I'm a lot better looking in person. No, seriously!

Anonymous — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 12:41:01 -0800

I don't take good pictures and I think it's putting a crimp in my style online-personal-wise. What can I do to get guys to meet me in person? I'm female. I want to date. I write great personal ads and let my witty & winsome self shine through online communications (and phone). I'm an introvert and date guys outside my race --- online personals seem to be a good choice. Problem: I am not photogenic. I don't look like elephant woman but I don't look like me either -- someone who's pretty/sometimes hot.

Lately, great email communication stops dead once I share my pic. Is it my pic? I'm honest about my description before hand, whether it's an ad I placed or one that caught my eye. I've had friends read my prior correspondence to see if I was lying/dissembling/dreaming. I'm being truthful according to them.

I get anxious at the thought of talking to someone I don't know or flirting with someone who didn't already see me as a potential romantic partner, so approaching guys I meet IRL would be awful, painful, and amusing in a twisted way at best. I understand where the guys are coming from: people lie online. The last few guys I dated (two long-term) said they met with me in spite of my pic or didn't see my pic (and didn't share theirs). Upon meeting me they were rather pleasantly surprised. Some people will still reject me nonetheless -- fine. But I'd like a chance with the guys who'd flirt with me in person but are turned off my pics.

Do I give up on dating online? Use someone else's pics? Refuse to share a pic? Give references? There's a part of me that thinks okay, I'm not attractive -- assuming that part is off its rocker, what do you suggest?

Show me the "real" you.

peewee — Thu, 22 Jun 2006 19:42:55 -0800

What are your favorite subtle questions to ask, while in the early stages of dating, that'll help reveal some insight into the real personality of your potential S.O.? Ok, so you've met for the initial cup of coffee and that went well. Maybe you've been out a time or two since then. The conversations are past the point of "Oh, you like that too? Yes, I do. Wow, that's cool" and now you'd like to dig a little deeper, while at the same time not making them feel like they're under a microscope or being interviewed. You want to start finding out about the little, yet oh-so-important nuances of who they really are. Tell me, clever ones of Ask Metafilter, what kinds of questions do you ask?

Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with onlinepersonals

I'm a lot better looking in person. No, seriously!

Show me the "real" you.