My 7.5 month old baby explores the world with his hands and feet... I don't like to be grabbed. Help. [more inside]
My wife and I are getting serious criticism from her parents about activities that are extremely important to us -- endurance road cycling (me) and long-distance running (her). They believe that as parents to a 4-year-old, we are being irresponsible to continue these extra-curricular passions. Are they right? [more inside]
I am a man in his mid-30s, and I am probably not going to have children. I am okay with this, but the thought of having no connection whatsoever to the next generation is fairly upsetting to me for all sorts of reasons. To avoid that, I'd like to maintain an occasional correspondence (even if it's just one-way) with my friends' children. Most of my friends' children are currently infants. [more inside]
Looking for iPad apps and learning games for a four-year-old. [more inside]
I may be having a child soon, and it just hit me that in my mind physical discipline = success (I don't know any better). Could you please convince me that this is wrong and that there is a way to successfully raise children without terrifying them? Please help me deprogram myself. [more inside]
How does one handle "parenting" a teenager without feeling like you are just asking questions/following up on things/doing not-fun things? I feel like my life is get up, do the things, go to work, come home, enforce a bunch of rules, watch tv, go to bed. I don't want that to be my relationship with my niece! [more inside]
I'm looking for a particular quotation about respect that I saw very recently online somewhere. It was something like "When you tell me you want me to respect you, you mean that you want me to acknowledge that you have authority over me. When I tell you I want you to respect me, I mean that I want you to value me." [more inside]
My little girl is growing out of her crib and I need a mattress. Grandpa has lovingly made the little bee a cedar bed frame; it needs at least a 9" twin sized mattress. What do you recommend? [more inside]
I'm 32 weeks pregnant with my first child. Meanwhile, my sweetie's father is succumbing to cancer (so, by the way, is my stepmom, whom I love dearly). I'm interested in tips on how to cope with tough stuff like this while pregnant, how to both be supportive and get the support I need right now. [more inside]
My ex- and I have struggled to coparent cooperatively. We share joint physical/legal custody, and it's been very high conflict. When we divorced a year ago, we wrote our custody agreement hastily and agreed to a schedule that we both feel is not ideal for our 6 year old son - too many transitions and it's confusing/unpredictable for such a young child. We've known for some time that our custody agreement needs to be redone for that reason alone. Since the custody agreement was signed, even more circumstances arose that signaled the need for a farther-reaching parenting plan to replace the custody agreement; we need one that states a mutual commitment to shielding our son from conflict and reduces ambiguity around resolving disagreements, holidays, schoolwork, significant others and parenting a child with ADHD/SPD. [more inside]
My two children (ages 6 and 9) and I would like to buy a Tarot deck so that we can learn to tell each others' fortunes. The children like standard kid/fantasy stuff (Cthulhu, LOtR, Star Wars, puppies, LEGO, Minecraft, Terraria, cartoons, etc) and my only requirement is that it doesn't have nudity as that would freak out their long-suffering mother. Bonus points if it's under $15 and available on Amazon.
My daughter is 5 and starting kindergarten and music lessons. I cannot lie: in these and her future...I dunno, endeavors I guess you would call them, I want her to do well. I want her to put effort in and take pleasure in her efforts. But I don't know how to foster this in her and it's time I started figuring it out. [more inside]
What's your best toy(s) recommendation for a bright 2 to 2.5 year old? [more inside]
Our son is entering first grade (public school in Minnesota, if that matters). We just got the new class assignments and it looks like literally every other kid in his class is a year or two older, obviously because their parents held them back a year, or more in some cases. How worried should we be? [more inside]
What are some ways that a parent recovering from serious depression can let their young children know that they are loved and treasured? [more inside]
Dear hive mind, I'm a 48 year old father of a 5 year old daughter. My life is pretty okay, in terms of marriage, health, work. But I cannot seem to enjoy all the good things (of which there are plenty) out of anxiousness that my child will maybe not have a great life. [more inside]
I just picked up this book on collective/anarchist childcare and got intrigued by the concept....help me find more! [more inside]
My daughter (almost 3 years old) has curly red hair. People constantly make a big deal about it. Is this kind of constant attention and fawning over this part of her something we should be concerned about? I am curious if any other people with red and curly hair can comment on the attention they receive, cumulative effects, and what perhaps any things we as parents can do or look out for? [more inside]
my almost-four-year old has been getting a bit "handsy" at day care lately and it's usually when he is playing superheroes with his friends -- we're looking for a non-violent superhero to nudge him away from the punching/shooting/bashing variety. [more inside]
How do playdates generally work for 8-year-olds? In particular, do you have any specific activity or game suggestions? What is playdate etiquette? Any tips for very introverted parents? (Location: U.S.) [more inside]
I have an 8-year old who knows all the good swear words and understands on some level that it's not appropriate for him to use them most of the time. I'm struggling to give him some principled guidelines for using swear words. [more inside]
Seeking words of wisdom & experience, advice, reality checks, really anything that can help me gain some clarity or peace of mind. Lots of text, apologies in advance. [more inside]
I have a kind, sweet, beautiful, smart ADHD-PI (primarily inattentive) daughter. She's almost 11 and in 5th grade. However, homework is the land of pain... [more inside]
I was incredibly touched to learn that my goddaughter has decided that in lieu of a birthday party she's inviting all of her guests to a local book repository to sort, sticker, and bag books destined for low-income families. I love this and want to do something for her birthday to help encourage more of this kind of thing in the future. Help me choose from some options or suggest something else: [more inside]
After a great deal of deliberation, a thorough reading of Fosterhood, and an inconceivable amount of bureaucratic obstacle weaving, we are currently parenting two foster children. They're Chinese. We aren't. They need to eat more soups, more vegetables. I need help figuring out how to make things they'll like. [more inside]
A friend of mine is looking for advice on how to get her Downs Syndrome son to eat after an incident of near choking a few months ago. [more inside]
Mini-me is starting day care at a place that takes the toddlers to a local park every day. I'm cool with this (wearing him out FTW!) but they apparently have the class walk there — about six blocks through a dense urban area. I was a little surprised by this practice for such little kids (18-36 months). Husband is really concerned about the whole thing and I'm not sure what to think. Is this actually a totally reasonable thing for toddlers to do in a group care environment? [more inside]
Parents, what do you wish you knew when you got your kid their first phone? I need practical advice, but I'm also interested in the less tangible parent/child relations-type advice, too. [more inside]
My introverted three year old refuses to engage at family gatherings. But how do I teach her to be polite? And what exactly is going on in her head? [more inside]
Asking for a friend - her 12 year old son is "in love" with a 12 year old girl. Hormones are active and kids are definitely interested in doing more than just holding hands. My friend is struggling to figure out reasonable rules on dating behavior, especially since in her culture, children this young simple don't date and yet here in sunny California the rules seem to be different. Complications inside. [more inside]
My question is twofold:
- What books, websites, or other resources do you recommend?
- Any tips for teaching a very young player?
After seeing and reading about the death of parents, one of the biggest regrets seems to be not knowing them better. I have a cordial but distance relationship from my parents and while I don't ever see us being BFFs, I would like to know them better as people and their life. How do I do this, considering I live 6 states away? [more inside]
Bedtime has always been a production with our now 13 month old, and unfortunately I don't know many parents of similarly-aged kids to calibrate against. Does this routine seem normal/okay to you for this age? Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
Wifey and I are headed to Hawaii for our first vacation post-pregnancy. We've loved staying at B&B's in the past, but don't want our hosts or other guests to cringe when we show up with our 6-month-old daughter. Be honest: have we outgrown this mode of lodging?? [more inside]
I’m looking some age-appropriate media that will show my bright, sensitive 3 year old son (who seems to be more interested in all things femme every day) that his interests are okay. He has lots of female family members and friends who demonstrate to him that there are a million different ways of being a woman or a girl. But neither his dad nor I is feminine in the slightest, and most of the men in his life are uniformly masculine. I’d love it if he could see positive representations of boys and men in books and TV who have a wider variety of gender expressions. [more inside]
I have read articles about herd immunity and I understand the concept. But, boots on the ground, should I worry about my vaccinated son occasionally playing with a partially vaccinated 4-year-old and a completely unvaccinated 2-year-old? We're all pretty mindful of staying away when the children show signs of illness. I am interested in both medical information and how other parents have navigated this potential risk.
I've only seen my best friend outside of his house twice this year. He and his wife have a 15-month-old baby boy, and they ignore, decline or don't make it to every social engagement because the baby might cry, or the baby is sleeping. They've all but stopped communicating with me. Help me understand why this is so hard for them, and if there is there any advice I can use or pass on that can help? [more inside]
I'd like to get some recommendations on the basics of feminism, especially as it might relate to things a dad can do to help his daughters prepare for and deal with sexism in society and also do his part in understanding the world and making it a better place for women (and by extension all people). [more inside]
As I mentioned in this question, I'm a single mom of an 8 month old. My question in a nutshell is, how in the hell do working single parents do it? [more inside]
I have a 2 year old (26 months to be very precise). We have entered the phase of "I do it!", which is okay in and of itself, but a pattern is starting to appear. He wants to, say, put on his coat himself. Great! Usually one of 2 things happens: he puts it on himself (about 10% of the time), or as soon as I hand him the coat he insists that I do it. So I start to do it, but I get a tearful "MAMA I DO IT!" He creates an impasse where I can't help him but he refuses to do what he says he wants to do. [more inside]
While at a small family gathering in our friends' home, my coworker's 7-year-old son suddenly grabbed a 4-year-old girl, raised her up into the air over his head, and body-slammed her onto the living room floor -- in full and complete view of 8 parents, including both of his own. His parents never did or said anything to him about it that night, and we're all horrified. How do we get to a place of acceptance when folks make vastly different parenting choices than our own, and our kids see it? Details ... [more inside]
I'm looking for advice for helping my 5 year old (new kindergartener) daughter deal with what looks like nascent perfectionist tendencies. [more inside]
My daughter's on the other side of the ocean for a little while, but we keep up with daily video chats. We talk, goof around, make faces, play with puppets, but I sometimes wish I had more ideas to keep her entertained. Can you think of any other fun things we could do? [more inside]
I have just found out that my ex and the father of my child did something twenty-odd years ago that has had permanent ramifications for both our child and his daughter with his former wife (the daughter is 9 years older than our son). I was unaware of this until Sunday, when I visited the former wife (who lives in another city) and we had a long and intense conversation under the shadow of the terminal diagnosis she received earlier this year. What do I do now? [more inside]
I did something colossally stupid this evening: Put up some pasta on the stove and then fell promptly asleep for a little while on the couch. Woke up to a terrible smell of natural gas. Found the water in the pot had spilled over and doused the flame of the burner it was cooking on. With the gas on high. It was probably like that for about 10 minutes or so. And now, four hours later, the house still has a strong-ish odor. Here is my question: does the smell indicate that gas is still present in the house, and if so, should I be concerned for the health and safety of my small children, who are sleeping a hallway away from the kitchen? [more inside]
Seeking wisdom from the experienced: pros and cons of working full time vs. raising kids full time ? [more inside]
My (boy / girl) twins will be entering kindergarten this September. We've been asked if we want them placed into separate classes, or left together in the same class. Need to give them our answer by Monday and frankly, I'm at a loss and have no idea what I should do. If you are a parent of school-age or older twins, can you please share what you did and why? If you yourself are a twin, how did your parents handle it? How did it work out? Other knowledgeable anecdotes and advice welcome. Links to any online resources I can read on the topic would also be appreciated.
We are expecting (twins) and we are devouring parenting books. We're not overly beholden to these books - we trust our own instincts. But it seems like a lot of these books are anecdotal, or old-fashioned. We'd love to find a book that is modern, research/data-driven, and at least a little enjoyable to read. The kind of book that someone who enjoys Lifehacker, RadioLab, BoingBoing, etc. would respond to. Any suggestions?
My tween daughter recently had a minor but serious accident that required a visit to the emergency room and a few days on narcotic painkillers. During this time she missed school, skipped homework and other normal activities, and basically got a lot of attention and concern from relatives and friends, and of course me, her mother. Now, having recovered, she's articulated that she misses all that special attention and has explicitly said that she wants to get hurt again. [more inside]
The 16 yo daughter of a lady I am good friends with was contacted after an argument by the fiance of her ex-husband regarding how to deal with a borderline abusive situation at home. The discussion evidently even went to far as to see if the daughter could advise her whether to go to a hotel or home to sleep with him. My friend feels this very inappropriate. Is it a big deal? She is very upset and is contemplating a measured response and future plan to stop this from happening ever again. She would like to do so without alienating her daughter (who seems to enjoy the attention) or poisoning the future relationship with her daughters dad and soon to be stepmom. Her and I both agree that she is probably on track to become another abused spouse and ought to leave the relationship - but right now that will not happen. I know the mefi crowd is sensitive, smart, and probably a good place to get some input, any thoughts?