulty level - three years deep into the class clown act. [more inside]
English does not have words for certain kinds of specific relationships, but other languages do. I am interested in learning examples of some of these words. [more inside]
I'm at a crossroads in my long-term relationship. We've been dating for 2.5 years. He's been trustworthy and I've been extremely happy in this relationship. I'm 30 f, he's 31 m. We live together. Things changed a few weeks back... [more inside]
I feel that my trust has been betrayed by my boyfriend. [more inside]
My mom died two weeks ago. It was from a fast growing lymphoma - was sudden and unexpected. She was an incredibly healthy person leading up to about the year before her death - no vices at all, exercised religiously, and maintained a very healthy lifestyle. Question revolves around help for coping with this loss, potential near-future loss of father, and changes in live. [more inside]
I now have a newfound respect for PR and the rules of engagement. I took your advice and narrowed down my contact list from 800. I'm individually emailing journalists, bloggers and editors, asking them to list us in their calendars or mention us in a blog post. So far I'm not getting any response. This is bad, right? [more inside]
I'm handling PR as a volunteer for a nonprofit for a month. I'm fairly new to dealing with the media. I've read PR for Dummies, looked at online resources and related questions on askme. I found some great stuff, but no answers to these questions. [more inside]
I'm an early 30s lesbian who spent most of her 20s in committed relationships. My latest and most significant ended about a year ago and I've started dipping my toe in the scary online dating waters. I'm not ready to get serious yet but since I've been in these long relationships, I've never really 'dated around' per se, except maybe in my very early 20s- although at the time I was pretty closeted and neurotic, so I hardly even count that. Anyway, I registered on OkCupid and messaged back and forth with a few people. Somewhat naively, I gave two of them my phone number to text. BAD IDEA. More inside.. [more inside]
How do I keep my parents from being quite so upset, angry and unreasonable, while retaining control over my wedding, marriage and life? [more inside]
I have someone in my life who I've come to realize can no longer be there. This person is an ex. We haven't seen each other but we've stayed in touch. Tried to be 'friends.' But it always ends up with hurtful messages and it's no longer a good situation for me. Probably also not for her. The relationship was long and it's been hard to let go. Complicating this: she has a serious mental illness and seems to be getting progressively worse. Which makes all of this worse. She pushes people away and has no immediate family. It makes me sad to think of her alone, but sadder to think about dealing with this for any indefinite period of time. I literally cannot handle it anymore. I'm done. So.. do I just ignore her? Tell her I can't talk to her anymore? We have gone a few weeks without talking but that's been the longest in over a year since we've been broken up. Anyone have experiences with cutting out someone with a mental illness? How did you get through?
One of our sales reps is retiring in two weeks and I am to take over his accounts and duties. The problem is he isn’t exactly helping with the transition process. How do we motivate him to help us prepare and be ready for his exit? Right now we might end up high and dry without access to important information we need to work after he's gone. We need to know what is going on with the accounts and everyone we should be working with. [more inside]
Can you help me understand the dynamics of my breakup? [more inside]
When should I suggest to my partner that he may have Aspergers? [more inside]
How to tell if this a friendship is over - snowflakey wall of text inside [more inside]
I feel invisible. Either that, or just forgotten/not cared for. Any solutions or experiences coping with being ignored? [more inside]
Trying to figure out how to manage both a mental illness and a set friendships at the same time - balance between opening the can of worms that thoughts of a depressed mind can be and closing in, keeping things to myself appears to be incedibly hard to strike, and being unable to figure it out for 4 years now has been costing me plenty of sleepless nights and otherwise good friendships along the way. All input appreciated; more backstory inside. [more inside]
Hi all, I don't live at home anymore, as I studied abroad, but frequently come home during holidays. During such return visit, and the ocassional visit by my family, I always get a good taste of my mother's uglier side. I dont want to diagnose her myself, but can say that her bipolar and control freakish behaviour is affecting the whole family (my father and brother) for as long as I can remember. I would dare to even describe it as abusive; minor problems like a dirty plate forgotten on a kitchen counter can escalate into agressive full blown shout out, and in general there were moments where I really had to remind myself that, whoa, this is my mother. [more inside]
Younger brother being a jerk or I am overly sensitive? We are four siblings. Two sisters. Two brothers. All married. With children. I am the oldest sibling. The behaviour of my younger brother the past few years are really irked me. I have refrained from confronting him about it because I'd rather be a good guy and not rock the boat. We also work together in a family business. [more inside]
I've just finished my masters in International Relations and am going to kick off my job start in earnest from next week. I have questions about where I should be looking for work, what options might be open to me, and would appreciate some advice. [more inside]
Is it fair to a girl I was semi-casually dating if I continue attending her church after we broke up? [more inside]
I'm thinking of enrolling for Fall 2013, and I'm interested in a practical, skills based (as opposed to academic) program. What courses are absolutely essential nowadays? [more inside]
I'm horribly unhappy with my job, but don't want to quit because of certain reasons. Advice solicited. [more inside]
A colleague has recently asked me to go out with him. The major red flag is that his ex-girlfriend whom he split up with, is a work colleague. In fact, all three of us work in the same organisation. The two of them have very senior posts and the nature of their work is such that they need to interact at meetings every day. I have a less important job and only work part-time. He was dating his ex for many years and the breakup wasn't easy. None of us are likely to leave our jobs. Does working closely with an ex ever rekindle the flame? Also, they sometimes work late in the evenings and she lives near him, so she often takes a lift with him. Should this be stopped? After all they are in close proximity anyway, so what is an extra 20 minutes in the car? Would you say this is enough of a ref flag and I shouldn't go ahead?
I've been constantly told that key to being okay again is to "choose one's happiness" - both by strangers on the internet and the very closest people in my life. I've been diagnosed with mild-to-severe depression and anxiety for three years now (there is a bit more to that, though). Since most of the before-mentioned friends (etc) wanted me to stop taking antidepressants, I am without them for now. So, since everything I found by sending my queries to Google was meant for "normal people" who are "feeling a bit depressed", I would be grateful to know how these approaches apply to those with actual mental health issues, if they do at all. [more inside]
Unrequited crush...or is it? [more inside]
How to say no over and over again? [more inside]
Can you recommend me podcasts, books, TV documentaries, articles or journals (in English) where I could learn more about China, such as Chinese politics, history, culture and other important things?
Spent two days, 12 hours driving helping a friend move from Los Angeles to San Francisco. The whole time my friend seemed unappreciative of my help and didn't even go as far to pay or offer to pay for any snacks or meals. At the end of it all my friend offered thanks. Am I being over sensitive or do I have the right to be a little annoyed?
I received this text from my neighbor this morning. I have owned my house for 7 years and think my neighbor should mind her own business. [more inside]
My dad has not been in a relationship since his split from my mom 19 years ago. He's turning 60 next year and I want him to finally be able to find someone to grow old with. He lives a few Provinces away - how do I broach this with him. [more inside]
What do I do about my significant other's friend who takes cash under the table and pays no taxes, but calls us "suckers" that do pay them?
One of my significant other's friend runs a business that takes "cash under the table" and brags about his nice new toys, and teases us about what suckers we are that we have to pay taxes. This infuriates me. What do I do? [more inside]
How do I cope with daily life without any friends? I feel like my latest attempts at making friends is going nowhere.. [more inside]
Help me understand my ex girlfriend's recent behavior. VERY LONG [more inside]
How do one handle buying property jointly before getting marrried? (One partner has assets and the other one has income) [more inside]
My Mormon parents won't meet, talk of, or accept that I am with my girlfriend. How do I navigate family events and holidays since I am very close to my family but I am also in a very serious relationship? [more inside]
How can you mitigate a severe reaction to cigarette smoking in social situations when surrounded by smokers?
Asking for my Mom: how does a non-smoker who has a severe allergic reaction to cigarette smoke mitigate the effects at a social event when they are outnumbered 6:2? [more inside]
Flatmate filter: I'm planning on having a calm discussion with one of my flatmates this weekend about some issues I know she has about the house, but that haven't been discussed in the open. I would like tips on remaining calm and collected in the moment. [more inside]
What methods have worked for you in terms of keeping a rational mind when you feel yourself becoming (rationally or irrationally) angry? [more inside]
I love AskMefi for many things, but ultimately it comes down to being super-nosy about other people's lives, and the human relations questions are my favorite. What other sites should I be checking out to satisfy my curiosity about other people's lives and problems, as well as thoughtful advice and insight? I'm a big fan of Carolyn Hax's column, but am drawing a blank at what other sites I should try out.
I was eligible for a sizable bonus on February 1, 2012, the one year anniversary date of my start date. The offer letter said I'd get an email listing the criteria on which the bonus would be based by the end of February 2011. I never got the email. Requests for the criteria went unanswered. So have emails and phone calls since November. Is this something I could present to a Labor Relations panel for resolution? I have tons of qualitative and quantitative data on the work I've performed, essentially in a vacuum. Any thoughts would be much appreciated. Thanks.
Our department is small among many departments in the company. We are not very highly perceived, although this is not the truth. How could we improve that.