I used to be very shy. Through years of pushing myself (I'm 33 now), I've become pretty amazingly functional. But I find myself in an unexpected spot. While I very much want to be around people and I
can now handle it without freezing up, my experience of actually being around people is one of gritted teeth and willpower. There's very little joy in it. In theory, I'd like nothing more than a bushel of friends hanging out in my kitchen on a Sunday night. In practice, I push myself into social situations like dunking my arm in freezing water, pulling it out with a huge sigh of relief as soon as I let myself. That's not a recipe for forging new friendships, which I know take time and certain amount of vulnerability. What can I do to take myself to the next level -- from functional to genuinely friendly? Do people ever make it to the next level? On the phobia scale, it's not enough for me to be able to let a spider crawl on my arm without having a panic attack, I need to be able to lay down in a cave full of spiders and love it. (I've been in therapy for a year, but aside from that, I'd like to hear from you all.)
posted by anonymous
on Jun 7, 2012 -
21 answers
I want to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time, but I have an extreme phobic reaction to both genitalia and vaginal penetration. How can I possibly overcome this?
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posted by anonymous
on Dec 3, 2011 -
44 answers
Help me become ok with conflict. I avoid conflict. Not just overt, head-butting conflict, but also minor disagreements, disapproving looks, divergent preferences... all the way down to the friction generated by the give and take of an interesting conversation. Anything short of complete harmony, and I'm looking for a way out. Sometimes this means avoiding the person or situation. Sometimes this means just shutting up and smiling. Sometimes it means not developing an opinion of my own until I know what other people think first. My absolute fear of conflict is a drag. It makes me and my life pretty bland and I want to beat it. Tell me how to beat it.
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posted by anonymous
on Sep 16, 2011 -
16 answers
I have a serious problem with being seen to be intellectually 'wrong'. I need ways to get over it
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posted by anonymous
on Jul 24, 2011 -
26 answers
I have a near-pathological fear of talking to strangers on the phone. My expanded job duties will soon include calling clients. How do I get past this fear?
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posted by anonymous
on Dec 17, 2009 -
27 answers
I'm scared of going to the dentist. How do I find one that will understand and how do I prepare myself for going to my first appointment in years?
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posted by anonymous
on Oct 16, 2009 -
22 answers
What do I do about a persistent phobia and why is it getting worse? Reading
this question (how scary is blood) I had an instant reaction of starting to hyperventilate a bit, though I got it under control quickly (also stopped reading). As I get older and the more I'm aware of it, this reaction gets stronger. Explanation involves a friend who was a cutter so be aware if this is a trigger for you.
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posted by anonymous
on Jul 11, 2009 -
4 answers
Phobias are treated by exposure or immersion. How, then, is one supposed to deal with a phobia of petty authority?
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 8, 2009 -
18 answers
A potential romantic partner has a very specific phobia. As luck would have it, it happens to be pretty much the exact thing that is my very private fetish. I have never shared it with anyone and don't plan to share it with anyone. Are we doomed, or could we somehow make this work to our advantage?
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posted by anonymous
on Aug 16, 2008 -
31 answers
Embarrassing phobia. I need to drive myself 10 or so hours in a couple of weeks, and I am very afraid that I will find myself in a traditionally panicky situation.
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posted by anonymous
on Jul 20, 2006 -
15 answers
