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How can I admit that I have a high income without sounding like an ass?

I am a professional poker player and I have averaged $670 per hour over the past 11 years of poker. When people ask me what I do for a living, and I tell them that I am a professional poker player, they often are incredulous and say "you make enough to live off that?" How can I openly and honestly convey the truth is I have made millions and I make over $600 an hour? snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 2, 2014 - 70 answers

High stakes, and winning a new life in a new world.

What card game did my grandfather play on the voyage from Sicily to Ellis Island? Google is not giving me the detail I need. [more inside]
posted by thinkpiece on Feb 9, 2014 - 4 answers

Online poker in the US?

What are the best ways for a Texas Holdem enthusiast to play online poker in the U.S. these days? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 31, 2013 - 5 answers

If I could memorize anything, could I nearly guarantee success in Poker?

I recently listed to a This American Life episode about professional poker players, who learned how to accurately estimate pot odds in Texas Hold-Em based upon their hands and the revealed cards, rigidly bet/folded based upon those odds, and won a lot of money. Is there any reason I can't do the same if I knew how to memorize the calculations they use? If so, where would I start (what books/websites contain this info?) and why can't I just automate that process (or consult a table of calculations) and win a lot of money in online poker?
posted by sdis on Apr 25, 2013 - 10 answers

VEGAS, BABY!

Next month, I will be travelling to Las Vegas. For the very first time in my life. I have a whole bunch of Vegas-newbie questions. I’d like to ask you for your help. [more inside]
posted by jason's_planet on Feb 27, 2013 - 28 answers

Poker 101

How to kick butt at poker! [more inside]
posted by dinosaurprincess on Jan 1, 2013 - 14 answers

Poker practice online not for cash

Where can one play good online poker with real players (or a program w/*really* good AI with weaknesses and styles)? Not for cash - just for practice. Ipad app or website fine. *Not* just Texas Hold'em/7 card stud, but finishing off the HORSE class and beyond (Hi/Lo Omaha, Hi/Lo 7 card stud, Razz). Don't want scummy spyware or to have to give credit card info. [more inside]
posted by lalochezia on Jul 2, 2012 - 14 answers

The things I do for airline status

Help me gamble and eat during a six-hour Vegas layover. [more inside]
posted by willbaude on Dec 5, 2011 - 8 answers

Maximum number of outs on the river in holdem.

What is the maximum number of outs possible on the river in heads up Texas hold em? Assuming that out means a card which will take the player who is behind either level or ahead.
posted by therubettes on Oct 11, 2011 - 20 answers

Apps for a poker n00b?

Can anyone recommend an app for learning and playing poker on the iPhone or iPad? Not interested in gambling or playing competitively, and I have no prior poker experience. Quite happy to pay for an app, if it's decent.
posted by Ritchie on Sep 27, 2011 - 7 answers

Would you be happy with soup?

Would you serve this? I need a little mefihelp with food advice for an upcoming poker game. [more inside]
posted by Cosine on Sep 21, 2011 - 24 answers

Poker in public on Staten Island?

Trying to plan a small, low-key, co-ed bachelor party on Staten Island involving poker, but where? [more inside]
posted by heatvision on Sep 13, 2011 - 1 answer

How should I rank these alternative poker hands?

I'm trying to rank some non-proper poker hands within the conventional poker hand-ranking framework. I would like to rank them conventionally, i.e. on their probability of occurring in a straight, five-card deal. The non-proper hands are: (1) "Four-card straight" (four cards in a row); (2) "Four-card flush" (four cards of the same suit); (3) "Four-card straight flush" (four cards in a row of the same suit); (4) "Same-color flush" (all 5 red cards or all 5 black cards); (5) "Straight same-color flush" (a straight composed of all black cards or all red cards); (6) "Four-card straight same-color flush" (a four-card straight composed of all black cards or all red cards). My probability skills are "OK" (the odds for the four-card flush and same-color flush are straightforward), but some of them (particularly the straights) seem too tricky for me. [more inside]
posted by mrgrimm on May 13, 2011 - 9 answers

I'm probably fucked.

What is the best way for an US-based online poker player to obtain proof of their online bankrolls in light of the pending worldwide shutdown of FTP, Stars and AP? [more inside]
posted by Asherah on Apr 15, 2011 - 2 answers

Online Poker Illegal In Maryland

Is Online Poker Illegal In Maryland? [more inside]
posted by Spurious on Mar 21, 2011 - 7 answers

Help me design my poker chips.

Does anyone have a good idea for what I could put on my custom poker chips? [more inside]
posted by tr45vbyt on Mar 5, 2011 - 12 answers

Is there a poker forum for grownups?

Is there an active poker forum out there that isn't full of a.) maladjusted teenagers with gambling addictions or b.) sales pitches for overpriced coaching and training services or c.) a dinosaur from the 2000s poker bubble? [more inside]
posted by Yakuman on Jan 17, 2011 - 4 answers

When you get the ideas, you get the itinerary. Then when you get the itinerary, then you get the fun.

Women, alcohol, drugs, cash, gambling, and guns. And questions. WAY LONGER inside. [more inside]
posted by hal_c_on on Nov 17, 2010 - 37 answers

Help me get my game on! Or at least fake it. :)

Hooookay. So I've been asked to play in a charity poker tournament. I'm fierce at craps and was a pool shark in my past life so it appeals to me, but I've just never had a weekly poker game or anything... truth is I haven't played poker in years. [more inside]
posted by miss lynnster on Oct 18, 2010 - 16 answers

Online Poker

10 years late to the party filter. I want to play online poker for money (not that much to start out with). I'm confused, though, by what's legal and by which online sites actually offer the ability to gamble. I am in the United States. What's a good site that will allow me to play very small bets as I get started with online poker? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 14, 2010 - 10 answers

Formula for figuring poker winnings

I need help untangling a formula for tracking poker winnings. All this math is making my head hurt! Totally legal details within. [more inside]
posted by c:\awesome on Oct 7, 2010 - 8 answers

Why are there 169 starting hands in Hold 'em?

Can someone explain to me why there are 169 starting hands in poker? [more inside]
posted by tomtheblackbear on Aug 22, 2010 - 17 answers

Resources for playing in my first Hold'em tourney?

I'm playing in my first Texas Hold'em tournament next week. It's pretty low-key (charity fundraiser, $100 buy-in, $1,000 first prize, ~40 players). I've played in a monthly limit game for a few years, doing reasonably well. Any advice/websites/books that could help me with basic strategies for this type of tournament play?
posted by ericbop on Jun 3, 2010 - 15 answers

Poker add-ons?

I play Hold 'em on PokerStars, are there any extensions, add-ons, etc that I should be using? [more inside]
posted by cyphill on Mar 21, 2010 - 4 answers

Is Online Poker Fun?

What is it like to play online poker as a hobby? [more inside]
posted by Spurious on Mar 15, 2010 - 24 answers

I need some new poker one-liners

PokerFilter: I need some witty and/or lame one-liners to throw down throughout the course of a poker game. Examples within! [more inside]
posted by bjork24 on Jan 14, 2010 - 14 answers

Poker players addiction to the game

Are mostly of Professional Poker Players addicted and ready to gamble everything (including personal property) or a large percentage handle it as a business, a career? [more inside]
posted by 3dd on Sep 10, 2009 - 13 answers

Is my husband unemployable?

Is my husband unemployable? [more inside]
posted by Jacqueline on Sep 8, 2009 - 39 answers

I want to post my own online poker tournament. How do I do this?

I want to host my own online poker tournament with my friends. How do I do this? [more inside]
posted by mbottrell on Aug 3, 2009 - 4 answers

Can I play poker with real money on an iPhone 3g?

Can I play poker with real money on an iPhone 3g? [more inside]
posted by khites on Jun 25, 2009 - 5 answers

Where to find extra large cloth for poker table?

Poker table cloth fabric (velveteen or similar) that is larger than 60" wide? [more inside]
posted by Alec Loudenback on May 17, 2009 - 7 answers

Prepare me for real life poker.

How does real poker compare to online? [more inside]
posted by Thrillhouse on Apr 10, 2009 - 24 answers

Before I get arrested...

Is online poker illegal in South Korea? [more inside]
posted by RufusW on Feb 27, 2009 - 4 answers

Name of a YouTube video involving a dubbed poker game

Trek filter: trying to find a video on YouTube of a dubbed Star Trek scene where the characters are playing poker. Not having any luck. Does anyone know what this video is called?
posted by lazy robot on Nov 6, 2008 - 2 answers

Is it legal to host poker in Illinois?

Is it illegal to host poker games in Illinois if the house does not collect any profit? [more inside]
posted by thebwit on Oct 18, 2008 - 3 answers

Tax me on the River

Gambling and the IRS: I've been honing my poker skills and I think I'm ready to take my game to the next level: professionally. If I begin making gains at both casinos and online, what is my duty in terms of declarations and bookkeeping while filing my taxes?
posted by Christ, what an asshole on Aug 5, 2008 - 12 answers

Looking for an Online Generic Card Game Simulator.

I need an "Online Generic Card Game Simulator" program (my term). I don't think what I want exists, but I don't know how to verify this, or more importantly, how to go about making one for myself. [more inside]
posted by johnstein on Jul 28, 2008 - 11 answers

Places to play poker in Manhattan?

I'm looking for cool spaces (preferably bars) in Manhattan where they'd let you just sit and play poker with your own cards and chips -- just among friends, not against a casino. Would most bars not care? Any ideas? Thanks.
posted by Malad on May 23, 2008 - 11 answers

Make Small Money Sound Big

I need a really great, somewhat poker related prize (or a couple of prizes) that will cost less than $1200. I'm giving it away in early August (somewhat flexible on the date). [more inside]
posted by my homunculus is drowning on May 20, 2008 - 8 answers

How to make RSS feeds for new posts by a specific user on a vBulletin forum?

How do I set up an RSS feed for a vBulletin forum? [more inside]
posted by bdk3clash on Apr 18, 2008 - 1 answer

How does physics impact poker?

Does the theory of the multiverse in contemporary physics mean that the top card in a deck of cards isn't "set" until it is seen? (ideal answerers have a background in physics, but all answers appreciated.) [more inside]
posted by jimmydare on Apr 14, 2008 - 27 answers

Free poker?

Where can I find places to play Hold'em for free (or perhaps a cover charge) in the Clearwater, fl area. [more inside]
posted by blackout on Jan 1, 2008 - 4 answers

Do I have to show my cards?

In No Limit Texas Hold 'Em Poker, when a player goes "all in" and you "call" them (but you still have extra chips) do you have to show your cards?
posted by yankeh on Oct 30, 2007 - 23 answers

Neighbourhood Poker Tour: How do we record it?

Custom poker table, with in-table cams, facecams, dealercam. How to build it yourself? [more inside]
posted by lodev on Oct 26, 2007 - 10 answers

Where is the best play money poker online?

Where is the best "play money" poker online? [more inside]
posted by chrisalbon on Sep 10, 2007 - 13 answers

How do you play poker online without getting an unhealthy addiction?

How do you play poker online without getting an unhealthy addiction? [more inside]
posted by sjvilla79 on Jul 27, 2007 - 14 answers

Poker poker poker. It's poker craze!

Poker poker poker poker poker poker? It's poker craze! [more inside]
posted by dcrocha on Jun 18, 2007 - 19 answers

Townes Van Zandt's Mr. Gold and Mr. Mudd

Card players, I'd appreciate some help in dissecting a song about poker called Mr. Gold and Mr. Mud by Townes Van Zandt. [more inside]
posted by dios on Jun 15, 2007 - 21 answers

Poker in Shreveport?

Where's the best poker room in Shreveport / Bossier City, Louisiana? [more inside]
posted by ivarley on Mar 1, 2007 - 3 answers

How to run an online poker night?

I'm looking for a way to have an online poker night with friends who don't live near me. [more inside]
posted by kamelhoecker on Jan 11, 2007 - 4 answers

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