Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with pregnant

Please be OK in there, little one...

Anonymous — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 16:56:02 -0800

I'm just about 8 weeks pregnant (very much on purpose) for the first time. Physically, I feel almost normal - symptoms have been extremely mild and fleeting. The combination of worry, gratitude, disbelief and excitement is overwhelming. How did you navigate this uncertain yet sweet time? -I'm 27. Excellent health. Married to a wonderful man who will be a spectacular father. We have been planning for this baby for years. Family is as supportive as they could possibly be.
-I have been feeling pretty darn good. A little tired, but none of the crushing fatigue I was warned of. No nausea. Other symptoms are mild and transient.
-I am a biologist, and I have driven myself crazy for weeks reading through thousands of scientific papers on miscarriage risk factors, embryology, and so on. I am definitely not lacking for information. (Favorite embryonic development resource!)

1. While I'm deeply grateful to be pregnant, and beyond excited to have the chance to introduce a new person to oceans, forests, great children's literature, The Beatles, my family and so much else, I'm pretty terrified of losing the baby. I find that my grief-avoidance strategy is to force myself not to feel happy about this pregnancy, and replace all my excitement with a grimly realistic "wait and see" attitude. While it's probably healthy to maintain an awareness of the fragility of life at this stage, my coping strategy is painful. How did you deal with this?

2. As mentioned, I have almost no symptoms. For the most part, I feel truly grateful for every morning that I wake up feeling just fine. However, despite 4 positive tests and the only missed period of my life (not to mention the intentionally unprotected, properly-timed sex), a small part of me is still in disbelief. To be perfectly honest, I am a little bit afraid that when I go for my first ultrasound next week, the nurse will give me a bewildered look and announce that I was never pregnant. I mean, not really. Well, a little. Did any of you have a relatively asymptomatic first trimester? Did you feel this way? How did you cope? (Additionally, how did you cope with anxiety about missed miscarriage?)

3. How did you enjoy your pregnancy early on, given all the risks? Is there anything you wish you had done differently? What helped you relax amid the uncertainty?

What places sell maternity clothing that my wife would like?

nitsuj — Fri, 29 Mar 2013 08:46:03 -0800

My wife is pregnant. I'd like to get her a gift certificate to a store that sells maternity clothing that is akin to the clothing she normally buys. She normally shops at places like J. Crew and Anthropology. Are there stores of similar style and quality that specialize in maternity clothing?

Alternatives to shaving for pregnant ladies?

linettasky — Sat, 12 Jan 2013 10:59:28 -0800

I hate shaving my legs. I'm a hairy lady with dark leg hair, and shaving always itches & hurts, no matter what shaving cream or lotions I use. I usually wax in the summer and ignore my legs in the winter, but my toddler would love it if we went to the pool, and I'm fifteen weeks pregnant. Can I get a leg wax while I'm pregnant? Are there other options I haven't thought about? Depilatories don't work for me, and I'm not comfortable taking my hairy hairy legs to the pool. The last time I was pregnant, I didn't go swimming; I just wore long pants or leggings the whole time. (Bikini line isn't a concern; I always wear board shorts anyway, and I have awesome maternity ones I'm excited to fit into.)

Ex-pat assignment in Malaysia

John Frum — Tue, 08 Jan 2013 06:27:31 -0800

I have just accepted an ex-pat assignment to Malaysia, specifically Malacca. I have a variety of questions, some specific to my family situation: my wife is three months pregnant and we have a toddler. See inside for details. Thanks! The assignment is expected to be for a year or less at which time we'll (likely) come back to the US. My company has a good ex-pat policy, so I'm not too concerned about money. I expect to start work in April. As mentioned, my wife is pregnant and due in June. We have an 18-month-old son who loves being around other little kids. We are white mid-westerns who have never traveled to Asia. My questions:

1. Any books, movies, websites, etc. we should check out to better understand and acclimate to the area?

2. Any advice for my pregnant wife? Hospitals/doctors in Malacca? From what we've heard, it sounds like Malacca has good health care, and at very worst we could travel to Kuala Lumpur or Singapore for the birth.

3. Any advice for handling the transition for my son? We'd like to get a nanny or use day care too, so my wife can continue her internet-based business. Suggestions?

4. Since this is a short-term move, we will keep our house in the US. Any suggestions about the best way to manage this?

Any other tips would be greatly appreciated. Thanks again!

make the most of my pregnant and unemployment in nyc!

sabh — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 18:41:25 -0800

i am five months pregnant, in NYC and just got fired from my job... now what? i want to make the most out of my unemployment until baby is born in march. i want to explore this city, go out and enjoy myself on my own, but not spent too much money.
so, what should i do? how should i spend all of this free time? i imagine i won't have much time to myself for quite a few years, and i'm trying to make the most out of this less-than-perfect situation.
i have a blog i'd like to pay more attention to, i'd like to do more yoga and... the rest is up to you!

Looking for a midwife in Toronto

evadery — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 06:23:14 -0800

Looking for a midwife in Toronto. Any recommendations? We've reached out to the various midwives clinics in Toronto, many of which have placed us on their respective waiting lists. However, we're more looking for recommendations of individuals. And as a side question, what benefit (if any) is there to going with a clinic rather than an individual?

FYI, we have already seen this Toronto doula thread.

Thanks in advance.

24 weeks pregnant facing bedrest!

Anonymous — Sun, 09 Sep 2012 08:40:34 -0800

24 weeks pregnant, facing bedrest and woefully underprepared for the birth of this surprise baby. FMLA, bedrest and c-section questions inside. Anon due to medical/work questions. Throwaway email: surprisebabby@gmail.com.

I am 24 weeks 5 days pregnant and entered the hospital Thursday with heavy bleeding and frequent painless contractions. I had two shots of Terbutaline to reduce the contractions which worked but not long term. They did work long enough to slow the bleeding substantially, although ultrasound showed one more large clot that will probably pass soon. I've been on magnesium sulfate for about 36 hours, being weaned off by half a gram per day. I've had a rhogam shot and two beta methazone shots for baby's lungs, along with two rounds of antibiotics for group b strep. I am now stable (not in labor) and baby is tolerating all of this very well.

I have been aware of this pregnancy for exactly one month, so I'm feeling a little behind in preparing. I have some questions about FMLA and disability leave, preparations for possible bedrest, and general HALP BABBY! type questions.

First up, my husband and I WERE trying for a baby- I was on metformin to regulate my cycles but mostly what it did was mask my early pregnancy symptoms, of which I had very few (no vomiting, 2-3 instances of mild nausea). I had heavy bleeding in my second month, which I assumed was either a menstrual period or the irregular bleeding I experience with PCOS. Otherwise, I have felt perfectly normal, and a metformin followup visit brought the pregnancy to light when I was 21 weeks along. I have a bicornuate uterus and I am at risk for pre term labor and breech positioning.

My questions:
I just faxed off my FMLA paperwork on Wednesday. I understand the whole procedure as it relates to a normal or mostly normal birth--but if I am released from the hospital this week on bedrest and required to use FMLA to cover that, I will be expected back at work two weeks before my due date, if I am lucky to keep baby inside for that long. And if she's in NICU, I am not about to want to deal with TPS reports. I have short term disability (which has to be taken consecutively with FMLA) and long term disability, which I haven't had much chance to look into. I want to have all my ducks in a row before I talk to HR. (I am based in Minnesota, company HQ are in New York.) I guess if I'm put on three months of bedrest, I still want my twelve weeks of postpartum leave, too--knowing that my company is not necessarily obligated to provide this. (I know they value me, a lot, but no one is irreplaceable, especially when they're asking for half a year off.)
- Could long term disability apply to my situation, leaving short term and FMLA for post-birth? I will use up most of my sick days on this hospitalization and have only a handful of vacation/personal days left. What other questions should I ask HR?
- It might be possible to work from home if my doctor is okay with it. My company generally doesn't like people to work from home, but I'm willing to ask for it. What other questions should I ask my manager?
- I like my job and was planning to return to work--but we don't NEED me to work to maintain something close to our standard of living, even with the added expenses of a baby. Insurance is through my husband's job. At some point, should I just consider quitting if they can't or won't work with me on leave? Is there a way--and would it be ethical to do this--to get the six weeks paid disability (and any long term that qualifies) used up before I officially quit, just for that extra bumper of savings?

Possible bedrest
- my doctor has indicated that I may need to go on bedrest or modified bedrest. We have a lot of friends and family around to help, but they will need direction. What do I tell them to do?
- I have read the other threads on not going crazy while on bedrest. Additional ideas are welcome! I already play an MMORPG, quilt, read, and have podcasts lined up. Any other tips?

HALP BABBY
- I need some help prioritizing my baby-prep tasks, especially if I'm going to be taking care of them from bed. We don't have: a pediatrician, car seat, names picked out, nursery furniture, baby items, wills/living wills, etc. I do have an amazing, supportive, and about to be totally overwhelmed husband, and the aforementioned family and friends. My biggest priority upon getting home is packing a proper hospital bag for our next visit, so I won't have to send him home piecemeal for more socks and underwear and stuff to read. Beyond that--pediatrician? Wills? Please help me prioritize and delegate!
-well before I was pregnant, it was important to me to have a natural, medication- and intervention-free birth. I struggled with taking met to increase my chances of getting pregnant because it felt like cheating. Now, of course, I've already had much-needed interventions and am preparing myself for the very likely possibility of a c-section (she won't have much room to turn around due to the shape of my uterus and I understand that ECV is generally not recommended for high-risk pregnancies). I am very scared of having a c-section--everything from the epidural to hemorrhaging on the table afterwards. Please point me toward some c-section positive resources. Also, any questions for my doctor regarding bedrest, pre term labor, or c-section I may not have thought of?

Thank you for reading this far!

Help me be awesome and supportive towards my pregnant sister!

kat518 — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 07:48:49 -0800

My sister is pregnant. I am psyched. Help me be an awesome and supportive sister and aunt! My sister is almost done with her first trimester of pregnancy and I couldn't be happier for her because I know she will be a great mom. That said, I know having babies is Serious Business and not easy so I want to be helpful as much as I can.

Complicating factors:
- My sister lives a few states away. It's about an 8 hour drive or a short flight or two away but we're not physically close so I can't just pop over with food or to check on her.
- She's single. She's an attorney and while she has student loans and a mortgage, she's doing pretty well for herself in my opinion. The pregnancy was planned. She picked donor sperm and got inseminated. So there's no partner in the picture but she has tons of friends and is getting a doula.
- She's expecting twins!
- She was overweight before getting pregnant. Initially, she was going to try not to gain weight at all but I'm not sure that she can do that when she's expecting twins. Because she's overweight and expecting twins, they're anticipating that she either has or will get gestational diabetes. I would like to send her baked goods or suggest recipes because when she went to the doctor's office, the stupid nurse gave her a list of things that she should eat for diabetes without remembering that she's pregnant (for example, fish). Also, since she's always been heavier than me, food is potentially fraught/loaded on a sister level. I think we've grown past that but I'm not sure and I don't want to risk making things uncomfortable.

When I was getting married, my sister made me a planner so I would like to make her a planner. The one she made me was a composition notebook with things like "write what songs you want played at the wedding on this page!" and "write important phone numbers down here!" What type of stuff to that effect should go in a "baby planner"?

I have another sister and we've started talking a little about having a baby shower and visiting to help out after the babies come. We also have a brother who doesn't live too far from my pregnant sister so hopefully he will be helpful. Her best friend lives near my brother and I know she'll help too, as will my brother's girlfriend. My mother died about five years ago but my sister is pretty close with one of our aunts who already said she would visit and help out. I'm a little worried that my dad is still in shock and freaked out. He hasn't told the woman he's seeing that my sister is pregnant but he said he wants to wait until after the first trimester.

I would like to protect my sister, as much as possible, from jerks who say inappropriate things about a single woman who wants to have kids but I don't know how much of that I can do from afar besides listening to her when jerks say inappropriate things.

TL;DR - My single, professional sister is pregnant with twins. How can I be helpful, supportive and awesome?

What tech is out there for babies and their geek parents?

davebug — Mon, 27 Aug 2012 21:48:36 -0800

I'm a gadget geek about to have my first baby. What tech do I now have an excuse to get that might help make things easier or even more fun? I've been eyeing the WiThings baby monitor since before the pregnancy, but lately it seems to get so-so reviews compared to the Motorola MBP36. I'm tempted by the MamaRoo baby mover thingamajig. Anything else?

Nature + science = baby?

Anonymous — Mon, 06 Aug 2012 20:13:06 -0800

Looking for an obstetrician in Minneapolis or St. Paul, as well as general guidance on natural childbirth options/timelines. I'd prefer a woman, don't want a C-section unless it's medically necessary, and have a pretty crunchy outlook in general but I don't want to throw modern medicine out the window. This is my first pregnancy and I'm at 5 weeks from the beginning of my last cycle right now.

I'd love advice about choosing a hospital/midwife/doula/doctor - do I need all, most, some of these things? Help! And thank you!

What baby stuff should I buy secondhand?

Night_owl — Sat, 04 Aug 2012 09:40:58 -0800

What kinds of baby/toddler things are ok to buy secondhand? I have always shopped secondhand for things for myself, and think it's a great way to go. But with an upcoming baby, I'm not sure what is ok to buy secondhand and what isn't. For instance:

-I assume all baby clothes can be bought secondhand, so long as they're thoroughly washed before baby wears them?

-Books/toys. I want to start picking up things if I see them. However, I'm not sure. Some things are pretty obviously either clean or easily cleaned (bath books, simple plastic toys, etc.) but others are less so. I'm thinking of the books I will want to read to my toddler, like Dr. Seuss and Berenstain Bears. Or toys with battery compartments that I can't just dunk in hot water. Will antiseptic wipes be good enough to clean those off if they are of unknown provenance?

-Strollers/carseats. I know a lot of people do buy these secondhand. How do you make sure they're still in the safest possible condition?

-What other things can and should be bought secondhand for a baby? What are some good resources for those things? I plan to breastfeed.

Flat too hot, what to do?

Mai2k3 — Fri, 27 Jul 2012 22:45:10 -0800

I rented an apartment in Bonn on very short notice, and it turned out to be a loft. When he weather was cold it was ok, but once it got to 85 degrees it became unliveable. Of course there is no ac, so me and my pregnant wife went to a hotel till it cools off. Is there anything we can do regarding the rent? Do you think it's reasonable for someone to rent out a loft without mentioning that it is one? If I can't sleep in the apartment and he offers no solution but a fan, is this ok somehow? I was referred to this guy through the institute we are visiting, so maybe the secretaries can make him pay if I have a case.

Standing room only, but preggo lady still gets a chair

awenner — Fri, 27 Jul 2012 08:34:34 -0800

Are all bars super accommodating to pregnant ladies, or just the ones we go to in Montreal? Every time we've been out to a bar or a show in Montreal -- the kind where you expect to be standing -- my lady friend has always been able to get a seat. Sometimes we have to ask the bouncer, but the bar staff are usually so accommodating that it makes me wonder whether this is official city / provincial policy. (Special kudos to Metropolis, which has been extra awesome in this regard).

So, is this just a Montreal/Quebec thing? It wouldn't surprise me if it is, but what's your experience been like?

Help me plan a holiday

jojobobo — Fri, 20 Jul 2012 03:59:07 -0800

Husband and I want to take a holiday during the school holiday break (I know, but we're teachers) in September and/or December (in the lead up to Christmas) this year. We live in Melbourne, Australia. The major catch - I'll be 5 or 7 months pregnant, depending when we go. - Do I want to be on a plane for more than an hour or so at those points? The December trip is probably more of a concern. First timer here, I don't know.
- we don't want to go within Victoria. Interstate or NZ seem most likely because of the previous caveat
- I like nature and cities and culture. And beaches. So I'm pretty open to the kind of holiday. But being pregnant limits the kinds of activities we can do and the kinds of food I can eat. In fact, it is a pretty serious limitation because there are many sports I can't do and much wine I won't be drinking. And cheeses I won't be consuming.
-We have a budget of about $2-4000 for a trip but would happily spend considerably less! We'll have about 10 days.

So I guess there are two types of answers that will work
- previously pregnant mefites-- what did you feel like doing at that/those stages? I know 5 months is not that far in... but would you have been up for a 3 hour plan ride? How tired were you? I know this varies. But anecdata would be something.
- travelling mefites-- thoughts on good locations within that budget and time frame?

pregnant Segway-ing... really forbidden?

Anonymous — Wed, 18 Jul 2012 10:37:35 -0800

can I *really* not ride a Segway while pregnant? after some quick googling, it seems that Segway riding is not recommended for pregnant women, and that many tours will not permit oy to ride if you are pregnant. why? is it a balance thing? a just-in-case-you-fall thing? is it the same way bike riding is not recommended? because I do that...
I am going on vacation and would really like to do a Segway tour of the city. I will be about 12 weeks along at the time.

have you ever ridden a Segway? while pregnant?

Maternity Fifties Flair

heigh-hothederryo — Sat, 14 Jul 2012 19:01:44 -0800

The Fabulous Fifties, maternity edition! Where can one find fifties-style/a-line dresses that are reminiscent of the fifties? Think Modcloth styling, but for a ginormous belly. For those who are pear-shaped, or, more charitably, triangle-shaped, a-line, fifties styled clothing is often very flattering. Many maternity dresses are made out of clinging jersey or rayon, rather than a stiffer material, and, while comfortable, can be unforgiving to every little bulge. Can you give me some leads on some clothing that can be worn in the second and third trimesters that has that flattering retro shape?

For example the shape of this dress for a pregnant person who's rapidly gaining a lot - A LOT - of weight.

Pleasently peaceful books for pregnant people

ben30 — Mon, 02 Jul 2012 06:16:33 -0800

My wife is just entering the second trimester and is having a new fiction craving. The last time she was pregnant, she relaxed and read constantly. I'm looking for book recommendations that are enjoyable page turners about nice things happening to positive happy people. She loved Middlesex and The Princess Bride

Enjoyed His dark materials but not so much the final book or it's metaphysics.

She's read many of The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency books, but got board of them.

My suggestion of the Harry Potter books, resulted in a "Um, no, I've seen the films already."

She obviously doesn't mind children's books recommendations. Scary things can happen to people, but she needs to know that everything will eventually end up happily ever after.

Where can I find pregnant women like us?

Night_owl — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 21:38:08 -0800

What are the best intelligent, nonjudgmental online communities (like MeFi) for pregnant women and new mothers?

What if I just carry a cat around and hold it in front of my stomach?

A Terrible Llama — Tue, 12 Jun 2012 02:55:35 -0800

Can I get help finding clothes (that I can order online) to hide this pregnancy I'm trying to keep unannounced as long as possible? I'm about nine weeks pregnant with my second, but for all of the usual reasons am not announcing until twelve weeks, or at minimum, after a CVS which I get in two weeks.

I have to hide it every day, but in particular I have a dinner with grandma and grandpa next Monday and I don't want to get them all jacked up if, as Tina Fey says, what I'm actually pregnant with is a ball of fingers (I'm 42.) I also suspect they are on pregnancy high alert as I think that's their natural state.

I'm 5'4, short waisted, with boobs that are normally pretty big but are now in a size competition with my head. My stomach doesn't show much in the AM, but by the time five o'clock rolls around and I've eaten breakfast and lunch it is clear I'm either pregnant or sitting out in the backyard every night with a weekender of Bud.

Can you help? I need non-obviously maternity clothing or regular clothing that is empire waisted or some such, and made of some reasonably substantial material -- not the wispy drapey stuff everything seems made of now, unless it's some kind of complicated stomach-hiding wrap waist.

Needs to be something I can order off The Internet. I work in a casual office and typically dress in decent fitted t-shirts, jeans, and heels. I like gauzy/lacey sweaters.

(If I wind up having a miscarriage or something we'll just pretend we never had this talk, okay?)

Can you help me think up a creative way to announce my pregnancy to my small, close-knit office?

bristolcat — Mon, 04 Jun 2012 14:22:25 -0800

Can you help me think up a creative way to announce my pregnancy to my small, close-knit office? Tomorrow I will reach 14 weeks of pregnancy (!) and have decided that now is as good of time as any to break the news to my coworkers. My boss and HR have known for a while now and the people I work closest with have already been made aware of what's going on so they can think ahead.

What I really need is a way to reveal this to the rest of our small office. I work with lots of women and it seems like every time this event comes up, the announcement is a surprise - made in a fun or creative way. It usually involves treats and guessing who the mother-to-be is (although neither of those is a hard and fast requirement). We are all friends in the office, so it's normally a happy occasion.

The problem is that I am experiencing a total blank. I have been thinking about this since I learned I was pregnant at 8 weeks. I just can't come up with anything. I have Googled over and over again but most ideas I have found are old and tired or just plain suck.

So I'm hoping you can help. I don't want my announcement to suck.

Important details:
-Our office is divided between two separate floors.
-My office is tucked away in a corner and is not somewhere people will walk past regularly.
-These types of announcements aren't usually made at meetings, so that is out.
-There are too many people and too many varying schedules to try to get everyone to go somewhere out to lunch, or anything like that.
-I don't believe that gender should be defined by a color, so I am not a huge fan of using pink and blue to represent babyhood.
-This is my first pregnancy.

I just asked two coworkers in the know for past examples and they couldn't think of any, much less their own. So maybe in the end it doesn't really matter. But these people are like my family, so at least right here, right now, it does matter to me.

Thanks in advance for any help!

Pregnant; send help.

Anonymous — Tue, 15 May 2012 09:59:06 -0800

I am pregnant and on meds and terrified to not be on meds. Can you help me sort this through? I'm five weeks pregnant and on 300 mg/day of Wellbutrin XL. I promise I don't think you are my doctor or my pharmacist. I'm looking for advice from women who have Been There or those with concrete science-y knowledge. Over the past several years, I've conducted several experiments with different drugs, different dosages, and being not on meds. Being not on meds is horrible -- I tried very hard, but it's damaging to my relationship, to my parenting abilities, to my professional life. Wellbutrin was my final answer due to its relative efficacy and lack of side effects. While it's not as effective as Zoloft, I value my sex life.

With Wellbutrin, I function reasonably well.

I'd gone off meds to try to get pregnant for a little less than a year, and last month it became apparent that I was no longer functioning well, and it was starting to seem like maybe I was too old to get pregnant. I decided to go back on Wellbutrin. Of course I promptly got pregnant.

Dr. Google has turned up some reasonably reliable looking information about autism and Wellbutrin, as well as some information about ADHD and Wellbutrin, and some scary looking information about other anti-depressant options. It's very difficult to look at these and think that I would be comfortable taking this or anything else for the duration of a pregnancy.

I cannot imagine how I could survive the hormonal shitstorm of a pregnancy without taking meds. I'd like to know, if you managed to do this, specifically how you managed to make this survivable, or if you had to do something similar--get through a period without medication--how you managed to do it without damaging your relationships or professional life. Yoga? Meditation? What helped? What can I do to make this not a nightmare for myself, my partner, my existing child, my potential child, my dog, and innocent passers-by? (I already do daily cardio and eat reasonably well; that won't be stopping.)

Again, I don't remotely think you're my doctor, I just want advice and to know how others managed this situation. I'm seeing my doctor on Thursday, and his feelings are in line with mine: it would be preferable to go off these meds. I am waiting until we get a heartbeat to make a final decision.

I would appreciate this parenting/pregnancy thread being a finger-waggling free zone.

How do we get out of paying for employer insurance during FMLA?

amazingstill — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 12:10:27 -0800

FMLA-Filter: What counts as officially "returned" to work after the 12 week FMLA for maternity leave? This is a question for my wife. She is about to go on maternity leave through her employer. She works full time and is entitled to FMLA. She will continue to have unpaid leave but maintain health insurance through her employer. My wife also plans on eventually quitting her job. Now from what I understand is; according to FMLA, the employer has the right to collect it's paid premiums on the insurance it has maintained for the employee during the leave if the employee fails to return from work. This is defined in section 104, C.

http://www.dol.gov/whd/fmla/fmlaAmended.htm#SEC_104_EBP

This would amount close to $1000 out of pocket by the end of her leave if she would quit at the end. She said she would be willing to work say a week back in the office after FMLA to qualify as "returned" to work as to not have to pay the employer portion of the premium on the incurred insurance she used during maternity leave. My question, how long does one have to return to work to qualify not having to pay insurance premiums while on FMLA? I read her documents from her employer and the linked FMLA atricle but could not find a definition of what counts as "returned", thinking that a week back in the office after maternity would count as not having to pay back the insurance premiums. Has anyone have experience with this? Baby is due in about a week!

Partying with a Pregnant Lady in NYC

firei — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 14:29:21 -0800

Planning a daytime bachelorette party in NYC - with complications! I'm a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding. We are a non-traditional wedding party - myself, the bride's brother, and a seventh month pregnant woman are the "bridesmaids."

On Saturday May 12, we are planning to do separate bachelor & bachelorette parties during the day, then meet up with both groups for fun shenanigans at night.

We need to think up something fun from 1 or 2 pm to 6:30-ish that is fun, but not dangerous or taxing for the pregnant member of our group! (Example - the guys are going to spend the day paintballing. The girls would love to go paintballing or lasertagging - but we can't!)

So I turn to you, mefites! We'd rather it not be too expensive, but all ideas are welcome.

How am I supposed to tell my husband I'm pregnant when we're not ready for a baby?

Anonymous — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 10:32:56 -0800

I'm pregnant, at the worst possible time. Help. I got married a month ago. It was a hurried wedding, because my husband has been unexpectedly deployed. He is now gone, and will be out of the country till November.

And he's not ready for a baby. We had the talk a few months ago, and he wasn't even really ready to have the discussion about when we would have kids. I was on birth control, but I ran out three days before he left and stupidly thought I would be okay.

Well, I missed a period last weekend and I checked today using a drugstore test and it says I'm pregnant. I have no idea how to tell my husband. I know he's going to be very angry, and I don't know how to say I'm sorry. I've screwed up royally, and until I can get up the guts to tell him via phone, I have no one I can talk to about this.

Please give me some advice on how to handle this, if you've ever had to have this discussion, if you've ever dealt with a pregnancy that you were completely unprepared for. I'm in over my head and I need all the help I can get.

Throwaway email newlywedwithchild@yahoo.com

(If you feel the need to berate me about not being smart with birth control, feel free to keep that to yourself, please. No one could be harder on me about that than me right now.)

Sweet sweet/little baby/little fingers/little toes

Subterranean Homesick Pygmalion — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 06:50:45 -0800

What are some fun creative ways to announce me pregnancy tto my parents? I am looking for something that's not too corny, something on the darker side of humor.