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Did I have an orgasm-induced stroke?!

Anonymous — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 14:00:18 -0800

Why did my face go temporarily numb after an orgasm? NSFW. Last weekend my boyfriend performed oral sex on me for somewhere between 10-20 minutes. Shortly after I orgasmed, my chin, lower lip and left cheek got tingly and went numb for a few minutes. I was trying to smile but couldn't. It was weird.

Some background: I'm a 25-year-old female and completely healthy. I take birth control pills and 20mg of Citalopram daily. My boyfriend and I have been dating long-distance for three months, and our twice-a-month visits are generally 3-times-a-day sex romps (this particular incident was Friday morning, so it was the second or third time we had gone at it). For me, orgasms from oral sex are always the most intense, but this has never happened to me after any kind of orgasm. Prior to this incident I hadn't orgasmed from oral sex in a couple of years, and throughout the rest of the weekend there was nothing was out of the ordinary, sexually or otherwise.

Girl who can't come with partners. If sleeping together only winds up making everyone unhappy, why do it?

Anonymous — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 19:01:47 -0800

I'm a girl who hasn't been able to orgasm with a partner. It's been a major issue in my relationships. Is there really any point to having sexual relationships? (explicit but unsexy text) I started to get myself off when I was about 12, courtesy of the showerhead. I didn't learn how to masturbate manually until around 17. I've always had a high sex drive, and once I learned how to get myself off, I never had any trouble with it. It was so reliable that it never crossed my mind I'd have any difficulty orgasming with a partner. When I started sleeping with someone at 19, and it didn't make me come at first, I was completely sure we just needed a little time to readjust, and then everything would be awesome and simple. Years later, I still haven't adapted, and nothing is awesome or easy.

For me to come, it takes 10-20 minutes of me rubbing my clit. Position, comfort level, and trust all play big roles in timing, while arousal/foreplay has a relatively small effect. Basically the minimum has been 7-10 minutes of me just rubbing my clit, ideally while lying on my back with my legs tensed. Most vibrators feel nice but don't get me anywhere, but the Hitachi Magic Wand does work.

I've tried everything I can think of to break this pattern. I'm not on any antidepressants or other meds that can cause issues. I almost never use my Magic Wand; I haven't used a showerhead in years. I've spent hundreds of dollars on all kinds of other toys for partners to use on me. I've had long-term partners, both serious relationships and trusted FWBs, work on it over the course of months. I've had the occasional one-time thing seeing if they might introduce something new that might do the trick. I've questioned the assumptions I made about who I'm attracted to. With open-minded partners, I've tried plenty of various levels of kinky shit, and wound up liking some of it (light BDSM). I've discovered my G-spot and my deep spot and the joys of anal (all very nice, but not enough). My relationships definitely aren't PIV-centric. And yes, I've abstained from masturbation for months, hoping eventually my body would get frustrated enough for a partner (hell, even my left hand) to trigger an orgasm.

And I still cannot come with a partner without 10-20 minutes of right-hand quality time. So my question is less about "what else can I try?" -- I think I've tried everything -- and more about whether it's fair to a partner to try to have a sexual relationship, or whether it just sets us both up for disappointment and misery.

Of course there are aspects of sex I like other than just the orgasm -- I love pleasing my partner. But that makes me understand how much a partner wants to please me, and how awful you feel when you can't. Also, almost everything feels really good, even if it doesn't make me come . . . but to me a session isn't good if I don't wind up coming eventually. I feel dull and achy and kind of clogged, and can't sleep for hours -- in short, I get blue balls (ovaries?). For me, sex without any hope of orgasm is eventually not worth it. I'm not at all strictly quid pro quo -- for example, I'm happy to give a blowjob without thinking about reciprocation. I just want something, sometimes, that's not totally one-sided.

I love it when a partner helps me come -- by fingering me or fucking me or using a toy or doing anything else that doesn't interfere with me rubbing my clit. At first, everyone is all GGG and great about saying the right things -- "don't stress, don't apologize, I'm fine doing this." But after awhile (whether it's weeks or months) the tune changes. It does get boring for him. He feels like he's not contributing, he can't please me the same way, I could be doing exactly the same thing solo (no matter how much I try to persuade otherwise). He avoids pleasing me, or cheats on me, or dumps me. And -- because I do really love pleasing my partner -- I understand why.

I feel like it's my fault, obviously, for not being up to par. But I also feel like I'm misrepresenting myself or deceiving him. I have a high sex drive, and I'm warm and responsive. If you're making out with me, you would never guess you couldn't make me come. Even when we do get in bed, I'm enthusiastic and not dead-fishing it . . . but it's just. not. enough.

My guy friends tell me how thrilled they are when they find a partner who comes at the drop of a hat. I feel like a gorgeously wrapped, highly anticipated Christmas present -- that winds up containing dirty, mismatched socks. I almost wish I were simply anorgasmic.

#1: I feel like I can never have a sexual relationship that's fulfilling for myself and for my partner. So why do I keep trying to date when it only makes everyone involved unhappy? Shouldn't I just be friends with these guys and save everyone the hassle and upset? This is a serious question. I might be missing out, but it would make life so much simpler, and everyone involved -- not just me, but hypothetical partners -- would be spared a lot of pain when it turns out we're mismatches.

#2: Have you ever been in a long-term relationship with someone like this, and honestly, how much did it hurt the relationship over time? Everyone* says "oh, it doesn't matter, sex isn't the most important thing, I'm happy to be with her blah blah blah" -- and then it winds up mattering. A lot. So are there people who would honestly be able to handle it long-term? If so, how do I select for them? (I'm also concerned that if a guy legitimately didn't care about my issues getting off, his only goal for sleeping with me would be pleasing himself, which is obviously not the kind of mindset a generally awesome/unselfish/sexy person has.)

*Sample size: 11 people I've been naked with, 6 I've received oral from, 2 I've had vaginal sex with, 1 I've had anal sex with. Most but not all were guys.

I know this is a private thing -- I'm guessing there aren't a lot of people who will openly say "yeah, I really liked this girl but she couldn't come with me, and it was such a source of conflict I ended things." So please feel free to e-mail me at convergeretc AT gmail. Thanks so much for whatever advice or experience you can share.

no accounting for taste?

Anonymous — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 19:12:47 -0800

A question about a change in the way a woman tastes during oral sex. NSFW, obviously after a nice long jaunt of going down on my beautiful girlfriend, right before she comes she tastes different, sort of salty, tangier. i think it's awesome, but i'm curious about it too. does anyone know why this would be? my google-fu is not helping at all; i just keep finding erotic stories.

The Conquering Hero "Comes"

Anonymous — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 22:19:41 -0800

My girlfriend can't get me to orgasm. Plenty of NSFWness inside. My girlfriend and I have, in short, reached third base in our relationship: fingers, hands and tongues everywhere. No sex (yet). She's the female equivalent of Jizz In My Pants: she can get off from a gust of wind. OK, not really. But with minimal massaging I can get her to come in under a minute.

I'm not so easy. Before meeting this great girl, I had never been touched below the belt. So when my girlfriend's hands slowly went towards the groin...I felt ticklish and cracked up loudly...real smooth. Every time she tries again, I manage to smother my laughter, but I just don't get the thrill I expected. Dry hands hurt more than help, and saliva or blowjobbing makes it only slightly better. After a few minutes I get close, but I plateau there. Five minutes, she's ready to give up and I'm lying there apathetically.

Having satisfied myself with my hand for way too long, I'm worried I've desensitized myself to anything that's not me.

What's wrong? Is failure to orgasm normal for those who haven't experienced this stuff before? Is it fear? Excessive masturbation? What can I do?

Relevant side note: Peeing is laborious too. Even in an empty bathroom it takes me several minutes for me to start urinating.

Can you get a hickey on your penis?

Anonymous — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 11:14:32 -0800

Can you get a hickey on your penis from receiving (rough) oral sex? I'm a gay male and received oral sex Friday morning. The guy was quite rough, with the strongest...um....suction that I've ever felt, to the point of pain. This went on for about 5 minutes before I asked him to stop and we finished up just jerking off.

About 12 ours later I was in the shower and found a roughly 1.5 inch long discolored area on the top of the shaft of my penis. It was where I remembered the suction being the strongest. It looks exactly like a hickey on someones neck, like a big blackish-blueish bruise. Its not painful to the touch.

I had a full STD check about 6 weeks ago and came back clean. Prior to the oral sex there was no discoloration.

Is it possible to get a hickey on your penis? Should I go see a DR right-away-do-not-pass-go? Is it safe to wait awhile and see if it fades like a "normal" neck hickey?

Throwaway email at layoffmyjunk@gmail.com

Nuvaring and oral sex

slow graffiti — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 16:29:05 -0800

Is my partner ingesting any amount of estrogen from my Nuvaring? Common sense says it's safe for a guy to give oral sex to a girl using Nuvaring, but I wonder...if one were using this method of birth control for years, and had the same partner and regular oral sex, would the partner end up ingesting just a bit more estrogen compared to pills or other methods? Is the hormone not very concentrated in vaginal secretions, meaning it's basically impossible to transmit via oral sex?

My paranoid thinking goes like this: they tell you not to dispose of the ring except in its foil pouch, because they don't want estrogen leaking into ground water, right? Then how is it safe to have oral contact across mucus membranes with it? Obviously it must be safe, but why?

does the contraceptive sponge have a flavor?

Anonymous — Sun, 11 May 2008 16:32:42 -0800

Has anyone used the Today sponge (or another contraceptive sponge) and found that their partner noticed a different *taste*? I'm wondering if the spermicide will alter one's natural flavor.

less head please nsfw

Anonymous — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:52:19 -0800

My partner wants a lot more cunnilingus than I can stand. Here's the catch: I'm the girl. How can we compromise? My longterm boyfriend wants to go down on me every time we have sex. When I agree to it, he will lap away for long stretches of time. If I tell him (with sex-talk, not like "hey, cut it out!") I've had enough or ask him to skip it altogether, he's disappointed.

For a bunch of reasons I don't just suck it up (ha) and let him go down on me as much as he would like. For one thing, I get urinary infections and I'm much more likely to develop one if he's been performing cunnilingus on me. Not a health risk, but it's real uncomfortable and means we can't have sex at all until it's over.

A bigger problem is that I just don't like it that much. I'm pretty sensitive. Too much attention to my clitoris numbs me. If he goes down on me for as long as he likes, I can't really enjoy the P-in-V sex and I can't climax.

I've tried telling him that a softer touch and keeping it a little drier might make it better for me but he can't seem to hold back. I've told it to him gently in a non-sexual place. I've told it to him in a "so jump me now, you bastard" sexy-talk way. I've told it to him in a clinical way. I kind of think a former lover must have trained him to think that all women love lots of oral. So when he's going down on me, I get kind of aggravated that he's not doing what !I! like.

Other-wise, our sex life is great. So is our relationship.

Most of the time I let him perform cunnilingus because I know it gives him pleasure.. But it's really getting in the way of my pleasure. What's the best compromise?

(Just to prevent some possible wrong answers:
1. It's not like he's trying to guarantee tit for tat. I'm very happy to go down on him without him going down on me.
2. Don't tell me to dump him and let someone who appreciates great head have a chance. We're totally compatable except for this, even down to the same kinks.)

What are oldest known written or visual description of cunnilingus and fellatio?

Kattullus — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 07:45:05 -0800

What are oldest known written or visual description of cunnilingus and fellatio? I'm curious to know what are the first recorded mentions or depictions of both male and female oral sex. In my feminist, Nordic social democrat heart of hearts I hope that the earliest reference is to cunnilingus, though I suspect that it's the other way around.

As a bonus I'd like to know what the oldest references are in English.

Herpes schmerpes

Anonymous — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 18:57:26 -0800

Boy meets girl. Boy falls for girl. Girl tells boy she has genital herpes (type 1). Boy says that's OK, I want to be with you. Now boy wants advice on safety. She tells me that she has roughly 1 outbreak per year, usually fairly mild. She also tells me that she has never, to her knowledge, passed it on to a partner, and she has been in long term relationships where they were having unprotected sex.

I know that, obviously, wear condoms. I also know that condoms are not 100%. But what about other acts: digital penetration, oral sex, analingus? I've had cold sores before (last one was maybe 4 years ago, before that it had been at least 3-4 years) so I assume I have orally the same type she has genitally and that dental dams are probably unnecessary (can I be tested for oral herpes in the absence of symptoms?). I just want to make sure that it doesn't spread to any weird parts of my body or hers. Advice?

It hurts when you hit a wall

tdreyer1 — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 20:31:37 -0800

My wife is very 'vanilla' when it comes to intimacy. Okay. First: Background. We are newly-weds of about 6 months. We were each others' first & only partners, but we dove into our sex life and have been having a lot of fun. We have 'regular' sex often, but I like to try new things, so I have been working on my oral routine on her, and have been having a lot of success. The only problem, is when I ask my wife to go down on me, she gets... shy. I think that's the best way to say it. She is not 'shy' when it comes to regular sex, but the moment I mention oral, she gets tense, and no amount of conversation will even convince her to go near me. She also has problems describing/explaining her thoughts and emotions, so I can't get the reason out of her. The closest I've come to getting the reason is that she's (deathly) afraid that she won't be able to breathe while she is doing it, but it seems that this is not the only reason.

I would like any advice you can give me on how to proceed with this situation. I would like to explore this area, but I seem to have hit a wall. I am very open, and able to express my feelings, thoughts, and emotions, but my wife does not have the same ability, and that has gotten in the way of our conversations on this topic. Please help!

p.s. to my knowledge, she has not been abused in any way, and I really have no reason to think so.

Can I learn to enjoy the taste of vagina?

Anonymous — Sat, 14 Jul 2007 09:26:08 -0800

Can I learn to enjoy the taste of vagina? I really want to. I really do want to enjoy licking pussy. I'm an attentive lover who enjoys giving pleasure to women. I love giving long backrubs, and I love using vibrators, dildos, and my fingers on girls. So psychologically you'd think I was into going down on them. As an inexperienced teenager I always heard how much women love guys who lick pussy, and I looked forward to being one of those guys.

Now that I'm out there having sex with girls, I find that I really don't like the smell and taste of most vaginas. There are a few here and there that I don't mind, but so far they've belonged to girls that don't really crave cunnilingus. The ones that I've dated that do want cunnilingus, I've been fairly turned off by the smell and taste. I do enjoy using my fingers on the girls, but the smell of my fingers afterwards is often a turnoff. These have all been pretty sanitary girls who take good care of themselves and bathe regularly.

Has anyone here grown to enjoy the taste of vagina where they previously didn't? Or do you know of anyone? Is there something I should be doing that I'm not? Presently I'm just telling everyone I date that I'm not that into cunnilingus, and they've been ok with it so far.

How to pop the testing question without killing the mood?

Anonymous — Sun, 22 Apr 2007 04:01:10 -0800

My basic question is how to do the “let’s get tested for STDs” talk/request without turning off the other person. General responses are great, and if you have the patience to read about my experience inside, specific advice and suggestions would be really nice. So I asked a guy I was dating for a couple of months and probably turned him off in the process, because we broke up later that day. I doubt it was the only reason for the split (we had some personality conflicts) but it certainly feels like a contributing factor. I’m less experienced, he knows that, and we had made out a few times (kissing, snuggling, handjobs for him). On the day we split, when we made out he asked if I would want to try oral sex. I do and told him so, but said I also had concerns and wanted to be safe, and asked if he would consider getting tested. I also asked how many people he’d had sex with. I said I would get tested too – This confused him a little, I think, b/c I’ve told him I’m a virgin, so I explained that it would be to be fair and for his peace of mind. Then he said that he’s ok b/c he had given blood last year - (is that equivalent to an STD test by the way? should I have stopped talking about testing at that point?)

I explained why I was asking - that I had seen a clinic's chart which showed more health risks for women performing oral sex on men than vice versa, and that I just wanted to be safe before going ahead & trying oral sex. He mentioned that he was careful and had never had sex of any kind with someone who had a sore on her lip or genitals. I told him that was cool but that things like that probably aren’t always visible on a person’s body surface. I offered to show him the chart I was talking about online when we got back to my apt. I think that's where I went wrong. Because he said that he didn't want to look at charts, that it didn't sound romantic. And when we got back, we didn't go back to my apt. He called me later that night to break up. I know other personality conflicts were a part of that decision, but I feel like the way I handled the "let's get tested" talk played a part. Is there a better way? How have you handled it? Even if this question doesn't show it, I do have a sense of humor and would be willing to try a more playful approach if that’s better than being clinical and straightforward.

Also, hopefully, next time, the guy will still want to see me after I ask...so what happens next after you ask? Do you show each other your lab results? If someone says they gave blood & that's an acceptable screen for STDs...is it ok to ask for proof (an "I gave blood" sticker?). I realize some amount of trust is necessary in relationships where sex is involved & I can't always be sure. I just want some idea of what is reasonable & how specifically to request it without turning someone off. I suddenly feel like asking someone to get tested so that he can be the recipient of my first, awkward, fumbling attempts at pleasing him is like asking a lot of someone. I don’t want to feel that way.

If blowjobs bug me, should I avoid dating men? I'm female.

Anonymous — Fri, 20 Apr 2007 07:37:32 -0800

If blowjobs bug me, should I avoid dating men? I'm female. [NSFW] I was surprised to see so many people respond to this question saying that not all gay men like anuses and that it's perfectly fine for men to date men while avoiding the anus. I'm (honestly, innocently) wondering if you'd all say the same about women not giving blowjobs. It doesn't seem like people feel that way about men avoiding cunnilingus--the pervading attitude seems to be that if you're willing to stick your penis into it, you should be willing to put your mouth on it.

I'm female. I like women. I've been attracted to men before, but the idea of performing oral sex on a man grosses me out. This happens even when I think about giving blowjobs to specific men I seem attracted to. Like the other poster, I'm a virgin, but I've seen lots of [porn and non-porn] pictures of penises and vulvas. The thought of having penis-in-vagina (or butt) sex doesn't bug me at all, and the thought of performing oral sex on a person with a vulva doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Mostly, I've assumed that if I don't like penises enough to want to put one in my mouth, I shouldn't date people who have them. (Oral sex with a pre-op MtF transsexual would bug me too--it's a sex thing, not a gender thing.) Obviously, each person with a penis will have their own feelings about having a partner who will never give them a blowjob, but what is the general wisdom about this? Generally avoid dating men, or not?

Since I'm also attracted to women, I don't feel the need to learn to love giving blowjobs in the way the previous poster felt he should learn to love assholes. I suspect people would tell me I should chill the fuck out and go with the flow/date whoever I'm attracted to, but I'm curious about the general attitude towards this.

Uncut and underexperienced.

Anonymous — Fri, 09 Feb 2007 21:56:33 -0800

I need some tips for giving oral sex to a man who isn't circumcised. I've given a lot of oral sex, but most American men are circumcised, and so that's all I know about. Does it differ substantially? Are there things I need to know that could 'trip me up' and so on?

My vote goes for marzipan.

Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson — Sat, 16 Dec 2006 01:56:20 -0800

Having read the ying, I am now curious about the yang: fellatio aficionados, what does it taste like to you?

I don't want my pussy to taste like rain! I want my pussy to taste like pussy!

Ambrosia Voyeur — Fri, 01 Dec 2006 19:54:25 -0800

Connoisseurs of Cunnilingus: What does it taste like to you? I know this may seem pervy, but I ask out of genuine, longtime curiosity, which has not been resolved despite performing in the Vagina Monologues - twice!

As long as I've had my culele, I've wondered what "normal" is, like many women, I'm sure. I have my own ideas, but trying to describe yourself is cognitively bizarre! (lavender and bacon??)

I'd like to hear some generalities and hopefully some refined epicurean descriptions of the good and bad, perhaps illuminated with the nature of your acquaintance with The Pink One.

Fuck off, trolls.

Make my girlfriend more confident so we can have better sex

Anonymous — Thu, 30 Nov 2006 07:10:30 -0800

My partner loves going down on me. She loves kissing me once or twice, briefly sucking me like a lollipop, and is uneasy about doing anything more, which ends up being frustrating for both of us. I have tried cajoling her into being more adventurous, begging her not to stop after thirty seconds, encouraging her to go further. I was hoping that I could make her feel that we can both get more enjoyment out of it, but all I have achieved is making her feeling like crap, convincing her that she cannot satisfy me and will always underperform as much as she expects. She says she is afraid of gagging and puking if she takes me in any deeper or if I come inside her mouth while at the same time acknowledging that these fears are irrational. She used to be similarly squeamish about any kind of oral sex, but after getting over her fears found out that she loved both going down on me and me going down on her.

Some of her ideas about sex are, as far as I can tell, unusual. She finds her vulva disgusting, and is grossed out by the idea of touching it. Although she will touch herself or use toys during sex, she will only ever use the showerhead when she (very rarely) does masturbate on her own, and never touched herself before we met. She will not touch my penis again once it has been in contact with her vulva. I have tried to make her feel better about it, telling her that it does not gross me out, that it looks very nice and that I enjoy going down on her, again with little success. She rarely initiates sex, and gets distracted, turning me off by talking about random things.

We were having sex one warm afternoon and she forgot that her mother was coming to drop off some stuff. When the doorbell rang, she panicked, refused to ignore it like I suggested, and got dressed while telling me "you don't understand, it's my mom, I can't do this if she's there, she's really mean". In many ways, she is still as a child hiding her own sexuality in front of her mother. I feel that her not being confident and comfortable about her own sexuality is the deeper problem, and that her reluctances are symptoms of that.

We are both 22, and have been together for three years, living together for two. She was a virgin when we met. Her parents are pretty much agnostic and seem to have a very normal sex life. Psychoanalysis books on the topic are on their living room bookshelves – they don't treat sex like something that should be hidden.

Can I help her feel better about herself, feel better about enjoying sex, maybe understand where this insecurity could come from? On an easier note, can I get better blowjobs in the meanwhile?

Followup questions can go here

How to finish a blowjob?

Anonymous — Sun, 21 May 2006 11:53:39 -0800

Help a girl out with oral sex. I like to give blow jobs but I haven't had a guy come in my mouth since that one time years and years ago when I tried it for the first time on my then-boyfriend and involuntarily gagged when he orgasmed. Since then, I've been so afraid I might puke, which has to be the unsexiest thing ever, that I've never tried it again. Do you guys have any tips, techniques or advice? I don't currently have a boyfriend, but I get some action now and again and I want to get over this hangup. How do I get over the fear of puking? And what's it really like? Surely not as dramatic as I've built it up to be, right? Right? And for the guys, how important is it to finish that way anyway?

She's only had one outbreak of genital herpes a year ago. Do I still need protection?

Anonymous — Thu, 11 May 2006 11:19:22 -0800

What is the relative safety of certain sexual acts with a partner who has had one confirmed outbreak of genital herpes and no subsequent outbreaks? I, a male, have been dating a girl for a year. I was aware that shortly before we started dating, she contracted genital herpes (from oral sex), and had one severe outbreak. Since that incident, a year and a few months have passed with many stressful circumstances and no outbreaks. We have had sex with condoms and oral sex with dental dams, but not surprisingly, we have considered moving away from both of those (especially with oral sex, since she would prefer not to use birth control). While I know you can never say never, and that herpes can reoccur at any time, I was wondering how safe I would be engaging in either or both of the aforementioned activities. I believe that shedding will continue to occur at irrelegular intervals for the rest of her life, but if she is asymptomatic, could this affect me?

Is it safe to give oral sex to someone on antibiotics?

Anonymous — Fri, 27 Jan 2006 20:22:05 -0800

Is it safe to perform oral sex on someone who is taking antibiotics (NOT for an STI)? I am currently taking antibiotics (Augmentin = 875mg amoxicillin +125mg clavulanic acid) for a sinus infection. Reading the literature, I noticed that it is not recommended for nursing mothers (unless deemed absolutely medically necessary) because of the presence of antibiotics in the milk.

I was wondering about the amount of antibiotic present in semen and whether it could/would have ill effects on a woman performing oral sex or having vaginal sex.

More specific questions are: how much of the antibiotic would be present in semen? Obviously, only small amounts of semen are generally released. Given that taking small quantities (or an incomplete course) of an antibiotic increase the likelihood of resistant strains of bacteria, is there a risk associated with this quantity of antibiotics? In vaginal intercourse, is there a risk of killing off natural bacteria, increasing the chances of a yeast infection? Are there other risks/considerations?

I am not a biologist, but I do have a reasonaby strong general scientific background, so links to the literature would be particularly appreciated. Informed speculation is also welcome.

SexFilter: Help me hone my oral sex giving skills for my new girlfriend

Anonymous — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 10:52:43 -0800

I am a younger male who wants to be a better lover to my new girlfriend, specifically in regards to giving her oral sex. I sense she doesn't like to talk about these things explicitly, and I'm not entirely sure I know what I'm doing. What I'd like to know from MeFites is: what qualifies as good head for a woman? Fast, slow, teasing, aggressive? What feels best? And what things should be avoided as not to spoil the moment? (I'm a little skeptical some female MeFites will feel comfortable offering explicit advice, but I'm pretty sex-positive and I hope some of you are too!)