Some friends and I would like to create (and work through) a reading list of current, thoughtful, thought provoking, but non-alarmist articles and/or books on helping kids create a healthy relationship with technology. The immediate focus is on elementary and middle school kids, but we'd expand it for general thought-provoking material on topic. [more inside]
Flying in the face of scientists' warnings, my wife and I allow our child to play with the iPad from time to time. She's outgrown most of the apps she previously played with -- does anyone have any recommendations for good puzzle, games, and educational apps that would be age-appropriate and interesting for a twenty-month-old? Thanks.
Please help me find a good book gift for my amazing manager who is leaving before Christmas - after fifteen years in HR, she has decided to spend some time with her two school-age kids, one of whom is disabled and needs more time of her than she can manage whilst working. [more inside]
While at a small family gathering in our friends' home, my coworker's 7-year-old son suddenly grabbed a 4-year-old girl, raised her up into the air over his head, and body-slammed her onto the living room floor -- in full and complete view of 8 parents, including both of his own. His parents never did or said anything to him about it that night, and we're all horrified. How do we get to a place of acceptance when folks make vastly different parenting choices than our own, and our kids see it? Details ... [more inside]
What can I do as a parent to help my child build persistence, self-discipline, high standards, and work ethic? [more inside]
A recent AskMe thread and this answer in particular has me re-examining an experience I had a while back, when exhibiting at a show. One of the other exhibitors had her four-year-old child along. I'm sure that if she had any other choice she would have left her child at home. But I kept feeling like her attitude about her child and their impact on the rest of the show and the other exhibitors was....lax? And I'm trying to figure out if I'm being an unfair childless jerk. In part because I hope to have my own kids someday, and if I do, I may very well be in her same position. [more inside]
I'm stuck in the town where I just finished university, because I'm engaged to Jake, who has a child here, Finn. Jake had Finn with Kaitlyn when she was 16 and he was 18. Finn is now 4. I could move anywhere I want and make a living. I'm happy with Jake, but I'm unhappy with life as a whole, depressed, have low self-esteem. Jake has only limited contact rights to his son and a whole lot of trouble with Kaitlyn, who hates me. We live together and I am the sole-earner in this household, in the awful UK economy. I haven't left the house all year, I've just been working yet I'm still in debt and I want to get away. On the other hand I love Jake, we have so much in common and we never even argue, even though the year that we've been together life has been very difficult. We really love and respect each other. I have great hope in him, I'm excited to meet his son and I think we could make a life together. Except it would all take years. And I'm at the end of my tether and want to leave now. [more inside]
I have a bright, funny middle schooler who now has little interest in anything or anybody. He has no behavioral problems but can't focus on anything or connect with anyone, and it's affecting his home, school, and social life. If he was happy to live in his head, I could understand that, but he is frequently bored and lonely, and he seems incapable of making connections, both to other people and to new ideas. Can anyone give me some strategies or guidelines for working with him? [more inside]
I've recently come to the conclusion that I need to spend more time with my 3.5-year-old boy/girl twins, and looking for some structured activities/things to do to help drive it and get them excited, as they generally prefer my wife over me... [more inside]
I'd like to convey as much wisdom/advice as possible to my kids before they become feral teenagers drenched in Axe and scorn. Please share the best lists/essays/articles you've ever seen on the theme of "Teaching Your Kids About ______". [more inside]
My son is currently applying to a service academy for college. This is all he has ever wanted since he was a small child. He has worked his tail off so far and is now frozen on the essays. I have no idea how to help him. [more inside]
MINML (metafilter is not my lawyer, but oh man, that would be one kick ass lawyer) Have you even been thru mediation with an ex-spouse over parenting plan stuff? If so, I have some basic quesitons...brief background below... [more inside]
As a parent and father, how do I, or how can I or should I, deal with parents of other children whose badly behaved kids do something mean or nasty to my own kid? [more inside]
My three year old has a very hard time waking up from his nap in the afternoon. Today he cried and screamed and complained for almost an hour. Help me find a way to avoid this. [more inside]
I need advice, a life coach, a parenting coach, a therapist. In the meantime, please help me to determine the seriousness and most of all what to do when my 11 yo son is so distraught over a series of seemingly trivial events. Please help me know what to say. [more inside]
I'm looking for advice for helping my 5 year old (new kindergartener) daughter deal with what looks like nascent perfectionist tendencies. [more inside]
Parents: I'm wondering how your kids learned things like empathy, honesty, compassion, etc. I know that setting a good example is probably the #1 thing to do, and I plan to, but did you use other ways, like reading (fiction) kids' books with them that demonstrate these things? Am I overthinking this? I want to raise a kid with a conscience...
I've looked at the archives but couldn't find much specific to my situation. I have been breastfeeding my nine week old since he was born, but recently things have gotten more painful. It's never been easy or pain free, but lately nursing has resulted in so much bleeding that my poor little guy is spitting up pink/red after a feeding. I have four days left of maternity leave and an appointment with my OB in two Thursdays, but is there anything I can do in the meantime to make feedings a little less upsetting for both of us? [more inside]
I am a 32 year old female and have a full-time job. I've been working from home for 6 years now. My boyfriend and I are talking about marriage and having a baby. We're trying to figure out if it's going to be possible for me to still work full-time from home while also raising a baby. I found a lot of articles about it being possible to cut back on hours or work part-time only, but I don't want to do that (insurance and financial reasons). He works full-time as well and not from home and we want to try to avoid day care (or at least use it minimally). Has anyone ever successfully done this? If so, I'd love to know how. What was good/bad about it?
My daughter's on the other side of the ocean for a little while, but we keep up with daily video chats. We talk, goof around, make faces, play with puppets, but I sometimes wish I had more ideas to keep her entertained. Can you think of any other fun things we could do? [more inside]
I have just found out that my ex and the father of my child did something twenty-odd years ago that has had permanent ramifications for both our child and his daughter with his former wife (the daughter is 9 years older than our son). I was unaware of this until Sunday, when I visited the former wife (who lives in another city) and we had a long and intense conversation under the shadow of the terminal diagnosis she received earlier this year. What do I do now? [more inside]
Our four-year-old is hell-on-wheels. We have an appointment this week with his pediatrician to discuss his behavior. What do I want to read up on before this chat? [more inside]
Little daughter and I were watching a birds' nest this morning where four little sparrows were getting fed by their mom (or maybe dad?) Each time the mother bird came back, all four sparrows would screech and open their mouths wide and the mother would give one of them some food. My question is: how does the mother ensure that each chick gets enough food? I can think of at least two theories: 1. The adult bird has enough working memory to know who got the last bit of food, or even who's gone the longest without food; or 2. Hungrier chicks screech louder and the adult bird gives food to the loudest screecher. Do we know which of these is right, or whether the real answer is something else entirely?
I did something colossally stupid this evening: Put up some pasta on the stove and then fell promptly asleep for a little while on the couch. Woke up to a terrible smell of natural gas. Found the water in the pot had spilled over and doused the flame of the burner it was cooking on. With the gas on high. It was probably like that for about 10 minutes or so. And now, four hours later, the house still has a strong-ish odor. Here is my question: does the smell indicate that gas is still present in the house, and if so, should I be concerned for the health and safety of my small children, who are sleeping a hallway away from the kitchen? [more inside]
My baby is getting to the age where taking care of him is a bit more complicated than just making sure he's fed and slept. I'm looking for your parenting hacks and habits -- things you've learned that make raising kids (toddler age and older) just work a little better. [more inside]
My first child is turning 6 months soon and I've been home with him since he was born. It's finally starting to settle in that this is my job now. Other stay-at-home parents: what do you do all day, and how do you stave off the boredom, loneliness, and exhaustion that come with the territory? Some snowflake details inside. [more inside]
I am, for the first time, in a relationship as a single father. So far it's going quite well, which brings up a variety of questions about what might happen in the future. One day I would like to be married again, which would put whoever I marry in the position of being my daughter's step-mother. How would I get from here to there? [more inside]
My ex-wife suddenly vanished over 2 years ago to her native Asian country, leaving behind a son (then 1, now 3) and daughter (then 6, now 8). Contact was intermittent (sometimes once a week and sometimes every three months). I asked her to commit to a regularly scheduled call and she refused to do so. I also found the phone calls to be borderline abusive to my daughter (the daughter would ask, "Mommy when are you coming back," and the mother would reply, "When are you going to come see me?" which caused the daughter to feel responsible for her absence - or the Skype video chats where the daughter would have the camera on but the mother refused to do so). I have since cut off contact with the mother in order to protect my daughter, though wonder if it is the correct decision. [more inside]
How disturbed should we be by our 5-year-old's sexual behavior toward her father? [more inside]
My ten year old wants to spend most of her summer days on the couch streaming TV over our roku. It is a zillion degrees outside with 200% humidity, so I sort of understand the couch potato impulse. How can I direct her so that her couch potato time doesn't spud her brain? [more inside]
OK, similar questions have been asked here but I'm looking for a very specific answer. My insurance covers two kinds of Medela breast pumps (which friends tell me are the best): The Pump In Style Advanced (at a cost to me of $89), and the Freestyle ($159). It also covers the Medela Advanced Personal Double Breast Pump, about which I know nothing including the cost to me. I've read mixed things about the two pumps: That the Freestyle is great, or that people have experienced reduced flow after using it; and that the Pump in Style is great, but that it's very inconvenient. If you're among the lucky ladies who've had personal experience with these pumps, can you tell me what you think? This is our first kid and I think I'd really benefit from your advice. Thanks!
My four and a half year-old son has expressed an interest in blues music. Can you help me find enough great blues songs to fill a mixtape for him that are: a) electric; b) kinda rockin'; and c) not overly lyrically troublesome for a preschool-aged tyke? [more inside]
We'd like to at least consider cloth diapering twins, mainly for environmental reasons (which, by the way, Is it totally settled that cloth diapering is greener? We live in SoCal so water is more of an issue than in most areas). Has anyone tried it, either with singletons and multiples, and would you recommend it for twins? If so, any specifics on brands/methods/tips would be great.
Boston MetroWest parent filter: I need an affordable full-time preschool in Needham, MA or between Needham and North Waltham. And by "affordable" I mean < $1000/month. My son will be 3 in October. [more inside]
I want to read more about alternative family structures in queer communities, particularly trans* communities, particularly communities of and for queer transpeople of color. What can you recommend? [more inside]
Seeking wisdom from the experienced: pros and cons of working full time vs. raising kids full time ? [more inside]
Does an OSX app exist which will limit the use of a single application? Nothing in the parental controls seems to be able to limit time spent in a given application. [more inside]
My (boy / girl) twins will be entering kindergarten this September. We've been asked if we want them placed into separate classes, or left together in the same class. Need to give them our answer by Monday and frankly, I'm at a loss and have no idea what I should do. If you are a parent of school-age or older twins, can you please share what you did and why? If you yourself are a twin, how did your parents handle it? How did it work out? Other knowledgeable anecdotes and advice welcome. Links to any online resources I can read on the topic would also be appreciated.
My daughter is 10 and in the midst of puberty. She has noticeable armpit hair. She's also fairly naive/unaware of standard social stuff - not clued in to what's "cool" etc. She also gets teased about being weird pretty regularly. She's also going to sleepaway camp for the first time this summer, and will be wearing a bathing suit a lot... [more inside]
When did childhood immunizations become so controversial? I don't recall their being any issues with immunization because the science clearly shows it is helpful to mankind. So I wonder what the issue is. I thought of this while reading a news story about it just now.
I noticed that I may treat kids like how my parents treat them. How do I de-program myself from thinking like them? [more inside]
My 14 month old son cries and screams every waking moment he's with me. This has gone on for months, and it's killing me. Please help me understand what's going on and how I can make it stop. [more inside]
I would like suggestions regarding an age- and behavior-appropriate punishment for my 14-year old son. [more inside]
I need help teaching my 4 year old how to not interrupt and how to be silent when necessary. [more inside]
Are you an adult in a two-parent, dual-income family? Do you have kids of school age? Could you give me an idea of how much "adult" time you have in a normal week? I don't mean just sex, anything that's not kid-dominated would count: date night, beers, whatever. Pop culture makes having kids out to be all-consuming from just about conception until college but I don't have any real-world frame of reference for it so I'm trying to calibrate myself.
My 1.5 year old niece starts crying whenever she sees me and it breaks my heart. This has been happening since she was 7 months old and I can't understand what I've done to cause it. It's upsetting me enough to make me ask about it here. [more inside]
My precocious but angry 2.75-year-old and I just got fired from our home daycare situation. I feel like I need Super Nanny. What now? How do I get him to stop being so rude? [more inside]
What should I remember to do when preparing for a life event that will take all my time and energy? [more inside]
My kids (currently 6 and 9) have become voracious readers. We have a large and varied collection of excellent fiction for them, but the non-fiction collection is more haphazard. They love learning new facts as they read (the type of thing that makes them look up from the book and say, "Did you know...?"). I want to make sure that the collection of books gives them a good introduction to fields where I myself may not have enough knowledge to judge the quality/accuracy of the book. So what's the kid's book in your field that makes you say, "If only every kid got to read this book, people would understand [topic] better."? [more inside]
I'm a dad and my oldest - now a pre-teen, who this year started at high school - is always tired and hates exercise. She was very active when she was younger but pressures of long school hours and homework have squeezed all that out of the calendar. Plus of course she's the age when children's bodies dramatically change size and shape and that's perfectly normal. Given all that, what's the best way I can help her to stay as fit and healthy as possible? What has helped for your kids? [more inside]