Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with quarterlifecrisis

What's a good career move for me, prefer travel?

photo guy — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 14:08:05 -0800

What's a good career move for me? Forgive the length, as I've been giving this a lot of thought and really need to resolve this. I'm a bit unhappy with my career and have been for a while now. As it happens, I'm at a point in my life where I can make a clean break and chase my dreams, I just need some guidance.

My history: I'm 29 years old, single, no kids, and up until I was laid off earlier this year was working as an engineer. I don't have a lot of money or possessions, but have very little debt. I also own a house that I'm renting out to make some extra money. I should also mention that I'm not really the typical engineer - much more outgoing, hate being in a cubicle all day, and get bored easily.

The past five years I've spent working for a small design firm, basically writing software for cheap electronics - mostly two-way radios. I'm not a very skilled programmer (Assembly and C, that's it), found the work too stressful, and am honestly surprised I lasted there as long as I did. Before that, I spent a couple of years pulling cable for a telecom company - mostly grunt work, but worth mentioning.

Despite my misgivings in college, I finished my BS in Electrical Engineering since I was always a math/science whiz. I did reasonably well I think, given how hard the program was.

What I'm looking for: What I would really like is a job that allowed me to live abroad, or at least travel frequently. I've taken a few extended trips over the past few years, and am convinced that's what I should be doing. If I have to work stateside for the next couple of years, I would prefer to be able to at least live in another part of the country. I've been living in the same mid-sized Midwestern city my whole life, and for reasons I won't go into here, would really like a change of scenery.

What I've considered/been suggested so far:

Foreign Service - This would be perfect! I'm applying as an SEO, but have been given the impression that I will most likely not get medical clearance (which is very stringent) due to a minor condition I have to take medication for.

Other federal jobs - I've contacted a few three-letter agencies (CIA, FBI, etc), but haven't heard anything back yet. I don't know if there are any other government jobs out there that fit what I'm looking for.

Military - I'm not really the military type, but I haven't ruled it out completely.

Teaching English - Not exactly a career I would want long-term, but at least it would get me out of the States for a while.

Any other suggestions? I'm open to re-schooling if necessary (although paying for it could be an issue).

At least I don't want to major in Sculpture.

lhude sing cuccu — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 18:58:21 -0800

Quarter life crisis. Help me decide what I can do with unmarketable interests? I am a sophomore in college. I recently decided that I have to start making career decisions soon, and that I thought, among all the choices I've considered, that I might like to be a college professor.
Problem: I love the humanities, not business finance or biochemistry. Luckily, I don't particularly like history or English, but I've been ignoring my other classes this semester in favor of, you guessed it: philosophy.
I have been gradually learning however that philosophy and teaching don't mix. So, I decided "hey! I don't hate "law", I guess, I could go to Law School, that must pay the bills, right?
No (I soon learned).
I feel like I am getting pushed down at every turn, hearing horror stories this way and that! "You'll never find a job!" "Tenure is such a rat-race!" "There's 10 million unemployed PhD's out there! Especially in philosophy!" etc.

I don't need $100,000 a year, but I don't want to be working part-time just to be an adjunct faculty when I'm 35 and making $17,500 per year altogether.

Sure, I just got this "teaching" idea recently, and who knows? "Hopefully" I will hate philosophy by next semester. But it was the first "good" idea I've had, and now it's pretty much dead.

Help me think of alternate ideas before I get too attached to this one, unless it can even be resuscitated?

More personal information:
1. My favorite things about philosophy are the least applicable parts: Epistemology, Do we have free will?, etc.
2. I learned that I like the theoretical and abstract. I like math (but only the numbers, not the graphs...and I'm bad at it anyway), but not science (maybe chemistry...but only the equations).
3. Maybe I don't really like law like I thought I could. I think I might like economics; I like CNBC even when I don't know what they're talking about.
4. I've come to the decision that I could work for some corporation if I had to; just looking at the pictures on colleges' Business Department webpages though makes me realise I'd never fit in (so clean cut!)
5. I also like French, and was going to minor in it until I decided to spend all my credits on philosophy and try to graduate with Honors so I can go to a good graduate school...I know, I'm looking too far ahead. The point is, I wouldn't even mind moving to France.
6. I wouldn't mind either not having that secure job until I'm old and grey (aka 35), and I'm thinking I do want to go to graduate school (anything to make me feel like I won't still be making $25,000 at 50, like my mom) ... but teaching sounds so ... harsh ...

More debt please!

Team of Scientists — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 15:50:38 -0800

I don't want to pursue a career in the field for which I received my degree. Help guide my search for a grad school field. I just finished an undergrad electrical engineering degree. Recently I came to the realization that I'm just not that interested in EE (well, at the very least I'm not interested in DSP). I'd like to choose a new career path and start prepping for grad school.

Here are the paths that I have considered so far:

Urban Planning

Pros: AskMeFi actually sparked my interest in planning in a question I read a while ago. Someone said something about being interested in data/statistics and maps, which are things that interest me. As does the notion that I can work toward effecting change in an area socially, economically or environmentally. I understand that this is probably the mindset of many bright-eyed planning students for whom reality gradually sets in. Regardless, I think this is a career choice that could leave me very fulfilled.

Cons: It seems that the pay is modest. I currently owe about $40k in student loans, and I'm concerned that a planner's salary wouldn't afford me the ability to live comfortably while I'm paying off my loans. The job market is also apparently rather bleak for planning right now, although it's difficult to see what the economy will be like after two years of grad school.

Patent Law

Pros: I have the requisite engineering degree already. I can attend a less competitive school that is well known for Intellectual Property/Patent Law. I have confidence in my intellectual ability, and I think I could be a very successful law student if I was willing to put in the hours. Also, this profession has potential for better pay.

Cons: Law school is notoriously difficult, and I don't think I'd want to put in the hours necessary for success. Ambition is not a character trait of mine, and I think that the profession is loaded with ambitious people.

Engineering related to Green Energy -

Pros: This is another profession that could be very fulfilling for me in the sense that I could be bettering the world around me (pardon my naivete again). I already have an EE degree. I haven't done enough research to say, but I imagine that a Masters in a technical field would attract a somewhat generous salary. Please enlighten me if I am wrong about this.

Cons: Just a lack of information. I don't really know what kind of options are out there in Green Energy. Would I go get a masters in EE? Mechanical? Chemical? Are there any engineering programs that are specifically tailored to green energy production? Also, as mentioned above, I just didn't have that much interest in DSP engineering during school (I realized this rather late when my peers were all excited about their senior projects and I was filled with dread). However, the main turnoff for me in my EE program was...well, the digitalness of digital signal processing. I don't particularly enjoy programming or working with discrete time signals. As power engineering is focused primarily (entirely?) on analog signals, I believe this won't be a problem. Again, enlighten me if I'm wrong.

I've all but ruled out law school, but I decided to leave it in here in case any IP/Patent zealots could make a compelling case for the profession. The main purpose of this post is fact-finding. Specifically, what type of person would be a strong candidate for each of these careers? Are there any related fields that you think might spark my interest?

All my friends are in relationships... and I'm not

Anonymous — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 19:16:08 -0800

How do I deal with being the only single one amongst my group of friends? I'm a guy who's been single for the last four years or so. I'm in my mid-twenties and had only one real relationship of meaning. In the mean time I've watched friends go in and out of long term relationships, sometimes in a manner that seems almost instantaneous.

Recently I've found to be most difficult is the fact that on most weekends I'm going to be on my own... And it's weird. Because even a year ago, when the situation was the same, I still felt like every weekend I didn't have to wonder if I was going to be scrambling for someone to hang out with on a Saturday night.

In the past it's been extremely hard. Like the one time I hung out with four couples over holiday and was the only single one. My fault for going into that, but the alternative was staying home and doing... nothing.

I am dating at the moment, although little if anything ever seems to come of it. I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to do/how I'm supposed to feel about the fact that I'm still young and eager for social contact but can't seem to find any in the people I hold most dear.

Lastly, it's hard for me not to feel resentment. Not that I act on it, I do my best to keep those kinds of negative feelings to myself. But a part of me does resent the fact that when my friends are single I'm always there for them to hang out with when they feel lonely and yet once they find a girlfriend, the script flips and I'm back to sitting on my ass wondering where all my friends went. I didn't think being young was supposed to be a time of solitude... But then here we are.

I want to make money this year (and learn the guitar)

saul wright — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 15:09:28 -0800

I want to spend a year or so making money and practicing guitar...separately that is. How should I do it? I want to make some money to save for travel. I also want to learn the guitar (already in the process) I don't have much holding me down at the moment. I am currently in New York City but would (and I imagine would have to) move anywhere. I have a BA in Video and Media Arts.

Since I really enjoy travel (I just got back from a month in Asia) I thought of teaching English abroad but as someone with no teaching experience and minimal foreign language skills, can I get a job that will be worth it considering I don't think I want to be a teacher later in life?

I don't think the Peace corps is right for me because 27 months is too long and I don't think I'd like all the bureaucratic government stuff you have to do. While I like the idea of volunteer type things, I really need to be making money right now. The idea of a fire lookout is exciting but I don't think I am qualified for that.

Basically, I'm willing to go anywhere, do most anything, and I can live pretty cheaply. I just want to have a little time to practice guitar and and have a chunk of change in my pocket at the end so I can travel.

So what should I do?

Soul dying, needs 100cc awesome, stat!

Willie0248 — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 10:50:03 -0800

Let's talk about interesting, adventurous, exciting, or otherwise awesome jobs that are actually attainable in today's economy. So I have a pretty stable job. I'm somewhat satisfied with it. The paychecks are nice. However, I'm hitting the part of my life where I can't help but think that my youth is being wasted behind a desk staring at a computer. I'm scared to death that contract SEO work is going to be the main theme in the story of my life.

So I've been looking around at a career change. I want some variety and excitement, but I'm not sure what's realistic right now. I don't need a huge paycheck, but I understand that getting a paycheck at all is starting to become a challenge here in the good ol' U.S., much less one in a field like what I'm looking for. Also, I'm completely open to (and expect) new training or education.

The new jobs that have jumped out at me may not be realistic at all: Scuba instructor, helicopter pilot/instructor, detective, treasure hunter, professional thief, cowboy, astronaut, or mad scientist. Alright, not all of those are reasonable, strictly speaking, but you get the idea. I'm not talking about air-quotes "adventure" like reading to inner city deaf stray dogs. I'm talking adventure like surfing a bear down a waterfall (or at least something outside with some variety).

What are some awesome jobs that are actually attainable, and how does one attain them specifically?

How can I make time slow down?

changeling — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 09:44:09 -0800

How can I make time slow down? I turn 25 today. And time is passing so quickly, I'm terrified.

I know other people are aware of this; it comes with aging. Maybe our memories condense, like a defragmented drive. I used to feel the fear occasionally -- in the dentist's chair, for example (wasn't I just here? IS THIS PURGATORY?). But for the last year or so, the fear has always been around the edges of my consciousness. Sometimes it comes on so strong I have to force it from my mind to function.

It seems like I'm always going to bed, if that makes any sense. Discovering another day has passed.

Maybe because I'm a writer now and work from home. My days are so routine. It also doesn't help that I write YA fiction, and am always looking back analytically, wistfully. I do notice time slowing when I travel, at least in the middle of the trip (did we really take that bus this morning? seems like two days ago...)

I don't really fear *Sudden Death!* maybe because as humans, we all feel a little invincible. What I fear is increasingly swift aging, and then death. It's not the physical beauty aspect of it, although that doesn't help. It's the fear that the days and nights will keep slamming together more and more quickly. I don't fear unhappiness -- in general, I'm happy. I am just afraid of time. And, if I let thoughts linger a bit longer.... death, and the possibility of nothingness. Re: religion, I'm pretty much agnostic, though I was raised episcopalian. In a nutshell, I have doubts, and then guilt over doubting.

My questions: How do you deal with it? How can I make time slow down? I know you're not magic. I know maybe I should talk to a counselor. But I also know there are mefites of all ages who must not think about this like I do.

I know, I'm only 25. But that's what scares me the most -- if I'm already aware of the acceleration, how fast will the next ten years seem? And the next ten after that?

A friend of mine asked an elderly acquaintance about this same thing. The man's reply: "Son... nowadays, Christmas comes every month." Shit.

Balancing work experience and college?

Anonymous — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 09:58:59 -0800

I am switching from full-time college with a part-time job to part-time college with a full-time job to gain more experience. I'm in the Web software development industry. How do I keep motivated and not get discouraged? I have had a part-time/full-time job since I was 15 developing a niche Web application. I've since graduated from high school and completed my freshman year at a nearby university working 30+ hrs/wk with classes 15 hrs/wk (not including studying) with a 3.5 GPA. The job is going downhill quickly with new management and many of my smart coworkers leaving for bigger out-of-state companies. If I could, I'd work somewhere else, but there isn't a lot of companies doing what I do in this area.

That's why, a few months ago, I resolved to quit the job by the end of summer to focus on getting my degree in Computer Science while living with my parents to cut expenses. I planned on doing some consulting type work, not for the money per se, but to keep my current skills.

A month ago, an ex-coworker called me asking if I'd be interested in joining their team at a company I always dreamed of working for. It's at a relatively large company in California. I decided that I should give it a shot because I have noting to lose-- and got the offer. It's definitely not over my head but it'll give me a new challenge. The job will start out using the skills I developed at my present job and I'll have the opportunity to learn more as I continue to work there. I'll get paid a lot of money and can live on my own. The people are great, I feel wanted, and the environment rocks.

The only problem is that I'm not through school yet! My friends and family think that this is a non-issue because I'm getting relevant job experience and the company will pay for school. My parents argue that continuing with school here will leave me without relevant experience when I graduate. Indeed, many of my coworkers are working below market to gain Web app experience-- and they have CS degrees from the university I have attended.

At the same time, I recognize the need for a good education. I know that the "CS theory" & math skills I have must be improved on if I want to continue a career in this field because the Web isn't going to be using my current skills forever. I plan on going to a local community college part-time with this full-time job. There is a university nearby but, of course, my admission there isn't guaranteed.

I'm concerned that I'll be a greater risk of getting discouraged with school. I'm concerned that I should be focusing on school to potentially transfer into a better school. (Basicially, that I should be a "traditional student" and not going part-time.) I'm concerned that if I don't take this job opportunity doing what I love, I'm going to regret it forever. However, I could leave this job after a year and return to the same university.

I'm looking for advice. I'm pretty much committed to taking the job right now but I'd like to get some perspective from others who have more experience than I do.

Here are a few starting points:

How do I transfer from a community college to a university as a part-time student? Should I look into online or distance education? Any gotchas? Should I be concerned about 7-10 year time limits on undergrad degrees?

Any wise words to keep me motivated to get through school and work? Will this job be an asset or a liability to applying for a university in a couple of years (think application essay and/or my knowledge gained on the job)?

Thanks everyone! You may contact me here: workingstudent@rocketmail.com

If I were a lawyer, I would do...what, exactly?

naoko — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 21:38:15 -0800

What exactly would one do as a lawyer with a background in international law (specifically human rights, refugees issues, things of that nature)? OK, here's the deal:

I'm in my early 20's and have a BA in polisci. I'm working for the gubmint, and I feel vaguely bored and dissatisfied and want to make a difference in a more concrete way. I've been on and off about the idea of law school since mid-college, but I'm not sure that I actually want to be a lawyer, and I know better than to go to law school just to fill that "holy shit, what do I do with my life???" void. As some of you may recall, I just posted a question a few weeks ago about my ill-fated interview with a political fundraising firm, so obviously I have no fucking clue what I'm doing with my life, but I keep getting drawn back to wanting to do something vaguely related to the issues in my above question. I did take a couple relevant classes in college and did some relevant volunteer work awhile back.

Anyway, I guess I'm actually asking 2 questions here.
1) My original question: If, theoretically, I had a law degree and wanted to use it for this purpose, what sort things, would I be able to do with it? How, basically, would I make that sort of background real-world applicable?
2) And also, is law actually the best thing to do here, it would it make more sense to get a masters in something? And if so, in what, exactly (international relations, public policy, and international development are all things I've considered at least briefly)?
Sorry for severely open-ended nature of question and for stereotypical "blahblah quarterlife crisis" blathering.

P.S. Yes, I know, most people go to law school thinking they want to focus on one thing, and end up focusing on something else. I suppose this could happen to me too, but let's just ignore that possibility for the moment and assume that international human rights is the only thing I could possibly be interested in.

What next?

zennoshinjou — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 08:22:53 -0800

CareerFilter: Help me decide my next step. (warning: long!) Due to a number of factors I am finding myself at a loss for what to do with my life, and I'd like any assistance/insight/etc. anyone might have to offer.

First, some context: I graduated from college 2 years ago (I'm 24) with a degree in anthropology, art history and asian studies. At the time, I had planned on going straight to grad school. Since I only half-heartedly applied I unsurprisingly was rejected everywhere. Since I have strong technical skills I told myself I would just go do IT for a year while I reapplied and got a stronger GRE score. In the interim my perspectives on the world have shifted so radically that I am almost (there is some doubt) certain that the road I wanted to walk down academically isn't for me anymore. Right now I am faced with a few dilemmas.

First Dilemma: I am a very intellectual person and I need constant stimulus. I read all day at work, and then more when I get home. At the level I'm at in the corporate world my job is far less than interesting, challenging, etc. I can't shake the feeling that I am wasting whatever talents I might have in a job that anyone can do, even though I know I need to "pay my dues."

Second Dilemma: My current job (IT auditing) might conceivably lead me into upper management due to the structure of our department, but this is only speculation. Part of me argues that its worth holding out where I am to break into more challenging work, even though that is dependent on being seen as qualified and people retiring or leaving. The catch is that my current job was done previously by people far less efficient than me, so what took that a month to do I can do in a few days, leaving the rest of the month to twiddle my thumbs (hence all the reading). My worry is that my harder technical skills are going to atrophy from disuse, so if I ever want to move back into that field I will have to play catchup (not even sure I want that though).

Third Dilemma: I'm not even sure the corporate world is for me. I am very interested in dealing with corporate challenges on a high level- I love systems analysis and working with the "big picture," I could easily see myself doing IT planning, strategy, etc. but the road from here to there is unclear in this organization or any other. I have entertained getting an MBA or pursuing education in MIS, but I'm not sure if its a worthwhile investment.

Fourth Dilemma: There is a little part of me that wants to pursue my intellectual interests, even though I know its economic suicide. I feel like I'm constantly strung up between my practical nature and far less than practical interests. I have a bad habit of seeing other options through rose-tinted glasses, so I feel like my desire for engaging with those interests as anything more than hobbies might be suspect.

So basically right now I am looking at these choices:

1. Continue where I'm at on the speculation that I could get promoted at some indeterminate time in the future even though there is no clear path for promotion and my current role is less than fulfilling.

2. Find some way to continue to work full time (I'm not in a position to stop gaining income or to work with a significant drop in income, and I prefer drowning in work anyhow) and pursue some kind of practical higher education (MBA, MIS?).

3. Throw caution to the wind and move into an entirely different field. The major issue here is dropping back to entry level salary and having no idea what that field would be.

Some more perhaps helpful information:

1. Lately I've been really interested in economics. I am very intrigued at the idea of using my propensity for systems analysis for financial gain. The only catch is less than great math skills (but I think I could learn).

2. I'm not interested in sales or anything else related.

3. My ideal job would be one where I leverage brain power to untangle complicated systems of issues to come to elegant and efficient solutions. I like to "figure things out."

4. I'm somewhat interested in working in the periphery of some creative enterprise. I enjoy creative people and pursuits and could see myself somehow slotting into an organization of that kind.

What I'm looking for: any thoughts you might have on careers that might be good for me, if in your experience biding time for potential gain is worthwhile, how hard it is to move from something specialized into something completely different, and so on.

I really want to leverage your wisdom and experience to gain perspective I am incapable of having at my age with my life experience.

Thanks!!

What's a 6month adventure that will pay for itself?

Anonymous — Tue, 01 May 2007 14:32:14 -0800

I would like to quit my job and go on a self-sustaining adventure. By self-sustaining, I mean that it would mostly pay for itself, cost very little, or both. I have money saved, but I will need it as a buffer when I return to the real world and look for a job again. For argument's sake, let's say I can put $1500 toward this adventure. My time frame is 2 months to a year. I'm open to anything from being a frieght train hobo to volunteering in a far-away country to flying to Sweden and finding a job washing dishes. I'm male, 28, and currently work in the Internets. I'm in serviceable physical shape.

I'm looking for specific suggestions. I've already got the general genres of adventure pretty well covered.

Help Me Be Irresponsible

zazerr — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 11:58:40 -0800

(Yet-Another)What-Should-I-Do-With-My-Life-Filter: I'm almost positive I want to go to law school, but that's 18 months away. Tell me, what should I do till then. Clearly I graduated this past spring from a top university with pretty decent grades. I was sure I wanted to go to law school for most of college, but study-abroad hijinx and my own stupidity prevented me from taking the lsats and applying, plus taking some time off sounded like a good idea. It was, in that I've realized I'm not qualified to do anything interesting, and law school sounds pretty much fantastic now (mmm grades=validation & direction). I have a "fellowship" at a PR firm right now, but it ends soon, and I'll be taking lsat classes up until the exam in June.

Then what? I have no lease, no significant other, and a bit of savings. Up until I apply in the Fall, I feel like I should have an application enhancing job. Am I wrong? And if I'm right, any ideas about what that would be?

And what about after that? I'm a geek and I love food, if that helps. Sure, I'd like to write a novel, but where and while doing what else? I'd love to travel, but I fear that would deplete my savings too quickly. Teaching English abroad? Work on a cruise ship? Sell drugs? Work in a bakery?

No boys allowed.

zoomorphic — Thu, 08 Feb 2007 08:50:22 -0800

Help me turn my bedroom into a sweet fort. It's my first time sleeping on a lofted bed, and every time I walk in my room I see the bare bones of a potential fort. I am already on a waiting list to get a slide that will attach at the ledge and extend to the floor, and my roommate has kindly agreed to drill a hole in the wall separating our bedrooms in order to thread a string for our tin-can phones.

So now I'm on to details. I never had a fort as a kid, and our neighborhood was equally bereft of tree houses. What do you remember about those spaces that you especially liked, and what can I do to recreate that in a tiny Brooklyn apartment? Any insights or details you can think of to make this feel authentic, or just look awesome? Unfortunately, I don't have a way to upload any pictures of my bedroom, but my loft is twin-sized and under a relatively high ceiling.

Working with numbers and people

thisjax — Fri, 02 Feb 2007 10:45:13 -0800

What makes sense as a summer job for a math and sociology major who does a little bit of everything? Alright, I've decided that it might make sense to shrug off my Peter Pan complex and find myself a summer job that has something, anything to my schooling. Here are some relevant points:

-I'm a third(ish)-year sociology and math major at a well-respected Canadian university. I have some 100- and 200-level economics courses from a former major, as well as a decent amount of computer science (Java) up to data structures and algorithms, and first year business and accounting.

-Finding any job through my school's career centre (as well as attempting to work for any major employer in my school's city) is practically useless because most of the people at my school are in co-op, and I was too at one point, but no longer am (in part) because...

-My cumulative GPA is crap. We're talking 2.7-ish as a result of more or less failing second year. My most recent semester average was a 3.3, so things are looking up.

So, where do I look? I have co-op experience as a web app developer and a sys admin/training person (both for my school, but different departments), but I haven't had a useful job since halfway through second year university. (Truth be told, I'm pretty flaky and lacking in punctuality.) I know PHP, Python and C++, and enter the occasional programming contest, but I don't have a wealth of projects in my portfolio. I'm on the board of directors for an reasonably large student corporation, so I have some business experience as well. To add to this, I've written tech articles for my university newspaper for the past few years, so technical writing isn't entirely out of the question, either.

I want to somehow roll my two majors into something vocationally useful, like marketing analysis. Failing that, I want to do something quantative or CS-related other than the web dev stuff I've been doing forever. But where do I start?

Metafilter tell me how to fix my life

lemur — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 21:35:10 -0800

January is Quarter Life Crisis Month on Ask Metafilter. I'm 24, graduated from University in May, have been at my current job for a little over two months now.

I have far too many interests and aspirations for one lifetime. I find it impossible to focus on one thing because my mind is always elsewhere. Last week I had a mini-epiphany at work and started looking up information on psychology grad school. This week I'm leaning more towards tech journalism. A little while before that I found myself looking wistfully at a field biology undergrad. On Wednesday I imagined myself a Web Developer at a small, hip, internet consultancy in the Netherlands. Academia really appeals to me. A recurring daydream is to become a doctor, which never had any appeal when my parents suggested it as a career, but which seems oddly alluring now.

In high school my highest marks were in the humanities and computer courses, and they were the courses I enjoyed the most, but I had 90s in all my subjects. I was in the gifted stream. I chose to go into a prestigious, competitive program in Engineering. My marks in Uni were spectacularly bad - I ended up with a 2.4 GPA. Still, between 3rd and 4th year I managed to wrangle myself a year-long internship in technical editing at a very large and well-known tech company. I botched the internship - spent most of my time surfing the web and panicking about getting my work done, instead of actually doing it. In my final year, I finished my year-long undergrad thesis in about 2 weeks and earned a grade of 60%. It was not a banner year.

After I graduated I managed to land two job offers, both in consulting. I took the better one, which I got partially through some parental connections. I'm making very good money for my experience and skillset, in a booming industry. My official role is business analyst. I find the work mind-numbing and not very fulfilling right now, but I've only been here for two months and I imagine most peoples' first jobs are a lot crappier. I'm learning a shit-ton about consulting and the industry. But I also feel dead at work.

I don't know what to do with my life. I felt this way in high school too but not with the same sense of urgency. Part of the problem is that I'm not a very motivated person and I find it almost impossible to do anything before the last minute. However, I long for success. Everyone in my family is successful, and everyone seems to be an accountant, engineer, lawyer, or academic. I would like that. I think. Or maybe I want to be a world traveling web designer? Or a psychologist? I feel like I should be putting all my effort into being the best damn business analyst I can be but I'm continually sidetracked by these other avenues. Is it because I'm a very lazy and day-dreamy person or is it because this profession is wrong for me?

I should be doing things. I should be exploring other avenues in my evenings, doing some writing, learning some languages (both computer and people), engaging in professional development, going to shows, reading literature, and learning about different academic areas. But I spend most of my hours randomly surfing the web and reading periodicals. Then I get anxious and angry with myself around 11:30 and make grandiose plans for the next day. Rinse, repeat.

I would say my core skills are writing and computers. But I've never really written anything beyond assignments for class and a few poems here and there. The computer job I'm most qualified for is 'field technician' - I can write code but I'm incredibly rusty and haven't been involved in any major projects. Academia is alluring but I have no idea what I'd study and my marks are absolute shit. My parents (who I live with) want me to settle down and focus on my job. I seem very well positioned to be doing fantastically in a few years. But do I want this life?

I'm continually foiled by my lack of drive to do anything and my chronic indecisiveness. If left to my own devices I would read newspapers, and magazines, dick around with my PC, surf the web, and read the odd novel to while away the hours. But I have so many aspirations.

I'll try to distill my rambling and unfocused post down to a few questions:
1) Any tips for how to keep myself focused on a single task? How can I kill the constant daydreams that plague me?
2) How can I choose one thing to do and do it, with the knowledge that what I'm doing might be the 'wrong' thing?

I'm not sure what I'm hoping to accomplish with this post. Sigh.

Is there more than this?

Attackpanda — Mon, 22 Jan 2007 07:17:17 -0800

Is there more to life than just this? There is a lot more, don't worry. I tried searching older questions and didn't come across anything that really helped. Here's the situation... I'm 23, and not just out of college, didn't have the money to go. I hung around not doing anything for a year or two after high school and then I went to trade school and right into the workforce immediately upon completion. So I've been working in the medical billing field for about 3-4 years. I have a steady job that I'm quite good at. I've got a 401K, and a nice car. I live in a cute house (renting with a friend, not owned by me.) I even have a lovely boyfriend, we've been together for over a year now. I've been paying my own way since I starting working so I'm used to it. And I'm just about out of debt. Two more payments and I'm done.

I looked at Quarterlifecrisis.com, but they just seemed to be complaining that the read world was so hard because no one paid there bills anymore. It seems to me that I've accomplished the stuff that most people my age are trying to accomplish. I'm pretty stable.

I've been feeling very unfulfilled. I am considering moving as my boyfriend will be leaving in a few months to go to grad school. We've talked about me going with him, but we're not sure as we both love our personal space and we don't know where he is going just yet. I'd want to know the job market before commiting to anything anyway. I think that I may want to move someplace new. Right now, I live in a town which is college based, and great if you are going to school here, but is rather boring otherwise. (I'm a bit jealous to the people my age who complaining about how boring college is.) I'd have no problems moving on my own, beyond the normal moving is scary stuff, but I'm not sure where just yet.

I have a good faith for me, which I've thought about becoming more active in. I'm debating about helping more in the campgrounds I go to in the summer. I've thought about taking a few classes at the community college for computers, so I can be more self-suficient. I can cook and bake, (a major accomplishment for me), I'm learning to sew, but something still feels like it's missing from my life.

I will readily accept that I'm being some sort of pretenious twentysomething and that I haven't gotten it all figured out just yet. But is this all there is? Am I supposed to wash, rinse, repeat for the rest of my life? I'm at a loss for what I'm supposed to do for fulfillment. My job doesn't do it. My hobbies make me happy, but something is still missing. I love my boyfriend dearly, but neither of us is ready for marriage or anything like that. I can't find fulfillment and I feel a little empty inside. What to do? Thanks for reading all of this, I'm long winded I know.

East-coast aimless seeking target

youcancallmeal — Tue, 02 Jan 2007 12:57:11 -0800

Post-B.A., quarter-life crisis time! Move to DC? NYC? Somewhere else entirely? I graduate in May with a B.A. in Theatre (focus in directing/tech). I'm not sure if that's what I want to do with the rest of my life. I also have a background in newspaper writing/web stuff/litigation support. When I graduate, I plan on selling my car and pretty much everything else I own, which should net me about $10k. I currently live in Baltimore.

'Wants' for a new city are:
-reasonably close to Baltimore so that I can visit family regularly.
-good public transportation.
-decent job market.
-if not walkable, definitely needs to be bikable.
-interesting music options, preferably of the indie-rock variety.
-lots of stuff to do that is free/cheap.
-I might decide to go back to school at some point in the near future...anyone have opinions on academic options? I've thought about everything from getting my MFA to law school to library school to teaching.

I feel like I've narrowed this down to NYC and DC. I know people in both cities and have lived in Brooklyn for about six months in the past before I ran out of money and went back to school in Baltimore. I loved NYC, but remembered always feeling poor (well, because I was) and things always feeling really taxing. Is $10k enough to last me for a while until I find a job? Honestly, is this even a relavent point? Rents in DC don't seem to be much cheaper.

So, what are the pros/cons of living in each city? Is there another city that I'm just totally missing? Help!

Quarter-Life Crisis Filter

Alterscape — Mon, 04 Dec 2006 18:27:38 -0800

QuarterLifeCrisisFilter: I have a low-commitment, entry-level job straight out of college. I'm looking for a better job, but I'm really unsure about what I want to do with my life.. There is, of course, much I graduated in May with a film studies degree, and I'm currently working in an entry-level IT support position, living with a parent to save money even though I could afford an apartment on my current pay. I've done computer work (unpaid or paid) in one form or another basically since I was 10-ish, and I'm skilled at it, but the idea of spending the rest of my life in support really doesn't appeal to me. Nonetheless, I've been interviewing for better IT positions. At one interview, the interviewer said "it doesn't seem like you're the sort of person who could be happy to get out of bed every morning and help users." I think he was probably right. I wound up being offered that job, and turned it down.

I enjoy creative/film work, and I looked for work in film in DC, but I've only had a few short gigs. I wouldn't mind living somewhere else, but I'd need enough work there to get a room/apt (NY? Toronto?), and I'd need a room there to base myself out of and find work, so that's a chicken-and-egg problem I don't know how to deal with..

Now, a friend of mine from my undergrad work is at a graduate program in a field I'm really interested in, but has limited career potential -- "computing in the arts," generally speaking. Embedded systems, context-aware sensors, fun stuff like that. I'd really like to apply to that program, but I don't have the money now. If I continue living at home and work a support-world job for a couple of years, I could probably save the cash, but all the support-world jobs I've found are in DC, and I'm far enough out that I'd really like to move downtown so the commute won't be miserable. If I do that, however, I'm out the cost of rent (probably $1000/month) which makes saving for grad school much harder.

I just interviewed for a nice IT position. Pay's nice, benefits are nice, but.. I'm really frightened that if I get offered it and take it, I'll lose something of my ability to chase those dreams. I know that I'm not chasing them now, though, so I'm not sure..

So, what's the intelligent way to figure out what I should do in this situation? I feel like I'm too wrapped up in it to really evaluate what I should do.. I know I have to make those decisions myself, but strategies for not being completely overwhelmed would be nice..

I know this is sort of a discombobulated question, but, any mefi-ites who survived the quarter-life crisis and have advice about finding your way and not going crazy, I'd love to hear from you.

When college is too fun...

wuzandfuzz — Sat, 21 Oct 2006 18:14:44 -0800

How did you get through your quarter-life crisis/post-college angst? I did the search and read the previous thread on quarter-life crisises, but mine has a different enough flavor that it really wasn't all that helpful. In the other thread, the crisis took the form of wanting to travel and be free of responsibility, these aren't my problems. My problem is, in essence, the downsizing of one's social circle that I've been told is inevitable with getting older. I had a large circle of friends in college, many of us lived in the same apartment complex, and we were always together. Now, I've moved to go to law school and I commute fairly far to go (boyfriend's job is far in the other direction) and I'm having trouble with not being able to just call people to hang out any ol' time I want to. There are law school friends, but they're new and not that close, emotionally or distance-wise. To make matters worse, most of my college friends haven't moved away from our college town and so they don't really know how I'm feeling.
To answer questions I can see coming a mile away:
I live with my boyfriend, this is working out swimmingly and I love him to pieces, but I'm used to a wide social circle.
We've kind of looked around for stuff we can do to expand our social circle where we live, but it seems like everything is designed for people older than us (we live in a rich suburb of LA.)

Anyway, tips on how to deal with this, or books/movies/etc that deal with it would be appreciated! I apologize if my question isn't particularly clear, its hard to put into words how I feel.

What color is your parachute?

drezdn — Thu, 13 Oct 2005 13:51:27 -0800

What should I do with my life, and how should I do it? I've just found out that I'm shut out of the career direction I was planning on heading in. I'm not sure what I want to do with my life career wise. I know roughly what I want. I want a career position where I can make enough money (30,000 or so) to not have to worry about money constantly. The thing I would love to do is fiction writing, but I know that won't pay the bills.

So here's my deal, I have a degree in Journalism (in which I finished both the print and broadcast submerisons). I do freelance writing work for a pretty big internet company, but this has just made me realize how much I don't enjoy writing nonfiction.

I also do video work for an educational access channel. Originally I hoped this would count as career experience towards getting a job in video, but the productions we do are so poor and underbudget that my resume reel has suffered and I've soured to the idea of finding a career in video production.

My grades in college weren't spectacular, so grad school is out, though I did recently submit an application to try for a second undergraduate degree (tentatively film, though everyone I know that has one, doesn't have work in their field, though now I know how to use school a little better).

I'm introverted and horrible at networking.

I can type 60 words a minute, but would rather not.

I like to travel, I like to bike or spend time outdoors.

Is there some career path I should try to wheedle myself on? Is there a book you read that helped you focus your career goals? Any other advice?

should I go into technical writing

heatherann — Wed, 13 Jul 2005 20:36:24 -0800

Should I go into technical writing? As of June 2006, I will have an Honours BA in Linguistics. I'm interested in pursuing a Masters in Theoretical Linguistics, focusing on sex education and the discourses found there (i.e. how do we construct female sexuality? how to avoid heterosexism? do these attitudes in sex ed. correlate with rates of teen preganancy/infections?). I thought that I wanted to be a professor, but I've recently thought otherwise, given that I want to stay in Toronto and I'm not sure that I am in it for the non-teaching aspects of the job. I read Linguistics journals and just don't give a rat's ass about most of what is being published.

While I would love to somehow revamp sex education in public schools, I'm not sure how to go about getting into that or whether that is even a job, particularly for someone with an Arts degree. It might be something that I'll get into on the side -- maybe hook up with Good for Her or something. The Masters is an option that I'm considering because I'm interested in it, I have a 95% chance that I can get TA jobs (@ York, currently have an 8.0/9.0 GPA, professors know and like me, there are no LING PhD students to compete with), and therefore come out of grad school with no additional debt, experience with publishing a large document, and teaching experience. However, it would be another year or two without starting to pay back my student loans.

So, I've been looking at college courses, and both technical writing and editing have jumped out at me, particularly this program at Seneca which includes a co-op term. I have had jobs in the past editing/designing two Student Handbooks and one Seminary Academic Calendar and enjoyed them, working in both Quark and PageMaker, plus experience in various Communication-related things (press releases, website content, radio ads, etc). I am detail-oriented and like editing things and checking for consistency. I enjoy tutoring and usually find it easy to break things down into simpler language.

Does this sound like a good fit? What sort of people enjoy technical writing? Is the field still expanding? Should I bother with the Masters? Is it okay to settle for a job that will be alright in order to pay the bills, while pursuing the things I'm really interested in on the side?

Quarter-Life Crisis: How did you handle it?

nitsuj — Wed, 02 Mar 2005 11:41:23 -0800

Quarter-Life Crisis: How did you handle it? After perusing Wikipedia's entry on Quarter-Life Crisis, I've come to the conclusion that I currently suffer from most of the common characteristics listed. I don't mind my job, but I feel a longing to travel and pursue my dreams outside of being "responsible". Who out there in MetaFilterLand shares (or has shared in the past) a similar situation? How did you handle it? What effect do your choices have on you now? Were there any moments of clarity that helped you become content, or did becoming content make things worse?

** Note: re-posted, now with more clarity!

Help me get back on track

keswick — Mon, 16 Aug 2004 14:01:54 -0800

Help me turn around my life. I'm caught in a trap. [mi] I'm a intelligent and creative guy stuck in a dead-end job. I took AP classes in high school and honors courses at a state college. Depression and anxiety derailed my college career, and I've been stuck in a series of no-future jobs since. I can literally feel my brain atrophying. I finally have the anxiety and depression under control (I think) and I want to go back to school. I recently turned 30 and I'm pretty much at a loss on where to start. Part of me is still defeatist and says it's too late. Tell me I'm wrong!

I think I'd like to become a professor, but other career options are definitely not ruled out. My interests are: history, journalism, and photography. Where do I go from here? Should I go back to school? How does one do that when they can barely pay all their bills as it is?