Are we more tired than our ancestors? What is causing this? [more inside]
I've written an essay about my relationship with my ex. What are your experiences with publishing personal essays about friends or family members? [more inside]
I'm looking for books, preferably audio books, about setting boundaries with people and learning when to say no/yes. I want something grounded in psychology, without any religious undertones (although I am open to wisdom from any religion as long as it doesn't get preachy).
When did the phrase "Garbage People/Person" become popular? [more inside]
I'm looking for tasks where (1) each person consistently does it in a particular way, (2) believes that everyone else does it that same way, and (3) is wrong about (2). [more inside]
I'm looking for books that: 1. List different beliefs and practices of many different world cultures, both contemporary or historical cultures. 2. Are accessible, as in not needing an anthropology degree to understand them. 3. Preferably have pictures. 4. Are non-fiction, NOT a narrative with characters. I just want the facts. 5. Can be for kids or adults. 6. Preferably not internet resources because I want to minimize screen time. [more inside]
How do you handle conversations with strangers (specific ones) without offending - snowflake details inside. [more inside]
I'm getting divorced after 20+ years of marriage. Once everything is official and done and legal, what is the etiquette in terms of ongoing interaction with my ex in-laws? Is it normal (that is, expected or required) to maintain some kind of relationship afterwards (especially as there are kids involved—teens, though, not toddlers)? Or am I free to no longer have to deal with them, and leave all that to my ex-husband?
How to ask the user for confirmation, and not get snapped at....? The service-desk edition. [more inside]
Where should an overseas college student looking to meet local students/fun people to hang out with stay in Boston? [more inside]
I'm doing a big research project and have come across a few articles (and a few videos, one produced by VICE) containing interviews with people I would really love to talk to. How can I get in touch with these people, assuming googling their info is not an option? [more inside]
What European language should I learn for the purpose of higher studies, work, and extensive travelling in Europe? I am a bibliophile, cinephile, and love songs with good and meaningful lyrics. Till now I've been enjoying all these, I mean the ones from Europe, in the form of translations and with the help of subtitles. (I write too; not to publish but it's very important to me). [more inside]
So I'm trying to find examples of cultures/peoples/ethnicities/religions that are significantly dissimilar to the main city/culture/groups that surround them. Like finding a group of Amish people in Detroit. Or the one someone gave me of the significant Hasidic population in the scantily clad nightlife world of South Beach. What other current examples are there in the USA and Canada of unexpected groups in unexpected places?
Where can I find statistics of black officers who have used lethal force against black people.
I need some tips on living with a sensitive temperament. More inside. [more inside]
Let's say I would like to organize 6 friends to go see a baseball game. There's one problem: ticket purchases have to be done at the same time to ensure that people sit together. How is this circle squared? [more inside]
I'm helping my friend's Maid of Honor plan the bachelorette party. Due to a miscommunication, I thought we would be a party of 6 for dinner. Nope. It's between 12 - 15 people. I need to rethink. [more inside]
The person in question is my significant other’s ex, I’ll call Steve. We share custody of the kids (3 under 12 years). Their separation agreement calls for the responsibility/decision making for the kids to be shared 50/50. The kids go back and forth between houses. In reality, we do much more than our share. A recent conflict has left me searching for a new outlook on Steve. I’m tired of being frustrated and angry with his behavior and attitude. I need to find some peace. [more inside]
I have a feeling that hospitals push surgery all the time. my grandma was diagnosed with a heart defect that she was born with and they recommended surgery for 40 years.she has mitral stenosis and she was fine and on meds and no major issue except once when she was in the hospital. however now that we revisited the subject, I asked her if she should get the surgery. she is 77. she is saying God forbid that old people have trouble recoviering from it and that she can die from a surgery when she can just live as long as she can naturally and the pills help her. we know that the pills only treat the symptoms not the underlymg cause. so from your experience and with your old beloved, how do they handle heart surgery after 75? did you have good or bad experience with such surgery? of course I will just respect her wish but I wonder what experience did you have with your beloved ones undergoing mitral stenosis surgery
I'd like examples of traits/personality types/habits/behaviors wherein most people fall into two or three "camps", none of whom are generally aware of the existence of the other(s). "Ask Vs. Guess Culture" and "Sit Vs. Stand to Wipe?" are two examples (a LOT of people are absolutely gobsmacked when they learn that Asking and/or Standing is not only an option, but a POPULAR option). I'm NOT interested in predefined typologies (e.g. the MBTI or Buzzfeedy "What Garden Implement Are You?" kinda stuff)... just ones that, 1. Arise kinda organically, 2. Involve Group A and Group B people frequently being unaware of one another's existence.
I'm an early 30s lesbian who spent most of her 20s in committed relationships. My latest and most significant ended about a year ago and I've started dipping my toe in the scary online dating waters. I'm not ready to get serious yet but since I've been in these long relationships, I've never really 'dated around' per se, except maybe in my very early 20s- although at the time I was pretty closeted and neurotic, so I hardly even count that. Anyway, I registered on OkCupid and messaged back and forth with a few people. Somewhat naively, I gave two of them my phone number to text. BAD IDEA. More inside.. [more inside]
In December I started working for a mill that manufactures flour, and although most employees there are excellent and fun to work with, I am discovering that many of my immediate co-workers appear to sabotage others for their own benefit. [more inside]
I regularly find myself needing to conclude a fairly sizable gathering of people. Too often I find myself at the end of our proceedings, saying something like "Have a great week," expecting people to get up and leave. But they don't. After an awkward moment, I find myself resorting to "We're done." Everyone laughs and finally leaves. How can I better signal a conclusion?
Which people, figures, deities, beings, etc personify the concept of the fairy godmother - a caring compassionate motherly figure who grants wishes? There's the fairytale stock character, but there's also Oprah (and to some extent Ellen). [more inside]
Guitarists get callouses on the tops of their fingers, former ballet dancers stand and walk with a specific alignment, active violinists have a callous under the chin. What are other examples of telltale physical cues and behaviors that can identify what a person does for work, sport, or hobby?
You used to use Facebook regularly, and then you quit. Or tried to quit. Please tell me about it. [more inside]
Who are some notable people with the initials B.A.M.? Living or dead, fictional or otherwise. Americans are preferred, but foreigners are OK too. Prefer people notable enough to have their own Wikipedia pages.
Sorry this is so long. Last time, I came to y'all with a problem with online strangers wanting to barge into my life and take up all my time. You gave me some WONDERFUL advice on how to handle this, including giving me your express permission to resort to a completely made-up personal assistant. So I acquired Serge and am much happier. But... [more inside]
I recently found out my deceased Father had a daughter from a previous relationship. I know her maiden name, but not much else. Should I hire a private investigator or will an online "people finder" suffice? [more inside]
It's recently occurred to me that I am very, very impressionable and mold myself around to wherever/whomever I happen to be with at the moment and it's giving me some concern (Oh god I don't have an actual personality! I am such an easy mark! I will totally get swept up in group hysteria!). Should I be worried about this or should I just learn how to deal better with being a ball of wax? Details inside. [more inside]
I'm writing a book, and I just got the following task from my editor: get a sizable (50+) list of high profile people who have written blurbs or reviews for similar books, and get their mailing addresses. Here's the kicker: I'm not supposed to contact them directly, unless I already know them personally. So! What's the best way to do this? I hear there are search engines that charge a monthly fee for this kind of information, but I'm having a hard time finding out which ones are good and which are scams. What do lawyers use when they need to track people down to serve them? [more inside]
Hivemind! I need your help locating a trio of college kids that I recently spent the afternoon with on an excursion in Cancun. My family and I joined these guys (we were randomly selected as excursion-mates) on a tour through the 'jungle'... zip lining and cave snorkeling. I have something they want. [more inside]
How to see the best in other people? [more inside]
So I am in an extended academic program meaning almost all of my friends have graduated and moved on and I know only a handful of people in my current city. I have always been very shy and since the departure of my friends I have been making every effort to be a more social, friendly, and outgoing person. I have been doing an OK job but sometimes stumble as I feel very awkward initiating friendships of either sex and I really need help with this one. [more inside]
I now live in an area populated by college students. Everything in this neighborhood revolves around the major university in question. Problem is, as much as I look like one, I'm not a college student. And when asked, I feel awkward saying no I don't go to school here. What should my appropriate response be? [more inside]
So I now need to work with a subtle know-it-all. How do I do this? [more inside]
Please help my son (17 years) with a presentation about the homeless people in the US. We are from Scandinavia, and due to our welfare system, we don't have the same situation as in the US. We have explored several issues, and the more we search, the more questions we have. [more inside]
After reading this article, I'm interested in varying the way I get my media more. Aside from places mentioned in the article, Ebony, Latino, PODER, Essence magazines, what should I be reading that will give me more perspective from people of color? [more inside]
I grew up as a painfully shy, socially anxious extrovert. No friends that weren't online, could not talk to anyone. This was not a fun combination, so after Highschool I worked on fixing it and I've gotten better. I can make small talk, break the ice, carry on a general conversation. But this is not what I want. [more inside]
I'm obsessed with my friend? (snowflake details inside). [more inside]
Fluorescent bulbs explosion -- how to clean glass and powder from the carpet? Broken glass is everywhere. And carpets are everywhere. [more inside]
I feel very ambivalent, like I lack perspective (but hope is abundant!), but I am not sure; this state of not knowing and being unsure of myself and what I do is tough [more inside]
Please help me improve my informal networking skills [more inside]
Help me make a mix CD that populates a fictitious town. [more inside]
Is picking people up at the gym a thing? How about at hotels? [more inside]
Not trying to be in control for the actions of others is frequent and good advice. How do you put that into practice? Where do you draw the line?
Not trying to be in control for the actions of others is frequent and good advice. How do you put that into practice? Where do you draw the line? [more inside]
I've been taking on some more responsibility at work with a slight shift towards management, but I feel like I'm in over my head. Can anyone recommend any good books or anything to help me get more up to speed? [more inside]
I have a very difficult time recognizing people when they're wearing, say, sunglasses. Or a hat. [more inside]
Does anyone know which movie / show / video this .gif is from? [more inside]
(re)met the daughter of a family friend last weekend at a wedding. We hadn't seen each other since we were 6 or 7 and she is two years younger than I am. The challenge--spent three hours together, live 600 miles apart, and I can't stop thinking about her. A few more details, but the question is "How can I see if this has potential to go somewhere?" [more inside]