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mmf — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 00:20:07 -0800

What kind of specialist should my daughter consult? She has post-partum hpertension. Following a c-section at 37 weeks because of pre-eclampsia (welcome to our first beautiful grandchild!) her blood pressure has been quite volatile, from 140/89 to 179/98. Her normal is 120ish over 90ish. She has been rehospitalized twice in the nine days since her delivery. Put on a magnesium sulfate drip and is on Labetalol (now 300mg 2x a day). Additionally, she has had a few episodes of supraventricular tachycardia that took her to a cardiologist a few years ago. Her OB seems ready to pass her along to an internist. I guess I wonder if there is a specialist that would be more experienced in this area. SHe lives in Fairfield County, CT. WHat kind of doc should she go to that would be most expert in this type of situation? If someone has a recommendation of a specific doc, that would be great, too. Also anyone who has experienced postpartum hypertension and has tips for managing this problem, we would welcome them.

Best lube for postpartum sex?

Anonymous — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 16:57:47 -0800

What is the best lube for postpartum sex? I'm a little past two months postpartum with my first child, and looking forward to having a sex life again. Everything I've read has said "use lots of lube postpartum!" but I'm not sure what to use. I've used typical drugstore stuff pre-baby (KY, Astroglide), and I didn't like them very much (Astroglide was better than KY, but not by much).

Three factors that may change the answer to this question:

1. I'm exclusively breastfeeding, and plan to continue doing so for at least another 6-7 months.

2. I'm just starting a new birth control pill (Alesse, so it's low-dose)

3. I had an episiotomy and third-degree lacerations during the birth so I was "ripped and snipped" from stem to stern (sorry for the TMI visuals). I'm mostly healed, but won't be trying anything until I feel a little better about how the cut is healing - the tearing seems to be okay.

I know that items #1 and #2 both contribute to dryness which is why lube is recommended. Items #3 just makes me nervous to try anything - I don't want to undo all the healing I've already done.

I checked out this question, and it addresses some of my issue, but it doesn't cover the postpartum-specific stuff.

I realize that postpartum sex will be different and less-than-perfect for the first little while. I just want to try and take all the steps I can to make it go as well as possible, so any other tips are welcome. Thanks for any advice you are willing to give about such a personal matter.

Post-partum libido, where are you?

otherwordlyglow — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 19:29:43 -0800

How long did it take for your libido to return to normal after giving birth? I'm 5 months post-partum and am breastfeeding. My heretofore normal and, I thought, regular sex drive disappeared while I was pregnant and is still on the lam. I miss it. I know there are biological reasons that I'm not feeling the urge like I once did but when will my long-lost and beloved sex drive come back? Do I have to quit breastfeeding? I'm 40 and am not on any birth control. I haven't really menstruated yet though I had a little bit of something last month. I am not pregnant again. My husband is extremely supportive and is not pressuring me in any way but I no longer get all that aroused and have trouble orgasming and these things were never a problem before. Currently, my little girl is sleeping 12 hours a night so we have plenty of time to do it, I just never want to. At what point should I be checking in with my doctor to see what I can do? Does the libido return at some point? Please say yes!!!!

ISO respectable Momwear

kmennie — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 11:09:43 -0800

Can you suggest some fall/winter clothes for me, given certain constraints? SAHM, suddenly muscular, don't want to succumb to sloppiness. I am now a stay-at-home mother of a toddler, which means I am stuck in very wash-and-wear, hardwearing, easy to move in clothes. Obviously jeans and t-shirts are my friends, but I'd rather not totally give up, appearance-wise.

I've developed giant arm muscles from hauling baby everywhere and the tailored stuff I used to wear is totally out, and I have no idea how to flatter/downplay big arms. I am a size 4-6 in pants, 12ish in tops; fit is a problem. Button-down shirts look lousy given that they have to be such a big size to fit my arms. I still have a wee bit of flub on my belly, so clingy knits are out, too, and all t-shirts seem too short now. Finding fitting tops that are not sloppy (see "hardwearing"), slutty (no cheapo rayon, please), or matronly (eg, Lands' End) is a real problem.

Shoes I can spend the day running around in that don't look sloppy are also hard to find.

Budget is not a major constraint if it's worth it, if it looks like a normal adult would wear it out to lunch but it can still be used to build leaf piles in. I'd go with a few nice sweaters if I had any idea what sort of sweater didn't make a big-armed girl look just plain fat.

Either general tips or specific suggestions are greatly appreciated.

Plan for post-partum family visits?

Anonymous — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 07:32:11 -0800

What's a good plan for post-partum family visits? Our first baby is due in early November. We feel prepared and are comfortable in infant care (both IRL and in the numerous books we've read). We have flexible schedules and generous parental leave time. We also have a large helpful circle of friends.

Our families want to visit from out-of-town when baby is born and perhaps even be present for the birth. This could be 4-9 adults at once.

First concern: there are particular family members who are very anxious and their anxiety/presence triggers my anxiety.

Second concern: we have a pull-out couch in the living room and a futon in the office/baby room but only 1 bathroom. Plus, hotels? Rental cars? Airport pick ups? We're gonna be the ones organizing all this. And we don't really have seating for more than 6 at a time.

Questions:

First, do we really need "Help" like people say we do? (We have in-house laundry and dishwasher, 3 grocery stores, 2 pharmacies, and dozens of take-out places within a 8 minute walk. And we've stocked up on baby stuff and frozen food to the gills.) Will I regret not having 4-9 "Helpers"?

And second, how do we tell them that we don't want them/need them around for the birth? (Some are going to be pissed.)

Third, then how can we properly schedule visits to satisfy their need to see the baby "early" and have them also be useful?

Fourth, is it easier to stagger guests or have them all at once and rip the band-aid off?

Fifth, how long is enough? 1 week? 4 days? They probably want to come for weeks.

One thought: Thanksgiving, when baby is 2-4 weeks old. Another thought: just suck it up and let them come and tolerate it when they are here.

Any suggestions are welcome!

Ways to keep being the rock for my family?

Anonymous — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 18:58:54 -0800

I just had a baby, and I'm looking for ways to keep being the "strong one." My wife and I just had a baby a few weeks ago, and things with the baby are going swimmingly. She's well behaved, mom gets paid maternity leave, and I'm even getting paid paternity leave, so I've been around to tag-team with her 24/7.

However, she's getting past dealing with the hormones and baby blues, but has gone on a drug to help boost her breastmilk production that we were warned may bring them back temporarily. 95% of the time she's okay, has a ball playing with the baby and feeding her and so forth, but periodically she has big weeping sessions and I'm of course the one to talk her down.

Most of these moments don't have any basis other than just random tears, but sometimes the exhaustion and pumping and feeding get to her. She worries that she's not going to be a good mother sometimes, she feels guilty because she mourns losing the life we had together before our baby, which is of course now gone forever.

I don't personally believe that she's in postpartum depression , though of course IANAD, but as I said, nearly all of the time she's happy and loves spending time with him. These bouts of sadness and worry are short-lived and getting rarer.

Even so, they're sort of taking their toll on me. I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't have the luxury of falling apart, the only one who needs to be strong and together, the one who is expected to deal with all the crying from both mother and daughter. This is difficult on top of the exhaustion. I need a pressure release valve, so I guess I'm asking for ways to vent this so I can keep filling that role without burning out. Ideas?

I need to lose the weight I gained while I was pregnant ASAP, any suggestions??

libelula — Wed, 01 Feb 2006 05:10:15 -0800

I need to lose the weight I gained while I was pregnant ASAP, any suggestions?? I know the South Beach Diet was/is very popular… My baby is 8 months and I am not nursing her anymore so I can take on strict diets…. I am 25 pounds heavier than I was before I got pregnant and I would like to fit back into my jeans because the winter is getting colder. I have no help with my baby and can only count with our daily walks as a form of exercise, occasionally I can escape and go back to training (Karate & Kick Boxing), but since I had a C-section I need to be cautious with my workout.

I need a diet that tastes good and that has some good recipes. I have no patience for keeping counts of my calories ….. I just want a guide that is easy to follow…. I am home most of the time so I can cook, but I also have an 8 month old baby that consumes most of my time so I need something simple and easy…I have checked a couple of sites where you can monitor your food and weight online but it seems awfully complicated….

Thanks in advance!

Do hormones mess with your head?

Alison — Fri, 16 Dec 2005 14:17:16 -0800

Does anyone have any experiences with pregnancy and postpartum hormones having a negative effect on mathematical or logic skills? I work in a pretty male-dominated field. Because I’m looking to find ways to integrate childbearing into an academic career I attend mentoring meetings between female graduate students and faculty. I recently had an informal lunch discussion with just a few faculty members where they talked about how their research suffered after giving birth, with one losing out on tenure as a result. They were very insistent that the changes in their thinking were due to hormones rather than the lack of sleep and stress that come with a newborn. Mostly, they expressed that the theories they devised were lacking and any research they did explore ended up not making sense on review. They also emphasized that they were just fine with teaching and administrative work.

I’m glad to have people who will be honest with me about what happened to them, but at the same time I feel like this might be anecdotal. Several of the people I look up to most have children, and I can’t tell where child bearing has affected their body of work. However, I can’t imagine many female faculty members admitting something like this when most have to fight for acceptance in their field.

I know lots of faculty members who have managed to have a family and an academic career, but it can be hard to ask someone if their work suffered due to postpartum hormones. This is a very sensitive subject and I am aware that hormones can be very subjective. However, I feel like this information is very relevant to some decisions I’ll need to make in a few years and I would like to hear from other Mefites about their experiences. I am especially interested in hearing first-hand experiences or from spouses. Also, if anyone knows about any scientific studies relevant to this discussion I would be happy to see them.

I know that this is the sort of thing that creates a tough environment for female faculty members, but I need honest answers so that I can try to have a contingency plan for my research.