Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with quit

It's not you it's me (but you really)

Anonymous — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 19:16:03 -0800

I have an annual review coming up at work, but I'm looking for another job - what to say? Our company is a non-profit and has been in a mess for about a year, our manager quit six months ago and hasn't been replaced. Our team is now 'managed' by our department head but she is largely absent as she's been off working on another project. We only tend to see her when she comes in to dump on us about how ridiculous the place is. We have no direction or targets and our roles are becoming increasingly blurred. Despite all of that, the team has been pulling together to grind out the business-as-usual stuff.

However, I'm burnt out. I've been unhappy in the job for a long time, it's never been a great fit but I've managed to work well, but I've had enough now and my work is starting to suffer.

So my fear is that when I'm asked about my performance and plans. I'm worried about what to say. I know some the problems stem from the organisation itself but my general unhappiness is not making things any better. I could quit now as I'm on a ten week notice period (standard for my type of job) so there's a time cushion and I have enough savings to tide me over for up to six months, but I'd prefer to have something to go to first, and I'd hate for people to think I quit just because of a poor review. But if I don't I'll have to lie, and I'm not sure I can pull it off. The job market sucks and I can't afford to be fired for lacking team spirit or whatever. Does anyone have any advice?

need advice on how to avoid smoking relapse

marimeko — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 12:36:53 -0800

Ex smokers: What did you do to get past certain stages of withdrawal? Info: I quit smoking without any type of nicotine replacement about four weeks ago. I've quit many times, the longest being for four months.

A few weeks into quitting (as is currently the case) my mind always tends to resort to dirty tricks to get me to relapse (things like constant, unwanted smoking "nostalgia", or the idea that without smoking I "will never enjoy anything ever again"). It may take a couple of months, but it (my own mind!) is very convincing, as so far this has always resulted in me smoking.

PS: I've tried Wellbutrin twice and it had no effect on me other than making me anxious. Also, I want to avoid re-intoducing nicotine back into my system in the form of NRT.

Thanks!

I can't do this job anymore!

PFL — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 08:54:14 -0800

I don't like my job and I'm tired of trying to like it. I just want to quit but I'm afraid of what will happen if/when I do. Requisite long backstory: I've been employed for about 5.5 years at my current company. First 4.5 years were great, then a year ago, amidst some layoffs, I got transferred from a financial analysis role to an accounting role (basically managing the accounting of our business units). I was misled about what exactly I would be doing, but I think that was more due to poor planning than dishonesty. I took on more responsibility, started managing people, etc. but didn't get a raise/promotion or even a title change. I think I was supposed to be happy to keep my job.

I am bored senseless doing this, I'm not very interested in learning what I do, and I don't think I'm very good at it. I've basically been doing the minimum I can do to not get fired. I had the worst performance review of my life during the summer, and my bosses know I'm mentally checked out. I had a very good reputation in my old role, but I'm sure it's taken a good hit amongst my superiors because I obviously don't care. So I wonder how repairable this situation really is even if I start kicking ass.

But I look at what it takes to get ahead in this department, or even do my job at the best of my ability, and I have no desire to do it. I've already talked to my bosses about my unhappiness with the role, and it really went nowhere. There's not much flexibility budget-wise to create a new position (or even my old one), so there's nowhere for me to go.

I have a mortgage, but I have roommates to offset that cost by about 50%. Not counting their income, I have enough in savings to get by for maybe 7-8 months if I live frugally. If times got really desperate I have another $15k in a 401(k) that I could draw from (before penalties). I'm in my mid-late 20s, no kids.

I just need to get out of this situation but I don't know the best way. I don't want to look for another job in this field because I hate it, and I have no idea what else to do. I feel like quitting is the only way to force myself to make a change. I know it's not, but I haven't been helping myself get out of this situation. I feel like a weight will be lifted off my shoulders when I do it. But I'm terrified of being unemployed.

I've read other AskMe's about this. I don't feel like I'm being underpaid that badly, or mistreated, I'm just tired of underperforming at something I hate.

Am I an idiot for quitting? What do I need to think about that I might have overlooked? Should I quit? What have you guys done in this situation?

What to do about my excruciating work situation?

Anonymous — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 20:52:59 -0800

What are the best strategies for my current work situation? Question relates to disability, unemployment, and illegal activities (not mine). Apologies for any lack of detail, but, you know, anonymity.

I've been at my current job for about a year and a half, where I'm a good performer. Since requesting reasonable accommodation under the Americans with Disabilities act (I work in Illinois), my manager and the HR department have started building a tardiness-related firing case (no other employees in the department even have their arrival times tracked), I've had my shift switched back and forth (in addition to some other petty stuff that's jerky but not, apparently, illegal), brought to meetings with HR where I'm yelled at and not allowed to talk, and other Office Space-ish nonsense. One lawyer (although not my lawyer) told me it was clearly retaliation.

Further: the company is misleading in the descriptions of some of its products (although I'm not sure if it crosses the line into actionable fraud as IANAL), they haven't hung the required labor-law posters, and they (as in, the company, not individual users) install pirated software on computers (I've brought this up to multiple managers with no result, and have screencaps of cracker signatures from multiple installs).

Possibly more important: the stress just from going in every day is becoming unbearable. I feel like I'm going to "lose it." My health's been affected. I'm sick of the frustration and I'm sick of taking their shit, and I've run the situation (in much more detail, obviously) by some of my more level-headed friends, and they agree that I'm being treated quite poorly.

So: should I wait until they fire me (as they've told me they will the next time I'm at all late - it's a "right to work" state so that's their right, I guess, ADA issues aside), quit and try to collect unemployment insurance until another full-time job comes up (Illinois seems to allow this if the company was participating in illegal activity), or stick it out, hope their assholism toward me crosses the line into blatant illegality (after reading a recent Metafilter post on workplace bullying, I realized my manager met about 2/3 of the criteria, but, again, being a jerk isn't illegal), and depend on the legal system to provide redress?

Peace out, I'm going on vacation

Anonymous — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 16:07:04 -0800

Is it ethical/okay/kosher/acceptable to give two weeks notice prior to a week and a half of prior scheduled vacation? If offered a job this week, I intend to take it ASAP. At my current job, I've already scheduled vacation the 21st through the 30th (like months in advance). Is it okay to give two weeks notice on the 18th, go on vacation, come back for Thursday and Friday of 'week two' then leave forever?

All etiquette googling led to was "take vacation before you give notice" (i.e. so you are sure you are compensated for acquired vacation -- not applicable here) or "screw two weeks, give notice and leave that day" (great, but not what I'm curious about).

Help a secret smoker quit for good, and stop lying

Anonymous — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 09:16:52 -0800

Stopping an intermittent secret cigarette habit that I lie about to my wife. How do I control my intermittent smoking problem, and how do I placate my wife who won't let me talk to her about it? Longer explanation below. I picked up a tobacco habit from smoking too much pot mixed with tobacco in my early 20s. Since then over the last 15 years, I've struggled to give it up the tobacco (I never ever smoke pot with tobacco these days, and only do that occasionally).

I'll quit cigarettes for weeks or months, or occasionally a year or two. And then I'll start again. For maybe a month or two, sometimes up to 6 months, and then stop. I don't get nicotine withdrawal symptoms as such, because I'm so used to not smoking, but under certain circumstances, I get a really powerful urge to smoke.

I'll describe what happens. I only smoke alone, never in company. Mostly I work alone. Some aspects of my job are simultaneously stressful and boring. At this time I get a very powerful urge to smoke, and I find it difficult not to be totally preoccupied with going and buying a packet of cigarettes, and smoking a couple. This is when I relapse. Often I'll then go and throw the packet away, maybe 50% of the time I'll retrieve it later on and smoke a couple more. Mostly the next day I'll buy another pack and maybe throw that away. Most smoking episodes like this last a couple of months, and I'm an expert at hiding the smell. I would never smoke more than a pack of 20 in a week at my peak smoking habit.

Periodically, once every couple of years, my wife of 10 years (plus three cohabiting, plus 1 going out) finds out I've lapsed, and it gets her upset and angry. Today she found an empty packet of smokes that I'd not got around to thowing out for a couple of months in my bag, along with a pack of nicotine chewing gum that I'd got to try to control the powerful preoccupation I described above. So she's very angry with me, I'm banished to the sofa to sleep and she tells me I'll have to work out some longer term sleeping arrangement. She's also making financial demands that she knows I can't cope with (we're both earners of a small but decent part time income at the moment). Previous discovery of relapse on my part has resulted in her delivering ultimatums, which is understandable if unhelpful to me. She paints a picture where I care about cigarettes more than I care about her - a false dichotomy in my opinion. She also doesn't want me to discuss the problem with her, and tells me that it's lack of discipline on my part causing the problems.

So I guess my question is in two parts. How do I control the intermittent smoking problem without changing jobs (not an option right now). And how do I deal with my wife's anger and resentment, and try to persuade her to pull back a bit on the ultimatums. The latter is going to be hard seeing as I'm such a serial offender.

My time is worth more than this.

Anonymous — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 17:42:18 -0800

Workfilter: My small company has cut benefits and pay, closed my office and given my peers promotions without raises. They've also taught me everything I know. How loyal should I be to them? I work for a small PR firm that is currently going through the same struggles that our media counterparts are going through-- paycuts, downgraded health insurance, an office "relocation" to a location 1.25 hrs from the city (and I don't have a car-- I carpool), etc. I have not adjusted well to the transition, but the biggest difficulty has been the paycut. I know it's my own poor planning, but I am literally living paycheck to paycheck now. I have some reason to believe that I could be making much more using the same types of communication skills I already have.

That said, I feel guilty about looking elsewhere. They hired me as an entry-level candidate straight out of college a little less than a year ago, and they've taught me everything I know. I also recently joined a new account team from which I am learning a LOT, and I can see myself continuing to learn and grow professionally with this team's support. Because most people at my company are quite a bit older than I am, I don't see any of my colleagues outside of work on a personal level, but I do enjoy working with this team.

My company is only about 25 people, and over the past few months we've lost three people due to frustration with the work environment. We've also had several people "promoted" (without raises)-- my best guess is that these promotions have been driven because our company can't lose these folks but doesn't have the cash right now. (We've lost a lot of clients recently.) For a few reasons, primarily my client load and focused experience in my area, I believe I'm also seen as "valuable" at the firm.

Hivemind, I may have some possible job opportunities on the horizon, and I want to proceed with the confidence that I'm taking the right steps. Here are my questions:

1) How much do I owe this company? Should I feel guilty for trying to leave while still taking on new responsibilities/client relationships? I don't want to burn any bridges with them, and I don't want to leave them in the lurch, but I can sell my time at a much higher rate than this.

2) If you have used a job offer to leverage a salary increase at your current job during difficult economic times, how did it go over? (FWIW: as my pay was cut 20%, I would be asking for a "restoration" vs. a "raise.") Given how much I'm learning with this new team, I can ignore the crappy commuting/telecommuting/benefit-free situation if I'm at least making a living wage (which... I'm not. :/)-- but how do I do it?

How to politely fire a client?

Anonymous — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 12:03:11 -0800

How to politely fire a client? I'm trying to get out of the freelance web design/programming biz. My 'real' job in enough.

I have a client whose project started small, but is turning into a scopecreep nightmare. The originally requested work is completed and invoiced, and now I would like to bow out.

Please help me compose a polite message that will definitively end the parade of feature requests, but not result in an angry client. I'm sure from his point of view, we are in the middle of this project, but we are *well* beyond what I signed up for.

I realize this is a sort of silly question, but I've not had to do this before, and I'm unsure of the etiquette involved.

Throw-away email if you have questions: nomorewebprojects@gmail.com

JobStress-Filter

bad grammar — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 09:09:32 -0800

Is my job destroying my mind? A year and a half ago, I took a librarian job in a special education school for kids with LDs, conduct disorders, and drug problems.
I am constantly on edge that one of the students will do something violent. This spring I have been bullied by two notorious bullies (girls) in the student body. One of them physically threatened me. Very few student read non-class books. Nobody returns their books. I can't say anything more specific about the school, for fear of penalties, but I desperately need advice.

I do not belong in this place, yet I have the guilt feeling that I could somehow transform myself into Jaime Escalante if I really tried. I am not teaching classes and am thus a superfluous person and expect to be thrown overboard any day, even though no administrator has said anything of this sort to me. My contract at the school is coming up for renewal, and maybe it would be a mercy if they don't renew it just because of the budget.

I started library school last semester, taking three courses, and got fine grades. Now I am taking only two courses, but I am getting hammered in one of them. It is a highly conceptual and analytical cataloging course, and there is often only one right way to do things: it is library science with the emphasis on "Science."

I feel stupid, a feeling that I have been unaccustomed to since eighth grade math, a philosophy course or a chemistry course (distribution requirement in college). I am a humanities person. In fact, I have a Ph.D. in history. I want to work in an academic library, but I'm afraid that if I don't get an "A" in cataloging, I won't be able to do this. I am getting B's on assignments and these are the worst grades I have got in a long time (high school, college, graduate school). I'm afraid that the 700-level courses I start on next year will be too hard.

(Another reason that I feel stupid is that last year I published an academic book -- the remnant of my History degree work -- that has sunk like a stone. I feel that I've wasted five years' work.)

I am having trouble noticing and recalling the significant details in the detail-heavy cataloging course. I have all the symptoms of ADHD and it is because my day job is a war zone. My guilt and anxiety are also contributing. I am no longer interested in ideas and unable to focus on them. I feel that the job is literally destroying my brain.

Should I quit my job? I have living arrangements and a year's savings to finish my education with. However, I am not sure of finding another job at the present time. I would be lucky to find a much lower paying job or unpaid internship in an academic library. I don't want to have to explain to future employers that I quit my job just because of "stress."

Should I keep the job but see a therapist? I already am on an antidepressant and I don't want more meds. I realize that I am in need of positive self-talk (since I have unrealistically high expectations of myself).

I hate my job, but will I hate myself if I quit it?

Viola — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 11:40:58 -0800

I hate hate hate hate my job. It's killing me, every day, to know that I work for people who have no interest in my well-being while I create utter, meaningless drivel. I don't think I can do this anymore. But I might have an escape. Is it reasonable to quit in light of the economy and the inevitable instability of switching to freelance writing and babysitting? I've been the editor-in-chief of a small nightlife magazine for almost a year. As I have no other staff aside from two part-time interns, I'm also the fact-checker, editorial assistant, managing editor, and online publisher. The "magazine" is owned by a nightlife marketing company, so I'm basically writing long, mindless copy for their sponsored parties. I used to think this was a great opportunity, or something that at least looked good on my resume, but recently I've realized that I hate editing, hate my job, and don't really care to succeed in this industry. I'm going back to school to get a PhD in English so I can write and teach. I figured I'd continue this job to pay the bills until grad school plans coalesced later in the year, but things have taken a turn for the worse and I'm literally struggling to not cry in the bathroom every hour.

The company is struggling, like many, but their recent "adjustments" to save money have made my life hell. They cut down on my already barely-livable wage, have patently refused to insure me or put me on the payroll, and are counting me as a "freelancer" for tax purposes even though I have no freelancing rights and would be fired if I ever decided to not come into work in order to take another freelancing gig. They've cut down my hours to 10-4 but have saddled me with an unfeasible amount of work to complete in the allotted time. While they refuse to hire any help on my end, they've just hired an assistant for the boss's son who makes twice my salary. As they slashed their freelance budget, I'm expected to write, edit and publish at least 4 500-word articles a day, and my brain is fried. The articles are terrible, and I've taken my name off the bylines so no one can trace them back to me. I'm trying to study for the GRE and have been forced to freelance and babysit on the side to make ends meet, but I'm so drained from the ridiculous work load that I can barely stay awake at the end of the day.

Meanwhile, I have an extensive background in nannying, which pays better than my current job, though switching over might be less stable in the beginning. I really enjoy nannying and feel energized at the end of the day, not homicidal. I also enjoy freelance writing, because I get to write well and on my own terms rather than shoveling the palaver of my company into a terrible website that no one even reads. I already have a lot of babysitting contacts and freelance writing gigs to carry me over until the GRE in March, and quitting now would allow me the mental resources to actually study.

Today I opened up my calendar and realized there was just no way I could complete my huge work load in the amount of time I am paid to be here, that I cannot stay late to finish my work due to my other jobs, and that I am going to have a mental breakdown if I am expected to continue at this pace, on this salary, hating my job and hating 5 out of every 7 days a week while ruining my ability to adequately prepare for grad school applications. This feeling has only intensified after realizing that an editorial job isn't going to further my career plans.

I'm going to redress this specific instance of tax evasion on my own so I'm not shouldering all my taxes plus the added freelancer's tax. And sure, it's just a job, and lots of people will argue that jobs aren't supposed to make you feel warm and fuzzy. That's fair. But I hate my life. I see a possible escape. I want to quit, tomorrow, and start over. I already have babysitting jobs and a couple freelance pieces lined up. Maybe the reason this all looks so feasible is because I want so badly for a way out, and can't tell if I'm being ungrateful and unrealistic. I would have quit already, but the guilt of quitting an editorial job when they are so rare and coveted (even though my job degrades the concept of "editorial") in the midst of The Second Great Depression seems stupid.

So, is it insane to quit a job in the middle of economic ruin just because you hate it? Because I feel like I literally won't be able to come into work tomorrow unless I know it's my last day, but maybe I just need to saddle up and recognize that I'm just lucky to have a paycheck. I really don't anymore. Sorry for the long rant and thanks so much in advance.

And sorry for the length and rantiness of this post. I wrote this last night at midnight after babysitting and today I'm too busy to actually edit its Joyceian train of thought.

I got a new boss and my previously near-perfect job has changed significantly (in a bad way). Should I quit?

Anonymous — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 13:22:45 -0800

I've been at my tiny non-profit for over three years. Last summer I got a new boss who's changed the workplace from a fairly egalitarian, self-managed environment to an autocratic, micro-managed one. For instance, I used to have a modicum of creative control over the media and newsletter I produced and now I have none. Folks keep saying I should talk to her but she's very dominant and she informed me the first week she came on the job that she's a micro-manager. I'm not paid well enough to stay if I'm not enjoying myself, but I am highly invested in the people we serve and keep imagining that maybe I'll adjust and she'll chill and we'll be able to go back to "the way it was". Am I hoping against hope? Anyone been to the other side?

How can I quit?

Anonymous — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 17:27:42 -0800

Where to go from here? I feel crazy to consider quitting my job in this market environment, but I'm going crazy sticking with it. Please help! I've been working at firm for about 6 months. Since my first week of work, I have been miserable but have persevered to give things a chance to get better.

But, they just haven't. Despite my efforts to stay positive, relax, and take things one day at a time.

The specific position I was promised in my offer letter never materialized due to "the economic slowdown" and "changes in the firm." I've tried to adjust and work on projects in other areas, but the passion is missing and my work product suffers. Frankly, it's embarrassing and has been snowballing. I did a summer internship with the firm which I enjoyed greatly, but find my work and responsibilities now to be different from what they were then (much less was expected of me in the summer, particularly in the areas where I was weak). Now, with new responsibilities, I feel a great deal of stress weighing down on me daily. I feel ill-prepared to meet new challenges and others in the firm are polite and try to help me, but are often not able to give me the direction I need.

My diet has taken a real turn for the worse and exercise, which I once enjoyed and sought out daily, has been pushed out due to late nights and exhaustion. I'm also battling depression and anxiety that keep me up even later at night, leading to sleep deprivation. I've become angry and violent - mostly towards myself. I find it extremely difficult to stay on task, often waste time, and constantly dread receiving a new assignment for fear that I will fail *again*. I feel like a huge failure.

It seems I am not well suited for my position. I graduated with a degree in finance from a prestigious undergraduate institution and got good grades, but my real passions lie in writing and language. I spent a year abroad and loved it, but had a hard time finding a job abroad without experience (and have a longtime SO here who's happy and not looking to relocate). I also did internships in tech and journalism that gave me great satisfaction. I'd love to go back to school, further develop those areas, and retool my career/life. However, I'm afraid I spent too much time studying in undergrad and not enough time developing relationships with professors, so letters of recommendation might be hard to come by. And with only 6 months of experience under my belt (though I've had 3-4 summer summer internships at large firms), I'm not sure where I could land a new position, particularly with my degree (finance/computer/language minor). The possibility of exchanging a $60K salary + bonus and health benefits for uncertainty frightens me, but I'm also scared of the ill effects of this job on me mentally and physically.

Thanks if you've read this far. Please help me figure out where to go from here. I'm lost.

What happens when you're the last nonprofit gal standing?

vindyloo — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 21:51:31 -0800

NonprofitChaosFilter: The grants fell through, and I'm the last full-timer in an office of 2. What's the most ethical thing to do when I'm the last employee left, there's no money left, and I've become the director's right-hand gal? I'm working for a nonprofit that's just barely able to patch itself together. Nine months ago, I started off as the communications manager, but as of today I'm covering everything from booking plane tickets to washing dishes. Should I tell my boss that I'm unhappy in the midst of chaos, or just wait it out until I find a better job?

The first week I was hired, our office manager quit due to funding issues (her hours having been cut back to 8 per week--whee!). She was replaced by a part-time intern who, although quite a scholar, has no real background in office management. Another volunteer is covering payroll and accounting, and this person barely returns phone calls. Creditors are calling. The office is a wreck. We're chasing after grants to keep the boat afloat. To say morale is low is an understatement.

The executive director is a very hard-headed innovator who has kept the organization afloat for over 15 years. He's known for his creative drive, his sense of humor, his generosity, and his mercurial temper-- he flies off the handle, makes snap decisions, and defies the board (AKA his friends) in the name of keeping the organization (all 2 of us, ha!) alive. Today, it's just me and him in a small office. Every day, it's a new financial crisis--lots o' screaming on a regular basis (not directed toward me, just toward funders/grantors/creditors), coupled with episodes of crying and swearing. I'm 33 years old, and this is not working for me.

I took the job because the organization is involved in multimedia community work that I was very inspired by, and that I was very interested in learning more about. However, the environment has deteriorated to the degree that it's impossible for me to learn much more than scattershot last-minute grant-writing and creatively-strung-together curse words. I'm burned out and ready to move on.

The director is leaning on me a lot these days, and now that I'm the lone staffer, the expectations and demands are very high. Despite his propensity to anger, I honestly like the guy--he's got a hilarious sense of humor and he has been very generous and caring to me during this time (paying for lunches, including me in social events, remembering birthdays, etc.). Is there anything to be gained by being honest with him about how the dicey and chaotic financial situation is affecting me, or should I wait until I find another job, and then break the news? (I've been searching for work since this started to unfold ...)

How to switch companies?

Anonymous — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 13:37:35 -0800

Controversial Job Change: Family business broke up, 1/2 the family left current company to start competing business. Considering the bad blood, how do I make a switch to the other team? Background:
I have been working for a family business for the past 5 yrs. When I started, I was hired by one of the owner's children. At that time, the company was a complete family affair (parents and children).

Approx 1.5 yrs after I started, the parents got a divorce. At the same time, the family split and 2 children not-so-secretely went off to start a competing company. Currently, There is bad blood between the 2 halves. The person who hired me, my boss at the time, was one of the children that left. I truly enjoyed working for them and agree with their vision, business model, and values.

Current:
The company they started up is ready to take me on as an employee. The position would be a promotion and I would be entering on the first floor of a growing company. If it is successful, I stand to do very well. I am very excited at the prospect of being able to help shape the development of a company.

I've decided to take the risk and made a commitment to moving to the start-up.

Problem:
How do I leave my current job?

In an effort to be honest, I feel I need to tell my supervisor (non family member) why I am leaving and where I am going. I feel he knows that it's business and will congratulate me. Once the owners get wind of this, I feel they will fire me, or just ask me to leave. The thing is, I would like the time to train someone to takeover my position. My coworkers and I work in a sort of "team" and my leaving would negatively affect them until a replacement can be found or trained.

Does anyone have experience with something like this? Should I just leave the ball in the owner's court? I feel an ethical obligation to not leave my coworkers hanging.

Thanks for any help.

Is my employer legally obligated to compensate for unused vacaction when I quit (in British Columbia)?

Anonymous — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 13:37:32 -0800

Leaving a job in British Columbia soon with two weeks unused vacation. Is my employer legally obligated to compensate me for this time? I get two weeks paid vacation per year and thus far, I have used none of it. I know some places in the US require employers to pay out unused vacation, but I'm wondering if BC has similar legislation.

I can't seem to put the right combination of terms into Google. I'm finding plenty of stuff for specific unions or organizations, but nothing in general. I work for a small company and don't belong to a union or anything like that. I've been working here since about this time last year. I'm leaving of my own free will, definitely not being fired or anything like that. Thanks!

refreshrefreshrefresh

mustcatchmooseandsquirrel — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 10:26:29 -0800

Should I quit my job? I've been working at an IT Help Desk/Computer Lab type job for the last three years. It is pretty boring aside from refreshing AskMeFi relationship questions and fixing printers and software. Since I graduated from college, I am only allowed to keep working there until August 20. I really want to just quit after next week because I've come to dread having to sit at a computer for nine hours a day with not much else to do.

The thing is, if I didn't quit, I would make ~$400 in the extra two weeks I'd be working. That's not a trivial amount of money for me but I don't necessarily need it. Additionally, the job is slightly changing management at the end of this week so the future seems annoying at best.

So, metafilter, how much is $400 really worth? Should I quit my job or just stick it out for an extra two weeks?

Getting fired on Monday, how should I handle it?

blackout — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 08:21:23 -0800

I've come to understand from co-workers as well as things that have gone on this past week, that I will be getting fired on Monday. How should I handle it? Much more after the jump. So here's a rundown of what's happened.
A few months ago, my boss sat me down and had a conversation with me about not answering my phone (and when I say my phone, I mean my cell phone, that I pay the bill for) when he calls. Sometimes I would go three to five days of not answering the phone when he called. Now I never did it out of spite, it just happened. Now keep in mind that I only get paid for billable time with customers (kinda like a lawyer I guess), I don't get paid when I'm home at 10pm when he calls sometimes nor do I get paid when I'm siting in the office in between customers scheduled times when he calls.
My thinking is that because I don't get paid to answer the phone there should be times when I don't have to answer it or return his call right away, especially those times when I'm not in the office, have the day off, or it's outside of normal business hours. I don't think many people would argue with me on that train of thought.
Well after he sat me down about the issue of me not answering my phone when he calls, I said I would do better at answering my phone. I left the meeting with him seeming much happier as I am his best and most valuable employee (out of three).
Fast forward a few months, and things with the business have slowed down quite a bit, to the point where the last time I worked was this past Tuesday (the 8th) for one hour. The rest of the time I've been [in essence] off, because I have no scheduled appointments with customers. Now with this time off, I've been doing a lot of things to keep myself busy (riding a motorcycle I just bought, exploring the city I moved to in Sept. that I haven't had a chance to because I've been working so much, and hanging out with a girl I meet), which most of the time keeps me from answering my phone [when anyone calls]. I just looked at my phone and he called me a total of 7 times since Tuesday, all of the missed calls [I didn't answer]. He never leaves a voice mail, never sends a text about what the calls about. I've tried to return his calls 4 times in the same time frame, every time I get his voice mail (where I leave a message "Hey *boss name*, it's *my name* just returning your call."), which is somewhat ironic I think.
Now come Friday while speaking to a coworker I'm told that the boss is pissed at me and I need to get in touch with him (this conversation was at 11:30pm which is in my opinion too late to call my boss), so the next day I call him a total of 7 times and send him 1 text message, all of which are never responded to (because at this point, he's already made up his mind to fire me). That evening (Sat. the 12th) I drive down to my office around 7pm, as that's where my motorcycle is stored, because I was gonna go for a ride. I get to the office and my key no longer works. He's changed the locks.
At this point it's clear to me that I'm fired, but the boss has never said anything to me, I've just been putting things together from what another coworker has been saying and he's not saying much, trying to stay out of the middle of it all.
The boss told this coworker to tell me that there is a "mandatory meeting 9am Monday", where I presume he will fire me.
Now to the questions is, how do I handle this? I don't really care about the job, it doesn't bother me to lose it. Honestly I think the whole situation is rather comical. I already have a new job in the works lined up more money, being my own boss, etc.
I've not been paid for the last two weeks (we get paid weekly and he's failed to pay me). I want to make sure I get my pay as well as all my belongings.
How should I react to the boss when he fires me? Should I be mad or should I just make it clear that I don't give a hoot? Should I give him a peace of my mind for having sub par equipment and putting my life at risk? Should I even let him finish if he starts to dig into me, or should I just says "Write my checks while I get my personal belongs."
I've never been fired before and honestly I can't think of a better first firing situation, I'm just looking for the best way I can handle it.

Have you kicked the habit in a group?

parmanparman — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 18:42:25 -0800

Has anyone successfully used Nicotine Anonymous to quit smoking? Tell me your story... If you went through the three month program of meetings and got the chips and everything, what was it like, how did you enjoy the experience, and are you still smoke-free? Also, now that you are smoke-free, do you still attend the meetings? I saw a meeting near my office and want to try it out later in the week. Tell me what to expect and how to make the best go of the opportunity to end my nicotine addiction for good.

(You can fill the thread with other advice, but I've tried every other goddamn thing, so you really don't have to bother. Thanks in advance.)

How do I resign politely?

Brittanie — Sat, 03 May 2008 06:30:58 -0800

Writing a resignation letter and quitting gracefully in a slightly slippery situation I am a part-time temporary employee who was hired for a project that wraps at the end of June. The job has not been as flexible as I was led to believe it would be, and I would like to quit at the end of May, a month before I am expected to leave.

I plan on writing a resignation letter and giving them two-weeks notice. There is some possibility I may be interested in a full-time position at this place of business sometime in the future, so I don't want to burn any bridges. However, I have a feeling my boss will not take my early departure as very good news. I am *not* under any kind of contract to stay there. Here are my questions:

I have never written a resignation letter before. Any advice? Do I have to say why I'm leaving? i plan to make it as polite and gracious as possible because in general I have enjoyed this job.

How does one deliver such a letter. I ask because I am not very good at confrontation and would like to avoid it if at all possible while still maintaining my dignity.

How do I respond if my boss makes my last two weeks unpleasant? I have a feeling this could happen but I am going to do my best to take the high road from the start and I hope she does too.

Should I stay or go back?

bobber — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 19:26:46 -0800

Should I keep the job or go back to school? This November, my father fell and broke his hip. I decided that I would stay home for a semester or two to help out around the house and to be with my father so that he would not become depressed during his healing at home. Since I was going to be home for several months, I needed some form of employment. Through my mother, I was able to find a job with my county in Voter's Registration. It's a job and nothing more. It is a part time job that will become full time during elections and primaries(my county has a primary in June). It could also become more than full time if things get in a crunch. I file papers and stamp voter's registration cards with my boss's signature all day. I was told by Human Resources on several occasions that the job would be one year . It would end sometime in January and Febuary after the November elections. I was okay with that because I was seeing dollar signs and not the boring tedium of my job.

The problem: I miss school. I want to go back so bad it's all I can think about. I miss "being educated" and I miss my friends. I also don't want to take a full year off from school. Am I obligated to stay the entire year? I am working under at-will employment in the state of South Carolina. Also, would it be wrong/ethical to leave in September right before their busiest time in November?

I want to quit my frustrating job and become a shareware developer - will this work?

Anonymous — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 17:41:57 -0800

My job is boring and frustrating. I worry I'm wasting my life. I want to quit and write shareware for a living. Is this a sane idea? My situation: I'm 24, have a (very good) university degree in computer science, and have been working at a small software company for the past eleven months. Previously, I had five-month stint at another software company, which I quit because the two-hour commute was eating my life.

Now I'm not very happy at my workplace. The state of our source code is disastrous, and I spend much of my time trawling through obtuse un-commented code, repressing a desire to scream in frustration. The requirements I'm given are fuzzy at best, and I spend a lot of time worrying that it's impossible to do my work properly and being bored and unmotivated. Then I get angry at myself for being so unmotivated, and tell myself that my job's not that bad compared to many others'.

I do have to say that the people are pretty nice, my manager is a sensible person, and they have really treated me fairly.

But I'm painfully worried that I'm throwing away the best years of my life - there's not much scope to rise in the company, and my work is unlikely to become more interesting or less frustrating.

I've been thinking about throwing off my employment-shackles and becoming self-employed. I have a bunch of ideas for shareware games and utilities, and I definitely have the skills to write them. I also have enough money in the bank to (realistically) keep me afloat for ten months with no income. I also have no interest at all in making lots of money. I just want enough to house, feed and clothe myself, and pay for a cinema ticket every once in a while.

What's keeping me from doing the leap is that the one time I previously attempted to write a shareware utility, it was a complete dud - 500 hours of work for a $10 program bought by 40 users. The other problem is that I tend to suffer from SAD, and don't want to have to completely rebuild my routine in the middle of winter. So either I have to quit soon, or wait a year. Another problem is that because of my already somewhat checkered employment history, quitting now may make it hard to find a job again if my self-employment experiment fails. (With five months at one company, twelve at another, and say nine being self-employed.)

So I'm torn between thinking "I'm wasting my life here, let's get out" and "but I will just fall flat on my face and fail". In reality, there's a spectrum of options I could pursue:

1. Give in my two weeks' notice on Monday morning.
2. Ask to work 60% part-time on Monday morning (allowing me to slowly transition to self-employment). They'll probably say no though, because they need me too much.
3. Wait for a few months, see if any of my side projects come to fruition. Quit when something succeeds, even if it's the middle of winter.
4. Wait for a whole 12 months, accumulating ludicrous amounts of spare money, and staying at my company for a CV-respectable time, then quit.
5. Never quit, stay with the company until I die of old age.

I wish I could talk to an older, wiser self who could tell me what is the right thing to do in the long run. In the absence of time machines, I ask you, MeFiItes - have you been in a similar situation? What did you do? Did you regret it? Do you work in freelancing/shareware? Is my dream possible? Am I being whiny about my perfectly OK job, or being clear-headed about my life situation?

How do I get a new job ASAP?

Anonymous — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 18:23:59 -0800

So I just quit my job at the local cookie cutter super book store (think Barnes and Noble... except not). How do I get a new job pronto and make rent this month? The job at the store was awful for a number of reasons so I walked out the other day. My rent is about $700 per month. I'm a recent college grad with a degree in film. I live in Los Angeles. I've been calling temp agencies but no one has been calling me back. Basically I need a new job ASAP, specifically a full time one and that will be enough to pay rent (and $80/month in student loans). This is stressing me out hardcore, anyone have any words of advice? If there's anything you want to send me over email hit me up at mefiteanon@gmail.com.

How do I gracefully quit this job?

Anonymous — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 15:48:56 -0800

I need help with formatting a resignation letter. It's a bit complicated. I work for a major medication corporation as an IT geek. I've been working here for a few months, after graduating from school this past year. It's a good job with a good pay, far higher than other companies offered me, but it's almost time for me to leave.

I've always wanted to have my own business, and I've finally hit upon an opportunity that I've grabbed that will let me make about 2/3 of what I'm making now, with only 1/2 of the work (officially). Unofficially, I'll be working a few hours a week, and the rest will be free for me. It's an IT contract with an old client of mine, and very lucrative and an awesome opportunity. Between that, my other IT work and a writing business that I'm starting to be overwhelmed with work in, I'm finally in a position to quit my job and make as much and more money than I'm making working my current 8-5.

So, Hive Mind, tell me, how do I write a letter to these nice people who gave me this job? It was a real blessing, and I would have been out on the street if not for it. But I'm through with it. I want my last day to be on or close to January 1st, and I want to draft a letter to give to them in a couple of weeks to prepare for that date. My trouble is that I've only worked here for a few months, we're going through performance reviews/next year's goals and I do, to tell the truth, feel a little bit bad for being here for such a short time and then leaving. But it is a big place, and though the IT department doesn't have a huge turnover, the place as a whole does, I'm sure.

What do I say? Do I tell them thank you for the job? Do I tell them about my businesses? Do I ask them to keep me in mind if they have any contract work they need done? This is my first *real* job, and my first resignation letter I'll be writing, so any help would be greatly appreciated.

(Note: Please don't suggest I stay here any longer. I really hate working for a company, I can't stand working under unnatural light and looking at a grey cube all day and I've worked my arse off the past few months every spare moment I've had to make myself opportunities to get out of here, and I'm not staying any longer than I have to. I *love* working for myself and I'm so excited about doing it. I just need help figuring out how to write a resignation with these slightly odd circumstances in mind.)

Scamel Lights?

phaedon — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 12:09:16 -0800

Is it possible to quit smoking through hypnosis? Over the years, I've half-assed my way through every form of treatment for smoking. Gum, patch, Allen Carr, Wellbutrin, phone consultations, cold turkey will power... I can make it a couple of days without smoking. Now I'm the last person to think that hypnosis works, but I've gotten to the point where I'm convinced there's something wrong in my head that keeps me from quitting. I detest the habit; I hate the way it makes me smell, I hate the energy drain, and my SO hates it, too. I definitely smoke in response to high-stress situations; no matter what program I'm in, or what I'm taking, if something really good or bad happens, I have to have a cigarette. In those moments, there's nothing I can do to prevent a relapse.

I found this website that offers a one-hour hypnosis session that guarantees that I will quit smoking afterwards. My desire to quit smoking is really high, but I feel so helpless to the addiction, that I'm willing to try anything. Am I falling for a scam, or could this really work?

What's worse, being at a job for too long or not long enough?

doppleradar — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 08:53:55 -0800

What's worse, being at a job for too long or not long enough? Does it look worse to stay at the same company w/ no advancement/raise for 2+ yrs, or to make a move somewhere else but not stay there longer than a year?

I'll be applying to Law School in Dec 2008 (exactly 1 yr after I graduate), but don't want to shoot my resume in the foot if the worst-case happens and I don't get in anywhere good.