Can you help me accept my limitations as a parent? My child is going through a rough period and I feel like I failed them. I am not going to give any specific examples because I am looking for more general info. So, I’m looking for ideas (books and articles are also welcome) on how to deal with the fact that I cannot protect my children from unhappiness. [more inside]
My wife is overworked, underslept, and stressed, and I wanted to know if anybody had any advice that might be helpful. She has a job that requires long hours and causes her a lot of stress that she is committed to until the end of the school year. On top of that, she has a job for a few hours every weekend that she is committed to for a while as well. We also have a two year old daughter and we are climbing out of debt. [more inside]
My dad will be making his last child support payment to my mother next month for my brother who is 19 and no longer in full time education (he’s going to university). After then he will no longer financially support my brother - he hasn't financially supported me since I was 18 when he made his last support payment. I am now thinking of asking him directly to make a monthly payment to me and my brother since he isn’t supporting us in any other way. [more inside]
A friend of mine is looking for advice on how to get her Downs Syndrome son to eat after an incident of near choking a few months ago. [more inside]
My sister smokes pot recreationally. She has young kids who know about it and are really bothered by it. Where does a concerned aunt step in? [more inside]
Looking for writing (books, articles, blog posts, etc) about parents
reading on screens instead of in physical books, and how that might impact kids' impressions of reading [more inside]
My son spends way too much time on 4chan and it really worries me. [more inside]
I'm looking to expand my Twitter feed to include more parent-bloggers. I'm interested in intelligent discussion, not product-hawking, from real people. So the Motherlode blog/Twitter feed from the NY Times is okay, but not exactly right because it's just…too big, and not really a conversation.
I've seen this post
, and will look at those blogs, but I'm specifically interested in Twitter feeds. [more inside]
What is a playdate, anyway? Is it a social occasion where parents hang out together while their kids play together in close proximity? And how did this pattern emerge? do people in other countries do this or is it mainly an American thing? [more inside]
Can you recommend books or other resources to help me live and parent with ADHD? [more inside]
My 21 month old's daughter just sent home with her a questionnaire called the ASQSE, which from what I gather is intended to help diagnose ASD. Her answers on the questionnaire would indicate that she doesn't have a problem. BUT. They sent this thing home with me for a reason, right? [more inside]
Family trip coming up, and I need advice on helping my five-year-old daughter manage sleep-deprivation and jetlag. In the context of a wedding weekend, with all the attendant social and behavioral expectations. With bonus similarly-aged relative who brings out her most rambunctious side. What can I do by way of scheduling, boundaries, etc., to keep this sane while still being polite? [more inside]
Your favorite amateur musical performance on Youtube is... [more inside]
In the next few weeks, I will need to attend a series of late-running formal dinners... with a five-year-old in tow. Please recommend your most magical, engrossing, dinner-table-friendly activity books, games, small toys, etc. for the early school-aged set, so we can keep her quietly in her seat and out of everyone's hair. [more inside]
A friend of mine just had a baby in a somewhat isolated area. She's feeling alone and in need of support. Does anyone have suggestions for online communities that are respectful, articulate, and not full of woo? She says the ones she's found have been too judgmental (posts mocking/disparaging other parents), or filled with anti-vax, co-sleeping, and breastfeeding dogma. Bonus points if it has a large number women who are the main breadwinner in the family.
Mini-me is starting day care at a place that takes the toddlers to a local park every day. I'm cool with this (wearing him out FTW!) but they apparently have the class walk there — about six blocks through a dense urban area. I was a little surprised by this practice for such little kids (18-36 months). Husband is really concerned about the whole thing and I'm not sure what to think. Is this actually a totally reasonable thing for toddlers to do in a group care environment? [more inside]
My 15-yr old daughter recently told me she has been having sex with her boyfriend of 10 months (also 15 y.o.) [more inside]
I'd like to put together a playlist of great live musical performances on Youtube to play for my baby. What are your favorites? [more inside]
Parents, what do you wish you knew when you got your kid their first phone? I need practical advice, but I'm also interested in the less tangible parent/child relations-type advice, too. [more inside]
I share custody (50/50, week on - week off) of my eight-year-old with her dad, and have since he and I split up over three years ago. Lately she's been spending all of her time at his house crying for me. Since she can't point to any tangible problems to fix, I don't know what to do. Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
19 year old is moving out to a rented room this week. We live in a city where young adults typically live with family until marriage or 30s, and her four siblings (one older, three younger) live with us. The decision to ask her to move out if she escalated in breaking household rules (no drugs, porn, sex-work, hold down a job or school, don't abuse other family members) has been run past her psychiatrist and long-planned. She's excited to live on her own with no restrictions, we are terrified due to her long history of risky behavior and struggles with borderline personality disorder and PTSD from abuse. [more inside]
My kids are going to a day camp for the first time this summer. They're scheduled to swim twice a day, but my son has been refusing to go into the pool and panicking when the counselors try to encourage him into the water. How can we convince him the pool is fun, safe and comfortable? [more inside]
We have a 17 month old boy. We love him very much. Sometimes my husband and I discuss having a second child. Truth be told, I don't know if the two ounces of sanity I have left would survive it. [more inside]
My introverted three year old refuses to engage at family gatherings. But how do I teach her to be polite? And what exactly is going on in her head? [more inside]
My wife and I are leaving our 2.5 year old with her grandmother for the Fourth of July weekend. How do we prepare for this first trip away? [more inside]
Asking for a friend - her 12 year old son is "in love" with a 12 year old girl. Hormones are active and kids are definitely interested in doing more than just holding hands. My friend is struggling to figure out reasonable rules on dating behavior, especially since in her culture, children this young simple don't date and yet here in sunny California the rules seem to be different. Complications inside. [more inside]
Should I help my daughter connect with her half-sister? Or more precisely, should I help my daughter's half-sister connect with her? [more inside]
Let's say I have a five year-old daughterabout to start kindergarten in the fall. She's whipsmart, hilarious, kind, and generally awesome. Let's add, though, that she's overly babyish, timid, prone to crying over the smallest stuff, and lagging behind her peers in basic coordination/athletic things. She doesn't run well. Even with training wheels, she's a nervous wreck on her bike, constantly braking because she's "going too fast" (even as the reality is, she could walk
faster.) She's prone to dramatically declarations of fear about pretty much everything. If you toss her even the softest Nerf ball, she'll cover her face and possibly shriek. Despite all of her finer points, her crying, her mewling, her uncoordination, and her babytalk are causing her peers to tease her. And as her parents, we want to help.
We want to help her get the sort of confidence and basic physicality that will help her tackle new challenges without tears and panic and play better with kids her own age. What are some things we could do with her to get to kind of--if you'll pardon me making up a word--de-infantilize?
Okay, now remember all of those ideas you just had for me, but here's one more thing:
I don't have a daughter. I have a son. And all of the above describes him. [more inside]
I am looking for research/articles/papers on people's instinct to sacrifice for the "greater good".
I have read an article mentioning John Bowlby and a term called "collective protective instinct", but outside of said article I haven't found any mention of this term. [more inside]
10-year-old that struggles with many things who, for a few years now, has, when feeling sad/depressed, talked about how no one likes him, he's not good at anything, has no special qualities, isn't smart... etc. Looking for ways to help him. [more inside]
We are expecting our first child and I am an excited and joyful father to be. I would like a book or a pair of books on pregnancy and child rearing with special conditions. [more inside]
My sister is a mother of twin girls, 14 years old. Just this year one began engaging in "NSSI" (cutting herself) the other was found to be having a sexualized, online affair with a 19 year old girl. [more inside]
I am in my early forties, single and childless. Many of my peers have opted to marry and have babies. I don't see myself joining them any time soon but I'd like to understand them a little better.
So what are the aspects of parenthood that single, childless people (men in particular) Just Don't Get? [more inside]
My question is twofold:
- What books, websites, or other resources do you recommend?
- Any tips for teaching a very young player?
He already knows all the basic moves and rules. [more inside]
Recently someone on the blue pointed me to Fosterhood
, a blog written by a foster mom and I was obsessed--read the 270+ pages of archives in about 3 days. I'm looking for other similar blogs, but googling for 'top recommendations' of parenting blogs hasn't exactly found me what I want. [more inside]
Friends told me the reason I'm emotionally unstable is probably mainly because of how I grew up and I needed to reconcile with my dad. [more inside]
We're expecting our first in a few weeks! How and when do we get insurance coverage for the little one? [more inside]
My sister was recently given a talking-to at work for her tone, after she unknowingly made one of her employees cry. She's been told she talks to people like they're stupid. And despite the fact that she is a very sweet, loving, and compassionate person, she does do that sometimes. She's not always aware of it happening, but sometimes she is, and she says it's hard to stop. Our mother was the same way, and what my sister says is, "Sometimes I feel Mom's voice coming out of me, and I hate it but I can't stop it." She's asked me for some resources that will help her learn how to communicate better, and be aware of her tone and fix it when necessary. It's especially important to her now that she's pregnant and doesn't want to talk to her child the way our mother talked to us. Any suggestions for her? I've already got Non-Violent Communication on the list, and I'm looking for good resources for children of narcissistic mothers. What else?
Our young (<6) child has sensory processing issues, and is lashing out physically when she is overwhelmed. We don't want to pull her from a generally beneficial school, and she's already in occupational therapy, what else can we do to stop the aggressive behavior? [more inside]
I have a 3 1/2 year old who will be starting preschool in the fall. He currently attends a home daycare, where he has breakfast and lunch, and often dinner. Once he starts preschool, we will have to manage breakfast and dinner at home. He is an incredibly slow eater and when we eat dinner at home, it literally takes him until bedtime to eat. This makes breakfast a major challenge as well. Getting him up earlier doesn't necessarily help because then he's groggy and uncooperative and will spend that extra 20 minutes moving at the speed of molasses in terms of getting dressed and toothbrushed. Please help. [more inside]
My husband and I have been married almost a year (lived together before that) and have a good relationship with his 12-year-old son, who lives about an hour away and is with us in summers and every other weekend. Now I am pregnant. We are excited to tell stepson this weekend, but I want to think a bit about... [more inside]
I am considering having a child with a friend to whom I am not married. We would be living separately, but would have joint legal and physical custody. What might be some details that we should work out ahead of time? [more inside]
So... I am 99% positive that my three-and-a-half year old daughter has an ADHD diagnoses in her future. She is the poster child for literally every symptom on the "10 early signs" list, and family members/care providers/random aquaintences have all asked "do you think...?" So while of course I will eventually do the appropriate screenings etc - what I'm looking for here are anecdotes, experiences, research and strategies for a parent of a child with ADHD (or, you know, who exhibits all the behaviors and issues of one who does). [more inside]
My son is 12, and he's set on dying his hair jet black. I'm not sure what reasons I should give if I tell him no, or what consequences may arise if I tell him yes. I'm hoping to hear from some of you with experience raising, teaching, or being a child like this. [more inside]
What resources exist for non-romantic adult friends thinking about having a kid? [more inside]
After seeing and reading about the death of parents, one of the biggest regrets seems to be not knowing them better. I have a cordial but distance relationship from my parents and while I don't ever see us being BFFs, I would like to know them better as people and their life. How do I do this, considering I live 6 states away? [more inside]
My 4 year old daughter goes to ballet lessons and really likes them. She’s looking forward to a recital in about 8 weeks. Unfortunately, we need to pull her out of classes at her current studio and enroll her some place else. How do my partner and I frame this issue with my daughter so she doesn’t feel terrible? [more inside]
Looking for recommendations on parenting books dealing with tips, advice, strategies on the following topics for parenting young children (5-10): how to set different behavioral expectations for siblings of different ages (greater expectations for older children, given capacity), responsibility / accountability for ones actions and the effects of ones behavior on other people ( managing belongings, homework, punctuality, behavior management in special situations ie. there are times for wild/exuberant play and fun but the airport or funerals are are not such times)
Not interested in any books with a religious or corporal punishment bent. [more inside]
I'm 49 and my wife is 44. We have two small children 7 and 2 and do not own life insurance. Last Friday, we learned my wife has breast cancer, and the same day found out there is a likelihood I could be diagnosed with bladder cancer in the following weeks. Is there any kind of life insurance which I should quickly try to secure in the short time I have while I am still basically healthy? [more inside]
Should I disclose my son's ASD and ADHD to other parents when he goes on playdates where we are not present? [more inside]