Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with pyschology

Impossible Standards

Hands of Manos — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 14:18:09 -0800

Help my wife with her impossible standards. My wife always sets her standards to an impossibility and now she wants to learn to stop. We were wondering if there are any websites or books that you would recommend.

Frightening flicks involving feminine fears

np312 — Mon, 02 Oct 2006 08:39:35 -0800

Frightening flicks involving feminine fears? (This is a good question for gender studies, psych, and cinema studies majors!) I'm interested in seeing movies that deal with the dark side of the female psychology, or scary psychological issues that are more feminine than masculine.

For example, "Rosemary's Baby" did a great job exploring the feminine fear that the baby you are carrying could be evil/foreign. Also the whole vulnerability thing, without being too misogynistic.

The films don't necessarily need to be the standard exploitative "sex is bad" horror flick (see someone else's previous question) but rather, movies that tap into primal fears related to women.

I'm interested in the fear of abandonment, jealousy, psychological issues with penetration, etc. Primal fears that perhaps lead to primal action. (Obviously many of these fears aren't purely feminine.)

I'm also interested in movies that explore themes of men being afraid of something inherent to women, such as a vagina dentata theme or perhaps something involving the maternal instinct gone wrong. If you can't think of any movies, feel free to suggest some possible fears. Somewhat loaded question, I realize, but I'm just brainstorming.

Please keep in mind I'm interested in movies that are able to do this without being overtly misogynistic, but rather tap into subconscious fears that run deep in some people. I suspect this probably is done with class more often in foreign films. Please help!

Finding flow in everyday life

sk381 — Mon, 06 Mar 2006 05:23:47 -0800

I have just finished read a fascinating book called Flow by this guy. I think what I've learnt could change my life forever.
My question is to those who might be familiar with his work and have incorporated it into their everyday life: How do you find 'Flow' in the more mundane, routine things of daily existence? Like a boring commute or doing the dishes, or household work. Anything that doesn't excite you but must be done again and again almost daily? How to structure them so that one can achieve 'optimal experiences' even from the most inane tasks?

Any tips or best practices that you could share?

You know... Fred!

grumblebee — Mon, 12 Sep 2005 10:24:53 -0800

"I was talking to Fred the other day, and he said everyone in his family has a cold."
"Who is Fred?"
"Oh, he's a guy I chat with on the web."
Some people seem to have trouble remembering what the person they are talking to knows and what he doesn't. Is there a name for this "syndrome"? Has anyone researched it? Everyone does this at times, but with some people it's constant. It's as if, in their minds, everyone they know is all at one big party together. They forget that Fred and Mary are from totally different parts of their life and have never met each other. And I've noticed that when you bring this up, they don't seem phased. I would expect them to say, "Oh, how STUPID of me! Of course you don't know him." But they just casually explain who Fred is and then move on.

I don't know if this is related, but I also know people who send emails like "Can you send it to me?" I respond with "Send what to you?" Then they respond with something like, "The red one." Still confused, I say, "The red what?" They say, "You know, the red one -- not the green one." I say, "Red or green WHAT?!?" and finally they say, "The book with the red cover that I loaned you last year."

Why didn't they say this in the first place? If they loaned it to me last year, how is it reasonable to assume I'd still be holding an image of it in my mind that could easily be attached to a pronoun?

I am NOT saying people like this are stupid. In fact, I know many smart people who do this sort of thing. But since I am the exact opposite, I don't understand it. I'm SO much the opposite, that I tend to go overboard the other way: "Could you please return that Stephen King book to me that I loaned you in April, last year? It's called 'Carrie' and it has a red color with blue lettering. I think I saw it on the third shelf from the left when I was last over at your house. You know, your house in New Jersey. That's in the United States of America on planet Earth -- the third planet that orbits Sol, a star in the Milky Way Galaxy."

Okay, I'm not that bad, but you get my point. Why am I that way? Why are other people extremely the other way?