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Je Regrette Tout

Please help me figure out how to deal with crippling regret over small and large things. [more inside]
posted by caoimhe on Jun 12, 2014 - 11 answers

Quote help: "No one looks back on their life and remembers..."

I'm looking for a variation of this quote related to working too hard, or missing family events. I know there's the version that says "No one looks back on their life and remembers the nights they got good sleep..." but I thought there was one that was like "and remembers the nights they stayed late at the office" or "the times they stayed at work instead of being home in time for dinner." From a movie maybe? [more inside]
posted by jtajta on Jun 5, 2014 - 6 answers

The cubicle is always less dusty in the other office...

Have you ever regretted a career change? Have you ever attempted to change careers and failed to find gainfull employment in your new desired field? [more inside]
posted by WeekendJen on May 27, 2014 - 7 answers

How to maintain motivation for self-improvement?

I am a 27 year old woman who, after spending most of my twenties held back by depression and insecurity, is FINALLY taking steps to improve my personal and professional situation. However, I am battling doubts, regret, self-loathing, and the fear that it's all too late. How do I keep the self-criticism at bay long enough to actually get ahead? [more inside]
posted by celestine on May 4, 2014 - 22 answers

Did getting a tattoo after waiting for years live up to expectations?

If you wanted a tattoo for years and then you finally got a beautiful one, did you regret it later? [more inside]
posted by n'muakolo on Mar 18, 2014 - 44 answers

How can I come to terms with mistakes I made in my 20s?

I am in my late 20s, and I have increasingly found myself preoccupied with regret about how I have squandered my 20s. [more inside]
posted by ClaireBear on Feb 25, 2014 - 35 answers

apology vs. regret

What is the difference between apology and regret? Can you meaningfully, honestly apologize for something you don't regret? [more inside]
posted by divined by radio on Feb 7, 2014 - 44 answers

I feel like I am emotionally constipated around the people I love most

Whenever I see one of my close friends or family members, as soon as we part company I kick myself for not being more demonstrative of my love and appreciation of them. Am I Doing It Wrong, or is this a cognitive problem? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 13, 2014 - 6 answers

Name that sci-fi short story (aliens discussing humans)

Do you remember reading a short science fiction story where aliens were regretting their decision to exterminate humanity? [more inside]
posted by ana scoot on Dec 31, 2013 - 2 answers

I just got my masters in Biophysics and want to leave. Should I?

I'm in a Ph. D. program in Biophysics. I'm getting paid to be here. I've joined a lab and finished the classes, but I still have at least 2 and a half long years of research to go. I don't care for my project, I don't care for the town I'm in, and I don't even know if I care about science anymore. Finally someone noticed and I've been told I need to step up my game. [more inside]
posted by Archibald Edmund Binns on Dec 12, 2013 - 22 answers

Can/Should I rebuild trust in an LDR? How difficult might that be?

I broke up with my LDR significant other ("SO") because of SO's emotional affair, which SO concealed from me. Is my regret and doubt for breaking up with SO a signal to reconcile or a natural part of the loss? [more inside]
posted by sciolisticfelix on Dec 9, 2013 - 15 answers

How to heal with what I've learned?

I’ve been doing some heavy lifting lately involving my mental illness. For the first time in my life I think I’m finally facing the root cause of my problem, rather than the symptoms of depression, low self-esteem, lack of initiative, etc. More details [more inside]
posted by fredmounts on Sep 9, 2013 - 5 answers

How can I recover from previous inappropriate actions?

When I was in my late teens and early twenties I did some really weird and retrospectively embarrassing things. How can I stop obsessing over these mistakes and move on? Now that I am relatively "normal", how can I do damage control when my past actions are brought to light? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 9, 2013 - 38 answers

How do I forgive myself for making a bad decision?

My girlfriend and I are relocating to a new city. We're in town to find a place to live and applied for two places. We were offered both and had to make a (what seemed like a difficult) decision. We went back and forth and eventually made a decision. Once we signed the lease i started feeling serious regret and loss of opportunity. [more inside]
posted by mrunderhill on Jul 25, 2013 - 21 answers

Stories of remorse &/or redemption in the Talmud, Midrash, or Apocrypha?

I'm looking for short and simple fables or parables found in the above (or even just in Jewish folklore) dealing with subjects of regret, mistakes, despair, etc. If there is a redemptive element to it (i.e making amends for a mistake, or at least attempting to) so much the better. Difficulty: nothing related to Yom Kippur. Thanks!
posted by egeanin on May 30, 2013 - 4 answers

I've done wrong and I need to make it right

I cheated on my partner early last year. We were going through an extremely bad patch and I dealt with it in the worst possible way. We've come a long way since then, and I think I want to spend the rest of my life with him, if he'll have me. But I think he deserves to know about my worst secrets if we're going to do that. How do I do this in the least awful way? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 25, 2013 - 53 answers

How do I forgive myself for being a pothead?

I started smoking weed in my early twenties, when I moved away from my hometown to a larger city in a different country. It's enough to say that I wasn't adapted well to being on my own; that, combined with the stress of a new job, a language barrier, and a few health problems that chipped away at my self-esteem, led me to take comfort in marijuana, on and off, for ten years. How do I forgive myself for the feelings of shame I have? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 8, 2013 - 26 answers

Repeating old relationship patterns

Still not over the same old guy? [more inside]
posted by bookgirl18 on Nov 20, 2012 - 12 answers

Stories of dumper regret? Get him back? (Not interested in manipulation)

indecisive ex -- how do I handle this and do they ever come back (for the right reasons)? [more inside]
posted by minerving on Oct 30, 2012 - 12 answers

Help me deal with negative patterns of thinking.

Help me learn how to control my own mind. How do I stop thinking about things that I shouldn't be thinking about? [more inside]
posted by tokaidanshi on Jul 15, 2012 - 23 answers

How can I stop comparing my life to others'?

It seems like every day I will see someone accomplish something amazing. My first thought is not to be impressed or happy for them, but to try and find out their age. Then, if they are younger than I, I'm overcome with jealousy and regret. [more inside]
posted by Monochrome on Jul 6, 2012 - 33 answers

Looking for music tinged with nostalgia and sad longing.

Songs like Jackson Browne's These Days are suffused with nostalgia and wistfulness, what other great songs fit this mold? Help me find them. [more inside]
posted by MasonDixon on May 16, 2012 - 60 answers

How do I move on from this?

I suffer from depression and issues relating to low self esteem. In a moment of unbelievably horrible judgment and extreme selfishness I slept with my best friend's husband. She found out. I'm pretty sure I've lost her friendship forever and I have no idea how to deal with this crushing guilt and regret. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 8, 2012 - 35 answers

just setting myself up for rejection?

I can't stop thinking about asking my ex for another try. This is probably a bad idea, but should I just ask anyway, just so I know I tried my best? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 13, 2012 - 12 answers

I've been thinking about our fortune

Quitting a prestigious job I really enjoyed but grew incompatible with, starting a new one that has more promise, but is still an unknown. I've listened the hell out of Moody Blues' "Story In Your Eyes" and Simple Minds' "Don't You." What other songs capture the essence of a bittersweet ending and an exciting but uncertain future?
posted by Slap*Happy on Mar 30, 2012 - 18 answers

My boyfriend committed suicide

I left him. Packed up my stuff, and the pets. He was there trying to keep it together even though I could see his pain. He killed himself 10 days later. Everyone is saying it's not my fault and not to blame myself. How? [more inside]
posted by puppup on Mar 27, 2012 - 53 answers

Help a girl say no.

Late-twenties female in need of new strategies for handling intimate encounters and avoiding disassociation during sex and shame afterwards. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 5, 2012 - 35 answers

Living with yourself after doing a horrible and selfish thing

I need help in moving on with my life after telling a lie. Many lies. That hurt someone very badly. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 22, 2012 - 28 answers

Regret, turned down job offer, Will the hiring manager consider me for future openings?

Regret of declining a job offer, I want to know how the Hiring Manager perceived me? Will I be considered for future opportunity? [more inside]
posted by msconfuse on Nov 11, 2011 - 4 answers

What do you regret about not going to art school?

People who decided against art school because they have many other interests: what did you regret? [more inside]
posted by ooklala on Oct 27, 2011 - 22 answers

Having regrets about moving...it's eating me up inside and I'm not sure how to deal

I'm about halfway through setting up my new studio in Oakland, and I feel this overwhelming sense of feeling like I should have looked for a place in San Francisco instead. I'm not sure what to do at this point. [more inside]
posted by starpoint on Oct 1, 2011 - 29 answers

Why can't I make decisions?

I find it nearly impossible to make decisions, particularly if I have two equally good options. I always regret whichever one I choose. I'm a graphics student and yesterday I had to choose whether to take illustration or film this semester. After hours of weighing pros and cons I went with illustration, then I spent the rest of the day convincing myself I should've picked film. Now I've been given the option to switch, and I still can't decide! How do I stop driving myself crazy whenever I have to make an important decision?
posted by Chenko on Sep 29, 2011 - 28 answers

Help me name a song: Drunk driving, sick regret. Country of course.

Name that tune: Father kills his son in a drunk driving accident, who makes him swear to not drink anymore. [more inside]
posted by Pontifex on Aug 28, 2011 - 5 answers

How do I learn as much as I can from this breakup?

Breakupfilter: When you are feeling regret for things you did that pushed the other person away or made them unhappy, how do you cope? How do you learn from your mistakes or even know if they were mistakes? [more inside]
posted by 3491again on Jun 8, 2011 - 10 answers

The grass is greener at the other houses nearby

My partner and I bought a house last month and although you would think I'd be over the moon right now, I'm actually a bit depressed about it. How can I come to terms with maybe not having chosen the best house to buy? [more inside]
posted by hazyjane on Feb 9, 2011 - 36 answers

No Regrets, Really?

What do people mean when they say they "have no regrets?" [more inside]
posted by The ____ of Justice on Feb 8, 2011 - 31 answers

Should I text this stranger?

Yesterday I received a text message from an excited stranger asking me whether I was ready for some sort of meet-up (possibly a first date) tomorrow (today). I duly yet tongue-in-cheekly informed her that she had the wrong number. Now I'm wondering, on a scale from stalker/freak/weirdo to fun/random/friendly, how inappropriate would it be for me to follow up tomorrow, asking if it went as well as she hoped? (Obviously in a humorous and "I'm aware of how random this is" kinda way) [more inside]
posted by spr on Nov 15, 2010 - 95 answers

Rememberance of Things Past

What do you wish you asked / discussed with your parents whilst you still had time? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 18, 2010 - 37 answers

How do I start over?

How do I overcome this crushing sense of regret at my "lost 20s" and how do I build a life from scratch? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 8, 2010 - 25 answers

what in the hell do I actually want?

Fizzled romance filter: Am I the shallowest person in America? [more inside]
posted by sureshot on Aug 9, 2010 - 30 answers

I regret quitting my job. What does it mean?

I spent several days debating the pros and the cons of accepting a new job offer. I accepted the new job, quit my current job, and am in the middle of my 'last two weeks'. And I think I really regret quitting. Help. [more inside]
posted by Kololo on Jul 8, 2010 - 17 answers

We all need somebody to lean on but apparently you'll fall on your face if you try to call on me

I find myself haunted by guilt when I don't help someone that I could have helped. I need strategies to either determine who actually needs my help and spring into action while quieting my unease, or mitigate the guilt that arises from a lack of action. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 25, 2010 - 20 answers

A chocolate cake you won't regret! Examples of choice/regret in mainstream media.

A decadent chocolate cake you won't regret? Help me find examples of choice and regret in popular/mainstream media, including advertising/marketing, but also on the magazine stand, in sitcoms, etc. [more inside]
posted by soviet sleepover on Apr 26, 2010 - 14 answers

The one that got away?

How on earth can this work out alright? [more inside]
posted by bookgirl18 on Jan 11, 2010 - 19 answers

Quit or Fail: How to pick up the pieces after academic and PhD abandonment?

How have you reconciled failure vs. quitting? How have you managed to pick up the pieces of your most passionate undertaking after dropping it? Is the desire to reinvent myself and undertake a new passion/direction just a mechanism to hide the pain of giving up? [more inside]
posted by Gaeacon on Nov 24, 2009 - 7 answers

The Regretful Adventurer?

Any stories, published or personal, about those who've taken the road less traveled... and regretted it? [more inside]
posted by The otter lady on Jul 15, 2009 - 18 answers

Please help me live with myself after lying and cheating.

How can I live with myself after lying and cheating? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 7, 2009 - 22 answers

Should I take a long-term position in which I don't intend to stay?

Should I take a "career" position in a field in which I don't want to advance so that I can get the money to do what I want to do? [more inside]
posted by ramenopres on May 23, 2009 - 32 answers

Any good quotations about regret (or the lack thereof)?

Occasionally I find myself regretting and second-guessing decisions I've made in the past. Whenever this happens, it naturally wreaks havoc on my happiness and self-esteem. I'd like to be able to cheer myself up during such times. What are your favorite quotations about letting go of the past/looking toward the future/stopping regret/living in the present/etc.?
posted by punchdrunkhistory on May 22, 2009 - 23 answers

How can I overcome my debilitating fear of regret?

I have to make a hard, life-altering decision that I've been debating on for a year. I am having a hard time doing so due to past issues that resulted from me not thinking through these things first. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 16, 2009 - 28 answers

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