Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with pregnant and pregnancy

What is (or is there any) relationship between cancer, pregnancy, and a fetus?

raztaj — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 15:06:19 -0800

What is (or is there any) relationship between cancer, pregnancy, and a fetus? I have been wondering for some time about the relationship between a pregnant mother with a late stage (3 or 4) cancer, and how this affects a fetus, if at all. Does it depend on the type of cancer? Are cancerous cells ever transferred from a mother to a fetus?

Have there been any studies about increased risk of certain cancers because of pregnancy? (i.e., not just familial history, but with the added factor of being in a womb of someone with late stage cancer)

I am curious about cancers in general, but bonus insight about melanoma would be good to know. My mom found out that she had stage 3 malignant melanoma the morning she went into the hospital to deliver me. In my late 20's now, I'm in very good health, and am conscious of sun-exposure and changes to moles, but still sometimes wonder about the effect of having cancer while pregnant.

Help us have sex again

Anonymous — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 09:40:33 -0800

My luverly wife and I had a baby a few months ago. He's a great little feller. We're now ready, physically, to have sex again but... (possibly NSFW) We haven't had sex in a long time, we pretty much stopped as soon as we found out we were pregnant. Our married sex life has always been quite unhealthy (unlike pre-marriage, which was great - WUWT?) but we love each other and all that and it's not threatening the relationship or anything.

But now we're ready to start again. Except I don't know where to start. Or how to start. My wife is beautiful and wonderful and she can certainly arouse me but the idea of going back to the awkward sex we were having for the year or two preceding the baby isn't exactly appealing.

I want us to do it right this time around and try to either get back to where we were pre-marriage or go somewhere different (if those carefree teenage-like mega-session-rompings aren't capable of being repeated).

Over-disclosure necessary as this is being posted anonymously: I'm game for anything, she's very sensitive and doesn't like much foreplay other than digital stimulation. I would love to get beyond her body issues (she won't let me do oral and any kind of general touching is, apparently, just tickling as far as she's concerned) but I don't know if that's possible. She likes sex, but something went wrong somewhere along the line (probably my fault, directly or indirectly) and I'd like to fix it. Naturally, suggesting that something is wrong and needs to be fixed would probably upset her quite a bit.

Please help. I'd really appreciate it if you could give specific advice (as opposed to "rekindle the romance" or "show her that you care and it's not all about sex".) Especially bearing in mind that we have a wee baby in the house so romantic getaways and things like that are a bit hard. Personal experience would be greatly valued and if you don't want to share here, feel free to write to me at readytohavesexafterbaby@gmail.com

Thanks, in advance.

Really, how screwed am I?

Anonymous — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 08:13:49 -0800

Am I being fired? I was recently converted from a full-time employee at a $5 billion multi-national company to a contractor working at the same company. Now, my contractor boss has called me in for meetings with the contracting company's HR rep for "issues". Oh yeah, I'm pregnant too. In July, my boss with the large multinational corp (who I'll call Big Company) called me into the office to say that I had two options since my position was being eliminated. I could take the severance package and be "laid off" or I could be converted to contractor and move to a lower level job I previously held at Big Company. My salary would increase a small amount to cover the additional cost for medical benefits with the Smaller Contracting Company. They repeatedly tell me it's not a demotion, but they had to make tough choices and thought that this would be a way to keep me in a job. I have had only positive reviews while being employed with Big Company.

When I looked into taking the job with the Smaller Contracting Company, several issues arose. The medical plan was not comparable which was no big surprise. I would earn less vacation, also not a surprise. However, I would have no maternity benefits. In addition, since I would not have been employed with the Smaller Contracting Company for more than a year I would not be eligible for FMLA. I brought this up as a serious issue and was given 6 weeks paid maternity. Finally, I was told that I wouldn't be eligible for COBRA because I was accepting the contractor role.

The contractor job is at Big Company, which is subcontracted by Small Company. I take the lower level contractor role at a slightly higher salary. My new boss, who is also a contractor, doesn't schedule regular one on ones with me or communicate to me in the same frequency or tone as my peers, generally avoids me, does not provide me the information I need to do my job, etc. Basically, we have some serious communication issues for which we are both responsible for.

I think the turning point of uncomfortable to serious was when I provided her feedback regarding one of my peers about 2 weeks ago. I covered for this person while they were on vacation and discovered many issues. In addition, I was asked by 3 coworkers in other departments to speak up about the issues surrounding this employee because many people feel that concerns voiced to my new boss have not been heard. When I raised the issues, my new boss got very defensive.

Monday she asked me to do something that I felt was unethical (I didn't tell her I thought it was unethical, but that's how I felt). I asked her to confirm with our finance folks on process before I proceeded.

Tuesday I worked from home and came in late Wednesday because we had gotten elevated risks on our baby for Trisomy 18. I was a total emotional wreck after receiving the news and thought it best to work from home. This situation has not helped me in "being cool". Between hormones and this news, I've pretty much cried at the drop of a hat.

Thursday she sends me a invite for me, her and her boss. I ask her boss about it and am told Small Contracting Company HR will be attending as well.

Friday we have the meeting and she pulls out a two page list of everything I'm doing wrong. I didn't keep my shit together and cry. I told her I felt cornered that the meeting came out of nowhere and that I wasn't prepared with my list of issues either. They call off the meeting because I'm a total wreck.

Now I'm sitting here trying to figure out my next steps. The fact there was a written list and the Smaller Company HR folks were there really makes me think they are trying to make a case for me to be fired.

Obviously, there's more to the story, but that's the general jist of it.

Here's the questions:
-Am I being fired?
-The nut in me thinks this may be a complex plot to eliminate me from the company in a manner that would have the lowest liability for the Big Company. Am I crazy?
-How should I meet with HR/bosses? I would like to propose we work on our communicating styles together in one meeting, so that at the next meeting we can discuss the "issues" in an understanding and supportive manner. Is this out of line? I hate the idea of preparing a tit for tat list and worry about delivering something like this.
-I have a multiple high risk pregnancy that makes it likely I may have pre-term labor. I am very worried about the stress on the baby and it contributing to this. My boss's boss has voiced a concern that may stress may be negative for my pregnancy. Should I ask to see if HR would be willing to make temporary medical accommodations for the stress induced by new boss? Ideally, I'd like to report to my boss's boss, although I am open to other positions. I think it would reduce stress dramatically.

Background:
The Smaller Contracting Company has over 50 employees, although maybe less than 150. It's hard to tell the total number because they work with a number of companies in the area.

I was employed with Big Company for 4 years. Big Company has serious financial troubles. There have been several rounds of lay-offs in the last year. In the past the lay-offs got rid of poor performers.

I will call a lawyer on Monday, but the meeting is on Monday, so insight is greatly appreciated.

This is in Texas.

We're pregnant; what do we do now?

drleary — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 20:57:03 -0800

Simple (hahaha) question; We just found out that we're pregnant this morning, what do we need to do now? Just this morning, we found out that we're pregnant (!), what do we need to do now? Prenatal vitamins, doctors appointments... what else? What did you do? I've read several lists that I've found on Google of what to buy and whatnot, but nothing about order to do things and what's MOST important.

I'm not talking about things to buy, specifically (although that's fine to include in your answer), but things to DO. Thank you so much, and wish me luck with my first!

What doesn't my pregnant wife know she needs?

um_maverick — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 09:52:33 -0800

Just found out that wifey is pregnant! I'd like to get her some small present(s), but it's too early for cravings, and she already has all of the books....what are some things that "all" pregnant wives need? Sorry if this is a dupe, but my searches kept on bringing up general pregnancy advice threads. We just found out that my wife is pregnant with our first. We're still at the very, very early stages, and while I'm aware that things can go wrong at this point, we're very excited. I'd like to pick up some things to help my wife, or generally just try to be a good husband. She has just about every "what to expect" as well as "funny pregnancy story" book printed. She's not craving anything yet, and has no outward body changes at this point, so new clothes/etc aren't going to work. She has been nauseous throughout the day (so much for "morning" sickness), but that's about it. Is there something that neither she nor I know yet that she's going to need? Should I just wait and address issues as they pop up?

Thanks!

So damn smug I need my own room.

shiu mai baby — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 07:15:45 -0800

Is it worth it to switch practices just to have a better shot at getting a private room? I'm pregnant, due at the beginning of October. While I'm technically classified as a high-risk on the account of being a diabetic, I've been very fortunate that everything has gone very smoothly so far. The practice of doctors that has guided me through this has been pretty great. I've had a lot of appointments, a lot of ultrasounds, and overall I've been very pleased with the people I've been working with. The only slight drawback is that it is a pretty huge practice, so while I know my main OB/GYN pretty well, there are about a dozen other OB/GYNs whom I haven't met, and my understanding is that, depending on when I give birth, any one of them could be delivering this kid.

Anyway, last night Mr. Shiu and I took the tour of the maternity ward of the hospital (call it Hospital A) that this practice is affiliated with. All told, it's a very nice hospital, and the MW seemed to be a good place to have a kid, with one major exception: they only have four private rooms, and all the rest can be converted to semi-private, if need be. Whether or not you get a private or semi-private room is luck of the draw, and whether or not your semi-private room has another patient in it is purely driven by how busy they are at that particular time. Pregnancy being the unpredictable thing that it is, there's no way to anticipate how busy they'll be when I go into labor, so maybe I'd get a private room, maybe I wouldn't.

And this is really, really worrisome to me (as if I didn't have enough to worry about, right?). The pregnancy has been a bit of a struggle for me, emotionally; like, I'm happy about it, obviously, but I've never been one of those OMG! BIOLOGICAL! CLOCK! women, I kind of hate the majority of twee shit that surrounds pregnancy and motherhood, and I am mortified at Victorian-era levels by even contemplating all the squicky details of the actual birth process. On top of that, I have a weird antisocial streak to begin with, which I can usually hide fairly well under normal circumstances, but I imagine that nice veneer will be thin and brittle indeed after the grueling process of giving birth.

Anyway, according to last night's tour, while the delivery is in a fully private room, you're in there for about two hours immediately post-partum before they move you into the room you'll be in for the rest of your stay. Maybe it will be private, maybe it won't, it all depends on volume on that particular day. Moreover, unless you luck into one of the four genuinely single-patient rooms, it might start out as private, but then you might get a roommate the next day. Can I just say, given all the details of the preceding paragraph, how very, very badly I do not want to share a room with another woman, separated by only a curtain? Seriously, the mere thought of it just makes me panicky. Not only that, but if you're sharing a room your S.O. can't stay overnight, whereas he/she can if you're in the room by yourself.

This morning I called the maternity ward at Hospital B in the area. It's a little farther away from us than Hospital A, but not unreasonably so. A friend of mine who lives in my neighborhood had her baby at Hospital B in February, and my next-door neighbor, who is also pregnant, will be having her baby there in January. According to the nurse I spoke to, the majority of the rooms in this MW are fully private, and they only do semi-private in the rarest of circumstances, e.g. when volume is ridiculously high. Furthermore, at the end of this month Hospital B will be opening their humongous new expansion, and when they do the maternity ward will be taking over the entire second floor, which means even more private rooms. As I said, this kid's not due until October, so things will almost certainly be settled with the expansion by the time I get around to having her.

On paper, at least, it would seem that Hospital B would be ideal. The problem, though, is that in order to have my baby at Hospital B I'd need to switch practices completely. Again, I'm technically high-risk, so this is a little more daunting than if it were a regular pregnancy. I have no idea how practices affiliated with Hospital B deal with high-risk pregnancies (although I'm certain that they do, they must), so I'm completely in the dark there. Since I'm diabetic, I have to be very closely monitored in the last eight weeks, too -- I have to go in for a fetal non-stress test twice a week. It also means that they might induce me early; at the very least, if I haven't gone naturally by my due date they are absolutely going to induce me on that date, because it's dangerous for women like me to go late.

So on one hand, I do feel sort of loyal to my practice, in that they've done a great job navigating me through this mess from the beginning, but on the other, I have major anxiety about sharing a room post-partum. Also, while I really like my current practice, it is, as I said, pretty huge, so I'm not, like, ultra-tight with any of the doctors. And I have no idea what to expect if I went to the other side of the fence. I'm fairly certain I'd be able to get a recommendation for a good doctor from one or both of my neighbors who are connected to two of the practices affiliated with Hospital B, but it's still a crapshoot. They'd probably be able to take care of me just fine, but there's no way to know that without actually pulling the trigger and making the switch.

Neither home-birth nor the crunchier birthing centers are options for me, given the high-risk status. Also, I <3 drugs, and intend to have the maximum amount of painkillers that they'll give me, so yeah, it's gotta be in a hospital.

And that's the conundrum currently percolating in my brain. Any suggestions, recommendations, and been-there-done-that insight would be deeply appreciated.

I'm just a girl who can't say no...

fermion — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 22:05:18 -0800

Song suggestions for a pregnancy-themed musical recital? (Broadway or opera preferred) A friend of mine who sings opera and musicals with various local organizations has recently become pregnant with her first child. She wants to put together a recital of pregnancy-themed songs, but she's having some trouble coming up with a good list. Can anyone suggest some fun and/or funny songs on the subject of pregnancy and childbirth that she can sing? She's a high soprano, if it makes a difference.

Miscarriage questions - please advise.

Anonymous — Thu, 07 May 2009 08:00:06 -0800

Need help diagnosing miscarriage/blighted ovum, specifics inside. Hi all, I'd love some feedback regarding the recent events in our pregnancy. This past Monday (3 days ago) my wife was 8 weeks pregnant. "Officially" pregnant - positive tests, all the symptoms (missed periods, sore breasts, enlarged belly, and confirmation from her OB/GYN). On Tuesday she experience heavy bleeding. Within hours she felt "different", and she seemed to know that she was miscarrying. Her breast soreness also decreased.

Wednesday she visited her doctor who performed an ultrasound and said there was an empty sac. They told her to come back for a followup ultrasound next week. She's experienced additional bleeding (not just spotting) and significant cramping as well.

Today (Thursday), she got a call from the Ob saying her bloodwork came back and her progesterone levels were very low, around 6.2 (they said they should be in the teens at this point). They want her to come back tomorrow for another round of bloodwork "before they can D&C".

So. To me, all signs point to a miscarriage of some sort - specifically an early pregnancy failure or "blighted ovum", as all the books/websites describe it. However, her doctor has never specifically said it IS a miscarriage, just told us the test results and basically said "tune in next time". Which is leaving us in an emotional wreck, without any idea what to do.

I guess my I'm basically looking for some form of confirmation. Some specific questions:

- Is there any chance that this is not a miscarriage? I've read about misdiagnosed blighted ovum scenarios, etc. One thing is for sure: We do NOT want to perform a D&C if there is ANY possibility of a continued pregnancy.
- Even if we get a followup ultrasound next week that shows an empty sac (at week 9), how can we be sure that there's still not a chance?
- What questions should we be asking the doctors about this situation?
- I know D&C is generally optional, and my wife is NOT AT ALL excited about having this procedure performed. But she's also terrified of the idea of letting it just "sit" inside her for an unknown length of time... How long should we really expect to wait for her body to eject it on its own? Is there some point where we should bite the bullet and have the D&C done?
- Any other relevant information would be great.

We're not looking for false hopes. We're basically resigned to the fact that this is a failed pregnancy one way or another, but our consciences will certainly not allow us to do anything to abort the pregnancy if there is any chance of viability. So what should we do, what should we know, and what should we ask?

(For those who care: We're doing "okay" emotionally. My wife is pretty fragile emotionally anyway, and she's been alternating between "trainwreck" and "sedate". I'm doing all I can for her - I took off work yesterday to take her out to lunch and walk the mall to get her mind off things, and I think it really helped. I'm taking care of the house, cooking, shopping, etc - she's off work and just taking it easy. We've drawn especially close these past couple days, and communicated openly about this situation, and I don't think there's much more we can do. The hardest thing for her is the not knowing - and when the doctor calls with an update that doesn't give us answers, only more questions, it destroys all the emotional progress she's made to cope with this and we have to start at square one. She just wants it to be over, I think, as sad as that fact is to handle. Also know that this was a planned pregnancy and that we're going to be trying again, but we're not about to throw this one out the window!!)

What's a good birthday gift for my wicked pregnant wife?

Mayor Curley — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 07:11:41 -0800

So my wife's birthday is coming up, and I need to get a gift. She's also due to have our first child in two weeks. Is there something that would be a nice gift that she would enjoy specifically while very pregnant and/or post-pregnant? Let's keep it around 100 bucks. Also, I'm most interested in stuff that's for her and not for babby. Seeing as how I'm supposed to raise it too or something.

How to tell the boss I'm knocked up?

Anonymous — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 14:33:00 -0800

How do I tell my new boss that I am pregnant? I've read the general tips online, but I'm looking for first-hand experiences from those who have travelled this treacherous path before me. How did you handle this, and what did you learn?

FWIW, I work in higher education administration. I am in a new position (about a month), with significantly more responsibility, in a department I've worked in for several years. I'm 3 months pregnant with my first child. I plan to go on leave for a few months and then come back to work while my partner stays home. My new boss is an older, childless, powerful, not-very-warm-or-fuzzy woman -- in other words, I worry what psychology will play into how she hears my news -- and I definitely am still in a position where I need to earn her trust and confidence.

My instincts tell me to buy myself as much time as I can. I'm thinking of making it a habit to bring a huge box of donuts to work every day to give the impression that I'm just porking up. This, sadly, is the best idea I've had so far. Please hope me.

How can I maximize my chances at an upgrade due to pregnancy?

k8t — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 04:12:53 -0800

How can I maximize my chances for a free airline upgrade due to pregnancy? I'll be flying at 29 weeks pregnant and I'd love to get an upgrade into a better class.

The first leg of the trip is Yerevan, Armenia - London (~5 hours) on British Med and the flight should be full this time of year. I figure on this end they'll either offer or be jerks about it.

Then I have a 20 hour layover in London and my SO will be joining me for the next leg of the flight. I figure I will ask the Yerevan desk to NOT ASSIGN ME a seat, because I want SO to sit with me. (Unless they can upgrade us both without him being there?) But I do want them to check my luggage through to Los Angeles (Can they do that without assigning me a seat?).

Then the next flight is London - Los Angeles (~11 hours) on United. Our plan is to go to the airport relatively early, ask the people at the United desk to please upgrade us. (And I do have some air miles, but not enough for both of us.)

So, my questions are:
- how can I maximize my efforts at the London United desk? I will wear a shirt that makes me look as obviously pregnant as possible. Should I bring documentation of how pregnant I am?
- can I have the Yerevan desk check my luggage through without assigning me a seat for London-LAX?

My wife is pregnant. What can I expect?

zardoz — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 19:21:20 -0800

So the wife is pregnant! What do we do now? I'm looking for all manner of informative sites on pregnancy and what to expect. My wife is about 4 or so weeks pregnant. (We haven't actually had a test yet, but there are a LOT of signs that point in that direction; it's the only thing that it could be at this point.)

So I know there must be a wealth of info out there for mothers-to-be, but I especially want to know what I can do for my wife during the pregnancy. For example, what food should she be eating or not eating? How do I know if she's experiencing something more than morning sickness? I have hundreds more, but you get the idea.

Books would be nice, but good online resources are even better. Where do I start to learn about being pregnant? Well, the wife, anyway. Me, just vicariously.

Plan for post-partum family visits?

Anonymous — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 07:32:11 -0800

What's a good plan for post-partum family visits? Our first baby is due in early November. We feel prepared and are comfortable in infant care (both IRL and in the numerous books we've read). We have flexible schedules and generous parental leave time. We also have a large helpful circle of friends.

Our families want to visit from out-of-town when baby is born and perhaps even be present for the birth. This could be 4-9 adults at once.

First concern: there are particular family members who are very anxious and their anxiety/presence triggers my anxiety.

Second concern: we have a pull-out couch in the living room and a futon in the office/baby room but only 1 bathroom. Plus, hotels? Rental cars? Airport pick ups? We're gonna be the ones organizing all this. And we don't really have seating for more than 6 at a time.

Questions:

First, do we really need "Help" like people say we do? (We have in-house laundry and dishwasher, 3 grocery stores, 2 pharmacies, and dozens of take-out places within a 8 minute walk. And we've stocked up on baby stuff and frozen food to the gills.) Will I regret not having 4-9 "Helpers"?

And second, how do we tell them that we don't want them/need them around for the birth? (Some are going to be pissed.)

Third, then how can we properly schedule visits to satisfy their need to see the baby "early" and have them also be useful?

Fourth, is it easier to stagger guests or have them all at once and rip the band-aid off?

Fifth, how long is enough? 1 week? 4 days? They probably want to come for weeks.

One thought: Thanksgiving, when baby is 2-4 weeks old. Another thought: just suck it up and let them come and tolerate it when they are here.

Any suggestions are welcome!

What should we read to know what my pregnant wife should be eating?

MythMaker — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 14:23:56 -0800

Recommendations on what diet my 6-week pregnant wife should be following. We just recently found out that we're pregnant, and trying to figure out what my wife should and shouldn't be eating. What are the books or websites to look at that are reliable sources of information? Thanks.

Pregnancy after a youth of drink and drugs?

londongeezer — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 09:05:34 -0800

Assuming a woman has given up alcohol, to which she was strongly attached for 15 years, and has also given up cocaine and ecstasy (MDMA), which she used regularly, and she is now drink and drug free: could this past of substance-abuse affect her pregnancy in any way? And if so, what could she do to minimise the effects? For clarity: she's not pregnant at the moment, but would like to have a baby. (Everything I turn up on Google relates to the use of alcohol and drugs during pregnancy, not before.)

I'm scared

Anonymous — Thu, 15 May 2008 16:30:54 -0800

what are the chances she's pregnant? i had relations with a girl yesterday. we were both bottomless and i rubbed my penis on her vagina. there was minimal insertion, and no pre-ejaculation. however at the end i masturbated onto her leg, and a little bit touched her vagina... right in the opening. I immediately got a dry paper towel and wiped it off until she was dry. on a scale of 1-10, what are the chances she could get pregnant, with 10 being almost certain?

How did you tell your family that you were/are pregnant?

Anonymous — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 06:09:02 -0800

How did you announce to your family that you were/are pregnant? We're pregnant. Yay. This wasn't planned or expected though, although we're very happy. While we've been living together for 6+ years and we're in our 30s, I think that this is going to be a bit of a shock for our families. How did you tell your folks/family? We're 2 months along and live quite far from our families. They'll probably be happy, but shocked.

First they take away my tuna fish...

Asparagirl — Sun, 21 Oct 2007 18:04:20 -0800

California legal/medical/ethical question: In advance of my going to the hospital to give birth within the next few weeks, I decided to download and fill out California's standard Advance Health Care Directive form, i.e. a living will (and to have my husband fill his out too, as long as we were at it). However, Google informs me via multiple sources that this form, even if signed and notarized, is "not valid if pregnant". WTF? Some sources, possibly older ones, say that a "living will" and a "health care power of attorney" are (or were) two separate things under California law. However, the only actual form I have found online, the Advance Health Care Directive form from the California Hospital Assiciation, is exactly the same as the one listed in the actual California Probate Code, except more nicely formatted for printing, and while it is considered the former of the two categories, a "living will", the California Medical Association's very helpful FAQ states that this Advance Health Care Directive Form now supersedes the old health care power of attorney. It's the form to fill out for California residents. But if it's also considered a living will, then does the "not valid if pregnant" rule come into effect?

I have not found any explanation as to why a pregnant woman would be unable to declare her own health care preferences, especially since California law goes out of its way to mention that a woman's right to abortion can be neither compelled nor denied, regardless of what her health care directive says.

So:
1) How can I declare my health care wishes in a legally binding manner prior to my giving birth?
and
2) The form is (or maybe was) considered invalid while pregnant? Seriously, WTF?

Early pregnancy tests

Anonymous — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 19:49:25 -0800

Are those early pregnancy tests reliable? I'm thinking about taking one of those at-home early pregnancy tests- you know, the ones that you can take 5 days before a missed period. Does anyone have experience with these? Mainly, have you taken one, had it give you a negative result and then found out a week later you were actually pregnant? Or vice versa? I'm just wondering if I should bother, or if 5 days early really is too early.
Thanks!

Trying to get pregnant after coming off pill!

It ain't over yet — Sun, 09 Sep 2007 19:16:54 -0800

Trying to get pregnant after coming off pill! Help! I am a 32 year-old woman. I've been on birth control since I was in my teens. I came off the pill 4.5 months ago, in anticipation of trying to get pregnant. So far, my cycles remain irregular. Sometimes four weeks, sometimes five, sometimes six... Pretty skimpy output (sorry). Been trying to get pregnant for the last month -- with no results. I don't expect overnight success, but how long do I have to wait until my cycle returns to normal? How long should I wait before worrying?

my wife is pregnant; we need easy healthy things to cook.

BigBrownBear — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 12:50:01 -0800

my wife is pregnant; we need easy healthy things to cook. on the weekends we make great thing: homemade pastas & pizzas, fresh fish, stews, etc. but during the working week we don't have the time or energy to prepare elaborate dishes.

any suggestions for things quick and easy (that will also be good for the bun in the over)?

Novels Including or Focusing on Pregnancy

lynda — Fri, 20 Apr 2007 07:52:06 -0800

BookFilter: I’m pregnant and would love recommendations for fictional books including or centering on pregnant characters. I'm having a hard time finding non-teen pregnancy related novels. Amazon's site and listmania searches are all but useless. It seems that all women want to read when they're pregnant are non-fiction "how to" and "what to expect" types of books. I want to read novels as well though!

I especially love historical fiction and appreciate natural childbirths, so I believe I’d really enjoy a less contemporary look at pregnancy in fiction, though if there are contemporary examples which aren’t riddled with talk of medical interventions, those would be fun too. Although I'm not opposed to reading about pregnancies with complications, I worry enough as it is, so please don't include novels that are all doom and gloom or end with the mother or baby dying during childbirth.

I hate chick-lit and I’m not really into those “funny” pregnancy books like Jenny McCarthy’s or that Girlfriend’s Guide.

Any recommendations would be much appreciated!

Which aches are normal during pregnancy?

hsoltz — Mon, 06 Nov 2006 08:52:50 -0800

[PregnancyFilter] In the second trimester, which aches and pains are a normal part of the experience, and which require immediate medical attention? I'm 18 weeks pregnant, and I'm feeling a lot of stretching and mild abdominal unease in addition to the very identifiable round ligament pain. My doctor isn't too concerned, and explained at my last visit that I'm probably feeling my uterus growing. But she did say to call her if I felt worse.

Now, of course, I'm sensitive to every little feeling in my body, and if I look up any sort of symptom the book or site invariably says both, "Some aches, cramps, and pains are completely normal during pregnancy" and "Contact your doctor if you're feeling any discomfort or pain." Never having been through this before, how do I know which aches and pains are par for the course, and which are truly problematic? (Obviously anything that really hurts is cause for a phone call, but I'm talking about the more middle range, "I feel like staying in bed" discomforts. I don't want to be alarmist, but I also don't want to ignore anything that might be important.)

Am I doomed to another another failed epidural the next time I have a baby?

echolalia67 — Fri, 27 Oct 2006 14:47:52 -0800

PregnancyFilter: Was the size of my baby the reason that the epidurals didn't work? 3 months ago, I gave birth to my son after 42 hours of labor. He weighed in at 9 lbs, 10 oz and was 20 & 3/4 inches long.

Needless to say, the process was long and extremely painful and in the end they needed to use forceps to get him out because I was simply exhausted. I had two epidurals; the first one failed completely, the second one would only work for a short while before I'd be screaming for additional pain meds.

After he was born, various medical staff said that, from time to time, epidurals fail. One said rather casually that it wasn't suprising, given how big he was. Is this true?

Given that women in my family are prone to having big babies (I was 8 & 1/2 lbs, my brother was 10 lbs, 10 oz and my Auntie Ann gave birth to one that weighed in at 12 lbs, no C-Sections on any of these) I'd kinda like to know if this is something I should expect for the next one. Yes, in spite of it all I want to have another one.

I'm afraid I'm pregnant, but maybe I'm just crazy.

Anonymous — Thu, 20 Jul 2006 06:47:09 -0800

Could a moderate diet and a lot of stress account for my missed period? I should have gotten my period on Sunday. I've been extremely regular since I went on the pill four years ago. But twice in the last month I didn't take the pill at the right time, and then this. So I was worried.
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I took a pregnancy test Monday and another today. Both were clear negatives. But my breasts are swollen, I'm feeling nauseous and bloated, and these symptoms have never happened to me all at the same time before.

I've been working out a lot lately -- doing cardio and weights three days a week for about 2 hours each time at the gym, and going hiking every weekend. And I've been dieting.

According to the calorie tracker I use, I've been eating about 1480 calories of food every day, and I've been burning about 270 calories every day, on average. That leaves out about three hours of weightlifting per week.

I am going to call the doctor and see if she can fit me in on Thursday or Friday of next week, when I already have time off. For my bachelorette party. I have just started a new job, and all of my sick leave and paid time off for the next few months are going toward my wedding a week from Saturday and my honeymoon the following week.

I plan to eat badly, drink a lot, smoke a lot in the lead up to the wedding.

So I'm trying to figure out if stress, exercise and diet are a likely explanation for my missed period, despite the other symptoms of pregnancy. Should I chill out? Should I approach this with more urgency?

If I am pregnant, I will get an abortion. Which totally freaks me out, even though it's what I want. I don't know if I should be thinking about this now or what I should do if this is the case. I've never made this kind of doctor's appointment before and I don't even know if I should take my own neurotic ramblings seriously.

Any advice on how to approach my situation until I hear more from the doctor?