I cheated on my partner early last year. We were going through an extremely bad patch and I dealt with it in the worst possible way. We've come a long way since then, and I think I want to spend the rest of my life with him, if he'll have me. But I think he deserves to know about my worst secrets if we're going to do that. How do I do this in the least awful way?
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 25, 2013 -
53 answers
I started smoking weed in my early twenties, when I moved away from my hometown to a larger city in a different country. It's enough to say that I wasn't adapted well to being on my own; that, combined with the stress of a new job, a language barrier, and a few health problems that chipped away at my self-esteem, led me to take comfort in marijuana, on and off, for ten years. How do I forgive myself for the feelings of shame I have?
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 8, 2013 -
26 answers
indecisive ex -- how do I handle this and do they ever come back (for the right reasons)?
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posted by minerving
on Oct 30, 2012 -
12 answers
Help me learn how to control my own mind. How do I stop thinking about things that I shouldn't be thinking about?
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posted by tokaidanshi
on Jul 15, 2012 -
23 answers
It seems like every day I will see someone accomplish something amazing. My first thought is not to be impressed or happy for them, but to try and find out their age. Then, if they are younger than I, I'm overcome with jealousy and regret.
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posted by Monochrome
on Jul 6, 2012 -
33 answers
I suffer from depression and issues relating to low self esteem. In a moment of unbelievably horrible judgment and extreme selfishness I slept with my best friend's husband. She found out. I'm pretty sure I've lost her friendship forever and I have no idea how to deal with this crushing guilt and regret.
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posted by anonymous
on May 8, 2012 -
35 answers
I can't stop thinking about asking my ex for another try. This is probably a bad idea, but should I just ask anyway, just so I know I tried my best?
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 13, 2012 -
12 answers
Quitting a prestigious job I really enjoyed but grew incompatible with, starting a new one that has more promise, but is still an unknown. I've listened the hell out of Moody Blues' "Story In Your Eyes" and Simple Minds' "Don't You." What other songs capture the essence of a bittersweet ending and an exciting but uncertain future?
posted by Slap*Happy
on Mar 30, 2012 -
18 answers
I left him. Packed up my stuff, and the pets. He was there trying to keep it together even though I could see his pain. He killed himself 10 days later. Everyone is saying it's not my fault and not to blame myself. How?
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posted by puppup
on Mar 27, 2012 -
53 answers
Late-twenties female in need of new strategies for handling intimate encounters and avoiding disassociation during sex and shame afterwards.
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 5, 2012 -
35 answers
I need help in moving on with my life after telling a lie. Many lies. That hurt someone very badly.
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 22, 2012 -
28 answers
Regret of declining a job offer, I want to know how the Hiring Manager perceived me? Will I be considered for future opportunity?
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posted by msconfuse
on Nov 11, 2011 -
4 answers
People who decided against art school because they have many other interests: what did you regret?
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posted by ooklala
on Oct 27, 2011 -
22 answers
I'm about halfway through setting up my new studio in Oakland, and I feel this overwhelming sense of feeling like I should have looked for a place in San Francisco instead. I'm not sure what to do at this point.
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posted by starpoint
on Oct 1, 2011 -
29 answers
I find it nearly impossible to make decisions, particularly if I have two equally good options. I always regret whichever one I choose.
I'm a graphics student and yesterday I had to choose whether to take illustration or film this semester. After hours of weighing pros and cons I went with illustration, then I spent the rest of the day convincing myself I should've picked film. Now I've been given the option to switch, and I still can't decide!
How do I stop driving myself crazy whenever I have to make an important decision?
posted by Chenko
on Sep 29, 2011 -
28 answers
Name that tune: Father kills his son in a drunk driving accident, who makes him swear to not drink anymore.
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posted by Pontifex
on Aug 28, 2011 -
5 answers
Breakupfilter: When you are feeling regret for things you did that pushed the other person away or made them unhappy, how do you cope? How do you learn from your mistakes or even know if they were mistakes?
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posted by 3491again
on Jun 8, 2011 -
10 answers
My partner and I bought a house last month and although you would think I'd be over the moon right now, I'm actually a bit depressed about it. How can I come to terms with maybe not having chosen the best house to buy?
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posted by hazyjane
on Feb 9, 2011 -
36 answers
Yesterday I received a text message from an excited stranger asking me whether I was ready for some sort of meet-up (possibly a first date) tomorrow (today). I duly yet tongue-in-cheekly informed her that she had the wrong number. Now I'm wondering, on a scale from stalker/freak/weirdo to fun/random/friendly, how inappropriate would it be for me to follow up tomorrow, asking if it went as well as she hoped? (Obviously in a humorous and "I'm aware of how random this is" kinda way)
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posted by spr
on Nov 15, 2010 -
95 answers
How do I overcome this crushing sense of regret at my "lost 20s" and how do I build a life from scratch?
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posted by anonymous
on Sep 8, 2010 -
25 answers
I spent several days debating the pros and the cons of accepting a new job offer. I accepted the new job, quit my current job, and am in the middle of my 'last two weeks'. And I think I really regret quitting. Help.
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posted by Kololo
on Jul 8, 2010 -
17 answers
I find myself haunted by guilt when I don't help someone that I could have helped. I need strategies to either determine who actually needs my help and spring into action while quieting my unease, or mitigate the guilt that arises from a lack of action.
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 25, 2010 -
20 answers
A decadent chocolate cake you won't regret? Help me find examples of choice and regret in popular/mainstream media, including advertising/marketing, but also on the magazine stand, in sitcoms, etc.
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posted by soviet sleepover
on Apr 26, 2010 -
14 answers
How have you reconciled failure vs. quitting? How have you managed to pick up the pieces of your most passionate undertaking after dropping it? Is the desire to reinvent myself and undertake a new passion/direction just a mechanism to hide the pain of giving up?
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posted by Gaeacon
on Nov 24, 2009 -
7 answers
Should I take a "career" position in a field in which I don't want to advance so that I can get the money to do what I want to do?
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posted by ramenopres
on May 23, 2009 -
32 answers
Occasionally I find myself regretting and second-guessing decisions I've made in the past. Whenever this happens, it naturally wreaks havoc on my happiness and self-esteem. I'd like to be able to cheer myself up during such times. What are your favorite quotations about letting go of the past/looking toward the future/stopping regret/living in the present/etc.?
posted by punchdrunkhistory
on May 22, 2009 -
23 answers
I have to make a hard, life-altering decision that I've been debating on for a year. I am having a hard time doing so due to past issues that resulted from me not thinking through these things first.
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posted by anonymous
on May 16, 2009 -
28 answers
Grass_is_always_greener Filter: How can I stop torturing myself with regret and learn to make decisions again?
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posted by anonymous
on May 13, 2009 -
18 answers
How to know if I actually want the relationship back? Relationship of three years currently on break.
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 4, 2009 -
13 answers
How does one know that they've found the right partner? I don't have my dream job, apartment, body, city... no aspect of my life is exactly what I dream about. But I'm generally happy with my life and I'm thankful for the good things I have.
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posted by anonymous
on Dec 25, 2008 -
32 answers
What's the best way to catch all of the olympics that I missed? It seems like NBC's coverage was narrow at best and I'd like to see some of the great stuff they didn't focus on. Is there the equivalent of a boxed set of olympic footage that will show up on netflix at some point, or am I just stuck cobbling together olympic torrents?
posted by mecran01
on Aug 24, 2008 -
12 answers
How would you choose between leaving a girl after 5 years that you could be happy with in marriage, but who doesn’t want to wait for you, in order to follow your dream of checking out day to day life in the country you were born. Fear of regret and resentment later in life a big factor here.(long explanation follows)
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posted by talljamal
on Aug 20, 2008 -
19 answers
Followed my dreams, now totally wish I hadn’t-- how do I stop regretting it, make the tough choices and move forward with my poor mangled career?
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posted by anonymous
on May 20, 2008 -
30 answers
My geometry teacher in high school in 1984 showed us
this puzzle. I was only half paying attention, but I believe the goal was to draw a line that intersected each segment only once.
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posted by mecran01
on Jan 6, 2008 -
15 answers
Cats in the Cradle.
I have a sticky situation re: my estranged father (& his family) and my upcoming graduation. I broke off contact a few months ago and don't really want to open that can of worms again, but he recently emailed me to ask if I've "worked through my issues", and the distress my silence is causing the man makes me nauseous. How can I set boundaries without being cruel when what I really want is for him to forget all about me?
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posted by mer2113
on Mar 15, 2007 -
36 answers
Trying to find a Michael Chabon essay on regret and unhapppiness from Details magazine.
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posted by msali
on Jan 4, 2007 -
6 answers
Did I make the right decision regarding my preschooler? Why am I always unsure of my decisions I make for my children? Oh my, it's so long.
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posted by LoriFLA
on Nov 4, 2006 -
42 answers
It's the end of my first year of grad school, and the only professor I am excited about working with is moving to another university...do I go with him?
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posted by emyd
on Jun 12, 2006 -
21 answers
I recently got into a graduate school program which would fund me for the next 5 years. The thing is, in the first year I am expected to do lab rotations (3 in total), and I talked with a professor about seriously wanting to join hs group rather enthusiastically without consulting others first.
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posted by anonymous
on May 8, 2006 -
9 answers
Reading
this thread it occured to me that I too am a highschool student, yet had never really thought about prom. Attending said event had never occured to me. The "if you don't do this you'll regret it for the rest of your life" posts have teamed up with a lifetime of pop culture refrences and are now ringing in my head, making me wonder... should I go? [mi]
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posted by phrontist
on May 3, 2005 -
70 answers
Three months ago, my then-girlfriend and I broke off a 2.5-year relationship. We were doing it long-distance for the entirety of it, though that never hurt us. Two summers we lived together, too. We had started to fight a lot later—usually about stupid things—and basically just started to drive each other nuts while we were apart. When we were together in person, things were wonderful, but we had to support each other across the hundreds of miles, too. It was a mutual break-up for the most part: she wanted to take a month off, but I said it was inappropriate for us to pretend to be with each other when we're really trying to get away. This may have been the biggest mistake of my life.
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 29, 2005 -
46 answers
