My long-distance girlfriend and I are going to try a roleplay D/s esque scenario where she's the Popstar and I'm their protégé/assistant/houseboi type person. What sort of things could we do over distance? [more inside]
We're looking to relocate our family and have narrowed down our options (with the help of Metafilter) to Buenos Aires (Argentina), Toronto (Canada) and Melbourne (Australia). We've done our due diligence with on-line research, but we'd like to hear some personal anecdotes/experiences from people who've lived, worked or traveled to any of the above. [more inside]
Almost three years ago, we asked for suggestions of family-friendly, queer friendly, and senior friendly locales to set down roots. In light of recent events we'd like to revisit the question, but with a specific focus on areas outside the USA - though if you know of/live in a particularly staunch bastion of of our criteria on our native soil, we'd still like to hear about it! [more inside]
I know there are one or two posts on AskMe on this, but the last one was posted 2012 so I figure an update is due. [more inside]
I facilitate an LGBTQ+ teen support group that meets weekly, and next week we're renting a space with an auditorium and projector so that we can watch a short film and chat about it afterwards. What do we watch? [more inside]
Can anyone recommend resources for people whose pregnancies and related other life changes messed with their sexual orientation and/or gender identity? [more inside]
Having established that we both like Owen Pallett, please tell me what else you like that seems Owen Pallett-esque. [more inside]
I'm looking for more of these stylish little online shops that sell well-designed queer merchandise. I'm thinking the Autostraddle store or Otherwild or the Gender Is Over campaign. No luck Googling for this — I just get a bunch of cheesy t-shirts with rainbow unicorns and bad puns.
I'm a gay man in a relationship with a closeted man. We've been dating for a few months, going out to dinner and to movies, texting each other for an hour or two every night, talking about all sorts of things ... but things could be going better. (NSFW) [more inside]
What personal development strategies/hacks would you recommend for somebody preparing to adopt as a single working mother in 3-4 years? Special snowflakes inside, general advice welcome too! [more inside]
I'm looking for interesting, engaging podcasts about queer lives and stories, less news or politics, more art and culture and "This American Life" style tales of life. Also interested in podcasts with queer hosts that might have other focus areas. Failing both of those, specific queer episodes of more general podcasts also welcome. Thanks!
I'm gay and my husband and I are concerned about the safety of our 13-year-old niece who is in a relationship with another girl. My husband's brother and sister-in-law have reacted very poorly to learning about this. What we can do for his niece? [more inside]
For my 30th birthday, I'm planning a week-long trip to Mexico City with my partner. We both have some concerns about physical/emotional safety, especially for her as a trans WOC. I'm looking for advice and anecdotes from people with experience being brown (as a tourist/non-native) and/or queer in Mexico City. [more inside]
Please recommend a crossfit gym for me to drop in to while I'm home in NY for the holidays. Would prefer a very queer friendly, feminist, inclusive, supportive community. I'll travel anywhere for best fit, but I'll be staying in Westchester and Astoria.
I'm terrified of loneliness and terrified of dating. Needless to say, I'm wound up most of the time. What can I do about this? [more inside]
How can I feel more comfortable around men, and find men who are gentle and solid and who I might like to date (as a queer/bi trans woman)? [more inside]
My partner and I are visiting Denver next week! Can you offer recommendations for places we should visit or advice on things we should look out for while we're in town, keeping in mind we are evaluating it as a potential place to live? (Bonus if you have queer culture recommendations!) [more inside]
Where can I find inspiration for planner decoration that is geared towards various alternative/weirdo types - e.g. queers, geeks, artists, activists, certain subcultures? [more inside]
Looking for beautifully written, beautifully performed fantasy audiobooks available on Audible.com. A skilled reader is key. If possible, I love when the book is less a reading and more a performance, like the exquisite Listening Library performance of The Golden Compass. But I will settle for a great narrator. The delightful British narrator of Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, skilled in multiple accents, is my favorite so far. [more inside]
Recently I've gone on several dates where we got along really well online and talked for hours in person. However, they ended with a hug and silence afterward, which I'm disappointed about. How can I figure out if we both want to go past one-shot platonic meetings, and how do we get to where we want to go? [more inside]
My little queer family is driving down to the Wilmington, NC area from the DC area and we are looking for tips for places to stop every few hours (small kids) that are also "safe" for a very visibly queer family. [more inside]
Asking for a friend: Any leads on what this book might be? "Two girls become friends. Girl #1 realizes she's gay and gets a girlfriend, through which girl #2 realizes she's in love with girl #1. They lose touch until years later, when they are both grown. One plays the flute and rides horses, one is a famous sculptor. They fall in love and start living together. At some point, aliens are introduced and give folks on earth pills that allow them to achieve immortality for as long as they are taken."
I had the idea that I'd like to create a custom calendar, titled "The Queer Agenda," with holidays and events of note relating to queer history. I would like to do so in a Print on Demand shop where people who like the concept can buy it in variations of school planner and wall calendar. Zazzle and Cafe Press will let me choose pictures and title text, but not day-to-day text, and they also only do wall calendars. This will not work. Many companies like Modern Postcard, Vistaprint, and Snapfish will let me customize days, but they do not offer print on demand designer storefronts. Any recommendations for services that might work better or ideas for how to proceed?
An acquaintance of mine needs resources to help one of her students who is being bullied for being (apparently) LGBTQ. Details inside. [more inside]
How does one navigate sex work or sexological bodywork as a female client in the United States? [more inside]
I am a 31yo queer woman who is considered fairly masculine presenting in my daily life (I am frequently addressed as "sir" by waiters, customer service people, etc, and many never realize their mistake). I'm headed to Cameroon for the first time for a business/research trip and I want to be received well, which I unfortunately suspect means changing my gender presentation. I would love tips and tricks, and support, particularly for people who have been to West Africa before. [more inside]
My hair's grown out a bit over the last two months, but I haven't been in one place long enough to get a cut. But now I'm in Asheville! For a week! So now I just need to a) find a place to get my hair cut, and b) what sort of hair would look right, given all my snowflake tendencies? [more inside]
Are you or were you part of a GSA or other LGBTQ organization in school? I'm a teacher starting a Gay-Straight Alliance at my public high school with the support of the administration. [more inside]
I would like some basic, dude-styled flannel button up shirts. I'm a short, small-framed queer person who stores weight in my chest. "Men's" flannels are generally too large; "women's" often have girly details like darts and little wee pockets and dainty buttons; "boy's" would be perfect but the sleeves are invariably too short. Do you have a body like mine and a basic flannel you love? Where did you buy it? [more inside]
How can I expand the social consciousness of my book loving nieces? [more inside]
Ye olde Fleshbot was really cool because it was well curated and included all types of sexy media including videos, links, industry news, pop culture, reviews. It even had options for both queer and straight focused content. The last few years I've found that it's really gone downhill and gotten pretty mainstream and generic. [more inside]
Where is all the lesbian/queer erotica that doesn't suck? (NSFW, naturally) [more inside]
A group of us will be in town the first weekend in December. Going out in unfamiliar cities is tricky. Where do all the cool queer kids party the first weekend of the month? And by kids I mean 25-45 year olds, 90s hip hop / top 40 /songs with lyrics you probably know loving types, possibly but not necessarily hipsters who hate lining up and don’t love paying cover. Looking for a fun, unpretentious bar to drink and dance, with an approachable crowd. [more inside]
I am interested in learning to what extent individuals who identify as transexual also identify as queer or homosexual. Have there been any good studies of this? I googled but could not find much - please link me to any studies/findings about the issue.
I'll be in Seattle for 48 hours (Sunday afternoon through Tuesday afternoon) for a brief leg of a solo trip. Help me structure my time there for maximum wandery enjoyable urban exploration, with perhaps a little bit of hiking thrown in? [more inside]
I am potentially interested in dating again. I had a breakup of a 1.5 year relationship around this time last year and feel emotionally over it. However, I feel like I will have a bit more challenges in regards to dating than the average person. (I'm mostly asexual, not very feminine, and a non-traditional undergraduate student in a college town). Special snowflakes inside... [more inside]
Hi there! Where can I meet Older Lesbians in NYC who are into Younger Women? I've been scouring the internet, MeetUp, etc, but there has to be an event for this, right? NYC is supposed to have everything ;) Cheers, G
I hit the holy grail and have a new position with full benefits, including full coverage for domestic partners. I have a partner who lives with me, but we are still fairly newish and are not ready to get married. I have to enroll us in the benefits very soon, like now. The problem is, the queer tax (I guess now the Not-Legally-Married tax) on my partner's benefits. [more inside]
Where are some good places to read queer sci fi short stories? [more inside]
Lately I've been really into the blog Ribbon Around A Bomb, who writes about female-fronted 70s post-punk, Twin Peaks, feminist art, and leather jackets. I also love The Pulp Zine, which is full of teen dreams and high school small town angst, an obsession with Burger Records, 90s nostalgia, black lipstick and pink hair. I'm looking for more blogs that cover punk, garage rock, femme fun, DIY, weirdo fashion, nostalgia, queerness, creativity, feminism, art, and worship of countercultural idols. Basically, I'm a fully-grown scummy punk boyfemme who wants the experience of flipping through a teen magazine tailored to my interests. What other sites would I love? [more inside]
I got married last year (!). My husband and I are both queer, and both have a history of same-sex relationships before we met one another. This hasn't caused any problems in our own relationship, but it’s causing some unexpected confusion at our LGBT-friendly church. [more inside]
I'm in my early thirties, bisexual/queer and just ended a decade-long relationship with a cisgendered man. I'm starting to date women but haven't had sex with a woman in a decade and didn't have a lot of experience even then. I have always been a visible part of the LGBT community and most people assume I'm a lesbian, which makes people think I have more sexual experience with women than I do. I'm basically nervous about not knowing what to do anymore and being bad in bed. Questions are as follows: Should I disclose this lack of recent experience to the women I'm starting to casually date and have sex with? How can I stop being so nervous, which I know won't help? And: what does real-life lesbian safer sex look like when you're an adult and not a 23 year old with no sense of risk?
Where are all the films which have queer characters whose sexuality is not the main point of the film? Action movies with lesbian heroes; courtroom dramas with transgender lawyers; road trip movies with gay buddies out for more than getting laid; science fiction/spooky stuff films with androgynous/intersex protagonists, I'm not fussed. Preferably ones where no one dies as a "punishment" for being queer. [more inside]
Total snowstorm inside, in short my roommate for the next month has very, very different worldviews from me, does things I find offensive and might have access to a gun. He does not know that I am transgendered. [more inside]
I'm looking for thoughtful, thought-provoking blogs (and books, I guess) covering topics like queer theory, trans/gender theory, identity politics, and maybe related activism. Transmasculine/masculine of center/FTM topics especially welcome. Extreme academic jargon is not a turn-off. A few additional notes inside. [more inside]
My partner and I are pregnant and looking for a place to make our permanent home. The sitch? My parents are coming with us. And while we think it's pretty awesome of them, it's making location hunting that much more complicated. [more inside]
Looking for a place or a particular stylist who will cut my queer hair and who may even offer suggestions about style. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
What are some songs about the early years of HIV/AIDS in the US and the politics surrounding it? Think musical equivalent of something like Angels in America. [more inside]
A friend's 13 yo son has been having serious mental and behavioral problems and they haven't fully figured out why. They discovered by accident (shared electronics) that he is now identifying as bi and has expressed romantic interest in another guy his age. I'm also queer but I'm not a parent (and I grew up before the internet gave me access to Dan Savage, in a very different cultural climate). I totally know how hard it is to be a GLBTQ teenager and want to help them alleviate as much of the sexual identity stress on him as possible/appropriate. What do you feel are the best resources or advice for a parent of a gay teenager with mental health issues? [more inside]
Emory University is planning to give a distinguished alumni award to H. Eddie Fox, who has been leading the fight against the inclusion and equality of gay Methodists in the Methodist Church (among other accomplishments). Students/staff/faculty are currently mobilizing to have that award rescinded. We have less than a week left. What is the most effective way to pressure Emory to rescind that award? [more inside]