Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with personality

How not to turn away others just for being myself?

Anonymous — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 09:06:27 -0800

How to deal with coming into my own without alienating those I love? I've been depressed for many years and only now am coming to terms with it, planning on seeking therapy in the coming year, and trying to express my own personality, in small doses at first, with others. However, some people, most notably my family, seem to be taking my newly expressed personality badly. I don't consider myself a a particularly bad person, but even showing that I'm anything other than perfectly content seems to cause conflict.

I've always been the good son. The unassuming obedient child of the family that did what was expected of me and my family loves this happy perfect persona I've kept up for many years. But it's just not me. My whole life I've felt trapped into being this person and am trying to slowly bring my real personality out into the open among those I trust. But I've found that as I start to open up to more of my real self to others, the people that know "me" seem further away than ever. How do I become more of than the false idea of myself I used to project without driving others away? And how do I deal with a family that knows me only for what I've represented myself as, but not as a person with any real human emotions?

Seeking a political chart of media personalities.

jcdill — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 18:07:24 -0800

I'm looking for a visual reference that shows where various media personalities political views are relative to each other. Something like the political compass chart for politicians, such as seen here: http://www.politicalcompass.org/uselection2008

Online career change exercises wanted

reenum — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 12:22:57 -0800

Are there any websites or online resources for people considering a career change? I've been thinking of changing careers for a while, and after some recent events at the office, it's time to get up and start figuring some things out.

I'm going to get "What Color Is Your Parachute" and a few other recommended texts from other threads, but I'm wondering if there are any websites or other online resources (preferably free), that have exercises and other things I can use to try and evaluate what it is I truly want to do.

I have a lot of free time at work. For obvious reasons, I don't want to show up here with career change books.

Thanks!

TeachingFilter

bad grammar — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 06:25:07 -0800

Is it normal or is it the symptom of a serious cognitive / psychological disorder that I don't like teaching? I have never had a diagnosis, and I'm an adult now, but I think I may have Asperger Syndrome. I am highly introverted, I love research, I am comfortable with a high level of detail, and I don't really care what other people think. I don't perceive social cues well, and when I start doing anything that takes a high level of focus, the rest of the world goes away.

This makes me terrible as a teacher. I don't perceive my students' social cues until they become blatant, hence I'm not sure when I am losing them. I do not get the reward that good teachers get from the back-and-forth with their students. I furthermore am alienated and get angry when students goof off or are disrespectful.

I have learned not to spam other people with an Asperger level of detail (think horror vacui; I used to read the dictionary for fun). But I don't instinctively empathize with what other people consider a normal (low) level of detail for instruction. It seems "dumb" to me. I could follow the cookbook (rely on other teachers' research and worksheets) but I would be bored with it. There's no there, there.

I bailed out of of one career (academic) because I couldn't teach. I now am looking for a librarian position that won't involve user instruction or too much work with the public. I don't mind IT, research, or day-to-day administration.

My personality needs a review! It's getting out of control! Help please!

Vandal — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 21:18:03 -0800

I'm scared of what my personality is coming to be. I recently broke up with my wife that I love but had no passion (kissing) with (2.5 yrs). I feel like I've controlled her a lot, do not want her to express a lot of her own self because I am very meticulous and strategic about my words, how I talk, how I present myself, etc. I think that's the same thing that happened with my ex girlfriend of two years. They love me for who I am, I'm a fun loving guy, good looking, good personality, morals, understanding, extremely caring, etc, but I'm wayyy too much of a presence and seemingly controlling to my loved ones. My dad has been away from home for about 20 years seeing his kids and wife once or twice a year. He recently retired and is back with mom and my siblings (I'm away from them). My mom says he has been trying to take over on how the house is being run and is controlling her ways and words, and how she interacts with others, etc .. in turn driving my mom wild.

I'm an extrovert when I have to be, and I usually don't go out partying etc even though I'm in my late twenties, and very much involved with what I do. My mom was saying since my dad has been back, he hasn't gotten the want to step out of the house and go places, etc.

This is kind of scary as it looks like I'm turning into my dad and I'm seeing through my mom how bad it could get. I don't know what else I should say.. I am seriously getting scared that I will turn into something that I don't want to turn into. I need help and I don't know what to do to turn myself around.. but I think if I wait any longer, my personality would get hard coded and could never be changed, like my dad.

I also have this "I am right", and "Listen to me", attitude that my wife didn't like.

Do you know what I'm talking about? If yes, please help!

What makes humans tick?

OctopusRex — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 01:40:40 -0800

Suppose someone has trouble "reading" people in a (mostly) professional context. What can he or she study to get better at this? I've heard that psychiatrists are trained to "peg" someone within a few minutes of meeting them. Obviously they have tons of experience with people, and obviously they are helped by the way patients express their problems.

However I'm sure there's literature out there that can help to assess people's personality, to make informed guesses about "where they're coming from", "what makes them tick" and that's also accessible to non-psychiatrists. Could you point the way? I'm not looking for self help books or online Meyers-Briggs tests, I'm looking for practical but scientific work on personality.

If you are a trained psychologist or psychiatrist, please explain what are the first things that you try to test or assess when meeting new people?

Are we born mean or does it just happen?

Tullyogallaghan — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 18:19:49 -0800

Is there a psychological classification for a person that is just plain "mean?" My octogenarian relative is just the nastiest person I ever met. I've known her for 30 years and she has never paid me a compliment or said a nice thing to me yet I've always tried to be nice to her. When she worked she was known to report fellow workers she didn't approve of to get them fired.

When her mother was on her deathbed she refused to look at her and wanted to talk about the latest movies, etc. When the mom (90+) lived in a nursing home she would make her cry by telling her she was "stupid" and "senile." This person I'm writing about is very intelligent, was a career woman and highly independent.

My husband says she has been a nasty person since the day he met her - like 50 years ago. Any ideas? Is she a plain old narcissist or does it go deeper? Background: she is pretty well penniless, worked as a secretary for many years, never married and has always lived alone until recently when she had a health reversal and 'had to go into a retirement hotel (which she hates and for which she blames us.) I once saw a documentary by Dr Barry Brazlelton (famous pediatrician) who said he couid go up and down the rows of newborns in a hospital and pick out the type of lives the babies would have by their demeaner - pouty, happy, sourpuss, whiny, placid, etc. Can this be true - our personalities are cast when we are just babies?

What is charisma?

decoherence — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 07:46:50 -0800

What are the qualities of the most charismatic or magnetic person you know? I'm interested in charisma. By this, I don't necessarily mean the attention-commanding, showy, "life of the party" sort, who always has a story or joke to tell. But rather, people who are genuinely, effortlessly likeable or magnetic, who both men and women seek to be around, and whose presence always enhances any occasion.

A good friend of mine fits the above description. He's instantly likeable, and while he's often not the center of attention in a group, his presence is always felt, and people are always seeking to have him around. But he has no single, standout quality that obviously makes him this way. He's not a great storyteller, and he isn't particularly funny. And while he's exceedingly bright, he doesn't often let this show in conversation, except in subtle and very natural ways. As best I can tell, the things that make him so charismatic are 1). He's very good-looking, in an all-American, non-threatening way; 2). He projects utter self-assuredness and confidence, in a weird way that somehow manages to straddle the line between modesty and arrogance; and 3). He's nice to people he meets and unfailingly polite, while often employing flattery in fairly subtle ways. I think the combination of someone who so obviously has it "together," but who also comes across as a good person who takes an interest in everyone he encounters, is what draws people to him.

Anyway, I'd be interested in hearing what the qualities are that make the most charismatic person you know the way they are. I'd also like to know whether you've ever tried to emulate these yourself, and what kinds of success you've had. Is charisma something that can be "improved" upon?

Walking on eggshells

Anonymous — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 16:46:20 -0800

Walking on eggshells? How to deal as an adult with a parent who has borderline personality disorder. I don't know if it is full blown BPD- but she at least exhibits some of the classic borderline personality. My mother is a wonderful person in many regards, but at times her verbal and emotional abuse becomes unbearable. Then she blames me or even my S/O for not taking her seriously when we ignore her. If I don't ignore her, and express my anger or opinion, her verbal abuse often escalates; name calling, devaluing, etc. A day or a week later, she is totally fine and acts like nothing happens; or she sometimes just forgets. Strangely, I have a great relationship with my father. They are still married, but her behavior, is totally bewildering and I literally feel like I have to put my foot down. From what I read on BPD though, boundary setting is much more difficult with BPD. Anyway, whether or not it is BPD, bipolar, or just really strange behavior (meaning= she acts like a 2 year old, she feels abandoned and engulfed all at the same time and you have to just sit there while she throws a tantrum about her "feelings"). I have attempted to set boundaries, and have recently blocked her emails completely because I'm sick of the BS that is in them, but since I can't change her, what should I do?

I'm basically sick of it, even though I love her, and wish to have a relationship with her. And my father. I'm also pissed off at my dad for rationalizing her behavior as "quirky" or "intense" for so many years. It's ABUSIVE! Ah! Anyone else had a loved one who has BPD? anything work to save yourself beside total cut off?

Thanks.

Success stories from or about people in a relationship with someone who appears to struggle with loneliness, anxiety and introversion?

ninotchka — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 18:55:44 -0800

I'm looking for some success stories from or about people in a relationship with someone who appears to struggle with loneliness, anxiety and introversion. Can it be done? The intro: I've been in a relationship for some time with a man whom I believe I love, and who I believe loves me. However, I’m about to set off on something of a long trip (nine months), and am concerned that this may be a make-it-or-break-it-point (prior separations haven’t gone so well).

The pros of our relationship: He’s brilliant and funny. When we have good banter, it glows; and I feel that we have each other’s confidence. He is fair-minded and overwhelmingly just: I’ve often been as delighted by his innate sense of what’s right as I have by his wit and wisdom. He’s handsome, he’s savvy, he’s ferociously disciplined. He’s a good man.

The rough patches: Of course, there’s the usual stress of any relationship – but what I refer to here is something more – something different. He rarely touches me (unless I reach out to him first), and appears anxious a great deal of the time. I take on faith that he’s attracted to me, but…it’s mostly on faith at this point. Generally (and in past relationships) I feel fairly good about my appearance and attractiveness - but lately, that seems to crumble with him. He seems delighted, really thrilled when I touch him or reach out to him – but increasingly, it feels one-sided, and I feel more and more distant as a result. I often resent the “expectation” that I should be the one to reach out – resentment that is neither warranted nor helpful. You can see, here, the makings of an unfortunate cycle.

Calling Grandma: He sometimes shows real trouble with a few kinds of basic “human interactions.” Speaking about everyday topics is fine for him, but speaking about anything close to his heart can render him silence for four to five minutes at a time as he clearly struggles to have something to say (usually this will end in “I don’t know.”) Making a routine phone call to a family member, for example - where there’s no reason to expect that anything bad will come of it - can bring him to tears. On the whole, it seems like the “tap” is closed most of the time, and occasionally, when it opens, it is a torrential flow.

Self-consciousness?: In rare moments, he’ll let on what sound like fears of being criticized or rejected - and I think he sees himself as being very lonely. I’ve seen him endure what I’m reluctant to label “panic attacks” on numerous occasions – which by his description appear to be brought on by something akin to an extreme form of self-consciousness. Indeed, he seems tremendously self-conscious much of the time, to the point of being self-involved. I mean this with all candor and no recrimination – and I swear, I don’t take it personally anymore - but I no longer expect or hope for him to ask me about my feelings, thoughts or reactions, particularly within the context of the relationship.

A caveat: Having been in several relationships, I'm positive this isn't just a classic gender breakdown (and I do acknowledge that gender can and probably does play a role). And I freely acknowledge that I have all the foibles you can imagine – I am more often than not proud, willful and hot-tempered (to name a few). My pride, particularly, has led me to be stung by his words and actions at times when my energies would have been much better spent mending fences. If this were about blame, I'd have more than my fair share. But, I promise, what I describe here isn’t at all about blame – it’s about a real concern that there’s no way to make this work in the long-term.

The wrap-up: I want very much to make him happy, but I worry that not only can I not make him happy, I can’t make myself happy in this relationship either. In a nutshell: he shows great restraint with me, and me, I push him. I worry that my behavior makes him feel like he’s under attack, and I know that his hands-off approach (both literally and figuratively) makes me feel desperately lonely.

Dear reader: Have you been in a relationship with someone who sounds a bit like this - or do you know someone who has? How do you make it work? I'm willing to put in the effort - but I need help. And at some level - petty as this may sound - I suppose that I need to know I'm not the only one out there.

Dom in bed, sub in life

Anonymous — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 12:32:18 -0800

Dominant in bed, submissive in life - how to get over feeling like a weirdo? http://ask.metafilter.com/124300/Dom-in-life-sub-in-bed

In the exact reverse of the question asked earlier today, I am wondering about dealing with the guilt I feel about the disconnect between my daily personality and my actions in bed. I am very easy going, friendly, and solicitous towards everyone, especially partners, but sexually I am only interested in rough sex where I am the supplier of pain and various domination scenarios (nothing extreme or damaging and not overly complicated bondage, just exertions of power and mild humiliation).

I never really made the connection between my out-of-bed and in-bed personae before...but recently it has begun to worry me. Am I taking out frustrations with being nice and sweet and adept at social niceties and following rules on my partners? I know that is more of a question for my therapist, so instead I will ask restate what the last person asked:

"I was just wondering if anyone else has dealt with this particular issue and how they reconciled these conflicting attitudes in their minds. I just want to stop feeling like there is something "wrong" and just be able to pursue all my goals without feeling like a (sniveling revenge-taking creep)."

I don't think it matters to answer this question, but I am a male. Thanks!

Dom in life, sub in bed

Anonymous — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 08:21:18 -0800

Dom in life, sub in bed - how to get over feeling like a hypocrite? I'm a girl in my early twenties, in law school, and most of my life up to this point has been preparation for a successful career. Not to say I haven't had fun, but that was, and still is, one of my major goals in life. I'm a staunch feminist. I'm doing well and I have no real concerns about my professional future.

Just as a sidenote, I know that I can have these two sides to my personality and be happy with myself and I don't have to be exclusively one type of person in each realm of my life. I try not to be close-minded that way, but nevertheless something feels wrong.

My problem is how I reconcile that part of me, with the other, very different side of me. Sexually, I'm about as submissive as a person can get. I'm into BDSM, general D/s, and you could say anything related to "little girl" fetishes. I went through a phase when I was younger where I thought I was really screwed up and there was something wrong with me, but now I enjoy it immensely and have found someone who is absolutely amazing in relating to both of these sides.

Every now and again though, I feel like something is wrong. I have arguments about whether there are inherent differences between males and females and I refuse to believe that my femininity makes me less capable of being successful professional and being a good leader. And then this voice in my head always says "if only they knew what you like to do when you're alone at home."

My question is not about how to change anything. I don't. I was just wondering if anyone else has dealt with this particular issue and how they reconciled these conflicting attitudes in their minds. I just want to stop feeling like there is something "wrong" and just be able to pursue all my goals without feeling like a hypocrite.

The Elements of Charm

Astro Zombie — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 07:47:09 -0800

How to be charming. What would you say are the elements of personal charm? What resources would you recommend for someone seeking to be charming?

How can I develop a more dominant personality?

Anonymous — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 09:58:38 -0800

How can I develop a more dominant personality? I recently came out of a relationship that I feel ended because I didn't know how to deal with my (self-described) submissive partner. I'm interested in learning some day-to-day things I can work on in order to learn to be more dominant.

Things I've tried so far:
1. Being more assertive about preferences - I'm always the guy who doesn't care which restaurant we go to, etc.
2. Trying to take more risks - I'm always afraid to go for the first kiss in a relationship, etc.

I'd appreciate tips on how to improve skills like these and associated with more dominant or alpha type personalities.

What do I do when someone at work doesn't like me and is rude to me?

metaseeker — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 19:27:33 -0800

How to deal with person at work who obviously dislikes me? Hi:

I work at a veterinary clinic with a doctor-owner, his wife, one nurse, a receptionist, and some part time help. I am the new doctor, straight out of school. The receptionist got hired a month after I did.

For some reason, this receptionist is afraid of me, or doesn't like me, or has no respect for me. When I arrive in the morning and greet her with a sunny "Good morning", she barely musters up a grunt and does not look up. When I talk to her, she looks at someone else.

This is a small enough office that I can't avoid interacting with her. In addition, I am concerned that her incivility interferes with my ability to do my job. What verbal or nonverbal cues is she giving my clients about me?

I am leaving this job in two months, and I will be only working two to three days a week until then. Do I just suck it up? It is rather unpleasant to work in this miasma of bad vibes. The whole office is like a dish that went wrong after throwing in too many ingredients.

My husband says to just ignore it and get through it. What do the mefites think? Do I continue saying good morning and acting civil to her? Or do I cut my losses and stop bothering to interact with her?

thanks!

Lazy Pseudo Statistician Looking for Computer To Do Work For Him

theichibun — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 20:05:04 -0800

How can I take a Myers-Briggs test entered into SPSS in a per question format and get a Myers-Briggs Type for each of 92 participants? I've tried Google and am getting nothing. I downloaded a trial so I can work on it at home while I'm on Spring Break, and the Help files didn't install or something to where the end result is that I can't use them. I'm also kicking myself for not getting my text back after letting someone borrow it for my school's stats class.

I have 92 surveys, part of which is a Myers-Briggs Personality Test. I've entered the data on a question by question basis, where each of the 20 Myers-Briggs questions has an option value of either 1 or 2 (representing E or I, S or N, T or F, or J or P depending on the question).

I know I can get a frequency to get the personality type of the entire sample population. But how can get SPSS to score he Myers-Briggs for me on a survey by survey basis?

If it would be easier, I also have the surveys available and can go score them all by hand. But I'd rather not to that if I don't have to.

Help me save my brother from the fundies

DecemberBoy — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 21:20:50 -0800

My brother has fallen in with a group of scary fundamentalist Christians. I am worried that these people are trying to change him. What can I do? Am I right to be worried? My brother has been a Christian of the my-religion-is-my-business sort for a while now, and I've always respected that even though I am an atheist, but he has recently started spending a lot of time around some pretty scary zealot types. I'm pretty sure that his primary motivation, at least at first, is/was to spend time around a girl he likes that's part of this group. Now, if he's just trying to get laid, he's definitely going about it the wrong way, but I think it's starting to go beyond that. He is the type of person that when he gets interested in something, he becomes obsessive about it, and he is somewhat impressionable as well.

He's been going with them to church and Bible study every night for the past few weeks. And now, the thing that made me really start to worry, is he said today that he's abstaining from caffeine because he wants to "cleanse his body". His love of Dr. Pepper is such that it's a full-on aspect of his personality, so this is a worrisome change. He also told my father that he's going to audition for the church's "praise and worship" band. This is a man who loves heavy metal and punk rock like most people love their children and has the Metallica pointed star symbol tattooed on his arm, so that he'd associate himself with awful saccharine anti-music worries me as well.

One comforting thing is when he told my dad about the church band, he told him not to tell me because he was worried I would make fun of him (I wouldn't have). Now, if he was really zealous about all this, he wouldn't care what I think, right? I think there is a line he won't cross, and when/if these yahoos tell him that heavy metal and tattoos and motorcycles are the devil's work, I'm pretty sure he'd tell them to fuck off. However, I'm not completely sure. I love my brother and I don't want these assholes to brainwash him. Is there any way to approach him about my concerns without alienating him?

We've got something for everyone?

ageispolis — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 15:04:23 -0800

DecidophobeFilter: What do you hold to be a particularly accurate/helpful free online test to label/understand yourself and thus choose a "lifepath" or "value-set". The sarcasm-loaded question against the legitimacy of these dichotomies, be it Myers-Briggs or Numerology, is probably not the best mindset to go into taking them, but that's why I'm asking what you, MeFites, believe to be worthy free online tests that you've found to be accurate, helpful, or whatever. It can be IQ, Career-oriented, EQSQ, etc.

Fun games, quizzes and personality tests

skylar — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 01:06:17 -0800

A while back someone ran a personality test called The Cube on me. I've also played a similar game whereby each participant in turn says "I have never done [name of activity x goes here]" and the others around the table have to drink if they have done x. Can you recommend any other fun games, personality tests or quizzes that can be used in social situations, can be easily memorised, don't require much in the way of additional materials and help you get to know others better? School-age, juvenile stuff is perfectly acceptable!

Career filter: Interview then... personality test!?

Anonymous — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 14:27:45 -0800

Career filter: Interview then... personality test!? Um, what the heck? Hey team green! Hoping you can help here - love you guys! - thanks in advance!

So I'm up for this job and the recruiter just sprung a bit of a surprise - They employer requires I take a personality test.

Say what?

Needless to say this is a first for me. Feels fairly creepy... but I was reassured that it has become something of a standard practice.

"Um, yeah?"

Guess I could just take it... what's the big deal? I'm not a jerkass... or... AM I???... OMG. I've never taken a test to scientastically quantify this... I could be pinning the needle in the red!! (the guy honking at me this AM would bet on it)

Jeeze... I guess I'll find out?

Wondering if anyone has any experience they can share? Are these things legit? Are there more reputable testing companies? Anything I should watch out for?

Thanks again!!

How to care for my geek husband?

Anonymous — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 16:12:50 -0800

I need help understanding how my hyper-smart geek husband's brain works. I want to give him the understanding he craves but am having a hard time inhabiting his plane. I have been happily married for some years to a wonderful, geeky, man whom I love deeply. He's super intelligent (mathematician/computer scientist) and has tons of fabulous qualities, but even he admits that he's a "difficult" character: he believes himself to live a life of pure logic and despairs - literally despairs - at all the irrationality around him.

I'm also a geek, but to a less extreme extent (I'm also female - don't know if that's relevant). He admits that I am "more rational" than average but still at times rages at me for my idiocy when I don't agree with his "rational ideas". He does this to friends, acquaintances, and colleagues, too, with predictably disastrous results. My default reaction is to try to explain the causes and reasons behind mine and others' seeming irrationality, to talk about the complexity of real life and the validity of implicit social rules - but this infuriates him further.

I've pretty much come to the conclusion that as I love this man, I just need to accept how he is and find strategies to deal with the fact that there will sometimes be inevitable conflict.

However, last night, after a discussion about politics sparked off by him yelling "liars!" at the TV, he admitted to me that he often feels lonely not being able too talk about his ideas without them being "attacked", and pleaded with me to try to just "go with it" when he has some idea he wants to discuss. Now, I'm sure I often *do* do this (after all, he chose me to marry - I must occasionally get things right) - but frequently I genuinely don't know how, and we don't seem to be able to figure it out together.

For example, last night the idea he floated was that every person holding public office should be under video surveillance 24/7/365 as a condition of holding the job. I responded that this was unrealistic and that nobody would ever want office given this condition. I guess he was looking for me to riff with him on the advantages of such an idea, but frankly, I really thought it was lousy. I can't lie to him - not when he's seeking to have an intellectually exploratory discussion - but I don't know how to respond both honestly and postively when the "abstract" ideas he posits seem to me to be as realistic as deciding to raise unicorns.

Although he works with computers, his passion is mathematics, and he seems to believe that his mastery of formal logic qualifies him to "fix" things outside of mathematics. He tells me he's starting from pure logic and then wants help working back to reality. However, when so many of his "fixes" concern human beings, I find it really hard to take them seriously without immediately bringing in issues around human nature. This, to him, sounds like .. criticism? irrelevance? whatever ... it's not where he wants to go.

Maybe my discussion style doesn't help - I am used to rough-and-tumble intellectual debates, where challenge and dispute is not a negative but a spur to strengthen one's arguments. I guess I need to learn to turn this off at times.

He's a really, really, angry man, and I can see that it hurts him, as well as causing social difficulty. He doesn't want to "give in" and be like all the other "sheep" and claims to value integrity and honesty above everything else. He admits he is an idealist, and while I admire that, a large part of me wants to "cure" that so that he won't be continually disappointed when humanity fails to live up to his ideals.

I understand that you can't and shouldn't try to change someone. I accept that he is likely to remain "difficult" and abrasive. I would, however, like some advice on how to help him feel less alone. He tells me he'd like for just one person in the world to understand him, and he wishes it could be me. I wish that too - what should I do?

Personality-Based Design/Arts/Fashion Blogging - new trend?

divabat — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 00:02:05 -0800

Is there a specific term/genre that defines bloggers such as Gala Darling, Nubby Twiglet, Queen Gilda, Doe Deere, This is Star, and Agent Lover? Has anyone tracked this? I've noticed a few of those sort of blogs recently, sharing similar things in terms of aesthetics and content:

* Young female, using a glamorous pen name
* A mix between personal life, recommendations of products/people, and how-tos based on everyday life (such as How To Be Fabulous)
* Plenty on design, fashion, style, culture, trends
* Blogger likely to be an artist or other creative person
* Promotes the blogger itself as a brand
* "Things I Love Tuesday" (possibly started by one of those bloggers)
* Similar layouts

A few of these blogs cross-link to each other, but other than that I don't see anything that suggests they're part of a collective or tight group of friends. Rather, it seems to be a growing sub-trend of blogging, and I was wondering if anyone else had noticed this and/or done some research on these blogs.

They're like camgirls in the sense that there's quite a bit of voyeurism into their personal lives, but it's not constant. They're seen as icons and inspiration, and have enough followers to even sell products with their branding (AFAIK Gala Darling lives on Adsense income). When I was a teen, random-content-heavy personal sites, often with vector illustrations, were the Big Thing; this seems like an outgrowth of that.

Is there a name for this? Does anyone else fit this aesthetic?

Creating an Artistic Persona

divabat — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 04:32:03 -0800

followup to this question: how does one create and develop a persona? I'm referring to artistic/entertainment personas, such as Borat and Ali G - where performers actually take on a whole new personality as part of their work.

How are such personas developed? Are they carefully planned out, or do they organically develop? How much of the persona is developed before being performed (for example, does Borat have a detailed childhood history?)? Is it much like creating a fictional character for stories, or is there some other process?

Along with that, how are the other aspects - fashion, style, mannerisms, talents, accents, etc - of the persona handled? Does someone that want to make an artistic persona usually go to classes to learn all those skills? Where do they get it from?

I've emailed Empress V (who performs in Brisbane as A Wonder Woman, amongst others) and she's given me some good advice, but I'd like to know of any other perspectives and resources. Google doesn't turn up much and my local libraries don't have a lot on the topic either - where and what topic should I be looking for?

Shoot the Messenger? Cult of Personality?

divabat — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 21:11:26 -0800

Which causes or ideas have become more about the messenger than the message? I remember, for a while after "An Inconvenient Truth" came out, there was a lot of fuss given on Al Gore personally alongside (and sometimes more than) the attention on climate change. Now Al Gore's fame has quelled a little, but I was wondering if there have been any other social causes or new ideas that are now only remembered because of the presenter - or even if those ideas have fallen by the wayside in favour of the presenter's personality.

While Princess Diana brought landmines to greater public attention, it wasn't the cause of her fame, and the landmines cause hasn't diminished just because of her. Similarly, there isn't one clear person that can be credited for the gay rights movement or the feminist movement.

However, how many people would understand Albert Einstein's Theory or Relativity or how it's relevant to today's world? How about Stephen Hawking's work on astrophysics? Has their "celebrity" overshadowed understanding of their work on a mass level?

Also, has there been any studies or research done in this area? Is there a name for this phenomena?

Are there seeds in this applecore?

self — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 22:23:57 -0800

How do I build a stronger personality? This is a complicated question, but I really want to simplify it- boil it down to a few points so that I can take your insight and explore their ideas in a branching manner.

It comes down to this:

I feel like I have but a small amount of real personality- that I have little in the way of moral values I can claim as coming to on my own, that I have only one or two main focuses of energy at any given time (and these often shift around randomly), that people can't point to me and say "this person is a real so-and-so", or "that's something so-and-so would say/do". Maybe people do say or think these things, but I certainly don't feel like they'd have any certain compass point to do so.

The flip side of this is that I feel like my self is very malleable- that whenever I'm speaking with someone, I will bend my conversation, mannerisms, and whatever else to suit them. This is unconscious. I feel like there's no other way to be around them.

I'm aware that there can be different instances of a person- that you wouldn't necessarily act the same way around your mother as you would your best friend, but this goes beyond that. Friend to friend, no matter the status of knowledge of each other, I change.

Have you ever seen Zelig by Woody Allen? I feel like the central character- but to me, it's not so funny. Helpless, I guess.

So I'm asking- has anyone out there have advice as to how to solidify myself? To get over what appears to be a lack of identity? Should I write out my feelings on various controversial topics and work out my critical thinking (this I have done, it doesn't seem to stick)? Should I shout out to the dawn my most terrible fears and violent passions and see what I blurt?

How do I get to know myself to the degree that, if one were to draw a graph of my personality where X was my interactions with various individuals over time and Y was the amount of change in my character, one would see a straight line?

I know, this is all very eponysterical. But thank you in advance. I hope I don't have to point out how vulnerable this feels to post non-anonymously. Be kind.