Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with pornography

You guys are so good at doing this with movies and childrens' books...

Jonathan Harford — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 20:08:59 -0800

My friend (no, really!) is hoping to somehow find the green-headbanded porn film that imprinted on his 14-year-old brain in the mid-90s. [NSFW, natch] "Looked very eighties, I seem to remember the woman looked kind of like Linda Hamilton (circa Terminator 1). She was wearing a drab green or olive green headband across her forehead, eighties style. It was just her and some guy. They did anal, along with everything else. The year it was watched, on VHS tape, was 1993. Possibly a darkish room with just a bed and no furnishings. Caucasian woman with light brown or possibly blond hair. Pubes were not alarmingly overgrown by 14 yo boy standards."

Are we fishing for a needle in a haystack?

Possible porn addict looking for options

Anonymous — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 18:25:12 -0800

Am I addicted to pornography? If I am, what can I do? Is there a Porn Addicts Anonymous? This is a question I have wanted to ask for a while but didn't think I could until right about now when, after days of not looking at porn, I had a short online viewing session and felt bad (again!). I am mainly looking to hear from other people who have been in this place and have advice based on their experience, though I am grateful for any input.

My questions are: 1) Am I addicted to pornography, as opposed to just being another horny 20-something? 2) If I am, what can I do? I have seen therapists, and have recently been considering attending a group - but I really don't know where to go, or what I might be getting into.

Number One. Am I an addict? The fact that I even need to ask is, I realise, a big give away, but I am still confused.

I started seeing pornography at an early age and it soon became a significant part of my daily routine. I had unlimited access to the net from my early teens and have regularly found myself, all through school and college, looking at it for one or two hours a day, perhaps more. Those are hours when I had intended to do something else but ended up on the net instead. Partly this is because I was a student with little to do in general. Nowadays, I don’t find myself running off to the toilets at work to wank because I am too busy and barely think about it. But the urge hits me frequently in idle moments, and the kinds of things I want to look at tend to become more and more extreme over time. This worries me enormously and I have frequently had feelings of shame. I have desperately wanted to conceal the amount I looked at porn, and the material I looked at, from everyone I knew.

I saw a therapist, while younger, to help with feelings of inadequacy and urges I was deeply ashamed of. I have struggled to come to terms with the things I have occasionally run into online - some of it illegal, always accidentally stumbled across and swiftly deleted, some of it really distasteful things that I actively pursued. It was all stuff that left me ashamed of being found out and unhappy with who I was. After regular episodes of bottoming out, sometimes alienating others because of my usage, and then swearing off porn forever before slowly getting back into it, I recently took some fairly drastic measures. I went to a family member, admitted my problem, downloaded software that regulated my activities and let them choose the passwords. I use less porn but don’t feel fully accountable because I could, at worst, tell them to fuck off if they tried to confront me and there would not be much in the way of consequences. But it has had a substantial effect on me.

Things are different now to when I used it in the past. I look at vaguely sexy stuff maybe once a fortnight as opposed to hardcore porn once a day. I have a good job that I am proud to do, lots of friends, a girlfriend I love, and basically the kind of life I thought I would be doing well to have when I was younger and less confident. But I can’t shake off the pornography. It still haunts my thoughts at all hours. I feel like a dry drunk, not using but still with the same problems I always had. The bad feelings, in this ‘dry’ period, have certainly diminished but without quite going away.

I don’t know why I have these urges – is it plain old habit, or something much more powerful? – did something traumatic happen to me, or am I simply a normal guy who wants to have sex with lots of different girls and is looking for a release? There are those hours of the day when, in the past, I may have used porn. At these times, sex acts stick in my head on a loop. It is like I am watching them without a computer being there. The extreme stuff often comes to mind and I feel awful all over again. My girlfriend recently revealed that she was into a few of the practices I used to want to hide my interest in. But it wasn’t enough. I am beginning to think that even if I could do the naughtiest things to the hottest girl in the world, it wouldn’t be enough.

If I went into treatment, would I be expected to suppress urges that I think are normal? Like the urge to have sex with my girlfriend? I know it is called Sex Addicts Anonymous for a reason, but would I still need to put my physical relationship with my girlfriend on hiatus and basically give it away to her that I am trying to deal with something? I care about her very much and don't want to diminish our relationship or the sex life that bolsters it.

Number Two: I mentioned I saw a therapist when I was younger. I went back to him when the problem flared up again, responded to his sessions, and was referred to his colleague. I did not feel too great after the one session I had with this guy. Frankly, I felt like I was being both judged and ignored. The previous therapist seemed far better but even if he had the time to see me (he doesn’t) I would have to ask my parents for the money. They are aware of my problem and have always been supportive, but I don’t feel able to deal with it if they are in the mix. I want this to be between me and people who I see when I want to. I am still considering going back to the new guy (it might be too hasty to dismiss him) but the expensive private treatment just doesn’t seem a viable option. I read about an alcoholic’s experience in AA and was struck by his enthusiasm and the level of availability of meetings. They are on at all times, every day, no excuse for not going to one – and it beats the once a week forty five minutes, “I’m sorry but I have to stop you there,” treatment that this psychoanalyst offers. Is there an equivalent anonymous for me? Are meetings as frequent?

At the same time, I don’t want to think of myself as an addict because I wonder whether I am in possession of a bad habit rather than a full blown, soul destroying addiction. I am not doing illegal things or spending every hour of the whole day in front of the computer or keeping twenty girls on the go. I wonder – do I fit in to the sex addict category? Also, and as you can probably guess from the length of this post, I feel better when I express myself at length. I don’t know if sharing in bitty chunks with others is going to help. I don’t want to waste anyone’s time.

Practicalities of seeing a group - if you think I should go to a meeting, where can I go? I am based in London. Is there a site where meets are listed?

My work is very high profile and when it comes down to it all I would love to follow my bosses and achieve a strong personal media presence. Will group treatment ruin my prospects?

I am so sorry for the length of this essay and appreciate the chance to vent to you all. Thank you for any and all thoughts.

Throw away email address: addictithink@hotmail.co.uk

Me, Porn and the Web

Anonymous — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 17:54:16 -0800

I am a guy who would like to stop watching porn (watch on the internet). I don't judge others who watch it but it bothers me that I do. I don't do it often but porn has in some way been in my life since high school and now that I am married and in my late 30s, I still drift over to sites. (Frequency, I would say is once every few weeks)...I need to use my computer so getting rid of it is not currently available as an option. I finally admitted it to my wife because I wanted to stop and to my surprise, she has loved me and wants to support me anyway. Any tricks on stopping this habit, or book/web site recommendations are appreciated. I figure dropping ice cubes down my shorts would be a start!

How Will the New 2257 Law Affect Art Nude Photographers?

jfrancis — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 03:49:49 -0800

I understand changes are coming to US CODE: Title 18-2257 - the record keeping requirements designed to stop child pornography. What effect, if any, will this have on people who are not in the pornography business? Specifically, what effect will this have on photographers who shoot and blog, say, erotically charged photos of clothed adults, or simple art nudes of adults? Will they be faced with onerous new record keeping requirements soon? Will the requirements apply retroactively to already published (blogged) work?

Sex Addiction

Anonymous — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 13:43:20 -0800

Does anyone know of a pornography or sex addiction group in the St. Louis area? Looking for pornography or sex addiction group. Can be self-help group, therapy group, private, public. Just looking for resources...

I Didn't Mean To Be There

Anonymous — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 05:39:13 -0800

Is it a crime under US law to merely visit a web site where there are images of child pornography? Following a link on Metafilter, I linked to another site. On this site were images of adult pornography and I scanned through a series of pictures. About halfway through the slideshow I began to see the subjects were getting younger and younger. I thought to myself this almost looks like child pornography. I went to the next image and sure enough, it was. I got out of there ASAP. Under US law did I commit a crime just by being there. Could law enforcement monitor these sites and arrest me.

Help us start a video pornography business

Anonymous — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 17:55:56 -0800

I was hoping you could provide some information to help my husband and I start a new porn site and possible by-mail DVD sales. Questions involve state laws (IL and surrounding area), model releases, and business viability. My husband and I have thought for a while about starting up a porn site. We looked at doing it a few years ago, an acquaintance of ours was making quite a bit of money doing a site. But some time has passed so we had a few questions:

1) Is porn still profitable on the internet? I know that any business can be profitable or not, but is porn still a solid way to make money online?

2) We live in Illinois. Are there any laws in Illinois, Iowa, Missouri, Indiana, or Kentucky that would make porn production illegal? I know that it's legal in Florida and California, but is paying models to have sex on camera legal in any/all of those states?

3) We want to be sure we stay completely legal. I know we'll need a model release for all individuals involved. Should we consult a lawyer regarding this? If so, our Google-fu is failing us, is there an online attorney who might meet these needs? We fear if we go to our normal lawyer he might object on moral obligations.

4) Any caveats that anyone knows from experience (either first or second hand)?

5) Any advice on how, in the massive sea that is online porn, one would get noticed? We've thought about advertising and affiliate programs, but wondered if there were any more novel ideas.

6) Other than state laws that say where DVDs of porn can and can't be shipped, are there any other worries I would need to have?

7) Is it true that requiring credit card payment is valid proof of age for people wanting to view the porn, or is another type of age validation required to ensure we are not showing pornography to those not of legal age?

If you need to reach me, I can be e-mailed at newToPorno@gmail.com

Thank you!

How did the obscenity/pornography laws change in the last 20 years?

Anonymous — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 20:54:59 -0800

Adult magazines and pay cable channels can now show more. Did the laws change, did society change, or both? I remember "reading" Hustler and Penthouse around 1990. Back then, magazines couldn't show any kind of penetration - and the editors said so. A few years later, I had the Playboy Channel, and they, too, couldn't show penetration.

Now, those same magazines show the complete sex act, including penetration, and even ejaculation. The Playboy Channel shows entire sex scenes except, strangely enough, ejaculation.

I assume we have the internet to thank for this. My question is, how did it happen? Not why, but how?

Did Congress change the laws of obscenity? Did the FCC change them? Were Playboy, Penthouse et al self-policing, and they simply decided to show more once they faced competition from the web?

I don't remember any sort of big news event such as a headline like "Hustler To Show Penetration For The First Time." As far as I can remember in those youthful days, the change came slowly -- first a woman could be shown penetrating herself, then the photos could discreetly show some penetration by a man, and then it was anything goes.

This interests me not just for prurient reasons but also because of the censorship implications. If the government can make something legal that easily, can it also make something illegal? And if it was legal all along, why did the industry move so slowly? Did porn on the web destroy all the barriers that Larry Flynt couldn't?

I understand this topic is provocative and the mods are watching. Let's try to keep this a legalistic discussion and not a debate for or against pornography.

Turgidity in Pornography

Greg Nog — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 13:44:27 -0800

In gay porn anal scenes, roughly what percentage of the time is the "bottom" flaccid versus fully erect?

Has the Internet changed how you have sex?

HotPatatta — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 22:20:09 -0800

How has sex changed for you since the Internet made porn so easily accessible? I grew up in the age of easy-to-obtain Internet porn, so I never got to experience what sex was like back in the pre-Internet days. For those of you who have been around longer, have you noticed a change in your or your partners' sexual behavior over the past ~10-15 years? An increased willingness or desire to do certain things, perhaps? Exaggerated moaning? Improved techniques? Unusual positions now more common? Have you not noticed a change at all?

I realize porn stars haven't invented anything new and that what is seen on screen has been practiced by many people for thousands of years, but I'm wondering if the ubiquity of porn has led to a general change in what is now considered to be standard bedroom behavior.

What questions should I ask the subjects of my documentary on the Philippines porn industry?

premiumpolar — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 02:23:37 -0800

I'm going to be filming a documentary in the Philippines about families supported by the pornography industry, and I'd like to hear any interesting questions you might have for the subjects. All the families there are very impoverished, and the subjects range in age from 15 to 28, and are both male and female. I'd especially like to hear non-typical questions that might lead to poignant answers, not just, "why don't you just get another job?" (Although, if you have an interesting take on that question, let's hear it).

What would you like to know about them? What questions do you have that you'd like answered in the film?

What are the social benefits of pornography?

vizsla — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 18:25:32 -0800

Does porn benefit society? Over the years we've read a lot about the ills of pornography but the world doesn't seem to be falling apart any faster than it was before the internet came along. What's the latest thinking on this? For example, does anyone know of any studies, stories or anecdotes where the use of pornography helped someone or solved some sort of societal problem? Does it help pacify or inspire potential rapists? Does it keep marriages together or break them apart? From personal experience, I remember when I first saw pornography it opened up a whole new world of experience and excitement for me. Nowadays most of it for me is just like pleasant oggling of the bikini-clad page three girl in newspapers in days gone by. What's going on?

sex in bondage porn? i'll be damned.

nadawi — Tue, 13 May 2008 03:38:48 -0800

What's a good resource for the history of laws governing BDSM pornography? [discussion, of course, potentially nsfw] Barring a website, what can you tell me?

I noticed in my, um, research recently that somewhere along the line it became legal in the USA to show actual sex while a girl was all tied up (god bless 'em).

This made me all sorts of curious about the whole history, and specifically that change in law. I've tried searching google, but as you can imagine trying to find search terms for scholarly interests on the topic gets a little difficult.

Would a site on breasts cause too much stress?

troybob — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 14:42:21 -0800

What kinds of basic concerns should I have about starting a tasteful porno-ish web site? I would like to start a web site that is a tasteful appreciation of female breasts. It would feature artwork and written appreciations and photographs of breasts (bare and otherwise) only, to include reader-/viewer-submitted content. But not trashy or tacky or disparaging or anything. PG, or maybe PG-13 kinda stuff.

It's just in the thinking phase at this point (I have a site name reserved and an overall theme that I like). But what kinds of problems should I anticipate, legal or otherwise, for having a site like this? Will I have a problem finding hosting? Should I try to locate a hosting service outside the US, or does that matter? (I am in the US.) Do I have to register as a corporation if I charge for membership or do any advertising down the line? Do I have to worry about age verification of the breasts being presented, or copyright violation if a set of renowned breasts are posted? If my domain name is registered successfully already, do I need to worry about it being rescinded if someone finds it offensive (it includes the word 'titty')?

If there's a general resource on such sites that I can consult, that would be cool as well. Otherwise, I'm just curious about whether the downsides are overly prohibitive. Thanks!

We have to talk about what happened last night at Kenneth's party

Steve_at_Linnwood — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 23:50:07 -0800

What exactly is ironic about listening to Schubert while viewing Canadian pornography? On Thursday's episode of 30 Rock, when Kenneth asked Jack Donaghy if he would attend his party Donaghy told him he wasn't because he was going to "go home and listen to some Schubert, and ironically, watch Canadian pornography."

Is this a throw-away line, or is there something to this?

Is it possible to make money anymore writing pornographic stories?

Anonymous — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 18:31:40 -0800

Is it possible to make money anymore writing erotic or fetish stories? Or has the rise of the internet — the amount of video available, the number of stories being written for free — killed that business off? If it is possible, how would one go about doing it?

Feminist porn lovers.

kingjoeshmoe — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 13:43:31 -0800

Pro-pornography writings by feminists? I'm looking for any books/articles/what-have-you written by feminists that support pornography. For purposes of this question, the feminists must also be female.

The more prominent the feminist, the more she's done for the movement, the better. Ideal, for example, would be a woman who marched and protested for women's suffrage in the early 1900's, has written several books on the topic of equal rights, etc. Less ideal but still great is a woman who has written extensively on feminist issues. An article written by a random woman in cosmo does not qualify. She must have some kind of bona fides as an academic or social leader.

The writing itself should do more than just say porn is good (or at least not bad). It should give reasons, and/or refute common feminist reasons (see, e.g., Catharine MacKinnon) for disapproving porn. The more analytic, the better. Thanks!

Wanted: Reliable porn blocking software for Mac OS 10.3.9

zombiebunny — Sun, 04 Mar 2007 10:22:21 -0800

Looking for reliable porn-blocking software for Mac OS 10.3. Help! Lucky me, my boyfriend's just admitted to an internet porn addiction. He's decided that the only way to avoid slipping up, while trying not to look at various porn sites is to put a filter on our Mac. I am having a really difficult time locating one via Google. I tried If2k, but when I've gone in to test, I kid you not, I can access just about every site out there, regardless of whether or not I specifically list the URL in the "bad URL" panel. Please spare me the porn isn't bad, he should be allowed to look at it....He's determined that it's a problem (and has been for the past 2 years...) that he can't tackle alone, so I'm just trying to help. Thanks for ANY advice that might help us out.

help me identify a scaly german porno

Mayor Curley — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 08:59:07 -0800

Please tell me the name of an awful German or Austrian porno from the late 80's or early 90's (Dubbed version). NSFW (duh!) I saw it in the mid-to-late 90's and it was laughably awful. It featured a main character named "Oscar (Oskar?) the Butler" It featured a number of stereotypically degrading sex acts (including fisting and urination) and was as erotic as former Attorney General John Ashcroft singing "Let the Eagle Soar."

What made it high comedy was the bored/embarassed sounding narrator describing the action in strongly German-flavored English. It gave the impression that his friend who worked for the company had said "Come on! You speak English and it will only take an hour! Please?".

Some quotes I remember (and they may not be verbatim, but they're not terribly embellished either). Remember, they're read with no emotion:

"This is Oscar the butler"

"Oscar is having a wery (sic) good idea. He's going to piss on her ass"

"That's right, Oscar! The bitch loves it."

note to employers of the future: But I was only seeing the movie to get directions on how to get away from the movie.

Shaving Ryan's Privates

dead_ — Fri, 13 Oct 2006 08:25:15 -0800

I'm looking for a list of adult film's that borrow part of their title from big name Hollywood movies. (Answers will probably be NSFW) You know the kind, the porno titles that are a play off of a Hollywood blockbuster. As many as you can give me.

Is a text sex story that involves kids considered child porn?

Anonymous — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 11:20:03 -0800

Are stories (text) about children engaging in adult-only activities (and I don't mean paying their taxes) considered child pornography? At risk of becoming an enabler, I stumbled onto quite a number of sites that are in plain view and unhidden, per se, that describe such events taking place, and apparently have been on the net for quite a considerable time. How can these sites be allowed to remain in existence -- foreign servers, perhaps?

I am trying to kick my internet porn habit, and need suggestions on how to resist my temptations.

ilikebike — Sat, 12 Aug 2006 02:46:00 -0800

I am trying to kick my internet porn habit, and need suggestions on how to resist my temptations. My significant other and I have decided it would be best for me to try and kick my online pornography habit. I was visiting these websites daily. It was affecting me at work, because I would be late for my shift because I was looking at porn, and I would stay up late and do things behind my girlfriend's back to hide it. For me, it's not the porn per se, but more of the rush of finding websites, getting backdoor passwords, scouring file sharing sites, etc. This has made my girlfriend very upset emotionally, and I don't think it's right for her to go through this anymore, so I'm trying to kick my habit (80gb already deleted).

I have decided to install a program on all the machines in my house that monitors and reports the internet usage, but does not do any filtering. This I believe allows me more freedom (I'm opposed to any blocking whatsoever) while still having accountabiity.

Now I'm not a religious man, and I'm not opposed to pornography in the least bit, but this is something that need to be removed from our relationship. I've had this "addiction" or habit for close to 14 years now.

It's been rough, I've lapsed 3 times in the past month, but we're sticking through it. I'm looking for any suggestions that anyone can give me to help us through this.

Thanks!

Web hosting and "illegal" activity

AmbroseChapel — Sat, 22 Jul 2006 22:09:11 -0800

Web hosting and "illegal" activity I'm looking at various hosting options -- going through some very useful threads with the webhosting tag.

Here's the thing though: the terms of service of dreamhost, textdrive,hostgator and verve all, in one way or another say I can't host "illegal" material.

I was thinking of hosting material on things that are entirely legal where I am, but may not be legal where the hosting company is -- they're all in the US, right? So, say I'm in Amsterdam and I want to create my-favourite-marijuana.com where people can post about smoking dope in dope cafés, or I'm somewhere gambling is legal and I want to create a gambling website, etc., are they going to regard it as "illegal" and refuse to host me? Or worse, decide it's illegal after the fact and cut me off?

Their TOSs tend to be so broad as to be nonsensical.

Verve won't host me if my content "promotes illegal drugs, violates export control laws, relates to illegal gambling" -- but illegal where? They also helpfully state their hosting plans can't be used either for "pornography" or "child pornography".

TextDrive says it won't host "any material in violation of any applicable law or regulation" or material "in violation of any local, state, federal or non-United States law or regulation". Really? Like, say, the prohibition on representational art of any kind under the Taliban?

Hostgator is actually quite detailed, though very offputting -- their TOS says I can only use their servers for "lawful purposes" and requires me to follow "The laws of the State of Florida, the State of Texas, and the United States of America". So, basically nothing the Bush brothers wouldn't like.

I'd be very interesting in your thoughts and experiences. Am I going to be forced to use some shady "adult" hosting service, not a mainstream one?

Getting x-rated photos printed.

Anonymous — Wed, 02 Nov 2005 17:06:18 -0800

Getting x-rated photos printed. I was in college about 8 years ago and during a vacation weekend with a former gf we took a ton of pictures. We never got them developed and just recently I found them again. We're no longer together, but I asked her and she has no problem with them being developed. They're just topless as far as I remember, but I live in the bible belt and a little weary of taking them to the local walmart. Are there any reputable online sites that will do the work? She was 19 at the time, but I don't want anyone in a uniform knocking on my door.

(I know 8 years is a long time, but I developed the rest and they came out fine)

The Date From Hell?

Secret Life of Gravy — Fri, 14 Oct 2005 09:52:45 -0800

What does it mean when a man shows an anal sex video on the first date? My husband's co-worker, Mary, is 39 and anxious to get married and have kids. She recently accepted an invitation from Tom to have dinner at his house. He was grilling outside and "for her pleasure" popped in an X-rated video that concentrated on oral sex. When Tom returned, he sat down with her and watched the tape. Whwn she finally got up enough nerve to complain about the tape, he unwrapped a brand new tape of the anal sex variety. She felt very uncomfortable but said nothing. The rest of the evening was anti-climactic, and they shook hands good night.

Mary is claiming that this wasn't a date and Tom is just her friend. My husband says this most definitely was a date and Mary should let Tom know she is not interested in him romantically before accepting any more invitations. I think she should not accept any more invitations, period, as Tom is exhibiting hostility towards her.

How would you interpret his actions?