Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with open

You are about to be rear-ended. Is it better to open the door?

krautland — Sat, 18 May 2013 05:17:58 -0800

You are about to be rear-ended. Is it better to open the door? I was once in a fairly significant accident where I was rear-ended.
What sticks in my mind is that I saw the guy coming from behind as I was stopped.

I keep wondering if it's better to open your door when you think you are about to be hit from behind or to keep it closed.
An open door can't be jammed shut and thus enables rescuers to get to you faster but does it weaken the structure of the car as well?

Open.. open.. rghargh why won't you open#($*@#)

curious nu — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 15:32:10 -0800

Looking for a jar grip/opener much like this one (the beige thing, not the blue thing it's on top of). Thick rubber, ridges/grooves. My mom's had this one for 15+ years; there are no identifying marks on it and she can't remember where she picked it up. I've never seen another one like it and can't find any online. All I find are either the very thin grips, or the weird handle-sort.

Turn off Google Drive Preview "Feature"

decathecting — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 17:58:46 -0800

Google Drive (formerly Google Docs) has just unveiled a new "feature," that makes Google Drive open most files in a "preview" mode when you click on them, instead of just opening the file for editing/saving/etc. I would like to turn this "feature" off so that my files actually open. How can I do this? Apparently, CTRL+clicking or opening a file in Preview and then selecting "Open" is the only way to actually get the files to open so that they can be edited or downloaded or printed or whatever. But that's incredibly irritating! Multiple people have posted in Google's Help forums asking how to turn this off, but so far, no one has any answers. Google has these pages about it, but I couldn't figure out what they were talking about or how to do what they suggest. So I turn to the people of AskMe. Is there any way to fix this "feature?" Please explain to me like I'm your 80-year-old, computer illiterate grandma, just to make sure I understand it.

Help me diagnose my automatic garage door opener weirdness

misskaz — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 09:47:56 -0800

I have a two-car garage with a LiftMaster automatic garage door opener that is misbehaving and it's driving me crazy. It seems to be randomly just opening the door long after it is closed and I can't figure out why. I've seen the other questions about garage door openers but was hoping for some advice specific to my situation. Relevant or not relevant details:

1. The garage is a detached, unheated, two-car garage (in Chicago, so it's on an alley, not the street.)
2. My roommate and I each have remotes that we keep in our cars, although previously my roommate was keeping his in his backpack. He thought maybe he was accidentally bumping the button so he started keeping the remote in his car but it's still happening.
3. It's not that something is triggering the safety sensor as the door is closing - we are both making sure the door is COMPLETELY closed before driving away or going inside.
4. My roommate even checks the door again before going to bed and sometimes it has opened back up and sometimes it hasn't. Sometimes it is open in the morning, sometimes not.
5. It's one of the self-learning ones so there are no dipswitches to change if someone else's opener is interfering with ours.

Theories we've considered and/or correlating factors:
1. When I bought the house, our house inspector said the safety sensor wasn't working so we should get it fixed, which we never did. Is it possible it can malfunction in such a way that it opens the door long after it is fully closed?
2. My roommate seems to think it has something to do with the neighbor with a garage across the alley -- who does not have an automatic opener but does spend all hours of the day/night working in his garage blasting really loud music.
3. There seemed to be a pattern of my car always being home when it happened, but I don't drive very often so it's almost always home, and then it happened once when I was away.
4. This only recently started happening in the last few months. Coincidentally, I just got a roommate a few months ago - previously it was just my car.
5. Also coincidentally, the last few months mark winter and cold weather.
6. My next door neighbor drives a tow truck and therefore uses some kind of dispatch radio/CB/walkie-talkie thing.

Have you ever had this happen? Any ideas for what we could try to diagnose and/or fix it? I'd love to try some troubleshooting before calling someone out to fix or replace it.

Jealousy from the other side.

Anonymous — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 16:23:34 -0800

How to deal with jealousy from other men in my open relationship? My husband and I have an open relationship. I enjoy seeing other men but I've started to become weary of a pattern that I'm not sure how to deal with. The men I see will, more often than not, end up falling in love with me and want me for themselves. They know I'm married and happily so. I've done nothing to lead them on to think that I would run off with them. Some of the time they will just tell me their feelings and we can still carry on with a physical and friendly relationship. More recently, though, I've been dealing with some unhealthy jealousy on the man's part that has been extremely frustrating and has brought me to the point of taking a break from seeing other men for the time being.

It's like every so often I'll meet someone who is very into me but seems to be angered by the fact that I see other men and am happily married. For example there is one man who I'm good friends with and get on with very well. He's a well-adjusted kind man but sometimes he will express jealousy over my husband and tell me things like he wishes I would divorce my husband and be with him. Just the other day, a man I've been good friends with pretty much went off the rails and treated me awfully, then later texted me apologies and confessions that he is in love with me and just wants me for himself. That scared me and since I know others have these feelings for me, now I'm hesitant to carry on with those people in case they go nuts like the last guy did.

As for myself and my husband, we work so well together because we have incredible trust and zero jealousy. I'm just confused as to what to do with the jealousy I experience from other men and whether or not this is a common occurrence for people in open relationships.

Thanks in advance.

Email: openjealousy@gmail.com

Google-free web experience?

deathpanels — Fri, 09 Nov 2012 18:14:13 -0800

Let's say I want to live a Google-free existence on the web. What are my best (preferably free, open source) alternatives to various Google products, including the search engine itself?

Tinseltown Sex Therapist Wanted!

Anonymous — Fri, 03 Aug 2012 19:44:41 -0800

Where can I find a good sex therapist in Los Angeles? I am close with a woman is is bisexual and has been in open relationships in the past. I care for and love her deeply and the feeling is shared. In some ways I feel as if I am coming out of the closet with bisexuality and polyamory. I have felt this way for a long time. The opportunity never really presented itself until now and I feel paralyzed.

Some of the people I've met who are involved in this lifestyle/system make me cringe. I am also wary of therapists who are too foo-foo.

I am a 40YO healthy male.

intimate human connections

b33j — Sat, 14 Jul 2012 20:44:05 -0800

Where are my people? I recently attended a couple of AA meetings (Australia) and was struck by the openness, honesty, kindness, eloquence, reflectiveness of the members - maybe even (and this is difficult for this atheist to quantify) spirituality. Being Australia, there was very little overt religion.

Then I read some Kris Radish books: The Sunday List of Dreams, Dancing Naked at the Edge of Dawn, and the Elegant Gathering of White Snows. In the Sunday List of Dreams, the main character goes to a Women's Festival, which reminded me in a lot of ways of the AA meetings I've been to.

So tell me, where as a mid 40s single woman can go that has these aspects - welcoming, friendly, non-combatitive, open, expressive, event/meeting/group that is not connected to religion specifically and allows for all kinds of beliefs? I don't want to be forced into doing things that I may not enjoy (so rules have to be flexible). For example, maybe there's a nudist camp that is just right, but I want to be able to choose whether or not to disrobe.

Obviously, I would like something local (South East Queensland) but I am also interested in travel, and if there's some event somewhere in the world I shouldn't miss, please list it.

(FYI no church of universalists in this area and Mefi meetups are great, but I would like something a little deeper and more connected than this).

If it occurs to you that my question is too narrow (not because of Askme regulations, but because I haven't considered something else) please feel free to suggest things out of the scope, but also please explain why you've included them.

With snowflake details inside, how would I go about navigating the waters of finding a partner for limited openness?

Anonymous — Mon, 18 Jun 2012 07:55:39 -0800

I think I may be interested in exploring an open relationship at some point down the line, but where do I meet others like me? Anonymous because this is just going to sound shitty from every perspective.

I'm a late 20s female. I've recently started thinking that maybe in the long term, I would want some sort of an openness in my long term relationship. I don't want to start out open - I think a couple needs at least a few years to be together and bond - but eventually, I wonder if an affair or two a year that are mutually allowed would only enhance life.

The problem: how do I figure out who might be up for this sort of arrangement most tactfully?

I'm culturally fairly mainstream, and most of my friends are professionals and academics. We typically ascribe to pretty conventional lifestyles and values. The people I've seen seeking openness on their online profiles or attending polyamory meetings, etc, are generally very counterculture. I respect this, but it's not who I am and it's not typically a crowd I fit in with.

So now what? At this point in time, if I saw a man's profile that openly stated a preference for an open relationship, I would be fairly put off, because the honest statement of such a preference reveals some disregard for playing by society's rules. I recognize the irony here, but I actually do have a career that would be potentially damaged if this were a well-known fact about me, and most of the men whose lifestyles match mine probably fit into this same category. I actually hope this fact about society changes in the future, but this is the reality now.

So... Do I just date and initiate philosophical conversations about the nature of monogamy, taking it from there by gauging response? Do I bring it up directly within the first month or two of dating? Another issue here is that I don't want to scare off someone who may potentially be GGG about this after learning more about it by bringing it up early or in a manner that may seem aggressive. I think many people may never have considered the possibility that this can be a functional reality, and need to give it thought before being put off by unconventional ideas. For this reason, I wonder about the benefits of gently holding philosophical or hypothetical discussions and seeing where things go from there.

Also, do you have any examples of conventionally successful couples in every respect but this? I have NO doubt that some if not many couples I know have agreements of the sort, which are unknown to me for the aforementioned reasons, as well as just privacy. Are there high-powered professional couples who are open about this, whom you know? What are they like? If they're not open publicly about it, how did it come about?

New B2C ecommerce platform

asye288 — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 07:27:57 -0800

New B2C ecommerce platform - Magento or Open Cart?? I'm running a B2C Canadian online computer business and using a proprietary platform which giving me lots of problems in the past 18 months. We have over 10,000 product items on our site with average 5,000 visitors per day. Existing platform cannot handle the volume fast enough. There are no SEO tools such as 301 re-direction on existing solution.

Want to get onto a serious new ecommerce platform. I was told that Magento and Open Cart are good choices?? Any suggestions?? Please advise.

How to obtain recent Foreign Service Institute learning materials?

andendau — Sat, 31 Mar 2012 22:45:29 -0800

How do I obtain newer Foreign Service Institute language learning coursework and education materials? I have seen some materials produced by the Foreign Service Institute to teach different languages. Most of the materials that I have seen are from quite long ago and may be a little bit outdated. How can I obtain newer versions of FSI produced coursework? Would I have to file a Freedom of Information Act? Would they reject it based on anything? Has anyone tried to access these types of materials and been rejected?

Open Source Accounting Software

inquisitive — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 10:53:59 -0800

I am looking for a good, professional quality Open Source accounting software written either in C# (1st preference) or VB.NET. I am looking for desktop based (thick client) accounting software, not Web based. My objective is to study how professional quality applications are written, with a good and intuitive user interface, and use this knowledge to build my own software or tweak the open source software. The software should ideally support most common accounting and inventory features, expected of a professional app, and should be written for .Net framework 3.5 or above.

I have liked QuickBooks, T++ (mytplusplus.com), Microsoft Money, etc. but they are all paid apps and do not provide source code.

Help me get my knickers out!

gomichild — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 13:33:15 -0800

Wood! Lubrication and glide. I find myself living among several nice but sticky chest of drawers. They are all older in age and the drawers have been very difficult to get in and out smoothly.

Do I take to them with a plane? What's the best thing to use on them to get a smoother glide? Candles? Some kind of commercial wax?

Struggling with them just to get a pair of knickers out is driving me crazy - although they look fab.

DBA versus Developer as 35-year-old

ElisaOS — Sat, 08 Oct 2011 16:14:52 -0800

I moved into work in IT in my early 30's, and am now 35. I have had 2 Jr. DBA positions in that time period, although I do not have any database certifications. I took on this Jr DBA work with the intention of becoming a back-end developer. However, now I'm wondering -- is it better, considering my age, to pursue the career of DBA for good?

The last few years, I've taken coursework in PHP, Ruby on Rails, and database design. As for my portfolio, I've written some simple PHP-based Facebook apps and done some volunteer work customizing websites for local nonprofits.

But in my brief career, I've seen few programmers over the age of 40 working for an organization. Quite a few move into other roles or whole new fields. And companies seem more interested in hiring a promising 21-year-old with any degree, and training that person, than hiring an older programmer.

I do see older programmers in the public service , like at the university, but right now I would rather have private-sector pay. However, even at the most youthful companies I see older DBA's and SysAdmins -- age befitting the seriousness of the roles, I guess.

I would guess, given my experience, that I'm an average programmer with room to grow. However I seem to be skilled at database concepts that even some programmers have difficulty with.

At age 35, is it better to start out as a DBA than a developer?

Should I grant my girlfriend a "last hurrah" before settling down?

kramer1975 — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 03:02:14 -0800

My long-distance girlfriend wants to have a "last hurrah" and make our relationship open just for a few months before I return to her city and we make a long-term commitment. Are we courting disaster? So, I meet an amazing girl. We date for 7 months, and then I am offered an extremely attractive 1-2 year job posting halfway across the world. We are now two months into a very committed long distance relationship. We speak multiple times a day by phone, email, chat, etc, and I would say that our communication is very good. If all is well a year down the track, I am planning to move back to the same city so that we can be together. Both of us have a long-term commitment in mind.

However... My girlfriend is in her late 20s and about 8 years younger. She has spent most of her 20s in serious relationships, and has never really had a chance to just date around and have fun. She thinks that this might be her last chance, and wants to have an open relationship, just while we are apart. Kind of a "last hurrah" before I move back.

I trust her. And on a purely rational level, I am OK with this, even though I don't have any desire to see other people myself. My girlfriend is proposing a "don't ask don't tell" policy, and we have come up with various rules and boundaries that I think make sense. We also agreed to trial it for just 3 months until we next meet, at which point she thinks she may even have gotten things out of her system and be happy to revert to monogamy. However, I am a bit worried that this may not be as simple as flicking a switch on and then off again. ie I am worried about the unintended emotional consequences. I must admit the thought of her with other guys makes me queasy, and I have no idea if I will be able to quell the feelings of jealousy that could result. Any pointers on making such an arrangement work, or cautionary tales of the pitfalls?

Sooo...how about we go back to YOUR place?

Anonymous — Sun, 18 Sep 2011 07:49:37 -0800

How can I a single guy in an open relationship, arrange logistics to date/hang out with other women when I can't hang out in my apartment? My girlfriend and I have been together for a long time and have decided to open our relationship. I am interested in meeting women of the opposite sex and if everything goes good probably hang out in private spaces and what not. How do I go about meeting women that are interested in a guy in an open relationship? and in the case that I do meet them (I understand this is already a difficult task), how do I handle logistics regarding a place where to umm "hang'? (assuming we are past the point of dates). If you are or have been in an open relationship, how do you negotiate these logistics?

Movies with ambiguous endings

Mwongozi — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 08:58:50 -0800

What movies have an ambiguous ending? I don't really know how best to explain it so I'll give an example: In The Day the Earth Caught Fire, mankind is about to attempt to save itself in way that I won't spoil in case you haven't seen it, but the movie just ends without showing whether the plan was successful or not.

What other movies don't resolve themselves?

Do you think shelves instead of kitchen cabinets suck?

Foam Pants — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 16:49:56 -0800

An open shelf kitchen. Will it give my resale value the kiss of death? I have a tiny little kitchen. I have no money. When I moved in the 1963 cabinets were in poor shape, especially the doors that I just tossed rather than try to salvage. For the last three years, I have been living with open cabinets. The arrangement is poor and really doesn't give me much storage. I don't have the money to replace all the cabinets. I can replace the doors with a lot of elbow grease getting layers of paint off of the wood laminated cases and then painting the new doors to match. I could increase my storage by demolishing the empty cabinet soffit and making open shelving all the way to the ceiling, possibly putting in new closed cabinets around the range.

I am already living with open shelves so I don't mind them and actually prefer them. I may be moving within the year and will rent it out, possibly selling it within two years. I really want to do shelves. Is this a really shitty idea? Anybody have any experience?

Need some good FLOSS fund nominee's.

Chamunks — Sun, 31 Jul 2011 00:26:19 -0800

I need some good "Free Libra Open Source Software" projects to nominate for my local Linux User Group any one have any suggestions? We seem to be running short on some worthy nominees. List some good ones and a good reason why I should propose this to our LUG we have a fairly active and solid group.

When do I disclose my preference for nonmonogamy?

Cogito — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 14:09:48 -0800

I don't want to have monogamous relationships anymore. At what point should I tell this to people I'm interested in? After a couple years of interest in non-monogamy and several relationships where I made the compromise of monogamy to be with people I deeply cared for, I'm single and I've decided to give the open/poly thing an honest try to see if it's for me.

I've done a decent amount of online dating, and in those contexts it's usually clear upfront whether someone is interested in open relationships. However, when meeting people more organically, it usually isn't. Given that I want to include people who are amenable but inexperienced in non-monogamy as well as the veterans among my potential partners, when is a good point to broach the topic?

There's a certain purity to the idea of telling someone "I will never be monogamous with you" before even the first date, but I think that's presumptive and could scare off people who could be interested in openness if it were introduced more skillfully. When it comes to things like sexual histories, it's clear that discussion should take place before sex, but not necessarily much earlier. However, this is an emotional issue, so it's murkier. These days, I don't think exclusivity is assumed from the outset of dating. Should I bring up openness before the question of exclusivity comes up naturally? Are there are relationship milestones the discussion should come before or after? I know there's not one right answer, but hearing people's preferences and experiences would be useful for me.

Do politicians have to be closed about their openness?

anya32 — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 07:21:49 -0800

Weinergate wonderings: Can a politician have an open relationship? All of the Weinergate events, as well as the many (many, many) other politicians who have "cheated" on their wives, make me wonder - are any of these (mostly) men actually in open relationships with their spouses/partners? And are they just not allowed to be open about that with the media? Can a politician be open about an open/poly/etc. relationship and be elected? Are there any examples that you know of?

I Want A New Drug

Blazecock Pileon — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 13:36:29 -0800

Is there a dictionary of prescription and OTC drug names, which has an open license or can be licensed cheaply? I am looking for a database, table or flat file etc. of prescription drug names — generic and brand name — which can be used in the development of a software tool.

The key is that the data have an open or inexpensive license. Bonus points if the database includes a short description of the drug, manufacturers, and other metadata.

I'm not looking for a web service or web lookup, but a static data structure that I can include with the tool and use to look up references locally.

Thanks for sharing your knowledge and pointers!

Motion Detection for Video Files

Juffo-Wup — Mon, 11 Apr 2011 18:09:49 -0800

Is there a program or set of tools, preferably free / open source, that can take a video file as input, analyze the video, and output the parts of the video which contain motion above some threshold? The output could either be a video file or a series of still images.

How to show and voice a presentation on a PC?

parmanparman — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 06:04:49 -0800

I am having real trouble recording presentations on my Windows Vista laptop. I have this killer presentation on Open Office Impress and have CamStudio and Audacity. But, Audacity keeps crashing and I can't get CamStudio to record the entire screen. When I set "Full Screen" it just records a corner of it. I am wracking my brain trying to figure out a way to make this presentation work. I also have a Flip Mino and a slideshare account but I don't want to put the presentation online as its a course audition and very rough. Suggestions???

How to get Firefox and Winamp to mesh well?

aerotive — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 09:13:04 -0800

Is there any way to get Winamp's controls and playlist window to open upwardly? Given Firefox's new look keeping Winamp in runt mode in the title bar doesn't really work anymore, there's only room for a few tabs. Here's a screenshot of what I mean:

http://img691.imageshack.us/f/screenshotone.jpg/

However the add-on bar would be great place to stick winamp, if I could just get the controls and playlist to open upwards. As is they open downward and it's just unworkable.

(http://img205.imageshack.us/f/screemshottwo.jpg/)

I know you can change around Firefox's look, but I really like the way they handle tabs now and would much rather find a way to make winamp fit in. Some setting I'm overlooking, an alternative skin, registry hack, whatever. As for winamp alternatives, I've been using Winamp this way for ~ 15 years and would prefer to keep doing so. However if there's a really good alternative that would do this I'd give it a try.

Thanks.