Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with phimosis

Help me help his penis (and my sex life)

Anonymous — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 16:40:20 -0800

How can I tactfully tell my boyfriend that I think he has phimosis, which I feel is the main cause of his erection problems? My awesome sexy loving boyfriend takes a long time to get an erection, and consistently loses it after around 10 minutes of sex. It's totally frustrating for both of us. He's not had much previous sexual experience and is understandably embarrassed about the situation. His foreskin is extremely tight and when I tried bringing this up as a potential cause, he didn't seem to think it was an issue. His verdict is that he's nervous, and after one too many failed attempts I totally understand why the next time he's more anxious in case it happens again, creating a vicious cycle. There's definitely a psychological element there, but I still feel the foreskin is partly to blame. After a bit of digging around, I made a pretty confident internet-diagnosis of phimosis (NSFW). Really, that wikipedia picture is an exact replica of his penis. However, I can find very little information linking phimosis and erectile dysfunction. In theory it makes total sense - if the head remains covered by the foreskin, surely things are less sensitive down there? And although he says there's no pain during sex, I can't imagine it's very comfortable. It feels like he's burying his head in the sand for fear that there's something 'wrong' with him - he's quite defensive when I attempt to bring it up, so I'm worried that saying something like 'hey honey, I looked on Wikipedia and I think there's actually something physically wrong with your penis' will knock his confidence even more and add additional anxiety/psychological issues into the mix which will only make things worse.

I've read about the various treatments for phimosis and it sounds simple enough to treat, so that's not really the issue here. So my questions:

Can anyone with phimosis comment on erection problems?
Anyone have any experience or words of wisdom on the best way to approach this tactfully with him?
How can I convince him that this isn't a big deal, there's nothing fundamentally wrong with him, and get him down the doc's for a chat?
Any other advice or comments welcome.

Thanks in advance, throwaway email is willywoes@googlemail.com

Could the way in which my boyfriend masturbates render him impotent?

Anonymous — Mon, 19 May 2008 11:34:40 -0800

Could the way in which my boyfriend masturbates render him impotent? Super-sexy questions inside, most definitely nsfw. So this guy I'm seeing (he's in his early twenties) masturbates most unusually. He doesnt use his hands at all! He lays on his stomach, with his penis usually semi-erect. He then transfers his weight directly onto his penis, and kinda wriggles around, smooshing his dick in the process. About 30 seconds of this and he comes.

He is uncut, fwiw, and (he thinks) he has a (mild?) case of phimosis. He keeps his head covered most of the day and it is hard to uncover (or 'peel it') if he is totally hard unless a lot of saliva is used. (I haven't ever seen this, so he tells me.)

Now here is the thing: he never gets erect around me. Its not that he never ever gets erect, since he wakes up with morning wood (sometimes when he sleeps over in my bed) and wet dreams and regular erections at other times of the day. He watches porn and that makes him hard too.

But not with me! Why is this? He isn't anxious to perform around me, I have told him that I will be patient and help him with this. He has slept over many times, we have made out, I have given him some oral, he gets a little hard - but not all the way there.

He has never had penetrative sex with anyone, fwiw. He never gets hard.

Now why would this be? Should he stop masturbating in this unusual fashion? He says its the only way he has known how to choke the chicken since he was little, and that he has tried the jerk-off-with-hand technique and it does not work for him.

Incidentally he cannot come with his technique if he is rock-hard-erect, he must be semi-flaccid otherwise the smooshing thing doesnt work and hurts.

Is there a name for this technique or something similar? Anyone we can see? Help.

After effects of circumcision in a 11 month old baby?

anastasiav — Thu, 17 May 2007 10:26:25 -0800

My 11 month old son needs to be circumcised soon due to extreme phimosis which has led to repeated urinary tract infections. (See this question for some background, actually.) Are there other Mefi parents who have had their older infants/children circumcised? Our urologist seems to think that he'll only be in discomfort for a day or two, and that the aftercare will be fairly minimal, but I'm not sure I believe him. Please lets not debate circumcision, ok? We chose not to have him circumcised at birth, but repeated serious UTIs are a whole other kettle of fish. Thanks! Just so you know -- we've tried the creme and it hasn't worked. We've had him on preventative antibiotics for over four months to stave off the UTIs, and continuing that can't be good in the long term. Its not unusual for his foreskin to balloon to the size of a golf ball when he urinates (which is clearly uncomfortable and he complains until we do something about it), and gentle pressure is needed to release the urine. This is a procedure that needs to be done, but I a bit concerned that the medical folks are underplaying the aftercare.

Also, he'll be undergoing general anesthesia for the procedure.

phimosis treatment options (besides chopping pieces off!)

Anonymous — Sun, 06 May 2007 07:09:02 -0800

I'd like to know a bit more about treatments of phimosis before I talk to my doctor about it. Given that circumcision is totally out of the question, how well do the various treatment options work? I'm just a tad worried that the best treatment option might not be the one my doctor pushes (not that I'm the type to argue with doctors). I'd love to hear personal or anecdotal experience relating to how well certain procedures worked and how comfortable or uncomfortable they were. Email throw_away_address@yahoo.com if you don't want to comment here. I'm in San Diego by the way, and my insurance is for Kaiser. Thanks!