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Fancy events + no sleep + small children = help?

Family trip coming up, and I need advice on helping my five-year-old daughter manage sleep-deprivation and jetlag. In the context of a wedding weekend, with all the attendant social and behavioral expectations. With bonus similarly-aged relative who brings out her most rambunctious side. What can I do by way of scheduling, boundaries, etc., to keep this sane while still being polite? [more inside]
posted by Bardolph on Aug 17, 2014 - 18 answers

Just because they share half their DNA....

Should I help my daughter connect with her half-sister? Or more precisely, should I help my daughter's half-sister connect with her? [more inside]
posted by marionett gjorda av strumpor on Jun 19, 2014 - 22 answers

Communication Resources for Children of Narcissistic Parents

My sister was recently given a talking-to at work for her tone, after she unknowingly made one of her employees cry. She's been told she talks to people like they're stupid. And despite the fact that she is a very sweet, loving, and compassionate person, she does do that sometimes. She's not always aware of it happening, but sometimes she is, and she says it's hard to stop. Our mother was the same way, and what my sister says is, "Sometimes I feel Mom's voice coming out of me, and I hate it but I can't stop it." She's asked me for some resources that will help her learn how to communicate better, and be aware of her tone and fix it when necessary. It's especially important to her now that she's pregnant and doesn't want to talk to her child the way our mother talked to us. Any suggestions for her? I've already got Non-Violent Communication on the list, and I'm looking for good resources for children of narcissistic mothers. What else?
posted by rhiannonstone on May 14, 2014 - 8 answers

non-traditional parenting for dummies

What resources exist for non-romantic adult friends thinking about having a kid? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2014 - 16 answers

How do I get to know my parents as people?

After seeing and reading about the death of parents, one of the biggest regrets seems to be not knowing them better. I have a cordial but distance relationship from my parents and while I don't ever see us being BFFs, I would like to know them better as people and their life. How do I do this, considering I live 6 states away? [more inside]
posted by lpcxa0 on Mar 26, 2014 - 21 answers

What, if any, contact should my children have with their absent mother?

My ex-wife suddenly vanished over 2 years ago to her native Asian country, leaving behind a son (then 1, now 3) and daughter (then 6, now 8). Contact was intermittent (sometimes once a week and sometimes every three months). I asked her to commit to a regularly scheduled call and she refused to do so. I also found the phone calls to be borderline abusive to my daughter (the daughter would ask, "Mommy when are you coming back," and the mother would reply, "When are you going to come see me?" which caused the daughter to feel responsible for her absence - or the Skype video chats where the daughter would have the camera on but the mother refused to do so). I have since cut off contact with the mother in order to protect my daughter, though wonder if it is the correct decision. [more inside]
posted by b_thinky on Jul 24, 2013 - 45 answers

Politely parenting my kid's playdates?

My preschooler is getting just old enough to have a proper social life (playdates, birthday parties, etc.). I've got some specific questions about the parental etiquette expectations surrounding these kiddie get-togethers. [more inside]
posted by Bardolph on Apr 5, 2013 - 24 answers

Second-time parenting, how does that work?

Tell me about your daily schedules, parenting logistics, etc., with a newborn plus a toddler or older child. [more inside]
posted by Bardolph on Mar 7, 2013 - 15 answers

How to Upload Photos For Which I Have No Digital Copies to Online Storage for High Quality Prints Later?

Best Way to Scan/Store Print Photos Without Digital Copies? [more inside]
posted by white_magnolia on Nov 29, 2012 - 3 answers

I need a time machine

A little more than a month ago, I started a full-time telecommuting job that I thought was my dream job. When I took it, I was working part-time (and had been since my son was born two years ago). This is my first full-time job since becoming a mom. I now think I made a big mistake. [more inside]
posted by trillian on Aug 14, 2012 - 21 answers

Should we have another child? Two is enough for me.

I have two kids. My wife wants another. I don't. How do we decide? I have two boys. Ages 6 and 2 1/2. My wife is saying we should have another child because she wants a girl. [more inside]
posted by alshain on Aug 13, 2012 - 34 answers

Do I have to choose between my son, or, my dad & stepmom?

My father and stepmother have rejected my son, after I placed him in an Open Adoption following his birth earlier this year. How do I deal with important family events where both parties would be welcome and invited? Snowflake details within. [more inside]
posted by erasorhed on Aug 6, 2012 - 21 answers

How to talk with my 8-yr old about suicide?

How to talk with my 8-yr old about his older depressed cousin's suicide? [more inside]
posted by ValveAnnex on Jun 15, 2012 - 20 answers

Help me help an eleven-year-old find her own normal.

She's not into what she thinks girls her age are "supposed" to be into. How do we show her that what she likes is what's normal, and maybe encourage her to reach out to find the other kids that like that stuff too? Is that what we should be doing? [more inside]
posted by kostia on Jun 11, 2012 - 97 answers

I'm still their dad, but should they call me something else?

Need suggestions on how my kids should address me, their transgender father. "Dad" now seems kind of weird at times. [more inside]
posted by TranSubstantial on Jan 17, 2012 - 53 answers

How can a father leave his family yet remain a father?

This is not going to be pretty. I need to know if there is any way for me to maintain a life with my children if I cannot maintain one with my wife. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 26, 2011 - 91 answers

Should I continue giving my baby breast milk, even if it's just a little?

Should I continue giving my baby breast milk, even if it's just a little? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 12, 2011 - 14 answers

How can I make my daughter be more motivated and independant?

How can I make my daughter be more motivated and independant? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 11, 2011 - 31 answers

Help me do what I should have done as a dad

How to be the best grandparent babysitter [more inside]
posted by malhaley on Sep 18, 2011 - 22 answers

Looking for family-focused memoirs

I'm reading (and really enjoying) The Glass Castle, and my wife and are about to have our first kid. What other memoirs or non-fiction books should I read that focus on parenting, raising kids in unorthodox ways, or just plain unique families?
posted by nitsuj on Jul 14, 2011 - 20 answers

Christmas for the introvert

How do I deal with multiple large family Christmas gatherings as an extreme introvert with some sensory thing about large groups of people, loud noises and too much happening? Complicating factors are as follows. [more inside]
posted by geek anachronism on Dec 28, 2010 - 34 answers

How do you have a family that talks?

How can we develop the kind of family where things like race and sexuality and other big topics are discussed in an open, healthy, relaxed way? [more inside]
posted by flail on Nov 29, 2010 - 17 answers

What does a normal, healthy family look like?

You grew up in a loving, healthy home. Your parents were normal, in that they were imperfect and made mistakes, but did a pretty damn good job raising their children. What was the nature of their mistakes? How did they affect you? What does a good, real family look like? [more inside]
posted by moira on Oct 5, 2010 - 69 answers

How do I navigate racial politics with my family before our transracial adoption?

When I was childless, my parents' right-wing politics were pretty easy to ignore. Whatever, we're different, they are entitled to their opinions. But now that I have a small child, and we are about to adopt transracially, things are beginning to get tense for me. [more inside]
posted by jeanmari on Aug 31, 2010 - 41 answers

This is not my beautiful house

I am really lucky. I have a beautiful house, a good job, a smart, talented kid, a devoted, responsible husband. My life, by all objective measures, does not suck. Except it kind of does. Marital woes question: Should I stay? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 25, 2010 - 97 answers

Yet another way parents wreck their children?

Follow me inside for a bunch of questions about co-sleeping with an older child. [more inside]
posted by BlahLaLa on Mar 22, 2010 - 12 answers

Hum Rel/Law & Gov/Grab Bag: Is there Empirical Evidence of Benefits for the Child who is able to Interact with both Parents daily in a Divorced situation?

I need to find this. Very important to me. Is there empirical evidence relating to this question: Are there advantages for the children of divorced families being able to interact with both parents every day? If so, what are those benefits?--Again, in terms of citable evidence. [more inside]
posted by justrobin on Mar 5, 2010 - 3 answers

Big man scary!

My baby is terrified of her grandfather. What can we do to get her to like him a bit better? [more inside]
posted by Bardolph on Mar 2, 2010 - 19 answers

Raising pre-teens really IS hell

I need help sorting out if my son is behaving like a typical pre-teen or if he completely flipped the hell out. My oldest son turned 12 a couple months ago and now I have no idea who this child is. I'm at a loss to know what's normal for this age and what I should be concerned about. Books and the Internet are all over the map, so maybe the hive mind can help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 18, 2010 - 67 answers

Dad, please stop beating a dead horse.

I am a paralegal. No matter what I say, my father continually reminds me that if I went to law school I would have a better job, make more money, etc. If I say anything remotely intelligent, he automatically responds, "See, you should go to law school." Please help me make him understand that I don't want to go back to school, and his nonstop pestering only makes me feel stupid and inadequate. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 6, 2010 - 54 answers

To Grandmother's block we go?

Trying to decide just how close to move to our kid's (very enthusiastic) grandparents. If you've experienced the childrearing-with-nearby-grands situation (as kid, grand OR parent), how did it work out? Any advice on encouraging involvement while still maintaining boundaries? [more inside]
posted by Bardolph on Jun 4, 2009 - 21 answers

What should we discuss before we have kids?

Apologies, I know there is a lot on this topic, but I have a specific question that doesn't seem to be answered. We are thinking of having kids. We both want them. What should we discuss before we jump in with both feet? Who will stay home, and for how long? What kinds of names are you considering? What forms of punishment / praise will be used? When can she get her ears pierced? etc. There seems to be so much to discuss... and I want to start having the conversation before I get hormonal. This will be our first. What conversations did you have before yours were born?
posted by saragoodman3 on Mar 26, 2009 - 22 answers

Please help me decide if I want to be a parent or not?

Please help me decide if I want to be a parent or not? [more inside]
posted by katala on Mar 13, 2009 - 52 answers

How much do I owe my parents?

I'm having a baby girl any week now, and I couldn't be more excited, but it's left me thinking a lot about whether or not I want my parents involved in my daughter's life. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 9, 2009 - 19 answers

Favorite Family games?

What are your favorite family games? [more inside]
posted by keith0718 on Aug 30, 2008 - 24 answers

Exposing your kid to behaviors you disagree with?

What do you do once you have a kid and family problem stakes seem higher, i.e. you're concerned about exposing your child things that go against what you believe? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 6, 2008 - 27 answers

And Girlfriend Makes Three

When my lease expires at the end of May, my boyfriend and I will be moving together. This is all very exciting, but I'm going to go from living alone to being a (basically) stepmom to a 10 year old boy. How can we make this easier on everyone? Are there any books that will be helpful? [more inside]
posted by kerfuffled on Feb 28, 2008 - 16 answers

Long Distance Parenting

Looking for positive experiences where single parent and young child(en) were separated by great distances. Specifically, I am curious to know how it was made to work. [more inside]
posted by panoptican on Jan 3, 2008 - 9 answers

MOM U R L33T!!1!!one!!

How do I make sure I'm the absolute best son I can be? [more inside]
posted by TheManChild2000 on Nov 9, 2007 - 19 answers

I could tell your new girlfriend about the time we only THOUGHT you were potty-trained!

Help me be an awesome mom! [more inside]
posted by nax on Oct 19, 2007 - 36 answers

What to say to son coming out?

I think my son's about to tell me he's gay. I want to say the best thing possible. What is that? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 11, 2007 - 53 answers

The question of a second child

Those with two or more kids: if you had to do it all over again, would you do so, or not? Not counting outside factors like the state of the world and so forth. [more inside]
posted by zek on Jan 17, 2007 - 46 answers

How old is too old to father?

Was your father 45+ when you were born? Were your own children born later in your life? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 27, 2006 - 34 answers

Adoption and foster parenting

What can you tell me about your experiences giving/raising/being an adopted child? [more inside]
posted by nelleish on Mar 16, 2005 - 13 answers

What's your cool family tradition?

I'm a new dad and I want to create some cool, happy family traditions. What traditions do you most remember and treasure? [more inside]
posted by AgentRocket on Mar 8, 2005 - 49 answers

sibling relationships

If you have siblings, do you think there's anything your parents did or didn't do that had a big effect on how you relate to your sib(s) today? My kids' futures hinge on your answer. [more inside]
posted by stupidsexyFlanders on Feb 17, 2005 - 34 answers

I need information about how to parent when raised by abusive parents.

I was raised by an abusive father. Now in my early 30's I am looking ahead to the future when I may become a father. I am determined not to recreate the family environment I grew up in but know how these things sometimes turn out -- that people determined not to recreate something sometimes wind up doing so in an unforseen manner. I was in therapy for 2 years in my 20's to work on the issues but therapy is not an option now because of money. I have worked hard not to be my father, but part of me is afraid that I will wind up being like him as a parent. (In particular, I worry about being a father to a son because of my history). I am looking for information about the father-son relationship as well as information about how to be a good parent when you have a background like mine. Please offer advice, books, suggestions - anything that can help.
posted by anonymous on Feb 13, 2005 - 16 answers

Toddler parenting

Mysonhatesmefilter: Very often, My 2.5 year old son wants nothing to do with me. [more inside, if you please, Matt]
posted by anonymous on Nov 18, 2004 - 39 answers

traditional weekly spankings for children

When I was little, my parents used to tell me that "in the olden days," many parents would spank their kids once a week, even though their kids hadn't been naughty. The spanking was supposedly preventative ("you'll get worse than THIS if you misbehave") or predictive ("I don't know WHAT you've done, but I'm sure you've done SOMETHING -- or you WILL do something...")

My question is: is this true? I mean, I know there are (and have been) all sorts of whack-o parents, but was there ever a general philosophy of parenting that advocated weekly spankings? My parents usually brought this up in the context of "you think YOU have it bad, well..." Were they yanking my chain? Is this an urban legend?
posted by grumblebee on Aug 23, 2004 - 18 answers

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