Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with rehab

Help Me Help a Drunk Friend

snsranch — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 15:03:41 -0800

Where can I find drug and alcohol rehab and counseling here in San Diego with absolutely no funds. I'm asking for a very dear friend who has had a rough couple of years and will soon be homeless and destitute without help.

He had a major injury at home, was laid off, has no health care and started drinking to replace his prescription pain meds. He's since wrecked his car while DUI and has to face those legal problems as well.

I really want to help but don't really know where to start. Talking with him now results in tears and denial. He's drinking 24/7 (vodka) and rarely sleeps. His family is tapped out financially.

Who should I call and what are other ways that I can help him out? It's just my non professional opinion, but considering that he can't even talk about things, let alone go try to get a job it seems like rehab might be his best option.

How do you get a 19 year old who has already been convicted of a felony into rehab for cocaine abuse?

Anonymous — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 10:33:06 -0800

How do you get a 19 year old who has already been convicted of a felony into rehab for cocaine abuse? Family complications outlined inside. I’m just going to lay the whole story out here because I feel like I don’t even know what details are relevant. I will try to respond via a mod if necessary. FWIW, I’ve read the previous threads on rehab and addiction… but you know, special snowflake and all that.

My brother is 19 and lives at home. My sister is 22 and also living at home while finishing college. They live with my mom and stepdad. Mom has always exhibited the classic symptoms of BPD, Stepdad is a good person but sometimes plays into her problems. I am the oldest kid and live very far away.

Last year, Brother was arrested for felony theft. He went to jail for a week. The details on this are still sketchy because Sister and I only found out months after the fact when he was brought to trial. It turned out that Mom had told Sister that Brother “ran away” while he was in jail and the only reason it came out was because Sister started suspecting something was up and snooped through the house to find out what it was (there is a long history of playing “guess the horrible secret” in my family). Brother was sentenced to several years supervised probation and 6 months house arrest. He enrolled full time in community college, sees a court-appointed therapist and psychiatrist (who diagnosed him as bi-polar), and works part time. Once I found out all of this, I called him to voice my support and offer help. He rejected the help and said that he felt like he just had to make better decisions.

A few weeks ago Sister called me to tell me that she suspected Brother was using cocaine. She said she could hear him doing it in his room and that he was uncharacteristically selling his stereo. The next day she snooped again and found a bag of white powder in his desk and confronted him. He flat out denied it and said that she didn’t know what she was talking about. She told him that if he didn’t quit she would have to tell someone for his own good and he accused her of wanting to put him in jail. She told me all of this and I started poking around online to see if there were any more surprises. When I googled his phone number, bunch of Craigslist ads came up- one for his stereo plus 5 other ads for expensive electronics. Sister and I agreed we had to tell someone and decided to go to Stepdad.

To our surprise, Stepdad had noticed the signs way before we did (although he wasn’t computer literate enough to know about the Craigslist ads). He had even brought it up with Mom, but Mom had said that Stepdad was “out to get” Brother (which is ludicrous). Stepdad then told me that right after the sentencing, Mom had switched Brother’s therapist after the first therapist suggested he needed rehab. I pulled together the ads so Stepfather and Sister could confront Mom. After that, Mom and Stepfather finally confronted Brother, who (no surprise) denied everything. Mom said, “see, I told you everything was fine” and things seemed to improve over the next few days. Brother told Sister that he’s looking into the military, so I reached out and tell him to offer encouragement and support again.

Today Sister said she heard him doing coke again. I looked on Craigslist and sure enough, another ad. Stepdad, Sister, and I all strongly suspect these are stolen goods (but don’t know where he’s stealing from) and we all want him to go to an inpatient, preferably 90 day rehab. Stepdad says he’ll talk to Mom again but doesn’t think the outcome will be good. Brother’s house arrest will be up in less than 10 days and Sister, Stepdad, and I are terrified.

So here’s the actual question part of the question: We want him to go to rehab, not jail. How can we do that with or without Mom’s help? How do we convince him to go? Is mandatory rehab an option given his criminal status? Who should we talk to? Can we trust his court appointed therapist/psychiatrist with this information? How can I continue to manage this from far away? My sister is getting ready to graduate and move out, but she feels totally responsible because while Stepdad means well, he’s ineffectual, and Mom is… as ever. How can I do more so she can feel comfortable getting the eff out of there?

Broke and Drunk in Montreal. Help.

Anonymous — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 10:00:20 -0800

Broke and Drunk in Montreal. Help. Things are rough. My lifelong romance with booze has really gone sour. After a few feeble attempts at getting my act together, I’ve decided I really need help.

Problem is, I’m not sure where to turn. Everything I’ve learned about AA sounds really repulsive, and the prospect of talking to a shrink makes me want to barf. I know that being sort of a misanthrope is part and parcel with my alcoholism, but everything I’ve seen or learned of the experience of getting sober makes my stomach churn, both literally and figuratively.

Drinking is basically destroying me. Booze has infiltrated and poisoned every facet of my life: friends, family, finances, and my relationship with my girlfriend. I haven’t been to a doctor in about a decade, but I’m sure at this point my liver is looking like a decomposed squirrel. I used to think of myself as somewhat bright, but I’m seriously starting to feel that drinking heavily since I was about seventeen (I’m now thirty-four, yikes) has turned my brain to mush.

Also: I’m broke. I just moved to Montreal for grad school, and as you can imagine being a mostly-unemployed student and aspiring writer with massive debts—along with the expenses of a daily drinking habit—does not leave much money or leisure time left to check into a posh rehab facility. Actually, it leaves zero. As you can imagine, the combination of being a wasted lush and being monetarily fucked is not so good for an already crushed ego, leaving one longing for the temporary relief provided by drinking.

The positive side of it is that my girlfriend and closest friends are pretty supportive and understanding, but I know they’re losing patience as I continually fail to clean up my act. I’ve made an appointment to meet with a counselor through university, but that’s weeks away and I’m feeling pretty distraught. I’ve never been to therapy or anything like that before, and even calling to make that appointment drove me to tears.

What can I do? Can I get help that actually helps and doesn’t make me even more cynical and depressed? Is there a program that actually works and is accessible to a poor-ass schmoe like me? To be somewhat coarse: is there an AA for cool people? I’d love to hear anyone’s experiences of addiction treatment that actually inspires me to think positively and not wallow in self-pity. And to try and actually enjoy quitting drinking, rather than feeling like I’m being punished. Or is that completely the wrong attitude to take? But please: no lectures or platitudes. Real, concrete advice. Thanks.

How can I get my sister help for her addiction/depression?

Anonymous — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 15:15:07 -0800

My sister has an alcohol and/or prescription and/or depression problem. What can I do to help her, and in what order? Apologies for the long e-mail, but this is anonymous so I want to get as much of the story here as I can.

My sister was in town this weekend (from 250 miles away), and did some things that really alarmed us. She is a few years older than me, in her mid-30s, married with a boy and a girl who are 6 and 3. I see her a couple of times a year. My two girls are near in age and love to play with their cousins.

This weekend, my sister drank 2 bottles of wine each night by herself while everyone else (her husband, me, and my wife) had either soda pop or one beer each. She would get progressively more angry/aggressive (verbally) as the night went on, but was never in a rage. Just noticeably sharp-tongued and at the same time boasting about herself.

Then overnight last night things got really bad. Apparently, after everyone went to bed she woke up (or never went to sleep) and snuck downstairs. She either drank more (but we couldn't find anything she could have) or popped some pills (again, not sure what they were or could have been). She was up into the night posting incoherently on her blog and on Facebook. Then on her way back to our guestroom she fell on our stairs and bloodied up her face, and fell over into a door (this was at 5:30). When her family left this morning at 8:00, her husband had to literally pick her up off the floor, then support her as she stumbled down the stairs and out the door. He flopped her down into the car and they were gone.

Talking to my parents, this is at least the 3rd time something like this has happened recently. My sister appears to be in complete denial that there is any trouble, and for whatever reason I think her husband is not willing or able to address the issue proactively (or at least not initiate action himself).

My wife and I think she needs help, now. For herself, for her kids, for her husband, and for the rest of our family. Complicating factors are that she has been generally depressed for as long as I can remember, she has MS, and she is without a job (recently) and being chased by creditors (for a long time).

I don't know if we need an intervention or a direct talk with her. I don't know if we should talk to everyone and get them on board behind her back (which could infuriate her and set her off if someone tells her) or address her first (which could set her off into a denial/aggression cycle before all the pieces are in place to convince her to get help). I don't know whether insurance will pay for rehab. I don't know whether I can or should call her own therapist and express my concern/get his advice. I've never done this before but think that my family will look to me for leadership. I am concerned that she could hurt herself; she will surely be defensive/dismissive/angry when confronted. I love my sister and want to help her. She will not be happy that this is happening.

For those who have been through this: how did you do it? In what order? With the addict's knowledge or behind their back?

Thanks for any advice you can give. Throwaway e-mail is helpmehelpmysister@gmail.com

Unplanned Intervention over. Now what?

Anonymous — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 10:46:40 -0800

Unplanned Intervention over. Now what? Over the weekend I participated in an improptu intervention in my mom's hospital room. There have been ongoing issues with her for about 20 years or so for depression and meds, and after an on the job injury over a year ago and subsequent back surgery she is pretty much hooked on pain pills. According to her she tried to quit and ended up in the hospital after puking for several days. She's been battling with pills (pain, antidepressants) since I was a child, and I don't have a lot of sympathy for her anymore. I can't trust her. She says she wants help, and the social worker that showed up in the middle of the intervention said that was a good thing, but what she says and does are usually not the same. In her purse we found large bottles of oxycontin, vicoden, percoset, norco, and some other stuff. All her perscriptions. Don't know if it was all the same doctor or not.

My brother is trying to drag me into dealing with this, but to be honest (this is really sad) I don't care. She has burned me and played me and my family against each other for too long. In my mind if she knows that I am done that should help her come around. My wife disagrees.

So now we have to move forward. She was discharged yesterday and I think was sent home (with more norco. Thanks DOC!). My brother thinks they only away she is going to get help is an inpatient rehab, but we have no idea how that works/costs (social worker said insurance will not cover). He wants to help her find a place, but I think (and the social worker agrees) that SHE has to make the calls and get in somewhere. We cannot do this for her.

Here's the catch and the reason this is anon: She is a liscensed nurse in the state of California. I do not want to see her hurt someone on the job, but she needs to get clean and I want her to be able to work after she does. There is some discussion of her losing her liscense over this, even though she has been on disability for over a year becuase of the back damage. She is supposed to return to work next month.

So here are my questions. Any and all advice is welcome:

What does Rehab cost? Outpatient/Inpatient?
Will outpatient rehab work?
Is my hands off attitude going to help or hinder?
Will she lose her liscense?
Someone had mentioned support for addicted nurses programs, but I can't seem to find any on the web. Anyone heard of this?

Throwaway email: momneedshope@gmail.com

What was your experience with a torn meniscus?

leslies — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 18:35:31 -0800

So my husband tore his meniscus months ago. Finally got an MRI confirming it and we're wondering what people who've had a meniscus repair can tell us about their experiences with surgery and rehab. He tore it playing soccer but luckily did NOT damage his MCL or ACL. We've known lots of people who've gone through the not-fun of an ACL repair and are hoping that dealing with just the meniscus will be a less lengthy, less painful rehab. He doesn't plan to go back to soccer but hopes to be able to run and hike again. Don't know yet whether he'll be getting a repair or (partial) removal so would appreciate hearing about your experiences with either. If you know a great knee guy in Ann Arbor that would be great too!

A gift that keeps on giving?

MPnonot3 — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 15:03:03 -0800

What to send a friend in rehab? So a good friend of mine checked into rehab about a half month ago and I want to send her something to lift her spirits (if her spirits need lifting).

She's about 3,000 miles away and as much as I wish it wasn't, money is pretty tight. So no live puppy fruit baskets. Something small, compact, and fun. Like a bouncy ball full of inspiration and hope.

I don't want to go the greeting card route, unless its part of something bigger. For disclosure sake shes a young adult woman who loves writing, classic rock, and seeing me make a fool out of myself. Combine those things and we get ...... ????

On the back of this, can you even send something to someone in rehab? Are there stringent rules and restrictions? Will my bouncy ball be confiscated?

Is It Time to Give My I-Mac the Boot!

goalyeehah — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 17:56:54 -0800

Where can I go to rehab my I-Mac? It's pretty old and just recently began to freeze a lot. I am debating whether to take off files and programs donate it or get it repaired. Repair costs at Staples are $369.00 with data transfer and backup an extra $69.00. I'd like to keep it for at least another year but I am not sure whether it is worth repairing.

FWIW, I live in Los Angeles

Intervention!

youngergirl44 — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 09:42:18 -0800

I live in Chicago and need to help a friend get into a drug rehab program. I have no idea where to start. Please help! First, he wants to go, but doesn't have the presence of mind to do it all on his own. I've never known anyone who has done this before, so I feel overwhelmed.

How do you select a place? He's about 50 years old, gay, HIV positive and severly depressed. Do these factors need to be considered when picking a place? Does it matter what drugs he's on? Are certain places better for some addictions than others? If it matters, he's using coke, crystal meth, crack, and pot (that I know of).

How does he tell his employer? He applied for short term disability or the family medical leave because of a recent MRSA infection, but I don't think he's been approved yet. Will going into rehab mean he's going to lose his job?

What sort of information do I need about/from his insurance company (Blue Cross Blue Shield)? I have other friends that work for the same employer and have the same coverage, so if the friend can't get the information, I'm sure someone else can.

Do I ask for his family's help? He's fairly close to his family (brothers, cousins, but no children, spouse or SO), but has fallen away in the recent months due to his addictions. I don't know how much they know about what he's been doing.

I know he's practicing reckless sexual behavior. Is this something that a rehab program can help address?

Also, he went through the 12-step AA program 10+ years ago and never wants to go back to a 12-step program. Do non-12-step rehab facilities exist? Should I ignore is dislike for the 12-step program (he thinks of AA as a cult) just to get him help?

I feel like this is really scattered, but I don't know how else to put it. I saw him last night and he was so tweaked out that I came to the realization that he is going to die from this. I just want to cry......

A friend in need...

aheckler — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 12:50:25 -0800

The sibling of a close friend was recently admitted to rehab for an addiction. What can I do to cheer my friend up? He/she was very close with this sibling, so they're very much in the dumps. I can't really fathom what this must be like, but I'm hoping some MeFites may be able to. Bonus points for personal experience with similar efforts that have worked.

How do I get short-term disability without losing my job?

Anonymous — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 17:34:11 -0800

I need extended rehab for alcohol. How do I approach HR without losing my job? I have been in about 6 rehabs and my sobriety would last for a short time the longest stretch without any alcohol has been about 3 months. My doctor and I both think that more than detox and intensive out-patient is needed. We do agree that detox is needed, but what I really need is a 28 day or more program.

Now, I have been at my job for about 7 months. I really, really love my job. It is probably the best place for me to be. But my addiction is affecting my work. I am well liked and generally do a good job but as I have said, my work is being affected.

We have the luxury of unlimited sick days but after 5 days you need a note from my doctor that puts me on disability and my employer offers Short-Term Disability for up to 90 days.

So I don't know if I need to be out for 5 days and then have my doc write me a note, or does my doc write me a note?

I have already started the ball rolling on getting into detox by talking to my insurance company, and am trying to find a longer care facility.

Please help. I am really serious about getting better and I think I have the perfect opportunity to get the help I need.

Thanks

My elbow is not a noodle!

Madamina — Sun, 18 May 2008 12:10:53 -0800

2.5 years postop for a badly fractured non-dominant elbow (long since fully rehabbed, which I even finished early), I am doing more physical activity. It's sore, which I expected, but not in the way in which I figured. Tips? Since healing, I haven't had any problems in normal activity of any sort, including moving heavy things and repetitive motions. I have never been very sporty, so doing more physical activity (weightlifting included) is out of the ordinary for me.

Lately, I've been going to the gym twice a week for about half an hour of weights, among other things, and I'm on a very low-key softball team. Sometimes when I'm weightlifting, I will get a rather sharp pain that says, "Hey, quit it!" One day I decided to work through it, so I did a few very light reps using my dominant arm more, and it went away. I figured it was probably just incredibly tight due to disuse (of that particular motion), given that I know it's been fully healed for a long time now. Even so, it seems to get more sore than the other one, and I'm not really sure how to deal with it.

Should I just treat it like a regular sore joint? Should I try to do some extra stuff to re-rehab it somehow and bring it back up to snuff? Should I mention it to my PCP the next time I'm in for, say, a sinus infection?

You are not a doctor, my doctor, Dr. Phil, nor even Dr. Nick.

Is there such a thing as rehab for depression?

Anonymous — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 11:54:38 -0800

Is there such a thing as rehab for depression? Details:
Just finished my Ph.D. Struggled a lot through the last few years of grad school, including serious bouts of depression, hence was just trying to pull through finishing my degree, and didn’t line up a postdoc or other job immediately following. Currently “employed” by thesis advisor in same laboratory, but feel like I have royally screwed this up by falling insanely behind on a major project (and covering as if I wasn’t, hoping I would get it together in the past few days. I haven’t.) I’ve also been intermittently sick over the past few months, and missing more work due to that. I’ve been told that I am probably burnt out. Really thought things would get better, but I’m feeling back at square one (except that I have my degree. Square two, then.) Tempted to quit current semi-job, since this is going so poorly, and I feel like I have overstayed my welcome since I’m burning out/getting depressed on my advisor’s dime. Admittedly, its all made worse by the fact that I feel immense pressure every time friends, family, and colleagues ask me "What are you doing now/next?"

Then what? Throughout the entire course of school, I’ve seen doctors for both med management and therapy. I’ll have catastrophic coverage until September, but the mental health services/prescription coverage runs out shortly.
I’m almost afraid to start a job in this state, especially using my connections/network, because I fear falling into this state (missing work, etc) in another job, again.
Unfortunately, I have no savings, and not-working can only last so long. I feel flippant going on vacation in the middle of not having my life together at all.

I have often thought that I wish there was some sort of rehab for depression which would be a few weeks of hardcore motivation/revitalization, and then I’d be “better.” Is there such a thing? Would it be worth going into debt for? I know this is black/white, catastrophic thinking, but I feel like if had HAD a chemical addiction, at least I’d know what to do with myself right now. (I’ve been close in the past, but have so far successfully veered away. Except for my not-working/surfing-the-web addiction, I’m doing decently, addictionwise)

Sorry this is so long. I feel like I’m out of ideas here, and feeling very stuck, as I dread working/talking to my advisor tomorrow/contemplating leaving my current "job". Thanks in advance for any advice. throwaway email at: FeelingStuck at gmail.com

What do sober people do?

Roman Graves — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 18:17:12 -0800

What do sober people do? My sister recently got out of rehab. Drugs and alcohol have been a big part of her day to day activities for a long time. So now that she's clean she's obviously bored, and doesn't need that as an added reason to relapse. She calls me and asks what it is that sober people do, but I go to bars fairly often or do things that she just plain ain't interested in.

Anywho, what can she do to keep herself busy? She goes bowling and sees movies and the like, but you can only do those things so many times. She knits and does bead work also, but right now her nerves are really shot and she can't keep her hands steady. She's in Louisville, Ky (and 29 years old), if locals have any specific recommendations.

Rehabbing from surgery.

caveat empress — Sun, 30 Dec 2007 16:56:18 -0800

Has anyone out there had to rehab severed extensor tendons in your thumb and/ or index finger? After going one on one with a kitchen knife I severed both extensor tendons in question. Yeah, it never turns out quite like you hope. Anyway, both were surgically repaired. At this point post-op I will not start rehab for a few more weeks and am still in a monster splint.

What can I expect?

What does it take to get a 'rehab' mortgage to purchase a building?

geos — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 07:44:09 -0800

What does it take to get a 'rehab' mortgage to purchase a building? I am looking into buying a rental property that was being renovated but went into foreclosure before the renovations were finished. Assuming that for $X amount of loan, the rent would cover the mortgage and maintenance: what would a bank want in order to obtain a loan to rehab and purchase the property? Down-payment? Business plan? Income?

Birthday gift for a 19yo just out of rehab?

hummercash — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 20:18:56 -0800

PostRehabFilter: A family member is getting out of rehab tomorrow and his birthday is on Thursday (turning 19). He will be returning to rehab after the holidays for a longer stay (starts last week in December) but until then he will be at home, attending NA meetings and seeing his counselor. He'll have A LOT of free time, but will be pretty much confined to the house. He is very artistic, extremely musically gifted and likes history and science. What should we get him for his birthday??? We were initially going to get him the Harry Potter 1-7 box set but found out he's read them already... My next thought was some sort of DVD series. I was originally thinking something relating to music (he seems to be into anything between 1950 and now) but my sister reminded me that there might be drug references in that sort of thing. Other options are history/science related DVD box sets.

Does anyone have any suggestions for gifts that would keep him occupied, not make him think about drugs and fit the interests I noted above? Maybe something completely different even? My budget is $100 but if you have a good suggestion that cost more please post them anyway so I can pass the ideas on to family members with deeper pockets.

Gracias!

How to support SO through Oxycontin rehab?

Anonymous — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 18:23:34 -0800

Oxycontin out-patient rehab. How to best support my S.O? My boyfriend, who has struggled with Oxycontin abuse on-and-off for years, has (on his own) contacted a local outpatient rehab clinic and I will be accompanying him on his first, and probably on subsequent, visits. I'm proud of him for taking this step, after a couple of unsuccessful attempts at "DIY" quitting (cold turkey, tapering down, self-medicating with Suboxone, Lexapro, or other prescription meds to manage the withdrawal symptoms). I hear a commitment in his voice when he talks about getting clean that I haven't heard before, and that gives me (cautious!) encouragement.

Some background: we're both in our late 20's, have been together for about 3 years, and have known each other well for about 5. The BF has no medical need to be taking Oxycontin - it's never been prescribed to him, so this isn't about whether or not it's an appropriate drug to manage chronic pain. We're in Western Massachusetts if that is relevant.

My question: what can I expect from this rehab clinic? What questions should I be asking, as an advocate for the BF? What can I expect him to go through over the next days, weeks, months? I've looked over some other threads but they seem to be specific to heroin, meth, or in-patient rehab. If any of you have gone through outpatient rehab or have supported a significant other through this process, please let me know. I'd be happy to follow up with any additional info, throwaway email address: rehabanon@gmail.com.

PS: DTMFA not a helpful response. I want to avoid relationshipfilter but, I want to make sure people understand that I am aware of the serious problems that my boyfriend will have to face on his own and that he may never recover from this, and that the relationship may be irrevocably altered. At this point I'm hoping to get responses that are specific to the experience of outpatient drug rehab programs (good, bad, what to look for or look out for), hopefully specific to Oxycontin rehab, and how to best support someone in one.

rehab

jclovebrew — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 19:29:45 -0800

Can you recommend a drug rehab in southern California for a dear friend? I've never been in the situation of choosing a rehab clinic before. A friend is out of control with cocaine, basically snorting it all night long every night, and sleeping all day. He works evenings and has somehow managed to hold on to his job so far, but we (friends and family) fear that he's on the verge of losing it and everything else he has. If you have any direct or indirect experiences with any specific clinics/facilities/treatment centers, I'd like to hear them.

Also, just general advice on what to look for when selecting a place would be helpful.

Torn Achilles- looking for cardio exercises to do

rryan — Tue, 29 May 2007 05:50:27 -0800

I'm an avid runner and tore my achilles. Looking for cardio exercises to do that don't involve ankle/legs much. I'm an avid runner (approximately 30 miles a week), and in my 40's. I'm in good condition and weight well within the range of what I should- in large part because I love to run.

Unfortunately I just tore my Achilles tendon, and am looking at an extended rehab.

Since I won't be bending my ankle to a large extent anytime soon, I'm looking for cardio exercises that burn calories, but don't involve the ankle/legs much.

I've come up with possibly swimming as an alternative. I see a doctor tomorrow and would like to get some exercises OK'd if anyone else can come up with some other alternatives.

What should I do about my rehab-avoiding father?

otherwordlyglow — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 16:00:49 -0800

My father just left rehab for the 2nd time. What is an appropriate response that will get him to realize that he needs to deal with his alcoholism? My 72 year old dad lives by himself in a small town in the Midwest. None of his immediate family lives near by. He's always been a heavy drinker but the last few years have been really rough for him and he's acknowledged that he has a problem with alcohol. However, he can't seem to get himself to do anything about it. As of today, he's quit rehab for the 2nd time in just over a year. In both cases, he didn't last more than 3 days. My feeling is that he's been dragging his feet and making excuses and generally being a huge baby about the whole thing and I think the best response is to tell him that I'm disappointed and then explain that until he's made some progress with treatment (attending meetings regularly would be a start), I don't want to be in his life. (Is this the "detachment" thing I hear about?) Yeah, I should probably look into Al Anon for long-term coping strategies, but what's a good way of dealing with him right now?

Real estate agent for flippers?

gregoryc — Fri, 16 Feb 2007 14:29:55 -0800

Can you recommend a great real estate agent for wannabe flippers in Northern Virginia and DC? My wife and I are looking to get into the residential rehab market in Northern VA or Washington DC. Any recommendations for real estate agents specializing in NOVA and/or DC? We live in Alexandria, and would prefer to buy in there, but DC would be ok, if we can't find anything here. An agent that routinely works in both areas would be ideal. We're not too familiar w/ either area, so bonus points for suggestions on good rehab neighborhoods in either area.

I need help with meth

holdkris99 — Tue, 26 Dec 2006 17:59:49 -0800

Does anyone have first or second-hand experience (good or bad) with any drug (specifically meth) rehab facilities in the DFW area?

Help a felon find employment!

justonegirl — Thu, 27 Jul 2006 08:38:08 -0800

Advice for a convicted felon trying to find work? My brother-in-law is trying desperately to find work. He has several, quite unappealing felonies on his record (I don't know the exact charges but they have to do with weapons, burglary or breaking-and-entering, and DWI -- possibly drugs as well, since I know he's been in court-mandated rehab). About two years ago he completed the second of two sentences in county lockup and has been drug- and crime-free since.

This person is 24 years old and is under medical treatment for bipolar disorder and ADD. He is a high school graduate, but has not pursued any vocational training beyond that (this is not a possibility now, either, due to financial constraints and a need to gain employment ASAP to support himself). Previous jobs have included kitchen work in a restaurant, food prep and counter work in a deli/bagel shop, roofing, and warehouse jobs. He has left these jobs due to either conflict with management/coworkers, or a lack of steady hours.

Now, understandably, he's having tremendous difficulty lining up any kind of work. Most employers seem to automatically exclude anyone with a felony conviction (or at least pass him over in favor of applicants without this type of background). He tried the county's job placement office, but due to his criminal record and bipolar disorder, he was classified as "mentally handicapped" and they put him in a group of severely developmentally disabled people and asked him to participate in "tests" such as toddler-level puzzles. This was embarrassing and insulting to him, and the constant rejection from any type of employment opportunities is making him feel like it's going to be impossible to turn his life around.

Surely some options exist...you hear all the time of convicted sex offenders, even murderers, being employed at the time of their latest crime. Ideal jobs would have steady hours (40+ per week), some sort of merit-based advancement opportunity, and limited contact with the public. If it makes a difference, this is in central Maryland (Howard County). Any ideas?

how to help an alcoholic stop drinking

Anonymous — Tue, 25 Jul 2006 18:52:29 -0800

What is the best way for a long-time alcoholic to quit? Primarily concerned with medical aspects/health risks of detox. 10 year functional alcoholic. No other drug habits besides cigs. Average 12 drinks/night. Want to quit, but concerned about withdrawl health risks. What medications are recommended? How long does physical withdrawl last?
Not interested in 12 step information, purely medical advice requested.