Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with parties

What should I serve as dessert after a heavy risotto dinner?

angryjellybean — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 07:13:55 -0800

What should I serve as dessert after a heavy risotto dinner? I'm making vegetables stuffed with risotto and roasted, which will be quite filling and heavy. I want to make a dessert that's quite light and sweet, and most importantly, can be made quite quickly/easily and preferably the night before (although I don't mind whether it should be served cold or can be reheated to hot).

I've seen a few suggestions online for rhubarb crumble/compote/sorbet, but anything else interesting would be much appreciated!

Help me avoid having the Dallas club experience while I'm in Vancouver

Unicorn on the cob — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 08:45:10 -0800

Techno in Vancouver? Is there such a thing? If no techno, how about a really good blues bar? Help me find it before September 6. I'm about to be in Vancouver for a week (returning to US September 6). My mother is coming along; she likes live blues, I like techno. When I say techno, I don't mean remixes of top 40 music, I mean stuff like The Black Dog, Heartthrob, Drexciya, Rob Hood, Cybotron, that sort of thing. I also like tech-house and electro, even DnB, but kind of can't stand vocal or deep house or bad dubstep being drowned out by a crappy MC.

I see that Mark Farina is playing while I'm there, and that Lotus might be a good venue. But all the club listings look like they do here in Dallas; there's a lot of hype talk on flyers and all-caps Twittering, but I can't tell crap about the sound system or what style of music the djs play there. I don't care about the crowd or how much it costs to get in; I want a good sound system and a bar where I can get a decent drink without waiting 45 minutes or ordering bottle service for a few hundred just to sit down.

Alternatively, I'd also like to know what DJs to look for by name or if there are underground parties (I see there is an afterhours scene there too).

If there's none of that to be had, a dive bar with a jukebox would be just great. I'm not super-picky, but I don't want to pay $30 to go into a place that sucks, you know?

My mom would like a place where we can sit and hear local blues musicians play, or at least hear blues and jazz of some kind if it's not live and possibly eat dinner.

If anyone has suggestions on how I should dress for going out fashionably in Van, it'd be welcome, too; I see that "dress code" is listed on some clubs' pages. I'm sort of the anti-jeans and tshirt girl to begin with; I'm just trying to avoid being gauche, I suppose.

We will be staying near Robson and Granville.

Shout-out, Vancouver MeFites! If you see this and want to meet up, MeMail me. I won't have my laptop but I'll have my Blackberry which is always reliable for hitting up MeFi. :) I'll be wearing my Metafilter shirt at least once, so if you see a super-short girl walking down the street with one on, it might be me. Say hi!

Why, yes, I'd love a free meal!

venividivici — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 04:08:55 -0800

When someone invites you to dinner or a party at their house, is there a tactful way to indicate that you can't bring anything, or to prevent them from asking? I've recently moved to a new town (in northern England) for about 9 months in order to finish up the field work for my dissertation. The people here have been incredibly kind and really "taken me in," particularly since I didn't know a soul when I moved here. They're constantly inviting me over for tea, dinners, parties on the weekends, etc., and all my fears about having no social life pretty much vanished by the end of the second week.

The problem, however, is that I'm absolutely, utterly broke -- fellowships and grants pay my rent and bills and leave me with only $60 a month for food (yes, that's dollars, not pounds, alas) if I'm lucky. I feel very uneasy, not to mention rude, that I can't reciprocate for these people. It's also extremely embarrassing to go to a party and watch everyone file in, dutifully handing over their flowers and bottles of wine, while knowing that I'm the only person in the room who hasn't done the same. So far, I've settled the issue by writing thank-you notes/cards afterwards, and this has worked well. Many have said what a joy it is to get a real, handwritten thank-you note in this day and age.

The problem now, however, is that when people invite me over, sometimes they will casually ask me to bring drinks or dessert or an appetizer. I'm sure it's never occurred to them (most are quite well off) that doing so would force me to blow 20% of my food budget on one evening, and that I'd have to skip meals at the end of the month to make up for it. I don't want to be vulgar by discussing money with people who are, in effect, no more than acquaintances -- and unfortunately I don't have a close friend here that I could use to spread the word on my behalf. But the situation now isn't working, and I get the strong feeling from several people that my constantly showing up empty-handed is coming off a bit rude. Which, really, it is.

A friend this weekend planned a big, lavish dinner for Saturday night and off-handedly said over the phone, "Can you bring over some Ben & Jerry's?" and after a pause I simply said, "No, I'm sorry. I can't." Extremely awkward silence ensued, of course. But isn't that far less awkward than telling these people (who, after all, barely know me) that I really am this broke? I don't know a tactful way to say, "I really appreciate everything you're doing for me, but if you're going to give a starving student a free meal, it really has to be completely and totally free, because otherwise I'm going to have to start lying and saying I'm busy."

I've mentioned to most of them, in other contexts, that I'm living on a very tight budget, and I'm sure this is why so many people are inviting me over. They're very kind people and I'm grateful. But they clearly don't understand the intensity of graduate student poverty, and it's getting awkward.

We're not friends, please stop talking to me.

sio42 — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 12:20:30 -0800

"Please excuse me...No really, don't follow me, I don't want to talk to you." How do I politely get out of having to converse with someone I was friends with for a long, long time but am no longer? Person is inconsiderate, dismissive, and generally a bitch who thinks she's funny when she says mean things. All of the above being reasons I'm not friends with her anymore.

A mutual friend (Susan) has invited crazy lady (Lily) to her wedding and shower out of a feeling of obligation, since in better days, we were both in Lily's wedding. Just to be clear, Lily is NOT in the wedding party, there is not a wedding party.

Susan and I haven't talked to Lily for over a year. Susan stopped being an all-the-time friend quite some time ago for much the same reasons I only came to realize a few years ago. Susan has not talked to Lily in the past year due to lifestyle decisions Lily was making that Susan just could not be around.

So Lily will be at the shower and the wedding (we guess, havne't gotten RSVP back yet). Susan is not inviting anyone else that Lily knows, except me. Lily has taken it upon herself to let Susan know that certain people havne't rec'd invitations to the shower and wedding and maybe Susan "didn't have the right address". (yes, yes, please roll your eyes.)

I am more than willing to be nice to her in public, but I do not wish to give the impression I wish to rekindle our friendship. I know that I cannot control other people's actions. However, I know that she will come up to me and say her typical rude, sarcastic things and I just don't want to deal with it.

How many times can I say "Excuse me." and walk away? What if she follows me around? I would not put it past her to start telling everyone who will listen that I "ditched her" for my boyfriend. (I got a job after college which took me a neighboring city, which happend to be where my boyfriend lived.) Which is what she kept saying about Susan when she stopped hanging so much. And what she says about anyone who gets a life not centered around Lily. After years of listening to her bitch about her/our friends to me, I can only imagine what she has been saying about me.

She has said really hurtful things to me in the past and been incredibly inconsiderate. I don't want to be a bitch to her at all, but she's a drinker and she tends to get even more inconsiderate when drinking. She thinks she's being funny.

I just feel sorry for her. I realize her life hasn't turned out like she wanted to. But she was like this long before she got married and had babies.

Oh yeah, and she's pregnant again (which apparently was not planned and which Susan didn't know about when she sent the invite). So she'll probably be drinking at these events. All the time proseletyzing about it's ok to drink after the 1st trimester. Which while true (in moderation of course, a glass of wine here and there is ok), showers and weddings aren't the place to start "educating" everyone about it. She's got this attitude of "I'm going to do whatever I want when I want, to hell with what other poeple think." I'm all for being empowered, but that's just an immature attitude.

And I still feel like I'm apologizing for her, even in this post. I'm tired of it.

Help me please be nice and calm my flustered-ness and politely defuse anything that may happen. We are all in our mid-30s. Susan and I don't talk to anyone from our hometown anymore nor do we talk to anyone that knows Lily. We both grew up, got jobs, and stopped hanging at the bar every night.

Ok. I've rambled on enough now....askme, do your magic!

Where should I throw my birthday party?

libertypie — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 22:30:29 -0800

I'm 22 and from out-of-town. Where should I throw my birthday party in NYC? A bunch of friends are congregating in New York for my birthday in July, and I'd love to show them a good time, though I lack connections or much familiarity with the city. I'm open to any ideas, really, though I'd love a spot where my friends and I could hang out and get rowdy where it's not too expensive. Is there anywhere outdoors that one can drink booze without breaking the law? Any bars that are big enough for about 20 people to settle in where we won't have to pay for a private room? This all may be a pipe dream- wouldn't be too much of a hassle out West where I'm from, but I know big cities are quite different. Thanks, Hive Mind!

Party foul, or reason for jihad?

dejah420 — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 09:41:46 -0800

Party foul, or unforgivable etiquette breach? My best friend was having a birthday party, and my present to her this year was going to be a decorated cake. (Sorry, no pictures of the finished cake...reason to follow.)

So, for about two weeks, I got ready for this cake; trying different recipes to get the flavor she wanted (it was a chai spice butter cake, with hazelnut cream cheese icing), I made tons of sugar flowers, flow-in butterflies, fondant bees, etc.,etc. Most of the cake parts had to be transported separately, because these things don't travel well, so I drove down (about 4 hours) to the party a half a day early to put the cake together, which took another 3 hours.

The birthday girl wanted to cut her cake after the pot luck dinner, and after everyone had a chance to go swimming.

I came in from the pool, and found that one of the guests...known for her rather tacky behavior, had disassembled the cake...put the sugar flowers all over the house, and had taken what looked like a huge handful of cake out of the cake itself. I didn't even get a chance to take a picture of the final cake, the birthday girl didn't get a chance to cut her cake, and nobody else at the party got the experience of the whole cake ritual. (singing happy birthday, etc.)

I was furious. Livid, even. My exact words were "What the hell is wrong with you? Were you raised by wild animals? Under what circumstances does this qualify as acceptable behavior?"

The woman who did all the damage ran out crying, and her husband came in to berate me for making his wife cry. At which point, I just threw up my hands and walked away. Now, keep in mind, these are not kids. These people are all over 40.

I feel like I have every right to be angry that some twit destroyed my present and hours and hours and hours of work, and that I should never have to do anything but be country-club polite to her ever again. (Yes, I know that it is a particularly vicious female tactic. I only use it when jihad seems too kind.)

Other people say that it was an egregious party foul, but given that the person is socially clueless and inept, that I should forgive and forget. (Other than randomly seeing this twit at parties, I have no contact with her, and I'm not demanding that anyone else stop seeing her, I'm just saying that I will no longer be friendly to her, especially since she feels like she shouldn't have to apologize "because I yelled at her". )

So, your opinions: Am I over-reacting to an egregious party foul?

Help me schedule a kids' party

Daily Alice — Thu, 28 May 2009 08:37:43 -0800

Help a socially clueless person plan an end-of-kindergarten party. Despite the fact that I am an extreme introvert, I decided to plan an end-of-year party for my son's kindergarten class, to be held at our subdivision's swimming pool. Last week I sent out an e-mail to the other parents, suggesting the idea of the party, and offering a choice of two dates - June 6 or June 13. Out of seventeen, three people replied that they would come on either date, two that they were already booked both dates, two that they could come on the 6th but not the 13th, and two that could come on the 13th but not the 6th. The two who couldn't come on the 13th mentioned in the e-mail that it was the day of their daughter's dance recital. I chose the 13th (mostly because, other things appearing equal, one of the ones who could come on the 13th but not the 6th is my son's best friend), and sent out an email last night with the date and time to everyone, saying that paper invitations would follow.

As of now, I have received no acceptances, and seven regrets. Six of those seven regrets have said, we're sorry, but it's our daughter's dance recital day. Apparently all the girls take dance classes at the same place - who knew? I'm worried that the moms of the dancers think I picked the date specifically to exclude them. I really do want to have as many kids come as possible. I haven't sent out paper invitations yet. Should I -

Leave the date as is, everyone has conflicts sometimes and not everyone can make it to every party?

Choose a new date - this would likely be the 14th, as I now have other plans for the 6th?

Send out another polling email, offering a choice of the 13th or the 14th?

I feel like a complete dope for not foreseeing this, because the rest of the moms, who actually talk to each other, probably knew that all the girls were in the same dance class.

hot ham water?

arianell — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 01:07:01 -0800

I need recipes for tantalizing soups that freeze well. Bonus points for creativity. I've been invited to one of those nifty Soup Swap parties, and I want to knock everyone's socks off with 6 quarts of really interesting and delicious soup.

Ideally, I'd like to find a recipe that:
1.) doesn't require blending of any kind - I don't have an immersion blender, and I haven't had good luck with pureeing soup in the "normal" blender.
2.) is meatless - not a requirement, but I know there will be lots of vegetarians in attendance.
3.) is still delicious after freezing/thawing - obviously.

Thanks in advance!

What are some good meals to cook for dinner parties/groups of people?

Hartster — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 06:31:39 -0800

What are some good meals to cook for dinner parties/groups of people? What are some good cooking tips for the same? What are meals that scale well for groups of 6-10 people? One of the things I'd like to avoid is having to spend too much time on the kitchen once people have turned up. However, at the same time, I'd like food that still has a bit of a wow factor (so while everyone loves, say, lasagne and it scales well and can be done easily, that sort of fails that criterion).

Also, what are good tips for preparing food for such occasions. (For example, the old "cooking vegetables before hand, then sticking in cold water, then reheating them through for a few minutes" trick). I'm thinking that restuarants must have plenty of experience here: how do they cook risotto and pasta? Is it always from scratch?

Social discomfort, family obligation

frosty_hut — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 10:29:06 -0800

Cousin Zach is a sweetheart, but I don't have the time or inclincation to attend everything he invites us to. How to say no tactfully? Guilt is involved. Last year I was contacted by my cousin Linda (can't remember the fake name I used before). I hadn't seen her in about twenty-five years. She had cancer, knew she was dying, and -- though I didn't realize it -- had been feeling guilty all that time about her previous failure to contact me. My mother and father had died when I was pretty young, and I guess Linda had been beating herself up for keeping away from me during that period. I mostly wasn't bothered. I vaguely wondered where she was on occasion, but it wasn't like her absence ever made a real difference to me. She had never been around, so I suppose I didn't know what I was missing.

It turned out there wasn't much time to get to know Linda. Her house was just jam-packed with people toward the end. But I snatched a few moments with her, and she sent me some emails. She was tired what with the chemo, and it's too bad we didn't have more time. She passed away a few months ago, and I hope she's at peace.

In the meantime, there's Linda's husband Zach. He's a great guy. But you can't just be with Zach. He's always with about a million and five people. My husband and I are both socially challenged, and all of these people were a bit intimidating the first time we went over there. It's like I have no family for twenty-five years, and suddenly I've got four hundred instant relatives.

But except for my Uncle Morris (Zach's father-in-law), the most adorable 87 year old on the planet and a person who sets me completely at ease, I'm not jumping up and down at the prospect of a long term association with Zach and Co. I'm bewildered and alienated by the waves and waves of people that keep frothing up around me whenever I get within a few feet of wherever Zach's standing. My husband and I bowed out of one of the holiday-time gatherings he invited us to, but we felt bad and asked him if he could meet us sometime for lunch. He said sure, but it didn't happen and I'll bet it never will.

I'm starting to get cranky about it. Apparently Zach is the only one who can initiate anything socially. He only wants to do things his way, with his people, at his house, etc. When my husband and I suggest something, it's a no-go for whatever reason. Zach doesn't want to be alone with us I feel. It's an intimacy-avoidance thing. Or that's my gut sense about it. It's like he's got to be shored up by a cast of thousands. He can't just sit and chat and look me in the eye. He simply can't do intimacy, and doesn't feel the need to try.

Which is fine, but it's just the opposite of how I am. I love chatting with just one person. It's the only way I feel I'm ever encountering the person in a real way. Groups of folks don't do it for me as a rule.

So we're just different. And it's okay. Except --

Zach keeps inviting my husband to events we don't want to attend, which necessitates our refusal, and I'm starting to feel like a gigantic jerk. I do think Zach's urgency about it has something to do with Linda having pressed him for a promise to make things right with me after her death. Don't have hard evidence--it's just a suspicion. And I can understand the sentiment.

But it's so one-way. Why does Zach assume his family is so great? I mean, I'm not a kid anymore. I'm forty-something already. I've got a little life in place here. I've been put-putting along without this branch of the family for twenty-five years, thanks, and I haven't been irreversibly damaged by their absence. I feel there's an arrogance in Zach's attitude, and it rubs me the wrong way.

But I don't want to hurt Uncle Morris' feelings. He's the last living relative I've got that I care about. He's lost two daughters over the past fourteen months. He's bearing up, and I want to support him utterly. But how do I frame this to him? I can't just say, "Zach weirds me out. We don't feel comfortable over there. I won't see you there anymore, but let's you and I keep doing lunch!"

Is there anything else I can say, that would save my relationship with Uncle Morris -- and Zach? And if I'm being a total asshole, let me know.

Wintertime and the livin's easy

mannequito — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 14:19:01 -0800

Help me put together a great summer themed dj set! To combat the winter blues, a friend of mine is throwing a house warming party with a summer theme, cranking the heat, everyone in shorts and sandals, fake palm trees, etc etc.

I volunteered to dj a set. I know that another guy will already be doing a set of 'classics' so I'm not looking for obvious stuff like the Beach Boys, but would rather do a nice hip-hop/ska/reggae/upbeat electronic set. Think in the vein of 'Doin' Time' by Sublime.

How to kick guests out at a reasonable time?

Anonymous — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 06:52:39 -0800

I love entertaining at home, but I also love going to bed. How do I encourage my guests to leave at a reasonable time? With the holiday season coming up, I'd love to throw a couple of parties for Xmas & New Year. We have a great apartment, with an amazing view, which is awesome for entertaining, and I love having people over. The problem is, after midnight I really struggle, and I like to go to bed at a reasonable time.

I've had a couple of (small, intimate) parties where I just couldn't get people to leave until after 3. Even the heaviest hints didn't work, and I'm too polite to say "HEY. I NEED TO SLEEP NOW, GOODBYE!"

I've tried yawning. Cleaning up the dishes. Turning the lights up etc., but some people just don't get it. I dread the end to the evening now.

Does anyone have any good suggestions so I can enjoy hosting my friends this xmas?

The Jam: That's Entertainment?

Silky Slim — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 01:20:07 -0800

How can I break up a jam session tastefully? Our last party featured a live band. It was a great success, with plenty of guests/spectators, and the live show was terrific. Now we're planning our next party, and I want to address a problem that arose last time. After the band finished its show, a bunch of musicians (who never played together before) got up and started jamming. The jam session was great, but... it did drag a bit after a while. After about 20 minutes, the natives started getting restless, but we didn't know what do. The jam was trippy and meandering, the energy generated by the live band started dissipating, and the DJ couldn't start his set. Every time a song ended, the guitar guy who led the jam immediately started playing another. Finally, the jam ran its course after about 45 minutes.
Now don't get me wrong, jams are great etc, but they do tend to be open-ended. We are going to encourage musicians to come with their instruments and jam this time too, but how can we contain it? Limit them to 2 songs ahead of time? Allot a time frame? A nudge and a wink after a while? Each of these solutions seems slightly jarring and uncomfortable. It's a show, and introducing a clock, in any shape or form, seems incongruous. or is it?

How to turn East Village apartment into speakeasy joint

dvjtj — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 10:42:33 -0800

How to turn East Village apartment into 'speakeasy joint' for dinner parties I have a very small East Village apartment with one room where the bedroom / kitchen / living room are all in one space. The idea of having dinner parties came up amongst friends, and I want to deck the place out so it harkens back to an old 1920s speakeasy so more people will come over. Is there an easy way to do this? I have bare white walls, a bed, HDTV, and other small things (rugs, loveseat). Is it even possible to do this? What suggestions do you have? Anything is appreciated.

Hung up and perplexed.

Anonymous — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 15:09:09 -0800

How do I get over my hang ups and start to live? I'm a strange guy, mid-twenties, smart and socially awkward. Here's where I diverge from the half the people here that describes: I was 'home-schooled,' which in my case meant being left to my own devices, often isolated from peers, for many of my formative years. No prom, no wedgies, no Lookout Point. My adolescence helplessly spent under what some would call neglect or abuse, as I tried not to go completely mad. For reasons of parental health, I'm living under the same roof; but I'm rarely ever home, and only to tend to what must be tended to (I'll leave it at that).

I busy myself working for a decent wage, volunteering loads of time in the community, meeting lots of new people, and using whatever's left to fix what's wrong with me. I've got a newish car, I started dressing metro (shut up), eating better, working out a bit, at parties I try to drink until I'm interesting (I tend to be more random when I'm halfway sloshed).

But I'm still an outsider; I can feel it. I'll be invited to a BBQ, a house party, a show, but I've never been invited to a bachelor party. Something about me screams to them I would not be fun in this situation, and it's probably right. My social abilities are inconsistent, at the least. Sometimes things just flow, and I can walk about a crowded room, and make the rounds with everyone; and other times, I'll stop at the door, and this brutal thought just hits me that I'm a weirdo, will always be a weirdo, and will never fit in. All the worse, I'm a total introvert, so just convincing myself to make the effort is often a small battle in itself.

So because the general tone of my self-regard is that I'm this oddball, I'm very passive rather than proactive with and within social gatherings. That is, I've never arranged a party, and only arranged a few meet ups (mainly because I'm afraid to cross the line on inviting casual acquaintances, and of the dejection of people not showing up). Now, most of my friends have huge networks they've relied on since school for most of their social and professional lives -- I don't have that. I think I want something like that, but first I have to figure out how, if possible, to transcend, overcome, or work around either the perception that I'm too weird for the inner circle, or the burdensome fear of the same. I think the main thing is I feel like I'm walking around with something to hide: a shameful past, and unglamorous present. I think it makes me guarded.

There's no question mark in the bulk there because I'm not sure what the question ought to be. I've hit all the standard self-improvement marks I've been capable of so far, but there's something in the way of my taking full advantage of what's in front of me.

cost for a porta john?

Salvatorparadise — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 19:06:44 -0800

what's it cost to rent a porta john Any body know what it costs to rent a porta john? Want to rent one for a party saturday, it can be hauled out sunday or monday...

We're in Western New York state...

Stag and Doe

sandraregina — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 06:51:05 -0800

Are stag and does/buck and does a soley Ontario thing? At my friends' stag and doe (also known as 'buck and doe') the other night, a group of us were talking with our friend from the US who came out. None of them could recall having a stag and doe or buck and doe 'back home'. They all came from a different state. Then someone from out east chimed in and said she hadn't recalled any stag and doe parties before she moved to Ontario.

Those of us who were local considered them as just one of the many pre-wedding parties and events that every couple goes through. Sure, some opt out, like my brother, but everyone knows at least one couple who had one to raise money for their wedding.

So, is it a local phenomenon? Ontario only? Canadian? A scattered thing around north america? Are there other types of 'wedding fundraiser' parties, just with different names?

I'm just curious.

How to plan a unique 27th birthday party in Boston?

evalenza — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 18:22:09 -0800

What activities, in or around Boston, would create an amazing birthday evening for my delightfully nerdy, almost-27-year-old boyfriend? He isn't picky or demanding, which makes me even more determined to ensure he has an awesome time.
Examples of great birthday parties you've been to, or organized, would be helpful. I'm totally up for throwing something in my apartment, too.

-some things he enjoys: live music, microbrews, bowling, billiards, video games, karaoke, cooking, brunch, zombies, philosophy, controlling the music, samurai flicks, theme parties
-thinks he doesn't: club-y scenes, dancing, bees

Planning a graduation party in Knoxville on the cheap.

shiu mai baby — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 12:36:28 -0800

Throwing a party, in Knoxville, on a budget, for a bunch of out-of-towners (myself included). I need suggestions! My sister will be graduating from college in early May of this year. My mom has tasked me with putting together some sort of reception to celebrate (it's been a long, particularly tough struggle for my sister to get to where she is now, so we're all extremely proud of her).

The family (which is quite large) will be descending on Knoxville, and, since I'm not from there and my sister is swamped with her studies, I'm hoping y'all might be able to help me figure out the what and where. Here are the parameters:

- The venue needs to be big enough to accommodate around 30 people, possibly more.
- Centrally located to downtown Knoxville would probably be good, but I won't completely rule out going up into the mountains.
- Although the question of who's ultimately footing the bill is still unanswered, we still need to keep expenses down. I'm ballparking around $15 per person.
- We have a gazillion kids in the group, so kid-friendly is very important.

I've read this thread and this thread, from which I learned about Calhoun's, but I'm open to other ideas. My family is mildy crazy, very casual, and just wants to celebrate my sister's perseverence and reaching the end of a very, very hard road.

Best. New Year's. Party. Ever.

sotalia — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 14:49:34 -0800

I'm planning a New Year's Eve party, and I'm looking for inspiration. Have you attended a great New Year's Eve party in the past? What elements made it so successful?

Social insecurity ahoy! How do I fix a bad first impression?

Anonymous — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 13:24:44 -0800

Pretty soon I’ll be going out of town to visit a good friend, and said friend has just invited me to the Xmas party with the folks she works with since it’ll be held while I’m out there. Problem is, they’re very cool and I’m very NOT. We’ve met before and I’m pretty sure most of them think of me as my friend’s dweeby, awkward, strange pal. This only compounds my anxiety and will likely make me act even MORE dweeby, awkward, & strange this time around. Please help me with damage control! So I’ve read through past questions on social anxiety in party settings (like this one), and they’ve had a lot of really helpful advice I certainly intend to try. However, one thing I can’t seem to find is any input on what to do if you’ve got to interact with a group of people you kind-of know, who kind-of intimidate you, and among whom you’ve probably already given an impression of yourself as shy, dweeby, and strange.

These folks are all more or less nice and they’ve never done anything “mean” to me but they do intimidate me. There’s just something about their group dynamics – a certain “edge” to the them – that gives me uncomfortable flashbacks to junior high (guess which kid –I- was in gym class!) and makes my awkward and introverted tendencies come out even more than usual. Unfortunately there’s also something about them that makes me kind of admire them and WANT them to like me – plus of course I don’t want to “embarrass” my friend (logically I doubt I would, I KNOW we’re good friends, but emotionally I can’t seem to shake the fear) – which is only compounding my anxiety and likelihood of awkwardness. Gah!!

All of which goes to say: I will soon be at a party with people around whom I’ve previously come across as dweeby and awakward, and they do kind of intimidate me, and yet I do want to go to this party with my friend and would LOVE to help fix those first impressions or at the very least not feel so uncomfortable that I only end up acting even MORE awkwardly this time around. Have you ever been in such a situation? Are there things I could do or consider that would help me fix a bad first impression and do a better job of putting my best foot forward this time around?

Guh, social buffoonery makes life so DIFFICULT! :P

Have I destroyed a friendship?

Ruby Doomsday — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 10:58:27 -0800

Is my friend being petty, or should I try harder to patch this up? Long explanation... My male friend and I have known each other for seven years, helped each other through some hard times and used to talk daily, but we have drifted over the past few years. We do, however, stay in touch. He and his wife host a big party once a year. These are keg-and-jello-shot parties, by the way - not Riedel-crystal-and-caviar affairs. I've always been a bit of a social spaz and tend to be defensive if I perceive someone to be insulting/mocking/ridiculing me. This has happened at the last couple of parties my friend has had, and I've exchanged some heated words with some of his more chauvenistic male friends. I do recognize that it's a problem and that I shouldn't get so upset with people - even if they're being inappropriate.

This year's party was two weeks ago. A guy I didn't know bumped into me outside and spilled his drink all over me. I'd have been OK with it if he had apologized, because clearly it was an accident, but instead he smugly rolled his eyes and made some crack like, "Get over it; it's not the end of the world." I wasn't angry, but I felt he was being a jerk, so when he turned away, I "spilled" my (clear) drink on him and smirked, "OK, now we're even." He became infuriated and insisted to his wife that they leave. I asked my friend, the party host, if he thought I was out of line and he laughed and said, "No, it was pretty funny actually." We moved on and forgot the whole thing.

This week I got an e-mail from my friend asking if I knew who poured the drink on the guy at the party and I replied, saying, "Yes, silly, remember? That was me." What I got back was an angry, hurtful e-mail attacking my poor social skills and saying every time I've come to his home I've created a problem. He said that this time, it was the last straw, he's had enough of me and doesn't want me back in his home ever again.

WTF? He was drinking on the night of the party, so I get that he may have forgotten seeing the incident and telling me it was funny. But to get so angry as to bar me from his house? I'm hurt that he didn't choose to talk to me about it and clearly has so little regard for my friendship that I didn't even deserve the benefit of the doubt in my motives. I've e-mailed back recounting the incident in detail, apologizing for upsetting him and saying that I'll accept it if he doesn't want my friendship anymore, but if he does I will be more mindful of his feelings and those of his friends in the future.

Is that enough? Should I be more assertive in asking for forgiveness, or should I just leave it at that? On one hand I feel like he must not think very highly of me to say such hurtful things, and that maybe I'm better off without his friendship; on the other hand I wonder if that reaction is, again, a result of my insecurities/defensiveness. I never thought this could be so unforgivable or that my seven-year friendship was worth so little that he could throw it away over some ridiculous thing I did. Advice? Be kind, please.

Oh, what do we know about partying or anything else?

M.C. Lo-Carb! — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 17:53:54 -0800

How big and loud can a weekend party be before the neighbors get pissed off? I live in a traditional detached home in a middle class urban neighborhood, near a university, whose population is a wide-ranging mix of old and young people and families.

My wife and I, who have owned this house for about 3 years, have held an annual Halloween party for the last 6, and the list of invitees has grown as we've transitioned through different jobs, hobbies, classes etc. over the years. We think this year's could possibly be 45 or more people, the bulk of which would be here at the same time.

Because of the small size of our house, many guests will likely be in the back yard, and there will be music playing out there, loud conversation, etc. There are concrete walls separating our yard from those of our neighbors, but otherwise, it's a pretty close-in 'hood.

Things will probably wrap up at 11 or midnight. Most of our friends are professionals in their 30s, so we're not talking fights or vomiting in the gutter. But there might be some boisterous laughter, a contained bonfire, dogs playing/fighting, perhaps an illegal substance abused.

We get along pretty well with our neighbors, and don't want them to hate us. And we really want to be good members of our community.

We've had a few shindigs, but most 15 people or less. Is this pushing it? What are the appropriate limits for parties in city neighborhoods?

Drink, drank, but not yet drunk

Ogre Lawless — Sat, 06 Oct 2007 12:26:25 -0800

Its sparkling or perhaps plain water, its fruit and sometimes flowers, its mighty tasty, lightly so, and occasionally seen at art galleries by me on show days, but what the hell is it -called-?

Yet Another Costume Question

arha — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 05:52:16 -0800

I need a costume idea, theme "Myths & Legends". Help me, please! I've been invited to my sister's art school's ball on Saturday night. The theme is "Myths and Legends", and I need last minute inspiration.

I am female, in Australia, serious bonus points for cheaply achieved ideas (I am on a student budget myself).

One thought was just shoving a razor blade in an apple, carrying it all night, and explaining it as an urban legend, but that seems a bit naff. Anyone have anything better?