If you're an obese man successful on the dating scene, what are your tips and advice?

Anonymous — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 09:23:27 -0800

If you're an obese man who's been successful in the dating scene, please give me some tips and advice. As always, there's Having come off a bad relationship and a stressful time with a considerably larger physique, I find myself entering upon the dating scene as a morbidly obese guy — this being a new experience for me. (Not that my body was Adonisesque the first time around, mind you — I was more the tall and gangly type.)

I am feeling a little bit awkward and, despite being able to carry on a good conversation and having good listening skills, I am feeling as though (no offense to potential answerers) this obesity makes me an extremely unattractive partner to women, despite the fact that my diverse interests, conversational skills, etc. served me well in that regard in the past.

Obviously, though, this isn't the case — women evidently do fall for and like larger men. So, as suggested, I wanted to put the question to the overweight Mefite men who don't have problems actively dating women ...

Psychologically ... how do you do it? How did you convince yourself that your ... well, not to put it too nicely, but how did you convince yourself that that big ol' potbelly doesn't matter when you found the need to approach a girl for the first time? Unlike before, I find myself paralyzed by a voice harshly critical of my physique at the moment of truth which freezes up most of my "normal" ability to interact with women if a romantic element isn't involved. (And I unfortunately can't "fool" myself into engaging "friend-mode".) I can't have been the only fat guy to deal with this; how do you?

Fashion-wise ... having formerly dressed for a more thin physique, I'm at a loss as to what fashions and style flatter an obese man. My business casual garb also serves as my "nice event" garb, and I have a feeling it's probably not as flattering as other things might be: single-color polo shirt and black Dockers slacks. How do you dress to be comfortable yet impressive (or, failing that, uncomfortable yet impressive)?

And, by all means, if you have any tips or advice unrelated to the questions above, by all means, I would very much desire to hear them and learn from them. Also, if it matters in terms of a generational sense, I'm in my late twenties.

Depressive Compulsive?!?!?!?!Then please help

eve28 — Sat, 24 Mar 2007 01:41:53 -0800

Is there such a thing as DEPPRESIVE COMPULSIVE? Is it something real? Chemical? What and why can't I stop feeling sad, depressed, inadequate? To just put it out there I am a depressive compulsive and I have been dealing with this thing MY WHOLE LIFE!!!!!Literally. I'm a 28 yr. old female, who had a very traumatic life, who has dealt with many therapists, written many journals, talked to friends, family, GOD, and hell, about a year and a half ago, I started taking Zoloft. I met a therapist, whom I liked very much, got on the pills, started to feel a little better, (at least for the moment) even though therapy was excrutiating EverY Single TimE!! I stayed with her for over 15 months. I could really trust her.

Later, like 7 weeks ago, I moved and although my rational mind knows that a transition such as moving cross-country is stressful and can take some time for adjustment, I am still feeling low. I know no pill is available to heal this illness 100 percent, but I am starting to believe that some people, me mostly, must be lacking some sort of chemical. A transmitter or receptor or something that gives me the power of happiness, motivation, dedication. Is it possible that these are genes that some of us have in our DNA and some do not? Or, am I just crazy. Look, I guess I just want to know what This is...Is it something that depression does to you? Is it a gene one holds in their DNA? Is it all chemical? Is it how close one is with God? WHAT is it?

I feel tired, I have sleepless nights, racing thoughts, hurtful images, tired, low, sad, I feel as if I wont make it because I have no idea what I want and where I'm going even though I have dreams and ideas. I have a job, not totally in love with it, but I do like it, yet at the same time, I am still keeping my options open. I also see faces as I am trying to sleep. Sometimes they are good, sometimes bad, sometimes indifferent. This has happened my whole life. I am not sure if anyone thinks I'm crazy, but I really don't care about that. All I care about is if someone out there is willing to give a helping hand and provide me with some insight.

I am looking for a legitimate answer here. Please do not forget I have had this my whole life. I can not get into all the details of my haunting past, but even if I could, a man once told me, "no one cares about your past and no one cares where your at.."So thats it any and all thoughts accepted, even if it hurts....

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If you're an obese man successful on the dating scene, what are your tips and advice?

Depressive Compulsive?!?!?!?!Then please help