Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with phobias

How can I be more sane?

nimufu — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 16:25:19 -0800

Every few months (or less), I develop some sort of new phobia. Some of them are absolutely ridiculous (which I recognize), but it is very difficult for me to overcome these fears. What can I do? I apologize in advance, as I am sure this is going to end up very long.

To give a little bit of background, my family has a history of mental instability. No one has ever been committed, but both sides of my family suffer from anxiety and depression and OCD (or OCPD).

About two years ago, I was diagnosed with a benign, but disabling, neurological disease. There is no cure, and treatments are typically hit-or-miss. It took about a year until I finally started to feel better. I lost about 1/4th of my body weight because I was too sick to eat. I felt so ill and was in so much pain that daily, I either felt (a) I was dying or (b) that I wanted to die. Suffice it to say, it took a big toll on me mentally, and when I think of how bad it was, I'm amazed I even got through it.

Around the time that the symptoms of my illness began to appear, I started to have terrible anxiety attacks. I've always been an anxious person, but I had never had a panic attack, to my knowledge, until that point. The day after I had my first panic attack, I started to develop really weird phobias. I also started to develop what I guess to be OCD.

At first, I was convinced that all of my food was poisoned. I would check all of my food and my drinks to make sure they were thoroughly sealed, and even if they were, I would think maybe someone tampered with it while in processing. Eventually I got over that, because I had to eat (or die), but I still check all of my food before I eat it.

Following that I heard a story on the news about a boy dying from amoebas. Cue amoeba phobia. Showers and baths became terrifying for me. If I got water up my nose, for several days I would be worried. Again I got over that, because I shower every day and I'm still alive.

Now I'm afraid I'm going to become disfigured or that I am, in some way, just going to die in some random terrible accident. This phobia has worsened my compulsions. I don't know if it's OCD because I don't have any "rituals", per se, but whenever I do something, or think of doing something, I'm afraid of the outcome. Like I'll think, "I can't get out of bed yet; if I get out of bed now I'll be disfigured/something bad will happen." Or if I go to get myself a snack, and there are multiple choices, I feel like if I pick the wrong one, I'll be disfigured or something bad will happen, leading me to get really frustrated and skip eating the snack at all. If I get in an argument with someone, regardless of the situation, I'm afraid I'll be "punished" by some unknown force for being a bad person. Just about every action I do, or am about to do, I think to myself, "If I do this (or don't do this), something bad will happen." It pretty much gets in the way of living.

Part of the fear of disfigurement is due to the fact that I am 24 and have never been in a relationship (I was physically/verbally abused as a child and my mother/step-father had a violent relationship when I was growing up, so it has taught me to just pretty much be terrified of ever dating). I know if I could address that issue, my fears would probably lessen, but I'm even afraid to go out sometimes or sign up for a dating site online because I'm afraid maybe I'll be disfigured by doing it. Also, I'M A TOTAL MENTAL CASE IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED and I'd rather not put anyone through that.

There is no one I can talk to about this; I'm not going to dump these problems on my friends, and my family is pretty unsupportive (when I told my mom about my fear of disfigurement, she just laughed and walked away). In fact my family is pretty much awful sometimes and they just add to my stress.

I know I need to see a therapist, but I'm in a really bad financial situation due to expensive medical bills and having to figure out how to bring income in by working for myself (my health is unreliable so I can't hold down a job). So while I am saving up to see someone, it's going to be awhile before I can afford regular sessions.

What I'd like to know is what self-help resources are out there that I can use to my benefit until I can see a therapist? What self-help booklets, workbooks, videos, et cetera, do you recommend? If anyone has had any problems similar to mine, what helped you to overcome your phobias/anxiety/psychological problems?

(P.S. I have tried a number of anti-anxiety drugs and I have had bad side effects with all of them, some even making me more anxious. I'd really just not go down that road again.

Also, my mental problems are not due to my neurological disease. Anxiety is one of the symptoms listed, but it's usually a side effect of HAVING the condition; the disease itself does not cause it.)

Treatment for camera phobia

mjao — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 16:29:28 -0800

Medication for camera phobia? I chickened out. I was just at the doctor but couldn't bring myself to ask because this problem just sounds so stupid. I am scared of having my photo taken.

I've had this problem since I was little. I don't know why; I've just always frozen up whenever a camera's near. I've worked through this in therapy and done CBT and I am a lot better, e.g., I'm okay in social situations now and don't run away whenever someone starts taking photos. It is not a pleasant experience by any means but I accept that I don't have to like it - I just have to do it.
On occasion I will feel the old panic coming back but for the most part I can laugh at myself and my terrible photos.

Last week though, we had school photos (I work part time at a school). I did everything right... I put myself in a good mood.. I had a funny memory in my head to draw on... I had a relaxing morning, etc etc. But when I got into the room, instant panic. It's just this intense physiological reaction, and I find it hard to breathe, I trieed to smile but it's impossible somehow, as though my face is paralysed? The photographer and his team actually laughed at my attempts. I got very flustered and it was so humiliating because my colleagues were there.

I hate it when people find out I don't like photos, because all the usual questions start: Why? But you're do cute, I bet you'd take nice photos. Can't you just smile? What's the big deal?

It's easier when no one knows as it gives me the opportunity to pretend I'm normal when a camera comes around. But once people know I freak out, they expect it of me and watch me (or at least I feel like they do) and it becomes even worse for me the next time.

I got do anxious after school photos last week that it affected my whole day at work and I STILL feel somewhat "hungover" from the anxiety. I couldn't help but think "emergency Valium would have prevented this".
Doctors prescribe 2-3 valium for people with a fear of flying. Would a doctor prescribe me a couple of Valium for my phobia? Given that it's a pretty rare event, couple times per year max, I can't see why not. But I chickened out at the doctor. I feel so stupid and alone. Does anyone else suffer from this? Help :(

PS I'm typing this on my iPhone so sorry if there are weird typos.

"I can't abide them even now and then"

Anonymous — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 10:28:09 -0800

Strategies for dealing with a fear of men, please. I have an irrational fear of men and successfully avoid them most of the time. (I'm female, if it needs saying.) My new manager is male and I think I am going to find it hard to work with him - hard to talk to him coherently and hard to meet with him on my own. Has anyone any suggestions about how to deal with this? I haven't been able to find anything via Google.

I realise people will immediately say "therapy" but I'm looking for more of a short-term solution as I have to work with this person. I've thought about treating it as a phobia but find it hard to see how I'd do the classic desensitization thing in this situation.

Apologies if this prejudice hurts anyone's feelings - I do realise it's irrational and stupid.

I have had it with these motherf'ing snakes on my motherf'ing brain!

Madamina — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 19:27:35 -0800

I have a longstanding and semi-irrational snake phobia. As part of my ongoing quest to do new things and get over my damn self, I think it might be high time to deal with that. Just plain old trying to touch one would probably be enough for now, but... ew and eek. Any suggestions?

Static electricity and thunderstorm-phobic dogs

freshwater_pr0n — Sun, 26 Mar 2006 23:23:31 -0800

I work with dogs who suffer from severe thunderstorm phobia. It's a difficult problem to manage because there are so many stimuli involved - the noise, the lightning itself, the smell of ozone, etc. These dogs seem to be able to sense atmospheric electrical charges that occur during thunderstorms - they feel the static in the air. Many of them head to the bathtub. I assume that the grounding plumbing pipes provide discharges the static. I would like to build something that would help dogs who are fearful of the electrical phenomena that occur during thunderstorms, but I lack the physics background to even articulate clearly what I'm looking for. Ideas, anyone? Is there an easy, safe way to avoid static buildup in a charged environment?

How do I get over driving fears?

evil holiday magic — Tue, 25 Oct 2005 03:06:56 -0800

I live in L.A. I'm terrified of, and suck at, driving; can I improve? I had two bad accidents (no injuries, thankfully) early after I started driving, and since then I've only been able to learn a few routes by rote. I'm afraid to explore, or even take the freeway, for fear that I'll screw up and get in a wreck.

I drove alright when I was accompanied by an instructor; but on my own, and once I had to start thinking of navigation at the same time, I would start to feel overwhelmed, and make bone-headed errors (at intersections, changing lanes, panic U's, etc.) that would really rattle my confidence.

34 y.o. freak who can't (yet) drive-- that's me!

Shoeburyness — Sat, 09 Jul 2005 02:38:36 -0800

PhobiaFilter: I have had a driving phobia for quite a while. What are some good resources to help me conquer it? My husband thinks that my major problems were bad depth perception, and psychological trauma from my father's driving lessons as a teenager. (My father is not only terribly impatient and a very unsafe driver, but hw was convinced I was not never going to be able to drive because my mother and my grandmother couldn't, but also going to destroy his clutch.) I took the test as a teenager and flunked, then had surgery the next week, and when I recovered from the surgery I went to college, where even if I had had a car, the places I wanted to go to were closer than the parking lot anyway.) In the intervening years, I never could afford both a car and insurance at the same time, so I never really had an opportunity to learn.

So, now I'm 34. We have one car, which my husband has always needed to get to work, while I'm a stay-at-home mom. My husband's office is moving to the south side of Denver from downtown. We live in the NE metro area. Moving isn't really an option right now, and with the cost of gas so high, we determined that it will be much cheaper for him to commute by public transport. (Bus for now, in about a year a new light rail line will open that will span about half the trip.) So, in a few months the car will be at home with me during the day, presenting me with a good reason to get my license. The depth perception problem was easy enough to solve by wearing glasses. My husband is an infinitely more patient driving teacher than my father was. I got my learner's permit and drove today for the first time in 16-17 years, although just in a parking lot.

I've looked for information online, but every page I find seems to trying to sell me something. Some of them seem like they might work, some of them seem pretty dubious, but I don't have the money for this kind of thing anyway. What free help can I get with this? Things that I can access on-line or borrow from the library are preferred, but I'm open to anything that will work.

Fear of cranes?

goatdog — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 12:08:46 -0800

What would the irrational fear of construction cranes be called? I'm looking for a word in the form [Greek or Latin root]phobia. I've checked a few lists of phobias, but it doesn't show up. Any suggestions/neologisms?

How to get over food phobias?

gyc — Fri, 25 Feb 2005 00:39:53 -0800

How did you manage to get over your food phobias? Besides the mozarella cheese on pizzas, I really can't stand cheese. What turns me off are the (to me) unpleasant smells and the texture. I also don't particularly enjoy milk, cream, and other dairy products but at least I can tolerate them. I know I'm missing a whole world of culinary delights by my inability to enjoy cheese and other dairy products. How did you get past your food phobias and what strategies did you employ? Do you have any tips on how I can start to enjoy cheese?

Any relaxation tips for dentalphobes going to the dentist?

mathowie — Thu, 09 Dec 2004 10:55:59 -0800

Any relaxation tips for dentalphobes going to the dentist? I've tried them all, and I'm still the most tense, problematic, patience-testing patient at my dentist's office. I hate to be like this to dentists and I hate to scare myself out of revisits. So how do I overcome my fear and relax?

How can I overcome my aversion to using telephones?

Anonymous — Tue, 07 Dec 2004 10:07:43 -0800

I have an irrational aversion to using the telephone, even in the most innocuous and impersonal of situations (like calling to find out if some place is open, if a store sells a certain thing, if a musical venue is selling tickets to a show in advance, etc). I wouldn't go so far as to call it a "fear", though I do get somewhat nervous when forced to use the phone in such circumstances, which makes it inconvenient and somewhat unpleasant for me when I have to use the phone for whatever reason. So how can I overcome my phone aversion?

Fear of Spiders

normy — Mon, 15 Nov 2004 11:31:31 -0800

PhobiaFilter: I'm an arachnophobic. How does one conquer an irrational fear? [more] As long as I can remember, I've hated and feared spiders and I don't know why. Even other creepy crawly things don't bother me at all. I've slept with scorpions in my tent and in cockroach infested huts - not a flinch. I've tried to identify what it is about spiders in particular that might cause this reaction, with no success. Hairiness? Nothing else hairy is a problem. Lots of legs? Why wouldn't I be afraid of caterpillars, then? Webs? Actually, that part doesn't bother me, either. Biting and poison? But I have no fear of bees, wasps, mosquitoes or other bitey stingy things. I've tried forcing myself to go to websites and look at books with lots of close-up pictures of spiders, thinking that familiarization might work. Nope, just ended up feeling ill and having bad dreams.

This isn't ruining my life or anything, but I'd like to get past it. There's something psychological going on that it's obvious I don't understand. How does someone get over an irrational fear? Is it even possible? Rationality doesn't seem to work.

Fear of Flying

msacheson — Mon, 12 Jul 2004 23:51:57 -0800

Has anyone here conquered a fear of flying (or knows someone who has)? How'd you do it? (more inside) A friend of mine is terrified everytime she flies. Especially shortly after takeoff when the plane starts to throttle back and level off sharply (she's sure something's wrong). I recognize the fear is rational/common/okay, but it would be easier for her to travel without the fear.

A google search turned up a collection of classes, therapy, books, etc., but I hope some personal experiences and anecdotes can give us some direction and ideas. Thanks.