Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with penis

What's the best way to have sex with a tall dude with a big penis who was a virgin up til last week? Please do not answer "vigorously".

Anonymous — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 16:29:32 -0800

NSFW-Filter: My new lover's penis is rather large and we have a not insignificant height difference. Also, he was a virgin up until last week. Please advise. So I am dating this guy who was a virgin when I met him, so he had no idea that he has a pretty big penis. I'm pretty tight-- it's been ages since I've had intercourse (my most recent relationship was with a lady), and sex hasn't been painful with him, but it is a bit uncomfortable, and so far we've had to go very slow in order to keep him from hurting me.

In the past I've had pain in the back of my vaginal opening (similar to what's described in this question, but less severe, and the combination of using a vibrator before sex and using angles that put less friction on that area helped.

I need advice on positions that would help deal with the combination of the height difference (he is a lot taller than me) and the penis size. (Do those pillows in the triangular prism shape-- or other pillows-- used to prop people up help?) We're already using lube (though if you have any particularly awesome brand suggestions, I am always open to new ideas).

General advice on breaking in virgins (without any actual breaking) would also be nice! I am a pretty good teacher about everything but intercourse itself.

Thanks in advance!

Oral sex and jaw pain.

Anonymous — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 19:46:11 -0800

How on earth can I give a blowjob to completion without my jaw recoiling in pain? Over the years I've come in contact with a variety of penises of all shapes and sizes that I love to suck. I really really like giving head, and I've been told that I'm pretty good at it. But I cannot, for the life of me, go longer than five minutes or so, so I never get the chance to finish my men off that way, and I would like to be able to every once in a while.

Yes, I take breaks where I continue to use my hand(s) and I'll do some licking or other non-jaw-oriented moves. But if my jaw was hurting before I took a break, as soon as I continue with the mouth in-and-out the pain immediately returns, so breaks don't really help much.

I know the first thing you want to scream is "TMJ!", but I have never had any other symptoms and I really don't think that's the problem.

I also have given head from pretty much every imaginable angle, and none are better than any other.

Lastly, please don't say "oh he's just happy that he's got someone down there to begin with, don't worry about it" or "finish him off with your hand, he'll just be happy to orgasm", etc, etc. I just really want to do this for my own satisfaction.

So, I'm looking for possible exercises, stretches, or techniques that you have used to overcome this problem, or any other suggestions you may have.

Thanks!

Why does my nose run when I perform oral sex on a man?

Anonymous — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 15:31:05 -0800

Why does my nose run when I perform oral sex on a man? (NSFW details inside) I'm a woman who really enjoys giving head to a man, but I've often found that I will get the sniffles if the session is prolonged, especially in the morning. I'm not usually a sniffly person and this doesn't seem to be associated with a cold or allergies. It's somewhat more likely if this a morning session, although it can happen any time during the day. It's a little annoying, but amusing, too, and we both giggle when I have to both wipe my face and blow my nose afterwards.

Am I a little congested and unaware of it until my breathing is constricted by a full mouth? If his cock is hitting various points in my mouth and throat, is it sometimes triggering an associated nerve that makes my nose run? Any other ideas?

I want a physical thing, no more, no less

Anonymous — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 14:32:52 -0800

How do I identify and meet women interested in a one night stand? For the past few years, I've found myself in a number of relationships where my partners don't want to have sex. They'll do everything to remain technical virgins (oral, mutual masturbation, etc.), but penetrative intercourse is out. For some reason, I seem to keep meeting these sorts of women when I go out looking for a girlfriend.

At this point, I'm single and ready to have some fun. I've been thinking of going to bars and other places where I might meet women who are interested in a purely sexual relationship.

My questions are:

1. How can I tell if a woman is interested in having a one night stand?

2. Where can I meet women who are interested in only a sexual relationship? For example, does craigslist Casual Encounters actually work?

3. If I suspect a woman may be interested in a one night stand, then how can I proposition her for this?

If you need to follow up, throwaway e-mail is mansextonight at gmail.com.

Help me help his penis (and my sex life)

Anonymous — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 16:40:20 -0800

How can I tactfully tell my boyfriend that I think he has phimosis, which I feel is the main cause of his erection problems? My awesome sexy loving boyfriend takes a long time to get an erection, and consistently loses it after around 10 minutes of sex. It's totally frustrating for both of us. He's not had much previous sexual experience and is understandably embarrassed about the situation. His foreskin is extremely tight and when I tried bringing this up as a potential cause, he didn't seem to think it was an issue. His verdict is that he's nervous, and after one too many failed attempts I totally understand why the next time he's more anxious in case it happens again, creating a vicious cycle. There's definitely a psychological element there, but I still feel the foreskin is partly to blame. After a bit of digging around, I made a pretty confident internet-diagnosis of phimosis (NSFW). Really, that wikipedia picture is an exact replica of his penis. However, I can find very little information linking phimosis and erectile dysfunction. In theory it makes total sense - if the head remains covered by the foreskin, surely things are less sensitive down there? And although he says there's no pain during sex, I can't imagine it's very comfortable. It feels like he's burying his head in the sand for fear that there's something 'wrong' with him - he's quite defensive when I attempt to bring it up, so I'm worried that saying something like 'hey honey, I looked on Wikipedia and I think there's actually something physically wrong with your penis' will knock his confidence even more and add additional anxiety/psychological issues into the mix which will only make things worse.

I've read about the various treatments for phimosis and it sounds simple enough to treat, so that's not really the issue here. So my questions:

Can anyone with phimosis comment on erection problems?
Anyone have any experience or words of wisdom on the best way to approach this tactfully with him?
How can I convince him that this isn't a big deal, there's nothing fundamentally wrong with him, and get him down the doc's for a chat?
Any other advice or comments welcome.

Thanks in advance, throwaway email is willywoes@googlemail.com

Mystery male organ pains (NSFW)

Anonymous — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 08:32:18 -0800

Mystery male organ pains (NSFW). Doctors I've seen before couldn't figure out the cause. What could it be and who should I see about this in Montreal, Quebec? I've had pain for the last six years in the area near the base of my penis (not on the shaft). It feels irritated constantly and I can't ride a bike. It also takes me a while to lose my erection after sex or masturbation. I'm not sure if that part is related or normal but the last woman I was with was surprised that I kept an erection for a while after orgasm.

This pain scares me and I know it's not normal, so every couple of years, I've gone to the doctor to have it checked out. I've had a few doctors in two different states look at it. Now I live in Canada. While I still lived in the states last year, I had tons of tests done including two different types of ultrasounds. The urologist also stuck a needle in my shaft to check for priapism. He said that high-flow prapism was a possiblity. I've had to urinate frequently my whole life (but I also drink a lot of liquids). The doctor said my prostate looked fine but I'm not sure what kind of tests they did. I had the glove test done tons of times. Because I also had pain in my lower-right abdomen/stomach at the time (which might have been caused by anxiety and stress from a major, sudden and unwanted life change forced upon me at the time), he sent me to a colorectal specialist. I had a colonoscopy done. The doctor who administered the test told me everything was normal, the doctor who ordered the test said it was abnormal. He told me I might have Crohn's disease or ulcerative collitis.

The pains in my stomach have mostly subsided since my life has settled down a bit but the pains at the base of my penis (could this be my prostate?) remain. I'm not sure how to approach this further with doctors. I'm not going to lie- this has been a constant fright for me but I spent roughly $10,000 in the U.S. (out of pocket after insurance) on tests and nobody up to this point has been able to come up with a solid diagnosis of the cause. Nobody has been able to provide a working treatment so I had to stop seeing doctors because I couldn't afford it anymore. I was put on Flomax for a short while and it cured the frequent urination but I don't think I was on it long enough to see if it would help with the pain.

What could this be? Who can I see about this in Montreal, Quebec? I am 26 years old, scared, and my mother says "don't be ridiculous- you're too young to have prostate cancer." I am covered by RAMQ. How difficult would it be to get another prescription for Flomax here? Could I get into trouble for this being a pre-existing condition?

Can a Male have Multiple Orgasms?

Anonymous — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 21:55:48 -0800

Possibly NSFW question about male masturbation. I'm curious about what I'm doing and if anyone knows the name for it so I can try to read up about it online. When I am masturbating I reach a point where I realize that I'm going to come. At this point if I stop touching my penis, I will ejaculate a seemingly normal amount of semen and have what feels like a light orgasm. At this point, I can immediately begin masturbating again, and come again in anywhere from 5 seconds to a minute. This second ejaculation is much smaller, but still something is produced, and the orgasm feeling itself is usually stronger.

Since I realized I could do this last year, I have been working on improving this skill so that I can have 2 or 3 of these "light" orgasms where I come after no longer touching my penis before I do the final one where I continue stroking all the way through. This final orgasm where I am continuing to touch myself puts me into the refractory period where I am unable to get hard again in a way that ejaculations where I am not touching myself do not.

Are these multiple orgasms, or is there some other name for it? Does anyone else do this? Can anyone think of any reason why I should not be doing this? I don't want to be doing something strange that might mess up my penis or my ability to have "normal" sex with other people. I have been having regular sex with other people during the year since I've discovered this without any change that I can detect.

I've read about a fair amount of sex online and haven't seen this discussed, so it's made me quite curious and I'm looking for any other information about what I'm doing. I can also be reached at male.multiple.orgasms@gmail.com

Why might my penis hurt?

Anonymous — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 08:37:26 -0800

Why might my penis hurt? I know the answer to these questions is usually "see a doctor" but a) it's my *penis* and b) I prefer not to launch a $100 or so for the doctor visits without some knowledge of what is underway.

Well, my penis hurts, near the tip. The feeling is like what I think it might feel as if there was a needle or something poking inside it. It does not hurt all the time, only when it is squeezed. It also gets worse when I need to pee.

I know that sexually transmitted diseases are a common cause of penile pain, but it is only in the last two weeks and I've been in a mutually monogamous relationship for 4 years, I do not see how this could be a factor.

What else can cause this type of pain? There are no visible signs of what could be causing this. It hurts and I am a little sick of it.

I'm in my early 30s and have sex around once a week or so (so it's not through overuse). Don't drink, smoke, or do any drugs. Not on any new medications (I take Ritalin, same prescription for years).

Is there an anti-Viagra?

Anonymous — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 12:55:29 -0800

Drugs for trazodone-induced night-time priapisms? Or other drugs for sleep for which I probably won't develop a tolerance? (Somewhat NSFW.) I have been taking trazodone for a few months to help me sleep, and it works great, really given me a new lease on life. Unfortunately, it's also giving me erections while I sleep, which probably last for hours. I take 7.5 mg of trazodone when I go to bed, then another 7.5 when I wake up about five hours later, and that lets me sleep for another two hours or so. So any one erection in isolation probably isn't damaging, but over the last few weeks, I've been noticing an ache in my penis which is worst shortly after I wake up, just after the erection subsides, so I think that chronically, they are causing a problem. And the ache is getting worse. It's caused me noticeable discomfort for most of today.

I could go off the trazodone, but actually if I was forced to choose, I think I would rather sleep this well than maintain a functioning penis. So I'm looking for either a drug which will mitigate the erection (preferably just while sleeping) or another sleeping drug. But benzos and Lunesta don't do me any good at all.

What is Wrong with his Penis?

howgenerica — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 12:51:21 -0800

A friend of mine showed me his penis with some concern. I don't think it's anything, but there were two dark brown freckle-looking things on the tip that probably weren't there before, and he claims to feel strange. Does anyone have any idea what this could be, or if it could be something alarming? The freckles are just minor discolourations and are not raised. Thank you. Prompt responses are appreciated!

The Conquering Hero "Comes"

Anonymous — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 22:19:41 -0800

My girlfriend can't get me to orgasm. Plenty of NSFWness inside. My girlfriend and I have, in short, reached third base in our relationship: fingers, hands and tongues everywhere. No sex (yet). She's the female equivalent of Jizz In My Pants: she can get off from a gust of wind. OK, not really. But with minimal massaging I can get her to come in under a minute.

I'm not so easy. Before meeting this great girl, I had never been touched below the belt. So when my girlfriend's hands slowly went towards the groin...I felt ticklish and cracked up loudly...real smooth. Every time she tries again, I manage to smother my laughter, but I just don't get the thrill I expected. Dry hands hurt more than help, and saliva or blowjobbing makes it only slightly better. After a few minutes I get close, but I plateau there. Five minutes, she's ready to give up and I'm lying there apathetically.

Having satisfied myself with my hand for way too long, I'm worried I've desensitized myself to anything that's not me.

What's wrong? Is failure to orgasm normal for those who haven't experienced this stuff before? Is it fear? Excessive masturbation? What can I do?

Relevant side note: Peeing is laborious too. Even in an empty bathroom it takes me several minutes for me to start urinating.

NSFW - banged up my male organ...solutions.

Anonymous — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 08:47:45 -0800

NSFW - banged up my male organ...solutions... I went running in the cold and although I could feel the friction, I was in a groove and didn't realize I was hurting the tip of my penis so bad. It hurt like hell for the first couple days and has almost recovered expect I think normal wear and tear is preventing me from becoming 100%. Any creams/solutions/remedies? I assume this must happen from time to time to active males.

Penis Envy, My Ass: the photo

cheapskatebay — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 13:26:48 -0800

Please help me figure out how to contact a particular photographer to obtain duplicate images of a photo. NSFW We have a photo in our house that hangs over one of our toilets. It looks like this (image is NSFW):

NSFW link

The title is self-explanatory. It seems equally clear that the photographer's name is Marilyn Lee. (Perhaps she is the subject as well?)

My wife had this image on laminated newsprint when we were in college in North Carolina the early to mid-90s. It's possible, even probable, that the original print came from a newsweekly in Memphis, where she grew up. I seem to recall the original image being a "centerfold" of some sort - I think it was a numbered image that was presumably one of a series of such numbered images that appeared in the center of this local newspaper. Somewhere along the line we acquired a nice photo of the image, which we've framed, and we discarded her original laminated newsprint copy.

A large number of our female friends and relatives think this is a cool photo, and I'd like to be able to contact the photographer to obtain duplicates to give as gifts. (If anyone else can find the image without going through the photographer, that's fine, too!) I'd think this would be straightforward but my Google-fu has failed me.

Thanks!

A better shot at the G-spot

Anonymous — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 05:05:49 -0800

A NSFW question about a sexual practice. My girlfriend enjoys vaginal stimulation but not clitoral stimulation. She likes to sit astride me in coitus and move her hips back and forth. Naturally, I enjoy this a whole lot, too, and her orgasms are explosive. The trouble is, the motion gets pretty violent at times, and causes my erect penis to bend a lot. Afterwards, I sometimes experience mild pain deep in my penis, and this seems to be worsening with time. It never hurts while the penis is erect, but does afterward. I am worried that in time it will lead to Peyronie's disease or worse (warning: graphic images of penis surgery which made me nauseous.)

So unfortunately, it seems like we'll have to figure something else out. There are some obvious things to try (the same thing, but gentler, using fingers instead of a penis) but I thought the hive mind might be able to suggest some more innovative and enjoyable solutions.

Can you get a hickey on your penis?

Anonymous — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 11:14:32 -0800

Can you get a hickey on your penis from receiving (rough) oral sex? I'm a gay male and received oral sex Friday morning. The guy was quite rough, with the strongest...um....suction that I've ever felt, to the point of pain. This went on for about 5 minutes before I asked him to stop and we finished up just jerking off.

About 12 ours later I was in the shower and found a roughly 1.5 inch long discolored area on the top of the shaft of my penis. It was where I remembered the suction being the strongest. It looks exactly like a hickey on someones neck, like a big blackish-blueish bruise. Its not painful to the touch.

I had a full STD check about 6 weeks ago and came back clean. Prior to the oral sex there was no discoloration.

Is it possible to get a hickey on your penis? Should I go see a DR right-away-do-not-pass-go? Is it safe to wait awhile and see if it fades like a "normal" neck hickey?

Throwaway email at layoffmyjunk@gmail.com

Turgidity in Pornography

Greg Nog — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 13:44:27 -0800

In gay porn anal scenes, roughly what percentage of the time is the "bottom" flaccid versus fully erect?

Bump on junk has me worried. Doctor?

Anonymous — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 07:16:59 -0800

I have a small. hard bump on my penis. Due to my circumstances, I would have an extremely hard time seeing a doctor. Help? I guess something of comparable size is the ball of a ballpoint pen. It is under the skin, on top of my penis, near the base of the shaft. Because of my age (teen), I would have a very hard time seeing a doctor without my parents' knowledge or assistance. I do not want to bring this up to them.

I'm certain this isn't an STD because I've only had sex once before and it was both of our first times. This will almost certainly have an effect on my sex life which is just begging to become more regular.

1)Does anyone have any ideas that would assist me in taking care of this myself?
2) Is there some place (like a clinic?) I can go to a doctor anonymously and conveniently? (free is major bonus)

In L.A.

What biologically causes the pleasure associated with an orgasm?

WCityMike — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 17:46:54 -0800

What are the underlying processes occurring during an orgasm that are the biological causes of the pleasurable sensation we associate with it? Is the sensation of orgasm a function of the nervous system, or is it something neurochemical in the brain, or both, or neither? Is the reason that certain masturbatory and/or sexual acts feel good because of nerve concentration in the erogenous areas, or is it something different or more in nature? I'm primarily interested in answers relating to the male orgasm ... as I expect the male orgasm and the female orgasm may have different biological processes given the different anatomy?

And just to ward off any wisenheimers, I obviously understand the idea of Act A produces Obvious Biological Result B and Happy Sensation C. What I'm curious about is the underlying medical process behind that equation.

I'd like to explode, but can't.

Anonymous — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 11:28:28 -0800

I'm a man and I can't orgasm. What can I do to remedy this? I am a late 20's male who recently began having sex, and I am having a distressing problem. Namely, I can't achieve orgasm.

The first time my partner and I did it, I orgasmed, but since then, nothing.

I masturbated a lot through the years and have the feeling that this lies at the core of my problem. A vagina doesn't grip my penis as tightly as my hand does. I also masturbated without lotion or lube. Like a good boy, I've also been using condoms. As a result, the friction needed to make achieve orgasm isn't there.

Is there anything I can do to remedy this problem? Any techniques or toys that might get my penis more accustomed to the slippery looseness of a vagina? My partner assures me that her vagina is pretty tight.

If you need more details or want to e-mail me privately, please e-mail me at chronicmast at gmail dot com.

Thanks!

Men's Bathing Suits that Don't Reveal the Goods

Anonymous — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 13:47:01 -0800

Ok, my penis is small. When I get in a pool, then get out, my bathing suit suctions to my body making my private parts very obvious in their lack of size. Probably no one notices... or do they? What bathing suit or bathing suit style is best suited for a man that is less-than well-endowed?

Question about erection angles

Anonymous — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 05:38:00 -0800

I have a NSFW, but nevertheless clinical and sober, question about erection angles (question follows). I've long wondered about this, but it just now occurred to me to ask in here. Most of the penises I've seen (through straight porn) are sort of perpendicular to the body when erect. Sometimes there's a slight variation in the up or down direction, but not by much. In addition to this, many seem to have a very "flexible" base, allowing the erect penis to point in whatever direction might be appropriate at the time.

Now... mine's always gone straight *up*. Parallel with the body; staring me in the face, if you will. The base is very stiff, and doesn't permit me to bend much farther than about 30 degrees from my stomach.

This is just fine for missionary positions, but there are lots of options that it prohibits -- I can't do doggy-style, cowgirl, or basically anything else that requires that the penis be perpendicular to the body.

I guess my questions are...

1. How common is this? What's the average angle?

2. Are there any... solutions? What do others do in this situation?

I imagine a surgical operation might work, but it seems unlikely that it'd be worth the trouble. Is there any sort of stretching that might work?

I've never had any complaints, but it seems unfortunate to be limited in this way.

Why is my penis falling asleep?

drleary — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 16:40:26 -0800

Within the past 2 weeks or, I'll just be sitting around and my penis will fall asleep. This has never happened before to me, but it's happened at least 5 or 6 times now. Should I be worried? Is this something I should see a doctor for?

Too big for her?

cincinnatus c — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 13:58:04 -0800

Sex question: what to do about being "too big"? Could have done this anonymously, I suppose, but I'm asking on the spur of the moment and I can't take the delay.

Anyway, my girlfriend says that sometimes when we have sex I'm "too big", and this is seriously messing things up.

For what it's worth, I am not especially "big". It's the proper size, normal size, average or slightly above average. Some other girls I have slept with have said "that's big" but not one has said that it's the biggest... I mean, occasionally I've asked them about the biggest, and heard about serious freaks, but I am solidly in the average range.

But my girlfriend is quite petite, and I'm too big for her sometimes. To the extent that any position from behind is becoming out of the question - "it's like you're fucking my womb". This has happened before, with other people, it being slightly painful in certain shapes, but never to the extent that those shapes were out of the question.

But even the positions that are not out of the question become painful sometimes for my girlfriend, and it's getting in the way...

So my question is what to do about this? Are some bodies just incompatible? I thought about not going in completely, but that would be hard to maintain & besides would involve missing out on all kinds of extra, useful rubbing etc. Could lube help? I know you Americans are crazy about lube, but I've never used it, no one I know has, & always thought it had something to with circumcision in a way. Can it help with length? Can it stop the "fucking my womb" feeling?

Penis curvature worth getting bent out of shape over?

Anonymous — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 18:32:07 -0800

My penis curves laterally. Will this make penetrative sex difficult? Is there anything I should know? I'm a virgin, and while it's not something that keeps me up at night, I'm curious whether the curvature of my member will cause me any problems in bed.

I don't recall any trauma, though I was circumcised at a late age. It's never caused me any pain, nor have I had any difficulty getting or maintaining an erection. It's had the same curvature as long as I can remember, so it doesn't appear to be getting more or less pronounced.

Here is a traced over picture, as viewed from above (you can imagine the hand as laying on a table with the camera immediately above it, the curvature being confined to a plane parallel to the table). Here is another. Googling yields terms like Peyronie's Disease, which seems to involve more abrupt kinks.

While I'm pretty sure it won't prevent intercourse, I'm wondering if it won't hinder matters. First hand experience (ahem) would be particularly appreciated.

Anonymous responses can be sent to: anon12346@footard.com

How to treat Frenulum breve

Anonymous — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 19:18:35 -0800

Penis problem: Frenulum breve to be exact. Or in simpler terms, problem retracting the foreskin due to the band of tissue under the glans of the penis is too short. I want it fixed; due to the area I’m a bit worried about going about it in the wrong way. What should I be thinking of? What kind of operation, what kind of follow up treatment and what expectations should I have? Personal experiences or general advice much appreciated.