Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with rage

In the name of all that is holy, please let there be print-outs!

miss lynnster — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 17:37:15 -0800

I installed a new hard drive in my G5, reinstalled all my software, and now I can't print to my HP color laserjet 3550. I've called HP, I've done everything I know how to do. HELLLLPPPPP!!!!! I'm using OS X 10.4.11. According to HP, they eliminated the need to download a printer driver and made it "automatic" in Tiger... but it's not connecting/printing no matter what I do. This printer worked fine with this computer for 3 years, and I don't remember how I got it working back then but I *know* it wasn't this difficult.

I'm getting really desperate... I need printouts asap!!! Helllp! I'm getting really whiny as my frustration mounts.

To A Near-Disabling Extent, I Wear the Opposite of Rose-Colored Glasses

Anonymous — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 13:51:26 -0800

I see the world, and all in it, as something vicious and ready to attack me, and that influences far too much stuff in my life. Help. As a pre-adolescent and young adolescent, I was badly bullied; one bully was so out of control he went away for a few weeks to a mental health facility; in another case, older Scouts in my Scout troop did such things as shitting in my sleeping bag, as well as worse things I just can't remember. As an older adolescent, my family saw bankruptcy and foreclosure thanks to unethical actions by people my father worked with. I remember feeling so helpless to stop the world's attack of my family, trying to do small ineffective shit to try to help my family (dishes, vacuum, etc.), trying to talk Mom down from her sobs. At college, I was stuck on a geographically remote campus (30 minutes from even a diner) and while there they destroyed any confidence I had in myself.

The problem is that I expect the worst from everyone I ever interact with, and from Fate. It colors everything everyday. If we have a pleasant conversation, you're merely tolerating me. I can't rustle up the desire to form new friendships, because if we become friends, something will happen. If you're a girl, you certainly won't think I'm funny, or interesting, or cute. Ask me whether I really believe I'll ever reach any of my Major Goals, or when I last had fun. If something bad can happen, it will. When the worst happens, I take it as confirmation. When it doesn't happen, it doesn't really penetrate; I simply grimly prepare for the next shot. My rational mind can and does counterargument, but it's not a match for the feeling, it just lessens it. Occasionally.

This issue's been so stubborn it's made therapy last years: perhaps because when something bad happens in my life, big or small, that part of me seizes upon it as "evidence" it's right, reinforcing itself.

What do I ask? Well, how can I go about really disabling this thing, since it's so well-planted in my head, coming from so early in my life? It's not part of the back-and-forth thoughts I hear myself think; it seems to be part of the inherent, automatic assumptions I make about everything around me (on the same level as "the sky is blue," just assumed). Others got help breaking their lifelong self-delusions here; I'm hoping to get the same kind of advice.

I want to start assuming the best of people, and view new possibilities with freshness and the desire to explore, not thinking everything is predisposed to end badly. I'd like to be as confident in others' friendship (or maybe love) as I am in my cat's affection: feel that same peaceful security in others.

I'm at UtterlyAnonymousEmailAddress [at] gmail dot com, if needed. Thanks in advance.

Focus StealingHow can I sto

hayvac — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 15:17:26 -0800

How can I stop websites from switching focus from one text box to another when they finish loading? Here's what gets on my nerves:

1. I go to a website that requires login.

2. I type my username into text box #1.

3. I tab to box #2 and start typing my password.

4. The page finishes loading and bumps the cursor back to box #1.

5. I type half my password into the username field, revealing it to everyone standing nearby. I curse the ancestors of the person who decided that focus should be able to be changed by anything other than a user action.

Gmail is the worst offender for this. Does anyone know how to prevent it? I'm using Firefox.

Does QuickBooks for Mac suck less than Quicken?

HotToddy — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 15:53:42 -0800

Does QuickBooks for Mac suck less than Quicken? I am using Quicken 2007 for Mac and [insert violent rant against sucky SUCKY PIECE OF CRAP software that causes me HOURS of wasted time doing the very thing I HATE to do most in the world]. I do not need the fancy features of QuickBooks and I hate to switch over because I have a system that works when it works which lately is not very often in Quicken, but if you say QuickBooks for Mac sucks less, I will buy it.

I am aware of this previous question on personal finance software for Macs but at this point my question is not "What is good personal finance software for Macs?" but "Will QuickBooks make my life less miserable than Quicken does?"

Thank you.

Rules Rage?

Anonymous — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 06:53:08 -0800

I seem to have a form of ... rules rage. I get truly angry over things that, afterward, seem insignificant. Help me find out why, or how to get past it. I find that I very often get .. truly angry.. over small things. I can see a common theme that I most often get angry when rules are broken - for example, if people tailgate me through the resident gate at my apartments. I suspect being a bit miffed on this is about normal, but I get flat out angry, and afterward, wonder why. Any help digging into why that angers me so, or how to deal with it to reduce it to mild displeasure?

Alberto Gonzalez protest music

ignorantguru — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 12:31:53 -0800

My university is hosting a speech by former secretary of state Alberto Gonzalez. I'm ethically opposed to a lot of things he's done but I'm going to be protesting against his visit primarily because my university is paying him over 30,000 dollars to speak here; money that will no doubt be immediately spent on defense for his pending court date. Anyway, a band and I will be playing at the protest, so I was wondering if anyone had recommendations as to songs that would be especially appropriate to play at his visit. While general protest music would be OK, something like Rage's Testify is even better. (We have a full group with 5 horns, bass, drums, guitar, piano, 3 percussionists and a singer, so we can play from any genre or band.)

Help make me angry

heavenstobetsy — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 20:25:44 -0800

I need angry music to work out to. The best work outs I seem to have are when I am listening to "angry" music. For example, Rage Against the Machine (Killing in the Name), or anything Metallica. I'm looking for suggestions that are most in the same vein as Killing in the Name, I think. It be nice if I could understand the lyrics, so Rammstein and their ilk, not so much.

I will most likely be running while listening, if that helps at all!

Suggestions?

I am very angry, and I don't know why.

JeremiahBritt — Mon, 16 Apr 2007 13:38:50 -0800

Please suggest a psychologist in D.C. area to help deal with a pervasive feeling of unfocused rage, and help me deal with these irrational anger issues while I try to schedule an appointment. I have read previous questions, but those seem to be focused on therapy for depression/relationship issues. Those that deal with anger issues seem either acute or at least the person who is angry seems to understand why they are angry.

I have a few theories of what may be wrong with me, but I minored in psychology in college and am afraid it's just an embarrassing combination of sciolism and medical student's syndrome. This also leads me to question some of my supposed symptoms, making me wonder if perceived neurosis are nothing more than minor issues with stress and personality quirks.

Basically, I am afraid that 90% of my "mental illness" is nothing more than selfishness, weakness of mind, and hypochondria.

But whether it is a sign of something systemic or merely emotional immaturity, I do need my latest problem dealt with.

For the past week I have felt a near-constant feeling of building rage, especially when I am around other people. At first I believed I was merely annoyed by my co-worker's chatter, but it's taking longer and longer to fade away. Lately, I've even been feeling it around my wife, even though I understand intellectually that she has done nothing to draw my ire. It is embarrassing and makes me feel like a complete ass. I know that this frustration is unwarranted and irrational, but this just angers me more. My wife is wonderful, patient and understanding and I hate myself when I act this way, groundlessly judgmental and mean.

So far, I haven't acted out, save some snippiness to my wife that I immediately apologized for. One of the things that frightens me is the vitriol that bubbles under the surface while I'm being complimented on my politeness by coworkers and clients. I can smile convincingly while barely containing a shouted monologue of hatred. I'm not afraid of becoming violent, but I am afraid of snapping at my boss or coworkers when asked a simple request. I find myself getting up every half hour to retreat to the stairwell or splash cold water on my face.

I don't know what is wrong with me. I was never like this before, sure I may have been a smart ass when annoyed, but I was never truly angry. It's hard to concentrate, I am unable to effectively do my work, and I find myself wasting time online in a pointless attempt to "calm down" so that I can get focused. When I force myself to work straight through it I end up making a stupid mistake and trying refrain from screaming.

Physical activity seems to burn off some of the negative energy, but I'll end up getting frustrated at my weakness/lack of endurance and start doing whatever exercise with a kind of mad carelessness.

It is tiring, being so angry for so long, and I am getting increasingly fidgety as I try to restrain myself from acting like a complete ass. About once a day the rage suddenly just leaves and I feel emotionally and physically drained, not to mention ashamed of my thought and impulses. It always comes back though.

I apologize that this was so long. All of the above was written in a kind of frantic state while I felt especially angry and desperate, but during the last paragraph it all just left and now I feel like a jerk again.

I've tried the count to 10 and breathing exercises, but halfway through this defeatist voice in my head feels patronized and I tell myself I should be able to just stop being angry, without any of this mental placebo crap. I've been forcing myself to avoid black/white thinking, to avoid allowing myself to make internal rationalizations. I'm not saying don't suggest that kind of stuff, as I'm getting desperate for any relief, I'm just adding the caveat that I seem to be my worst enemy right now.

To recap: Please suggest a psychologist/therapist in DC who specializes or can help with acute/chronic anger issues. If they accept Aetna, that's great, but if you don't know I can always ask them. I am trying to stay away from medicinal cures, but I'd gladly take prescription meds short term while I work out whatever the hell's wrong with me.

And, as a stop-gap measure (while I look for help), please suggest way's to chill out. Most of my office is away at a convention this week, so if necessary I can probably just lock myself in a bathroom stall when it gets bad without anyone noticing.

I don't like these feelings of hate that bubble up within me when I'm around someone I love, who loves me, and who has done absolutely nothing wrong.

I am a 25-year-old white male with an otherwise good life.

Thanks.

where in Flint?

clavdivs — Fri, 23 Feb 2007 13:06:24 -0800

In 1969, elements of the Weathermen held a"War Council" in Flint, Mich., whose purpose was to launch a military front inside the United States with the purpose of helping Third World revolutionaries conquer and destroy it. Where in Flint? I have narrowed it down to a "ballroom" in Flint. anyone have any idea the exact location?

3D Rage II+ Drivers (or, Can Drivers Be Copied Off Of Another Computer?)

niles — Fri, 23 Feb 2007 12:07:38 -0800

LegacyVideoCard Filter: Can I get video drivers off of the other computer? (or do you know where to get them?) This is an ATI 3D Rage II+ . So there's two computers. For irrelevant reasons, I needed to swap the video cards in the two machines. I was able to grab new drivers for the Radeon card, but I can't find the driver cd, or find drivers online, for the 3D Rage II+. Now, they're obviously on the old computer - is there a way to get them off? I've tried anything that says "ati" from the drivers folder, but I think I need, at minimum, a .inf file. Is there a way to copy drivers to another computer? Both computers are running Windows XP Pro.

Or even better, do you know where I can find them online?

Klaus is insane and kind of a dick

ibeji — Tue, 13 Jun 2006 17:52:56 -0800

Why does our cat try to cover our heads like litter when we sleep? Does our cat think we're filthy?!? I'm a little insulted... A brief background of Klaus: he is Balinese (3/4 siamese and 1/4 angora specifically), and has never been outdoors. He is crazy, demanding, and overly affectionate. Many people have called him a dick. Also:

*OCD: He is very particular about the litter box: our other cat doesn't get the whole covering the poop thing, so Klaus will go in there and cover it for him, spending ten minutes to make sure the offending waste is buried forever.

*Rage Issues: If he's not sleeping, he'll want you to pet him constantly or talk to him or throw toys for him; if you do not do these things, he will climb up on your chest and yell in your face. If you push him off, he will run around the house in a rage, screaming horrible things.

*Food issues: He's not very interested in food usually, though when he is, he wolfs it down.

So the question is, basically, what does it mean when he
(a) covers up his food like it's litter
(he did this only when I kept putting the bowl in front of him)

(b)cover up my husband's sleeping head like it's litter
(my husband's head is clean, as were the sheets)

Your thoughts and experiences? There's nothing wrong with him, and we love his insane behavior; I'm just wondering what drives this little bat devil monkey thing.

Very Orany (about my) Internet Purchase

alan — Tue, 23 Aug 2005 10:02:15 -0800

I just got screwed by a VOIP company. After a month of trying to reinstate a virtual number they accidently deleted, they’ve now confessed that they assigned it to someone else. I asked “What can you do to make this right”, and all they said was “we can give you a new phone number”. What official-type people can I complain to so I can get “The Rage” out of my system?

Does navigating your city make you crazy? What do you do about it?

LondonYank — Thu, 09 Dec 2004 13:50:55 -0800

UrbanAngerFilter: Do you get angry just getting around your city? What do you do about it? [+] [apologies for length in advance]

Ever since I moved from a midsize city in the southern USA to Barcelona and then to London I've come up against an issue that I have with bigger cities: I just don't think I've got the patience to deal with getting from point A to point B with so many of my fellow city-dwellers around.

Getting around London can be especially trying because the Tube (metro) is so antiquated and badly run compared to most other big cities that some serious stress is introduced into your day merely by using it. There was a discussion on another board where I commented:

Every morning, before I go to work, I check this page. Every day, for the past several weeks, every f*cking day, the one goddamn line I use is highlighted with delays. And every other f*cking day I go down to Old St, wait for an age, only to have an empty f*cking train blast past the platform for no apparent reason, followed by a 10 minute wait and a total sh*tfight for space when the next train deigns to appear.

One of these days, I think a forehead vein is going to throb just a little too hard, and I'm going to go postal.

Just sayin'.

So you can see my general state of mind.

However, it's worse. I get so wound up by the transport issue that I lose patience not only with the system, but with my fellow passengers as well. I become convinced that they are all out to delay my journey, that the guy who steps out of the carriage and then stands in the door, or the woman who waits until she is at the turnstile to fish for her ticket, those people are actively trying to slow me down. I know in my mind that sometimes I am the one slowing someone else down, but most of the time I am filled with a sense that I am, to steal a phrase, surrounded by frickin' idiots. I love London but I think this may be the thing that makes me move away, whenever I decide to do so.

I know, you say, I should relax. The thing is, I know other people get the same feeling because you can see it in people's eyes.

So, what I want to know, MeFites, is do you get this wound up, and if so, what do you do about it?