Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with partner

Business Partner

yoyo_nyc — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 13:00:35 -0800

Where can I find a business partner for a start-up? Any suggestions? I am looking for a partner and he will get an equity share. He won't get paid (at the beginning). I just realize that I can't pull my business off alone, at least not in the US. It is not an web/internet business, let's call it for now a dietary supplement business/life style business. I will soon ship the first 30.000 Units to Europe but have not made much progress in the US.

Any idea where to look? I would be interested in someone with marketing skills, contacts to distributes etc. Since I am not American, I guess he should be.

Has anyone tried something like this?
http://www.partnerup.com/

Do you know other sites like this? What else could I try? Entrepreneurial meetings at meetup.com ?

Yoyo

Adsense Nonsense

man down under — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 19:58:31 -0800

How come Adsense revenue is so random? I've recently joined the YouTube partnership program and as such have started to have some pennies trickle in. ($16 so far...retirement here I come!)

I've noticed that the amount I earn is seemingly unrelated to page impressions, click thru and all that jazz. I mean it obviously influences it, but not in any consistent way.

Today for example I made about 50c for 1200 page impressions and one click (KERCHING!) but a couple of days ago I had nearly 1500 impressions, a whopping 4 clicks and less bang for my buck - only 35c.

What gives? What's the hidden factor?

If you want me, I'll be at the airport polishing the new private jet...

I like not catching colds, but I also like kissing my wife

ManInSuit — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 19:42:13 -0800

If your spouse catches a cold, how likely are you to catch it from them? When your spouse gets a cold, what, if anything, do you do to avoid catching that cold, and why?

I wonder about this every time Mrs ManInSuit gets sick. I want to be nice to her, and enjoy her company. I also don’t want to get that cold. I wish I had a better sense of what the real risks are. So, say your spouse starts having cold symptoms (and you don’t have any). Here are some imagined possibilities of what that means:

Imagined Possibility #1 – By the time your spouse shows symptoms, you’ve already been exposed like crazy to their cold. If you haven’t caught it by now, it means you’re immune to that particular strain. So, like, don’t worry about it.

Imagined Possibility #2 – The fact that haven’t caught your spouse’s cold so far just just means you’ve been very lucky. If you want to avoid that cold, you should start being careful: keep your distance, don’t share cutlery, wash your hands a lot, etc. Otherwise, you’re pretty likely to get that cold.

Imagined Possibility #3 – Cold transmission is a pretty unpredictable and unreliable thing. For each day you spend with your spouse, there’s a chance you’ll get sick. But even if you’re totally incautious, the odds are you still won’t get that cold.

Can anyone shed light on which, if any, of these are most accurate. I suspect the truth is some complicated combination or in-between of all the above, but I’d like whatever insights the green might offer. Insights backed with reliable scientific sources or expertise are epecially helpful...

I need advice on what to tell my partner.....

Anonymous — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 13:06:59 -0800

I need advice on what to tell my partner..... After having unprotected sex (no condom, we got tested (negative std tests)) for a few weeks with my partner (we have been dating for less than 4 months) I now feel after doing so, that it was too soon in our relationship for me. I want to go back to using a rubber. How would this look to you if your partner told you that?

Is this going to fix itself, or what?

molybdenumblue — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 17:08:48 -0800

Help me understand/encourage my seemingly unambitious boyfriend. Boy and I have been together for two years now. We are both in our mid-twenties. We have a very happy, mutually supportive relationship; I have helped him through some very difficult times in the past, and he is now helping me with living expenses while I complete a second bachelor's degree. We communicate well, and I think he is a good person with a fine brain.

He has his high school diploma (worth noting that his sister and half brother both failed to complete high school) and attended a couple semesters of junior college before he failed out because he stopped going to classes (this was when he was 19 or so). His life went off the rails for a while after that when he developed a chronic health condition and experienced economic hardship, but he now has a job in a distribution warehouse with a reasonable living wage and good benefits.

I have encouraged him to look into going back to school, but he seems very hesitant. I went with him to our local community college (where I've had good experiences myself) and walked him through the process of applying, financial aid, etc. I suggested he register for just one or two classes at first to build confidence, and offered my academic help (I work part-time as a tutor at the college level). The expenses are very affordable, he would be able to continue working full-time, and his employer even offers tuition reimbursement.

He still hasn't taken any action on it, though. He admits that he feels anxious and worries about letting me down. I have very little doubt that he would be successful, but I don't want to push him into it before he is emotionally ready. On the other hand, he tends to take a long time to get moving on things even when he wants to do them. This isn't a deal breaker for me, but I think some higher education would be good for Boy both economically and intellectually, and I find it hard to accept that manual labor and video games are his self-actualization. He says he wants more, but doesn't seem to have a clear plan or feel any urgency about making it happen.

Can you identify with him? Did you move on, and if so, what made it happen? Should I push, encourage, chill out and back off? Should I just accept that this is him? What would your advice be to him? To me?

Is there really lasting love at first sight?

Anonymous — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 05:17:41 -0800

How did you know getting engaged impulsively was a good idea? I met this wonderful woman a few months ago. I am 24 and she is 21 were both about to finish our BA's this winter. I feel like I have found something unique and special in this girl and could see myself being with her a long time. It has been four months, but that "so happy I'm going to puke because the butterflies won't stop flapping" does not ever stop. Our relationship feels like it is beyond gut level infatuation; we are compatible on so many levels that I doubt that I will ever find this mix in a single person again.

We have both dated and had our hearts broken. I dated a woman for 4 years and we were dead pragmatic about the idea of getting married. We had the logistics down, but the real gut level part of it just was not there.

I know is snark bait, and I am not interested in people telling me how naive I am. I understand marriage is an economic contract with the state and not a love certificate. I am asking partly because we had discussed how we both kind of like the fun of long engagements. In addition, she is in Paris for this quarter and I would like to surprise her by proposing to her in Paris. Neither of us have any interest in eloping.

What I am interested in are stories of people who found each other and quickly decided that they had found someone whom they wanted to share their life. I would like to hear both from MeFites who found this to be the best or worst decision of their life. How did you know this would be a good idea? Was it a good idea? Any anecdotes about quick engagements or marriages are welcome. In particular, I would love to hear stories about couples who ended up staying together for decades.

Should I move out of boyfriend's, and into best friend's?

Elysum — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 00:08:16 -0800

How bad a faux pas would it be to move out of a (multi-person) shared house with a new but lovely boyfriend, and into my best friend's house instead? A FWB, became a housemate, and in the last few months, a boyfriend. Despite some initial confusion, everything seems to be going really well.

But. A room has finally come open in my best friend's house.
Best friend... sounds so highschool?
This is the person I would most like to hang with, travel with, live with, and according to the old saw, accompany to move bodies with etc (I don't find the last one very funny :( ).

So, exactly how bad would you consider it to have a new partner want to move out, and go live with their best friend & several other friends, instead?

To explain, in my shiny happy world, I'm all 'Yay! Friends!', my first thought is that I would understand if he felt the same situation. Let's just assume I have some-times socialisation problems, in a slightly 'aspie' happy-shiny world kinda way, and I often don't realise the social implications and consequences of certain actions, until they are explained to me in small (or big) words, at which point I can take them into account.

I have a sinking feeling this might be one of those situations. Rather than getting into a mess -
I was just going to ask/tell him directly, but I'm worried it might be one of those sorts of situations where someone would say "Sure, do whatever you need to do" even if they didn't feel that way, and put a brave face on it.

And if so, if I just try to feel out they'd feel about it, if were hurt by the idea then they may not be able to explain it in the best/clearest of ways?

And therefore, I'd appreciate a gauge of opinions?

Fizzled Out on Passion

divabat — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 02:36:41 -0800

Depression has knocked my passion (for everything) out. Gwargh. What do I do while I get therapy sorted? I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety for about six years, and have been on and off treatment for that time. Last year (after about 3 years of being treatment-free) I had a bad relapse and went back on medication (Effexor XR) and counseling. They helped, and I was getting better, but recently I had a big setback and never managed to recover properly.

I've found that this wave of depression has robbed me of the ability to feel passionate about everything. I was once really passionate about changing the world (in various ways), and was invited to an exclusive summit last week for 100 other young passionate people. I felt like a dullard next to them - I didn't feel like I had anything of substance, and at one point I sat alone in a room crying and declaring that "I'm done". Surprisingly, even though my only contribution was wise-cracks in lectures and a Thank-You card for the organizers, the rest of the group accepted me wholeheartedly and felt that I was one of the most memorable people in the whole summit.

After I came back from that summit, my boyfriend and I went on a weekend vacation, but I couldn't muster any sort of enjoyment whatsoever. My boyfriend's showing me so much affection and love and care, and all I could do is go "meh". This got worse in the following week, and I felt really guilty that I couldn't feel as much love for him as he obviously does for me. (According to the Triangular Theory of Love, the companionship and intimacy is strong, but the passion's gone missing).

For a while I felt like I was holding him back, that I wasn't the best person for him, even offered to find him someone else that could treat him better. In all other respects, our relationship is actually going great - we communicate well, we deal with ups and downs maturely, we respect and care for each other deeply. I just am an emotional wreck, and I didn't want him to suffer because of that. Nonetheless, he still insists that he loves me, and that he doesn't mind the lack of emotional passion. (For example, I like cuddles and embraces, but felt guilty that I was being selfish and not bursting out with love for him. He told me not to worry because he didn't find it selfish at all.) It's good, I guess, but I still can't help but feel guilty that the only emotional response I can muster to anything is "blaaaaaaah".

I went to see a GP (my regular one was away) and made appointments with my usual counselor. It's two weeks away though, so I have some down time. I have work placements this uni semester (my last!!) and I'm still waiting for those to be sorted out so I've got nothing to do for a while. I'm already wallowing away in sorrow and despair, and find it hard to do stuff - I'd rather nap all day (and indeed do sleep a lot) and it takes a lot of effort to make myself shower or prepare a meal. I have things I could do, but I'm too lethargic and bored to do anything other than think about them. My boyfriend and I are also looking at relationship counselling to see how else we can deal with my depression - we're talked out and we're out of ideas.

How can I cope with the lack of passion and energy? Should I feel guilty for not being as romantically inclined towards my boyfriend? What about my current apathy towards making a difference, when I once was such a passionate worldchanger? What can I do in these two weeks (until my counselor appointment) so that I don't drag myself down into further despair and actually feel better?

(I'm doing a little better now as I write this, but my moods change so quickly and intensely that I'd rather have some practical ideas for when I get another "sad attack". Also, I've found lots of relationship questions about dealing with a depressed partner, but not much about being the depressed partner itself.)

Human particles in a (happy) box

lalochezia — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 09:34:31 -0800

When you moved to live with your partner, or your partner moved to live with you, what helped set the groundwork for a lasting, strong and wonderful relationship? What missteps would you try and avoid? My fiancee moves to live with me today! (Yay!). I know number one in all the relationship advice is communicate, communicate communicate: we plan on doing this heartily.

What other pieces of advice, either practical, philosophical or whimsical would you offer for people living together. Links acceptable. This is a somewhat open ended and broad q, so, if possible, focus on the living together part. I've seen these qs 1,2: more advice please!

He's Not My Brother, Dammit.

[NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 21:46:10 -0800

How to tactfully respond when people comment that my partner and I look like "brothers"? We are both lily-white twenty-somethings with an at-times overlapping fashion sense, and that's about where it ends. I'm several inches taller, different hair and eye color, different bone structure, etc. etc. than my partner. But often, in fact several times this week, people have asked if we're brothers or commented that we look like brothers or "twins." Sometimes this comes from people who KNOW we're partners, other times they are just strangers commenting. Often it is older people, but not always.

This bothers me for several reasons:

1. We really believe we don't look alike.

2. I feel acute vicarious embarrassment for the person when I have to explain that we're not related, because...

3. ...I think that's an offensive (or at least loaded) thing to say to a couple, and something that most people would NEVER say to a straight couple. (When a male/female couple look uncannily similar, I've found people say they "fit together" instead.) It implies that this is part of our attraction to each other, and taps into an image of the narcissistic or incestuous homosexual that I feel is inappropriate and inaccurate in this case. From the beginning, we have always noticed and loved our differences.

Here's a photo if you really must see (plus stepmother-in-law). But please limit your advice to dealing with the situation at hand; chiming in how alike we really may look to you isn't helpful (see 1, 2, 3 above).

What can I do to defuse these situations, for the sake of all involved?

Mid forties male, no libido. What now?

lndl — Tue, 06 May 2008 01:45:46 -0800

I seem to have lost all my libido (sex-drive). Mid-forties male, not health related. Advice? More details inside. OK, synopsis:
I'm 45 yo male. I just got engaged to my girlfriend of some years, who is absolutely the one for me.
The last 6 months have been rough though.
1st I had to take a work stress related break from work (never happened before). My mother is terminally ill. I've also now just been made redundant at work. I was also in a car crash, though not injured. As a consequence of these and other issues I'm seeing a therapist to try to see how to find my way forward and understand myself better.

On the positive side I have an understanding, supportive (sexy) partner, I'm exceptionally fit as I'm training 2/3 hours a day for a world class endurance sport event and look like a guy in his mid 30's. I eat well, sleep ok, don't drink or smoke, I'm well educated, read a lot and have a very inquiring mind.
(Sorry if all this sounds arrogant, it's not meant to be, just heading off possible discussion diversions).

But in the last 6 months my libido has completely disappeared. I'm not talking about erectile dysfunction but actual interest in sex (not even masturbation). I didn't worry about it for a while but I am starting to now.

Yes it seems it could all be explained by everything going on in my soap opera life at the moment but I haven't really discussed it with my therapist yet (not deliberately, just other things were even more important), but I'm worried that it might be "gone".
While this wouldn't be a problem for me if I was single if I didn't care , it will eventually become a problem for us a couple. Any advice?

I don't want to do business with you

Anonymous — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 18:16:56 -0800

How to graciously end a soon to be partnership. I ran into a friend about 2 weeks ago and he had an idea for an online business. He told me about it and wanted some advice. I went through some basics with him, and he asked if I would be able to work on it, I told him that I would but it would definitely cost him. I really wasn't too interested at this point, so I told him I would get back to him with some more info and I changed the topic of discussion.

Fast forward a few days later, I sent him an email with some in depth information (as a favor) and I subsequently met up with him later and he was like, "how about we work as a team. 50/50 down the line" I did something stupid and told him it sounded like a good idea...I definitely should have told him that I would get back to him.

Here's the problem, I don't particularly want to work with him. The idea isn't bad but something in my gut says, STOP! DON'T DO IT. Some of the reasons why I don't want to work with him:

1) I will be doing most of the work. We've played it off and thought happy thoughts about sharing the workload evenly but I KNOW that I will be doing most of it.

2) A lot of it is in my hands. The execution, the implementation, the experience. And I semi-feel that he wants me to be his partner to mooch this stuff out of me.

3) We're friends and have been for years. We're not really close.

4) He kind of annoys me now. Like always. I don't know how to explain it.

ANYWAY, please help me graciously get out of this arrangement. Nothing legally has been done and so far it has stayed verbal.

why do people work out together?

krautland — Sat, 22 Sep 2007 18:45:32 -0800

why do people work out together? I'm trying to convince my buddy to start running with me. he currently runs alone with his ipod and so do I but we are at similar levels and I think we could push each other all the more. I need arguments to get him to try this out. so why is working out together better than doing this alone? what are you missing out on by going it alone?

Partner vs family. Let the battle commence.

aprivateperson — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 08:36:11 -0800

In a nutshell, my fiancee hates my family. Through a series of snubs and impoliteness (by her definition, not mine), my fiancee has come to hate my family. In particular, my sisters. I'm not that close to them, but I don't want them out of my life either by a long stretch. And she doesn't care for most of my friends either, the online ones in particular.

The latest spat has come about because my sister mentioned that there was a job in a different part of the country, which my fiancee took to meaning that she was trying to interfere in the relationship, and take me away from the area that she loves and the house we live in.

The one before that, she refused to spend Christmas with them even though it was "our" turn to spend Christmas with them (she having insisted that we spend Christmas with her family last year). So I spent Christmas with my family, she spent Christmas with hers in tears and it's been various forms of drama ever since.

While I can see her point of view and can understand why she might feel snubbed etc., I feel that the "punishment" she has dished out - she doesn't ever want to see them, invite them to any wedding etc. - is OTT.

The trouble is, I love her. She loves me. I've never felt more at home and comfortable with anyone else when things are going well. And then my sister or a disliked friend will call or email, and then the fireworks fly.

So how do you decide which is more important? I think the two are equally important, but maybe I'm wrong here.

(btw, do you let your partner read your email?)

For fact fans: both in our early/mid-30s, engaged, met two years ago, engaged 14 months ago, I moved in with her (cross-country)7 months ago, not set a date.

Evil Partner

Anonymous — Sat, 20 Jan 2007 07:25:48 -0800

How do I deal with a business partnership dissolution that is rapidly getting incredibly ugly? (Both emotionally and legally.) Two years ago, I bought 20% of a business (corp) from the then-only owner. Over the past six months, her behavior to me and the employees became increasingly erratic and verbally abusive. I chose to end the partnership, consistent with the terms of our contract, which states that she must repurchase my shares.

Because I felt that it might smooth the process, and I wanted to encourage her to pay me via a lump-sum rather than over the 10 years allowd by the contract, I asked her to make me an offer.

Well, her offer just came through and it's for less than half of what I originally paid. Moreover, her offer includes veiled accusations of financial malfeasance on my part, and veiled threats. All of this is complete crap, which I can substantiate. She's also alleged that I reduced the value of the company (despite the fact that an independent appraiser disagreed).

I hate this woman. I am burning with anger. I want to make her life as difficult as possible, legally of course. On the other hand, I realize for my personal sake, I would be better off behaving professionally and letting my representative (family attorney, unfortunately not licensed in my state but well able to negotiate on my behalf and help me avoid litigation) negotiate with hers.

In the meantime, though, I supposedly have a week and a half more of work, wrapping up projects and ensuring a smooth transition. I am not going to be able to be in the same room with this person, let alone work with her, primarily because she impugned my ethics-- I already knew she was greedy and a bitch.

What do I do? If she's going to end up giving me nothing (or virtually nothing), why should I make this transition smooth? On the other hand, I would like to receive my last paycheck. And, how do I get out of this without having a nervous breakdown? I can't sleep (been up since 4), eat, or relax.

Help! I realize there are a couple of issues here-- the legal partnership issues are being dealt with, I think, but I am concerned about slander as well, if she tells people these lies about me it could significantly damage me. I feel like I am being blackmailed, to be honest. (Note the numbers here are fairly small, in the 10-30k range, so litigation is really to be avoided.)

But...what do I do? How do I deal?

How do i get my partner to get a job?

Nik_Doof — Tue, 17 Oct 2006 23:38:49 -0800

How do i get my partner to get a job? I'm in full time work, shes a masters student. Over the last year or so i've really struggled to make ends meet, late bills, final reminders, all capped off with actual debt collectors turning up at my door demanding payment. I've worked out our outgoings and its alot more than our income.

I've previously brought up the idea of my partner getting a job between her studies, which has either been met by her saying she is looking or shouting at me mentioning she doesn't have the time to get a job.

Shes worked in the last 3 years, while a student, but has never been willing to keep on going, shes always resigned or walked out for one reason or another always less than a month of starting there, she then lies to her parents about her current work status.

How can I actively encourage my partner to work again and help out with the bills, would an ultimatum be too much? "You have to get a job as we can't afford this house otherwise"

Help me mefi!

Do Goal Buddies Work?

clairezulkey — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 14:27:29 -0800

I've often read that the way writers can maintain their momentum is to get a 'goal buddy,' someone you'd meet with or talk to once a week so you can encourage each other and kick each other in the butt and give advice. Have any of you done this? Has it worked for you? What was the secret to staying on topic and staying motivated/focused instead of getting distracted and talking about gossip/family or general complaining?

help me get a fair shake.

stormygrey — Thu, 28 Sep 2006 06:11:39 -0800

I am leaving my fiancee, we bought a house together a year and a half ago. What kind of property rights do I have? So I finally did it, it was a long time coming and I should have done it before there was so much involved.

We live in Atlanta. We have 1 big old house, two big home equity loans (that have financed our vehicles) and the deed to my truck jointly owned.

We had a written agreement, that he took the equity in the house plus all obligations for the home equity loans and the income from the rental unit and I got my truck free and clear. Then we went into all the details of books and cats and whatnot.

However, he destroyed it "cause no one is going anywhere" threw the dining room table and various smaller items, called me everyname in the book, got in my face, whatever. (BTW, I have two jobs so when I was away on buisness or tending the bar he was having all manner of person over from the casual connections or whatever section of lavalife)

So what are my options? I need to get my name off the house soon because I envision one long drinking binge on his part till he loses his job and probably the house.

How do I get the intimacy back?

Anonymous — Sat, 04 Mar 2006 12:21:09 -0800

I've been going out with my partner for almost 5 years, about 2 1/2 years ago she told me she'd been sexually abused as a child. I've supported her through her counselling and depression ever since, ironically she wouldn't have been able to unpack a lot of her issues without the safe enviroment I've provided for her for the first time. I'm in counselling myself, my partner pursuaded me that I needed some help to keep myself standing, and it has really helped. But I'm starting to loose hope that things are ever going to be better again. We haven't had sex in about 3 years, bar a few times when she was drunk enough to be relaxed about it, which didn't exactly make me feel very good about things. She says she's making progress in her counselling but I have trouble seeing the evidence in her behaviour.

My question to people who've gone through this, do people and relationships recover from this and how did you survive the process? How did you go about starting to make sex ok again as opposed to a huge issue? I'm just looking for a few words of wisdom to help keep the faith that things will get better.

Where can I find a partner for my business?

jbb7 — Sun, 26 Feb 2006 14:35:17 -0800

Where can I find a partner to help me build a business based on a Web service? I'm 18, I'm not going to be in college for at least a year, and I can fund the venture for 6+ months out-of-pocket. But the programming is far too much work for just one person. The business is the kind that requires a few servers, some programming, and some marketing--it doesn't require much money to bootstrap.

I've been working very hard on it since the end of November, but if I continued working alone, it'd take until mid-July or later until I even had a working prototype. I firmly believe in the idea, but I just don't see myself being able to do all of the work alone. (Though I have the technical skills, it's just too much work.)

None of my friends are tech people, and nobody at my high school does much programming. I've also searched for 2 months through acquaintances, to no avail.

So, how can I find other people to help me who are of a similar age and whom I live near? Does anyone have any experience starting a business like this with a partner who wasn't already a friend? Should I look for an employee rather than a partner (i.e., pay a salary instead of share a stake in the business)? Should I cast a wide net and look to team up with somebody who lives somewhere else in the U.S. ? (I'm in Chicago.) Has anyone had experience starting a Web-based business with someone whom they haven't even met in person?

Footnote: I realize the whole teen-starts-Web-business thing is a cliché, and this thing could totally crash and burn. I'm more interested in advice relating to my search for a partner--but don't worry, I have no irrational illusions that this business will bring incredible success. I only know that it's a fun project and a good learning experience.

Footnote 2: I applied to Paul Graham's Y Combinator Summer Founders' Program, but they turned me down (and my having no partner was likely a big part of their reason).

Bad Business Partner Driving Me Nuts

libertaduno — Mon, 02 Jan 2006 15:08:30 -0800

Two years ago I let a really good friend cheaply buy into a business I had started a couple years earlier with the agreement that we would split everything, work & profits, right down the middle. He is stubbornly refusing to do his share of the work yet wants to keep collecting 50% of the profits. What do I do? Case in point I asked him 4 months ago to attend to a serious financial problem under his area of responsibility. The first time his response was appropriate. In the following months he simply ignored my polite inquiries. A half-dozen examples of this pattern come to my mind easily.

When I confront him he uses many redirection tactics all of which boil down to he simply will not do anything but what he feels like doing.

Also, he shows up to work between 10:30AM and 3PM daily, if he shows up and tails off early-ish. He spends unusual amounts of work time (business hours) away from the workplace not working or dedicating excessive amounts of time to one of his areas of responsibility, to the detriment of others that are probably less pleasant for him (such as dealing with clients) but are just as important. Each of us has "storefront" and "backoffice" responsibilities so the load is balanced.

I have tried approaching him nicely, I have tried approaching him rudely, I have tried leaving him alone, I have tried offering him many different means of coming to agreement or a compromise but the end result is stony silence, stubborn refusal to discuss anything in a serious way and me taking on more and more of his responsibilities for the same pay.

The business is my baby and my living and is otherwise doing well. This problem is negatively impacting it and is a serious shadow hanging over the business, me and my family. Please help!

Help me make a good impression on my partner's mother

aebaxter — Sun, 06 Nov 2005 20:03:04 -0800

Help me make a good impression on my partner's mother, even though she doesn't know I'm her daughter's partner. My partner is graduating from college on December 10th. Her mother, who I’ve only met once (in passing, at an airport while she had a flight layover), is coming to stay with us for several days before and after the graduation ceremony. She currently believes I am only her daughter's roommate, so I need advice on how to make a good impression as a person, not as a partner.

The background: my girlfriend is not out to her family for various (and very compelling) reasons, including financial dependency. I am fine with this decision and this is not a point of contention in our relationship. Advice of the “why doesn’t she just come out already?” variety is not necessary. I just want some general tips on how I can carry on respectful, interested conversations with her mother, and show that I care about her daughter without sounding as though I’m asking for her hand in marriage or interviewing for the position. I hope to lay the groundwork for the day she does find out I’m involved with her daughter by coming across as friendly, mature and responsible, I’m just not quite sure how to convey these qualities to her without being awkward.

it's over, it's over, it's over... is it?

Anonymous — Wed, 11 May 2005 06:16:28 -0800

How do you know your relationship is worth fighting for? Or, how do you know when to call it quits? We've been dating a year. He's there, I'm here, about 1/2 of it has been long distance. We'd both been having thoughts that the relationship wasn't working that well, but with the distance and stress of finals, I just figured we'd work it out this summer when we'd be together, working in another city.

Then one night a few weeks ago, he pounced and said that we need to talk about our relationship before the summer. It was horrible timing: my own finals had just started, his were a few weeks away, and we had agreed that no relationship talks would happen over the phone. That night we broke up, but we've kind of peeled back to say that "we'll talk about it when I get up there." I'm going to see him soon. The shock of it all has settled down a bit, but I have been crying for most of the past two weeks, and I don't really want that to happen the entire time I'm with him.

I have a feeling that if one of us says that we want to work it out for the summer, the other will go for it, at least to see how it goes. I have no idea if he's going to say that, but I'm trying to figure out what I personally want to happen. So my question to you, dear MeFites, is: how do you know that it's over? If you have to ask that question, does that give you the answer? Or, is the first breakup of a long distance relationship something to work through, if a summer together might help things? This was my first serious relationship - the first one that I really cared deeply about and whether or not it ends. What advice can you give me? We both still really care about each other, but I'm unclear how to go from here. This is absolutely wrenching my heart around, and I think my finals have suffered already - if the relationship can be patched up, maybe it will be worth it. What do you ask yourself to figure out what you really want? I usually have a sense of intuition stronger than magnetic north, but this time I feel like I'm totally floundering.

Partner referral tracking application?

yerfatma — Thu, 10 Feb 2005 11:41:45 -0800

Name that application: a client is looking to move their partner referral tracking online and I would like to avoid hand-coding a solution for various reasons. But I'm having trouble finding suitable "boxed" solutions as most Google results are for "referral tracking" of the spamish kind. Detailed description inside. This application would be accept leads from partners (where a "partner" can be anyone online, but there are multiple levels of partners) through an online form. The client assigns the lead to a sales guy, chases it down, updates the status. If the status is a new account, the referrer gets compensated. Because the compensation could exceed US$600 annually, the system also needs to accept W9 info (which is why I'd really like to see an ASP solution if at all possible) and generate 1099s at the end of the year.

Additionally, the tool should allow all partners to login and view the status of their referrals, compensation history, etc.

How many previous sexual partners are the norm?

Anonymous — Wed, 13 Oct 2004 11:29:50 -0800

What's a "normal" number of previous sexual partners to have had? Or, more to the point, if I can count mine on one hand with some leftover fingers, does it make any sense to be a little freaked out by dating someone who can't put an exact number on his?