615 posts tagged with parents.
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Embarrassing parents – encouragement please!

My parents are kind of difficult, and haven't been great parents to me. I find them embarrassing in some ways ( I feel terrible saying that but it’s true). How to navigate feeling insecure about them in front of my boyfriend, and the temptation to act insecure and pissy and create issues in my current relationship because of this? Would be great to hear reassurance from people who've gotten over their partner's difficult or embarrassing parents and loved them anyway, or from those who have difficult parents but haven't let it affect their wonderful relationship. Complicated by other issues (mostly cancer-related) – more inside! [more inside]
posted by starstarstar on Aug 3, 2015 - 19 answers

My Mom and Dad aren't in the fairy tale marriage I thought...

...and it freaks me out! Mom gets snippy and negative with Dad a lot more these days while he tries to sweep it under the rug. My little sister left home last year, and with an empty nest it seems things are changing for them. I'm worried about my parents. More inside. [more inside]
posted by johnpoe50 on Jul 25, 2015 - 31 answers

Saving a Friendship... the "plus 3 year old kid" edition

My very treasured friendship of ten years has become very challenging. The issue is: when my husband and I hang out with my friend, her husband, and their kid, the hubbies hang out and talk shop together, and I hang out with my friend and her kid. I try to help, but I'm kinda ignored and really bored. And I actually LIKE kids. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 20, 2015 - 40 answers

Is it dementia?

My dad has been acting emotionally erratic and saying and doing inappropriate things in the last year. We lost my mom to ALS about 1.5 years ago, and he is understandably depressed. He's repeating stories or anecdotes two or three times in the same conversation. He's using very inappropriate language and subjects around my two young daughters. He also has been doing things like speaking loudly during quiet graduation and funeral services and having disproportionate emotional outbursts. Is this depression, or could it be dementia or Alzheimer's? [more inside]
posted by percor on Jul 6, 2015 - 21 answers

parents hated my boyfriend, but love my sister's boyfriend

My parents didn't accept my boyfriend for about six of the seven years that we've been dating due to his physical disability. Now my younger sister has a new boyfriend whom my parents wholly and happily accept, and as childish as this is, this is bringing up all sorts of unpleasant feelings. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 29, 2015 - 9 answers

Triple gift-giving conundrum

Hi AskMe! Can you help me give a gift to my boyfriend and maybe his parents? [more inside]
posted by jouir on Jun 25, 2015 - 6 answers

Help us survive Vegas on Independence Day

Next week I'll find myself, my partner and our respective mothers in Vegas for the Independence Day weekend. Whilst we're all down with a bit of a spin of the wheel, and some slot time, we're less-so pool party and nightclub people. I read a lot which suggests it is basically going to be pandemonium for the weekend. Help a fella out, and show a pair of 30-somethings, with their late 50-something mothers, how to have fun in Vegas during the holiday weekend. Thanks!
posted by metaxa on Jun 25, 2015 - 11 answers

Can married lesbians be foster parents in Utah?

Mrs. Timp and I have become very interested in becoming foster parents in the next 6-12 months. I have read every many foster parent threads on this website but haven't found the answer to my question. [more inside]
posted by timpanogos on Jun 14, 2015 - 2 answers

How to stop visiting parents so frequently?

Both my parents and parents-in-laws are in the same city. The same city we're in. We feel overwhelmed with the once-a-week visits. How do we mitigate their expectations that we visit so frequently? A storm of culture-specific and special snowflake details follow. [more inside]
posted by spicytunaroll on Jun 10, 2015 - 31 answers

Help me find a hobby for my retired parents

My parents have been together for almost 50 years, with their ups and downs. Because of their individual situations, I'm afraid they'll drift into an unhappy final period of their lives, and I'm trying to figure out something to prevent that. All the details below. [more inside]
posted by caudingo on Jun 9, 2015 - 26 answers

How do I manage the mom calls?

I'm an adult. My mom calls nearly every day. Her calls are almost always at least an hour long. This is extremely draining for me. How do I deal with this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 3, 2015 - 37 answers

How to receive a gift that embarrasses me

My parents are about to give me an embarrassing birthday gift. Help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 30, 2015 - 35 answers

Dealing with parental guidance as an adult child

My parents are kind, generous people, but they are starting to interfere with my life in a way I'm not sure how to handle. [more inside]
posted by cuppycake gumdrops on May 16, 2015 - 36 answers

Help me cry happy sappy mommy tears

I basically want to sob on my couch at how childlike children are and how much parents love them beyond words. [more inside]
posted by sestaaak on May 1, 2015 - 16 answers

Aging, depressed parents in another country

A few years ago my parents, who immigrated to the US (where I was born and raised) moved back to their home country, which is in the Middle East. I'm still in the US. About a year and a half ago my only sibling died unexpectedly, causing all three of us untold amounts of grief. Now they're old, tired, and depressed in a distant country and I don't know what to do. What can I do to improve/feel better about this situation? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 30, 2015 - 6 answers

Mother's Day Lunch In NYC Like The Boathouse?

I'm taking my Mom out for lunch on May 23rd. Normally she'd like to just eat at the bar around the corner when visiting but it's the 'Mothers Day' lunch so I'd like to go up a few notches. Ideally I'd take her to the Central Park Boathouse but they don't do reservations on the weekends. Where can I take her in town that's sufficiently 'nice' to be a special occasion but not overly fancy/exotic/hip and has a full lunch-y lunch menu, not just an egg- brunch? [more inside]
posted by The Whelk on Apr 18, 2015 - 11 answers

The Cycle Continues

Are my kids forever damaged? Can I teach them to show love? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 17, 2015 - 28 answers

Same-Sex Wedding Etiquette: Do We Invite Non-Supportive Parents?

My same-sex partner and I have decided to get married. However, on both sides of our family we have immediate family members who are either tepid or outright hostile to gay marriage--specifically, both sets of parents. Should we extend to them invitations to our wedding anyway out of courtesy or deliberately not invite them? [more inside]
posted by Quaversalis on Apr 15, 2015 - 42 answers

What Should I Do When I Give My Elderly Parents an iPad?

My sister and I are planning on giving our parents a combined Mother's and Father's Day gift of an iPad. What can I/we do to help ease their transition from Luddites into users of tablet computers and the Internet? [more inside]
posted by skitchen on Apr 14, 2015 - 19 answers

Cross-cultural family problems with elderly parents

My parents and I are simply not getting along and I’m struggling to stay true to myself. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 11, 2015 - 11 answers

Telling Parents About Depression

I was interviewed for a national podcast and spoke frankly about my depression and my occasional suicidal thoughts. It airs in six weeks. I've not told my family about my depression. I want to tell them before the podcast airs. How do I do that? [more inside]
posted by Joey Michaels on Apr 5, 2015 - 5 answers

Should I accept power of attorney for my parents?

My parents are in their early 70s and have minor health issues, but are generally doing well and definitely of sound mind. They have lately been planning for the future: consulting an elder care attorney, signing up for long term health care, etc. They have asked me to be their health care proxy and executor (along with another of my siblings), which I'm willing to do since I feel confident that I understand their wishes. However, they also asked me to take on durable power of attorney which I feel less comfortable with. [more inside]
posted by ungratefulninja on Mar 8, 2015 - 24 answers

Coping without having parents?

Coping without parents in your adult life? [more inside]
posted by thelivingsea on Feb 21, 2015 - 21 answers

All aboard the therapy bus

How do I help my girlfriend get the help she needs? [more inside]
posted by switcheroo on Feb 10, 2015 - 18 answers

Looking for info on the impact of having children on happiness

Does having children impact men and women's happiness differently? [more inside]
posted by orsonet on Jan 23, 2015 - 5 answers

Buying Life Insurance and Funeral Insurance for Parents?

Is there a way I can purchase life insurance and/or funeral insurance for my parents, and if so, which would be the best way to do it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 20, 2015 - 4 answers

affectionate videos for a toddler

I'd like to show my toddler videos/tv shows/movies/books that include genuine affection - parents, families, friends all giving hugs or smiles or other close, positive interactions. Any good ideas? [more inside]
posted by jillithd on Jan 16, 2015 - 18 answers

What can my parents do in NYC this Saturday?

My parents will be in NYC this Saturday and Sunday, to celebrate their anniversary. They already have a hotel room in Midtown East. What's a fun activity/show they can attend that isn't too expensive? [more inside]
posted by silverstatue on Jan 14, 2015 - 8 answers

Talking to My Narcissist Parents After a Psych Hospitalization

I've posted here plenty seeking help related to mental health issues (bipolar depression, PTSD, irritability) and also with help talking to my parents. Now those two have merged and I'm trying to figure out how to talk to them while I am also readjusting to the outside world after spending 8 days in an inpatient psych ward. That readjustment is so very hard, and I don't want them pushing my buttons so I have to go back. I'm hoping someone here can help me strategize. Here's what's going on, with apologies for the length. [more inside]
posted by mermaidcafe on Jan 8, 2015 - 23 answers

Perfect storm of familial dysfunctionality--need solutions for sanity

Family dynamics are slowly driving me up the wall, but I can't bear to let things wind destructively. How can I cope without being caught in the storm? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 2, 2015 - 13 answers

My dad uses meth and I don't know what to do.

I just found out my dad does meth and I don't know how to approach him and/or his fiancé. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 31, 2014 - 24 answers

Do I put myself on hold to honor my parents wishes?

I have a great guy and we see a life together, I have the perfect opportunity to move closer to him and growing my career at the same time- however the parents are not cool with it all. Details below. [more inside]
posted by BeSumr on Dec 25, 2014 - 60 answers

Family Drama Filter: Help me distance myself from a parent

I've come to realize over the years that while I love my father, I am so different from him, and do not share his and his wife's (he is remarried) lifestyle and values and really wish I could come to accept it and completely distance myself from them. Please help me do this. [more inside]
posted by SanSebastien on Dec 21, 2014 - 7 answers

Help with belligerent but not elderly Parent

My father is 58 years old and recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. He also may have issues with his colon but that hasn't been confirmed. He has become very aggresive, angry and hostile towards me and my family since the diagnosis. He has a history of acting like this in times of high stress but now he is been extra hurtful. As a result I have stopped talking to him. I feel bad about not being there for him in this difficult time but feel I still deserve respect and that he should be responsible for his words. How do I deal with this? [more inside]
posted by The1andonly on Dec 19, 2014 - 15 answers

Sarasota downtown or "nice walks" lodging with kitchen-type facilities?

Sarasota Where-To-Stay: We want to stay in Sarasota, Florida, USA, Dec. 27-30 to visit with my dude's parents. Can anybody recommend a nice place to stay with kitchenette-type facilities (i.e., at least refrigerator/microwave - or maybe a friendly BNB) with _somewhere_ nice to walk, i.e., not located on a high-traffic road with nothing nearby but uninteresting industrial stuff, nail salons, or chain stores? I'm working with a travel agent, and have looked around a bit myself, so this is a long shot. [more inside]
posted by amtho on Dec 1, 2014 - 3 answers

Should I avoid supporting my aging father?

My father is aging, with heart problems and developing dementia. I am generally a conscientious person, but I'm staring down the necessity of supporting him like the barrel of a gun. Special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 13, 2014 - 39 answers

Imposter syndrome on a massive scale

I'll be turning 25 in two months' time. For a variety of reasons, some of which can be teased out with a thorough reading of my ask history ( chief among them the fall-out of a cerebral palsy diagnosis, namely a llifelong sense of otherness and a lack of familiarity with what it means to be the author of one's own life), I feel like there's a huge discrepancy between that number and the ccoping skills, initative, emotional balance and vision for the future that I have to show for it ( a lack thereof, in my case). How do I adult when I feel so stunted? Vaguely Freudian wall of snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by marsbar77 on Nov 2, 2014 - 14 answers

Tracking Parental Mobile

Is keeping a copy of a Parent's iTunes password ok - so we can track them via iDevice without their knowledge in an emergency. Fill bit icky about it - but special snowflake details inside [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 20, 2014 - 14 answers

Hereditary plate of beans: coping strats for overthinking family.

My overthinking things was making me unhappy... so I cut way back on it, and now I'm enjoying life more. Yay! But now I'm way less tolerant of the same behavior in family and loved ones; trying to ignore it leads to awkward, anxiety-producing silences. Boo. Insert your advice here. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 9, 2014 - 6 answers

Helping my mum cope with my father's death

My father passed away two days ago of a sudden heart attack. I'm in my late twenties and wondering how to go about supporting my mother through this nightmare. [more inside]
posted by miaow on Oct 1, 2014 - 20 answers

I strongly advise you to stop giving me advice!

Please help me come up with some polite but firm ways of asking my father to stop giving me nearly constant unsolicited advice. I see him so rarely as we live in different countries, and I don't want the rest of his visit to be ruined. [more inside]
posted by hazyjane on Sep 28, 2014 - 30 answers

Plan to move to across the country for love. How do I tell my parents?

Since having a manic episode about a year and a half ago, my parents started treating me like I was a minor again (I'm almost 30 now). How do I most respectfully tell them that I'm am going to move without turning it into "I'M NOT ASKING FOR PERMISSION, DAMMIT: I'M MOVING AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME"? Thanks, mefites. [more inside]
posted by defmute on Sep 25, 2014 - 33 answers

My mother is financially irresponsible, is there anything I can do?

My mother is likely to have a lot of upcoming expenses; she is nearing retirement age, she has significant health problems, and she needs to sell a house that needs a lot of expensive repairs. But she is spending amazing amounts of money on things she doesn't need, and I am really worried about her future. I am living paycheck-to-paycheck and won't be able to help her at all. Can I or should I say anything? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 24, 2014 - 15 answers

Parental drama - and we're supposedly adults.

My (divorced) father is having a family party in a few weeks to celebrate his retirement. Due to recent actions he has taken against my mother, my younger brother will not attend, and is in fact not speaking to our father right now. Several people at the party are liable to bring this all up. How do I diffuse this drama so it doesn't blow up? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 24, 2014 - 42 answers

Can/Should We Get Past This?

We moved in together, but things are going poorly. Not sure where to go from here. [more inside]
posted by Gray Skies on Sep 17, 2014 - 39 answers

Screen vs physical books: parents modeling reading

Looking for writing (books, articles, blog posts, etc) about parents reading on screens instead of in physical books, and how that might impact kids' impressions of reading [more inside]
posted by Ideal Impulse on Sep 7, 2014 - 2 answers

Help me prevent parental visit from turning into an apocalyptic event

Emotionally abusive parents are coming to visit. Difficulty level: boyfriend introduction. How do I deal with the fallout? [more inside]
posted by phoenix_rising on Aug 29, 2014 - 67 answers

Spending quality time with my parents

My parents, while still active (in their 50s), are getting older and some days I feel acutely aware that time is finite. How can I best spend time with my parents and show them that I care about them and that I am grateful for all they have done for me? This can include gifts they might appreciate, but I'm mostly asking about things I can do to maximize the quality of the time and the relationship I have with my parents. [more inside]
posted by gemutlichkeit on Aug 23, 2014 - 21 answers

Setting parental boundaries

My father and I have a complicated history that colors our present relationship. Help me figure out how to set compassionate boundaries. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 19, 2014 - 11 answers

How to talk to my parents about my special needs brother

I (24yo F) live independently here in DC and have a good life. I have a great full-time job that pays pretty well for someone my age, go to grad school part time, and have a happy social life. I have an excellent relationship with my parents, but I need to talk to them about how my special needs sibling (21yo M) affects my life in the present and the future. I get along very well with my parents, but I'm not sure how to broach this topic in a way that is productive and respectful. [more inside]
posted by schroedingersgirl on Aug 19, 2014 - 24 answers

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