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Can/Should We Get Past This?

We moved in together, but things are going poorly. Not sure where to go from here. [more inside]
posted by Gray Skies on Sep 17, 2014 - 34 answers

Screen vs physical books: parents modeling reading

Looking for writing (books, articles, blog posts, etc) about parents reading on screens instead of in physical books, and how that might impact kids' impressions of reading [more inside]
posted by Ideal Impulse on Sep 7, 2014 - 2 answers

Help me prevent parental visit from turning into an apocalyptic event

Emotionally abusive parents are coming to visit. Difficulty level: boyfriend introduction. How do I deal with the fallout? [more inside]
posted by phoenix_rising on Aug 29, 2014 - 67 answers

Spending quality time with my parents

My parents, while still active (in their 50s), are getting older and some days I feel acutely aware that time is finite. How can I best spend time with my parents and show them that I care about them and that I am grateful for all they have done for me? This can include gifts they might appreciate, but I'm mostly asking about things I can do to maximize the quality of the time and the relationship I have with my parents. [more inside]
posted by gemutlichkeit on Aug 23, 2014 - 21 answers

Setting parental boundaries

My father and I have a complicated history that colors our present relationship. Help me figure out how to set compassionate boundaries. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 19, 2014 - 11 answers

How to talk to my parents about my special needs brother

I (24yo F) live independently here in DC and have a good life. I have a great full-time job that pays pretty well for someone my age, go to grad school part time, and have a happy social life. I have an excellent relationship with my parents, but I need to talk to them about how my special needs sibling (21yo M) affects my life in the present and the future. I get along very well with my parents, but I'm not sure how to broach this topic in a way that is productive and respectful. [more inside]
posted by schroedingersgirl on Aug 19, 2014 - 24 answers

How to beat new-parent isolation

I'm a few months out from having my first kid. I'll be staying home to care for the child for at least the first year, and the thing that scares me the most is how many parents who did the same thing report feelings of isolation and loneliness. How can I minimize this in my life? [more inside]
posted by ohisee on Aug 18, 2014 - 21 answers

Examples of adults complaining about the younger generation?

I am trying to find examples (essays, articles, etc.) of previous generations complaining about the work ethic of the younger generation. It doesn't matter how far back it i
posted by cherrybounce on Aug 16, 2014 - 11 answers

Immigrant parents won't drop the subject of their former country, help

It's been 32 year since they immigrated to this country, but pretty much the one and only thing my family ever talks about is the home country, and it drives me crazy. I can't change them, but I could probably handle it better. Details and the plea for help within. [more inside]
posted by tumbleweedjack on Aug 15, 2014 - 30 answers

Help my aging parents slow down

Any advice on how to convince my active, aging parents to slow down a bit and find that right balance between being active and overactive? [more inside]
posted by kalimotxero on Aug 5, 2014 - 24 answers

Keeping a kid entertained during grown-up dinners?

In the next few weeks, I will need to attend a series of late-running formal dinners... with a five-year-old in tow. Please recommend your most magical, engrossing, dinner-table-friendly activity books, games, small toys, etc. for the early school-aged set, so we can keep her quietly in her seat and out of everyone's hair. [more inside]
posted by Bardolph on Aug 4, 2014 - 28 answers

Tell me again why teenagers shouldn't be having sex.

My 15-yr old daughter recently told me she has been having sex with her boyfriend of 10 months (also 15 y.o.) [more inside]
posted by cherrybounce on Jul 28, 2014 - 78 answers

Kids flying from the US to the UK with an adult who isn't their parent

What precautions, if any, need to be taken in this situation? [more inside]
posted by terretu on Jul 25, 2014 - 12 answers

Family causes anxiety and I can't visit them.

My family causes me a lot of anxiety, to the point that staying away from them is a key part of keeping my sanity. They don't understand why I don't visit and won't discuss with me. How do I deal with the residual guilt? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 21, 2014 - 19 answers

My parents suck.

My parents are incredibly rude narcissists. This time they've turned their focus on my sister. What can I do to support her through this? [more inside]
posted by floweredfish on Jul 20, 2014 - 17 answers

My parents are slobs and it's making me sick.

I live about five hours away from my parents and visit them frequently. However, their house is so dusty and in such disrepair that the visits are exacting a toll. I have dust allergies that go berserk in their house, and my dust-free sleeping solution (air mattress) is starting to hurt my back. Whenever I try to raise these problems with them, I get a million reasons why nothing can be fixed, and often a giant guilt trip to boot. Not visiting: not an option. Inside: details to make Wilson Bentley proud. [more inside]
posted by the_blizz on Jul 20, 2014 - 44 answers

Web developer salaries: help me distinguish hyperbole from reality

I'm considering a career change into web development and I'm hoping AskMe can help me sort through the abundance of relevant information and get a sense of what reasonable expectations might be. To put it succinctly, I'd like to make about $75-80k a year so that I can support my parents while still being able to save money for my own future. Is it probable for a self-taught developer to earn a salary in this range? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 12, 2014 - 9 answers

Uploading photos to Facebook for the computer unsavvy

My dad is a HUGE fan of Facebook. However he's not hugely competent with computers. He's now asking how he can upload photos from his most recent holidays for his friends to see. There are over a thousand photos in the album. How can we streamline this? [more inside]
posted by roshy on Jun 9, 2014 - 10 answers

Great lenguage irrelevat activities?

My wife is finally going to meet my family. Problem, they don't speak English, She doesn't speak Russian. What are good non speech dependent fun activities we can all do? [more inside]
posted by Sentus on Jun 9, 2014 - 28 answers

How to stop needing my parents' approval?

I am trying to become more emotionally independent from my parents. I had a very traumatic experience with them many years ago, and I don't know how to resolve the lingering insecurity. Due to the nature of the trauma, I've had a lot of trouble using therapy to resolve this issue. What can I do to stop craving their approval? [more inside]
posted by elasticExplosive on May 29, 2014 - 14 answers

What's normal, in an abnormal situation? NICU edition.

Help me better understand our NICU experience last year. Our baby was overall healthy (just early), and he's doing great. But as my second pregnancy progresses, I've been thinking about some residual anxiety and discomfort I have that comes up when I think about my son's time in the NICU and how we felt we were treated. Since our odds of ending up there with #2 are increased, just by the fact of #1 being early, I'd like to be prepared just in case. So I'm interested in perspectives/experiences from anyone who's spent some time in a NICU, as a parent, volunteer, employee, whatever. [more inside]
posted by pennypiper on May 29, 2014 - 22 answers

Last minute parent gift question - liquor edition

Last minute help needed for a birthday and mother's day gift for my mom and dad - fancy alcohol advice needed. [more inside]
posted by ghostbikes on May 8, 2014 - 13 answers

How much did I contribute to my mom staying in her abusive marriage?

My dad is verbally abusive. My mother told me many times as a child that she want to divorce him but is staying for the kids. She said that when I grew up, she would leave my dad and come live with me forever. When I became an adult, I decided I don't want my mom living with me for the rest of my life. She is still with my dad, being verbally abused. Did I cause her to stay in her abusive marriage because I changed my mind? [more inside]
posted by cheesecake on May 7, 2014 - 59 answers

So the guy fills his foot with diesel fuel and...

When I was very young, I once heard my late father tell a friend a joke that was in the first person. Being an impressionable kid, I took it as a true story, to the point of retelling it at a family gathering only to have my father swoop in and scoop me up before I could finish the (presumably at least a little off-color) punchline. I remember his horror at seeing my repeat the joke, but I'm fuzzy on the setup and I have no recollection at all of the punchline. All I remember is that it involved a construction worker who steps on a nail that goes right through his foot and a cagey older worker who advises him to "fill the hole with diesel fuel." Does anyone know this joke?
posted by DirtyOldTown on Apr 28, 2014 - 1 answer

Healing and forgiving after traumatic childhood?

There are possible [triggers] inside. I'd like advice and resources on healing and reconnecting after past familial abuse, when I want to bond with my family and keep them in my life. [more inside]
posted by Pericardium on Apr 23, 2014 - 14 answers

Lovely bed and breakfast in the lower Hudson Valley?

I'd like to treat my parents to a night/weekend at a bed and breakfast, somewhere within an hour of the New Paltz/Kingston area of upstate NY. Any suggestions? [more inside]
posted by silverstatue on Apr 22, 2014 - 7 answers

Folks = parents?

Where you live, or where you grew up, do people commonly refer to their parents as "my folks"? Would that phrasing sound odd to you, or stand out in any way, if, say, a coworker used it? [more inside]
posted by mudpuppie on Apr 21, 2014 - 89 answers

99% chance of Alzheimer's Disease

Chatting casually with a bioinformatician yesterday, I was told that I have 99% chance of developing Alzheimer’s disease, based only on my mother and father’s nationalities. How should I take this claim? [more inside]
posted by mister_kaupungister on Apr 21, 2014 - 27 answers

Parent may have cheated the other out of significant money. What to do?

I think one of my (divorced) parents may have withdrawn legally shared assets and the other parent may be unaware. What is my moral responsibility in this situation, or is it none of my business? Complexities inside. [more inside]
posted by corb on Apr 16, 2014 - 19 answers

My mother has Schizophrenia, how can I help her?

For the last few years my mother has had symptoms of schizophrenia. She believes that an organization is following her, harassing her and screwing job opportunities. She is taken things to a extreme level and has called cops accusing individuals, family members, and others who don't even know her. What do I do? [more inside]
posted by The1andonly on Apr 15, 2014 - 10 answers

Need space for new family

We have a new (4 month old) baby. Hooray! My husband and I both have wonderful parents who want to see their only granddaughter as much as they can. His parents live almost across the country so don't visit often. The problem is with my parents, and I need a reality check about what I'm asking of them- am I setting reasonable boundaries or being selfish? [more inside]
posted by chela on Mar 21, 2014 - 29 answers

My mother asked me to do her a favour. I don't want to anymore...

My mother routinely asks me to 'check on' her place when she is out of town. This has become very burdensome for me. Details below. [more inside]
posted by JoannaC on Mar 17, 2014 - 41 answers

How to stop these doubts about whether I am over-sensitive

Based on previous MeFi advice, I'm limiting my contact with my parents. Dad is reacting angrily. I'm fine with that and generally feel fantastic, but I have moments of wondering if I am too sensitive (as he claims) and whether I over-react in situations where everyone else would shrug it off. How to stop these doubts? [more inside]
posted by cheesecake on Mar 10, 2014 - 28 answers

My brother died four days ago. My father is coping by being abusive.

My brother passed away on Monday. My father is coping by lashing out. What do I do? [more inside]
posted by TryTheTilapia on Mar 7, 2014 - 22 answers

Aging Parent Filter: how do your folks get food and transportation?

People with aging parents (not newly retired, but also not ready for home care/retirement home): how are your parents getting food and transportation? [more inside]
posted by cranberryskies on Feb 28, 2014 - 21 answers

How to 'blast' music on speakers for mixing, living with parents

Hey music people I'm wondering if you maybe have figured out a solution to this issue I'm having. Basically I need to master/play electronic music on my studio monitor speakers, usually at a VERY LOUD level so I can hear if all the frequencies are where they should be. I'm living with the folks and they got super pissed when I was doing that in my closet. So I moved outside with the speakers facing away and they were still pissed. Keep in mind this is all in the middle of the day. [more inside]
posted by wavecal22 on Feb 27, 2014 - 22 answers

Parents hate my boyfriend...How should I talk to them?

I have dated someone on and off for over a year, we have learned a lot about each other and have unfortunatly been through some ups and downs. We see each other coming out stronger than ever and working through everything but it is taking some time...I am fighting for this because I know what we have is special and what he provides me is what I have been looking for. [more inside]
posted by BrandNewMe on Feb 24, 2014 - 25 answers

I'm doing the "right" thing but I feel trapped and resentful.

I am watching my stepson's daughter every other weekend and I don't want to anymore. [more inside]
posted by cherrybounce on Feb 12, 2014 - 37 answers

Advice for an adoptee

How do I find my birth parents? [more inside]
posted by mokin on Feb 6, 2014 - 14 answers

Meaning of a Yiddish expression my Mother used.

What did my Yiddische mother mean when she said, "You can have [reasonable alternative choice 1] or you can have [reasonable alternative 2] or you can have 'kakebetchke with hindigzumen'" ? In that context, what is "kakebetchke with hindigzumen"? [more inside]
posted by SamFrancisco on Feb 4, 2014 - 33 answers

Estranged parents threatening to call police

I'd just like opinions on how to handle the potential situation of a police officer and relative showing up at my apartment at the request of other family members. More relevant details inside: [more inside]
posted by velebita on Feb 4, 2014 - 18 answers

Media recommendations for a gender-nonconforming 3-year-old boy

I’m looking some age-appropriate media that will show my bright, sensitive 3 year old son (who seems to be more interested in all things femme every day) that his interests are okay. He has lots of female family members and friends who demonstrate to him that there are a million different ways of being a woman or a girl. But neither his dad nor I is feminine in the slightest, and most of the men in his life are uniformly masculine. I’d love it if he could see positive representations of boys and men in books and TV who have a wider variety of gender expressions. [more inside]
posted by libraritarian on Jan 27, 2014 - 32 answers

Oh brother, don't hate me

I've decided to skip my brother's wedding, for very good reasons. Help me figure out how to talk to him about this - it gets long, sorry. [more inside]
posted by guessthis on Jan 27, 2014 - 62 answers

How can I tell my overprotective parents I´m going nomad?

Without losing them in the process. Click for (a lot) more of details. [more inside]
posted by Fermin on Jan 12, 2014 - 30 answers

Help clueless future parents buy the right home to raise kids in!

As future parents and first time homebuyers, what aren't we thinking about, or under-emphasizing/over-emphasizing, in trying to pick a home to raise (two) kids in?  What should we consider in deciding on house versus condo, location, neighborhood, size, layout, features, etc? [more inside]
posted by EmilyClimbs on Jan 10, 2014 - 36 answers

Should I worry about my 2-year-old playing with unvaccinated kids?

I have read articles about herd immunity and I understand the concept. But, boots on the ground, should I worry about my vaccinated son occasionally playing with a partially vaccinated 4-year-old and a completely unvaccinated 2-year-old? We're all pretty mindful of staying away when the children show signs of illness. I am interested in both medical information and how other parents have navigated this potential risk.
posted by gentian on Jan 7, 2014 - 38 answers

Should I cut off contact with parents who have dysfunctional marriage?

For as long as I can remember, my parents have nasty arguments with each other every few days, including shouting, harsh words, put-downs at each other. When I was a child, they involved me in their marital strife, and I feel damaged from it. I am now in my 30s. I've tried years of therapy for myself to learn how to not be bothered, but I am still very bothered. I want to reduce my contact with them to just occasional phone calls, but I am scared that we'll become estranged and they'll die, and then I'll regret it. Advice from MeFites who have reduced their contact with their parents? [more inside]
posted by cheesecake on Dec 29, 2013 - 24 answers

Returning to a stressful home environment during school breaks

I'm in my early twenties. Whenever I come home during breaks in school, I find the atmosphere at home unbearably stressful. It's so bad that my sister (who is in college and also comes home for breaks) and I prefer to stay literally paralyzed with anxiety in bed all day or either leave the house for most of the day. It mostly boils down to the fact that we can get yelled at for almost anything we do. There is no way to win-- I will get yelled at or criticized or caught in some argument over the most ridiculous thing no matter what I do. Alternatively, I will have to watch my siblings get yelled at for something equally innocuous. My siblings and I walk on eggshells all day. It's exhausting. But I love my parents. I already don't see them very much and I just want to enjoy the time I have with them. How can I better do this? Any tips or strategies to reduce the stress? [more inside]
posted by gemutlichkeit on Dec 29, 2013 - 18 answers

How do I forgive my parents for reacting badly to my pregnancy?

My parents are very religious and do not agree with many of my life choices (I'm gay), but they have worked through their discomfort and I thought we were in a better place. They reacted badly to my new pregnancy and said horrible things which hurt me a lot. Where do I go from here? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 27, 2013 - 29 answers

Forgiving a parent's infidelity

I'm unsure if and how to forgive my father for having an affair. I feel that being unable to get past this, is affecting me as a person and has complicated my relationship with my mother. I'd really like to hear from others who may have come to crossroads with forgiving a loved one, especially anyone who's dealt with a parent's infidelity. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 26, 2013 - 31 answers

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