Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with priorities

How to prioritise many urgent / important issues?

Anonymous — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 17:38:05 -0800

Help me prioritise my career / accomodation / other goals - they all appear to be short term! [ideally UK MeFi people]. Anon because contains detailed career / personal issues. I have recently started a new job (senior but low-ranking librarian) in a London (UK) university.

This is a big improvement over last year, when (to cut it short) I suffered from a stress-related problem while studying a Masters degree. In short a lot of things hit me at once, study, work, family problems, relationship breakdown...!

I'm now feeling much better and coping with life. Despite this, six months into the job I feel in a rut, as I live in lodgings in an expensive town and can't find a good priced longer-term place to stay. Going back to my family is not an option (it was a large cause of stress last year) and I can't stay with friends.

If I could get a higher salaried job, that would be great, but I doubt it would be at my current institution. Plus, given the effects that stress had on me last year, I am keen to avoid more upheavals and jobs that involve a lot of pressure.

I've started doing a further professional qualification but am now looking at postponing it so I don't get stressed out again! PLus I'm very doubtful library work will satisfy me long-term.

I'm highly educated (undergrad degree in Physics, Masters in library/information management, multilingual though not qualified in languages) but have been *very* unadventurous in my career so far, partly because I followed (what I now see as) bad advice and took "safe" scientific qualifications rather than languages which are my passion, and have lacked self-confidence.

Unfortunately I don't have any savings and I'm not earning much at all, just enough to live on, really. With my driving lessons I am making a yearly loss...!

I'd really like some help to see what would be a good area to prioritise more, or even really some suggestions to help me think outside the corner which I feel I've painted myself into!

How to find time to do everything in life?

Alabaster — Sat, 04 Aug 2007 11:36:25 -0800

Not-enough-hours-in-the-day-filter: Any advice on developing/maintaining skills which require daily practice/effort, while balancing other priorities and time commitments (heath, family, creative pursuits, etc.) ? (specifics inside) There are about a zillion things I want to do in my life, but with some thought I can distill it down to a handful of priorities. These are not simply "pastimes", but skills that I want to actively maintain and develop over my lifetime, and which require DAILY, dedicated time and effort:

(in no particular order):

SKILLS/HOBBIES to practice daily:
-Work out at the gym (to lose a significant amount of weight and maintain physical health for myself, my wife, and--eventually--children)
-Compose music (for personal pleasure and occasional freelance work--this is my passion, but it often falls by the wayside when life gets busy)
-Practice one or more musical instruments (to maintain my skills on my primary instruments and also to learn a new instrument every once in a while)

FAMILY/HOUSEHOLD
-Spend time with my wife (and eventually children) and maintain our relationship
-Keep up with chores and do projects/maintenance around the house, yard, etc.

CAREER
-Teacher planning (I am a high school teacher which requires some "homework" nearly every night--planning lessons, grading papers, keeping records, etc.)

ADDITIONALLY:
-Meditate daily
-Read/contemplate/write/journal/pursue creative interests
-And, I strongly desire to begin training in a martial art

I work approx. 7am-4pm as a high school music teacher, and often have evening rehearsal commitments as well (7-9pm once or twice per week). By the time I squeeze in a workout, this leaves very little time to practice anything else on my list, let alone spend time with family, pursue more casual interests, or have any "down-time" for relaxation and recreation. In the meantime, months and years pass and my most important skills go undeveloped.

I realize that the life I am describing here is not particularly extreme, and that most people are able to balance their career, family, health, hobbies, and creative pursuits in some way. How?

I'm not necessarily looking for time-management tips (I have read and partially implemented GTD and tried several other techniques, and tried several pieces of software for scheduling, goal-setting, motivation, etc.) I suppose I'm looking more for philosophical input, advice from personal experience, and practical suggestions for keeping up with stuff on a daily basis without squeezing together an unmaintainable schedule.

Should your partner always be your priority?

aprivateperson — Fri, 15 Dec 2006 06:28:04 -0800

In a relationship, should your priority always be towards your partner? During an argument a long time ago, I pointed out to my gf that occasionally she would not be my number 1 priority, that sometimes my family, friends or work would come first.

This has come up again recently, and it still stings and hurts her deeply. But try as I might, I can't understand quite what her problem is. I don't expect me to be her priority 24-7, so why should she expect to be mine?

Am I being unreasonable?

yes - no - maybe - maybe yes - maybe no - maybe maybe - wait - can't decide - what to do first? - was that wrong? - was that right?

Anonymous — Wed, 24 Aug 2005 11:14:55 -0800

Ever been so overwhelmed that it paralyzed you? How did figure out what to do first? How did you get it all done? Cirrcumstances rendered me unable to decide, focus, prioritize and accomplish for a number of years. The cause was found and I am clearer and eager to get on and rejoin life. But ye gods! The physical mess in my home is horrific and the number of things I've left undone over these years is humongous.

Imagine that you've been away from your life while a tornado was ripping through it -- through your job and house and relationships -- and that, while you'd periodically returned and started cleanups, you'd then disappeared each time just as you were making headway and by the time you returned again, the tornadoes had gotten worse and nobody trusted your commitment. So now you are back to stay but don't know where to begin to clear it all up, maintain it and make a living at the same time.

That sounds farfetched, but believe me, it's real and no, I don't really want to go into details just now except to say always trust your gut when you tell doctors you need to be tested for something physical that they tell you is all in your head -- and keep searching till you find the doctor who'll do the test.

Anyhow, I just want to get on with life but being able to suddenly see how messed up everything is is almost worse than not being able to see it before.

Here's the deal: my home is cluttered beyond belief; our house is falling apart; my family has lost faith in my ability to run things smoothly; I've put on 50 pounds although I'd never been overweight before; my business is gone although those who knew me remember my abilities and people who know me only recently are impressed by my credentials; I prefer to go back to that business, but some of my materials are still buried under the clutter and remarketing myself will take time, as will doing a refresher of the things I know; but our finances are by now strained to breaking my husband apart. A part time job would help while I reestablish my business but, as I've found out during the last three weeks, applying for jobs is a horrible and time consuming endeavor, and the teenage kids are all running wild and needing money for school.

If I left anything out you can add it yourself: every area of my life is now in shambles and I would love to get it right again in a step-by-step way, but every area is screaming for attention immediately and I feel hopeless and overwhelmed.

My thought is that organizing and getting rid of the clutter in my house will help me find stuff we need and will return a sense of peace and haven to our home, but when I concentrate on that, I'm asked why I'm not making an income. When I spend the day jobhunting -- and believe me, almost anything will do but I've not jobhunted in years and I'm floored by the slow pace of snagging an interview and by hearing that they're scheduling second interviews in a week or two. Hello? Second interviews? We're talking simple waitress job here.

Meanwhile, everyone needs rides and money and things and did I mention that my spouse is away during the week so there's nobody here to do it all but me?

And you have no idea how much time and strength are just eaten up by the simple act of throwing stuff into garbage bags and lugging it to the garbage when you're 50 lbs. overweight. I actually bought $1300 of personal trainer time at a 24-hour gym 2 years ago but my doctors won't say yes yet to me going back to reclaim it ( your expired gym contract can be overturned for medical reasons with a doctor's signature, FYI). I am focused enough to be able to tell helper's to pitch this, cart that and to work like a fiend WITH that help, but I can't afford it yet and my family is just not there for me to provide real assistance. I think they will be as they see me maintaining focus for now, but it's just been too long that they've seen and believed it.

Anyhow, Sorry for the rant. Therapy's out of the question -- first because the cause of all this was found to be a medical deficiency and not a mental health problem and second because the best therapy for me right now will be getting a semblance of order back. Besides, I LOL! don't have time -- I just want to get my life and my credibility back together without losing my husband and neglecting my kids.

Stuff like household help and a personal assistant ARE a viable option for me once I start back to work, and there are a number of items in this clutter that are new and valuable and I can barter them for help with the house, once I find them and clean up enough to let someone over. But those would all be steps 3 and 4 or something; I need decision and priority making help now.

Anyone tackled a life tornado before and want to give me suggestions? While we're at it, if you did, did you also find that a thousand emergencies cropped up while you were doing so, or is that just me. I don't think so, I think I'm just finding it difficult to set in flexibility for handling extraneous while trying to handle untenable.

I know this anonymous thing isn't set up to let me post again, so I want to say now that I hope I didn't include too much and that I sure would appreciate anything anyone wrote, and I won't forget you later when my dust has cleared and I get the opportunity to help you out. That's a promise I now can keep.

Many thanks.

Life categories

bricoleur — Sun, 27 Feb 2005 13:04:07 -0800

If you had to organize your life into categories and subcategories, what would they be? (I'm looking for the more general, applies-to-everyone sort of categories, like Transportation [-motorcycle -van] or Recreation [-music -canoeing], etc., not stuff like "Yamaha SR500" or "Captain Beefheart obsession.") I'm looking to get better organized, and I don't want to overlook anything.

Looking after a dog whilst at Law School

ohio — Fri, 11 Feb 2005 22:16:32 -0800

Law school + dog: I'm starting law school next fall, and I am currently looking at my housing options. I'm specifically looking for places that are pet friendly, but I need to know whether it is really possible for me to have a dog as a first year law student. Anyone out there been to law school recently? How much extra time will I have? (Assume that the neighborhood/apartment size is not an issue, and I've had dogs before so I know how to care for them.)