Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with painful

When should I disclose my low sex drive to a potential partner?

Anonymous — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 06:19:08 -0800

I have a low sex drive. When should I bring it up with someone I am dating? For the first time in almost 3 years, I have felt attracted to someone. This is rare for me. I’m a heterosexual woman in my early 30s. I have never felt strong sexual attraction. The first time I had sex I was in my mid-20s.

My low sex drive greatly affected my last relationship. I found intercourse painful and didn’t even like the feeling of oral sex. My partner used to say he would “do anything” for me and when I said I wanted to watch TV and cuddle, he would get upset. I’ve been single for almost 3 years and I rarely think about sex except to worry about it.

I am very fearful of being expected to have sex with someone. I do enjoy the emotional closeness from sex, but I don’t need sex very often. When starting a sexual relationship, the other person expects the sex will continue into the relationship. Sometimes, I don’t want to have sex for months at a time. I’m not trying to hurt my partner, but I just have no desire.

I also have trouble handling someone being upset with me for saying, “no” to sex. My last boyfriend used to pout and I would instantly feel completely unloved – as though I was only good for sex and he didn’t love me unless I had sex with him. We once went on vacation in a militaristic country, where I wouldn’t have felt safe alone. He made it clear that if I didn’t have sex with him, that he would just leave me there by myself, so I consented and just covered my face, cringed and said “ow” a lot until it was over. Now, not only do I have a low sex drive, but I’m terrified of what a potential partner will do if I refuse to have sex.

So… hive mind, when do you think I should tell this new person that I am not interested in sex? I think I could handle once a week at the very most, but would highly prefer every other week. As an alternative, should I start looking for older men? How old were you when your interest in sex declined? Finally, does my ex’s behavior regarding sex sound normal? Should I expect that type of behavior from most men?

Give Me You Worst Shot

shaun uh — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 14:39:46 -0800

I'm looking for the grossest/most painful pictures on the internet. I'm looking for some seriously awful pictures/video to use in a social experiment. They should be the kind of pictures that provoke either the response "That's disgusting!" or "Ouch! Painful!" They should also be real, undoctored photos/video, as far as you know.

A trip through the metafilter archives found me:
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/insects/wormeye.asp
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/3077300.stm

But I need more! And worse! Help?

Please, please, please my knees!

gergtreble — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 12:42:23 -0800

Is there a low impact alternative to the Couch to 5k? I've just started week 5 of the Couch to 5k plan (well... I'm repeating week 4 to be honest). But I'm having problems, my knees are feeling it badly. I broke down on the middle session of week 4 and was in some discomfort for the whole weekend. I've been to see my Doctor and she told me to take some anti-inflammatories if it got any worse. Now I'm not a quitter so I've jumped straight back on the horse so to speak, and it feels ok at the moment. But I'm thinking that I could probably do with an equivalent plan that's not as hard on my poor old knees (OK OK! I'm only 31!!). And not have to resort to pharmaceutical measures. So is there an equivalent plan? Say for the elliptical machine, bike or rowing machine? Or do you have any other ideas into how I can increase my cardiovascular fitness gradually whilst working towards a goal?

Some stats: I'm a 31 year old male, recently joined the gym after working 2 years on a night shift where I put on 14Kg (30lbs). Starting weight = 108kgs (240lbs) Current weight= 97kg (214lbs). I'm looking more to getting cardiovascular fitness rather than weight loss.

Hope you can give me some tips!

Drunk sex = regret

Turd Ferguson — Tue, 09 Jan 2007 18:59:32 -0800

Why don't we get drunk and screw? Because it burns! Can anybody tell me why? (Some mildly graphic details inside.) Everybody likes drunk sex. But I've come to the point where I'll abstain from relations if I've had so much as a couple of alcoholic drinks. This is because there is a high likelihood that it will end up in pretty severe discomfort for me. Shortly after ejaculation, I will get a feeling that I have to urinate (whether I really do or not). When I do -- or eventually even if I don't -- I get a burning/stinging sensation towards the end of my penis. The best way I can describe it is that it feels like there is a small amount of urine stuck in my urethra. It doesn't hurt during urination, only afterwards. And the urge to pee remains after I am done. This is very uncomfortable, and tends to last a few hours.

I am a ~30 year old man, with no problems with sex as long as alcohol is not involved. The only thing I've found online that sounds similar was talking about prostatitis, but I don't think that's likely, since it's been happening since I've been sexually mature. I have no STDs. It has happened a few times without alcohol being involved, but very rarely. It seems worse with beer than with wine or liquor, to the point where I thought it might be an issue with the carbonation. But it has also happened with uncarbonated alcoholic drinks.

My question: does anybody have any idea what this is? Any advice, other than talking to a doctor or abstaining (from alcohol or sex)?

Very tight gastrocnemius(calf) muscle?

anonymoose — Thu, 10 Aug 2006 15:49:47 -0800

RunningFilter: What do I do about a very tight gastrocnemius (calf) muscle? I'm on my 4th week of a 16 week marathon training plan (my first marathon), and my gastrocnemius gets tighter and tighter with each passing run. Assuming I understand this stuff, it's the gastrocnemius, because it's very hard to move my toes upwards ('dorsoflex'?) when my leg is straight, but easy when my leg is bent. I stretch my calves for about 90 seconds per leg, 5 times a week in the following manner:

I can't seem to get any decent amount of stretch from the against-a-wall leaning thing often recommended for calf stretching.

It's getting so tight that I can't do any hamstring stretches with a straight leg, because it feels like my calf is literally ripping in half. :P This is particularly painful with anything that even sort of resembles this:

(The seated hamstring stretches are a bit more managable)

Do I need to be stretching it even more, or what?

My Wife Needs a Hand

SparkyPine — Wed, 23 Nov 2005 07:58:03 -0800

What could be causing my wife's hands to become numb and painful at night?? Within the last few months, my 43 y/o wife has been complaining of (mostly) night time pain, tingling, and numbness in both her hands. Last night it was so bad that she was up almost crying at 4am and had to pace around until it finally stopped. It's only when she is laying down that it becomes that bad. Otherwise, she is ok but complains at time that it is difficult to use her hands for prolonged periods during the day.

She quit smoking last January and has gained a lot of weight since. She has a family history of arthritis (her mom has it). It just does not seem like arthritis...at least, if it is, I didn't realize it could do this at night...or could it be something else (cardiac)? No other symptoms like shortness of breath, dizziness, etc. Anyone else who might have arthritis go through this? What helps?

She is calling the doctor today but, since it's the day before Thanksgiving here in the States, we probably won't be seeing a doctor for a few days, if not next week.