Sometimes it can be useful to divide people into categories* for the purpose of understanding the differences in how people behave. For example: *Asker, guesser: Askers assume that it always okay to ask for a favour, guessers feel that one should have a good idea of whether the favor will be granted before asking. *Advocates, truthseekers: Advocates care about winning an argument, truthseekers search for the truth. *Givers, takers, matchers: Givers always try to help people; matchers try to help people, but seek reciprocity; givers only care about what what they can get from others. So, what are some useful paradigms for understanding different people? [more inside]
Recently I spent hours with a former co-worker gossiping about our former workplace. We didn't actually connect or strengthen our own friendship; I just felt shitty after. My therapist labeled this conversation/habit "social currency" because workplace gossip was something impersonal to talk about that could ease conversation, but didn't result in actual sharing. But I've Googled the phrase and don't see "social currency" defined in that way. Is there a phenomenon by another name that she was referring to? [more inside]
I am lost on how to proceed with my life/diet. Because #1 - There are many positives to eating strict #2 - There are many negatives to eating strict. [more inside]
Hi Mefites. I'll be starting an online medical coding and billing course in January ( given by the AAPC), after graduating from a relatively well respected state school with a psychology BA in May and finding out far too late in the game that it would leave me with nil in terms of job prospects. After building up quite a bit of credit card debt and deciding that man cannot live on Hulu and Facebook alone, as I've been doing for six months, I decided to look into opportunities that required relatively little training to get started with, and happened upon medical billing, something that seems to fit me quite well. I'm tempering my enthusiasm however, because no amount of Googling seems to give me a clear sense of my path once the course is over. Help? [more inside]
For various reasons, I'm in currently in a domestic situation with a family member who is really, really draining. This person has quite a few traits that seem narcissistic/borderline/non-respectful of boundaries. [more inside]
Although I am quite introverted, I have a tendency to overshare. I don't think my behavior is beyond the realm of normal-- nobody has ever indicated to me that I made them uncomfortable. Still, I would like to be more able to keep my struggles, emotions, thoughts, and frustrations more contained. Sometimes when I am really frustrated or confused about something, I will find a moderately close friend to vent to, but then later on have some mild feelings of "maybe they didn't really need to know that about me..." [more inside]
As a kid I loved to make up stories and fantasies. Now, 22 years old and almost out of college, I realized that I can't do this anymore, can't let my mind go where it will. How can I learn to? [more inside]
Some time ago (maybe four years) I saw a video of a presentation about psychology of computer programming by a man who said he was writing a book about it. He also had a blog where he discussed the book. It wasn't a single blog post about the topic, but a specialised blog about the psychology of programming. I can't find either. [more inside]
An angry client emails a partner at a law firm about an expensive court filing. The partner responds "oh, don't worry, we'll look into this and take care of it." He cc's his secretary, the associate who drafted the filing, the associate's secretary, the paralegal, and the accounting clerk in charge of billing. Being at the top of the food chain, the partner immediately assumes that the associate will take care of it, and the partner's secretary assumes the same. The associate assumes that since the paralegal prepared the documents, including the itemized fee transmittal, that she'll handle it. Meanwhile, the paralegal figures that since the associate's secretary was the one in charge of electronically filing the document and selecting the fee options online, that it was probably an error on her end, and that she'll look into it. The associate's secretary assumes that since the accounting clerk is the only one with authorization to view and reconcile the charge account online, that she'll handle it. Last but not least, the accounting clerk brushes it off, as she works in accounting, not preparing and filing legal documents. Aside from passing the buck, what is a good term, phrase or analogy to describe this circular, dysfunctional work dynamic that occurs when a dozen people are cc'd on the same email? Everyone assumes someone else will take care of a problem, and in the end, the problem is never addressed.
How do I get better at not ignoring all the positive emotional work I've done when suddenly being triggered in a high-stress low-functioning situation? [more inside]
Dear Hive Mind, My friend (a graduate student in psychology) wants to collect physiological measures for her dissertation. However, she doesn't have much money with which to do so. What is the cheapest way for her to accurately record the heart rate of some undergraduates? How much more will it cost her to be able to export the data to a computer? Thanks 10^6, zscore
I'm looking for current LCSW and Clinical/Counseling Psychology PhD holders to give me "real life" information on the pros and cons of each degree. [more inside]
I can't remember this anecdote for the life of me. But the jist was, a very picky director / designer / CEO's people would plant an intentional piece of ugliness (something off center, something ugly) into a project, or design, or film, to fixate him, so he wouldn't tear apart any other parts of the design. [more inside]
I am feeding my infant on demand. Said infant gets no sleep whatsoever. Friends are pointing me to various methodologies, many of which schedule discrete eating times (such as feeding all of the calories in a 12 hour period and none in the remaining 12 hour period). I do not wish to do this because I think that this doesn't respect a baby's hunger and worry that, down the road, the child will not be able to recognize hunger/satiety clues. On the other hand, of course I would love to try scheduling like this because it's pretty miserable getting no sleep. All things being equal (the merits of on demand vs. scheduling), is there literature out there in psychology or any other field that has looked to this? Where should I go to find out whether scheduled feedings may have a long-term impact on children?
Please point me to some resources (interviews, news articles, opinion pieces, etc...) so I can better understand why the DSM-V has generated so much controversy, and what the major points of contention are. The more gristly it is for my milling, the better.
Hello, I'm a recent Ph.D. in cognitive psychology, and it appears I'm not massively employable. I live in San Francisco and am not able to relocate. [more inside]
I recently started on adderall for ADD-type issues, and I've got some questions about the effects it's having. I intend to bring them up with my psychiatrist when I see him next, but that won't be for a few weeks and I think it would still be valuable to get some outside perspective, especially from people with first-hand experience. A lot of this has to do with sexuality. Questions and details within. A bit long-winded. [more inside]
That I've posed this question more than once before in various forms doesn't say very many good things, but the circumstances being what they are, I have to hope the answer is yet to be found. That's all I've got really- hope.I'm a 23 year old recent college grad ( in May, with a BA in psychology from Stony Brook University in NY), looking for love, a job, a journey and a purpose. I'm also in a wheelchair, unable to speak fluently in an increasing percentage of life situations, grossly overweight, unmotivated and uninspired. Help me build a life away from my couch and outside of daytime TV, Facebook and lies. [more inside]
I feel that I am generally somebody who ends up being taken advantage of. What can I change about myself to avoid this? [more inside]
I finished my masters in counseling psychology back in December. I have not taking my licensure exam yet which is the NCE. In order to become a therapist I have to pass the NCE and eventually get my LCPC after I have accumulated my hours. The question I have is how should I decide on being able to utilize my skills so that I can help others? I have read quite a lot on autism and I have a moderate amount of experience with helping children and adults with Asperger Syndrome. The question though, is where should I begin with all of this? There are a wide variety of different disorders that I am familiar with. I would eventually like to be able to help people with all sorts of problems, but I'm not sure what is the best way to go about this. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Nowadays no one bats an eye -- well, almost no one -- if you say you're seeing a therapist. But what about in the early 70s? Was it socially acceptable? [more inside]
I'm thinking of doing a Masters in CBT after my psychology/spanish degree. Thing is to do the Masters requires - "12 months mental health related work experience and be currently working/volunteering in practice using CBT or Cognitive Behavioural skills. Students will be required to use CBT skills within their work/voluntary placement setting and will need to access supervised practice." But surely to get such a position requires a degree in the first place? Am I being dense? Anybody in the UK who can help me out understanding my options? Thanks
I'm interested in working in the mental health industry. How can I start dipping my toe in the water? [more inside]
If social media and crowdsourcing is good for anything, I figure it's to find some sort of answer to questions like these. Here goes nothing... I'm a 23 year old with cerebral palsy and while I'm very much a special snowflake in that I've been gifted with normal function as far as most of my life is concerned-most importantly in terms of intellect- there's one part of my CP that's made my life smaller and more miserable than any wheelchair could. It's affected my relationships with and opportunities for friends, dates and jobs, and for a richer life in general. Help me find a way out. Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
I've never had insurance before and am getting it soon. I have seen counselors in the past and have been told that I might have some sort of ADHD and maybe depression. I do have trouble in school, especially in math and science classes. In order for the disability services at my school to provide me services, I need a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist to evaluate me. How long after I sign up for one of these will I start seeing him or her? How many sessions are there usually before they can evaluate me properly? I need to do this in a span of 4 months for spring semesters classes so I can receive accommodations. Is this asking too much? Will it be too quick? [more inside]
I remember reading a few years back about a piece of research or a theory in social psychology. The research found that a speaker should emphasise common ground when trying to persuade their listeners to change their opinion. By contrast, if they stressed how much their opinions diverged, the listeners would actually move further away from speaker's ideas than they were before. In other words, a conciliatory tone might be better than a strident attack if we want to persuade people. Does this ring a bell with anyone?
So I'm a 23 year old recent college grad with a psychology degree and a long face. Why? No job, a shitty, inconsistent transcript to show for the last six years of my life ( barely eeking out a 3.0 because of significant and unrelenting problems with fatigue and depression, now somewhat under control), no work experience... oh, and I have cerebral palsy. All this helped build a brick wall almost impossible to see over, much less climb. This morning though, I managed to get bright-eyed and bushy tailed for all of five seconds after reading a Business Insider article that listed medical sonography as one of the best jobs available to those without a college degree. ( I've come to consider my degree a throwaway ( it's from a state school, it's in psychology, which makes me a decidedly un-special snowflake, and, like I said, the grades aren't frame worthy). Everything about medical sonography- the pay, the type of work, job growth and time-to-completion of the program is attractive. Trouble is, I leave much to be desired in terms of the physicality needed ( lifting, transporting patients, etc). What else can I do that offers all or many of these same benefits and is cripple friendly? [more inside]
I'm about to ask a—perhaps sexist—question about the possible differences in how men and women—broadly speaking—identify with songs in marketing. But first, some set-up. As a branding exercise, I've been working on tackling a fictitious start-up consisting of two fashion retailer brands. One's a men's brand, and one's a women's brand, both part of the same fictitious umbrella corporation. When fleshing out the details of any brand, I like to immerse myself in the environment of that brand as much as possible, approaching it almost like a method actor approaches a role. Part of this process for me is usually creating a playlist of music I identify as feeling right for that brand. Songs I can imagine playing in the store itself. I noticed my thought process behind selecting tracks for the menswear and womenswear brands were entirely different, and I'm wondering if there's any underlying truth or data to support my intuitions. [more inside]
Having spent my entire life doing what was expected of me when and where I was supposed to do it and clinging fairly tightly to my parents and home life, I'd like to take the next year or so to inject some vigor and excitement into my young years before I settle for the rat race to the picket fence with my . I'm thinking the most drastic and simultaneously safest way to do this would be to spend time in California. I've been there twice and loved it each time. Trouble is that, given my unique set of circumstances, that's starting to look more like a pipe dream than a feasible reality. Is there any hope of finding a good, well-developed reason to move out there own my own, at least for a year? [more inside]
I'm a very deliberate, risk-averse individual when it comes to big decisions. I make pro/con lists and spend days researching topics only to be stifled with indecision when I think the future is unpredictable. I see people who make the same decision easily, but when I question them about it, it's clear they haven't even thought about any of the factors I did. They seem to be blissfully ignorant over the possible ramifications of their decisions, and in some ways I am jealous that they can go through life so easily. Does this feeling have a name, and how can I get over it? [more inside]
Is there actual scientific research behind this oft-cited UI response time => human perception table? Or is it just "conventional wisdom." If not, I'd love to see the original research and know how it was conducted.
I'm trying to find charitable organizations which basically do what organizations like Direct Relief and MSF/Doctors Without Borders do (direct, critical medical equipment and services,) but for mental health conditions specifically. [more inside]
This one might be a doozy. So, I'm a 23 year old recent college grad ( this May) with a B.A. in psychology and no idea what to do with my life. ( Original, I know, but bear with me, it gets better.) Everyone around me seems to have what are at least well-outlined 5 year plans, oriented around either grad school or a great entry level job. Certain circumstances in my life though seem to leave me with a vision of the future that doesn't extend far beyond the living room couch and daytime TV for the next 10 years and that frightens me to no end. [more inside]
I'm looking for a basic textbook on personality theory. [more inside]
So I've been debating where to take my masters for some time. I'm not here to specifically ask for opinions on schools but more so styles of school. [more inside]
Not looking for pop psychology, but for fundamental texts that are unmissable. Work covering specific topics/subtopics (e.g., "this is the best book about borderline personality disorder") is fine too. I'm not going to be able to pursue another graduate degree for a while, so I'd like to start background and introductory reading for pleasure now (but I'd eventually like to work in the field). I have university library privileges! I've seen this ask, but it's a few years old and answers were rather thin. Go!
I keep finding myself in a peculiar and incredibly disheartening group social dynamic. I need practical guidance on how to "fix" the latest one, and maybe some suggestions on how to head these things off before we get to Suicidal Ideation pass. [more inside]
A close friend seems to spill liquids everyday. I wonder if this is a compulsion, if it is impelled by something just below consciousness or if it is mere clumsiness. Anyone have any input?
In general, what does it feel like to be loved? [more inside]
What is the technical term for this type of recall? A student (possibly with ADD) plays a puzzle game while listening to a class (there's no relationship between the puzzle game and the content of the class). Later, while relaxing at home, he plays the game again and by doing that recalls the content of the class.
Lately, I've realized that I'm increasingly bitter and even quite angry about people that appear too happy (think your average idealized personality on Facebook). [more inside]
My wife and I have been reading and enjoying Ariely's books, but we're a little skeptical. Many of his study results seem a bit too spectacular. Some studies produce dramatic surprises. All of which, of course, makes for great entertainment. Can you tell me whether, in general, others have duplicated his study results? What kind of reputation does he have among behavioral researchers?
My 1.5 year old niece starts crying whenever she sees me and it breaks my heart. This has been happening since she was 7 months old and I can't understand what I've done to cause it. It's upsetting me enough to make me ask about it here. [more inside]
Can you point me to specific stories, either your own or else freely available on the web, of times when someone has really disliked an activity at the beginning and found it very difficult or unnatural, but after working at it for a significant amount of time, finally comes to love and excel at it?
Write the numbers 1 to 20 on a set of cards, one per card but two cards of each number, put them on the foreheads of a group of twenty men and twenty women, and give them a couple minutes to try to pair up with the person of the opposite sex with the highest-ranked card: they will always end up with someone close to their own rank. Who originally thought of this? [more inside]
Why do I keep dreaming about my ex? YANM Psych etc. [more inside]
I went to a couple ones and they just say “uhh huh” and “ya” and “how does that make you feel?” all the time and dont give me any advice. Are there any that actually help you and give you advice? I also want to mention that going just made me focus on my problems and feel sorry for myself instead of changing things and going just seemed to make my problems worse.
Can you offer any recommendations for CBT-centered therapists in and around the Pittsburgh area, ideally east end? I'm looking for a CBT psychologist to provide therapy in conjunction with meds. [more inside]
Asking for a friend who is an MFT. He is considering moving into private practice, however, he isn't ready to make the leap from a steady and reliable job to a job where income is very dependent on the size of your professional network--and he doesn't really have a professional network at all right now. Any tips on how to ease into private practice with a low initial commitment and pressure--just a part time thing with only one or a few clients?
And I mean anything. People, school, projects, hobbies... I always, always give up on the things I start. And it isn't even about losing interest. Yeah, there are things that I'll eventually lose interest in and quit and that's not really a problem. What bothers me is that I quit things I'm actually interested in, too. For example, I was so completely into a book I was reading last week. Really, really into it. You'd think I'd finish it, then, but I didn't. I have an entire library full of half-read books, most of which I'd love to start reading again but just can't. Won't. Cant. Ugh. [more inside]