How can I encourage my adult daughter from my first marriage to voice her opinions in my current divorce proceedings (of my second marriage) without it feeling like I'm dragging her into battle? [more inside]
Parenting filter: I have two kids, 11 and 9. I'm a divorced dad trying to figure out a plan for their accountability for their chores when they're with me. The biggest stumbling block seems to be division of labor. On the one hand, assigning individual chores (Daughter, you wash the dishes. Son, you dry and put away) and rewarding for completion seems simple enough. But I want to teach them teamwork, negotiation, time management (who does what part first) and shared responsibility. So sometimes I say "Clean the kitchen, you figure out who does what". The latter seems better for a shared reward like a trip to the movies. Does anyone favor one approach over the other, and why? BTW they're coming from a household where their mom and I differed on how to handle chores, so they're a little used to coasting.