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Accepting things as they are - parenting edition.

Can you help me accept my limitations as a parent? My child is going through a rough period and I feel like I failed them. I am not going to give any specific examples because I am looking for more general info. So, I’m looking for ideas (books and articles are also welcome) on how to deal with the fact that I cannot protect my children from unhappiness. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 29, 2014 - 15 answers

My wife is overworked and stressed and it's making me resentful

My wife is overworked, underslept, and stressed, and I wanted to know if anybody had any advice that might be helpful. She has a job that requires long hours and causes her a lot of stress that she is committed to until the end of the school year. On top of that, she has a job for a few hours every weekend that she is committed to for a while as well. We also have a two year old daughter and we are climbing out of debt. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 21, 2014 - 35 answers

What happens when Mom breaks the rules?

My sister smokes pot recreationally. She has young kids who know about it and are really bothered by it. Where does a concerned aunt step in? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 8, 2014 - 40 answers

Sharing custody, but the kid only wants to be with me.

I share custody (50/50, week on - week off) of my eight-year-old with her dad, and have since he and I split up over three years ago. Lately she's been spending all of her time at his house crying for me. Since she can't point to any tangible problems to fix, I don't know what to do. Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 21, 2014 - 24 answers

Daughter with mental illness moving out, practical advice?

19 year old is moving out to a rented room this week. We live in a city where young adults typically live with family until marriage or 30s, and her four siblings (one older, three younger) live with us. The decision to ask her to move out if she escalated in breaking household rules (no drugs, porn, sex-work, hold down a job or school, don't abuse other family members) has been run past her psychiatrist and long-planned. She's excited to live on her own with no restrictions, we are terrified due to her long history of risky behavior and struggles with borderline personality disorder and PTSD from abuse. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 21, 2014 - 17 answers

A special book for a special dad.

We are expecting our first child and I am an excited and joyful father to be. I would like a book or a pair of books on pregnancy and child rearing with special conditions. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 15, 2014 - 10 answers

Stop biting behavior in an SPD/ASD kid?

Our young (<6) child has sensory processing issues, and is lashing out physically when she is overwhelmed. We don't want to pull her from a generally beneficial school, and she's already in occupational therapy, what else can we do to stop the aggressive behavior? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 13, 2014 - 11 answers

What details could be worked out before having a child with a friend?

I am considering having a child with a friend to whom I am not married. We would be living separately, but would have joint legal and physical custody. What might be some details that we should work out ahead of time? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 23, 2014 - 29 answers

non-traditional parenting for dummies

What resources exist for non-romantic adult friends thinking about having a kid? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2014 - 16 answers

Father about to be diagnosed with cancer needs help with life insurance

I'm 49 and my wife is 44. We have two small children 7 and 2 and do not own life insurance. Last Friday, we learned my wife has breast cancer, and the same day found out there is a likelihood I could be diagnosed with bladder cancer in the following weeks. Is there any kind of life insurance which I should quickly try to secure in the short time I have while I am still basically healthy? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 18, 2014 - 15 answers

The only disability in life is a bad attitude.

Should I disclose my son's ASD and ADHD to other parents when he goes on playdates where we are not present? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 18, 2014 - 27 answers

What to do? Teenager is a Bum.

What do we do about this depressed / unmotivated / lazy kid? Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 28, 2014 - 72 answers

What's in a name, anyway?

My husband and I are expecting our first child, a girl, due in 2 months and are having a serious naming dilemma. We are both worried about the possibility of our chosen name leading to teasing. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 11, 2013 - 78 answers

Wandering Kids at a Exhibition

A recent AskMe thread and this answer in particular has me re-examining an experience I had a while back, when exhibiting at a show. One of the other exhibitors had her four-year-old child along. I'm sure that if she had any other choice she would have left her child at home. But I kept feeling like her attitude about her child and their impact on the rest of the show and the other exhibitors was....lax? And I'm trying to figure out if I'm being an unfair childless jerk. In part because I hope to have my own kids someday, and if I do, I may very well be in her same position. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 6, 2013 - 32 answers

Question about "adult" behavior by children

How disturbed should we be by our 5-year-old's sexual behavior toward her father? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 17, 2013 - 23 answers

Giving my kid a positive and realistic message about her body

My daughter is 10 and in the midst of puberty. She has noticeable armpit hair. She's also fairly naive/unaware of standard social stuff - not clued in to what's "cool" etc. She also gets teased about being weird pretty regularly. She's also going to sleepaway camp for the first time this summer, and will be wearing a bathing suit a lot... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 21, 2013 - 55 answers

Why does my baby niece start crying when she sees me?

My 1.5 year old niece starts crying whenever she sees me and it breaks my heart. This has been happening since she was 7 months old and I can't understand what I've done to cause it. It's upsetting me enough to make me ask about it here. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 25, 2013 - 39 answers

Is my child not cut out for daycare?

We switched to a new daycare center a little less than a year ago and for at least the past six months, my daughter has been having a hard time. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 30, 2013 - 12 answers

How do I find a MAPP class in NYC?

My spouse and I want to be foster parents in New York City. The whole system is exasperatingly decentralized, but we've gone to two orientations, filled out reams upon reams of paperwork, gotten physicals, put down 28 years of address history on our SCR forms. Now we need to take a MAPP training. The catch is that the agency nearest us holds the training Monday and Thursday nights. I work Thursday nights, so that is out. I've been calling agencies trying to find an open MAPP class, to no avail so far. So I'm wondering if the MeFi hive mind has any insights on finding an open MAPP class in NYC. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 29, 2013 - 5 answers

When to start kindergarten for a late-November-birthday?

My four-year-old son’s birthday is in late November. In our state, that means we can choose whether he starts (all-day) kindergarten this coming fall, when he’s 4-going-on-5, or next year, when he’ll be 5-going-on-6. I’m pretty paralyzed over this decision. I’m looking for insights, especially those with some sort of data behind them, to help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 18, 2013 - 43 answers

Is there such a thing as parenting therapy?

I'm a first time mom. My son has some special needs that are causing me a considerable amount of stress. We are working with specialists to address his needs and we have a ton of support in that arena - it will be a long process but will likely eventually be corrected. My concern is more about me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 9, 2013 - 17 answers

dad loved you best

How did you decide when and if to have a second baby? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 27, 2012 - 37 answers

What Do You Give New Parents?

Parents of Metafilter: What the best gift you can give new parents? Everyone has suggestions for the baby but what about the parents? What are the things you wished you had/realized you couldn't live without when dealing with your first kid? How could someone have made your life easier despite being on the other side of the planet? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 24, 2012 - 23 answers

If I go there will be trouble, and if I stay it will be double

My wife of many years, and mother of my two children, is having (perfectly understandable, given the context) mental health issues that are making my life miserable. I want to handle this as lovingly as possible, in a way that will best protect my kids – please help me weigh my unpleasant options! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 4, 2012 - 39 answers

Father's groups in Philadelphia

I'm looking for father's groups in Philadelphia. I have a pre-K child. I'm more interested in a hang-out-and-chat sort of group. University City or Center City would be great. Thanks! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 28, 2012 - 2 answers

Can't I be the "dad"?

My SO wants kids and would make a great dad. The trick is, I don't want to be "the mom." [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 24, 2012 - 60 answers

Is it even possible to have equal roles when raising a baby?

How can I accept the gender imbalance in my relationship now that we're parents of a young, breastfed baby? Help me be less resentful of my husband! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 29, 2012 - 80 answers

How to move on from my abusive father?

Now that I know I hate my abusive father, what can I do specifically to move forward? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 26, 2012 - 23 answers

All women become like their mothers, so says Ocscar Wilde

How can I have a better relationship with my daughter than I had with my mother? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 13, 2012 - 10 answers

Teen Drug Usage and Rehab

From past addicts/addiction experience - At what point does a teen drug use go beyond teenage rebellion into a full blown addiction, and can anything be done if the teen doesn't want help, and not all parties are on board with consequences? Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 19, 2012 - 15 answers

Pre-tenure pregnancy?

Timing of pregnancy - pre or post-tenure? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 10, 2012 - 23 answers

How to get an infant to sleep on his back?

First-time parents looking for resources to get 4-month infant to sleep on his back. We've already consulted our pediatrician and family, and searched online... would appreciate any more help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 8, 2012 - 35 answers

How to be a good parent to a kid going through puberty

My daughter is starting puberty and I'm freaking out. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 16, 2012 - 29 answers

Calming strategies/advice for impending older-child adoption?

Best way to calm new adoptive parent fears and prepare for attachment issues? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 29, 2011 - 13 answers

How can a father leave his family yet remain a father?

This is not going to be pretty. I need to know if there is any way for me to maintain a life with my children if I cannot maintain one with my wife. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 26, 2011 - 91 answers

It's not a good time to have a baby, but I am worried this might be my only chance...

I want to have a baby. It is not the right time to have a baby. Rationally, I understand this. But emotionally, I am freaking out because of my age and feeling like I may not have other chances. How to best reconcile this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 7, 2011 - 49 answers

So why don't you just adopt?

Adoption after infertility and loss: how did you reconcile the grief of not conceiving a biological child and come to find joy in the process of adopting? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 29, 2011 - 14 answers

Should I continue giving my baby breast milk, even if it's just a little?

Should I continue giving my baby breast milk, even if it's just a little? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 12, 2011 - 14 answers

How can I make my daughter be more motivated and independant?

How can I make my daughter be more motivated and independant? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 11, 2011 - 31 answers

Keeping a happy kid happy?

How can I foster my 12 year old son's joie de vivre when I feel so grindy? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 30, 2011 - 11 answers

'Reverse' Bicurious, am I kidding myself?

I am a 25 year-old gay(-ish?) male living in New York City. Perhaps uncharacteristically, I have a really strong drive to have kids (of my own) and really want to do so in the next five or ten years. I'm torn about how to get there though, given relationship difficulties that hinge largely on unresolved issues relating to my sexuality. Warning: TL;DR potential, but significant context is necessary. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 25, 2011 - 21 answers

I am a horrible person: New Baby Edition

I flaked out on a friend's new-baby acknowledgment... for two months! Exactly how much of a transgression is this, and what (if anything) can I do to mitigate the damage? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 16, 2011 - 22 answers

Freedom to Not Care

My parents' comments can bother me for days. I'm looking for ways to not allow their attitudes, beliefs, and comments affect me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 8, 2011 - 20 answers

Therapy for poorly attached parent?

Can therapy improve a poorly bonded mother-child situation? This is a terrible thing to admit and I can't really say it to anyone. My six year old child is exceptionally beautiful, happy, smart, and well behaved... and I dislike parenting her and always have. Can therapy help? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 5, 2011 - 16 answers

Tantrum conundrum

How would you handle this? 16 year old boy breaks his Mom's cell phone in anger. Mom believes taking his phone away deprives him of the support of his friends, and has restricted most everything else, but not the phone. Eye for an eye or eye for an ear? It's a bit more complicated, though, so more inside... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 18, 2011 - 18 answers

This Woman's Work

Please help me evaluate a possible career move while pregnant with child #2. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 17, 2011 - 13 answers

Frankie say Relax

Seven-year-old boy incredibly defensive, takes everything too seriously and overreacts to criticism. Have you been one or had a child like this and can offer advice? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 11, 2011 - 23 answers

Help An Unhappy Dad To Be Become A Happy Dad To Be.

My wife is pregnant and I'm not happy about it. Obviously that's a problem. Help me try to become happy about it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 27, 2011 - 71 answers

My kid is bored and I am frustrated.

Is it fair that I ask my 2.5 year old daughter to play independently? She wants me around to do *everything* with her and I feel like she should at least be able to occupy herself alone for a few minutes at a time. I need guidance and suggestions. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 7, 2011 - 49 answers

What, if anything, do I say to my friends about their daughter's urgent need for braces?

What, if anything, do I say to my friends about their daughter's urgent need for braces? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 28, 2011 - 61 answers

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