Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with oral

Oral sex and jaw pain.

Anonymous — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 19:46:11 -0800

How on earth can I give a blowjob to completion without my jaw recoiling in pain? Over the years I've come in contact with a variety of penises of all shapes and sizes that I love to suck. I really really like giving head, and I've been told that I'm pretty good at it. But I cannot, for the life of me, go longer than five minutes or so, so I never get the chance to finish my men off that way, and I would like to be able to every once in a while.

Yes, I take breaks where I continue to use my hand(s) and I'll do some licking or other non-jaw-oriented moves. But if my jaw was hurting before I took a break, as soon as I continue with the mouth in-and-out the pain immediately returns, so breaks don't really help much.

I know the first thing you want to scream is "TMJ!", but I have never had any other symptoms and I really don't think that's the problem.

I also have given head from pretty much every imaginable angle, and none are better than any other.

Lastly, please don't say "oh he's just happy that he's got someone down there to begin with, don't worry about it" or "finish him off with your hand, he'll just be happy to orgasm", etc, etc. I just really want to do this for my own satisfaction.

So, I'm looking for possible exercises, stretches, or techniques that you have used to overcome this problem, or any other suggestions you may have.

Thanks!

Why does my nose run when I perform oral sex on a man?

Anonymous — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 15:31:05 -0800

Why does my nose run when I perform oral sex on a man? (NSFW details inside) I'm a woman who really enjoys giving head to a man, but I've often found that I will get the sniffles if the session is prolonged, especially in the morning. I'm not usually a sniffly person and this doesn't seem to be associated with a cold or allergies. It's somewhat more likely if this a morning session, although it can happen any time during the day. It's a little annoying, but amusing, too, and we both giggle when I have to both wipe my face and blow my nose afterwards.

Am I a little congested and unaware of it until my breathing is constricted by a full mouth? If his cock is hitting various points in my mouth and throat, is it sometimes triggering an associated nerve that makes my nose run? Any other ideas?

Interviews, Research & Archiving, oh my!

ikahime — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 12:06:04 -0800

I'm preparing for a massive personal archiving/interviewing trip with my grandparents and need advice regarding many aspects of the project. My grandparents came to America from Lithuania during WWII and have an amazing story that my cousin and I started documenting several years ago. Life being what it is, we really only got a rough outline and are now going for another week long visit with them (now 97 and 90 years old, but still witty and spry). Not only do they have some great/astounding anecdotes that we haven't documented, they also have an amazing collection of photos (some taken by Life Magazine photographers) which are in not such good order (to say nothing of being stored or digitally preserved).

Here are some of my concerns that perhaps y'all could help me with:

History: I'm not a historian, and so have been trying to bone up on the Soviet-Nazi conflict that took place in the Baltic States. Books and online resource recommendations are appreciated.

Preservation: I need to construct a good workflow for organizing/digitizing old photos. How best to store? Should I be uploading to the cloud, or bring an external hard drive with me?

Interview: Getting these stories out of them is not usually too hard, but I'm wondering about tried and true methods of biographical interview. Should we march thru the historical timeline? Jump around and organize later? Are there some good prompts I shouldn't forget to ask them?

Documentation: I would like to either film or audio record or both. I will probably have access to a decent microphone + laptop and a so-so digital video camera. Should I have both roll at the same time, or just favor one vs. the other? This is my weakest link. Is Audacity a good enough program, or should I be throwing down for something else?

In addition to doing this for my own (and my family's) edification, I'm gathering this info now for some sort of creative project in the future (still yet to work out - could be something as mundane as a book, or more outlandish like an interactive sculpture, or hyperlinked map). I've started making things like timelines and maps of their trip from Lith to Germany to Britain to the US; got any other ideas of rich add-ons?

Lastly, I'm looking for other media to bring with me that may enhance their reminiscing, especially music of the era/region (they were in Germany for quite a few years in the late 40s. Got some faves?

Thanks to all in advance!

Removing molar and wisdom tooth in STL

lizarrd — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 00:14:30 -0800

Need to get molar and wisdom tooth removed in STL without any insurance. Know of any good cost-effective places to go/Any good ideas? So, my girlfriend is willing to help me lose this molar that's pretty much been causing me pain. I don't have the money to get rid of it otherwise and there's this wisdom tooth that's been causing me pain as well. Can an oral surgeon do both or should I visit both a dentist AND an oral surgeon? Anyways, yeah, in STL any good suggestions for cost-effective measures for this sort of thing? Also, I would much rather be out of it/ have it be painless, for most of it. I hate going to the dentist, even those I love.

How to make a guy cum when he barely fits in your mouth?

Anonymous — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 13:16:22 -0800

His cock barely fits in my mouth; how can I give better head? (NSFW) I really didn't want to ask this and I apologize if it's come up before, but I searched the archives and the rest of the internet and have mostly been bogged down by general fellatio guides and porn. So here's the deal: I enjoy giving men oral sex, and I enjoy making them orgasm from oral even more. But I have never made my current partner (of two years) cum from oral. Maybe I'm just awful at it, but I never thought I was bad at blow jobs before this; I was always able to make men cum pretty quickly and they told me I was good at it. I realize everyone is different, but I cannot figure out what to do with my partner that will make him cum.

I think there are two issues: the first is that he is very well endowed. His penis is 7" in girth (circumference) at the thickest and I can't fit it all in my mouth; at best, I can manage about 3/4 of it, and it isn't very comfortable for me. I don't have a lot of room to work when I do get him in my mouth. The length isn't an issue (also 7"), as I've managed longer cocks than his just fine.

The second issue is that he claims he "can't cum from oral." He's never done it before, but I refuse to accept that he can't and I want to make it happen. He says he enjoys getting head, but what happens is he usually likes to try to face-fuck me and ram his cock as far down my throat as he can, which sets off my gag reflex like crazy (I'm surprised I haven't vomited all over him yet). He would really like me to deep-throat him, and although I've been able to with every other guy I was with (guys who were longer than him) I just can't take his cock. It's frustrating.

He masturbates with the hardest grip I've ever seen (but doesn't masturbate much anymore) and I have managed to make him cum with hand jobs (although it is hard work and can take awhile (because I do not use a death grip)). He has no trouble at all coming from intercourse and can come in only a couple minutes depending on the position (doggy works the quickest). I've tried licking, sucking, swirling, using my hand with my mouth, I've read a million "this gets every guy off" guides, I've done everything that so easily got off so many other guys before, but no dice. So with all that I'm not expecting much, but for those of you who are well-endowed or who have had experience with someone who gave you functional difficulties with technique, what did you do and how did you overcome it?

Chip off the ol' molar

Riki tiki — Thu, 21 May 2009 21:00:53 -0800

How worried should I be about my chipped tooth? So I found this previous question, which is almost tailor-made to my situation as of tonight. I'll be following the "don't sweat it, maybe get some over-the-counter temporary filling" advice from that thread, so I'm less panicked about that than I was earlier tonight.

However, I am concerned about why it chipped. There was no impact, no particularly hard food that caused it. I was just flossing back there, felt a little snag and assumed it was a piece of food, and came back instead with two prongs of my top right molar. I have no pain or anything like that and my teeth look more or less fine, but is it possible that the looks are deceiving and my teeth are about to fall out en masse due to some unnoticed systemic decay?

I exaggerate a bit, but I am troubled. I'm currently without dental insurance, haven't been to a dentist in two+ years, and not in an awesome financial position to have to take on a bunch of medical bills.

Do I need to bite the bullet (not literally) and make an appointment even if it means my credit cards will have to wait a while longer to be paid off? Or is this something I can put a band-aid on (not literally) and postpone until I hopefully find a job with dental benefits in the nearish future?

Help me come!

Anonymous — Fri, 08 May 2009 20:49:36 -0800

How can I get off from oral sex? I'm a 30 year old straight male, and have an incredibly difficult time with blow jobs. As in, I can never seem to get off from one. I enjoy them. They feel great. I just don't seem to come from them (or if I do, it takes a tortuously long time).

Oh, don't get me wrong - it has happened before on rare occasions, but it is certainly the exception rather than the rule. This has caused no small degree of consternation for my various female partners over the years, with a couple even breaking down in tears thinking they were doing something wrong.

I am thinking that this sort of response has turned on itself and become a point of anxiety for me, making me think more about trying to come than simply enjoying the BJ...but I can't seem to turn it OFF. Then I start to feel guilty about how long it's taking, etc., etc. God forbid there is some other distraction present such as, say, the chance of getting caught.

What can I do to just relax and enjoy the ride? How can I finish? How normal is this?

How should I deal with anxiety about performing oral sex?

Blikktheterrible — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 22:38:25 -0800

How should I deal with anxiety about performing oral sex? So, the question itself is pretty simple and similar questions have been asked before, but in my case it involves my own neuroses and history. Some of it is sad, some is gross, and some might be funny. For as long as I can remember, I have had issues with eating. To put it simply, I just don't like most food. I don't mean like 50% of potential meals. Of the foods that I have encountered, I have probably strongly disliked well over 90%. This also isn't just a bad taste in my mouth. When I eat something that I really dislike, I often gag. If I keep eating, I often vomit. I have been told that my abnormally strong gag reflex was even present when I was a baby. This is one of the major problems in my life and has caused much embarrassment and discomfort. I don't know why I hate foods so much, but part of it is probably the fact that I had severe (deadly) food allergies as a baby and young child. So, that's one part of the whole mess.
There's also the sexual component. I know that it's common for (inexperienced) people to be anxious about their sexual performance. I'm an anxious person. I'm being treated for that. Still, there is some foundation for my sexual fears. They go back several years to a time when I experimented sexually with my best friend. I was horny, curious, and very close to him and we tried some gay stuff together. I'm not ashamed of doing gay things, but I'm somewhat ashamed of how bad I was at them. Basically, it was an epic fail. If I had been as bad at straight sex, I would assume that I was gay. The relevant point in all of this is that during one of my attempts at giving a blowjob, my friend came in my mouth. I immediately threw up a bunch. Fortunately, I didn't vomit on him or his things, but it was pretty unpleasant for both of us. I think it was the texture that got me.
Now, I'm hoping that at some point in my life I have sex with a woman. I assume she would want me to perform cunnilingus. I have even spent quite a while fantasizing (someone vaguely) about eating out, but my past experience and present neuroses make me more than a little anxious about the whole picture. I mean, anything resembling the aforementioned "incident" would probably be extremely embarrassing for all involved and damaging to our relationship. As someone who is easily discouraged, I would like to be as well prepared as possible. This seems to me to be a complex and open-ended problem, with a few psychological, physiological, and social layers to it. Any helpful (or at least non-hurtful) comments would be appreciated.

How do I better get my boyfriend off? NSFW

chichimimizu — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 19:24:55 -0800

So I've started dating this guy. He is 24 and I am 22. We're both unbelievably attracted to each other. Our sex life is mostly awesome. Or at least I think it is. I get off bunches. Him less so. He's come in me maybe twice, the rest of the time after one of us (mostly him) declares the penetrative portion of intercourse "done," he'll then take off the condom and finish in my mouth. The problem is this takes a really, really, really long time; a lot of time as long as the sex itself (twenty to thirty minutes). His dick often goes soft in the middle of it. Plus, when I say "finish in my mouth" I really mean I blow him for a little while until he gets frustrated with my speed or irregular bobbing or something and jerks it, my face buried in his balls, until eventually he goes "Ok!" and comes in my mouth. I've only brought him to orgasm through oral twice. This is really NSFW.

I am young and somewhat inexperienced but kinky and a fast learner and not even close to a virgin. I've gotten, um, "positive reviews" on my oral skills before, but when I'm blowing him I get very little feedback. He pretty much lies there in silence until he orgasms. Sometimes he watches a little TV.

Oral with my previous partners was usually less face in balls/bobbing frantically on the tip and more of a full body thing. He is much more experienced than I am, he's had ten times as many sexual partners, and he's also pretty into porn. He is uncool with having his nipples played with, uncool with having his taint played with, way uncool with anything butt-related, and super ticklish literally all over. He feels impossible to touch. He is pretty into dirty talk, so I've attempted that with varying degrees of success. I mostly feel ridiculous.

Also, when I'm on top, he's pretty much only okay with a really fast up and down jack-off-esque motion which is, while mostly fun if not particularly arousing, exhausting after only a few minutes. When he's on top, my only job is to more or less lie there and take it.

I'd like to give him spectacular head that leaves him speechless. In a good way. More than anything I'd like him to get off inside of me or soon after pulling out, not after twenty minutes. I'd like to know how to do this.

More like I need widsom insertion, amirite?

Anonymous — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 13:23:27 -0800

Talk me down: Wisdom teeth removal and utter terror. I have to have all four wisdom teeth removed. Due to the particulars of at least one of these teeth, I will need to undergo general anesthetic to have the procedure done. I am terrified -- so much so that I have put off having the surgery for almost a year even though it means that I am living with some level of constant pain.

Part of the fear is due to the fact that I watched the horror movie the dental surgeon's office shows to all their prospective patients -- the one showing exactly what could go wrong and listing all the terrible possible side effects (like permanent lack of sensation on the face, etc). But part of it is because I have never had general anesthetic before. Beyond being scared by stupid Dateline stories about people undergoing general anesthesia and being paralyzed but fully conscious of their pain, I'm also scared about complications, and worried about how I'll respond. Also, the last time I was given serious pain medication (percocet), I had a very severe reaction, and I don't want to experience that ever again.

Can someone talk me down? Has anyone had all four teeth extracted under general and emerged more-or-less unscathed? Does having had a psychotic reaction to percocet predispose me to a bad reaction to general anesthesia?

(This anonymous due to shame...)

How exactly will my dentist fix these cavities?

Anonymous — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 08:49:56 -0800

Cavities: I have one in both of my two front teeth, one of which is fairly significant. Both of them are on the outside edge of the respective teeth, and thus sandwiched between my front teeth and the teeth next to them. How will a dentist fix this? As a touring musician, hygiene sometimes takes a backseat. I know this is not acceptable, and it also has much to do with a significant lack of 'enforcement' about dental hygiene when growing up. Now that I have dental insurance, I've resolved to have my teeth fixed and to take care of them moving forward. As dentists make me nervous however, I would like to know what to expect in having these two cavities addressed.

Of my two front teeth, the one on the right (the #8 tooth) has a pretty significant cavity on the right side, which has also done a small bit of damage to the #7 tooth as well. There is absolutely no pain or sensitivity in this cavity (or the other for that matter), but it is quite embarassing and clearly needs to be addressed. I am quite certain that both of these cavities are due to infrequent flossing.

As I understand it, a dentist will clean this out or something and fill it, but I can't imagine how they will do that thoroughly with the #7 tooth hindering access somewhat, and also how they will repair the small amount of damage to the #7 tooth; once these are both addressed, will the repair look natural? Also, my #9 tooth has the exact same problem, but it hasn't quite created a hole yet. However, the dark discoloration is there and it is clear that a significant cavity is forming. With their not being a hole to fill there, will the dentist have to drill out the damaged portion of the tooth in order to fill it? Also, my #10 tooth was chipped quite severely a few years ago, so they extracted what was left of it and put a post and a crown in place which looks/feels great. As I assume that is somehow bonded, will they remove that crown in order to allow for easier access to the developing cavity on my #9 tooth.

My question is fairly broad in that I'd like to know what to expect as far as exactly how they will address these cavities, and what kind of pain and timeframe will be involved. I'd like to have it taken care of as soon as possible. I'm sure I have a few other cavities in my back teeth and such, and I'm probably long overdue for a cleaning, but if I request that my dentist address the front cavities first, will they oblige? Is there any chance that they could just knock me out and take care of these all at once?

Thanks, MeFites!

Alternatives to liquid mouthwash for travelers?

Kerim — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 23:10:37 -0800

Are there other products as effective in reducing plaque which take up less space in my luggage? Or is there some way to find listerine in a powdered form? I use listerine regularly. Not for bad breath, but because (based on personal experience) when used in addition to flossing it seems to help reduce plaque and keep my gums healthy. While it is possible to easily pick up small travel size bottles in the US, I often travel to places where it is not so easy to pick up a bottle. And I like to travel light, so bringing large bottles of liquid isn't something I'm willing to do. Not to mention bans on liquids in carry-on luggage...

I knew someone who was once given listerine in a powder form by their doctor before a trip to a third-world country, but I don't see any such thing available for sale online, even at places that specialize in supplies for dental clinics. (There is listerine powder for sale, but its from the 1940s!)

So I thought I'd turn to MeFi to see if anyone had any suggestions. Are there other products as effective in reducing plaque which take up less space in my luggage? Or is there some way to find listerine in a powdered form?

Thanks for your suggestions!

I can haz oral historiez cat? Lolstudz

sully75 — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 09:30:42 -0800

I'd like to get as many hours of Studs Terkel interviewing or just talking as I possibly can. On MP3. For free or very cheap. I find that listening to the late, great Studs Terkel makes me feel generally better about everything, helps me to understand the world better and reinforces my sense of ethics.

I've found isolated tidbits here and there (recently on Fresh Air and Open Source and This American Life).

But I want MORE MORE MORE. More Studs.

I know he has great books but I like the sound of his voice as much as anything.

Any suggestions where to find more Studs? I got a fever, and the prescription is more Studs.

Oral thrush - vaginal yeast?

crunch buttsteak — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 15:54:17 -0800

I was diagnosed today with oral thrush. How did I get it? Can I pass it orally? Other-than-orally? More inside. I've noticed there are a lot of yeast-related AskMe questions, and there seem to be a lot of yeast-knowledgeable folks here. So, here goes.

Situation:
- Earlier in the week, I noticed my tongue hurting towards the front, like a canker sore. I've gotten canker sores on my tongue before.
- Around Tuesday, I noticed the papillae (?) on the right and left corners of the tip of my tongue were somewhat elongated, and whitish at the tips. Odd. I didn't have time to go to the doctor (the medical clinic/aid station, since I am in the Marines and live on base).
- Yesterday and more so today, the papillae on the left and right tip of my tongue are elongated and white. My tongue itself, in the same place, has shallow vertical cracks that hurt, esp. when exposed to toothpaste or stuff of that nature.
- I went to the Naval Hospital today. The doctor took one glance at my tongue, declared it oral thrush, and walked out. I got his assistant to go ask him a few questions for me while he was writing up my prescription for Nystatin.

Questions and given answers:
Q: Is it contagious? A: It shouldn't be, so long as I have been using the medication consistently for about two days. Also, periodically rinse with warm salt water.
Q: Could I have gotten it from my girlfriend? Through contact with her mouth or her vagina? A: The only way to tell is if my girlfriend develops similar symptoms of oral thrush.
Q: Can I transfer it back to her? A: Again, stay consistent with the medication, and "give it a few days" to be safe.

My questions to you: Were those answers correct? I wasn't able to sit down with the doctor and actually discuss with him the relationship between the fungi that cause oral thrush and vaginal yeast infections (which are supposedly the same). I personally don't think I got it from the gf this past weekend - we've been sexually active together since last year, and this is the first occurrence of its kind.

I would likely have to schedule another appointment simply to speak to another doctor on the subject, and that might not be feasible until next week. I am seeing my girlfriend again this weekend and, getting straight to the point, we kiss, we have oral sex, and we have sex. Is this a recipe for fungal disaster?

Lastly, should she visit the OBGYN for this? What are her risks? Should she be concerned? About what?

Thanks in advance for your input. I'll be checking back often so feel free to ask followup questions.

Need some oral fixation!

repoman — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 12:03:39 -0800

I need to stay on a quite impressive roll of having given up a long held vice. Could you all please assist in this effort? Specifics inside. Brief history: Have chewed tobacco for most of my life. Just turned 40 and promised my bride I would give it up at 40. Most recently (past 3-4 years it has been the Swedish variety Snus. Before that it was the nasty Skoal, Copenhagen combo). I have been free of this monkey (without relapse) for about a month.

The big question: I need to continue feeding my oral fixation but am running out of ideas. What I need are specific favorites. No gum or candy please. And nothing generic like carrots (unless they are infused with blue cheese). Anyway, the closest I can come to an example is the Trader Joe's brand of habanero pistachios. Almost perfect, except I am really tired of them. So please be specific by brand and maybe where I can find your suggestions. I don't care what it is provided it is not sweet. Thanks a lot.

Should I say or should I come?

Anonymous — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 11:21:26 -0800

Should I say or should I come? or, should a girl say that she didn't have an orgasm. Specifically I'd like to know what guys would want, but girls, I would also love to know how you handle this situation. The situation is sex with someone you met through a dating site, and the girl doesn't have an orgasm, not because the sex is bad, but just practicalities like unable to get the timing right, unfamililarity with the other person and what they like etc. So the sex is great but the girl doesn't get off (but is okay with it), but should she say so? Guys, do you want to know? Do you need to know? Would you be okay if she said it was great, but you didn't know if she came or not? And if you do want to know, how would you like to be told? How does it make you feel to know that she didn't come BUT really enjoyed it? Is mishandling this situation (e.g., telling the guy that you didn't come) grounds for never hearing from them again? If so, can it be fixed?

Please don't speak to me of faking it because I don't like the precedent that that sets, and I really don't think that boys need to have that kind of confusion hoisted on them.

Girls, have you encountered this and handled it successfully? How?

And as a corollary to the above, if a girl wants oral in order to have her orgasm and the guy doesn't seem to be heading that way, is there a good way to suggest it? I haven't encountered anyone who needs that suggested to them so I am really flummoxed as to how to handle it. Is there some universal code word or gesture that communicates one's desire to be eaten out other than "I'm female and naked in bed with you"?

throwaway email: sayorcome@gmail.com

When Does Most Tooth Decay Occur?

jacobean — Tue, 13 May 2008 17:58:07 -0800

When does most tooth decay occur? Obviously it depends on diet, lifestyle etc.

But for the average Western person who eats three meals a day, when does most tooth decay occur? at night? after meals?

I chew on staples, paper clips, and scotch tape. Am I going to die?

Anonymous — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:46:49 -0800

I chew on staples, paper clips, and scotch tape. Am I going to die? I have an oral fixation. It's really bad, actually.

I'm always exposed to office supplies both at home and work. Habitually, I release a few staples from the stapler, throw them in my mouth and suck on them for a bit. Or I take some paperclips and do the same. Also, I tend to take about two inches of scotch tape and chew that -- ingesting the adhesive that comes off right away. Similarly, I chew on straws, drink stirrers, toothpicks, and anything else found at a restaurant.

Am I going to get cancer and die?

Are there any really bad health risks associated with my tendencies?

Thanks AskMeFi

I can't remember ANYTHING before my coffee...

letitrain — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 09:23:30 -0800

I messed up the schedule for my oral typhoid vaccine (Vivotif). I've taken two out of four pills. Should I continue or start over? I'm supposed to take them every two days, in the morning, an hour before eating a meal. I took one on Tuesday morning, forgot yesterday morning, then remembered this morning and took the second pill after eating a light breakfast (fruit and tea).

If I take the other two Sunday and Tuesday morning as prescribed, will I be protected? Or should I scrap it and start over?

The travel clinic where I got them says I should start over, but they have made it clear that they are in it for the money... I've done several Google searches and come up with nothing. Thank you.

Spit, don't swallow - oral caffeine absorption

chrisamiller — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 00:09:41 -0800

I need some information on the amount of caffeine that can reasonably be absorbed through oral membranes. I have a friend who's having some GI problems, but doesn't want to give up her daily kick of caffeine. She's planning on trying to brew up some strong coffee, then swish it in her mouth for a while, until some of the caffeine is absorbed (thus bypassing the GI tract all together)

This seems plausible, as we both know that many drugs can be absorbed through the lining of the mouth. (through the surface of the cheeks and tongue, one relevant term is "sublingual"). We disagree on how effective this method can be, though. I don't think the absorption rate will be high enough to make it worthwhile - she's convinced it will work.

Seems like a simple enough question, but I'm having trouble finding information on the rates of absorption. There's lots of literature on other drugs, and even a patent for a breath-spray type caffeine delivery system, but no solid information on how much she could expect to reach her bloodstream.

So, masters of Google-fu, can anyone find me a source that tells us whether this is feasible? Would it be more feasible with a higher concentration of caffeine, that came from, say a caffeine pill (crushed or otherwise)?

It hurts when you hit a wall

tdreyer1 — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 20:31:37 -0800

My wife is very 'vanilla' when it comes to intimacy. Okay. First: Background. We are newly-weds of about 6 months. We were each others' first & only partners, but we dove into our sex life and have been having a lot of fun. We have 'regular' sex often, but I like to try new things, so I have been working on my oral routine on her, and have been having a lot of success. The only problem, is when I ask my wife to go down on me, she gets... shy. I think that's the best way to say it. She is not 'shy' when it comes to regular sex, but the moment I mention oral, she gets tense, and no amount of conversation will even convince her to go near me. She also has problems describing/explaining her thoughts and emotions, so I can't get the reason out of her. The closest I've come to getting the reason is that she's (deathly) afraid that she won't be able to breathe while she is doing it, but it seems that this is not the only reason.

I would like any advice you can give me on how to proceed with this situation. I would like to explore this area, but I seem to have hit a wall. I am very open, and able to express my feelings, thoughts, and emotions, but my wife does not have the same ability, and that has gotten in the way of our conversations on this topic. Please help!

p.s. to my knowledge, she has not been abused in any way, and I really have no reason to think so.

Blow job techniques on uncut guys

purelibertine — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 02:08:01 -0800

What are some oral sex techniques that apply specifically to uncircumcised men? I met a guy a couple weeks ago that I've been getting to know better as a friend and we have a ton of sexual chemistry. He's a few years older than me and has had more sexual partners, so I'd really like to make myself stand out and give him a mind blowing (no pun intended) experience.

I've read a thread or two on blow job techniques and they've given me ideas (though I'm already pretty confident in my skills), but it's been a while since I've been with an uncut guy. So I guess I was wondering if there's any tips you guys (or girls) have specifically for the uncircumcised male. Failing specific tips on that, any ideas are good. I want this to be an experience he'll remember (preferably in a good way).

Thanks in advance.

how to work constructively with a domineering classmate?

Anonymous — Sun, 30 Sep 2007 05:51:52 -0800

[Shy student filter]: how to work constructively with a domineering classmate?
I am preparing for an oral presentation for an MA grad class in three weeks time.

I have been assigned a co-presenter. This person is intelligent, has more experience than I ( has an MA and a BA under his belt, whereas I’m in the first year of my MA), and seems well-versed in the topic of our class.

He never fails to contribute to class discussion. And, although he usually has something substantive to add to discussions, he tends to dominate the class, which annoys me. He’s a bit of a know it all, and at the same time, a constructive contributer to discussion.

I am a eager to do well. I’m a good public speaker and am pretty confident in front of a class.

At the same time, I worry that I’m easily dominated. I can’t shake the feeling that I’m going to be “out-shined” by my co-presenter, and I want to address this fear constructively, so we can work well together, and so I can gain confidence.

We are currently in the planning stage of our presentation. What are some strategies I can employ to

(1) work constructively and collaboratively with a “Type A” personality;

(2) be a confident, rational, and well-read presenter?

How can I learn to understand and produce speech in a foreign language as well as I can write it?

SuperNova — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 18:09:57 -0800

I'm learning a new language (Italian), and as with other languages I've learned, I have no trouble with the written form. But, as with the others, the spoken variety gives me trouble. The front page part may be all you need, but in case it helps, here are some specifics. I'm starting to learn Italian through a university course. I already know a fair amount of Spanish (4 years of high school) and a little Portuguese (one semester in college) so I took the accelerated course that moves faster than the typical intro. FWIW, probably 4/5 of the class is majoring in another Romance language; I am not. (This probably doesn't matter other than they have more experience with a course not being in English.)

I'm not sure if I buy into the whole visual/auditory learner distinction, but I do know that in every language I "know" (including, to a lesser degree, English), I am much more proficient at reading/writing than listening/speaking.

This is the first course I've had that is given almost exclusively in a foreign language, so it's also the first time this has really been an issue. I've got a pretty good handle on conjugations, vocabulary, and the like when I write it, but when I speak, I get all tangled up. It's not primarily a pronunciation thing -- I know how most of the letters sound (even if I throw in some Portuguese-style long Es at times) -- but just can't get the words right, like throwing in a gli for an i, etc.

I got some good info from this thread but it seemed more applicable to non-academic settings. (While having a beer before my lunchtime class isn't out of the question, it's not really a solution for me.)

I'm in my last year, so the grade isn't really a big deal. (If it was, I might not even worry about this!) I'm taking the class because I'd like to actually learn Italian. So, polyglots of MeFi, how can I become better at comprehending and producing a spoken foreign language?

Experiences with infant oral thrush

Joh — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 14:34:12 -0800

YANMD: Infant/mother thrush advice sought My 11 week old son developed oral thrush a couple of weeks ago. The pediatrician prescribed Nystatin a week ago but so far it hasn't improved anything. Today I got him a prescription for Fluconazole to use as well (this has all been done by phone consults, no examination yet). The pediatrician asked me to apply the nystatin onto my nipples (my son is breastfed) to help clear it from me. After a little internet research, I am concerned that I may have the thrush in my gut also (I have been really gassy recently, but I have no symptoms of oral or vaginal thrush that I can detect). If I did have thrush in my system, presumably this would explain why my son's treatment isnt working? Is thrush passed on through the breastmilk itself or just skin to skin contact? I am trying to get an appt with my doctor asap so I can get checked out. Other info - I am sterilising pacifiers, bottles (he has expressed milk at night for dreamfeeds) and pump equipment daily. I have drastically reduced (but not totally eliminated) dairy, sugars and carbs from my diet and I am eating live yogurt every day. Is there anything else I can do to help clear it from my system? Any similar experiences with this problem and how you solved it gratefully received.