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Depressed father, mother miserable too - what can we adult children do?

My dad, in his 60s, seems to be depressed. He is deeply unhappy and anxious, and he's also become angry and bitter to the point of a total personality change, mostly with my mum. She is miserable, and me and my siblings are so worried about both of them, especially because Dad refuses to get any help or even have a conversation about this. What, if anything, can we do here? [more inside]
posted by smockpuppet on May 18, 2013 - 11 answers

 

Help me have a higher quality of life living with the parents this time!

Two nights from now I will be back living with the parents on the other end of the country. Help me turn this into a positive experience. What worked for you? [more inside]
posted by signondiego on Apr 29, 2013 - 9 answers

How do I tell my parents I am taking a break from school?

My parents are seem to lack trust in my ability to manage my own life. They are controlling, have a strong tendency to emotionally overreact. How do I tell my parents I am taking a break from school with them overreacting? My mother is currently undergoing cancer treatment and I am concerned she will “worry herself sick” over me taking a break from school. [more inside]
posted by lovecricket on Apr 29, 2013 - 13 answers

Going Home to Toxic Family--How to deal? Help me help Mom!

I am currently finishing up my exchange in France where I've had awesome experiences and faced life-changing learning curves. Now I'm returning home to my extremely estranged parents who have been fighting all my life--deep, disgusting trenches of arguments that seem never-ending. [more inside]
posted by rhythm_queen on Apr 28, 2013 - 48 answers

Name/domain for private photo network for parents.

Please help me pick a name and domain for our website/app. We're a private network for parents to upload, backup and share their kids' pictures. [more inside]
posted by signal on Apr 14, 2013 - 1 answer

How to have a healthy relationship with my anxious parents.

How to have a healthy relationship with my anxious parents. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 11, 2013 - 9 answers

Parents. Cheating. Way out of my depth.

My mom just found out my dad's been cheating on her. How do I deal with all of this from 3000 miles away? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 5, 2013 - 27 answers

Advice for adult children of mentally-not-all-there parents?

How do balance respecting a parent's age and experience and treating them well when they aren't acting their age? Sorry for the length. I am not sure how to make it shorter. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 2, 2013 - 19 answers

How do I get health insurance for my Eastern European mother-in-law?

My wife's mom is a widow of advancing age. She lives alone in Eastern Europe, in a country with universal health care. (More or less... thanks, austerity!) As she is getting older, we're starting to worry about her living over there, both because of quality of care and because the day that she's no longer suited to live by herself seems approaching. We live in the US and would like to bring her over here permanently. Putting aside immigration questions, how do we get health insurance for her? [more inside]
posted by DirtyOldTown on Mar 12, 2013 - 8 answers

Are my parents helicoptering?

Overall I have a very good relationship with my parents. However, some of their behaviors annoy me sometimes and there is this general feeling I get with our interactions in which I feel like I'm being treated like a teenager. So I'd like to get the Metafilter consensus: this normal parent behavior? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by daisies on Mar 7, 2013 - 70 answers

Second-time parenting, how does that work?

Tell me about your daily schedules, parenting logistics, etc., with a newborn plus a toddler or older child. [more inside]
posted by Bardolph on Mar 7, 2013 - 15 answers

What the heck is wrong with my mother?!

My mom is well-meaning. She tries hard to be good and kind. I would be in dead a ditch without her. However, she is far and away the most emotionally manipulative person I have ever met. The most succinct way I can describe her behavior this: Every conversation about a problem-- even if it's not related to her behavior-- turns into a conversation about what a bad person she is. YANMPsychologist. But she doesn't have one and won't get one, and I need some kind of term to frame her behavior so I can look up resources on how to talk to her without wanting to scream. [more inside]
posted by the liquid oxygen on Mar 4, 2013 - 27 answers

I'd prefer water: How can I sever the ties of next of kinship?

My family are terrible. I've recently, with the help of therapy and mortality staring me down, finally cut ties to their toxic presence. How can I make sure that they're never legally or otherwise involved in my life again? In the US, married, very ill. [more inside]
posted by sweltering on Mar 4, 2013 - 9 answers

I think my father is cheating on my mother. How do I deal?

I'm an adult who doesn't live with my parents. I've been suspecting something shady going on for the past 6 months and it's taking a toll on my stress levels. How do I deal with this situation? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 1, 2013 - 32 answers

An 18-year-old girl who I'm interested in dating's parents want my info

An 18-year-old girl I met online who I'm interested in dating's parents (who, I should note, are still financially supporting her) want all sorts of my info before they'll let her meet me and I believe they want it regardless if she meets me here or if I meet her there. Her parents want, among other things: My address and addresses and phone numbers of various family members of mine; scans of pieces of my ID; to check if I have a criminal record. Is it wrong of me to want to withhold this info from them? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 27, 2013 - 96 answers

How can I help my parents, who are in over their heads financially?

I am worried about my parents, both of whom make a decent living, but are overwhelmed by debt. I cannot help them financially (and neither can my siblings, really), but I am looking for suggestions as to what direction to point them to be able to help themselves. [more inside]
posted by aka_anon on Feb 23, 2013 - 16 answers

The plane is a time machine

I act childish and feel patronized whenever I go back home from university to my parents and (much) older sister. I think this is a known phenomenon. What can I do to minimize this? (Snowflake details inside.) [more inside]
posted by Conspire on Feb 22, 2013 - 10 answers

The mom of my ex wants to get in touch... what now?

Out of the blue, the mom of my ex-boyfriend (whom I thought I was just starting to get over with) wants to reconnect, but without his knowledge (we haven't been keeping in touch since Christmas). She wants to have "a little chat" -- when I pressed for details, she said only to keep in touch whenever I find myself in town. As well-intentioned as she may be, I feel this is quite manipulative of her due to the context of our breakup and I'm not sure how to respond, if I should, and if I should go ahead and meet up with her (I'm half-scared of being ambushed and reprimanded -- because she wants his sister to tag along on this chat, too -- plus I feel I'll be complicit in the mother's going behind my ex's back, whatever the outcome). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 19, 2013 - 81 answers

Should my sister's boyfriend be paying rent to my parents?

My parents are now asking my sister's new live-in boyfriend to pay rent while he lives in her house, which they co-own and are paying the mortgage on. Is this right? [more inside]
posted by Auden on Feb 18, 2013 - 53 answers

Getting control of bank account from parent?

Hi MeFi, I have a friend who is having trouble getting access to the money her dad left her when he passed away. Her mother currently has control of the money and won't let the friend manage it herself despite the fact that she is 21. The friend wants to know how she can find out her account information so she manage her own money. Thanks, zscore
posted by zscore on Feb 18, 2013 - 10 answers

Curating an rss for my parents

We are web junkies, the parents are hip but have some issues adopting multi-step tech solutions, can we cut the lessons and just curate their readers? All of them are on flipboard, but rarely add new material, Is there an easy way for me to subscribe them or do I have to make additional google accounts for them and subscribe them that way? What am I not thinking of? [more inside]
posted by history is a weapon on Feb 11, 2013 - 4 answers

what to buy for 2yr old girl, premature baby boy + due-soon nephew???

Being without children myself and not that well versed on what they need/want or the big trends right now, i need suggestions for the following gifts i need to buy in the next month or so: gift for a premature baby boy (or his mum); gift for a 2yr old girl; gift for my soon to be arriving nephew [more inside]
posted by moreteaplease on Feb 8, 2013 - 10 answers

How to age gracefully, or how do the elderly transition into retirement?

As I assist my recently retired parents, I'm finding I know very little about the practical parts of traversing this phase of life. How do I help them manage their financial future, particularly with life insurance? I've read previous posts but special *elder* snowflake.. [more inside]
posted by loquat on Feb 7, 2013 - 5 answers

How can I support Mom through Dad's failing mental health?

My Dad is in his late 60's and through some combination of age, TIA's, and overmedication, he is at some times out of it and inappropriate, and at all times tired and lethargic. My Mom is struggling horribly with this as she's unwilling to see herself entirely as a caretaker, and she enables him with regards to alcohol and drugs, and beats up on herself over things she can't control. I'd like to support her and give her good guidance without being overly harsh. [more inside]
posted by ftm on Jan 31, 2013 - 10 answers

How to react to my girlfriend going back to her parent's every weekend?

So, my girlfriend is in her early 30s, as am I. We've been dating for almost a year; we're moving in together and it's overall great - but I'm starting to get irked that she leaves almost every saturday morning, and comes back almost every sunday night, to go to her parents who live in another state. I love her; and this is a silly problem; I don't want to make it one, but I'm at a loss on how to react...
posted by anonymous on Jan 27, 2013 - 35 answers

How to arrange family vacation with adult siblings but without parents?

My sister (married, one child) and I (married, no kids) want to plan a joint family vacation. We do not want our parents (divorced, both remarried) to come. Our mom is extremely sensitive/dramatic, and we are hoping to avoid a major meltdown from her. Help? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 26, 2013 - 16 answers

How do I forgive?

I am struggling with deciding what the right balance is between forgiving someone even though they have not (and probably will not) acknowledge their wrong thoroughly and ceasing substantial contact with them (which will also make me sad) in order to demand the treatment that I feel I deserve. (snowflake details inside) [more inside]
posted by sb3 on Jan 25, 2013 - 41 answers

What to do in case of 'helicopter parents'?

I am a young adult woman living in the home she grew up in, with parents and siblings. My parents are NOT abusive - they have always provided me with a place where I felt safe and cared for. But the way they relate to me now that I've gone to college and come back has not changed since I was several years younger, and I think it's affecting me negatively. I need to figure out what my action plan is for establishing my independence, both materially and emotionally. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 17, 2013 - 76 answers

They don't cover parental emergencies in Infant CPR class.

What would happen to my son if 911 were called for me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 17, 2013 - 18 answers

Which way past this impasse?

How do I reconcile my parents and my fiance? Should I even try? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 11, 2013 - 25 answers

How to confront parents?

How to confront parents about an event which really hurt when I was younger and continues to plague my life/our relationship now (over ten years later)? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 9, 2013 - 38 answers

Drugs make my bipolar mom a shell of herself. She says it's worth it.

Extremely medicated mom: My mom has struggled with intense bipolar disorder for most of her life. She attempted suicide twice and has been hospitalized 3 times. For the past 3 years or so, medication has stabilized her moods, but at what appears to me to be a heavy cost. She's dulled and flattened to the point that she seems like only a small fraction of the person she was. It's hard for me to see her this way, but I don't know what I can do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 26, 2012 - 20 answers

Next steps now we've lost our local mom hangout?

I live in a quiet and basically ok city neighborhood that's thinking about gentrifying a little. A few months ago we got a new local cafe/bar that's become a community center for parents. But now they don't want us. Can you give me some insight into why that might be or help me plan how to find us all a new hangout? [more inside]
posted by crabintheocean on Dec 23, 2012 - 51 answers

Need a gift idea for two new parents in Houston, TX!

Last minute gift panic: Halp! My sister and her husband live in Houston, TX. I'd let to get them a nice gift that they could use in the area- Spa time, restaurant gift cards etc. I know nothing about the area. Suggestions? Special snowflake details inside [more inside]
posted by GilloD on Dec 22, 2012 - 6 answers

roadrunner webmail not accessible?

My folks are visiting. They won't migrate to contemporary email services such as gmail, preferring to rely on the email service from their broadband provider, Roadrunner. On the road, they have used "https://webmail.roadrunner.com/" as the point of access in the past. However, at the moment, the website appears to be universally inaccessible from within my hole LAN, wired or wifi. When I access the URL, no browser completes the page render. If allowed to timeout, I can examine the source for the page, and the sent content includes a frame hosting a javascript which appears to loop, directing the frame to load "https://webmail.roadrunner.com/". They are not interested in setting up mail client access or forwarding. How can I solve this?
posted by mwhybark on Dec 22, 2012 - 17 answers

Is there a such thing as Old People IT services?

After a decade of virus-filled PCs, a few years ago I got my dad a iMac. After a conversion period, he was off and running and doing fine. But he still finds amazing ways to do things like delete all his applications and otherwise ruin the thing. Is there any sort of lightweight IT service I can pay to lock down his Mac a little and prevent him from messing it up? [more inside]
posted by mathowie on Dec 21, 2012 - 18 answers

How To Deal With My Parents' Fighting?

My parents fight. A lot. My brother is able to drown out the fights somehow and stay neutral. I am not--I get in between the fights and support my mother. And this obviously, does not sit well with my father, who calls me names and tells me he doesn't love me and blames me for fights. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by rhythm_queen on Dec 8, 2012 - 29 answers

Is there such a thing as an unbaptism?

My ex-wife had our child baptized without my knowledge or permission. What can I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 5, 2012 - 48 answers

Tell the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Is it wrong for me to share details about a deceased ex-boyfriend with his parents? Specifically, that he was my boyfriend at all. Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 5, 2012 - 38 answers

So, your child is in jail, eh? How's that working for you?

Guide me through calling the parents of a friend who is in jail. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 4, 2012 - 12 answers

never there

Did you grow up with parent(s) who loved you but were not around a lot? How did that impact you and the person you are today? How did it impact your relationship with you parents? What do you wish your parent(s) did differently? Do you think it is every possible to have a healthy family situation with parents who are gone a lot? [more inside]
posted by seesom on Nov 29, 2012 - 30 answers

How do I get across to my controlling parents?

My relationship with my parents is affecting me emotionally, and has echoes in my professional life. I really want to get through to them across a generational/cross-cultural gap -- but how? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 26, 2012 - 17 answers

Wii for a 3-year-old?

Do 3-year-olds like video games? Tell me about your experiences. [more inside]
posted by thehandsomecamel on Nov 20, 2012 - 19 answers

How honest am I obligated to be with my parents about dropping college classes?

How honest am I obligated to be with my parents about dropping college classes? [more inside]
posted by efsrous on Nov 14, 2012 - 29 answers

Only child with aging parents far away

How do I take care of my aging parents long distance? I'm an only child with small children of my own and feel alone in this situation. [more inside]
posted by percor on Nov 12, 2012 - 18 answers

Convincing my traditional parents that marrying my boyfriend (as opposed to an arranged marriage) is not a "sin". Tried for many years; can you help me try more?

Convincing my traditional parents that marrying my boyfriend (as opposed to an arranged marriage) is not a "sin". Tried for many years; can you help me try more? I will start with a little bit of my background. Please bear with me for the verbose description. [more inside]
posted by alady on Nov 10, 2012 - 41 answers

Child of Asian immigrants seeks ways to understand the family dynamics

How would you respond to these situations? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 8, 2012 - 13 answers

How do I help my bipolar sister in this confusing and tricky situation?

How do I help my bipolar sister in this confusing and tricky situation? [more inside]
posted by gcolmes@gmail.com on Nov 7, 2012 - 28 answers

Eternally unhappy parents with a stagnant and unhealthy marriage--I am in the middle. How to deal?

Please help me deal with my parents ever-strained and unhappy marriage, my fathers refusal to seek marriage counseling, my mother's emotional affair, and my grandparents horrible influence. This has been happening forever--now that I'm 20, my parents are divulging more and more. It's too hard to deal with. Any suggestions welcome. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 31, 2012 - 24 answers

Help me find a doctor for my mom in Grand Rapids, MI.

Help me find an excellent primary care doctor for my mom in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by sweltering on Oct 29, 2012 - 3 answers

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