Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with peopleskills

How do I get over my social anxiety?

Anonymous — Sun, 07 Oct 2007 16:47:47 -0800

How can I get over my social anxiety when at SO's work gatherings. OR how do I fake proper behavior? My social anxiety is high when I am at my SO's work parties. I try to avoid them, but I have to go every now and then. One reason that I am anxious is that I am a doctoral student and as such am out of shape, have crappy clothes, bad hair and nothing "normal" to talk about except my research. Meeting new people isn't a priority for me right now. How can I get through these events?

Help me improve my interview skills.

liesbyomission — Mon, 30 Jul 2007 01:03:47 -0800

Help me improve my interview skills so I have a better shot at getting an internship this year. I know that I'm very well qualified, but this past year it just seemed like I couldn't get a internship. It doesn't help that many less-qualified people I know seemed to have gotten them. I am an engineering (chemical, specifically) student at a top engineering school, and I will be a junior this year. I have a high GPA. I am talented in areas other than engineering. I have leadership experience like whoa and a long history of community service.

However, I cannot seem to get this across in an interview, mostly because I stumble on a few questions. And I really do need an internship this year if I have any hope of getting hired for real, because I don't have time to do academic research or anything like that during the school year.

My biggest problems usually come with questions having to do with weaknesses, risks and failures. I don't really understand what they're trying to get at with the weaknesses question. I've been told that you're actually supposed to give a strength disguised as a weakness, but I have trouble thinking of things like that. My real weaknesses include being socially awkward and things of that ilk. How am I supposed to come up with things that don't make me sound like an antisocial freak? One I've come up with is "I love to challenge myself, so I sometimes wind up taking on too much." That's about it, though.

I can't really think of very many risks I've taken. I don't like taking risks and try to avoid them as much as possible. Also, I have a hard time thinking of failures. I don't want to come across as arrogant, but I really cannot think of any major failures in my life. The only failure in recent memory was nearly failing my first math exam freshman year. I've not really had any major life-messups nor failure to complete projects or assignments.

I know that none of you know me or anything about my personality, so I am asking for ways I could think of this stuff or even examples that you would use in an interview of your own.

Any resources, such as your favorite books or websites, would be greatly appreciated.

Respect my authroitaaahh!

aprivateperson — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 07:56:38 -0800

It's become apparent that in my personal, work and social life, I need to get people to do what I want them to do naturally. Without having to justify every little incident. How do I do that and become more assertive? Up to now, any time I've wanted someone to do something, I've tried persuasion and appealing to their better side. The nice-guy approach to delegation, if you will. But that's no longer enough.

What I need are hints and tips on how to attain an air of natural authority, where people will actually do what I want them to do without too much questioning.

Any suggestions?

Meeting People is Easy

JPowers — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 20:16:51 -0800

How do I meet people and win them over immediately? Once I get to know someone, I believe that most people would say I'm a blast. In fact, were I asked to blow my own horn, I've been popular more or less my whole life. That said, it takes me awhile before that awkward feeling of being around a stranger I'm supposed to interact with goes away.

Thus, I want to know how to meet someone and, within the first few minutes, feel comfortable with them. I want people to almost immediately think of me as, well, a cool guy.

I'm chiefly looking to impress people in environments like parties and social events. Complete strangers, no introductions.

Also, I'm NOT looking for advice on how to make new friends or sustain long lasting relationships, I'm looking for advice more along the lines of networking.

Also, if anyone knows of any books, audio books, blog posts, etc. that cover this topic, those are welcome as well.

How do you cope with incompetent team members?

koenie — Mon, 03 Apr 2006 07:17:25 -0800

How do you cope with incompetent team members? I'm currently working on a project with a low-skilled partner. He has a great personality and tries to do his best, but I often cringe when I have to review his work. His English is abominable and his writing style is even worse. He doesn't seem to be able to grasp the big picture and tends to ramble on about insignificant details in nearly incomprehensible prose.

I'm quite the perfectionist and I'm having quite a difficult time dealing with this. I procrastinate on reading his output and discussing ideas with him. I get that funny feeling in my stomach when I think about the effect this will have on our grade.

However, I do recognize that my behaviour may be causing the most problems in this situation, and that I simply have to make the best of it and move on. Can you give me some advice on how to handle this?

Have a Nice Day!

Anonymous — Sun, 19 Dec 2004 00:22:57 -0800

I'd like to be nicer to people. I'm generally anxious, socially awkward, and don't enunciate very well. I have trouble with spontaneous conversation and small talk, and get flustered by clumsy social encounters. As a result I've developed a reputation as aloof and unapproachable. What can I do to be a more pleasant person?