Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with potential

Mama said knock you out

Anonymous — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 07:39:30 -0800

How can someone who's 40 years old suddenly reach their potential? At the moment I'm working as a claims adjuster with people 10 years younger than me. I'm drinking every day and my marriage is not in trouble, but my wife is definitely unhappy. I have a job and a wife and am middle class, so I hope my question isn't perceived as Whinerfilter - I am, for the most part very fortunate. Are there examples of people turning it around at 40? My inspiration is Ali vs. Foreman in Zaire (http://www.metacafe.com/watch/yt-N44vdCqI7LI/when_we_were_kings_ali_vs_foreman/). George Foreman was considered indestructible at the time: On of Ali's friends says, "People thought he(George Foreman) would kill Ali. And then, right before the fight, Ali told me he had a plan. He was gonna go out and hit Foreman with a straight right hand as soon as the bell rang. I said, 'No champ! You're gonna dance.' And he told me, 'No, I'm going out and hit Foreman upside his head, so he'll know he's in a fight.' I want to be Ali. I feel I have some fight left in me - I just don't know how to cultivate it. I've been dancing too long - I wan't to hit life with a straight right hand.

How can I find/identify people who are open to dating rather than just hookups?

Anonymous — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 11:01:46 -0800

How can I find/identify people who are open to dating rather than just hookups? I'm interested in dating, but I'm not interested in hookups or one-night stands. It's difficult for me to find guys who are on the same page. I'm female, in my early 20s, in a major city. I've had a few relationships in the past, but I'm unattached, and I have been for awhile (not forever, but long enough).

Typically if I go to a bar/party/meetup/whatever, I will be approached by a fair amount of guys. My preference is not to approach, but it's not a big deal -- I don't have a problem with going to talk to a cute/interesting-looking guy if it doesn't seem like he's coming over. The issue is that although the guys are interested, they only want casual hookups, they're not in a space for possible relationships . . . they just got out of a long-term relationship, or they want to play the field, or they're too focused on their career, or whatever. It's fine for them, it just doesn't match with me.

My friends confirm that I come off as friendly, cool, and not slutty. Although obviously my type will never appeal to everyone, I guess objectively I'm reasonably attractive -- I do some modeling work (plus-size -- I'm a 12). I was definitely an ugly duckling, so my confidence in my looks isn't totally there yet, but it's on its way and I think I do a good job of faking the rest. My confidence in other areas is just fine (I have a cool career under control, and I have a handful of hobbies that I do pretty well at and am always learning more about). I don't dress provocatively -- I feel more comfortable when I'm hinting at my curves rather than showing skin. I don't think it's that the guys I meet only want hookups because of what I'm projecting -- I think that's just their interest in general no matter who the girl in question is.

I'm not looking to date in a desperate "I must find Mr. Right immediately" way. I really don't think the next guy I'm with will last forever, and I'm perfectly okay with that. So EHarmony is not the right answer! But I like finding good people and spending time with them, and although I like myself and I'm comfortable with being single, I'd like to do that with one person in an exclusive relationshippy sexual way. I'm just having trouble finding someone I like who's on the same page.

Although I'm in my early 20s, almost all of my friends are about 26-28, and that's what people usually guess I am. Guys 24-28ish seem to be about playing the field (who can blame them -- they're in their 20s in New York). I dated some older (early 30s) guys thinking they might be more interested in exclusivity, but their thought process seems to be "she's so young, she must only be here for fun." I am honest about what I'm looking for, and okay with discussing it, but I don't think people really believe someone's that guileless.

At this point it probably seems like the question is screaming for a "FWB!!!" answer, but friends with benefits doesn't really work for me. If I like and respect the guy as a friend, and am attracted to him, and start sleeping with him, it would lead to me wanting more than just FWB; if I find him attractive but I don't like him as a person, and I fool around with him anyway, I feel terrible afterwards. And again, I find casual hookups to be not what I'm looking for, and not really fun, and just generally not a good option for me.

So where can I find guys who are okay with exclusive dating? Or, in a normal environment (bar/whatever), how can I feel a guy out about that without sounding like I'm desperately seeking a giant rock and 2.5 kids when I'm really not interested in either of those?

Goodly drawn girl

self — Sun, 25 May 2008 22:03:52 -0800

Have you ever known someone with so much artistic potential, who does nothing with it? My girlfriend is a very talented illustrator. She will sit and idle doodle amazing little scenes, creatures, and people while talking or sitting with me. I am constantly amazed at how casually she comes up with these drawings, as they rival some of the best stylized illustrations I've seen out there.

However, she has no faith in her own work while also seeming to take her talent for granted. I've tried and tried to convince her otherwise, but to no avail.

I've tried giving her projects- like draw a couple quirky characters for my band's site or CD, but she always puts it off and if I push her at all, she feels like she's under too much pressure. I've also tried using her own ideas as inspiration- she's interested in tshirt design and silkscreening, but when I offer to screen whatever she wants onto a shirt, she shies away.

How can I help her realize her potential without being overbearing?

She has a vague idea for a children's book (though currently sans illustration), and loves Yositomo Nara's work, so I'm going to buy her this as a gift. But I'd love to hear what else I might be able to do.

Any ideas?

My rib roast is finishing too early. How can I let my meat loaf?

donpardo — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 13:11:00 -0800

My 11 lb rib roast is about to be finished early (4:00 for a 6:30 dinner). The roast is currently out of the oven, wrapped in foil and a towel, sitting at 115 degrees. I'm planning on putting it back at 5 or so to bring it up to 125, then blast it at 500 after it sits for a bit (I'm using Alton Brown's method). Is this a reasonable approach? Or should I just plan on making hash?

Details: My oven can handle as low as 110 reliably. I'm planning on making Yorkshire Pudding, but I'll be happy to skip that to save the roast.

Too Young to Be Washed Up

Anonymous — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 18:36:58 -0800

How do you keep from feeling guilty that you didn't "live up to your potential"? 30 is too young to feel like you're past your peak. (Long background explanation begins here) Before I was 18, I'd been heavily involved in professional performance art and modeling (so got used to seeing my picture in the paper frequently, etc), was in the top 2% academically (took college classes for high school credit), lettered in 2 different sports, dabbled with a couple instruments, volunteered, and taught children's theater classes in the summer. and so on and so forth. Sometime in university, I crashed and burned, hard. I dropped out of uni and bummed around for a few years before eventually getting my degree. I am now staring down the barrel of my thirties, having accomplished nothing at my early days had hinted. I'm employed in an un-inspiring, not-great-paying job, doing nothing spectacular...generally, I'm disappointed in how I turned out. Someone else out there must be going through this.

How do I quit feeling like I should have done more? How to logic away the guilt I feel for "wasting my potential"? Did I even HAVE potential?

Will a laptop power connector kill you if you put the end in your mouth?

Caviar — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 10:04:13 -0800

How dangerous is the business end of a Macbook MagSafe laptop power cable to a small child? Do laptop power cables have any sort of circuitry to prevent them from shocking you? The Macbook mag cables are pretty easy to pull out, and about the right size for a small child to decide that this should go in their mouth. Obviously, these should not just be left lying around where babies are playing, but when using a computer near a baby, there's always a danger that they'll reach out and grab something before you can stop them. The MagSafe connectors seem like a bit more risk because of the relatively little effort it takes to disconnect them.

How bad would this be? A mild shock? Fatal? I've never heard of a single case like this.

I already called Apple tech support. They couldn't answer the question and referred me to my local Apple authorized support dealer, who I don't really consider an authority on child safety. As you might expect, I'm somewhat reluctant to experiment.