http://ask.metafilter.com/tags/pre-marital Questions tagged with 'pre-marital' at Ask MetaFilter. Tue, 26 Aug 2008 13:24:00 -0800 Tue, 26 Aug 2008 13:24:00 -0800 en-us http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss 60 http://ask.metafilter.com/100170/To%2Dfornicate%2Dor%2Dnot%2Dto%2Dfornicate Looking for practical input from those familiar with dating members of the Christian/Protestant clergy I'm a woman in my early 30s and I met a man last year in his late 30s who is a minister at a local Protestant church. We met on a dating website. He is, I'm assuming, actively and openly dating. (We live about an hour apart, me closer to the city. I've never been to his town and we socialize in the city together.) My questions lack definition but the general gist is that I'm wondering what I may need to anticipate that would differ from my usual expectations of dating someone who is not a church leader. (I was raised in a Congregational church in the northeast, baptized and confirmed, but I'm no longer an active member and know little to nothing about the "rules" of the church.) <br> <br> Does anyone know whether I should anticipate complications along the lines of a conflict with pre-marital sex? <br> <br> I'm also curious about a potentially public role as his life partner. We've had a couple pretty direct conversations about him being with someone who's not a member of the church and he said it shouldn't complicate things for him. I have these visions of "church wife" and a public role a la a politician's wife or something. Could he really be being straight with me that he doesn't forsee it as an issue that I'm not an active member of his church? Or that I at times pretty openly question my faith? (And if he's not being straight with me, and just looking to get laid, which seems a natural counterpoint here, then that brings me back to question 1.)<br> <br> I'm confused and I find that it's hard to get all of the answers I want without being too presumptuous (we're dating - asking many detailed questions about my potential role as his wife is a little cart before the horse) or seemingly condescending. I'm sort of out in a universe of my own here. Most of my friends are so completely incredulous that I'm dating a minister in the first place, our conversations begin and end with that fact. <br> <br> If anyone knows any ministers personally, could you share what you know of their dating lives? Thanks so much! tag:ask.metafilter.com,2008:site.100170 Tue, 26 Aug 2008 13:24:00 -0800 minister pre-marital religion sex smallstatic