If it's important I'm a young woman. I don't want to talk about the rape or let this get derailed by suggestions of getting professional help. I'm seeing a counselor now and have dealt with the situation. But what's been eating away at me is a friend's reaction in the immediate aftermath. [more inside]
Can anyone recommend a rape trauma counsellor/EMDR expert in Bristol UK? I was raped 25 years ago, so not a crisis, but following a recent brave question from someone else I realise I need to get help. M
I am happy to pay and I'd like personal recommendations if anyone has any.
In her epic takedown of Katie Roiphe's The Morning After: Sex, Fear, and Feminism on Campus
, Kathy Pollitt writes
that Roiphe says that she was "'date-raped' many times and none the worse for it." The idea of whether rape must be associated with trauma to be recognized as rape is relevant to a paper I'm writing, and I'd like to refer to her actual quote. What is the quote, and what page is it on?
I grew up in an implicitly sex-negative environment. More recently, I was raped. I had next to no sexual experience at the time and barely understood what was going on while it was happening. I had very little interest in sex in the months after that, but suddenly, I am now extremely preoccupied with the idea of sleeping with other 50 to 60-year old, educated white males. [more inside]
I'd like to try dating... if not for the flashbacks. Difficulty: poor college kid. Snowflakes inside, trigger warnings all the way down. [more inside]
How do I advise my (male) friend whose social circle is intersecting with a rapist? Seeking resources as well as advice. [Trigger warning] [more inside]
My boyfriend was raped as a kid, and recently told me that he used to believe he was gay before he met me. I don't know how to handle this. [more inside]
How can my LDR girlfriend protect herself from the guy who raped her? [more inside]
A person I knew had sex with me when I was very drunk and I don't remember giving consent. But I'm reluctant to file a police report. [more inside]
I was sexually assaulted a few times and stalked/harrassed by an abusive, predatory and highly manipulative man who was in a position of trust to me. (We weren't in a relationship; he is nearly three times my age.) I am confused about where I should "be" or where I amin terms of getting over the events.
Counselors and websites are quick to point out things like PTSD and rape trauma syndrome; they are suggesting things like EMDR and strongly hinting that I'm traumatized. I'm not convinced. Is it possible to actually be traumatized and not realize/recognize it? Is a "trauma response"... with panic attacks, flashbacks, and such... the only possible response to rape and harassment? Secondly: Is therapy always necessary to deal with this sort of thing? Or is it possible that I have/will get over it by myself? I don't want to pathologize myself. I don't want to create new problems for myself by going to therapy that I might not actually need. I wanted to ask metafilter because the counselors I speak to are obviously going to be somewhat biased in telling me that I am "traumatized". [more inside]
My girlfriend was raped by a former coworker and friend. How would you recommend I offer support? [more inside]
My elderly mother in law recently confided in me that her now-deceased husband sexually assaulted her decades ago and it haunts her daily. [more inside]
I'm interested in learning about rape in 19th century America for a fictional piece I'm writing. I'm not really sure where to start in researching this, but I'd be grateful for any resources or information. [more inside]
Someone makes rape jokes at your workplace. If you could make them read and write an essay about an illuminating book on rape and sexual violence, what would that book be? [more inside]
I've been Googling and looking through different lists of recommended books (including some recommended by orgs like RAINN) about healing from sexual trauma, but I'm looking for 1 or 2 good books that are reasonably-priced. (Many of these books seem to be out of print and therefore expensive.) This is about an assault that happened to me as an adult, so books about child abuse are out.
What I don't want: hokey, religious, new-age, preachy, textbooks, "workbooks"
My ideal book would deal with many of the symptoms of Rape Trauma Syndrome, including having "body memories" of the assault.
Hope this is descriptive enough.
Have you gone to therapy or counseling after a rape? What outcome were you looking for? Did it help? [more inside]
The Wikipedia page on statistics about rape
shows a very high crime rate for countries like UK, US and Australia in stark contrast to, say, India. The gap can't be explained simply by under-reporting, as that exists in all these countries (even assuming different rates of under-reporting). Is it because these countries have different definitions of rape? Or something else? [more inside]
Someone had sex with me even though I said "no" multiple times, but I was drunk and my memories of the event are completely foggy, especially the moment of penetration. This happened several months ago and I have been completely ignoring it, but in the past few days told my partner and now feel completely confused. What do I call this? Is this rape or a confused moment that turned nonconsensual by accident? Especially confused about how to interact and think about the other person involved. [more inside]
Women's self defense. I'm curious about things that can be done before you get to a point where you've got to physically defend yourself.
In particular, I'd be interested in first hand experiences from women about how you avoid these situations and if you've ever had to fight someone off. [more inside]
My boyfriend made me incredibly angry with rape-related victim-blaming arguments of "people just shouldn't put themselves in risky situations" tonight. I can't make my point eloquently enough. Point me toward someone who can? [more inside]
The girl I've been dating for two months told me she was raped five years ago. What could be her motivation for telling me now? [more inside]
I'm finally processing the reality of being a victim of online enticement by a child predator. Besides therapy, are there any good resources for helping deal with the shame? [more inside]
I am a woman who is deeply ashamed of what sexually excites me and need help or resources in learning to stop my porn/masturbation problem. [more inside]
My girlfriend has suffered a lot, and is very angry: she wants me to confront my housemate for his passivity to the abuse she endured. Should I? Long and complicated. [more inside]
Help me help a friend dealing with trauma/mental health/addiction issues in Georgia. [more inside]
I am looking for online only web chat crisis lines for adult Canadians. [more inside]
I'm dating a girl who has had a difficult past and who seems to be strangely absent during sex. Help me figure out how best to deal with this. [more inside]
What is the story behind the text "My brother raped me last night" that has been posted to hundreds of apparently random online forums recently? [more inside]
My brother was raped. What the hell do I do? [more inside]
If I want to find out more about the fallout from the Pitcairn rape trials, who should I contact? I have read the wikipedia entry on it, but I would ideally like to hear from people who were actually involved in the trial, or who are closely connected with the community, what the impact of it has been on the community. [more inside]
I was raped by someone I thought was a friend. I finally reported him to the cops, but I live alone in a city where i walk everywhere. He knows all of this, along with my daily habits. I don't want to change my lifestyle, but I need safety, especially at my apartment (which is where he raped me). Pepper spray (which I already have), tasers, stun guns--I've seen cops use these things on men of his size & it makes no difference. I feel like I have no choice but to get a gun. Please help me think of another option. [more inside]
Is it normal when processing an assault to get similar body sensations as the assault itself when journaling or contemplating it? [more inside]
Novel research filter: Trying to find detailed information about sex therapy. [more inside]
Please recommend journal or magazine articles about rape. I'm looking for a select few especially worthwhile articles—insightful, written in plain language. Any aspects welcome, from legal analysis to personal stories. Substantial articles preferred (i.e., longer essays, not opinion columns).
She told me she was raped. Why? [more inside]
Feeling empowered. [more inside]
My friend (American) is in Changsha, China, and will be for about a year. She found out that a male expat in the city recently raped a Chinese woman. What can she do? She really needs some China-specific advice. [more inside]
I was raped several months ago and did a remarkably good job at boxing everything up to think about at another time. It looks like it's ... that time. How do I go about processing things? [more inside]
I'm about to begin volunteering at a shelter for battered women and their children. The shelter also operates a 24/7 crisis line for women who have suffered from abuse and violence, including sexual assault. What should I know before I start? How should I prepare? What was your experience like? [more inside]
Found out a good friend sexually abused his girlfriends. Paralyzed. [more inside]
How do I deal with careless ‘rape’ remarks? I am the original submitter of this anonymous AskMe post
about disclosing my rape to an organization. [more inside]
I was sexually assaulted a year ago, and I never told my long-distance boyfriend what happened. Am I morally obligated to talk to him about it? [more inside]
What is the name of this really disturbing science fiction short story? (potentially NSFW description) [more inside]
Are statutory rape prosecutions based on the state of residence of the accused, the state of residence of the victim, or where the sex occurred? [more inside]
My girlfriend confided in my yesterday that she cheated on me with an exboyfriend almost exactly a year ago and kept it secret from me. This explains a lot of her overemotional behaviour and the tumult in our relationship over the past while, I think. But when she elaborated on the circumstances what happened sounded more like rape than anything. [more inside]
Before recent times (say, mid-20th century to the present), have there been other accusations, admissions, or convictions of Roman Catholic priests committing sexual abuse, molestation, and rape? [more inside]
I'm a woman, he's a man. We're in love. We were both sexually abused as children. I've overcome it, but he's still struggling. Can I help him? [NSFW] [more inside]
What is acceptable for a mentor/mentee relationship? I feel like I'm taking mine too far... [more inside]
Why am I relapsing on my healing from a previous sexual assault? [more inside]
My first lesbian experience quickly became assault. What do I do to take care of myself now? [more inside]