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How can a child make their parent feel bad about their parenting?

Friends told me the reason I'm emotionally unstable is probably mainly because of how I grew up and I needed to reconcile with my dad. [more inside]
posted by pelu on May 21, 2014 - 54 answers

Insurance for a New Baby?

We're expecting our first in a few weeks! How and when do we get insurance coverage for the little one? [more inside]
posted by mmmbacon on May 20, 2014 - 14 answers

Communication Resources for Children of Narcissistic Parents

My sister was recently given a talking-to at work for her tone, after she unknowingly made one of her employees cry. She's been told she talks to people like they're stupid. And despite the fact that she is a very sweet, loving, and compassionate person, she does do that sometimes. She's not always aware of it happening, but sometimes she is, and she says it's hard to stop. Our mother was the same way, and what my sister says is, "Sometimes I feel Mom's voice coming out of me, and I hate it but I can't stop it." She's asked me for some resources that will help her learn how to communicate better, and be aware of her tone and fix it when necessary. It's especially important to her now that she's pregnant and doesn't want to talk to her child the way our mother talked to us. Any suggestions for her? I've already got Non-Violent Communication on the list, and I'm looking for good resources for children of narcissistic mothers. What else?
posted by rhiannonstone on May 14, 2014 - 8 answers

Stop biting behavior in an SPD/ASD kid?

Our young (<6) child has sensory processing issues, and is lashing out physically when she is overwhelmed. We don't want to pull her from a generally beneficial school, and she's already in occupational therapy, what else can we do to stop the aggressive behavior? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 13, 2014 - 11 answers

My preschooler is the slowest eater on the planet

I have a 3 1/2 year old who will be starting preschool in the fall. He currently attends a home daycare, where he has breakfast and lunch, and often dinner. Once he starts preschool, we will have to manage breakfast and dinner at home. He is an incredibly slow eater and when we eat dinner at home, it literally takes him until bedtime to eat. This makes breakfast a major challenge as well. Getting him up earlier doesn't necessarily help because then he's groggy and uncooperative and will spend that extra 20 minutes moving at the speed of molasses in terms of getting dressed and toothbrushed. Please help. [more inside]
posted by telepanda on May 12, 2014 - 31 answers

Best ways to discuss new pregnancy with stepchild?

My husband and I have been married almost a year (lived together before that) and have a good relationship with his 12-year-old son, who lives about an hour away and is with us in summers and every other weekend. Now I am pregnant. We are excited to tell stepson this weekend, but I want to think a bit about... [more inside]
posted by bluedeans on Apr 25, 2014 - 20 answers

What details could be worked out before having a child with a friend?

I am considering having a child with a friend to whom I am not married. We would be living separately, but would have joint legal and physical custody. What might be some details that we should work out ahead of time? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 23, 2014 - 29 answers

Resources for ADHD in children

So... I am 99% positive that my three-and-a-half year old daughter has an ADHD diagnoses in her future. She is the poster child for literally every symptom on the "10 early signs" list, and family members/care providers/random aquaintences have all asked "do you think...?" So while of course I will eventually do the appropriate screenings etc - what I'm looking for here are anecdotes, experiences, research and strategies for a parent of a child with ADHD (or, you know, who exhibits all the behaviors and issues of one who does). [more inside]
posted by celtalitha on Apr 9, 2014 - 29 answers

How young is too young for dyed hair?

My son is 12, and he's set on dying his hair jet black. I'm not sure what reasons I should give if I tell him no, or what consequences may arise if I tell him yes. I'm hoping to hear from some of you with experience raising, teaching, or being a child like this. [more inside]
posted by bibliowench on Apr 8, 2014 - 80 answers

non-traditional parenting for dummies

What resources exist for non-romantic adult friends thinking about having a kid? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2014 - 16 answers

How do I get to know my parents as people?

After seeing and reading about the death of parents, one of the biggest regrets seems to be not knowing them better. I have a cordial but distance relationship from my parents and while I don't ever see us being BFFs, I would like to know them better as people and their life. How do I do this, considering I live 6 states away? [more inside]
posted by lpcxa0 on Mar 26, 2014 - 21 answers

How do I talk to my daughter about pulling her out of ballet classes?

My 4 year old daughter goes to ballet lessons and really likes them. She’s looking forward to a recital in about 8 weeks. Unfortunately, we need to pull her out of classes at her current studio and enroll her some place else. How do my partner and I frame this issue with my daughter so she doesn’t feel terrible? [more inside]
posted by elmer benson on Mar 20, 2014 - 49 answers

Parenting books reco's needed

Looking for recommendations on parenting books dealing with tips, advice, strategies on the following topics for parenting young children (5-10): how to set different behavioral expectations for siblings of different ages (greater expectations for older children, given capacity), responsibility / accountability for ones actions and the effects of ones behavior on other people ( managing belongings, homework, punctuality, behavior management in special situations ie. there are times for wild/exuberant play and fun but the airport or funerals are are not such times) Not interested in any books with a religious or corporal punishment bent. [more inside]
posted by walkinginsunshine on Mar 19, 2014 - 10 answers

Father about to be diagnosed with cancer needs help with life insurance

I'm 49 and my wife is 44. We have two small children 7 and 2 and do not own life insurance. Last Friday, we learned my wife has breast cancer, and the same day found out there is a likelihood I could be diagnosed with bladder cancer in the following weeks. Is there any kind of life insurance which I should quickly try to secure in the short time I have while I am still basically healthy? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 18, 2014 - 15 answers

The only disability in life is a bad attitude.

Should I disclose my son's ASD and ADHD to other parents when he goes on playdates where we are not present? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 18, 2014 - 27 answers

Young toddler bedtime: doin' it wrong?

Bedtime has always been a production with our now 13 month old, and unfortunately I don't know many parents of similarly-aged kids to calibrate against. Does this routine seem normal/okay to you for this age? Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by annekate on Mar 16, 2014 - 28 answers

Scaredypants!

My soon-to-be 3-year-old daughter is pretty timid, physically. It's nothing crippling or even worrisome, but still…c'mon kid, geez, just jump! You'll be fine! [more inside]
posted by 2or3whiskeysodas on Mar 10, 2014 - 34 answers

Fun experiments with an electronics kit for a 7 year old

I would love some suggestions for science experiments with the Cambridge BrainBox electronics kit. [more inside]
posted by snarfois on Mar 7, 2014 - 7 answers

School recommended the most dreadful book for my kindergartener-to-be.

Last night, I read a book to my four-and-a-half year old. He will go to kindergarten next year, and this book was recommended by the school (email blast to new parents) as something that will "help kids prepare for kindergarten". The book turned out to be wildly age-inappropriate and generally horrible! I feel that I ought to do something about it beside posting a 1-star Amazon review, but I don't know what. [more inside]
posted by rada on Feb 28, 2014 - 41 answers

What to do? Teenager is a Bum.

What do we do about this depressed / unmotivated / lazy kid? Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 28, 2014 - 72 answers

What's more important? Parental presence or top schooling?

Okay, this may well be a false choice but I'm trying to sort this out in my mind -- I see two roads ahead of us, one in which we stay where we are currently living -- an underwater house in good shape in a middling-to-poor neighborhood (but with adjacent nicer amenities) -- which is affordable and where we are making enough money to save for all the things we need to save for (retirement, college, cash savings, etc.). OR, we can buy our way into a nicer neighborhood and school district, keeping this house as a rental. Right now my husband and I are both working at well-paying jobs and our 3-year-old is in full-time daycare. My goal, when she starts kindergarten in 3 years, is to work 3/4 or less time, so that I am home with her after school and do to this for the rest of her school years. [more inside]
posted by amanda on Feb 15, 2014 - 32 answers

Is it rude to bring a baby to a bed & breakfast?

Wifey and I are headed to Hawaii for our first vacation post-pregnancy. We've loved staying at B&B's in the past, but don't want our hosts or other guests to cringe when we show up with our 6-month-old daughter. Be honest: have we outgrown this mode of lodging?? [more inside]
posted by atreyu on Feb 15, 2014 - 13 answers

I can't even get myself to stick to a schedule...

Looking for books on baby care/baby development which don't focus on getting the baby into a routine. [more inside]
posted by Catseye on Feb 14, 2014 - 12 answers

Smart phone for a smart-but-still-naive kid

Our oldest child is about to turn 13 and desperately wants a cell phone and an email address. We see both good and bad in this, but we agree that he's matured a lot in the last year and he's old enough (and mature enough) to start learning how to use and live with these things. That said, we're a bit apprehensive, for all of the obvious reasons. With those things in mind, MeFi parents of tweens and young teens: how are approaching/handling your child's cell phone and email usage? [more inside]
posted by mosk on Feb 14, 2014 - 13 answers

Book Recommendation For Raising a Gifted Child

Looking for specific recommendations for books on raising a gifted child. [more inside]
posted by plinth on Feb 14, 2014 - 9 answers

Toddler rude to papa

Three months ago we produced a new baby (yay us!). Toddler Nom (not quite three years old) has adapted as well as one might expect. But now she acts like she doesn't like her papa anymore. How do we react? [more inside]
posted by Omnomnom on Feb 11, 2014 - 36 answers

Media recommendations for a gender-nonconforming 3-year-old boy

I’m looking some age-appropriate media that will show my bright, sensitive 3 year old son (who seems to be more interested in all things femme every day) that his interests are okay. He has lots of female family members and friends who demonstrate to him that there are a million different ways of being a woman or a girl. But neither his dad nor I is feminine in the slightest, and most of the men in his life are uniformly masculine. I’d love it if he could see positive representations of boys and men in books and TV who have a wider variety of gender expressions. [more inside]
posted by libraritarian on Jan 27, 2014 - 32 answers

Should I worry about my 2-year-old playing with unvaccinated kids?

I have read articles about herd immunity and I understand the concept. But, boots on the ground, should I worry about my vaccinated son occasionally playing with a partially vaccinated 4-year-old and a completely unvaccinated 2-year-old? We're all pretty mindful of staying away when the children show signs of illness. I am interested in both medical information and how other parents have navigated this potential risk.
posted by gentian on Jan 7, 2014 - 38 answers

"How could I bring a child into this world?" The climate change edition.

Many people I know who aren't global warming skeptics are still planning to procreate. Though I might like to have a kid someday, the thought of their future quality of life strikes me as a potentially decisive ethical objection to it. While I've seen plenty of arguments against procreation that deal with the ethics of creating more consumers, that issue is distinct from the ethics of creating new sufferers. Can you point me to any well-reasoned arguments--whether yours or something you've seen, on either side of the issue--that deal with the ethics of choosing to bring children into a hotter world? [more inside]
posted by Beardman on Jan 3, 2014 - 41 answers

How can I help my friend come out to play with baby around?

I've only seen my best friend outside of his house twice this year. He and his wife have a 15-month-old baby boy, and they ignore, decline or don't make it to every social engagement because the baby might cry, or the baby is sleeping. They've all but stopped communicating with me. Help me understand why this is so hard for them, and if there is there any advice I can use or pass on that can help? [more inside]
posted by cogat on Dec 27, 2013 - 55 answers

Feminist basics for dads?

I'd like to get some recommendations on the basics of feminism, especially as it might relate to things a dad can do to help his daughters prepare for and deal with sexism in society and also do his part in understanding the world and making it a better place for women (and by extension all people). [more inside]
posted by Reverend John on Dec 21, 2013 - 34 answers

I don't know how she does it! .....no really, please tell me...

As I mentioned in this question, I'm a single mom of an 8 month old. My question in a nutshell is, how in the hell do working single parents do it? [more inside]
posted by argyle dreams on Dec 17, 2013 - 23 answers

Mama I do it! Mama you do it!

I have a 2 year old (26 months to be very precise). We have entered the phase of "I do it!", which is okay in and of itself, but a pattern is starting to appear. He wants to, say, put on his coat himself. Great! Usually one of 2 things happens: he puts it on himself (about 10% of the time), or as soon as I hand him the coat he insists that I do it. So I start to do it, but I get a tearful "MAMA I DO IT!" He creates an impasse where I can't help him but he refuses to do what he says he wants to do. [more inside]
posted by DrGirlfriend on Dec 13, 2013 - 29 answers

How to have a life long close relationship with your kids ?

Recently seeing a lot of disappointment from parents/ grown children regarding their parents/ grown children. Both sides disillusioned with the difference between who they want/ need the other to be/do and who they actually are/ do. What has kept you close to your parents/ children? [more inside]
posted by oink on Dec 12, 2013 - 44 answers

What's in a name, anyway?

My husband and I are expecting our first child, a girl, due in 2 months and are having a serious naming dilemma. We are both worried about the possibility of our chosen name leading to teasing. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 11, 2013 - 78 answers

Taking care of 2 babies without someone's head exploding?

When I got pregnant, my brother and sister-in-law immediately offered SIL as our daycare provider as she'd be at home with their baby anyway. Sweet! Now I'm 2 months from going back to work, however, and she's getting (understandable) cold feet about the idea of caring for 2 babies at the same time. Not sweet. :( Looking for suggestions on how our families can make this work, because trying to figure out a different daycare/nanny option in the next 2 months is giving me hives (plus I'd love for my son to be cared for by family if possible). Wall o' relevant details inside... [more inside]
posted by laeren on Dec 7, 2013 - 30 answers

Readings for parents about kids' healthy/responsible use of technology

Some friends and I would like to create (and work through) a reading list of current, thoughtful, thought provoking, but non-alarmist articles and/or books on helping kids create a healthy relationship with technology. The immediate focus is on elementary and middle school kids, but we'd expand it for general thought-provoking material on topic. [more inside]
posted by cocoagirl on Dec 7, 2013 - 3 answers

iPad puzzles and games for a 20-month-old

Flying in the face of scientists' warnings, my wife and I allow our child to play with the iPad from time to time. She's outgrown most of the apps she previously played with -- does anyone have any recommendations for good puzzle, games, and educational apps that would be age-appropriate and interesting for a twenty-month-old? Thanks.
posted by gerryblog on Dec 6, 2013 - 11 answers

Book recommendation for feminist soon-to-stay-at-home mum

Please help me find a good book gift for my amazing manager who is leaving before Christmas - after fifteen years in HR, she has decided to spend some time with her two school-age kids, one of whom is disabled and needs more time of her than she can manage whilst working. [more inside]
posted by coffee_monster on Nov 18, 2013 - 4 answers

Not disciplining 7-y.o. boy for publicly battering younger girl - WTF?

While at a small family gathering in our friends' home, my coworker's 7-year-old son suddenly grabbed a 4-year-old girl, raised her up into the air over his head, and body-slammed her onto the living room floor -- in full and complete view of 8 parents, including both of his own. His parents never did or said anything to him about it that night, and we're all horrified. How do we get to a place of acceptance when folks make vastly different parenting choices than our own, and our kids see it? Details ... [more inside]
posted by hush on Nov 15, 2013 - 55 answers

Raising kids with "grit"

What can I do as a parent to help my child build persistence, self-discipline, high standards, and work ethic? [more inside]
posted by Bardolph on Nov 13, 2013 - 44 answers

Wandering Kids at a Exhibition

A recent AskMe thread and this answer in particular has me re-examining an experience I had a while back, when exhibiting at a show. One of the other exhibitors had her four-year-old child along. I'm sure that if she had any other choice she would have left her child at home. But I kept feeling like her attitude about her child and their impact on the rest of the show and the other exhibitors was....lax? And I'm trying to figure out if I'm being an unfair childless jerk. In part because I hope to have my own kids someday, and if I do, I may very well be in her same position. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 6, 2013 - 32 answers

My partner has a child, he's feuding with the mother, I can't handle it

I'm stuck in the town where I just finished university, because I'm engaged to Jake, who has a child here, Finn. Jake had Finn with Kaitlyn when she was 16 and he was 18. Finn is now 4. I could move anywhere I want and make a living. I'm happy with Jake, but I'm unhappy with life as a whole, depressed, have low self-esteem. Jake has only limited contact rights to his son and a whole lot of trouble with Kaitlyn, who hates me. We live together and I am the sole-earner in this household, in the awful UK economy. I haven't left the house all year, I've just been working yet I'm still in debt and I want to get away. On the other hand I love Jake, we have so much in common and we never even argue, even though the year that we've been together life has been very difficult. We really love and respect each other. I have great hope in him, I'm excited to meet his son and I think we could make a life together. Except it would all take years. And I'm at the end of my tether and want to leave now. [more inside]
posted by mangoprawn on Oct 29, 2013 - 72 answers

How can I get my preteen son out of his head?

I have a bright, funny middle schooler who now has little interest in anything or anybody. He has no behavioral problems but can't focus on anything or connect with anyone, and it's affecting his home, school, and social life. If he was happy to live in his head, I could understand that, but he is frequently bored and lonely, and he seems incapable of making connections, both to other people and to new ideas. Can anyone give me some strategies or guidelines for working with him? [more inside]
posted by bibliowench on Oct 28, 2013 - 47 answers

Projects/Activities for 3-year-olds

I've recently come to the conclusion that I need to spend more time with my 3.5-year-old boy/girl twins, and looking for some structured activities/things to do to help drive it and get them excited, as they generally prefer my wife over me... [more inside]
posted by um_maverick on Oct 28, 2013 - 30 answers

There's Only So Much Wisdom I Can Impart In Between Their Fart Jokes!

I'd like to convey as much wisdom/advice as possible to my kids before they become feral teenagers drenched in Axe and scorn. Please share the best lists/essays/articles you've ever seen on the theme of "Teaching Your Kids About ______". [more inside]
posted by julthumbscrew on Oct 22, 2013 - 14 answers

Help me help my son get into college

My son is currently applying to a service academy for college. This is all he has ever wanted since he was a small child. He has worked his tail off so far and is now frozen on the essays. I have no idea how to help him. [more inside]
posted by davenportmom on Oct 13, 2013 - 28 answers

Mediation blues

MINML (metafilter is not my lawyer, but oh man, that would be one kick ass lawyer) Have you even been thru mediation with an ex-spouse over parenting plan stuff? If so, I have some basic quesitons...brief background below... [more inside]
posted by ian1977 on Oct 12, 2013 - 14 answers

Dealing With Strangers (Other Parents and Kids) As A Parent and Father

As a parent and father, how do I, or how can I or should I, deal with parents of other children whose badly behaved kids do something mean or nasty to my own kid? [more inside]
posted by Effigy2000 on Oct 8, 2013 - 22 answers

Help with post-nap

My three year old has a very hard time waking up from his nap in the afternoon. Today he cried and screamed and complained for almost an hour. Help me find a way to avoid this. [more inside]
posted by bq on Sep 17, 2013 - 23 answers

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