One of my coworkers said something that feels BEYOND inappropriate, and I don't know what to do about it. Difficulty level: racism. In the office. With lots of Southern cultural baggage. Also, WTF. [more inside]
I'm a woman who is living with two straight cismen who routinely have loud, offensive, misogynistic/racist/queerphobic conversations in the apartment's common areas. I'd like them to stop doing this in shared spaces because it makes me and my guests uncomfortable. I need tips for talking to them. [more inside]
The Ferguson incident has of course sparked many reactions from people. Facebook makes it easy for people to share images, articles, and thoughts related to their views on the incident. One of my best friends (since middle school) has been sharing things lately that skirt the boundaries of tolerance for me. I'm uncertain as to the best way to respond to her, or if I should even respond at all. Her latest share on Facebook was offensive to me, and shows a lack of sensitivity and understanding of the real things black Americans are fighting for. [more inside]
The recent events in Ferguson and most recently around Eric Garner in NYC where I live have really hit me and I'd like to donate to make a difference. [more inside]
I was born in Denmark, but fell in love with a Scotsman so moved permanently to the UK eight years ago. On Friday I was on public transport with a nice 50-something lady with nice hair and a posh accent. Without any prompting she spent the next hour spouting xenophobic nonsense about EU immigrants. The incident really rattled me and I'm struggling to move on. Any tips? More details below. [more inside]
How can somebody on the receiving end of the unfortunate manifestations of Asian fetish ("yellow fever") suck it up and get on with her day/life as best as possible? [more inside]
I'm considering a job offer from a Big Pharma corporation in Basel, Switzerland. I'm Filipino-American, currently based in DC, and am concerned about xenophobia and racism in Swiss society.* If you know of any blogs, articles, etc., that touch on this subject on a more personal level, please point me in their direction. I'm especially interested in reading first-person accounts.
My kids have asked me how to say a few things in English, but I realize the only terms I know were the racist terms used back when I was a kid. What are the current, non-offensive terms for these activities? [more inside]
I found out my beloved best friend really enjoys racist jokes... [more inside]
My friend is buying a house and received the original 1942 deed to the place, in Arizona. There's a (blatantly racist) provision we're having trouble parsing. [more inside]
What's it called when someone accuses someone of pointing out an injustice as perpetrating that injustice by describing it? Is there a name for this rhetorical device? An example would be in Jon Stewart's recent segment about Ferguson where a news anchor was quoted as saying "You know who talks about race?! RACISTS." [more inside]
Sure, the, "no, where are you really from?" thing gets old fast, but that's so minor compared to everything else I've experienced. How can I keep my chin up as a minority who is living in a place that is 90% white? [more inside]
Today my science professor shared his opinion about stereotypes and criminal activity in class. I think this was inappropriate and I'm not sure what to do. [more inside]
I've been trying to follow the reparations debate, particularly as referenced in The Atlantic in the last few months, but I find that it's largely targeted at convincing readers of the injustices suffered by African Americans...which I don't just accept, I take for granted. That said, I don't understand the practical case for reparations, EXCEPT in terms of community rehabilitation. In scanning the wikipedia page, I felt like the practical reasons against were even more compelling. Here I'm speaking of US government taxpayer-funded reparations for slavery etc. I list the following reasons I don't see how reparations could be a good idea, and hopefully someone can explain what points I'm missing. [more inside]
I need sources that list racist words & phrases applied to Black Americans during slavery and immediately following. I've nosed around the net and I've got a good library of primary and secondary sources for the period, but I'm looking for additional, focused sources. NOTE: I'm not soliciting terms with this post. Just sources that list terms.
How can I deal with this nagging sense of guilt that I should know more Chinese than I presently do? Or, how can I improve my Chinese as a busy twenty-something year-old? [more inside]
My brother did something racist that offended me, but when I spoke up against it, I'm the family bitch. How can I talk to my family so that they understand this? [more inside]
A beloved family member was unexpectedly (and likely unintentionally) racist. We called her out on it. She didn't react well. What to do next? [more inside]
I have been asked to some work for a racist, and I don't want to. [more inside]
What should I do about the bigotry of close family members? [more inside]
So this post and all of its links sent me on a huge links chain, and I'm disturbed that I never really thought about it that much. Except it's highly likely that my future kid is going to need this consideration and now I feel overwhelmed. [more inside]
In a professional capacity, I have to deal occasionally with racists that I am in a serious position of power over. I would like some ways that I can show that I do not approve of racist behavior, without treating these vulnerable people badly or reinforcing their racism. Please help! [more inside]
I would like tips on how to have a thicker skin when people say offensive things or especially when people defend offensive things. You know how whenever there's a racist incident someone says "but was anyone really surprised?" Well I am that person who is somehow always surprised and I tend to cry a little. I cry over comments on the internet. I don't know anyone else who reacts like this and I'm afraid I'd just be dismissed because there really are more important things going on. I want to respond less dramatically, maybe just shrug my shoulders or say something intelligent but not get so upset.
So Alison Gold's "Chinese Food" is a thing, and it made me remember an internet song from ~2002 or so. It was called "Ching Chong Wong" and was to the tune of "Long Train Runnin'". Anybody know where it came from? [more inside]
Is David Wingrove's Science Fiction series Chung Kuo Sinophobic? If so, why? And is it so racist that one should not buy or read the novels in order to avoid supporting Wingrove's point of view? [more inside]
I'm looking for board books that do not just portray white children. Books appropriate for ages 1-4 would be fine, but I'm buying for a 2-year-old so a bit on the simpler side is better. Thank you!
The professor with whom I co-teach a class used a picture of a man getting his shoes shined in order to make a (weak) analogy in class today. Very unfortunately, he picked a picture depicting a black man shining a rich-looking white man's shoes. Can you help me make the most of this situation? [more inside]
My son will most likely at some point think he is Chinese. He is named after his great-grandfather. When and how should I explain to him that his great-grandfather's nickname was a racial-slur against Chinese people? [more inside]
I have been struggling to understand and form opinions on racial issues in the US for most of my adult life. The whole conversation is so loaded with value-judgments that my thinking gets all tangled up. I feel like I'm missing a strong philosophical and moral framework from which to form opinions about individual issues. I'm ready to do some reading and heavy thinking so I can think more clearly about this. President Obama's speeches on race have really resonated with me. Any suggestions for books or writings with a similar attitude? [more inside]
How is the character of Kinnosuke Ikezawa from "Itazura na Kiss" viewed in Japan? [more inside]
I moved from a liberal city in the South to New York City, and now it seems that every other person I talk to is openly racist. I was not prepared for this and have no idea how to handle it. [more inside]
An adult woman who used to bully me in elementary school flaunted an ugly childhood memory in my face while serving my coffee today. How to tactfully deal? [more inside]
I am translating a text which contains a sentence about someone who is "coloured". People in the US: what is an acceptable way to translate this? [more inside]
What happens psychologically to people who fight or confront bigotry for longer periods of time? Are there any studies about depression, PTSD or self-esteem issues? How do anti bigotry/discrimination organizations help their members with these problems?
My boyfriend of a little more than a year is a totally. great. guy. With one exception: he thinks that being funny means saying whatever overtly racist, homophobic or sexist joke he can think of as a response to many situations. I always stop and tell him it's not cool, then he says, "what? I'm just kidding." Now, I worry he might actually be pretty sexist. What to do? [more inside]
It always seems that ending racism, sexism, homophobia and other forms of discrimination ends up being a whackamole sort of game: get rid of slavery, and people will still try to be racist, they'll make Jim Crow laws and institute poll tests and all that stuff. Are there any example of groups of people where this didn't happen, where the discrimination against them basically went away without any, or with only insignificant consequences?
In 2008, due to some personal problems, I closed out a Facebook account I was using at the time. I have since been accused of saying things via that Facebook account that I don't quite believe I would have said. [more inside]
Is there a way to stage Peter Pan that is respectful to Native Americans? [more inside]
I have a friend who has a long history of saying hurtful things based on stereotypes to his friends. I want to gather his friends and stage an intervention. How to go about this? [more inside]
After reading this article, I'm interested in varying the way I get my media more. Aside from places mentioned in the article, Ebony, Latino, PODER, Essence magazines, what should I be reading that will give me more perspective from people of color? [more inside]
My family's house was egged. What can I do, and how should I react? [more inside]
I'm Indian, living with a white roommate for the past few months. Most of my friends and previous roommates are white, and this is the first time that I'm feeling uncomfortable, so I don't think I'm being oversensitive. But perhaps I am, and I thought people can shed some light. [more inside]
I'd appreciate your advice on dealing with what seems to me racist joking/bantering at work -- particularly when it's directed at me. This is my first white-collar job since moving to North America, and I think this kind of "joking around" is unacceptable but this office's culture seems to tolerate it. [more inside]
I want to know more about the theory and practice of exclusive spaces for groups perceived as oppressed or subaltern, as in exclusively gay spaces, exclusively racialized spaces, trans only spaces, women only spaces, etc. [more inside]
Should I bring up this family incident from the past that still upsets me? [more inside]
I have a problem with my little sister's baby daddy. He's racist, bigoted, irresponsible, and I can see that he's a bad person for my sister and their child. It's driving me crazy, and being around him is breaking my heart. What can/should I do? Warning: some derogatory language within. [more inside]
A question about why the KKK formed in the first place. [more inside]
How reliable is the idea of CIA introducing or dealing crack cocaine to poor black neighborhoods in the 1980s? How involved was the CIA in drug dealing in general? [more inside]
Help me remember this notable (Chicago?) activist guy. [more inside]
I have never used "Jew" as a verb. I no longer "welsh" on debts, and I haven't used "gyp" since I was educated on the racism behind that term. Do I also need to stop using terms like "Mexican standoff", "Chinese firedrill", and "kabuki dance" if I intentionally don't want to create offense to a reasonable person in another cultural group? I grew up in very homogeneous territory and so I'm still learning. Please school me. I love words, I love colorful language and descriptors, but I don't want to be an ass. Words matter.