41 posts tagged with perfectionism. (View popular tags)
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If I could just care less about my work, I'd do a better job.

I'm the kind of person who gets worried enough they'll do their work not well, or make a mistake, that they end up either not starting or working too slowly and filled with dread. Last week, I had to work late on a project. I had two beers in the process, found I cared less about the anxiety and dread and perfectionism, and just did a better, less stressful job. I want to do this without drinking. [more inside]
posted by Ash3000 on Mar 24, 2014 - 14 answers

 

Raising kids with "grit"

What can I do as a parent to help my child build persistence, self-discipline, high standards, and work ethic? [more inside]
posted by Bardolph on Nov 13, 2013 - 44 answers

How to disengage

I am a student working on a term project with a group that has pretty much gone off the rails. We're probably not going to fail, but we will definitely be submitting a solidly (sub-)mediocre finished product, when I know that we could have done much better. As someone with somewhat perfectionist tendencies, how can I learn to let go and accept this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 8, 2013 - 8 answers

Perfectionist kid?

I'm looking for advice for helping my 5 year old (new kindergartener) daughter deal with what looks like nascent perfectionist tendencies. [more inside]
posted by gaspode on Sep 10, 2013 - 35 answers

How to accept failure when your best isn't good enough?

Last week was difficult for me; I am a student at a truck driving school and I failed my road test on Wednesday. [more inside]
posted by 8LeggedFriend on Aug 18, 2013 - 16 answers

What use am I if I am always to be average or mediocre?

Perfectionism has been something I have dealt with since I was a child. I am 22 years old and what I think about a lot is what use am I if I have no extraordinary abilities, talents, or accomplishments. [more inside]
posted by 8LeggedFriend on Aug 11, 2013 - 60 answers

How Do I Learn to Stop Worrying and Love Art School?

Due to a mix of laziness, depression, social anxiety and loneliness, I'm not doing too great in school. I really need to get it together, and I just don't know how to do it. I feel tapped out at the end of the day and I'm tired of it. I like art, but going to school for it just isn't very fulfilling. I'm thinking I just need to get through it and I'll be okay, but how do I develop the work ethic that my classmates have? [more inside]
posted by malapropist on Mar 19, 2013 - 23 answers

I suck. How do I live with that?

I recently finished a lengthy project. I thought I did really well, and nothing indicated during the process that there was anything wrong. But I just got my review and it was poor. I feel like dying. Basically, when you've really fucked up and got no-one else to blame for it than your own incompetence, how do you shake it off and go on with your life? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 15, 2013 - 48 answers

Is there a good quote or idiom for this sentiment?

It doesn't have to 100% match the sentiment, but I'd love if it has the same general lesson (and is more concise than the following): "An idea that you keep in your head, incessantly perfecting, is worth nothing. Whereas the person who is willing to actually act on an idea, even if it's imperfect, has accomplished something. So instead of getting hung up on perfection, just DO something and learn from it for the next time." I'm kind of looking for what, say, Diablo Cody would say to her hipster haters who have never finished a screenplay. Or what you'd tell your friend who wants to be a writer but has been tinkering with their novel for the last 200 years. Oh, and I know about "perfect is the enemy of the good."
posted by Anonymousness on Mar 10, 2013 - 52 answers

How can I achieve a state of creative flow as a writer?

When I'm racing to meet a writing deadline, I feel a sense of exhilaration, momentum, and flow. How can achieve that state on a regular basis so I can make steady progress on my writing? [more inside]
posted by incandescentman on Feb 27, 2013 - 17 answers

How do you get over perfectionism?

How do you get over perfectionism? [more inside]
posted by mermily on Jan 7, 2013 - 14 answers

the L word

how can i learn to love myself and be more self-confident in my relationship? [more inside]
posted by happyjuice on Dec 17, 2012 - 9 answers

Help me figure out my life post-PhD

Having trouble figuring out what I want and committing to a career path and figuring out how to decide 'what I am', and crippled by perfectionism. About to finish a PhD and could use guidance on now to navigate the next step. [more inside]
posted by anybodys on Dec 7, 2012 - 11 answers

How to help a friend stuck for decades?

Friend stuck in a deep rut. Increasingly concerned he may never escape. Anything I can do to help? [more inside]
posted by u2604ab on Nov 28, 2012 - 23 answers

Skeptical of my own abilities.

The time is drawing near when I have to make a name for myself, put myself out there, promote myself as a capable, dependable, charming, motivated, talented, creative, expressive, innovative, hirable grownup. But I'm having a bit more difficulty with this than I'd anticipated. I can't remember the last time I felt proud of anything I've done. [more inside]
posted by The Biggest Dreamer on Nov 12, 2012 - 3 answers

What are some cognitive hacks to interrupt yourself when you can tell you're falling into a borderline obsessive behavior?

What are some cognitive hacks to interrupt yourself when you can tell you're falling into a borderline obsessive behavior? [more inside]
posted by StrawberryPie on Oct 9, 2012 - 16 answers

Idiopathic delayed note syndrome

I supervise a person who has enormous difficulty finishing her case notes. My efforts to remediate her so far have been unsuccessful. How can I help her finish her work? [more inside]
posted by The Elusive Architeuthis on Sep 12, 2012 - 39 answers

How can I break this thought pattern?

I haven't been able to use certain items or do certain things until I feel my life has "started." How can I break this thought pattern? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 31, 2012 - 54 answers

the relationship between procrastination, perfectionism, and anxiety

I think I procrastinate on projects as a dysfunctional way to manage my anxiety about them. Can you help me manage that anxiety more productively? [more inside]
posted by colfax on Dec 8, 2011 - 8 answers

A couple of sex questions.

How do I get over the notion I need to have perfect sex, and how do I incorporate new ideas into what we do? [more inside]
posted by A Special Kind of Weird on Sep 25, 2011 - 15 answers

Victorians had very little furniture I guess.

The bin is out front, my reciprocating saw is ready... too bad we haven't settled on a floor plan for our reno. AskMe, we need your votes! [more inside]
posted by Popular Ethics on May 7, 2011 - 28 answers

Help, I'm a Platonist!

I am passionately in love with ideas, but I feel pretty tepid about real things. Can this be reversed? [more inside]
posted by overeducated_alligator on Apr 21, 2011 - 5 answers

Help for a kid with anxiety and distorted thinking

Resources to help a perfectionist/anxious kid with distorted thinking. [more inside]
posted by not that girl on Feb 15, 2011 - 16 answers

and all systems are not go

Help me stop overthinking myself into a loop and actually get stuff done. [more inside]
posted by joyeuxamelie on Dec 11, 2010 - 13 answers

Help me not let an A- ruin my day...

Help me not let an A- ruin my day... [more inside]
posted by amileighs on May 6, 2010 - 25 answers

What happens to a dream derailed?

My lifelong dream and driving force has turned into a source of bitterness and disappointment for me. Not sure what happened, how to fix it, or if I should even bother. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 3, 2010 - 25 answers

Life starts... now.

I really want to start living my life now, as is, instead of waiting until things are "right" and obsessing about perfection - but I keep falling into this way of thinking - help! [more inside]
posted by Chrysalis on Mar 27, 2010 - 21 answers

How to manage my time management system?

I'm starting to exercise some control over my time. Help me make this work. [more inside]
posted by parudox on Mar 13, 2010 - 6 answers

Is having "it" together an unrealistic goal?

As a 30-year old who is a part-time grad student and a full-time office worker, are my goals to get control over my life (weight loss, finances, home, work, etc) really unrealistic? Is there a way to just be NORMAL and balanced, or is it really just normal not to really have things together, even as an adult? [more inside]
posted by dumbledore69 on Nov 13, 2009 - 27 answers

Doing "enough to get by" vs. "hard work"

When is it actually worth it to attempt to do any better than average? [more inside]
posted by jnnla on Oct 21, 2009 - 18 answers

How can I become less absent minded?

How can I become less absent minded? [more inside]
posted by emilyd22222 on Oct 16, 2009 - 23 answers

Tripping on Calvinist guilt

Help me stop myself from turning into my dad: how do I manage daily guilt? [more inside]
posted by brambory on Oct 13, 2009 - 10 answers

how do I put a stake through the heart of the vampire of perfectionism?

How do I stop setting ridiculous expectations of myself and then either beating myself up when I don't meet them, or feeling more stressed during the process than is warranted? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 20, 2009 - 10 answers

Help me shut down my perfectionism in my creative writing

How do I kill the perfectionism, the precious and fearful impulses, and the self-doubt that keeps me from completing my creative writing projects. [more inside]
posted by mizrachi on Aug 2, 2008 - 50 answers

Aim for the stars, then whatever you achieve you can feel like a failure.

What is 'good enough'? Reforming perfectionist wants to know. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 31, 2008 - 27 answers

Help me plan my career

Another "Help me plan my life" question... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 27, 2008 - 12 answers

GradSchoolFilter: I know I can... but I can't.

I'm a grad student. I like the subject(s) I'm studying, I like research, and I know I'm capable of doing the work... except when I sit down to actually do it, I choke. I know I'm not the only one suffering from both imposter syndrome and perfectionism - how do you manage to get your brain to stop spinning its wheels and get to work? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 31, 2008 - 33 answers

Help me let the muse in!

I have a huge mental block when it comes to writing songs that is the direct result of being ridiculed or sometimes even punished by my father when I was little. It's so bad that even when I try, a little voice in my head screams, "no, no, no!" and I just shut down. Freewriting is great, but I need to be able to ignore that voice even when I'm writing thoughtfully and paying attention to conventions like rhyme, rhythm and melody. I have plenty of ideas, but I need help learning how to get them out onto paper. Any ideas? [more inside]
posted by freshwater_pr0n on Dec 27, 2007 - 21 answers

:(

how my perfectionism, indecisiveness, and depression are driving me mad. [more inside]
posted by howiamdifferent on Sep 10, 2007 - 17 answers

Chasing grades

Chasing grades is no longer working for me. I feel terrible when I get less than perfect grade, even if I have put in a great effort, even if I get the next best grade. [more inside]
posted by b33j on May 24, 2007 - 16 answers

Conquering perfectionism in a dissertation.

Conquering perfectionism. [more inside] [more inside]
posted by .kobayashi. on Dec 14, 2003 - 16 answers

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