Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with overthinking

I'm not supposed to kiss through Saran wrap, am I?

Anonymous — Fri, 15 May 2009 21:33:55 -0800

I'm about to enter the college dating scene - or sex scene, I guess. I know to always use condoms - but what about kissing? I know diseases can spread orally, but I never hear about anyone worrying about kissing. Is there something that I somehow have never realized? Lets just assume that I will be having at least one one night stand, or same-person-every-now-and-then in my life: do I kiss the other person? What do people generally do anyway - avoid deep kissing, and just do light pecking kisses?

In the past, I've only kissed and had sex with boyfriends. I am totally at a loss when it comes to the kissing protocol of casual dating.

FWIW, I'm a straight girl - though if the opportunity presented itself and was awesome enough, I wouldn't mind kissing another girl.

Throwaway email: tempmefimail@fastmail.fm

Slogans, Quotes or Mottos Lauding Action Over Overthought/Overplanning?

WCityMike — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 15:25:51 -0800

I'm looking for mottos, slogans, or quotes that are short enough to be easily remembered, that are meant to spur someone to take action towards their goals, and/or that warn against overthinking and overplanning and staying in your head – in other words, that laud the merits of action over thought. I've already thought of "just do it" (which is the precise sentiment I'm looking for), but it is so overplayed that it doesn't have much meaning any longer. Any sentiment of any length is appreciated, but ideally it would be something that easily sticks in your mind.

When to go simple, when to go complex?

world b free — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 15:56:28 -0800

When creating, would you pursue a simple premise you know you can execute to perfection, or would you pursue a really complex you know might flop? I know what I'm really asking about is how to get through a creative process. I do believe you should learn how to draw before you can paint Abstract Expressionism. Maybe I just need some reassurance from Internet strangers.

One piece of me-specific information: I've been at this for about five years, but wouldn't say I can do it at a professional level yet.

Should we invite the class?

LoriFLA — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 13:28:13 -0800

Birthday party etiquette question: Would it be in bad taste to invite my son's preschool classmates to his fifth birthday party? So far my child has been invited to two birthday parties this year. We didn't go to either. My child was sick and sleeping for the first party that was held earlier this year. I called the parent the morning of the party, apologized, and explained the situation. I'm glad we didn't go because the next day he had a rash. It was fifth disease. When I called, the mother said, "Oh I never knew you were coming in the first place." I left a message on her machine a week earlier stating that we would be there. She told me a couple days later that her husband had heard it and erased it on accident.

For the second party that was held a month or so ago, I completely forgot. I RSVPd, marked it on my calendar and I still forgot. I called and apologized that day and sent the present on the next school day.

Now it is time for my kid's birthday. I was going to just have a family party, but I kind of want to throw him a kid party. It is his fifth birthday and he has never had a party with kids, only family.

Would it be tacky to invite the class even though we missed these parties? There have been no other parties. The only two that we were invited to, we weren't there. The class is small, ten students including my child, and I want to invite everybody. Thanks for your input and advice.

Umm, so where abouts is the off button?

chrisbucks — Sun, 16 Dec 2007 06:50:58 -0800

I can't stop thinking, and it's destroying my life! I over think and over analyse every damn situation, it's causing me major depression and stealing my sleep, so how do I stop? Pretty much I over think everything, to the point that it's starting to ruin my academic career, my job, my relationships and everything else!

I find sleeping difficult, because my thoughts tend to peak later at night, as do my creative ideas, so I stay up late frequently, often I'll decide to go to bed, but eventually get restless and go back on the net or read a book. I'll be about to fall asleep then I recall something I read earlier in the day, or something that someone said, so I find myself compelled to go look it up, or 'resolve it' to myself.

It plays havoc with relationships or even potential relationships, seemingly small issues snowball because I sit around pondering how I could have done XYZ differently, or how I should do so and so tomorrow and spend a lot of time pre-judging how I should handle certain situations. I'm sure if you check out my ask.mefi history you'll see a pattern of that kind of stuff (there's some self analysis going on!)

My last few relationship messed up because I dwelled on details too often and never allowed myself to just enjoy where I was...

I suppose it doesn't help that I don't have many friends to distract me, I wouldn't say I'm introverted though.

Sometimes this over active brain I have is very useful, and I don't want to just lose it, but there are times when I wish I could just find the off switch and go into idle mode and just enjoy existance, instead of worrying about details.

Ideally I just need to get laid and chill the ____ out, but I was hoping or a more internal solution that was immediately accessable. Therapy, medication and assorted other things are workable solutions?

I don't actually recall a point in my life where things weren't like this, but I'm pretty sure I was happy at one point...

Relevant biographics: I'm a 22 year old male, media graduate (or close to it) in NZ.

So can I have your number?

whoaali — Sat, 29 Sep 2007 17:30:57 -0800

[Inane and impossible to answer dating question filter] Why don't boys call? I know I know, there could be so many reasons, but I'll narrow it down for you a bit. Some version of the following has happened to me over and over and it's driving me insane.

Meet boy at bar/party/social gathering (generally friend of a friend of a friend type deal).

We chat, he asks for my number, seems very into me, etc. No plans are made, but we seem to hit it off.

He never calls.

Sometimes there are a few variations. Lately, I've been trying to mix it up. I mean this is 2007, I know a guy shouldn't have to do all the work, so I've tried to show a little interest back to encourage them. This generally entails me messaging them on facebook or emailing them. Always very short, usually along the lines of "bring up something we talked about" and "how is you paper/job/current life crisis going?"

So far I've gotten friendly notes back or no response. The friendly notes back are never followed up by more from him.

When guys go to so much effort (some have been noticeably nervous asking me for my number) why don't they ever follow up?

So I have a few theories:

1) Boys just ask girls for numbers if they think they can get them and then decide later whether they are really interested.

2) They were all drinking and in the sober light of day I wasn't quite so awesome.

3) Boys are basically being polite in asking for a girl's number after they have talked/flirted with her for enough time, even if they have no intention of calling.

4) Calling girls is hard and guys will only do it if they feel it is really worth it.

So what gives?